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1
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,841
Sarah Boone's house finally sold.
2
00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:10,593
It's so cute. I'm surprised
it was on the market for so long.
3
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,430
I bet Sarah Boone's ghost
is haunting the place.
4
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,182
She did die
under mysterious circumstances.
5
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,684
She was 98.
6
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,562
Ripped from this world in her prime.
7
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:22,439
98 is no one's prime.
8
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,898
-Oh, look.
-They're here!
9
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,904
Oh, what?
10
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,535
Who would tear down that
beautiful old craftsman house?
11
00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,287
-New York.
-What?
12
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,622
Couple moving down from New York City.
13
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,833
-Whoa!
-New York City?
14
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,585
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
15
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:46,254
Praying to Debbie Harry
actually works. Yes!
16
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,048
I wonder what
they're gonna build over there.
17
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,507
Probably something with a stoop.
18
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,343
New Yorkers love stoops.
19
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,053
I hope they don't build a skyscraper
20
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,679
that'll block our prime view
of the water tower.
21
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,647
Will Sarah Boone's ghost
even fit in that house?
22
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,437
We may have a Stuart Little
scenario on our hands.
23
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,772
Let's go say hi
to our new mouse neighbors.
24
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,816
Wait. We can't go now.
25
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,275
We don't have anything to take 'em.
26
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,027
-Damn it!
-So?
27
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,862
Violet, you can't go over
to meet new neighbors
28
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,406
without bringing a homemade dish.
29
00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:56,908
It's the number-one rule
of Southern hospitality.
30
00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:59,577
Oh, grab those little fried pies
I got at the gas station.
31
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,621
Gas station pies?
32
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,832
Take 'em out of the wrapper,
put fork marks on the top,
33
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,250
throw 'em in a little basket,
34
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,668
and cover them with a cutesy towel.
35
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:07,961
They'll never know the difference.
36
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,379
I guess that would look nice.
37
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,047
Sorry, junk basket.
38
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,091
Oh, my Lord, that's so cute,
39
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:15,719
Joanna Gaines could sell it!
40
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:20,932
Virginia, Jackie, your order's up!
41
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,851
You want me to get it?
42
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,103
-Ugh. This place is gonna kill me.
43
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:27,439
Hub, I swear to God,
I'm gonna shove that bell up your...
44
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,859
Sorry. I'm on edge.
45
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,028
Did you hear this place might be closing?
46
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,654
-What?!
-No way.
47
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,322
This place is the best.
48
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,907
Is it 'cause of the sinkhole?
49
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,076
Yup. It's spreading, too.
50
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,371
I hope those people finish
their dinner real quick.
51
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,665
If the owners can't raise money
for the repairs,
52
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,084
they're gonna have
to cut their losses and move in
53
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,628
with their adult son in Morehead City.
54
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,464
But, Meemaw, what about your job?
55
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,923
Oh, I'll find something.
56
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,343
Just got to find a place that'll put up
57
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,761
with me and your Uncle Tommy.
58
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,304
-Tommy! I told you,
59
00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,931
-don't play near the sinkhole!
60
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,643
Meemaw is never gonna be able
to find another job.
61
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,646
She's lucky this place will put
up with her and Uncle Tommy.
62
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,649
I wish I could come up with
the money to save this place.
63
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,735
Think, Wayne! Think!
64
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,737
You cannot let her lose this job.
65
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:20,241
Think! Think! Where will I get
a bunch... of... cash?
66
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,327
Uh, Wayne.
67
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,836
Wait.
This is a huge moment.
68
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,881
We are about to meet a couple
of real live New Yorkers.
69
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,884
Oh. Do I open with a reference
to Jean-Michel Basquiat
70
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,345
or lament the fact that
CBGBs became an Anthropologie?
71
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,514
Quick. Can you tell I'm cool
without caring?!
72
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,724
Vi, are you having a nervous toot?
73
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:45,975
I am not farting.
