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1
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,255
Okay, y'all, we got a fried flounder
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,757
and fried scallops with hush puppies
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,175
and extra hush puppies,
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,843
and this one's the fried clam strips
5
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:12,346
with fried fried chicken.
Oh, and some hush puppies.
6
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,264
Oh, hey, I hate to be a bother,
7
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,350
but it looks like there's
something in my catfish.
8
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,727
Well,
I have no idea what that could be.
9
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,562
Doo, doo-doo-doo.
10
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:23,815
I do apologize for that
on behalf of Jenny.
11
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,276
I'm sure whatever weird bangle
12
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,154
or makeup clump fell off of her,
it was pure accident.
13
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,781
I know it's not from me.
14
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,199
Looks like ceiling tile.
15
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,662
Yup, you got a critter up there.
16
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,790
Is it? I could have sworn I kept hearing
Crazy Train up there. You know...
17
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,583
Ay-ay-ay
18
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,168
No, I heard it, too.
19
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,671
But what kind of critter goes,
"Ay, ay, ay"?
20
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,797
-A muskrat?
-A possum?
21
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,881
A deer?
22
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,132
Deers don't even make a sound.
23
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,843
They do if they're in estrus.
24
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,220
Well, sure, in estrus,
but that still doesn't explain
25
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,264
how an adult doe would even get up there.
26
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,474
Well, now you're just
moving the goalposts.
27
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,187
-Randy!
-Get out of here, Randy.
28
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,731
What the heck, Randy?
-Ahhh...
29
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:07,901
Whoo-hoo!
That was a stunt, babies.
30
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,279
I've been living in your ceiling
for 30 days,
31
00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:12,406
like a modern-day David Blaine.
32
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:13,657
Get him!
33
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,741
-Trip him!
-Get a net!
34
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:15,909
Git, Randy!
35
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,452
Go... Git.
Git out of here.
36
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:21,164
Behold, Greenpoint's local Mind Freak.
37
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,457
Argh!
38
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:59,453
So, obviously, we're closing this weekend,
39
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,414
-thanks to Randy's little stunt.
40
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,124
What? No.
I need my tip money.
41
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,959
We can still serve customers.
42
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,628
We just have some silly,
43
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,964
little itty-bitty ceiling issues
we have to deal with.
44
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,841
Oh, you mean the asbestos?
45
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:16,553
Well, no.
Just some lil' ol' issues from the '70s
46
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:20,599
when this building had some fun,
different insulation.
47
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,017
Yeah, asbestos.
48
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,895
Anyhoo, it looks like you two
got surprise days off.
49
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,605
Doo, doo-doo-doo.
50
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,066
Unpaid. Doo-doo.
51
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,616
So, pretty crazy about Randy, huh?
52
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,451
The second he moved up there, I thought,
53
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,328
"This is an accident waiting to happen."
54
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,664
If you knew he was up there,
couldn't you have warned us?
55
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,873
I did.
56
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,834
I told you, like, a million times.
57
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,336
-Someone's up there watching over you.
-Oh, what?
58
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,630
-I thought you meant God.
-I mean, that's a given.
59
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:53,423
I shouldn't have to remind you of that.
60
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,175
So what are you gonna do
with your time off?
61
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,553
I don't know.
Probably just catch up on errands.
62
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,596
Ugh, why aren't you doing anything fun?
63
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,682
-You should take a vacay.
-I can't do that.
64
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,934
Jenny, nobody likes a martyr.
65
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,602
A vacation does sound nice.
66
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,187
That's the spirit.
67
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,231
-YOLO.
-Yeah, YOLO!
68
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,860
-Wait, didn't you live twice?
-Jenny, don't overthink it.
69
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,988
Welcome back to
Ice Edition.
70
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,823
Hey, is that Brian Boitano?
71
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,241
-Guess not.
72
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,493
This guy just wants to get to work.
73
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:23,495
-Whoa!
Hold on, don't fall.
74
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,289
He's still slipping.
Is he gonna fall?
75
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,624
Wayne, spoiler alert,
they always fall.
76
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,543
Yeah. There he goes.
77
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,379
There he goes.
78
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,756
Nope, look at that.
He beat the odds.
79
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,467
-Oh!
Oh!
80
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,760
Hey, y'all, guess what.
81
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,887
I have a weekend off.
82
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,013
Randy fell through the ceiling
83
00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:42,139
so the restaurant's closed.
