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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,255 Okay, y'all, we got a fried flounder 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,757 and fried scallops with hush puppies 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,175 and extra hush puppies, 4 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,843 and this one's the fried clam strips 5 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:12,346 with fried fried chicken. Oh, and some hush puppies. 6 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,264 Oh, hey, I hate to be a bother, 7 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,350 but it looks like there's something in my catfish. 8 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,727 Well, I have no idea what that could be. 9 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,562 Doo, doo-doo-doo. 10 00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,815 I do apologize for that on behalf of Jenny. 11 00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,276 I'm sure whatever weird bangle 12 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,154 or makeup clump fell off of her, it was pure accident. 13 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,781 I know it's not from me. 14 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,199 Looks like ceiling tile. 15 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,662 Yup, you got a critter up there. 16 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,790 Is it? I could have sworn I kept hearing Crazy Train up there. You know... 17 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,583 Ay-ay-ay 18 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,168 No, I heard it, too. 19 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,671 But what kind of critter goes, "Ay, ay, ay"? 20 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,797 -A muskrat? -A possum? 21 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,881 A deer? 22 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,132 Deers don't even make a sound. 23 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,843 They do if they're in estrus. 24 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,220 Well, sure, in estrus, but that still doesn't explain 25 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,264 how an adult doe would even get up there. 26 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,474 Well, now you're just moving the goalposts. 27 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,187 -Randy! -Get out of here, Randy. 28 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,731 What the heck, Randy? -Ahhh... 29 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:07,901 Whoo-hoo! That was a stunt, babies. 30 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,279 I've been living in your ceiling for 30 days, 31 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:12,406 like a modern-day David Blaine. 32 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,657 Get him! 33 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,741 -Trip him! -Get a net! 34 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:15,909 Git, Randy! 35 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,452 Go... Git. Git out of here. 36 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:21,164 Behold, Greenpoint's local Mind Freak. 37 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,457 Argh! 38 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:59,453 So, obviously, we're closing this weekend, 39 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,414 -thanks to Randy's little stunt. 40 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,124 What? No. I need my tip money. 41 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,959 We can still serve customers. 42 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,628 We just have some silly, 43 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,964 little itty-bitty ceiling issues we have to deal with. 44 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,841 Oh, you mean the asbestos? 45 00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:16,553 Well, no. Just some lil' ol' issues from the '70s 46 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:20,599 when this building had some fun, different insulation. 47 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,017 Yeah, asbestos. 48 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,895 Anyhoo, it looks like you two got surprise days off. 49 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,605 Doo, doo-doo-doo. 50 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,066 Unpaid. Doo-doo. 51 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,616 So, pretty crazy about Randy, huh? 52 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,451 The second he moved up there, I thought, 53 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,328 "This is an accident waiting to happen." 54 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,664 If you knew he was up there, couldn't you have warned us? 55 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,873 I did. 56 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,834 I told you, like, a million times. 57 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,336 -Someone's up there watching over you. -Oh, what? 58 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,630 -I thought you meant God. -I mean, that's a given. 59 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,423 I shouldn't have to remind you of that. 60 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,175 So what are you gonna do with your time off? 61 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,553 I don't know. Probably just catch up on errands. 62 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,596 Ugh, why aren't you doing anything fun? 63 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,682 -You should take a vacay. -I can't do that. 64 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,934 Jenny, nobody likes a martyr. 65 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,602 A vacation does sound nice. 66 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,187 That's the spirit. 67 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,231 -YOLO. -Yeah, YOLO! 68 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,860 -Wait, didn't you live twice? -Jenny, don't overthink it. 69 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,988 Welcome back to Ice Edition. 70 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,823 Hey, is that Brian Boitano? 71 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,241 -Guess not. 72 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,493 This guy just wants to get to work. 73 00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,495 -Whoa! Hold on, don't fall. 74 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,289 He's still slipping. Is he gonna fall? 75 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,624 Wayne, spoiler alert, they always fall. 76 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,543 Yeah. There he goes. 77 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,379 There he goes. 78 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,756 Nope, look at that. He beat the odds. 79 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,467 -Oh! Oh! 80 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,760 Hey, y'all, guess what. 81 00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,887 I have a weekend off. 82 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,013 Randy fell through the ceiling 83 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,139 so the restaurant's closed. 84 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,724 -Oh. -Mmm-hmm. 85 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,726 So I was thinking maybe we should take a vacation. 