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1
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:09,050
Huh?
2
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,928
Anderson, party of four,
your table's ready.
3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:12,929
Ander... Oh!
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,764
Hear ye, hear ye.
5
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,850
Big news is afoot, my babies.
6
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:17,934
Shut up, Randy!
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,686
Ha-ha!
8
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:24,024
They're building a Lord Lobster
on the 311 bypass.
9
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And so it is written.
10
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,278
-Ooh! Lord Lobster?
11
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,739
-Cheddar biscuits.
-Lobster and langoustine pizza.
12
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:33,783
-The Mariner's Platter.
-It's the best.
13
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,994
Well, the Last Supper
has some great dishes, too.
14
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:38,955
Y'all, don't be seduced
by the big corporate butts.
15
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,582
Well, well, well,
16
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:44,377
sounds pretty tasty
if you like the taste of death.
17
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,796
So... table for one?
18
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,214
Table for nobody,
19
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,925
-once that Lord Lobster opens up.
-Oh,
20
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,969
I think we can handle
a little competition.
21
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,765
That Highway 311 bypass
is already making it real easy
22
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,933
to blow past towns like this one.
23
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,435
When that Lord Lobster gets built,
24
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everything changes.
25
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,396
I hail from Delk,
26
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,024
just over yonder, in Davidson County.
27
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,193
'Twas one of the first towns
to be decimated
28
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by the 311 bypass
29
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and the plague of corporate sprawl.
30
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People love chains, and that means
31
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the mom and pop places die out,
32
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choked to death.
33
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Delk Country Diner,
34
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RIP when they built a Country Tub
35
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right off the exit.
36
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J&H Hardware, RIP.
37
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Couldn't compete
with the Hardware Warehouse.
38
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John and Hester had to move to Pensacola
39
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-to live with their adult son.
40
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Soon, you'll all be living
with your adult children.
41
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I don't have any adult children.
42
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That's a choice you made
30 years ago, buddy.
43
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Y'all, don't get all worked up
over this handsome stranger.
44
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:45,897
I mean, we don't even know who you are.
45
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,733
-My name is Richard Pyunst.
-What's that, now?
46
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,986
My name is Richard Chokachee Pyunst.
47
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Well, mister...
How do you say your last name?
48
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-Pyunst.
-Okay, well, Mr. Py-ounst...
49
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No, put more "oo" into it.
Pyunst.
50
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,832
Mr. Pyunst.
51
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:05,333
-You got it.
-Well, Mr. Pyunst,
52
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,335
I'm here to tell you
that can't happen here.
53
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:09,379
Everyone loves
the Last Supper in Greenpoint,
54
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,548
and its people are too amazing
55
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,134
to be steamrolled
by a bunch of corporate butts.
56
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,845
Oh, no?
Ticktock, ticktock, Greenpoint.
57
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,880
Now, I know
58
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we all have concerns about Lord Lobster.
59
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That's why I called this forum.
60
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:57,802
We're the walking dead.
61
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Greenpoint's gonna wither and die.
62
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Everyone's worried!
63
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,098
Even Bud's Babydolls.
64
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,392
And no one pays to see a worried dancer.
65
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,894
Show 'em, Dawn!
66
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,941
The people of Greenpoint are the dinosaurs
67
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,987
and Lord Lobster's the asteroid
that's gonna wipe us out!
68
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,739
We are done for.
69
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,409
I got on Daniel's businessman computer
70
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,204
and looked up Lord Lobster's
latest commercial
71
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,040
and I am scared, y'all.
72
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-Oh, okay.
73
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That's Daniel working out.
74
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Just click out of that one.
75
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,713
There it is, y'all.
76
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,298
Lord Lobster is sailing
77
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,217
into the triad, opening soon
78
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,886
on Route 311 with The Mariner's Platter.
79
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,681
Succulent shrimp, mouthwatering lobster,
80
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,600
and the biscuits you cannot resist.
81
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So next time you're on Highway 311,
82
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hit the gas and sail on past Greenpoint
83
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to Exit 19, future home of Lord Lobster
84
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and Ye Olde Shoppes at the Bypass.
85
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,948
It's the end times, my babies!
86
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:04,285
No one can stop the four
seahorsemen of the Apocalobster!
87
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,745
-Randy!
-That's enough, Randy!
88
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,831
Come on, don't take it out on Randy.