84
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,724
-Oh.
-Mmm-hmm.
85
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,726
So I was thinking maybe
we should take a vacation.
86
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,561
Well, what are we gonna use for money?
87
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,646
-Sell our hair?
-Oh, Leonard was telling me
88
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,065
how you can get a free vacation
if you just go sit through
89
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,651
a time-share presentation
at one of those places at Myrtle Beach.
90
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,195
Oh, Violet, you used to love Myrtle Beach
91
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,571
when you were still my baby girl.
92
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,989
That was two years ago.
93
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,365
I'm a whole different person.
94
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,826
No, you loved it and we loved it together.
95
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,828
Find those memories
through all that darkness
96
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,413
and sarcasm in your head.
97
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,831
Oh, yeah.
98
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,750
The sunburned rednecks groping each other.
99
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,168
The beer breath.
100
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,045
The arcades full of barefoot adult men.
101
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,963
That all sounds amazing.
102
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,798
Are you being sarcastic right now?
103
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:19,218
No, Mom. You know how much
I love human wreckage.
104
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,552
See, even that, I'm not sure.
105
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,179
It's a tone thing.
106
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,056
It's like everything
could go either way with you.
107
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,766
I'm saying I want to go.
108
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,893
Plus, you know what else
they have in Myrtle Beach...
109
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,853
Mini-golf.
110
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:36,193
-Jenny, you are the putt-putt queen.
-Yeah, you know.
111
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,986
God sure as hell blessed me
with the ability
112
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,447
to putt short distances
through contrived obstacles.
113
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,782
Damn it, we're doing this.
114
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,200
I'll go in there and listen
115
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,077
to their little time-share song and dance,
116
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,914
-and we'll get us a free trip to paradise.
117
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,501
Son, you think you know
about the time-share grift?
118
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,589
you know nothing
about the time-share grift.
119
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,007
It is brutal.
120
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:01,009
And if you think
you can just dance in there
121
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,846
like Patrick Sways,
you got another thing coming.
122
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,974
Yes, if you play it just right,
you're in tall cotton,
123
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,810
butt-deep in drink vouchers
and ocean views.
124
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,354
But one false move, ruination.
125
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,147
Betty, I think I can handle myself...
126
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,108
Ruination!
127
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:19,361
I normally work alone,
but I might could take on a student.
128
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,780
Pass on my secrets
so you can provide my daughter
129
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,491
with the scam-rich lifestyle she deserves.
130
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:27,119
Now let's go get us a free vacation.
131
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,788
-Yay! Let's go!
-Vacay!
132
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,249
A three-hour presentation
133
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:36,128
So we get a free vacation
134
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,297
Nothing could be easier
135
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,631
What could go wrong?
136
00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:41,633
Nothin' at all
137
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,468
Oh, my God, is that a lazy river...
138
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,804
running right through the dang lobby?
139
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,516
Okay, well, Wayne, and Mother,
140
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,185
thanks for taking one for the team
141
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,603
and sitting through that presentation.
142
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,730
Me and Violet are gonna go hit the links.
143
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:59,276
Oh, my Lord, I can't ever get
enough of these crazy names.
144
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:03,030
"PuttThroat Island"?
"South Putt-Cific."
145
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:06,408
"Putt & Putt's Puttcellent Puttventure"?
146
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,702
No way they got permission for that one.
147
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,287
Oh, my God, Mom, look.
148
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,332
Oh, my Lord, a mini-golf tournament?
149
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,834
Oh, yeah.
This sport's gotten huge.
150
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,128
No one can tell if
it's ironically huge or just huge.
151
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,922
That's my whole thing with you!
152
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,340
But the prize money is real.
153
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,217
First place gets $800.
154
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,052
Mom, you could totally win this.
155
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,512
Oh, my Lord, we might do more
156
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,930
than break even on this vacation.
157
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,181
We might make some money.
158
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,642
Oh, Myrtle Beach is magical!
159
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,855
These guys all use the same playbook.
160
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,233
Step one, the razzle dazzle.
161
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,905
Are you pumped?
'Cause I am pumped.
162
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,532
-Whoo!
-Snap out of it.
163
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,326
Do not pay any attention
to this time-share Fonzarelli.
164
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,370
They get you hyped up,
and before you know it,
165
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,829
you're signing your life away.
166
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,374
Now just train your eyes
on that beautiful view
167
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,709
-and don't let him in your head.
