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1
00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:05,339
Lord, Wayne, your barbecue
smells like sheer heaven.
2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:06,757
Yeah, it does.
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,258
Uh-uh, get out of here, bird.
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,968
Can somebody pass the lettuce?
5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,929
You know, the one food on this table
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,140
that never had thoughts
or feelings or a face?
7
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,643
Violet, hush. Wayne's barbecue is magical.
8
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,562
Oh, she's just going through
her vegetarian phase.
9
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:24,525
Not a phase.
Unless caring about murder is a phase.
10
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,693
Violet, honey,
I watched you dip a corn dog
11
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,737
into a can of chili less than a week ago.
12
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,198
Thanks for bringing up
my rock bottom, Mom.
13
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:32,991
I'm five days meat sober.
14
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,077
-Get out of here, bird!
15
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,705
Oh, and by the way, I got an idea
for the ostriches, y'all.
16
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,457
You've heard of the running of the bulls?
17
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,043
Well, get ready
for the running of the birds.
18
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,628
Oh, my Lord, y'all.
19
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,965
We all know Wayne's never gonna
make dime one on any of these schemes.
20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,051
You just wait.
One of Wayne's ideas is gonna hit.
21
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,804
If Wayne wants to be
an entre-pray-newer...
22
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,265
Mmm... Man alive, is this good...
23
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,350
Then he needs to find the thing
that he is good at.
24
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:02,771
Mmm. Mmm! Y'all, this barbecue is just...
Oh, it's melting in my mouth.
25
00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:06,149
And do that thing instead
of all this bird nonsense.
26
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,985
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
27
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,987
Wayne, I know what you should do.
28
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,781
You should enter the cook-off
at this year's Barbecue Festival!
29
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,575
Nah. I know my barbecue's good.
30
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,659
Who needs a top-off?
31
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,411
I do! Hallelujah!
32
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,496
What's the opposite of "hallelujah"?
33
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,082
Here you go. Got one for you... Whoa!
34
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,917
Almost got me.
35
00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,037
-What's wrong, baby?
-The drawing I submitted
36
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,623
to be the logo for
the Greenpoint Barbecue Festival?
37
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:03,749
It won.
38
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,251
Well, Violet, that's great.
39
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,961
"Go ahead and eat me,
40
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,964
"but remember I'm as smart
as a human toddler!"
41
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:14,009
Gram, look what they did.
They took out the thought bubble.
42
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,053
Thank God.
43
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,387
They censored me.
44
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,390
How can my art provoke
with a fascist boot on my neck?
45
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,477
Wait. Rick Ocean and the Sandbars?
46
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,938
Oh, Vi. Do you know the song
47
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,898
I Found Her Flip-Flop on the Beach?
48
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,526
If I say no, can we go back to my thing?
49
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:34,112
Rick Ocean and the Sandbars
are the international kings
50
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,948
of Carolina beach music.
51
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,616
With all their hit songs...
52
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,368
Beach Music, Sand Music Beach,
53
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,370
You Bring the Beach... Parentheses...
54
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,788
I'll Bring the Music.
55
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,623
Life's a Beach And Then You Swim...
56
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,375
-Parentheses... The Music Song.
57
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:50,045
And of course, B-E-A-C-H... Parentheses...
58
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,713
That's How I Spell Music.
59
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:56,134
You know, I am very close,
intimate friends
60
00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:59,221
-with Rick Ocean.
-And cue the gross story.
61
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,182
He was my first real romance
after Ed died.
62
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,227
I was in a hole so deep,
I thought I'd never get out.
63
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,770
Rick's touch healed me.
64
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,273
For over a decade,
we've been like two ships
65
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,109
that pass in the night.
And circle back around to ram
66
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,988
into each other like the Titanic
and that iceberg.
67
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,823
Violet?
68
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,951
Okay, barbecue fans,
it's time to get fired up
69
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,412
for Dips, Drizzles and Dunks!
70
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,831
With the am-bro-ssador of bro-b-cue,
71
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,958
Chip Scoville!