86 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,561 Well, what are we gonna use for money? 87 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,646 -Sell our hair? -Oh, Leonard was telling me 88 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,065 how you can get a free vacation if you just go sit through 89 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,651 a time-share presentation at one of those places at Myrtle Beach. 90 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,195 Oh, Violet, you used to love Myrtle Beach 91 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,571 when you were still my baby girl. 92 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,989 That was two years ago. 93 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,365 I'm a whole different person. 94 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,826 No, you loved it and we loved it together. 95 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,828 Find those memories through all that darkness 96 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,413 and sarcasm in your head. 97 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,831 Oh, yeah. 98 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,750 The sunburned rednecks groping each other. 99 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,168 The beer breath. 100 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,045 The arcades full of barefoot adult men. 101 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,963 That all sounds amazing. 102 00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,798 Are you being sarcastic right now? 103 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:19,218 No, Mom. You know how much I love human wreckage. 104 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,552 See, even that, I'm not sure. 105 00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,179 It's a tone thing. 106 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,056 It's like everything could go either way with you. 107 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,766 I'm saying I want to go. 108 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,893 Plus, you know what else they have in Myrtle Beach... 109 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,853 Mini-golf. 110 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:36,193 -Jenny, you are the putt-putt queen. -Yeah, you know. 111 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,986 God sure as hell blessed me with the ability 112 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,447 to putt short distances through contrived obstacles. 113 00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,782 Damn it, we're doing this. 114 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,200 I'll go in there and listen 115 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,077 to their little time-share song and dance, 116 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,914 -and we'll get us a free trip to paradise. 117 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,501 Son, you think you know about the time-share grift? 118 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,589 you know nothing about the time-share grift. 119 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,007 It is brutal. 120 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,009 And if you think you can just dance in there 121 00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,846 like Patrick Sways, you got another thing coming. 122 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,974 Yes, if you play it just right, you're in tall cotton, 123 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,810 butt-deep in drink vouchers and ocean views. 124 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,354 But one false move, ruination. 125 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,147 Betty, I think I can handle myself... 126 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,108 Ruination! 127 00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:19,361 I normally work alone, but I might could take on a student. 128 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,780 Pass on my secrets so you can provide my daughter 129 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,491 with the scam-rich lifestyle she deserves. 130 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,119 Now let's go get us a free vacation. 131 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,788 -Yay! Let's go! -Vacay! 132 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,249 A three-hour presentation 133 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:36,128 So we get a free vacation 134 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,297 Nothing could be easier 135 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,631 What could go wrong? 136 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,633 Nothin' at all 137 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,468 Oh, my God, is that a lazy river... 138 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,804 running right through the dang lobby? 139 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,516 Okay, well, Wayne, and Mother, 140 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,185 thanks for taking one for the team 141 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,603 and sitting through that presentation. 142 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,730 Me and Violet are gonna go hit the links. 143 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:59,276 Oh, my Lord, I can't ever get enough of these crazy names. 144 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:03,030 "PuttThroat Island"? "South Putt-Cific." 145 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:06,408 "Putt & Putt's Puttcellent Puttventure"? 146 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,702 No way they got permission for that one. 147 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,287 Oh, my God, Mom, look. 148 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,332 Oh, my Lord, a mini-golf tournament? 149 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,834 Oh, yeah. This sport's gotten huge. 150 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,128 No one can tell if it's ironically huge or just huge. 151 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,922 That's my whole thing with you! 152 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,340 But the prize money is real. 153 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,217 First place gets $800. 154 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,052 Mom, you could totally win this. 155 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,512 Oh, my Lord, we might do more 156 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,930 than break even on this vacation. 157 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,181 We might make some money. 158 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,642 Oh, Myrtle Beach is magical! 159 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,855 These guys all use the same playbook. 160 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,233 Step one, the razzle dazzle. 161 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,905 Are you pumped? 'Cause I am pumped. 162 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,532 -Whoo! -Snap out of it. 163 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,326 Do not pay any attention to this time-share Fonzarelli. 