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1
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,010
Oof, who farted?
2
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,220
It wasn't me.
I haven't farted a day in my life.
3
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,597
Which one of you did it?
Fess up.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,266
Please stop talking about farts.
5
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,143
Can we circle back to Gram saying
6
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,061
she's never farted a day in her life?
7
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,147
-'Cue's up!
-Ugh, none for me.
8
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,858
I lost my appetite
due to your ass-smelling yard.
9
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,986
Oh, yeah. The skunk population
is exploding this year.
10
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,197
I don't know what happened,
but the skunks have had
11
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,615
a very horny springtime.
12
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:33,867
Well, that horny springtime
13
00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,036
is turning into a very stanky summer.
14
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,246
-You need to clean this up.
-They're not in my yard.
15
00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:41,207
It's Dr. Chakrabarti's.
I'll go talk to her.
16
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,126
Hi, Wayne.
17
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,545
Okay, now, don't try to sweet-talk me,
Dr. Chakrabarti.
18
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,464
You got to do something about your yard.
19
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,091
My yard?
We've been over this, Wayne.
20
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,011
Why would I allow a seasonal skunk orgy
21
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,721
on my land, huh?
22
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,932
They ruined my papasan chair
with their musky lovemaking.
23
00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:01,227
No, no, no.
These skunks are your problem, Wayne.
24
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:04,230
No, ma'am.
My property ends at that truck tire.
25
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,399
That's why the truck tire's there.
26
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,944
No, no, no.
My land stops at the iridescent orb.
27
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,238
Dr. Chakrabarti, an iridescent orb
28
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,740
is not legally binding.
29
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,325
Neither is a truck tire.
30
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,078
Okay, we're gonna settle this
once and for all.
31
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,500
The land in dispute is right here.
32
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,043
Skunktown.
33
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,711
What the hell is Skunktown?
34
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,296
Yet another person who missed
35
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,340
my five-part library lecture series
36
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,592
on the history of Greenpoint.
37
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,594
Oh, how did I miss that?
38
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,513
-Yeah, could you just give us a quick...
Skunks
39
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,139
first colonized this land
40
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,266
-in 1794.
-♪ ♪
41
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,935
With the arrival
42
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,812
of European settlers, an uneasy truce
43
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:47,440
was established tween man and skunk.
44
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,609
Gifts were exchanged.
45
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,278
Treaties were struck...
46
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:53,613
and broken.
47
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,408
A feud ignited,
48
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resulting in the Battle of Skunktown.
49
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,913
50
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,583
Skunk and man lost life.
51
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,169
The skunks learned the hard way
52
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:12,298
you can't bring an anal gland
to a gunfight.
53
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,593
Somebody should put that on a T-shirt.
54
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,886
I'm already on it.
55
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,888
So, yeah, about the land?
56
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,974
Yes.
Skunktown was annexed
57
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:25,228
in 1970 to 843 Tipton Drive.
58
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,230
No!
That's my address.
59
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,149
Aw, you got to be joking.
60
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,317
Ugh. Looks like we've got
some skunks to battle.
61
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,112
Better prep your anal glands, Wayne.
62
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,562
Great.
Now I have to deal with these skunks,
63
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,855
not to mention the headache
64
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,774
of having to move my property line tire.
65
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,817
Yeah, if only that tire
was in the shape of something
66
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,944
that would make it move easier.
67
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,738
Wayne, get rid of the skunks
and build something
68
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,239
on that land it turns out you own.
69
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,450
You could build a mini golf course.
70
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,369
Or an outdoor escape room.
71
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:26,039
If it's outdoors, could people just,
I don't know, leave?
72
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,708
Not if the walls are mirrors.
73
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,293
Couple of loonies.
74
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,045
Let's celebrate
with drinks at Tipsy River.
75
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,506
Uh, I don't want to go to Tipsy River.
76
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:35,965
I don't want to bother my meemaw
77
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,385
-while she's working.
-Let's not push it.
78
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,096
He's embarrassed
of his country-ass grandma.
79
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,014
Don't be embarrassed
of your meemaw, Wayne.
80
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,265
She's fun.
81
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,518
There he is. The son of the cutie
82
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,311
who shot out of my ha-hooey.