74
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,769
I'm visualizing what I want
75
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,938
from our fabulous New York neighbors.
76
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,151
She's a museum curator,
77
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,487
and he's a documentarian
specializing in the synth-based
78
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,782
scores that broadened the appeal
of '70s Italian horror.
79
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,909
They make a film about me that's wordless.
80
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,495
It's shown at her museum's
annual gala to rave reviews
81
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,665
in the Daily News and tepid
reviews in the New York Post.
82
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,083
Vi, that's an awful lot to expect
83
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,501
just 'cause they're from New York.
84
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,920
Besides, here's what's
really gonna happen.
85
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,840
He's a renowned choreographer,
86
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,592
and she's a renowned choreographer.
87
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,094
They catch me doing a simple dance move,
88
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,346
and they are blown away.
They open
89
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:26,641
a Fame school of the arts
with me as their star pupil.
90
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,977
Fame?
More like lame.
91
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,854
Here's what I'm picturing.
92
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,315
He's a mob kingpin
and she's his hot-ass goomah.
93
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,651
I teach 'em how
the game works in Greenpoint,
94
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:40,155
and let's just say
they're very appreciative.
95
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,240
Soon they're paying me tribute.
96
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,326
And anyone who crosses me
ends up in the bottom of the ocean
97
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,621
wearing a pair of cement Ug-gugs.
98
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,834
Hey, hey, hey.
We're whittling.
99
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,419
Yes, we just took up whittling.
100
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,338
Oh... kay.
101
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,096
-Anyway, we just... Oh!
Aah! My fingertip.
102
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,642
Wow.
I'm worse at this than I remember.
103
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,436
How can we be this bad?
104
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,646
Yeah, I thought this game was for babies.
105
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,065
Oh.
106
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,566
I'm not trying to be rude.
107
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,151
I just actually thought
this was one of those,
108
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,236
like, learning games
for toddlers or something.
109
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,864
I mean, it's holes and beanbags.
110
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,200
How much skill does it take?
111
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,663
I shouldn't tell y'all this,
but I know a legendary
112
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,041
cornhole guy can teach you.
113
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,127
But he gave up holing years ago,
114
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,797
and he's real reluctant
to come out of retirement.
115
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,718
Wait.
Is it you?
116
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,053
No.
117
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,473
He doesn't live far from here,
118
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,308
but I can't say anything else.
119
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,768
Don't make me.
120
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,770
Okay, we won't.
121
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,356
Are you deaf?
I said he likes his privacy.
122
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,358
Here's his address.
123
00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,693
It's walkable.
124
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,195
-But leave him alone!
125
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,077
Uh, you sure you don't want a Band-Aid?
126
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,704
Oh, no, we don't do anything single-use.
127
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,289
We only generate a third
of a cup of garbage a day.
128
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,792
Well, now that we've found
your fingertip, I'm Jenny,
129
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,919
and this is my mom Betty
and my daughter Violet.
130
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,379
We just came by to say hi.
131
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,048
Oh, my God, that is so Southern.
Sam, did you hear?
132
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:25,301
We just came by to say hi.
133
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,095
It is so precious.
134
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,596
Hi, you'ins.
135
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,515
Huh. Is that what I sound like?
136
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,559
Uh, you know,
I think it's "y'all," not "you'ins,"
137
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,102
so wouldn't it be, um...
138
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,022
"I don't sou-yund like tha-yut, y'all"?
139
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,858
I don't sou-yund like tha-yut, y'all.
140
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,109
-I don't sou-yund like tha-yut.
-You'ins. No.
141
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:43,111
-Y'all. Y'all.
-Is it "y'all"?
142
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,113
-You know what? You place it in the jaw.
Where do you
143
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,490
-keep your record collection?
-She's been really excited
144
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,284
about New Yorkers moving in.
We all have.
145
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,369
-We were done with New York.
-So done.
146
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,787
Wh-Wh-Why?
147
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,123
-It's all so corporate.
-Congested.