89
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,958
Okay, people, this is not over yet.
90
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,168
'Cause you know
what I didn't see in that dumb,
91
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,546
stupid, glitzy Lord Lobster commercial?
92
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,799
People, and Greenpoint's
got the best people there is.
93
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,551
Didn't you see that commercial?
94
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,678
My phone bill's due soon!
95
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,596
Well, what if we made our own commercial,
96
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,932
showing all the-the sweet down-home faces
97
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,934
at Greenpoint's favorite
seafood restaurant,
98
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,895
where the menu comes
straight out of Louise's family recipes
99
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,856
and-and 60 years of tradition!
100
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,068
If we did a commercial,
we could show those corporate butts
101
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,195
-our homegrown southern charm!
102
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,614
That's a great idea, Jenny.
103
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,825
Directing a commercial's a big job.
104
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,286
You need somebody
who knows the restaurant, the food,
105
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,163
the people like the back of her hand.
106
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,832
Ooh, doo-doo.
107
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,584
But mostly you need someone
108
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,503
who's not wandering
around town in her pajamas.
109
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,214
-Yeah, Jenny can do it!
110
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What?! Oh, no, no.
111
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,594
We should definitely
hire a professional for this.
112
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,347
Greenpoint can't afford a professional.
113
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,350
We technically don't even
have a police force right now.
114
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We rely on citizen's arrests.
115
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,604
-Oh, what?
-Never mind, forget I said that.
116
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:16,066
But there is just enough money
left in the till
117
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,942
for you to make the commercial.
118
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I'm not a gambling man, but I say we put
119
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all the town's remaining money on Jenny!
120
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:28,119
ALL
Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! Jenny!
121
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,080
Jenny, Jenny, don't worry, I'll help.
122
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I got you, girl.
123
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ALL
Jenny! Jenny! Jenny!
124
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,755
Okay, is this anything?
125
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,675
Where you're at the Last Supper,
you're home.
126
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,051
Or is that boring?
127
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,511
Why are you guys filming me?
128
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,138
As a documentarian, I cannot pass this up.
129
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,723
I want to be the next Ken Burns.
130
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,684
She's even thinking about
rocking his bowl cut.
131
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,894
Well, hello, Madame Director.
132
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,062
You ready to do this?
133
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,772
Wayne, what did you get me into?
134
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,482
Jenny, I know this is stressful,
135
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,567
but I'm gonna help you out
by using my connections
136
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,152
at the Greenpoint Community Theater.
137
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,154
Oh, my Lord, just please don't say
138
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,323
community theater legend Ian David Cole.
139
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,702
A formal offer was already
made and accepted via text.
140
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,036
And in the community theater world,
141
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,621
that is contractually binding.
142
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,665
Yeah, but isn't he going through
a terrible divorce?
143
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,584
The people in the commercial
have to seem happy and normal.
144
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,254
Don't worry, he's gonna
do what all pros do--
145
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,714
channel his marital despair
146
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,507
into the best performance of his life.
147
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,342
Lucky for you, we put our heads together
148
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,636
and came up with the perfect
Last Supper commercial.
149
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,388
Now, here's what I'm thinking.
150
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,932
Open on Main Street, cut to
151
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Ian David Cole,
Flavor Sheriff of Greenpoint.
152
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,062
153
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:38,064
-empty bellies.
154
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,524
Hmm.
155
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,110
And that's where these two lovable idiots
156
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,195
come in... and as per usual,
157
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,905
they are up to no good.
158
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,949
Yep, they're the Flavor Bandits.
159
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,371
Curse you, flavor bandits!
160
00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:54,539
They stole our food!
161
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,708
My baby is wasting away!
162
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,501
Don't worry, ma'am.
163
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I'm here to save the day.
164
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,176
Star-wipe to glamor shots
165
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,927
of the Last Supper's
delicious dinner entrees.
166
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,346
Bullwhip crack to...
167
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,057
the sidewalk of hungry patrons.
168
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,812
Then Ian David Cole looks directly
169
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,439
into the camera and says...
170
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,650
You just witnessed the good,
the bad, and the yummy.
171
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,402
Yippie ka-ya-yum!
172
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,154
The Last Supper Seafood.
173
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,781
Fade to flavor.
174
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,199
The end.
175
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,455
Can a commercial pitch win an Oscar?
