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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,929 Eat kilowatts, you dumb bug. 2 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,931 Yes! Take that, you bloodsucker. 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,267 -Here you go, milady. -Aw. 4 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,601 Thank you, Wayne. 5 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,104 Don't you guys have an anniversary coming up? 6 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,689 Yep. Ten years. 7 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,899 Lord, has it been ten years? 8 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,944 Well, that makes sense, 'cause y'all do look a lot older. 9 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,904 Good news is I haven't changed a bit. 10 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,990 That's a whole decade. Wow. 11 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,533 What are you guys gonna do to celebrate? 12 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,452 Well, you know, we're both working so much. 13 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:38,204 Yeah, probably just go to the Great Sydney Steakhouse. 14 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,373 Come home. Ooh! Watch a crime show, maybe? 15 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,666 That sounds fun. 16 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,418 Be in bed by 9:00. Wow. 17 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:46,046 We really used to do it up on our anniversary, huh? 18 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:49,049 Now we're just watching bugs kamikaze to their deaths. 19 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,342 So you slowed down. 20 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,052 It's a natural part of the human condition. 21 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,220 Just sliding slowly into oblivion, 22 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,140 counting the days until you buy a walk-in bathtub, 23 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,309 all the while wondering where the fun went. 24 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,769 These bugs have it figured out. 25 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,645 They live a week and die in their prime. 26 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,939 You made the right choice, bug. 27 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,602 Dang, a top-of-the-line Wet Heaven Pro-Snorkel 28 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,479 Water-Based Relaxation System. 29 00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,773 I got to say, I'm a little jealous. 30 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:49,192 Hey, how close are you boys to being done? 31 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,529 Daddy needs his soak, or Daddy gets cranky. 32 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:54,906 N-No, I'm sorry. 33 00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:57,701 I-I was talking about my actual dad. 34 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,160 He's very unpleasant. 35 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:02,706 Well, we're almost done here. This thing's a real beauty. 36 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,249 Something wrong with this one? 37 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,459 Uh, no. She still purrs like a kitten. 38 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,461 But when you're living the Jacuzzi lifestyle, 39 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,297 you got to stay current, got to keep the party fresh. 40 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,258 Yeah, I could use a little party in my life. 41 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,260 We'll probably never have a Jacuzzi, though. 42 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:18,388 I see the way you're looking at my old girl. 43 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,516 How about you take her off my hands? No charge. 44 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,644 Are you kidding me? I can't even begin to thank you. 45 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,688 This can be Jenny's anniversary gift. 46 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,690 We've been told we're sliding into oblivion. 47 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:30,358 Yeah, I was like you once. 48 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,611 Feeling boxed in by the stifling cubicle some call life. 49 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,156 Wondering if there could be a better way, a chiller way. 50 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,491 Getting this 'cuzz changed everything. 51 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,702 Let me ask you something, Wayne. 52 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,538 -How old do you think I am? -I don't know, 50? 53 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,915 Wayne, I have no idea how old I am. 54 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,125 First I lost my watch, 55 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,293 then I lost my calendar. 56 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,794 I'm on island time now. 57 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,422 For all I know, I'm 15,000 years old. 58 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,423 Whoa. 59 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,799 But I got to warn you-- 60 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:57,010 the 'cuzz life is not for everyone. 61 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:59,554 Once your twig and berries hit that 104-degree water, 62 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,849 well, you're committing to a vacation that never stops. 63 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,018 Is that a threat? 'Cause that sounds like 64 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,436 the greatest threat in the world. 65 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,229 Daddy needs his soak! 66 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,439 Oh, Daddy. 67 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,192 Surprise anniversary present? 68 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,943 Ta-da! 69 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,987 Wayne, oh, my Lord. 70 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,155 A hot tub?! 71 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,032 How's that for fun and spontaneous? 72 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,701 Or should I say "spont-Wayne-eous"? 73 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,370 I just thought of that. 74 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,496 Did ya? 75 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,331 Well, I-I thought of it very recently. 76 00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,500 It wasn't just... right now. 77 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,293 I love this hot tub! 78 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,503 And I love you. 79 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:36,424 Ooh, look at that Martina McBride boho peasant blouse. 80 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,093 40% off. 81 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,804 I'm about to put you 100% on. 82 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,682 Oh, hell no. If it's on the flier, 83 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,392 it better be on the floor. 84 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,894 I need to speak with the manager. Julian! 85 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,815 God, I'd rather drown myself in a toilet. 86 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,900 Good morning, Betty! How can I help you? 87 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,610 I was told there would be ample stock 88 00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,153 of the Martina McBride peasant blouse, 89 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,656 and yet there are none to be found. 90 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,825 That's a bait and switch, which is a felony. 