83
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,897
It's my grandson, y'all. Hoot 'n' Haw!
84
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,024
Come on, everybody, say it with me.
85
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,652
-Hoot 'n' Haw!
Hoot 'n' Haw!
86
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:59,280
That's what we Edwards do
when we see each other.
87
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:01,825
-Yes, Meemaw. We all know.
88
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,493
Hoot 'n' Haw! Come on, Wayne.
89
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,495
Hoot 'n' Haw!
90
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,997
-Hoot 'n' Haw.
91
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,333
Hey, y'all. Jimmy Lee, your burger's up.
92
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,752
You mind getting it?
I got to talk to my grandson.
93
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,798
So, did y'all hear me and Ned broke up?
94
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,675
Yeah. Lord.
95
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,427
I caught that horny-ass, dried-up gnome
96
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,470
rubbing his nephew's step-aunt's feet.
97
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,222
Uh, keep it down, Meemaw.
98
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,932
Packed my things, took Uncle Tommy
99
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,434
and hauled ass out of there.
100
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,644
It's a hell of a thing being adrift.
101
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,522
-No place to call home.
-Well, this is perfect, Meemaw,
102
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,149
'cause Wayne just discovered he got
103
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,692
-a whole other parcel of land.
104
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,153
-Mm-mm.
-But luckily, I'm good.
105
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,031
Yeah. Robert Plant's coming
to the coliseum this weekend.
106
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,574
We're gonna crash with him.
107
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:45,452
Wait, like, Led Zeppelin's Robert Plant?
108
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,455
Yeah, Vi.
Meemaw used to be a groupie.
109
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,290
And not during his crap Led Zeppelin era.
110
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,000
We're talking Honeydrippers.
111
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,877
And you can bet there's gonna be
112
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,629
some "good rockin' at midnight."
113
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,761
-We beat you once, skunks.
114
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:05,972
We'll beat you again!
115
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,017
The Second Battle of Skunktown
116
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,603
was threatening to be even bloodier
117
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,854
-than the first.
118
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,856
No!
Wayne, we're being overrun!
119
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,691
I'm taking so many butt spurts.
120
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,902
Me, too.
Oh! Jenny.
121
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,196
-Jenny!
-Yes?
122
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,739
Should we just call Exterminex?
123
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,491
Yeah, let's do that.
124
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,828
Damn, they are good.
125
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,623
Look at your land, Wayne.
Oh, it's beautiful.
126
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,292
I'm so excited.
I want to make it into something
127
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,044
that'll make you and Betty proud.
128
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,507
Huh?
129
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,343
Oh, no.
130
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,517
Hey, y'all.
We're moving in.
131
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,602
Hoot 'n' Haw!
132
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,441
No, no, no.
Meemaw, wait.
133
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,068
What happened with Robert Plant?
134
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,862
His wife found me hiding
in the business center.
135
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,407
Yeah, busted.
Then I realized
136
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:08,159
I can park myself on Wayne's new land.
137
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,370
Meemaw, no.
No, no, no.
138
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,914
We got to get her out of here.
If she unpacks,
139
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,833
she'll be here even longer
than the skunks were.
140
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,876
Just trading one infestation for another.
141
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,753
-Uncle Tommy, get back here.
142
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,842
This is a disaster.
Oh, look,
143
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,969
Dr. Chakrabarti and Betty
are already staring.
144
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,596
Oh, Wayne, don't be embarrassed.
He's just a little boy.
145
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,558
Your grandmother and her son, your uncle,
146
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,143
need a place to say.
147
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,145
It's not just gonna be Meemaw
and Uncle Tommy.
148
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,272
When there's one, there's thousands.
149
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,567
Trust me, you give these people an inch,
they'll take a yard.
150
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,528
And by that I mean
they'll fully take control of your yard
151
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,113
and everything in it.
152
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,448
-Wayne, quit being
153
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,992
such a judgy butt about your own family.
154
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,298
-What?
155
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,133
Jenny-- you, Betty and Vi
should just go on home.
156
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,843
-Y'all don't need to see all this.
-No.
157
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,928
You always keep your fam at arm's length.
158
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,680
I am so excited to finally meet them.
159
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,015
Okay, who am I looking at here?
160
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,808
Well...