176
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,791
Oh, my God, I want
to be shot in the mouth with a shrimp.
177
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,584
Everybody just get the hell out of here.
178
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,461
Now, that's directing.
179
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,048
Ready for the big shoot, Jenny?
180
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,092
Commercials can be pretty complicated.
181
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,718
Remember those Whassup guys?
182
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,095
Whassup!
183
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,514
That commercial took 45 days to shoot.
184
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,641
Okay, yesterday, I was a nervous wreck,
185
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,352
but I stayed up all night
and I got it all planned out perfect.
186
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,688
We start with Louise,
then Brenda, then some food stuff,
187
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,148
interview a few sweet-faced,
loyal customers
188
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,775
and... that's a wrap, end of day.
189
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,735
Yay, Jenny.
High kick, high kick!
190
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,153
And third high kick, time permitting.
191
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,115
-I totally got this.
192
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,744
Time to shoot a commercial, my babies!
193
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,162
Oh, what?
194
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,795
It's a carnival atmosphere, babies!
195
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,922
We're all gonna be in the commercial!
196
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,465
Wait, what?
197
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,092
Oh, thank God, Mayor Webb.
198
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,927
You got to help me
get everyone out of here.
199
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,388
This is just too much chaos
for a simple little shoot.
200
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:36,599
Yeah, can you believe
they all think they're gonna get cast?
201
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,768
We've got that covered, right, Jenny?
202
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,230
No commercial's complete
without a ditty on my lute.
203
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,692
♪ Gather 'round yon children,
let me tell you a tale... ♪
204
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,028
Oh, well, hang on a sec.
205
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,030
Oh, good Lord, keep calm, Jenny.
206
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,197
You got this.
207
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,323
Or does she?
208
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,034
Will Jenny Hart be able to fit
209
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,452
each and every townsperson
210
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,911
in the commercial, thereby ruining it?
211
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,456
Or will she coldly turn them all away,
212
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,291
inviting their permanent hatred?
213
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,585
-Violet!
-Jenny, look at this!
214
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,503
-Put me in the commercial!
-Look what I can do!
215
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,089
Hey y'all.
216
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,799
Ugh, how do I say this?
217
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,635
You're all so wonderful and so talented.
218
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,637
But I-I just don't think
we're gonna be able to get
219
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,639
everyone in this commercial.
220
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,141
-Oh, no!
221
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:23,813
Is what I would have said
if I was s-some kind of big jerk.
222
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,232
But I'm not, so just sit tight,
223
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,942
and I'll get to y'all as soon as possible.
224
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:30,528
-I'm-a be famous, y'all!
225
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,115
Okay, so here we go.
226
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,492
Let's get this started.
227
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,077
Can y'all believe all these whack-a-doos?
228
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,621
No, Mother, not the catsuit.
229
00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:40,914
Absolutely not.
230
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,665
I want you to look like you.
231
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,126
If you think you're upset,
at least you're not us,
232
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:48,713
who had to "help her
pour herself into this."
233
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,715
I think she looks amazing.
234
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,467
Mother, what are you doing here?
235
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,928
I am just here to help you save
236
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,890
♪ The Last Supper Seafood ♪
237
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,518
♪ Where friends and fish ♪
238
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:05,188
♪ Unite. ♪
239
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,898
I got good news and bad news.
240
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:10,026
I went to Ian David Cole's house
to pick him
241
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,487
at the time we agreed upon,
and he was not there.
242
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,239
That's fine.
I'm actually relieved.
243
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,408
he has been located.
244
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,742
He's currently on his way
245
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,536
to the top of the water tower.
246
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,122
Please do not bring a suicidal man here.
247
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:25,333
I am 100% sure he is not suicidal.
248
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,961
He's just up there
doing some vocal warm-ups
249
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,922
while he gets a bird's-eye view
of the town he's about to save.
250
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,590
-Heading to the water tower.
-Wayne, no, no, wait!
251
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:36,219
-Doo, doo-doo-doo, I'm ready, Jenny.
252
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,138
First shot of the day-- let's do this.
253
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,306
Okay, so, Louise,
you're just gonna walk up
254
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,143
to the salad bar and say,
"Welcome to the Last Supper.
255
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,478
When you're at the Last Supper,
you're home."
256
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,939
Jenny, this is my restaurant.