91 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,035 Ms. Hart, I am not a sorcerer. 92 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,413 I cannot simply make Martina McBride blouses 93 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,540 appear out of thin air. 94 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:09,999 You should've gotten here earlier. 95 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,584 Oh, BS, Julian. 96 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,504 I know there's a secret stash of the good stuff in the back. 97 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,965 -Ma'am, we do not... -Don't you "ma'am" me, Julian. 98 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,092 -Well, I will ma'am you, ma'am. -I know you know my name. You just said it. 99 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,594 -Yes, I do know your name, ma'am. Ma'am. -I eagerly await the day 100 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,805 -you get replaced by a self-scanner machine. -That won't happen, ma'am. 101 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:26,474 Ms. Hart! I will not have you coming in here 102 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,685 and insulting me on a weekly basis anymore. 103 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,896 I am hereby permanently banning you from Krull's. 104 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,191 No! 105 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,318 Lady, do not rag-doll us. 106 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,780 Do not Jean-Claude Van Damme us, either. 107 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:43,742 -Oof. 108 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,001 Mm. 109 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,378 These jets really know a waitress' bod. 110 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,838 I am in heaven. 111 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,467 Hot tub party! 112 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,552 Doug! Peter! I hope you don't mind. 113 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,012 They helped me put it in, so I told 'em 114 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,305 they can stop by anytime. 115 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,515 We brought some gettin' loose juice! 116 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,893 And a hat for the 'cuzz ship captain. 117 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,394 This is so cool. 118 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,896 I'm a hot tub captain. 119 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,315 I can legally marry anyone in this tub. 120 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,649 Marry me and Doug. 121 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,735 'Cause I want his lizards when he dies. 122 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:19,819 Hold on. 123 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,571 Wayne. 124 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:23,740 Jenny. 125 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,789 I love it. I love everything about it! 126 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,415 I love the jets. I love the moist heat. 127 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,583 I love the party atmosphere. 128 00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:34,667 I love your tiny shorts. 129 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,795 I love how open my sinuses are. 130 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,422 And I especially love that sexy-ass captain's hat. 131 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,341 There isn't a woman alive who can resist a man 132 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,550 in a captain's hat. 133 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,593 You idiots rock! 134 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,345 Take that, our former selves. 135 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:46,846 We're never getting old! 136 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,100 Of all the days to get banned, 137 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,686 why did it have to be right before the Founders Day sale? 138 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,605 There's just no way to sneak in there undetected. 139 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:56,731 Y'all, I might have to make a scene 140 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,650 -in my own home. 141 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,986 Shh. All we need to do is disguise you. 142 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,489 No. You can't hide this light under a bushel. 143 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,241 This is a powerful light. 144 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,701 You're in good hands, Gram. 145 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,536 David has a thing for costumes. 146 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,496 Let's just say my closet makes RuPaul's closet 147 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,164 look like Tim Allen's closet. 148 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,207 Let's get to work. 149 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,045 Chicken fight! 150 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,425 -Yeah! 151 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:27,303 Whirlpool! 152 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,388 -Whirlpool! 153 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,224 I am Jenny Hart, 154 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,435 and this is hot tub waterski! 155 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,318 Yes, we are, baby! 156 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,822 We need to build a new character from the ground up. 157 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,416 She's perfect. 158 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,251 Mm, not yet, she's not. 159 00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,587 The transformation can't just be on the outside. 160 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,964 You need to become this new character. 161 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,257 Ooh, let's role-play. 162 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,800 You're in Krull's 163 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,844 and the salesman says, "Excuse me, ma'am. 164 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,679 I'm afraid your coupon is expired." 165 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,515 I'd say, "Your life is about to be expired." 166 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,435 Then, after high-fiving myself, I find a beer bottle, 167 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,270 -break it on the counter... -Uh, Gram? 168 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,856 "Oh, heavens. 169 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,524 "I couldn't read the date. 170 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,401 My eyes just aren't what they used to be." 171 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,613 Then, once I got his defenses down, 172 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,865 I give him the old eyes, throat, crotch. 173 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,241 Then I look for a beer bottle, 174 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:31,910 -break it over... -Gram. 175 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,829 So I just say a bunch of nice bullcrap, and that's it? 176 00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,498 Do you want to get back into Krull's or not? 177 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,501 Let's try it again. 178 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,128 Your coupon is denied. 179 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,385 Well, that's quite all right, you sweet young man. 180 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,971 I'm happy to pay full price if those are the rules. 181 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,932 Betty Jean Hart, 182 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,101 that was perfect. 