164 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,370 They get you hyped up, and before you know it, 165 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,829 you're signing your life away. 166 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,374 Now just train your eyes on that beautiful view 167 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,709 -and don't let him in your head. -Got it. 168 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,169 Focus on the view, 169 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,171 not the super cool guy who has a hoverboard 170 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,674 and probably everything else I want. 171 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,219 Hey, is it bright in here, or is that just our futures? 172 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,097 Let's make it a little bit more intimate, shall we? 173 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,932 -Yeah. 174 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,351 Well, I'll be damned. 175 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,436 This guy's a pro. 176 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,070 Okay, hi, everybody. 177 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,363 My name is Craig. 178 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,489 That's a lie. 179 00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,366 And welcome to Myrtle Beach. 180 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,035 -Isn't this place magic? -Y'all ready for this? 181 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,538 Ah. 182 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,709 Oh, hell no. Balloon magic? 183 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,502 He's got his finger on the pulse. 184 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,379 Just remember, the real magic trick 185 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,006 is separating you from your money. 186 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,758 Don't you worry. I got all my wits about me. 187 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:50,429 I... Oh, my God! Is he swallowing that balloon? 188 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,598 I-I mean, psych. 189 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,433 I find this dumb. 190 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,226 Just a silly magic... 191 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,061 Is it completely gone? 192 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,772 -I-I mean, who cares? 193 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:02,482 I'm not even remotely curious 194 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,776 how he could make that whole balloon 195 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,779 leave our dimension! 196 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,950 Tim Cupp here with the Mini Golf Network. 197 00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,536 Well, it's a beautiful day for mini golf, folks. 198 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,830 The giants of this sport are all here 199 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,832 and, of course, so many walk-ons. 200 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,877 Will this be the year an unknown upends the sport? 201 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,670 I'm Jenny Hart. 202 00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,422 I'm a walk-on, I guess. 203 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:29,218 Well, well, well, this little lady must be lost. 204 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,053 This is a golf tournament, 205 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,722 not a Sex and the City viewing party. 206 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,225 Oh, my God. There's seriously sexism in a sport 207 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:38,519 as non-strength-dependent as mini golf? 208 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,187 Now, Beau, let's let her try. 209 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,523 Hey, I'm Gus. I designed this course. 210 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:45,400 No woman has ever won it, let alone a walk-on. 211 00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:49,446 No offense, but when females play mini golf, they lose focus. 212 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,365 You know, they get all up in their heads 213 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,450 thinking about their pocketbooks 214 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,161 and Sex and the City episodes. 215 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,913 Their minds are too weak. 216 00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,540 Toddlers play this sport. 217 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,334 You literally write your score down with a doll pencil. 218 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,794 Just put me down for a hole in one 219 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,462 -on the first hole. 220 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,797 Yeah, right. 221 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:10,676 -Huh? -Huh? 222 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,944 Now the time has come to talk about something serious. 223 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,655 He's about to hit us with the emotional appeal. 224 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,408 He's gonna yank so hard at your heartstrings, 225 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,035 -you'll feel it in your butt. -Bring it on. 226 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,497 Family. Heart. Emotion. 227 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,875 Fun. Love. 228 00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,960 How many people here love their families? 229 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,171 Ah! -I do. I love my family. 230 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,006 Babies. Animals. 231 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,592 Baby animals being friends. 232 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,677 Oh, Lord. I'm feeling it in my butt. 233 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,138 Oh, I got to stop this. I have a question. 234 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,223 How much does this all cost? 235 00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,516 Well, um... 236 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,393 Um... Um... 237 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,729 Now I'm in the driver's seat. 238 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,606 Um... Well, um... 239 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,441 Price. 240 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,484 That's a big word, price. 241 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,486 So let's talk about prices. 242 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,363 Money. Dollars. 243 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,033 Medical. Things that cost. 244 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,409 Mmm-hmm. 245 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,994 Hey, how many of you guys like Starbucks? 246 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,704 Ah! -I do! I love it. 247 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,916 But what do you think you spend on coffee every week? 248 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:27,586 -$500, $600? Uh-huh. 249 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,463 Now, what if you could take that coffee money 250 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:32,549 and use it to build real memories? 