257
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:50,984
I think I know what to say about it.
258
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,569
Doo, doo-doo-doo!
259
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,946
Welcome to the Last Supper,
260
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:57,782
where we have a nice-size parking lot
261
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:01,161
that accommodates everyone,
but if you do park
262
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:05,040
in the handicapped spot without
a placard, you will be towed.
263
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:08,209
Okay. L-Let's try again
and just make sure we get the line,
264
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,170
"At the Last Supper, you're home."
265
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,171
Well, Jenny,
266
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,590
the problem with saying "you're home"
267
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:17,010
is that we had those nasty
squatters in the parking lot,
268
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,054
who actually did make this their home
269
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,389
until I had to get the courts involved.
270
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,433
Okay, fine, let's just go again.
271
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,685
Welcome to the Last Supper,
272
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:28,605
where if you are a squatter,
273
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,608
I have got Ricky's Towing on speed dial.
274
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,403
Ricky's Towing is the absolute
best in Greenpoint, y'all.
275
00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:38,615
Cut.
Okay, Louise, uh, you didn't say anything
276
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,408
about your food, and then
you immediately started doing
277
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,869
a commercial for another business.
278
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,579
We got to keep it on the Last Supper.
279
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,748
But we're never gonna be able
to save Greenpoint
280
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,959
with parking lots
teeming with nasty squatters.
281
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,754
So don't tell me what to say, Jenny.
282
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,173
-You've changed.
Jenny!
283
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,883
Let's do this.
284
00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:00,720
Brenda, what the hell happened to you?
285
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,389
-My God.
-Where do you want me?
286
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,391
Well, you were gonna be my star waitress,
287
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,394
but now you're upsetting to look at.
288
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,603
What in the hell happened?
289
00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:10,647
I wanted to get a suntan
for the commercial,
290
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,357
so I laid out in my satellite dish
291
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,984
and used a full-length mirror to make sure
292
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,445
the sun hit all my nooks and crannies.
293
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:21,074
And you were wearing 2010
New Year's Eve sunglasses?
294
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,659
You got it, Nancy Drew.
295
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,536
You know what?
I'm gonna put you in the back.
296
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,996
Jenny, this is my lifelong dream.
297
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,582
Ever since I saw Sally Field
in those Boniva commercials.
298
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:30,917
Please.
299
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,836
But aren't you in excruciating pain?
300
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,754
Not for long.
301
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,257
I just took six Tylenol PMs,
302
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,385
so I'm gonna be in Power Mode
before you know it.
303
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,471
Brenda, that is not what PM stands for.
304
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,640
You know what? Just... Okay.
305
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,809
Before you pass out,
can you move the hostess stand
306
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,394
into Louise's office
307
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,979
and then go cool off
in the walk-in for a while?
308
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,814
On it!
309
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:56,609
My skin's burnt turgid.
310
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,236
Deep breaths.
Okay, deep breaths.
311
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,696
Jenny, you got this.
312
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,575
The pressure is mounting
as hometown turns into crazy town.
313
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,369
Greenpoint is pushing her
to her breaking point.
314
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,247
Violet.
I swear, I will spank you.
315
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,498
You better splice that out.
316
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,542
-I'm afraid I can't.
317
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,253
more good news, bad news.
318
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,339
I'll start with the bad
so we can end on a high note.
319
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,258
The bad news is it was a suicide attempt.
320
00:13:20,342 --> 00:13:21,885
But the good news is
321
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,179
-he failed!
322
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,972
-Oh, no.
-Well, look
323
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:29,768
who just waltzed in here,
all high and mighty in her tuck.
324
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,771
-Mother, it's tux.
-Well, yeah, when it's more than one.
325
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,815
Jenny, I know the plural form
of tuck, y'all.
326
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,067
Ugh, look at her.
327
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,152
Who even owns a lady "tuckeedo" anymore?
328
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,363
Did you just say "tuckeedo"?
329
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,365
Is that really how
you think it's pronounced?
330
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,158
And please do not pick a fight
with Crystalynn.
331
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,868
Not today.
We do not have time.
332
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,789
Let's go, girls.
333
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,541
Well, let's not.
Didn't say anything.
334
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,252
-Gold.
-Oscar gold.
335
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,172
Okay, Mother, all you have to do
336
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,715
is come out of the stall and say,
337
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,926
"With facilities so clean..."
