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1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,757
What's going on with y'all this weekend?
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,801
I heard Brenda on the phone,
3
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:13,346
ordering a party bus
and a dirty cantaloupe centerpiece
4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,973
from Edible Arrangements.
5
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,475
Edible Derangements.
6
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,060
It's like an erotic knockoff.
Probably not gonna
7
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,478
stand up in court.
Anyway,
8
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,147
Brenda is throwing a bachelorette party
9
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,481
for her cousin Brenda.
10
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,025
Not just a bachelorette party.
11
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,402
The throwdown to end all throwdowns,
12
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:29,112
starring the whole Brenda clan.
13
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,822
We got a party bus, drunk tubing,
14
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,741
and as many male strippers
as you can legally have
15
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,201
before you got to call it a nudist colony.
16
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,705
Ooh, now, Jenny, just be careful.
17
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,415
Last time one of the Brendas had
18
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:43,460
a bachelorette party, this one
19
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,003
went missing for five days.
20
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,297
And this one--
21
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,508
meaning you, Jenny--
got bit by a police horse.
22
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,135
Yeah, it was awful.
23
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,803
You know what, Brenda?
24
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,972
I-I think I got to sit this one out.
25
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,724
Good for you, Jenny.
26
00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,726
You keep this up, soon you'll be having
27
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,895
just as much fun as me.
28
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:05,023
Okay, off to my dead husband's grave.
29
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,858
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
30
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,276
What the hell are you going?
31
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,861
I'm pouring out some weak sauce
32
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,404
to honor my best friend,
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00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,032
who died of Can't Hang Disease.
34
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,576
Oh, come on, Brenda.
I-I can't party like I used to.
35
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:19,120
-I'm a mom now.
36
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:22,248
-There's my little hellraiser.
37
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,949
Jenny, shouldn't you be packing?
38
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:58,034
Oh, for the Brenda Bachelorette?
39
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,577
Yeah, I don't know.
40
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,538
I don't know if I want to go
to an all-weekend party.
41
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,790
I mean, it's not that I can't hang.
I was just planning
42
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,500
on organizing my closet this weekend.
43
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,252
Jenny, just go.
44
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,712
You can be a responsible adult
45
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,171
and still have fun every once in a while.
46
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,549
When's the last time
you really blew it out?
47
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,051
Yeah, go party, Miss Martyr.
I can watch Violet.
48
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,636
There's a covered dish tonight at church.
49
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,555
Violet can be my arm candy.
50
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,015
Sorry, but there's no way
51
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,558
that I'm going to another church potluck.
52
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,601
If I see green Jell-O
with marshmallows in it,
53
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,562
I will never stop screaming.
54
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,689
Violet, you don't have to
get within six feet of Jell-O.
55
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,649
We can hang out this weekend, you and me.
56
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,819
-Wait, really?
-Yep, a father-daughter weekend.
57
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,280
Sorry, common-law stepfather.
58
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,449
Ah, nope. Wayne-Violet weekend.
59
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,242
No father anywhere near that.
60
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,828
Wayne, you're gonna have to be
more like a father than a buddy.
61
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,292
Come on, Jenny!
Jump through the ring of fire, girl!
62
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,587
-Go! I got this.
-Mom, just go.
63
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:54,424
-Oh, you're sure?
64
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:57,052
-Oh, my Lord, just go.
-Okay, you talked me into it.
65
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,636
Don't eat a bunch of trash
and stay up too late.
66
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,138
And lock all the doors.
And drink all the milk
67
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,473
before it expires.
68
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,311
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
69
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,813
♪ Oh, yeah, one, two, three, four... ♪
70
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,991
I cannot for the life of me understand
71
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,827
why my potato salad is still untouched.
72
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,747
People are passing it up just to spite me.
73
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,041
Bobbie Nell, your potato salad is always
74
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,667
covered in cigarette ashes.
75
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:33,380
Uh-oh! Looks like we got a Bud situation.
76
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,090
Never comes to service.
77
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,217
He only worships
at the altar of free food.
78
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,886
He pounded all the ham biscuits
79
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:41,805
and laid waste to the ambrosia.
80
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,641
Oh, and now he's moved on to my chicken?
81
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,186
Eating it up before any actual
children of God can get a taste?
82
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,938
This stops now.