183 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,311 Betty Hart, who's that? 184 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,604 My name... 185 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,815 is Rhonda Witherspoon. 186 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:02,816 She's ready. 187 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,150 She's more than ready. 188 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,194 She's Rhonda. 189 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,791 Jenny, doesn't it feel good to let loose again? 190 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,126 Oh, my God, yes. 191 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,419 Now, what do you say 192 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,255 we take this party back to my room, Captain? 193 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,673 -Oh, yeah. 194 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,467 Uh, requesting permission to sexually dock. 195 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:30,969 Permission granted. 196 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,222 I'm gonna escort the captain back to his quarters and... 197 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,307 see if I can raise his anchor. 198 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:37,892 Oh, no, wait, that doesn't sound right. 199 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,688 I'm gonna put my hands around that big steering wheel and... 200 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:45,150 No, wait. I want to swab your poop deck. 201 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,152 Nope. I am not good at these. 202 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,404 I just want you to come to bed with me. 203 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,406 -I'm drunk, y'all! 204 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,304 ...so the guy at the Hot Tub Supply Store says, 205 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,930 "Here's your chlorine." 206 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,475 And I say, "Have you met my friends? 207 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,559 You better double it." 208 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,525 Wayne, the party's still going? 209 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,860 What happened last night? 210 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,695 I did all those sexy boat euphemisms, 211 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,238 and then you never came to bed. 212 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:33,573 Well, let me think. 213 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,200 I had the captain's hat, 214 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,868 and then Meemaw lost her belly button ring, 215 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,287 so we had to turn off the jets to find that. 216 00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:41,623 And then there was a conga line... 217 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,958 and then I couldn't find my captain's hat 218 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,419 and then I looked over and Doug had on my captain's hat... 219 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,088 Wayne, forget the captain's hat. 220 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,090 We can't handle a hot tub. 221 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,716 Oh, we can handle it. 222 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,468 It's giving us our spark back. 223 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,886 But there's no time for our spark 224 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,429 with all these people around. 225 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,723 We got people here I don't even know walking around. 226 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,475 Like, who is that lady? 227 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,476 No idea. 228 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,186 Ugh, I know it's our anniversary 229 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,021 and I can't believe I'm saying this, but... 230 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,107 I just want a boring dinner with you all to myself. 231 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,817 Can we do that? You and me? 232 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,402 Huge steak, way too much bread. 233 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,821 I'll even make the reservation. How's 7:30? 234 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:13,988 Aye aye, Captain. 235 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,074 Okay, well, I got to go to work. 236 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,076 Just try to hydrate today, okay? 237 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,369 Wait, who are all these people? 238 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,163 Oh, yeah, I met these guys at the quarry. 239 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,500 Hey, Captain, you got any old bread bags laying around? 240 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,961 We can't get our ankle monitors wet. 241 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,672 Yeah, I see what you mean. 242 00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:33,758 Look out, Krull's. 243 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,511 Here comes Rhonda Witherspoon. 244 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,097 David, no. 245 00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,474 This little bird needs to fly on her own. 246 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,439 Don't try to weasel out of this, Julian. 247 00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,607 A flier is a contract. 248 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,736 Ma'am, only children's clothes are half off today. 249 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,697 Now, I don't have my glasses on, but as far as I can tell, 250 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,282 those are clearly full-grown men. 251 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,200 Who are my children. 252 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,703 So by definition, their clothes should be on sale! 253 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:07,000 My stars! Now, we all know that "children" 254 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:11,921 is referring to an age and not a relationship to the mother. 255 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,425 Honey, do not transfer the pain that is going on in your life 256 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:19,929 to this angel of a man, who is clearly doing his best. 257 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,432 -Ugh. 258 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:27,187 Well, aren't you an absolute breath of fresh air? 259 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,690 I'm Julian. You look very familiar. 260 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:33,109 Have we crossed paths before? 261 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:38,114 Well, I don't see how. The name's Rhonda Witherspoon. 262 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,992 Just moved here from Nashville, Music City. 263 00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:44,079 Well, welcome to Greenpoint. What can I help you with today? 264 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:47,332 I'm attending a Save the Earth fundraiser, 265 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,209 and I was hoping to wear... 266 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:52,545 The... Martina McBride boho peasant blouse? 267 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,965 -How did you know? -It's my job to know. 268 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,093 I have one in the back. Follow me. 269 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,720 Oh, bless your sweet heart! 270 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:01,971 Freakin' knew it. 271 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,687 Looks like a dingo ate your boyfriend. 