338
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,761
and then Crystalynn, you come out and say,
339
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,513
"I could eat off the floor."
340
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,182
Well, it is more likely that Betty
341
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:12,185
would eat off a bathroom floor,
so she should say that line.
342
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,104
-I'm not saying that line.
-Fine.
343
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,189
I'll do it, 'cause I'm a pro.
344
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,401
Whatever.
Please, let's just get through this.
345
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,112
With facilities so clean...
346
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,614
-Betty eats off bathroom floors.
-Oh, what in the hell?
347
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,492
Okay, stop. That wasn't...
348
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,453
Here I am, coming out
of this clean bathroom.
349
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,539
Just visiting this crazy catsuit lady
350
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,874
-who lives in here.
351
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:37,544
Here I am, coming out of this clean...
352
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,839
Help. The elderly lady next door
pooped her tuck.
353
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:42,632
-So tacky.
-You ho bag.
354
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,050
Ha, ha, great job.
355
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,137
-Aw. Thank you.
-So sweet.
356
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,097
We've got friendly...
357
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,765
service with a smile...
358
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:54,728
Dang it. Every time I move,
I feel the fabric on my skin.
359
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:57,105
Please, Jenny, for the love of God,
360
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,732
let me take my top off.
361
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,568
Brenda, no.
And also, thank you for ruining this shot.
362
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,403
Sorry, Jenny.
363
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,740
-Why are all my actors
complete nightmares?
-Jenny. Jenny.
364
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,575
Oh, Lord. No more good news,
bad news, Wayne.
365
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,828
Nope, this time we're talking
good news, great news.
366
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,247
Presenting The Flavor Sheriff,
367
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:18,209
as portrayed by community
theatre's Ian David Cole!
368
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,962
In case you were wondering
369
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,381
if my bitch wife finally left me,
370
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,300
the answer is yes.
371
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,343
Oh, he's actor drunk.
372
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,721
And he's double-parked, so that's a tow.
373
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:32,474
Roll camera.
Action me.
374
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,684
Stop right there, partner!
375
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,895
There's no room in this town
376
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,313
-for empty bellies.
377
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,731
Pew! Pew!
378
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,486
Oh, my God.
Okay, why did you say "pew, pew"
379
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:45,904
if it's a real gun?
380
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:49,032
Sorry, I thought this was
my ex-wife's house.
381
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,284
And blackout.
382
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,581
Okay, great.
383
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,375
Yeah, thanks, Ian.
Wayne, he's fired.
384
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,126
-Get him out of here.
-Oh, come on.
385
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,462
-That was only the first take.
-What is the holdup?
386
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,589
My girls stretched two hours ago.
387
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,466
They're gonna have to stretch again.
388
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,301
My adult sons are getting hungry.
389
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,930
♪ The Cobbler and the Blacksmith set... ♪
390
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,182
-No.
391
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,017
-What the hell?
392
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,811
-Okay.
393
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,938
Well, let's take a fiver.
394
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:23,650
I'm going to go do a thing.
395
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,361
And I will be right back.
396
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,781
I'm trying to help these people
397
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,950
and save this town, and for what?
398
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,868
They're just a bunch of butts!
399
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,162
When this town does die,
I hope they change the name
400
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,540
from Greenpoint to Buttpoint.
401
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,542
butts.
402
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,668
-Louise is a big old butt,
403
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,420
Mother's catsuit's a big old butt.
404
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,172
Mayor Webb, I'm gonna
take that lute and spank your butt.
405
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:48,258
Ian David Butt.
406
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,218
And P.S., thank you, Wayne,
407
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,178
for butting in with your big old butt.
408
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,723
And Brenda's burnt-ass calendar
face is a big old butt.
409
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:57,434
-Bunch of idiot butts.
410
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,853
Ugh, every last one of those butts.
411
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,272
Okay.
412
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,983
Jenny, pull it together.
Butt, butt.
413
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:10,405
-Okay.
414
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,699
So, let's get back to it.
415
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:13,700
What?
416
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,077
Mom, the mic was on.
417
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:19,873
Oh... no...
418
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,838
I quit.
419
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,424
Aah!
420
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,183
How are you?
421
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,684
-Mom?
-Not great.
422
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,019
I buckled under the pressure.
423
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,729
No, but it's not all on me.