83
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,065
Well, well, well,
84
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,401
if it isn't Bud Bullard.
85
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,820
All right now, Betty.
If it wasn't for my strip club,
86
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,739
no one would even feel guilty enough
to come here on Sunday.
87
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,786
Plus, your thighs are my favorite.
88
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,956
You are gross.
Manhandling my breasts, as well.
89
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,209
Welp, back to reveling
in the Lord's bounty.
90
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,336
This stops now.
91
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:17,257
I got to get this blasphemous pig
out of the Lord's trough.
92
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,718
-Go for Bud.
93
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:20,969
Bud, where you at?
94
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,805
I just pulled into your club,
and it's on fire!
95
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,598
-What?!
-I said
96
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,642
your filthy strip club is on fire.
97
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:29,728
Oh, no!
My club! My girls!
98
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,688
Hup...
Oh, gaw! Oh, my heart!
99
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,648
Here it comes.
Oh, this ain't good.
100
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:34,983
Uh-oh.
101
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:38,069
Don't you quit on me, heart! Oh!
102
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,072
I'm gonna take one more bite of this...
Nope, bad idea.
103
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,575
Ooh.
Overshot it.
104
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,954
Okay, we've got French bread, pizzas,
105
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,123
popcorn and fixings for s'mores.
106
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,333
I was thinking
we could have a movie night,
107
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,794
-then an indoor campout.
108
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,839
Um, sure.
109
00:04:57,922 --> 00:04:59,799
I think people are really
loving our shirts.
110
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,092
They're so jealous.
111
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,094
Okay, so since I put on your fun T-shirt,
112
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,221
can we do something I want to do now?
113
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,806
Like, can we buy these fedoras
114
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,600
and go over to the Mega Joe Mart Café
115
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,310
and take our pictures as we sip espressos
116
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,853
and pretend we're in Paris?
117
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,356
One million percent yes on the fedoras,
118
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,191
but I'm pretty sure
your mom doesn't like you
119
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,984
to have caffeine-- let me check.
120
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,487
No, Wayne. You don't need to call Mom!
121
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,407
Hey, don't splash me!
122
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,035
Jenny Hart speaking here.
123
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,787
Hey, Jenny.
Violet's fine.
124
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,456
-Uh, I just wanted to ask...
-Catch!
125
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,460
Oh!
-My cooter bone!
126
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,921
Wait, sorry, Wayne.
Say that again?
127
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:41,049
I just wanted to check,
is Violet allowed to have espresso?
128
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,010
Oh, right.
Okay, here are the caffeine rules...
129
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,346
Jenny, come on!
130
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,931
You're talking about rules?
131
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:51,017
Like some Jenny narc-ass lifeguard?
132
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,519
Lame.
133
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,855
Wayne, there are no rules this weekend!
134
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,357
Except for the important ones.
135
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,067
Which you know which is which.
136
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,779
The only rules this weekend
are people that rule!
137
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:04,364
Use your best judgment.
138
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,783
We're both using
our best judgment this weekend.
139
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,286
-I'm covered in snakes!
140
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,330
So, what did she say?
141
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,417
Um, she said I should decide for myself.
142
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,836
Okay, well, what do you say?
143
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,921
All right, let me think it through.
144
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:20,880
Huh?
145
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,009
Sorry, Vi, you can't
have that coffee drink.
146
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,219
"Okay, Wayne,
I'll look for a different kind of high.
147
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,304
Drugs. Alcohol.
Whipped cream cans."
148
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,515
Vi, you're drunk.
You got to get clean.
149
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,433
"Then I'm running away."
150
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,059
Berlin.
Discotheques.
151
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,269
"Yeah, Fräulein,
152
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,645
you really want to party?"
153
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,647
Wake up.
Bathtub full of ice.
154
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,314
Kidneys gone.
155
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,524
Nein!
156
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,609
Jenny, I'm sorry!
157
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,903
Okay.
Two espressos.
158
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,114
I wrote a screenplay, Wayne.
I wrote a screenplay.
159
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,657
It's 230 pages, Wayne.
160
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,161
It all takes place in the basket
of a hot-air balloon, Wayne.
161
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,163
-What are you waiting for?
Take my picture. Take it!
162
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,539
Take it, take it, take it!
Take it now.
163
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,710
Holy!