-Got it.
168
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,169
Focus on the view,
169
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,171
not the super cool guy
who has a hoverboard
170
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,674
and probably everything else I want.
171
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,219
Hey, is it bright in here,
or is that just our futures?
172
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:10,097
Let's make it a little bit
more intimate, shall we?
173
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,932
-Yeah.
174
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,351
Well, I'll be damned.
175
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,436
This guy's a pro.
176
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,070
Okay, hi, everybody.
177
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,363
My name is Craig.
178
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,489
That's a lie.
179
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:29,366
And welcome to Myrtle Beach.
180
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,035
-Isn't this place magic?
-Y'all ready for this?
181
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,538
Ah.
182
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,709
Oh, hell no. Balloon magic?
183
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,502
He's got his finger on the pulse.
184
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,379
Just remember, the real magic trick
185
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,006
is separating you from your money.
186
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,758
Don't you worry.
I got all my wits about me.
187
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:50,429
I... Oh, my God!
Is he swallowing that balloon?
188
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,598
I-I mean, psych.
189
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,433
I find this dumb.
190
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,226
Just a silly magic...
191
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,061
Is it completely gone?
192
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,772
-I-I mean, who cares?
193
00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:02,482
I'm not even remotely curious
194
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,776
how he could make that whole balloon
195
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:07,779
leave our dimension!
196
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,950
Tim Cupp here with the Mini Golf Network.
197
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:14,536
Well, it's a beautiful day
for mini golf, folks.
198
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,830
The giants of this sport are all here
199
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:18,832
and, of course, so many walk-ons.
200
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,877
Will this be the year
an unknown upends the sport?
201
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,670
I'm Jenny Hart.
202
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,422
I'm a walk-on, I guess.
203
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:29,218
Well, well, well, this little lady
must be lost.
204
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,053
This is a golf tournament,
205
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,722
not a Sex and the City
viewing party.
206
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,225
Oh, my God.
There's seriously sexism in a sport
207
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:38,519
as non-strength-dependent as mini golf?
208
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,187
Now, Beau, let's let her try.
209
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,523
Hey, I'm Gus.
I designed this course.
210
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:45,400
No woman has ever won it,
let alone a walk-on.
211
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:49,446
No offense, but when females
play mini golf, they lose focus.
212
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,365
You know, they get all up in their heads
213
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,450
thinking about their pocketbooks
214
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,161
and Sex and the City episodes.
215
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:57,913
Their minds are too weak.
216
00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,540
Toddlers play this sport.
217
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,334
You literally write your score down
with a doll pencil.
218
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,794
Just put me down for a hole in one
219
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,462
-on the first hole.
220
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:06,797
Yeah, right.
221
00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:10,676
-Huh?
-Huh?
222
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,944
Now the time has come
to talk about something serious.
223
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,655
He's about to hit us
with the emotional appeal.
224
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,408
He's gonna yank so hard
at your heartstrings,
225
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,035
-you'll feel it in your butt.
-Bring it on.
226
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,497
Family. Heart. Emotion.
227
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,875
Fun. Love.
228
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,960
How many people here love their families?
229
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:47,171
Ah!
-I do. I love my family.
230
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,006
Babies. Animals.
231
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,592
Baby animals being friends.
232
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,677
Oh, Lord.
I'm feeling it in my butt.
233
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,138
Oh, I got to stop this.
I have a question.
234
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,223
How much does this all cost?
235
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,516
Well, um...
236
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,393
Um... Um...
237
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,729
Now I'm in the driver's seat.
238
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,606
Um... Well, um...
239
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,441
Price.
240
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,484
That's a big word, price.
241
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,486
So let's talk about prices.
242
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:13,363
Money. Dollars.
243
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,033
Medical. Things that cost.
244
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,409
Mmm-hmm.
245
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,994
Hey, how many of you guys like Starbucks?
246
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,704
Ah!
-I do! I love it.
247
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,916
But what do you think you spend
on coffee every week?
248
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:27,586
-$500, $600?
Uh-huh.
249
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,463
Now, what if you could
take that coffee money
250
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:32,549
and use it to build real memories?
251
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,968
Because for the price
of just 21 coffees a day,
252
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:38,472
you could own a happy family.
Yours.
253
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,891
Wow!