148
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,292
-Plastic.
-Crate and Barrel.
149
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,711
Yes. That's good.
Plastic. So sick of it.
150
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,298
Oh.
I almost forgot, we brought you these.
151
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,217
Look at this.
What are these... little...
152
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,928
pies?
-They are. Oh, my God.
153
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,598
-Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
-Mmm. Mmm.
154
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,142
Sam, you know who would love these?
Hadassah and Tony.
155
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,270
Oh, my God, yes.
That's Hadassah Singh and Tony LaBianci,
156
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,772
our neighbors from 4G.
157
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,191
He's a documentarian,
she's a museum curator.
158
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,442
Oh, come on.
159
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,027
And Trudie and Rodrick.
160
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,695
Trudie Hadid and Rodrick Feinstein.
161
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,489
They teach at the, uh, LaGuardia School.
162
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,948
You know, the Fame school?
163
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,950
They almost moved down here,
too, to find new talent,
164
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:31,951
but we talked them out of it.
165
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,453
Oh, you're kidding me.
166
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,413
Oh, also, our friend Big Paulie.
167
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,625
He-He's in sanitation,
but we all know what that means. Wink!
168
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,960
-Unbelievable.
-Lucky you'ins.
169
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,963
Looks like y'all are stuck with us.
170
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,466
Oh, my finger just fell off.
Sam?
171
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,551
Sam?!
172
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:57,227
Let's see what this cornhole
Mr. Miyagi's all about.
173
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,980
Go away!
174
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,192
Uh, try knocking again.
175
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,902
Oh, for Pete's sake.
176
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,198
Fine!
Since you refuse to leave,
177
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,283
I have no choice but to train you.
178
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,124
Hello.
Leslie and Sam.
179
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:22,043
-Good Lord!
180
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,087
Hello?
181
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,632
Well, howdy, y'all.
182
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,801
Is the emphasis on the "yah" or the "all"?
183
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,554
-It's just one syllable less. Y'all.
-Yah-all.
184
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,764
Y'all.
Just... y'all.
185
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:38,101
We just wanted to stop by
and thank you again for those pies.
186
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,603
We could taste generations
of Southern tradition.
187
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,355
So authentic.
188
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,607
We want to send
some to our friends back in New York.
189
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:49,112
Could we possibly maybe ask you
to make a few more?
190
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,947
-Oh, gosh. I don't know.
-I don't think so.
191
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:55,618
We would pay you, of course.
How's 20 bucks for a pie?
192
00:08:55,702 --> 00:09:01,124
Well, howdily doodily,
and a possum on a length of rope.
193
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,835
We'd be much obliged, y'all!
194
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,968
Violet, hand me that old pie.
195
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:15,263
You guys, are we really doing this?
Plagiarizing food?
196
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,183
Violet, hush.
This is grown-up business.
197
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,352
-Oh, hell no!
-Release that pie, virgin!
198
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,107
The game was perfect.
199
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,526
Jenny and I hit every gas station
200
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,570
from Greenpoint to Charlotte.
201
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,699
Word started to spread,
and the money came rolling in.
202
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,953
And then we hit the jackpot.
203
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,957
Great news.
Your pies have made us famous.
204
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:46,461
We convinced New York Times
food critic Alan Thatt
205
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,547
to come here in person
to do an entire spread about us
206
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,758
and you and your pies that we discovered.
207
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,468
This is huge.
208
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:59,099
Feel the bag, its character.
209
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:03,144
How it sags, how it spills over the side.
210
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,397
Cradle the bag.
211
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,357
Adjust the bag.
212
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,567
Become one with the bag.
213
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,569
That's excellent, Wayne.
214
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,030
N-N-Now, now hold Travis's bag.
215
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,616
How are your bags different?
216
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,285
-N-Now, Travis, hold Wayne's bag again.
I'm sorry.
217
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,663
Is this gonna be all about
cupping each other's bags?
218
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,748
When do we get to the holes?