164
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,295
Okay, giving you the credit card
165
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,379
was probably a mistake.
166
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,715
Was it?
167
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,383
Yeah!
Look at this.
168
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,809
Poor dumb baby.
What did I do to you?
169
00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:18,063
Just came to check on you,
'cause-'cause I feel guil...
170
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,398
guil... guilty.
171
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,236
Oh, look at you,
laying there so vulnerable
172
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,072
in the moonlight glow.
173
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,158
Layin' down, your stomach
flattens out a little bit.
174
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:34,579
I get a glimpse of the potent,
virile man you once were.
175
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:35,747
Betty, stop it.
176
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,332
What are these thoughts you're having?
177
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,085
Do not let your guilt
get you all horned-up.
178
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,045
Betty?
Is that Betty Hart?
179
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,673
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Save your strength.
180
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,007
I'll be honest, I didn't know
181
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:47,926
if anyone would turn out to visit me.
182
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,262
I'm used to people crossing the street
to avoid this old perv.
183
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,014
Bud, you know what,
184
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,433
when you aren't slobbering
all over young boobies,
185
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,143
you're actually kind of sweet.
186
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,729
Betty, what time is it?
187
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,731
-6:30.
-Mm.
188
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,317
What was that for?
189
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:07,320
I promised myself
if you ever gave me the time of day,
190
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,739
I'd kiss you like there's no tomorrow.
191
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,325
Oh, lookee there.
192
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:16,329
The clock just struck 6:31.
193
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,670
Did you know that all matter
is merely energy
194
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,088
condensed to a slow vibration
195
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,007
and we are all one consciousness
196
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,967
experiencing itself subjectively?
197
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,802
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Let's go see a movie.
198
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,221
Oh, Vi, I-I don't know.
It's so late.
199
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,848
Let's maybe let your mom weigh in on this.
200
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:35,974
Wayne, no...
201
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,688
You sure that's the horse
202
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,189
-that bit ya?
203
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,775
Brenda, you don't forget
the sumbitch police horse
204
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,611
who bit you
at a bachelorette party in 2012!
205
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,114
Well, what are you gonna do about it,
206
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,283
write your congressman?
207
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,495
-Taste teeth, pig horse!
208
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:58,538
-Attagirl.
209
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,207
Hey!
210
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,792
She's not picking up.
211
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,377
Because she so completely trusts you
212
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,879
to do the right thing, Wayne.
Didn't you hear her say that?
213
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:06,880
I heard her say that.
214
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,173
Yeah, but I don't know...
215
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,592
Okay.
Bye-bye to the best weekend of my life.
216
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,218
Guess this Hang Zone shirt
217
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,596
isn't worth the poly-cotton
blend it's printed on.
218
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,182
No, you're right.
219
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,100
This is the Hang Zone!
220
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,061
Grab those
melted-into-a-blob Twizzlers out
221
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,062
of the glove compartment.
222
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,563
We're going to the dang movies!
223
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:24,647
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
224
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,465
Wayne, I want a nose ring!
225
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,967
Violet, no.
Absolutely n...
226
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,055
-Hang Zone!
227
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,431
Hang Zone.
228
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,602
Hello?
229
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:05,021
Could you shine that spotlight
down a hair?
230
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:11,069
-What the?
-All jump for the Honorable
Judge David Lee Roth.
231
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,988
As the bailiff, I will be translating,
232
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:17,200
as Judge DLR only speaks in "whoas"
233
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,536
and "bozy-bozy-bob-ditty-bops."
234
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,870
Wow!
235
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:21,996
Oh, man.
236
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,456
DLR's a judge?
237
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,544
Ow!
238
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,878
Yes.
239
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,630
Bad dad!
240
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,632
Negligence!
241
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,467
Ditty-bop!
Whoa!
242
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,886
Witness.
Ow!
243
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,222
You're on trial for gross negligence
244
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,516
and for being a piss-poor father.
245
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,852
Who's our first witness?
246
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,396
Violet!
247
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,605
State your name.
248
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,858
Whoa!
Aah!
249
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,568
I was once known as Violet Hart.
250
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,320
But now I'm Violence Hate.
251
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,573
I live on the fringe between the cracks,
252
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,992
in the seedy underbelly of...
253
00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,870
What made you this way,
little ditty-bop?