254
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,373
I saw a werewolf
255
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,708
With a Chinese menu in his hand
256
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,586
Walking through the streets
257
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,547
Of Soho in the rain
258
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,758
He was looking for the place
259
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:16,051
Called Lee Ho Fook's
260
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:21,807
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein
261
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,100
Ah-ooh
262
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,436
Werewolves of London
263
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,188
Ah-ooh
264
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:30,357
Mom, you're 15 strokes ahead.
265
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,735
-You're gonna win that $800.
-Violet, remember these?
266
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:36,196
Please let me get us matching necklaces
267
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,656
just like when you were little.
268
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,449
"You're one in a million."
269
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,952
Oh, my God. Those are so cheesy.
270
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,621
-I love them.
-Okay, now, see, there it is again.
271
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:47,249
-So you hate them?
-No, I just said I love them.
272
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,709
I know, but that tone.
273
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,210
Can you just trust my words?
274
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,588
Little lady's trying on jewelry,
275
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,965
but she should be getting ready
for the final hole.
276
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,508
I was born ready, Beau.
277
00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,719
And, last time I checked,
I was kicking your butt.
278
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,721
Don't get too cocky, hon.
279
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,347
The last hole is a killer.
280
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,349
-Isn't it, Gus?
-That's how I made it.
281
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,018
Hey, how about y'all sit this one out?
282
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,520
I don't want all the female
stomping and crying
283
00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:10,314
to damage my Astroturf.
284
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,607
Oh, I'll be fine, Gus.
285
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,275
Just gonna finish buying our jewelry
286
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,861
so I can look all pretty
in the winner's photo.
287
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,237
How much for the necklaces?
288
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:18,614
Oh, they're three dollars each
289
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,491
or 15,000 arcade tickets.
290
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,076
Gentlemen,
291
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,872
welcome to the hardest hole ever designed.
292
00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:30,792
"The Invinci B-hole."
293
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,586
It's pronounced "Invincib'hole."
294
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,172
-Well, it looks like "B-hole."
-Well, it's not, okay?
295
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,845
Huh?
A straight line?
296
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,305
What the hell is this?
297
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,265
On this hole, you must face
298
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,685
the biggest obstacle of all,
your own mind.
299
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,939
-$800
-I'm gonna do a kick in the air
300
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,440
-For $800
-$800
301
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,943
-And then punch!
-800, 800
302
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:00,781
-Oh!
-Son,
303
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,450
I can't keep swooping in
and saving your ass.
304
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:05,327
Betty, we've been in here for so long,
305
00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,079
and I'm-I'm starving.
306
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:10,332
We've only got ten more minutes,
and we have beaten this guy.
307
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,708
Dig deep.
308
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,710
Think about Jenny.
309
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,587
You guys not interested
in the free cookies?
310
00:13:15,671 --> 00:13:17,589
Watching our figures.
311
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,511
Hey, tell you what.
I'm not supposed to do this,
312
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:24,680
but I happen to know where there is
313
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,765
some Starfish Vineyards white zin.
314
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,393
Don't mind if I do.
315
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,020
Won't that wine loosen you up too much?
316
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,356
Does the ocean drown a fish?
317
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:37,526
I can handle a little victory wine.
318
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,698
Big Beau Preston
lines up the shot.
319
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:46,451
Boy, there is so much pressure
on this b'hole.
320
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,039
And he nails it!
321
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:54,376
Next up, Jenny Hart.
322
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,004
Let's see how a lady handles the pressure.
323
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,549
Oh!
324
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,260
Looks like Carrie met her Mr. Big.
325
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,304
She just can't tie this one down.
326
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:08,432
Okay, just shake it out, Jenny.
327
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,726
Wait, is it actually hard?
328
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,312
Or is it so easy that it's hard?
329
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,439
What? No!
Don't overthink it, Mom.
330
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,566
You got it.
That was a fluke.
331
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,484
Okay, Jenny, okay, just focus,
but don't over-focus.
332
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,069
Breathe.
Or should I hold my breath?
333
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:22,696
What if I get caught up
and hold it for too long?
334
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,531
Oh, God, how many breaths
do I usually take?
335
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,658
Am I breathing now?
I don't know. I don't know anymore.
336
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:27,784
Violet, am I breathing right now?
337
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:28,869
Somebody get me a hand mirror.
338
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,954
-Mom! Pull it together.
-Yes, ma'am.
339
00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:43,967
Sandy Christmas!
You know what?