219
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,171
There. A hole.
May we proceed?
220
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,341
Um, Houston,
we're gonna need a bigger hole.
221
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,177
You don't think that hole's big enough?
Interesting.
222
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:53,528
♪ Cornhole ♪
223
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:57,991
♪ Get in the game, sink in that sack ♪
224
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,202
♪ If you fall down,
then you climb right back ♪
225
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:04,914
♪ Eyes on the prize, get in the hole ♪
226
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:09,544
♪ Don't you back down
till you reach that goal ♪
227
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,963
♪ 'Cause it's a cornhole journey ♪
228
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:16,593
♪ There's only winners
and the losers on gurneys ♪
229
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,888
♪ Yeah, it's a cornhole journey ♪
230
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:24,517
♪ Don't mess around,
'cause that mess ain't furny ♪
231
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,437
♪ Yeah! ♪
232
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,357
-You. You. You're the man.
-No, man, that's you, man, all you.
233
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,567
-No, no. You. You the man.
-Stop, stop.
234
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,737
you never celebrate.
235
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,989
Victory goes to the humble.
236
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,075
Ad nu lapa crionis.
237
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,577
That's the most important rule.
238
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,495
Now we do it all again...
239
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,081
-but wetter.
240
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,582
Whoa.
241
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,044
Why does it look like a Cracker Barrel
242
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,253
exploded in our house?
243
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,215
Because we have to look the part, Vi.
244
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,259
Exactly.
Jenny 'N Betty's Sweet-Hart Pies
245
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,762
are made by America's darlings,
the Hart Sisters...
246
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,473
In their adorably cluttered Southern home,
247
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,350
where the old ways live on
248
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,977
and the younger, hotter sister Betty
249
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,938
often plays the banjo.
250
00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,356
What the...?
No way.
251
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,233
You're perpetuating the stereotype
252
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,902
of the dumb, simple Southerner. I'm out.
253
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,405
Shut up and put this on,
or I'm gonna tan your hide.
254
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:26,162
Hey, y'all.
Well, bless my stars, and I might die.
255
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,123
Come on in.
Alan Thatt,
256
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,291
as I live and breathe.
257
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,919
And this here is my daughter Violet.
258
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:36,673
Violet, why don't you
give these lovely folks a chin-wag?
259
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,842
-Howdy.
-Oh!
260
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,345
Look-a-look who's here.
Good night, I reckon.
261
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:46,057
♪ Well, lemme tell you a little story
'bout a gal named Betty ♪
262
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:47,600
♪ In case you haven't guessed ♪
263
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,269
-♪ That's me ♪
264
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,063
♪ Taught about bakin'
from a little old lady ♪
265
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:54,149
♪ Yep, that was my grammy so sweet ♪
266
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:57,027
♪ But, of course, soon enough,
some hookers got jealous ♪
267
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,988
♪ 'Cause I kept feeding
all the hungry, hot fellas ♪
268
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:03,533
♪ They tried to take me down,
but they couldn't compete ♪
269
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,494
♪ With my flaky hot pie
and my juicy butt meats ♪
270
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:11,708
♪ Now here's a list of my ugly enemies ♪
271
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,501
-Mother, Mother, Mother!
-♪ There's Crystalynn and Bobbie Nell ♪
272
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,795
♪ And Clara from Quiznos
and Stephanie from Quiznos ♪
273
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,173
♪ And this lady at Kohl's
who won't honor my coupons ♪
274
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:21,760
♪ I hope she dies of genital herpes. ♪
275
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,511
-Mother!
-That was wonderful.
276
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,014
I am in awe.
Thank you, Betty.
277
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,474
Hey, Alan,
278
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,476
I got a great idee
while I was skipping frogs
279
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,144
out on yonder creek.
280
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,564
Y'all should get some photos
of Ma and Gram actually making
281
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,107
them there pies.
282
00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,693
I love that.
We'll capture them
283
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:41,112
in their stupidly simple country kitchen.