254
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:04,789
He did. I used to think
255
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,709
laws, family, Bea Arthur's musical number
256
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,711
in The Star Wars Holiday Special.
257
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,131
Then Wayne taught me
anything can be defiled,
258
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,716
even the nose on your face.
259
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,634
Thank you, Wayne, for teaching me
260
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,888
the real unsightly hole... is society!
261
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,181
Violet, no!
262
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,058
Hi, guys.
I'm home.
263
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,852
My baby!
264
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:30,231
Wayne, how could you
let... this... happen?
265
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,359
-♪ I-I-I-I-I-I ♪
266
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:37,280
♪ I declare you guilty ♪
267
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,657
♪ So guilty, so guilty! ♪
268
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,285
-Wayne Edwards, you're guilty.
269
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,792
Judge DLR wants to know what you are doing
270
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,293
after the trial, honey.
271
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,213
Visiting your chambers.
272
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,801
Wow!
273
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,261
I deserve this!
274
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:01,554
Aah! Violet.
275
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,724
Violet, you got to take that thing out.
276
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:07,060
Your mom's gonna kill us both, and then
277
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,062
she's gonna dig me up and kill me again.
278
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,730
It's fine, it's fun.
She's gonna love it.
279
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,649
-How do you work this thing?
-There's a switch on the back.
280
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,484
Nah. No!
What am I doing?
281
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,654
♪ Let's give 'em something to talk about ♪
282
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,240
Just hide that thing
until we figure out what to do.
283
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:24,661
♪ How about love, love, love? ♪
284
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,164
You got a piercing, didn't you?
285
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,959
-How did you know?
-Y'all were giving off panic pheromones
286
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,585
from a mile away.
287
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,421
Now Vi's got her head in the fridge?
288
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,173
Either you're trying to get to Narnia
via the Frigidaire,
289
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,300
or you got something on your face.
290
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,220
And by the timb-ray of your voice,
I'm guessing nose ring.
291
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,930
-Nope, you're wrong about that,
292
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:46,141
'cause I'm just huffing whipped cream.
293
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,476
Don't you try to Miss Doubtfire me.
294
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,729
I invented that move.
295
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,731
-Ugh.
-Betty, real quick.
296
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,150
Can you get Jenny to get Violet
to take out her nose ring
297
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,277
without realizing that
Violet even has a nose ring,
298
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,279
or that I let her get it?
Please?
299
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:01,740
I can't right now!
I'm freakin' out in love!
300
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:04,159
-So? What's new?
-It's all new.
301
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,244
He's completely wrong for me.
302
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,996
Wrong time, wrong man.
303
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,457
But apparently,
all these wrongs are adding up
304
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,001
to something that is oh, so right.
305
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,587
Now I got to go splash
some Jean Naté on my fun zones
306
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,590
-'cause everything's moving
at lightning speed.
-Oh!
307
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,093
Ding-dong.
308
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:25,764
Nurse Betty's here
to give you your tongue bath.
309
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,099
There she is, the original hottie.
310
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,726
Betty, meet Tampa and Emoji.
311
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,853
They're gonna take me home.
I'm getting released.
312
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,646
-Hey!
-Hey!
313
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,775
Okay, ring, ring.
It's recess.
314
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,318
All you school kids get on out of here.
315
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,862
Nurse Betty will take it from here.
316
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,364
Okay, feel better, Bud!
317
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,823
You two have fun.
318
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,535
How you doing, Bud?
319
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,162
Ah, they got me eating egg whites
320
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,122
and salt-free chicken soup.
321
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,541
It's all the worst foods
without their best part.
322
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,668
Sure makes me miss your fried chicken.
323
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,879
And I missed your Polish sausage.
324
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,840
Oh, Betty, you are so gross.
325
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,759
So are you, Bud.
326
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,471
But together, we make something beautiful.
327
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,139
You know, it's the craziest thing.
328
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,599
I still can't remember what happened
329
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,267
right before my heart attacked.
330
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,936
I was making a plate, and then...
331
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,647
Wait a minute.
Did I get a phone call?
332
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:19,818
I don't know, but you're
about to get a bone call.
333
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,570
Looks like I finally got
the medicine I needed.
334
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,533
Ten cc's of Smoochacil coming right up.
335
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,287
Uh-uh.
336
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,666
Hmm?