251 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,968 Because for the price of just 21 coffees a day, 252 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:38,472 you could own a happy family. Yours. 253 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,891 Wow! 254 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,373 I saw a werewolf 255 00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,708 With a Chinese menu in his hand 256 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,586 Walking through the streets 257 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,547 Of Soho in the rain 258 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,758 He was looking for the place 259 00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,051 Called Lee Ho Fook's 260 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:21,807 Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein 261 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,100 Ah-ooh 262 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,436 Werewolves of London 263 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,188 Ah-ooh 264 00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,357 Mom, you're 15 strokes ahead. 265 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,735 -You're gonna win that $800. -Violet, remember these? 266 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:36,196 Please let me get us matching necklaces 267 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,656 just like when you were little. 268 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,449 "You're one in a million." 269 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,952 Oh, my God. Those are so cheesy. 270 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,621 -I love them. -Okay, now, see, there it is again. 271 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,249 -So you hate them? -No, I just said I love them. 272 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,709 I know, but that tone. 273 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,210 Can you just trust my words? 274 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,588 Little lady's trying on jewelry, 275 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,965 but she should be getting ready for the final hole. 276 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,508 I was born ready, Beau. 277 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,719 And, last time I checked, I was kicking your butt. 278 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,721 Don't get too cocky, hon. 279 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,347 The last hole is a killer. 280 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,349 -Isn't it, Gus? -That's how I made it. 281 00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,018 Hey, how about y'all sit this one out? 282 00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,520 I don't want all the female stomping and crying 283 00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:10,314 to damage my Astroturf. 284 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,607 Oh, I'll be fine, Gus. 285 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,275 Just gonna finish buying our jewelry 286 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,861 so I can look all pretty in the winner's photo. 287 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,237 How much for the necklaces? 288 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:18,614 Oh, they're three dollars each 289 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,491 or 15,000 arcade tickets. 290 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,076 Gentlemen, 291 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,872 welcome to the hardest hole ever designed. 292 00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:30,792 "The Invinci B-hole." 293 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,586 It's pronounced "Invincib'hole." 294 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,172 -Well, it looks like "B-hole." -Well, it's not, okay? 295 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,845 Huh? A straight line? 296 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,305 What the hell is this? 297 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,265 On this hole, you must face 298 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,685 the biggest obstacle of all, your own mind. 299 00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,939 -$800 -I'm gonna do a kick in the air 300 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,440 -For $800 -$800 301 00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,943 -And then punch! -800, 800 302 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:00,781 -Oh! -Son, 303 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,450 I can't keep swooping in and saving your ass. 304 00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,327 Betty, we've been in here for so long, 305 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,079 and I'm-I'm starving. 306 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:10,332 We've only got ten more minutes, and we have beaten this guy. 307 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,708 Dig deep. 308 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,710 Think about Jenny. 309 00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,587 You guys not interested in the free cookies? 310 00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:17,589 Watching our figures. 311 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,511 Hey, tell you what. I'm not supposed to do this, 312 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,680 but I happen to know where there is 313 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,765 some Starfish Vineyards white zin. 314 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,393 Don't mind if I do. 315 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,020 Won't that wine loosen you up too much? 316 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,356 Does the ocean drown a fish? 317 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,526 I can handle a little victory wine. 318 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,698 Big Beau Preston lines up the shot. 319 00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:46,451 Boy, there is so much pressure on this b'hole. 320 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,039 And he nails it! 321 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:54,376 Next up, Jenny Hart. 322 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,004 Let's see how a lady handles the pressure. 323 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,549 Oh! 324 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,260 Looks like Carrie met her Mr. Big. 325 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,304 She just can't tie this one down. 326 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,432 Okay, just shake it out, Jenny. 327 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,726 Wait, is it actually hard? 328 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,312 Or is it so easy that it's hard? 329 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,439 What? No! Don't overthink it, Mom. 330 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,566 You got it. That was a fluke. 331 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,484 Okay, Jenny, okay, just focus, but don't over-focus. 332 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,069 Breathe. Or should I hold my breath? 333 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:22,696 What if I get caught up and hold it for too long? 334 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,531 Oh, God, how many breaths do I usually take? 335 00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,658 Am I breathing now? I don't know. I don't know anymore. 