Uh, twin ladies
161
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,393
in the pickup truck
with all the fishing poles
162
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,895
are my cousins Deb and Jubel.
163
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,646
The lady with the crossbow is Aunt Donna.
164
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,149
And the girl riding beside her
on the cooler scooter
165
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,567
in the American flag bikini?
166
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:23,860
-Is that her daughter?
-No.
167
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,904
That's my Great-Aunt Caroline.
168
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,864
The younger one is your great-aunt?
169
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:28,948
They're country, Jenny.
170
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,825
No one is the age they're supposed to be.
171
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,536
Oh, and that guy
who looks like an old prospector
172
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,205
is my second cousin Dean.
173
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,748
-He's a prospector.
174
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,249
And that woman with the faraway look
175
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,542
is Aunt Faroway.
176
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,461
Is she in black and white?
177
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,879
Just go inside.
178
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,547
I'll make this whole thing go away.
179
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,300
No, we're gonna welcome them
with open arms.
180
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,469
Jenny, no. Do not.
I forbid you.
181
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,595
"Forbid"?
182
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,639
Oh, you just pushed a button.
183
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,975
Hey, Meemaw!
Everyone!
184
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,644
What do y'all want to eat and drink?
185
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,437
-Bad idea. Don't do this.
-Hey, Vi?
186
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,147
-Can you run up to the Quick Mart...
-Stop talking.
187
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,608
...and get some drinks and stuff
for our guests?
188
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,902
Okay, let me make sure
I have this right.
189
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,696
I've got four Dr. Mister Cherries,
190
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,406
a six-pack of Bulletproof Extremes,
191
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,076
ten Diet Klutz Regular
and ten Diet Klutz Chuggers,
192
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,662
a three-liter bottle of Mountain Inferno,
Professor Purple,
193
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,872
-Diet Professor Purple.
I don't know what this is,
194
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,541
but a snifter of Caffeine Avalanche,
195
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,834
Lemon Whack Bold
196
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,628
and the latest issue of American Fun Club?
197
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,547
Yep, sounds like everything.
198
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,048
Violet, would you be a darling
199
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,591
-and take Uncle Tommy with you?
200
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,844
Meemaw, no. You know what?
I'll just go.
201
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,762
-Violet cannot handle Uncle Tommy.
202
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:36,433
Excuse me?
Who watches Gram during her wine naps?
203
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,184
I think I can handle it.
204
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,353
No, you can't handle it.
205
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:43,523
And you just pushed a button.
206
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,525
Friggin' Hart women.
207
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,694
I can totally handle it.
Come on, Uncle Tommy!
208
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,531
-Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
209
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,700
Look at this boonie-ass mess.
210
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,952
Don't any of them have shoes?
211
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,454
Oh, Mother, stop being such a snob.
212
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,664
It's not like you grew up
in London, England.
213
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,499
I'm just saying you can trade up.
214
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,586
Go to an airport bar.
Sidle up to a pilot
215
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:08,089
or a brain surgeon or a jazz musician.
216
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,091
Who do you think is flying
through our tee-tiny airport?
217
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,427
Violet might be a turnoff,
218
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,554
but we can send her
to overnight summer school
219
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,890
-till you win him over.
-Hey, y'all want some peach wine?
220
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,350
No, thank you.
221
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:21,811
I got my seasonal box wine
that retails for $16.99.
222
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,521
-Thank you, though.
-Meemaw,
223
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:26,441
we would love to try your peach wine.
224
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,861
Well, normally I prefer
my fruit-flavored wines
225
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,156
in slush form,
but I'll have a thimble sip,
226
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,993
because that is what a woman
of polite society does.
227
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,287
Oh, brother.
Fill her up.
228
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,041
-Not bad.
229
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,126
Yes.
Very passable.
230
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,836
I'll have another snort.
231
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,213
Oh, now, careful, Betty.
232
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,923
That's stronger than normal wine.
233
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,343
It's technically considered
a Class I controlled substance.
234
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,429
I think I know how to handle myself.
235
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:59,140
Hoot 'n' Haw!
236
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,142
-Hoot 'n' Haw!
237
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,897
"You can't handle Tommy."
238
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,150
Ha.
Well, guess who is a-handling it?
239
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,820
-What the...?
240
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,989
No. No!