337
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,218
-You saw how fast Betty Hart
figured out what we did.
338
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,470
I guarantee you
Jenny Hart is not far behind.
339
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,724
She's probably having a phantom pain
in her nostril as we speak.
340
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,309
Wayne, you made a decision.
341
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,478
And it was the right decision
because now I love you.
342
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,522
Oh, my God, I hate being in charge.
343
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,524
I'll text Jenny and tell her
how great everything's going
344
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:00,817
to buy us some time.
345
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,152
"Dear Jenny..."
346
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,653
-Ah, shoot! I hit FaceTime!
347
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,822
-Just hang up.
-Oh, I can't.
348
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,323
She'll think something's up.
Cover your face!
349
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:14,497
Crap!
Wayne wants to FaceTime.
350
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,126
I'm on my way home.
We're getting the check.
351
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,669
Everything's fine on our end, too.
352
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,838
Don't you worry.
Just stay and have fun.
353
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:26,051
Violet's just drinking coffee,
or... juice out of a mug.
354
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,386
Which is how she likes it.
Isn't that right?
355
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,055
Yeah.
Orange juice-y.
356
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,057
Great.
I'm sober and my eyes are open.
357
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,145
Whoa!
Bad connection, I guess. Bye.
358
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,693
I'm proud of you, Bud.
359
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,738
Following doctor's orders,
eating all healthy.
360
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,698
I'll tell you, it is weird to be attracted
361
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,325
to someone I do not employ.
362
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:54,662
Oh, look who got that wrap dress I wanted.
363
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,749
I would have purchased it,
but someone called me
364
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:01,044
when I was at checkout
and said my house was on fire.
365
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,587
Ha.
Well, it was nice seeing you.
366
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:06,091
It's Betty's go-to move, you know.
367
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,842
What?!
368
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,011
Your filthy strip club is on fire!
369
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,807
Oh, no, no, no.
I-I remember it now.
370
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,434
That call I got right before
my heart attacked--
371
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:19,229
-that was you!
I can explain.
372
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,647
That's why you're-you're here with me?
373
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,065
'Cause you feel guilty?
374
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,318
No!
I-I... I mean, at first, maybe I did.
375
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,987
But then I fell for you, Bud, for real.
376
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,740
Oh, I don't care about stuff like this.
377
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,659
I'm a pervert and that's all I am.
378
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,621
-Oops.
379
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,374
-Bud, wait!
-Wait! You haven't paid!
380
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,793
Your manager just told me
that your house is on fire.
381
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,753
Oh, no!
382
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,094
I'm home! Hope you guys
didn't get into any trouble,
383
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,846
'cause I sure didn't.
Ha.
384
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,515
That wasn't... anything.
385
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:58,143
Well, our weekend was great, too.
386
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,937
So fun and just good clean,
responsible fun.
387
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,522
Oh, I did go kind of crazy
388
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,399
and get all these piercings.
389
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,152
Is that the craziest thing
you've ever seen in your life?
390
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,612
Ha-ha, yup!
There's no topping this one.
391
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:10,739
Oh, and Violet pierced her nose.
392
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,867
Anyway, maybe I'll regret it,
maybe I won't.
393
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,661
Just life. That's all.
Life decisions.
394
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,705
Okay. Geez.
395
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,665
Wow. Well,
396
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,584
I'm gonna go lay down for 8,000 hours.
397
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:27,839
Oh, my God, did that actually...?
398
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:30,967
-Violet, did you pierce
your freaking nose?!
399
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,927
And, Wayne, did you glue
some fishing tackle
400
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:34,721
and hairpins on your face
to try and distract me?
401
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,723
Jenny, you don't understand.
402
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,184
We were in the Hang Zone Extreme Zone.
403
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,935
A nose ring?!
You know what, Wayne?
404
00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:42,812
These aren't your decisions to make.
405
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,606
Lucky you, you-you get to swoop in here
406
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:46,941
and do the fun stuff
'cause you're not her dad.
407
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,986
I'll take care of this.
408
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,614
You just go hang out
in the Fun Zone or whatever.
409
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,616
And I'm gonna need my bob pins back!
410
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,578
Here's what's happening.
411
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,163
Violet, you're grounded till you're 38.
412
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,748
Now get your bedazzled little honker
413
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,876
in your room until I say you can come out.
Now!