336 00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:27,784 Violet, am I breathing right now? 337 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:28,869 Somebody get me a hand mirror. 338 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,954 -Mom! Pull it together. -Yes, ma'am. 339 00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:43,967 Sandy Christmas! You know what? 340 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,803 Okay. I'm just gonna ease up to it. 341 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:52,476 Ooh! Aw! Ooh! Aw! Oh! 342 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,188 Son of a b'hole! 343 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,272 It's okay, Mom. 344 00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:58,815 Just try to have fun. 345 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,275 I am having fun! 346 00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:01,360 This... 347 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,486 Is... 348 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,946 Fun! 349 00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:07,616 Michelle, I noticed you have a book in your tote. 350 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,993 Where would you rather read, here in a pool cabana, 351 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,996 or in a seaside hammock listening to the waves? 352 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,165 Drink service at both locations. 353 00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:16,542 Reading on vacation while buzzed? 354 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,585 Ah, you better give me that pen. 355 00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,170 -How about you two? -Aw. 356 00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,172 No interest in joining in the winners circle? 357 00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:23,882 -None. Zero. -Nada. 358 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,343 I bow to a worthy opponent. 359 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,846 Still got your wits about you, even after all that wine. 360 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,180 Student... 361 00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:33,183 ...meet master. 362 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,477 Okay, well, listen, 363 00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,145 I have to keep you here another ten minutes, 364 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:39,439 or my supervisor will say I didn't try hard enough. 365 00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:41,650 You want to take a pee break or something? 366 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:45,279 Yeah. You know what, I think I will take a victory pee. 367 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,699 Bye, Betty. 368 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,285 That bastard! He wasn't trying to get me buzzed, 369 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,412 he was trying to fill my bladder! 370 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,747 Now, Wayne, you already know that I'm an amateur magician. 371 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:59,293 Did you also know that I'm a veteran? 372 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,878 Oh, no. 373 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,464 'Cause I'm proud to be an American 374 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:07,301 Where at least I know I'm free 375 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,261 And I won't forget 376 00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,305 The men who died 377 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,473 -And gave that right to me -Wayne! Snap out of it! 378 00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:15,809 -And I'll gladly stand up -Wayne! 379 00:16:15,893 --> 00:16:16,977 Next to you... 380 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,313 Oh, you son of a bitch. 381 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,904 I shouldn't have gone to pee. 382 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,198 That's a rookie mistake. That's the one thing 383 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,408 that crazy jilted astronaut lady got right, though, 384 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,701 she wore a diaper. 385 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,453 Betty, I didn't sign. 386 00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,413 -What? -I followed your advice. 387 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,498 I focused on giving Jenny and Violet 388 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,626 the life they deserve, and it worked! 389 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,252 Well, what do you know! 390 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,922 Wayne, I am sorry I mis-underestimated you. 391 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,300 I'd go into a time-share foxhole with you any day. 392 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,886 Same. All right, I'm gonna go enjoy the room. 393 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:53,222 We only have it for 11 more hours. 394 00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:56,225 Oh, boy, did you guys play it right. 395 00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:57,726 They gotcha, didn't they? 396 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,311 Hook, line and sinker. 397 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,688 But it won't be terrible. I mean, it pays for itself 398 00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:02,981 in three to five years. 399 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,608 And my family will love this place 400 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,235 and its amenities. 401 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,905 Amenities? Lord, now you sound like one of 'em. 402 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,243 You're one of 'em! 403 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:16,870 Judas! You're trying to close me right now. 404 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,122 Damn. You are good. 405 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,874 Can't blame me for trying, though. 406 00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:22,751 Would have been a sweet, sweet commission. 407 00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:26,755 This might be a rude question, but hell, I don't care. 408 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,841 What's the going rate for roping all these dopes? 409 00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,133 Low six figures. 410 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,135 Now, I've been burned by this before. 411 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,596 -Does that include the cents? -Nope. 412 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,974 Nice work if you can get it. 413 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,725 I could introduce you to some people. 414 00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:40,394 I mean, you got what it takes. 415 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,230 I could do a weekend here, a weekend there. 416 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,815 Probably make a mint. 417 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,441 Girl, yes! 418 00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:50,070 And the best part is, you get your own condo here! 419 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,196 For free? 420 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,406 Hundred percent. 