How the hell did he move so quickly?
241
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,324
Oh, of course.
242
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:17,617
The power of sugar.
243
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,993
Uncle Tommy!
244
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,204
Okay, think, Violet.
Think.
245
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,040
If you were a ten-year-old feral ADHD boy,
246
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,417
where would you hide?
247
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,459
Ha.
248
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,128
Nice try, Tommy Boy.
249
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,463
Aha!
I got you.
250
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,466
Okay.
That was not a dumb guess, though.
251
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,552
When I came home from work,
252
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,638
there he was,
cradling that strumpet's feet
253
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,223
-like they was a newborn baby.
254
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,600
That raisin-bodied sumbitch.
255
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,687
But I love him.
I still do.
256
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,612
Wayne, your grandmother
is crying her eyes out.
257
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,198
Or is she throwing up?
258
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,533
Either way, she's not doing good.
259
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,535
I think we need to go talk to Ned.
260
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:01,786
To try and get them to leave?
261
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,496
No, to be supportive, like family.
262
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,956
Where does Ned live?
263
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,043
Up where most
in Haw.
264
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,045
Wait.
Are you saying "Hall"?
265
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,671
H-A-W. Haw.
266
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:14,466
It's out off Highway 98, past Delk.
267
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:16,885
Wait, isn't that just... the woods?
268
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,387
Yes! And there's no way
I'm going back to Haw,
269
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,972
and neither are you.
270
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:22,766
Oh, you just pushed a button.
271
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:23,850
No!
272
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:39,449
Oh, this is cute.
273
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,785
"Don't go to Haw."
Baloney!
274
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,453
Haw is darling.
275
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,538
Aw, she looks nice.
276
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,042
Oh, look.
Got a sweet little church.
277
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,211
Oh, I love that architecture.
278
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,879
I've always said they don't
279
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,714
make enough square churches.
280
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,175
I'm gonna die in this hellhole!
281
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,762
Um, sorry to interrupt
your leather smithing...
282
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,263
uh, Ned?
283
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,808
Maybe.
Depends on who's asking.
284
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:08,228
And just know, I can have
a dozen dogs surrounding you
285
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,063
with just one whistle.
286
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,981
Uh, Jenny.
Jenny Hart.
287
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,567
Oh, hell.
Wayne's old lady?
288
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,069
Yeah.
Is that bad?
289
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,320
Everything's bad.
290
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,572
I miss my woman.
I'm upset.
291
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,366
And when I'm upset,
292
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,411
the only thing that calms my nerves
is leatherworking.
293
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,329
I'm making a duster.
294
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,622
You seen Meemaw?
295
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,666
She won't tell me where she is.
296
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,376
Well, yes.
She's on a little plot of land
297
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:32,669
that belongs to Wayne.
298
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,838
Wayne's known where she's been
this whole time?
299
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,881
That sumbitch!
300
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,633
He knew where Meemaw was
301
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:39,968
and did not tell me.
302
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,345
Therefore, he lied by omission.
303
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,931
And now we gotta duel.
304
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,934
I'm sorry, did you say "duel"?
305
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,936
Yes. Duel.
306
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,522
Out here, we live by the old ways.
307
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,691
But you're, like, ten minutes
away from an airport.
308
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:58,278
Tell your boy Wayne it's time to duel.
309
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,155
Duel...!
310
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,160
Uncle Tommy?
311
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,162
-Tommy?
312
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,663
-Uncle Tommy?
313
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,915
Tommy!
314
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,585
Come on, Violet,
you said you could handle it.
315
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,211
Now you have to handle it.
316
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,255
All I have to do is...
317
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:18,590
dig deeper...
318
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,217
and think like him.
319
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,273
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
320
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,649
Okay, okay.
321
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,902
-♪ ♪
-I see a bench. Kick.
322
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:39,986
Tree.
323
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,696
Kick.
324
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,323
Rock.
325
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,991
Hmm, what do I do?
Bite it? Sure!
326
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,035
Then what?
327
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,286
Throw.
Yes!
328
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:49,788
Where?
Car!
329
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,041
-Now I panic.
330
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:55,794
Ooh, I'm scared.
Good. Yes. I run into the woods.
331
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:58,129
I roll in crap for some natural camo.