340
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,803
Okay. I'm just gonna ease up to it.
341
00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:52,476
Ooh! Aw! Ooh! Aw! Oh!
342
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:56,188
Son of a b'hole!
343
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,272
It's okay, Mom.
344
00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:58,815
Just try to have fun.
345
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,275
I am having fun!
346
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:01,360
This...
347
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,486
Is...
348
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,946
Fun!
349
00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:07,616
Michelle, I noticed
you have a book in your tote.
350
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:09,993
Where would you rather read,
here in a pool cabana,
351
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,996
or in a seaside hammock
listening to the waves?
352
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,165
Drink service at both locations.
353
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:16,542
Reading on vacation while buzzed?
354
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,585
Ah, you better give me that pen.
355
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,170
-How about you two?
-Aw.
356
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,172
No interest in joining
in the winners circle?
357
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:23,882
-None. Zero.
-Nada.
358
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,343
I bow to a worthy opponent.
359
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,846
Still got your wits about you,
even after all that wine.
360
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,180
Student...
361
00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:33,183
...meet master.
362
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,477
Okay, well, listen,
363
00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,145
I have to keep you here
another ten minutes,
364
00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:39,439
or my supervisor will say
I didn't try hard enough.
365
00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:41,650
You want to take a pee break or something?
366
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:45,279
Yeah. You know what,
I think I will take a victory pee.
367
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,699
Bye, Betty.
368
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,285
That bastard!
He wasn't trying to get me buzzed,
369
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,412
he was trying to fill my bladder!
370
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,747
Now, Wayne, you already know
that I'm an amateur magician.
371
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:59,293
Did you also know that I'm a veteran?
372
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,878
Oh, no.
373
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,464
'Cause I'm proud to be an American
374
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:07,301
Where at least I know I'm free
375
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,261
And I won't forget
376
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:11,305
The men who died
377
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,473
-And gave that right to me
-Wayne! Snap out of it!
378
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:15,809
-And I'll gladly stand up
-Wayne!
379
00:16:15,893 --> 00:16:16,977
Next to you...
380
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,313
Oh, you son of a bitch.
381
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,904
I shouldn't have gone to pee.
382
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,198
That's a rookie mistake.
That's the one thing
383
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:31,408
that crazy jilted astronaut lady
got right, though,
384
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,701
she wore a diaper.
385
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,453
Betty, I didn't sign.
386
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,413
-What?
-I followed your advice.
387
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,498
I focused on giving Jenny and Violet
388
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,626
the life they deserve, and it worked!
389
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,252
Well, what do you know!
390
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,922
Wayne, I am sorry
I mis-underestimated you.
391
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,300
I'd go into a time-share foxhole
with you any day.
392
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,886
Same. All right,
I'm gonna go enjoy the room.
393
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:53,222
We only have it for 11 more hours.
394
00:16:53,305 --> 00:16:56,225
Oh, boy, did you guys play it right.
395
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:57,726
They gotcha, didn't they?
396
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,311
Hook, line and sinker.
397
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,688
But it won't be terrible.
I mean, it pays for itself
398
00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:02,981
in three to five years.
399
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,608
And my family will love this place
400
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,235
and its amenities.
401
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,905
Amenities?
Lord, now you sound like one of 'em.
402
00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,243
You're one of 'em!
403
00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:16,870
Judas! You're trying
to close me right now.
404
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,122
Damn. You are good.
405
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,874
Can't blame me for trying, though.
406
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:22,751
Would have been a sweet, sweet commission.
407
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:26,755
This might be a rude question,
but hell, I don't care.
408
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,841
What's the going rate
for roping all these dopes?
409
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,133
Low six figures.
410
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,135
Now, I've been burned by this before.
411
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,596
-Does that include the cents?
-Nope.
412
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,974
Nice work if you can get it.
413
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,725
I could introduce you to some people.
414
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:40,394
I mean, you got what it takes.
415
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:43,230
I could do a weekend here,
a weekend there.
416
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,815
Probably make a mint.
417
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,441
Girl, yes!
418
00:17:46,525 --> 00:17:50,070
And the best part is,
you get your own condo here!
419
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,196
For free?
420
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,406
Hundred percent.
421
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,199
You just put down a small deposit,
422
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,201
and they just take the rest
out of your paycheck.
423
00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,786
-She sold me!
-What?
424
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,371
Got me in a play-for-pay scam.