272 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,980 -What? -It's just a joke I do 273 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,607 when people are being stood up. 274 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,984 -Lightens the mood. -I'm not being stood up. 275 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,487 Can I get you a Blossoming Onion? 276 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,822 Single portion, hon? 277 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,282 No, I will take two Blossoming Onions, 278 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:23,410 because my boyfriend definitely will be here. 279 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,413 Fair dinkam, y'all. I mean "mite." 280 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,249 Please don't tell my manager I broke character. 281 00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:44,931 First I lost my watch. Then I lost my calendar. 282 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,938 I'm on island time now. 283 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,474 Well, it really has been such a pleasure meeting you, Rhonda. 284 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,518 Oh, the pleasure was all mine! 285 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,523 Rhonda, would you like to come to my house for dinner? 286 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:38,276 Oh, Julian! 287 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,378 Well, I guess I should be going. 288 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,713 It's getting so late. Isn't it, you little angel? 289 00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:02,342 She is just a little angel, yes, she is! 290 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,636 Okay, let's get you to bed. 291 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,554 So nice to meet you, Rhonda. 292 00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:08,682 The pleasure was all mine. 293 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,017 Okay, well, I guess I'm off. 294 00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:12,310 Rhonda, Rhonda, listen. 295 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:14,521 Can I tell you something? 296 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:17,148 Ever since I met you, you've shown me 297 00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,859 that it is not a weakness to be kind. 298 00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:23,697 -Oh. No, Julian, don't... -No, no, no. Let me finish. 299 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,116 Would you like to come with me 300 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,619 to the special Krull's friends and family event tomorrow? 301 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:33,039 It's a secret sale. Not open to the public. 302 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,542 Usually everybody takes their mom or aunt or something, 303 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,837 but I've never had anyone I felt I could bring before. 304 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,422 Until now. 305 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,007 I don't know what to say, Julian. 306 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,883 Well, just say yes. 307 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,343 Yes! 308 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,476 Hey! Wayne's here! -He made it! 309 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,354 A red Wayne and a white Wayne spritzah! 310 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,358 You know what? Your accent is stupid! 311 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,157 ♪ Well, I'm a hot tub daddy ♪ 312 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,492 ♪ Have you heard the news? ♪ 313 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,703 ♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪ 314 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,621 ♪ The king of the 'cuzz ♪ 315 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,291 Thanks, number hula girls! 316 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,584 Take it away, snakeheads! 317 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,086 ♪ Well, he's a hot tub daddy ♪ 318 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,756 ♪ Have you heard the news? ♪ 319 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,050 ♪ Captain of the bubbles ♪ 320 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,052 ♪ King of the cu... ♪ Uh-oh. 321 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,054 ♪ I'm a hot tub... ♪ 322 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,221 Oh, no. 323 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,182 Oh, God, Jenny! 324 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,893 I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. 325 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,895 I lost track of time. 326 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,690 Oh, you going to the tiki bar? 327 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,567 Yeah, have a drink. That's fun. 328 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,111 Oh, just gonna just chug it straight from the bottle? 329 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,488 Okay. 330 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,156 Oh. Gonna join us? 331 00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,741 Good sign. 332 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,079 Oh. Getting in the tub with all your clothes on. 333 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,956 Doing a fun squat? 334 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,127 Oh, Lord, she's peeing. 335 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,545 -Everybody out. 336 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,548 I'm actually fine with this. 337 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:11,554 Come on, Jenny. 338 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,932 I'm so sorry. So crazy. 339 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,518 I don't know what happened to me, but I am so sorry. 340 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,269 Please, let me make it up to you. 341 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,896 I know I messed up, 342 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,190 but who pees in a hot tub full of people? Come on. 343 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:26,236 Well, you peed on our relationship. 344 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,072 You don't think that's a little fancy 345 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,907 for a sale at a chain retail store? 346 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,076 Oh, this isn't just a sale. 347 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,579 It's the friends and family event. 348 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,498 I just have to look perfect, 349 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,625 'cause it's gonna be a real fancy to-do. 350 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,544 Cheeses you never heard of. 351 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,713 Kobe beef sliders. 352 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:48,049 I'm thinking a multitiered champagne fountain. 353 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,051 I highly doubt Krull's 354 00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,762 would have a multitiered champagne fountain. 355 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,996 Rhonda! 356 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,665 You look absolutely stunning. 357 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:23,585 Everybody, please give a warm welcome 358 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,795 to my dear, dear friend, 359 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,547 Rhonda Witherspoon. 360 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:31,384 -Yes, he's... -Now, without further ado, 361 00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,761 I present to you... 362 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,847 all of the sizes we said we were out of! 363 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,016 Welcome to all the designer names 364 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:40,977 Joanna Gaines, 365 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,312 Bethenny Frankel, 366 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,647 leather shoulderless blouses by Bonnie Raitt, 367 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,649 scarves by Johnny Galecki. 