332
00:13:59,214 --> 00:13:59,881
Yes, yes!
333
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,299
Zigzag run!
334
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,967
Spit! Kick!
335
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,886
Duck behind a tree.
336
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,766
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
337
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,439
Wayne! Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.
338
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,024
How do I put this?
339
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,443
-I talked to Ned.
-Jenny, what?
340
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,446
-You talked to Ned?
-Well, first of all,
I can go where I want.
341
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,489
And secondly, OMG, Ned is so funny.
342
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,699
At least I think he was being funny.
343
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,075
I hope he was being funny.
344
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,077
'Cause he challenged you to a duel,
and I was like,
345
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,454
"Huh, a duel? Come on, man."
And then he said, "Yeah, duel."
346
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,707
And he pulled out what
I'm pretty sure was a real live gun,
347
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,166
even though it was cartoonishly big.
348
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:38,169
But yep, he definitely said
the word "duel."
349
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,379
What?
350
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,048
So he's done that joke on you, too?
351
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,383
It's not a joke.
352
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,093
The Edwardses duel.
353
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,345
-We're duelers!
-What?!
354
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,764
Why do you think there's
ten women to every one man?
355
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,516
Well, I don't know,
356
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:53,768
I just assumed it was
heart disease or something.
357
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:57,105
No! 80% of our deaths are duel-based.
358
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,857
This isn't real.
Am I in a nightmare?
359
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,865
Wayne Edwards,
you have betrayed my trust.
360
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,701
Therefore, I hereby challenge you
361
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,953
-to a duel.
362
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,714
Okay, now I'm in the woods.
363
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,215
Where do I go?
What do I do?
364
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,801
A shiny hubcap!
What do I do with shiny things?
365
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:27,969
I bite them.
366
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,220
Ugh, it tastes bad.
367
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,806
I need water.
I drink the water.
368
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,183
It also tastes bad.
369
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,434
I spit it out.
370
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,687
I see a skunk staring straight at me.
Aah!
371
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,777
Hee-hee-hee...
372
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,779
Okay, I'm genuinely scared now.
373
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,824
Well, lookee who decided to show up.
374
00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,826
You all out of foot rubs, Ned?
375
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,536
I told you, woman,
376
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,206
that foot rub was not sexual in nature.
377
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,375
She was having a cramp.
378
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,460
Well, you could've fed her a banana,
379
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,087
you leathery old horndog.
380
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,923
Okay, well, I think it's time
to settle this the right way.
381
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:07,008
A healing, nice long chat sesh?
382
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,094
No!
A duel.
383
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,137
-Or, watch me.
384
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,556
Hey, look what I'm doing.
Whoo! Look at my feet!
385
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,600
Look at my crazy legs!
386
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,353
Jenny, I'm-a need you to step aside.
387
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,521
Mmm.
388
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,773
I, Wayne Edwards, of sound mind,
389
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:24,109
do hereby accept your challenge...
390
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:26,361
to duel.
391
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,405
Oh, my Lord, Mother, what have I done?
392
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,032
You got to talk to Meemaw.
We can't do this.
393
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,200
You're right.
394
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,452
I'll talk to her.
395
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:38,331
Are you as horned up as I am right now?
396
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,795
Hoot 'n' Haw!
397
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,131
Great.
Is this what you wanted, Jenny?
398
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:48,049
To get to know my family?
399
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,552
Well, this right here is what it is.
400
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,804
-My family.
Take your positions!
401
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:56,266
You have been called
to the field of honor.
402
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,685
-Excited in your no-no spot yet?
-No!
403
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,062
I mean, that is crazy.
I am not okay with this.
404
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,398
Oh, my God, he looks like
a walking Young Guns reboot.
405
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:05,025
No!
Jenny, don't!
406
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:06,109
One.
407
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,360
Two.
408
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,695
-Three.
-No!
409
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,836
Oh, my God, Wayne. Wayne, are you okay?
410
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,047
This is insane.
I want to tongue-kiss you. What?!
411
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,882
Wait. Why do you smell like Arby's?
412
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,467
I faked getting shot.
413
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,636
-It's the only way to get rid of Meemaw.
-What?
414
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,639
Because in front of God and everybody,
415
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,018
my dastardly plan
to tear y'all apart has been foiled.