414
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,004
All right, give it to me, too.
415
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,090
I deserve it.
Read me the riot act.
416
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,008
No, you are not gonna get me
to not lay into you
417
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,968
by playing like you want me
to lay into you.
418
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,345
-What?
-I don't know.
419
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,971
I can't even look at you right now.
420
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,640
I'm so frustrated and hungover.
421
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,268
Just never make a decision
about Violet ever again.
422
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:33,154
Stop the music!
423
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,323
-Shame on you, Betty Hart.
424
00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:37,158
Playing with a man's emotions like that.
425
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:40,495
And not even for money.
You're disgusting!
426
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,580
He's a mess, thanks to you.
427
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:44,165
Girls, what happened to the music?
428
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,334
Oh. Hello, Betty.
429
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:49,295
-Can we talk?
-Hmm. Hmm.
430
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,134
Bud, it's true.
431
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,012
I did make that call
saying your club was ablaze.
432
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,639
-But I'm not gonna say I'm sorry.
-Uh, what?
433
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:01,725
'Cause it brought me into your life.
434
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:07,147
Aw, Betty, you broke my heart,
and that's how I know it's real.
435
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:10,567
I promise to never break your heart again.
436
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,735
Get in here.
437
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,197
Mmm.
Oh, Betty, yeah.
438
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:17,866
Mmm, mmm.
Oh, Bet...
439
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,617
Oh. Oh, God!
My heart!
440
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,287
Emoji, call 911!
441
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,874
Oh, I thought you left.
442
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,709
I'm not leaving you here alone.
443
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,754
You're grounded.
Now, get back in your room.
444
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,255
Can I just get a snack?
445
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,673
I guess.
446
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:36,384
-Whoa!
-What?
447
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:38,094
You look like a punk-rock Rudolph.
448
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:40,764
Which I know sounds awesome,
but trust me, it's not.
449
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,515
Ow!
No, don't touch it.
450
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,100
It's how it's supposed to look.
451
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,436
No.
It's definitely infected.
452
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,188
We're going to the doctor.
453
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,773
If you take me to the doctor,
454
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,067
I am never stepping foot
in the Hang Zone again.
455
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,860
Welp, nice knowing you.
456
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,783
Can you help us?
I think her nose is infected.
457
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,785
Oh, yeah, we need to get on that quick.
458
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,578
Okay, Dad, we just need you
to fill out these forms,
459
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:04,871
-and we'll get her on back.
460
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,331
Well, I'm...
461
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,124
I'm not exactly her father.
462
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,127
Oh. Well, we're gonna
need to speak to a legal guardian.
463
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:19,135
Jenny, I'm at the hospital with Violet.
She's fine.
464
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,887
But her nose is infected.
465
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,389
They're gonna patch her up, but they want
466
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,015
to talk to a legal guardian.
467
00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:26,935
-Mom, my nose is fine!
-Your nose is not fine!
468
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,104
Jenny, I know I'm not her bio dad,
469
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,439
but I love her like a dad,
and I want to take care of her
470
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:34,651
like a dad, and this nose ring
is coming out now!
471
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,320
Wayne, you're the suckiest
person in the world.
472
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,239
Wait, Violet.
What did you just call him?
473
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,574
The suckiest person in the whole world.
474
00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,243
Okay, well, if you're saying Wayne sucks,
475
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,495
then I know
he's doing something right parent-wise.
476
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,330
Point the phone at the nurse.
477
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:48,832
I'm listening.
478
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:53,128
I can confirm
Wayne is officially a dad now.
479
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,382
Lord, forgive me.
I did it again, y'all.
480
00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:06,558
to healing, both relationships
481
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:08,727
-and noses.
-Violet,
482
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,895
I still can't believe you would
defile your body like that.
483
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:15,066
You can't just go crazy
and go wherever your impulses take you.
484
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:16,818
-Whoops!
-Here, let me help you with those.
485
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:19,946
Mom! Did you...?
486
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:22,323
Okay, I can explain.
487
00:21:22,407 --> 00:21:25,410
Jenny Hart, what the hell
have you done to your body?
488
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:28,288
Okay, this is totally different.
I am an adult,
489
00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:32,000
and this is a very classy
and understated artistic expression
490
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,918
that the Brendas dared me to get.
491
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,920
492
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:39,007
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