368 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,401 What's this I'm feeling? 369 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,070 It's not guilt, is it? 370 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,988 No, it's... it's got to be 371 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,448 all those crab-stuffed mushrooms I ate. 372 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:56,034 No. It's guilt. Damn you, Julian! 373 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,536 Why'd you have to show me your cute-ass family? 374 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,789 Don't forget what a turd he was to Betty. 375 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,207 But Betty was a turd, too. 376 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,709 Oh, would you just get out of my head, Rhonda! 377 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,586 -Rhonda, I have a little surprise for you. 378 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:09,339 Oh, I don't deserve a surprise, do I? 379 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:15,345 The Martina McBride boho skirt that matches 380 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,513 the peasant blouse?! 381 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,265 I thought they were discontinued. 382 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,518 Well, not for you, they're not. 383 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,937 Oh, uh, I don't know. 384 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,398 What is wrong with you? Try it on. 385 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,233 -Maybe I should just go. -What? 386 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,442 Don't be ridiculous. 387 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:30,777 Uh, um... 388 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,618 Betty Hart? 389 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,370 I'm sorry, Julian. 390 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,176 So, you finally discovered 391 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,095 the dark side of the bubbly oasis. 392 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,389 -What? -As soon as you got the tub, 393 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,599 the crowds starting coming. Cheering you on? 394 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,435 Making you feel like the king of the party? 395 00:19:03,518 --> 00:19:06,479 Yep. I was trying to recapture my youth 396 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,773 and ride that wave forever. 397 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:11,609 Son, hot tub friendships are flightier than a flock of gulls 398 00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:13,361 looking for a bread crumb on a boardwalk. 399 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:16,031 If you're not careful, you'll lose it all chasing that high. 400 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:17,824 And soon you'll be an empty shell of a man 401 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,452 with no real friends, three ex-wives that hate your guts 402 00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,912 and a mean dad who lives in your attic. 403 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,665 Well, those details seem awfully specific to you, 404 00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:27,000 but I get what you're saying. 405 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,251 Well, it's too late 406 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,045 for me now, but there's still time for you. 407 00:19:30,128 --> 00:19:32,130 Stay steamy, friend. 408 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,092 You're probably not gonna eat that, right? 409 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,178 No. Go ahead. 410 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,230 Betty Hart. About to rub it in my face 411 00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,316 how you made me look like a fool. 412 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,693 No. I came to say I'm sorry. 413 00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:55,487 When I started this, I was doing it 414 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:57,155 to get back at you for banning me. 415 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,616 But being Rhonda Witherspoon with you 416 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,411 has made me a better woman. 417 00:20:03,495 --> 00:20:05,330 I started out wanting to trick you, 418 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,332 but you ended up tricking me 419 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,501 into being a better person 420 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:12,504 and a good friend. 421 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,886 Well, what are you waiting for? 422 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,138 Really? I'm unbanned? 423 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,641 Only after I see you in that outfit. 424 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,101 Which one? 425 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,520 The Martina McBride, you knickknack. 426 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,271 Oh, it was way too big. 427 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:31,898 What? No. 428 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,525 I swear. It swallowed me whole. 429 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,072 -You sold it? -I had to. 430 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,323 I'm sorry, Wayne. 431 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,908 Me, too. But I didn't like 432 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,410 what that hot tub turned me into. 433 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:44,994 But it just felt so good 434 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,038 having so many people want to be around me. 435 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:48,873 But, Wayne, that wasn't about the tub. 436 00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:50,417 People always want to be around you, 437 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,502 'cause you're Wayne freakin' Edwards. 438 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,630 I mean, you are so sweet and funny and fun, and... 439 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,382 you're still the captain. 440 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,259 Captain of my heart. 441 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,932 Happy anniversary, Jenny. 442 00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:07,517 Happy anniversary, Wayne. 443 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,602 Hey, who ended up taking our tub? 444 00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:11,604 Yeah, I donated it to a senior center. 445 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:14,315 Aw. So sweet. 446 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,820 Hallelujah. 447 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,613 Nancy, put your top on. 448 00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,615 Nancy, put your bottoms on. 449 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,159 Wait a minute. 450 00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:25,744 Do I smell marijuana? 451 00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:28,038 Jesse! Where did you two get that tequila? 452 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,998 Get that blender out of the tub. 453 00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:31,666 Uh-oh, Monty's having a heart attack. 454 00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:33,918 Get that blender back in the tub! 455 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,920 456 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,007 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 33139

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