425
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,665
I was so wrapped up
in the fantasy of getting rich,
426
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,625
I didn't realize I was getting sold.
427
00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:05,127
There's got to be a way to get out of it.
428
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,962
Oh, there's no getting out of it.
429
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,839
That bitch played me like a fiddle.
430
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:11,300
All this time I thought you
were the weak link,
431
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,926
and it turns out I was.
432
00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:15,637
Betty, we can get through this.
All we have to do
433
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:19,433
is just drink 19 fewer cups
of Starbucks a day.
434
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:23,187
Hmm.
435
00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:25,230
Mom, come on.
436
00:18:25,314 --> 00:18:26,815
Don't give up on yourself.
437
00:18:26,899 --> 00:18:29,234
I wanted this to be
a special beach trip for us,
438
00:18:29,318 --> 00:18:30,569
just like the old days.
439
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,029
But now you're just gonna remember it
440
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,114
as the trip where I made a fool of myself
441
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:36,575
and gave those goobers
the satisfaction of beating a woman.
442
00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:38,660
-Mom, forget about them.
-Just get my ball.
443
00:18:38,744 --> 00:18:40,871
I'd rather forfeit than beef it anymore
444
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,998
in front of these dip-rods.
445
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,919
-What the...
446
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:50,088
Mom.
447
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,090
Look.
448
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,301
They're using magnets on you.
449
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,136
-What?
-It's totally Gus.
450
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:59,515
He's got some Scooby-Doo crap
going on so his buddy can win.
451
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,934
I'm gonna wrap this club
around his sunburned neck!
452
00:19:02,017 --> 00:19:03,018
Wait, wait. Mom.
453
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:04,853
What if you just won?
454
00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:07,523
How can I?
There's magnets. It's impossible.
455
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,733
Not if you drop it from the top.
456
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:12,861
I would have to bank it off the windmill,
457
00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:15,322
then the airplane,
and try to ladder it up to that tree,
458
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,074
and then hope it still had enough spin
459
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,575
to roll up that branch.
460
00:19:18,659 --> 00:19:20,786
Oh, honey, that is a million-to-one shot.
461
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,871
Well, you are one in a million.
462
00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:24,331
Your necklace says so.
463
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,001
Last time I checked, it was Tiger Woods,
464
00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:30,671
not Lady Tiger Woods.
465
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,178
Whoa!
466
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,356
B'holy cow!
467
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:53,235
Lady golfer Jenny Hart
wins the tournament!
468
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,362
I did it!
469
00:19:57,406 --> 00:20:00,701
Mmm, mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm, mmm.
470
00:20:00,784 --> 00:20:02,494
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
471
00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,997
Okay, so, what's the plan?
472
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,126
Oh!
473
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,212
Manager!
474
00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:13,922
I need a manager right now!
475
00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:15,048
Yes, ma'am. How may I...
476
00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:16,341
My common-law son-in-law
477
00:20:16,425 --> 00:20:17,885
slipped on a pineapple wedge,
478
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:20,470
and now he's drowning in your lazy river.
479
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:23,223
I should sue your ass
for gross negligence.
480
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,142
Help! I-I can't swim!
481
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,311
Sir, if you'll just stand up,
482
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,689
you'll see that the water
is only four feet deep.
483
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:35,569
Wait.
484
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,029
Is this a poo?
485
00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:39,281
Oh, my God, there's so many poos in here!
486
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,658
Riddle me this. How many floating dooks
487
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,620
does it take to annul a time-share?
488
00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:47,831
Yeah, no, seriously,
there's, like, 30 turds in here.
489
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,045
Jenny, I am so proud of you.
490
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,881
I got out of the time-share,
and we won $800?
491
00:20:55,964 --> 00:20:57,883
This is the best vacation ever.
492
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,551
And I'm not even being ironic.
493
00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:01,094
Aw.
494
00:21:01,178 --> 00:21:02,179
Let's see...
495
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,430
What do winners eat?
496
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,474
Aye, aye, aye.
497
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:06,975
Oh, no.
498
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,438
Welcome to Myrtle Beach magic.
499
00:21:11,522 --> 00:21:13,065
I'm Randy's cousin, Sandy,
500
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,359
who lives in Myrtle Beach, my babies.
501
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,069
No, you're not, Randy.
502
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:18,403
Presto!
503
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,906
It was Randy the whole time!
36366
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