421 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,199 You just put down a small deposit, 422 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,201 and they just take the rest out of your paycheck. 423 00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,786 -She sold me! -What? 424 00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,371 Got me in a play-for-pay scam. 425 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,665 I was so wrapped up in the fantasy of getting rich, 426 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,625 I didn't realize I was getting sold. 427 00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:05,127 There's got to be a way to get out of it. 428 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,962 Oh, there's no getting out of it. 429 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,839 That bitch played me like a fiddle. 430 00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,300 All this time I thought you were the weak link, 431 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,926 and it turns out I was. 432 00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,637 Betty, we can get through this. All we have to do 433 00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:19,433 is just drink 19 fewer cups of Starbucks a day. 434 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:23,187 Hmm. 435 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,230 Mom, come on. 436 00:18:25,314 --> 00:18:26,815 Don't give up on yourself. 437 00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:29,234 I wanted this to be a special beach trip for us, 438 00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:30,569 just like the old days. 439 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,029 But now you're just gonna remember it 440 00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,114 as the trip where I made a fool of myself 441 00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:36,575 and gave those goobers the satisfaction of beating a woman. 442 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,660 -Mom, forget about them. -Just get my ball. 443 00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,871 I'd rather forfeit than beef it anymore 444 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,998 in front of these dip-rods. 445 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,919 -What the... 446 00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:50,088 Mom. 447 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,090 Look. 448 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,301 They're using magnets on you. 449 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,136 -What? -It's totally Gus. 450 00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:59,515 He's got some Scooby-Doo crap going on so his buddy can win. 451 00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,934 I'm gonna wrap this club around his sunburned neck! 452 00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:03,018 Wait, wait. Mom. 453 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,853 What if you just won? 454 00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:07,523 How can I? There's magnets. It's impossible. 455 00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,733 Not if you drop it from the top. 456 00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:12,861 I would have to bank it off the windmill, 457 00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:15,322 then the airplane, and try to ladder it up to that tree, 458 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,074 and then hope it still had enough spin 459 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,575 to roll up that branch. 460 00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,786 Oh, honey, that is a million-to-one shot. 461 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,871 Well, you are one in a million. 462 00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:24,331 Your necklace says so. 463 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,001 Last time I checked, it was Tiger Woods, 464 00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:30,671 not Lady Tiger Woods. 465 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,178 Whoa! 466 00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,356 B'holy cow! 467 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:53,235 Lady golfer Jenny Hart wins the tournament! 468 00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,362 I did it! 469 00:19:57,406 --> 00:20:00,701 Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. 470 00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:02,494 Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. 471 00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,997 Okay, so, what's the plan? 472 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,126 Oh! 473 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,212 Manager! 474 00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:13,922 I need a manager right now! 475 00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:15,048 Yes, ma'am. How may I... 476 00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:16,341 My common-law son-in-law 477 00:20:16,425 --> 00:20:17,885 slipped on a pineapple wedge, 478 00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:20,470 and now he's drowning in your lazy river. 479 00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:23,223 I should sue your ass for gross negligence. 480 00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,142 Help! I-I can't swim! 481 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,311 Sir, if you'll just stand up, 482 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,689 you'll see that the water is only four feet deep. 483 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:35,569 Wait. 484 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,029 Is this a poo? 485 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,281 Oh, my God, there's so many poos in here! 486 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,658 Riddle me this. How many floating dooks 487 00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,620 does it take to annul a time-share? 488 00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:47,831 Yeah, no, seriously, there's, like, 30 turds in here. 489 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,045 Jenny, I am so proud of you. 490 00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,881 I got out of the time-share, and we won $800? 491 00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,883 This is the best vacation ever. 492 00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,551 And I'm not even being ironic. 493 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:01,094 Aw. 494 00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,179 Let's see... 495 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,430 What do winners eat? 496 00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,474 Aye, aye, aye. 497 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:06,975 Oh, no. 498 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,438 Welcome to Myrtle Beach magic. 499 00:21:11,522 --> 00:21:13,065 I'm Randy's cousin, Sandy, 500 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,359 who lives in Myrtle Beach, my babies. 501 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,069 No, you're not, Randy. 502 00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:18,403 Presto! 503 00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,906 It was Randy the whole time! 36366

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