424
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,647
I mean, I... this commercial
was supposed to be about
425
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,983
a family-owned restaurant
in a great little town
426
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,777
filled with sweet little people,
427
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:51,488
and everyone showed up and acted
like a bunch of little freaks.
428
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,698
Mom, I want you to watch this.
429
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:56,451
I hope this commercial works,
430
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,203
'cause I really love Greenpoint.
431
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:00,622
There's a reason I moved here
after grad school.
432
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:04,042
Oh, I've never lived anywhere
else nor would I want to.
433
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,045
Yeah, Greenpoint sure is a beautiful town.
434
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:10,131
Oh, look, the dogwoods are coming in.
435
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:19,099
I know every Greenpointer's deepest,
darkest secret,
436
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:22,102
-and I still love these people.
-Me, too.
437
00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,854
The only negative thing
I did hear one person say--
438
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,690
and these are not my words--
439
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:30,235
is "Betty Hart is a dogface troll."
440
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,737
Now, other than that one negative comment,
441
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,698
it's all positive here.
442
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:35,949
You've got to love a town where everyone
443
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,993
accepts each other for who they are.
444
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:41,996
Especially poor old Crystalynn Poole,
445
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,374
who never learned to wipe properly.
446
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,167
Hey, Violet, are you filming me?
447
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:49,754
Okay, well, film this.
Jenny freakin' rules.
448
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:51,589
Greenpoint freakin' rules.
449
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:54,801
And anyone who disagrees
is a little bitch.
450
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,511
Aah!
451
00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:00,390
Aw, Vi.
What did I do?
452
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,560
MayKay Bueller here
at the Greenpoint Library
453
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,104
where they're kicking off
Fine Forgiveness Week.
454
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,814
Hey, what the heck
do you think you're doing?
455
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,858
Just talk right into the mic
right there, right there.
456
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,944
I have breaking news.
I am a butt, y'all.
457
00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:14,946
A big ol' butt.
458
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,699
The whole town of Greenpoint
showed up to help,
459
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:20,076
and I should have been thanking you,
but instead,
460
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,704
I let all your quirks drive me crazy.
461
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,248
But those quirks
are exactly what makes this town
462
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,752
so special.
I'm sorry I let us down.
463
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,462
I just hope you forgive me.
464
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,881
Thank you each and every person
465
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:35,175
of Greenpoint for being so special.
466
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,557
I'm really gonna miss this place.
467
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,310
I guess this time,
David didn't beat Goliath.
468
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,853
-You sure about that?
469
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,692
Y'all came back.
470
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,736
Is Randy still gonna be in the commercial?
471
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,197
'Cause if I'm gonna
blow fire out of my tooter,
472
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,699
there is some preparation involved.
473
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,701
Well, then, prep that tooter, Randy,
474
00:20:01,785 --> 00:20:03,036
'cause we're all gonna
be in this commercial.
475
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,871
Every last beautiful one of us.
476
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,625
Okay, places, y'all.
477
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,918
Everybody ready?
478
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,253
And... action.
479
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:14,255
When you're at the Last Supper...
480
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:15,590
You're home!
481
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:16,758
She pooped her tuck.
482
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:23,598
Everyone, here it is.
483
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:25,433
Doo, doo-doo-doo, I'm Louise Culp,
484
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:28,645
and welcome to the Last Supper Seafood.
485
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,772
A restaurant that does tow.
486
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:33,400
We've got friendly service with a smile.
487
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:36,528
-With facilities so clean...
You could eat off the floors.
488
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:39,155
And you might even see a local celebrity,
489
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,075
like Ian David Cole.
490
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,827
When you're at the Last Supper...
491
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,704
You're home!
-She poo...
492
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:48,790
The Last Supper Seafood
in Greenpoint, North Carolina,
493
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,291
on South Main.
494
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,419
Two hour parking strictly enforced,
no squatters.
495
00:20:57,132 --> 00:21:00,552
Well, turns out Lord Lobster
never did open that restaurant.
496
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,554
Not because of the commercial, of course--
497
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:04,264
the commercial was pure crap--
498
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:06,141
but because the CEO of Lord Lobster
499
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:07,726
turned out to be a pedophile.
500
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,769
So they had bigger fish to fry.
501
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:13,148
And as for me, well,
I got more towns to save.
502
00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,195
What? No.
503
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,044
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