284
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,372
-Hi. I'm Joe Buck
285
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,790
here with Erin Andrews,
286
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,876
and we are literally
being forced to do this.
287
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,920
That's right, Joe.
Well, the boards are waxed,
288
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,421
and the bags have been weighed.
289
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:02,175
Our teams today represent bars
all over North Carolina.
290
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,762
We've got the team from
It's Vine O'Clock Somewhere,
291
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:09,307
Mary Elizabeth Covington's Cigar Emporium,
292
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,559
Unz-Unz Nightclub,
293
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:14,312
and newcomers this year,
playing to save their bar,
294
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,439
the team from Tipsy River.
295
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,608
I thought Tipsy River
got eaten by a sinkhole.
296
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,110
Only most of it, Erin.
297
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,779
And I'm so sad that I know that.
298
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,366
And there's the dangerous
indoor starting gun.
299
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,471
-You are unbeatable. All you, bro.
-No, you are, bro.
300
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,514
You're a beast.
301
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,480
-Yeah! Yeah!
-Yeah! Yeah!
302
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,898
-Yeah!
-Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
303
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,525
Remember, the humbler the warrior,
304
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,569
the greater the victory.
305
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,487
Don't let your confidence
sink your chances
306
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,072
into the hole of hubris.
307
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:09,159
Est non libre don carta brevis.
308
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,660
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
309
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,470
Oh, my hand!
My throwing hand.
310
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:31,389
Pride cometh before the fall.
311
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,017
Oh, and who was it that said,
"Mark my words,
312
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,186
we'll never need medics
at a cornhole tourney"?
313
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,604
Was that you, Joe Buck?
314
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,939
That was me, Erin.
315
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,941
I have no idea how to make a friggin' pie.
316
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,526
Who do I look like, P.F. Chang?
317
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,112
Yeah, and who am I?
Gordon Ramses?
318
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:52,369
Well, okay, then.
I guess we should...
319
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,371
-...start...
-...with...
320
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,247
...a prayer.
321
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,541
Yes.
Everyone, close your eyes.
322
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,379
Dear Lord,
323
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,423
way up high in the sky,
324
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:10,095
not even a speck to the naked eye,
325
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,013
show us
326
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,350
the miracle of pie.
327
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,351
And, Lord...
328
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,727
-Amen.
329
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,729
I'm just gonna look for a pie dish.
330
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,399
Thanks, Violet.
331
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,817
Ah, well, you know what?
332
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,652
I can't find my lucky rolling pin.
333
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,736
Here it is.
334
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,738
Thank you.
335
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:32,742
Oh, no.
We're completely out of flour.
336
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,454
Mother, let's just do this.
How hard can it be?
337
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:39,416
Perfect. Now we let it cool.
338
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,751
And once we break off the char,
the inside pie
339
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,670
is gonna be a taste of heaven.
340
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,588
You know you got a good pie
when you got to get through
341
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,799
a big ole chunk of char.
342
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,384
Guys, just fess up.
343
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:52,220
Okay, Vi.
You're right.
344
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:55,265
Here's the truth.
The God's honest truth.
345
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,101
And the truth is...
346
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,603
We're blind.
347
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,773
Mother, we don't have to pretend no more.
348
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,650
You are so brave for saying it.
349
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,361
Let me feel your perfect smile.
350
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:09,904
Just tell them.
351
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,825
Fine!
We buy these pies at a gas station.
352
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,618
-What am I, a debutante?
353
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,496
At home eating bonbons while
my husband works on Wall Street?
354
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:19,831
We don't have all the time in the world
355
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,082
to learn how to make pies.
356
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:22,792
Y'all got so much time, you even write
357
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,627
about other people making pies.
358
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,796
What kind of New York crap is that?
359
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,549
You fed us pies from a gas station?
360
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,635
-But you liked 'em.
-Yeah, we saw it. You liked 'em.