416
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,812
Which means--
oh, God, I'm just now realizing this--
417
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,065
that you will now return to Haw.
418
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,817
And as much as it pains me to admit this,
419
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,195
that I accept that all my extended family
420
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,822
will follow you, rather than grace my...
421
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,575
property with your familial presence.
422
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,244
Well, what do you say, Sarah Fay?
423
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,330
Will you have me back?
424
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,415
I would say yes, but...
425
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:05,001
I smell a rat.
426
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,338
-Yep, this is Horsey Sauce.
427
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,964
You know what, Meemaw? It is.
428
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,050
'Cause all this is horse crap.
429
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,802
-Our dumb traditions,
430
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,470
our backwards, country-ass family,
431
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,889
our-our Hoot 'n' Haws,
432
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,475
all y'all barefoot,
peach wine-drinking squatters,
433
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,977
y'all are a country nightmare!
434
00:18:26,398 --> 00:18:28,817
Looks like someone did get shot today.
435
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,152
Me.
Right in the heart.
436
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,612
Let's go, everybody.
437
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:43,498
Ha!
438
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,381
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
439
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,092
Cousin Violet, you came looking for me.
440
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,386
People never look for me.
441
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,055
Probably 'cause no one knows
how to find you.
442
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,557
But you found me.
443
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,976
Yeah, well, I got skills.
444
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,902
Come on, let's get you home.
445
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:20,076
This is why I keep my family
at arm's length.
446
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,162
The more you see, the more you'll know
447
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,289
that I'm nothing but a country bumpkin,
448
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,167
and you're not gonna like it, and...
you're gonna leave me.
449
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,251
Wayne...
450
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,544
no.
451
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:34,382
I mean, even this skunk
doesn't want to waste his spray on me.
452
00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:37,969
Thanks, but I know you're just being nice.
453
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,347
Skunk, make yourself at home.
Everyone else has.
454
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,308
This is my life now, Jenny.
I'm the mayor of Skunktown.
455
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,185
Wayne, you've witnessed
my mother scam a toddler,
456
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,811
dine and dash at church potluck,
457
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,063
and backhand a Shriner.
458
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,856
But you love her and I love her,
459
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,858
'cause her crazy ass made me who I am.
460
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,985
Just like I love your crazy-ass family.
461
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:55,236
And you.
462
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,447
Exactly the way y'all are.
463
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,532
I love you, too.
464
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:01,576
Wait.
Where's Betty?
465
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,206
Meemaw, I got to tell you,
466
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:09,209
you did a hell of a job with Wayne.
467
00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:10,877
And don't ever tell him I said this,
468
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,962
but he's a good, good man.
469
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:16,132
You know, when he met Jenny,
I knew he'd found the one.
470
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:19,344
He said he met a girl,
but then he didn't bring her around,
471
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,721
and I would call and say,
472
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,139
"What happened, Wayne?
473
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,350
"You and this new girl
get abducted by a UFO,
474
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,976
like your Aunt Jubel?"
475
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,853
-I knew he was ashamed.
476
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:31,606
-Not ashamed.
-He's not. He really loves you.
477
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,400
Hey, let's just stop talking.
478
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:36,194
'Cause I know you want
to help me make these dumplings.
479
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,696
I do.
480
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,540
Give me a Hoot 'n' Haw!
481
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:49,958
Hoot 'n' Haw!
482
00:20:50,041 --> 00:20:53,253
Buck muted my Facebook posts
about how cell phone towers
483
00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:54,838
shrink your ding-a-ling,
484
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,632
so we got us a duel!
485
00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,467
Hoot 'n' Haw!
486
00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:07,183
After the Battle of Skunktown,
487
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,270
skunk and man learned
to coexist in relative harmony.
488
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,564
Local lore even contends
that an army general
489
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:14,399
married a skunk,
490
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:16,401
though it has never been proven.
491
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,403
Does that general look like Wayne?
492
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,697
-Yeah. He's got skunk blood.
-Meemaw!
493
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,533
A man and a skunk can't procreate.
494
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,410
Oh, hell yes, they can.
495
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:26,870
Tell me more!
496
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,872
I got some theories of my own.
497
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,915
I need to hear all of them.
498
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,920
499
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,007
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