361
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,347
You dragged me down
to this humid dog patch of a town
362
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:38,099
so that I could eat
mass-produced gas station pies?
363
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,810
You're gonna make me look like a fraud.
364
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,896
As they say in New York,
365
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,899
hey, I'm crying here.
366
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,402
You country-ass bastards.
367
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,448
Guys, wait.
Hang on.
368
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,617
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
369
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,453
You two are just a couple
big old tubs of Country Crock,
370
00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,662
y'all.
371
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,247
Yeah, we thought you were real Southerners
372
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:03,666
like in the documentary Steel Magnolias.
373
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,168
That's not a documentary.
374
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,587
-You're frauds, "yawl."
375
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:10,507
You're not saying it right.
376
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,843
Well, apparently, you're not
saying it right, either, "yawl."
377
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,929
-It's "y'all."
-"Yawl."
378
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,430
-"Y'all"! Just "y'all"!
379
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,932
"Yawl."
I know how to say it. "Yawl."
380
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,350
-No, you don't, y'all.
-"Yawl."
381
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,810
-"Y'all!"
-"Yawl."
382
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,478
"Y'all."
383
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,112
My mom was a single working mother.
384
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,697
We didn't have time to make pies.
385
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,407
I grew up on boxed macaroni and cheese
386
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,950
and French bread pizzas.
387
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,911
Can I tell you something?
I love a French bread pizza.
388
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,788
I used to put boxed macaroni and cheese
389
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,248
on the French bread pizza.
390
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,166
Don't tell Alan Thatt.
391
00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,553
I can't let Meemaw down.
392
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,558
Give me a bag.
393
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,976
I'll throw goofy-handed.
394
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,602
Wayne,
395
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,438
you've shown your mettle.
396
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,524
I want you to use my bags
397
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,276
for your final throw.
398
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,446
I've never let another man handle my bag.
399
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:17,741
Wayne Edwards throwing lefty now
for the final hole,
400
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,077
the famed Hole of Glory.
401
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,798
Let the hole swallow the bag.
402
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:50,774
Do you believe in miracles?
403
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,650
That's been used, Erin.
404
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,403
But I don't believe what I just saw.
405
00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,864
That's my grandson.
406
00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,658
Thank you, baby.
Tipsy River's saved!
407
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,870
I can keep working until I die of old age.
408
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:22,389
Mmm, yum, yum!
409
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:25,600
What is that?!
Mmm.
410
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,896
Is this his first time eating food?
411
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,273
This restaurant
will receive my highest rating.
412
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:33,900
The Last Supper is...
413
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,402
All Thatt.
414
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:38,029
It's a sticker for your front window.
415
00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,823
I love it.
416
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,951
Sam, Leslie, all of New York is gonna know
417
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,869
-about your special find.
-Thanks...
418
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,455
-y'all?
-You got it right.
419
00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:50,542
-♪ Well ♪
-♪ Well ♪
420
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,294
♪ Lemme tell you a li'l story
'bout a gal named Betty ♪
421
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:56,047
-♪ In case you haven't guessed,
that's me ♪
-♪ That's her ♪
422
00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:58,800
♪ She was taught about baking
from a little old lady ♪
423
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,927
-♪ Yes, it was my grammy so sweet ♪
-♪ So sweet. ♪
424
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:13,064
♪ But, of course, soon enough,
some hookers got jealous ♪
425
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,692
♪ 'Cause I kept feeding
all the hungry, hot fellas ♪
426
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,319
♪ They tried to take you down,
but they couldn't compete ♪
427
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,239
♪ With your flaky hot pie
and your juicy butt meats ♪
428
00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:25,118
♪ Now let me tell ya about
some real dummies who suck ♪
429
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,496
♪ They're just bitter,
they're saggy dump trucks ♪
430
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:31,249
♪ There's Crystalynn,
who's dry as the Sahara ♪
431
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,918
♪ And Bobbie Nell
and this bitch named Clara. ♪
432
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,920
433
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,007
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