72
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,470
I'm feeling the tang.
73
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:44,766
I'm tasting that funkalicious cardamom.
Your sauce...
74
00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,771
-...is boss!
75
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,984
-He got the bro fingers!
76
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,820
Chip hands those out, like,
once an episode, maybe.
77
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,947
That must be some funktastic aioli.
78
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:03,493
Oh, man. I love Chip so much.
He is the bad boy of flavor.
79
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:07,206
Wayne, no offense to Chip,
but he just comments on flavors.
80
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,707
You are a flavor maker.
81
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,835
And look what it says right here,
deadline is tomorrow.
82
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,379
It's not too late.
We can sign you up right now.
83
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:16,882
You know, my barbecue takes
a lot of preparation,
84
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,967
and I simply do not have the time.
85
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,719
I saw this documentary about a guy
86
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,971
who tried to run a marathon
without the proper preparation,
87
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,891
and he ran 90 yards,
crapped his pants, and died.
88
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:30,604
But, Wayne, if you don't do this, that man
will have crapped and died for nothing.
89
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,315
But, Jenny, if I do enter,
you're gonna have two deaths
90
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,567
and two craps on your hands.
91
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:41,865
-Jenny.
92
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:45,494
How could you be so sad
with your boo making barbecue this good?
93
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,121
You know, Wayne should enter
that barbecue contest at the festival.
94
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,457
That's what I told him.
But he won't budge.
95
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,417
There's no way he's gonna
enter that contest.
96
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,504
Jenny, do you know the parable
of the footprints in the sand?
97
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,215
Oh, yeah.
That Dateline about that newlywed couple
98
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,217
who were supposed
to be on a perfect vacation,
99
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,261
but then the husband
pushed the wife off a balcony,
100
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,388
and his alibi was that they were
going for a walk on the beach,
101
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,224
but there was only one set of footprints,
102
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,309
'cause he was dumping her body?
103
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,061
No, but that was a good one.
104
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,230
-It's always the husband, right?
-Right?
105
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,023
-I still watch.
-Me too!
106
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,441
No, the footprints story
I'm talking about...
107
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:18,068
I'm surprised you don't know this.
108
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,028
It's on, like, posters
and, like, crocheted stuff.
109
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,864
Anyway, the one
I'm talking about is the one
110
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,657
where this guy
was going through a hard time
111
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,660
and only saw one set of footprints
and thought I had abandoned him, but,
112
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,871
spoiler alert, I was carrying him.
113
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,999
Oh, I get it. You're saying
I need to use my one set of footprints
114
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,001
to enter Wayne in the contest
behind his back!
115
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,544
That's a great idea!
116
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:39,590
No. The story's not about doing
something behind somebody's back.
117
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,300
Yeah, I think it is.
118
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,343
Mmm... I think no.
119
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,928
Well...
120
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,764
-Yeah...
-No...
121
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:53,687
Welcome to the 23rd Annual
Greenpoint Barbecue Festival,
122
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,940
where we show
all of North Carolina that you can't
123
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,777
spell "barbecue" without
some of the letters in "Greenpoint."
124
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,697
Gram, it's just, it's too much Wind Song.
125
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,034
Baby, you got to lure a man
with his senses.
126
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:11,872
And Rick Ocean's senses have
to overcome a park full of roasting swine.
127
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,875
Now, why is it that you're
wearing a full leather jumpsuit
128
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,793
at an outdoor festival in the summer?
129
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:22,508
I call this outfit my man catcher.
It goes effortlessly from day to night.
130
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,135
This getup was
scientifically formulated, y'all,
131
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:29,806
to catch one super fine bass player
by the name of Rick Ocean.
132
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,143
Wait. The band is named after him,
but he's not the lead singer?
133
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,145
'Cause his fingers are that good.
134
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:40,567
And his thumb is so calloused,
it could hammer a nail into sheetrock.
135
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:41,985
Ew.
136
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,320
Oh. Ew!
137
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,699
No.
138
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:49,535
No!
139
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,120
No!
140
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,708
Ooh. I haven't eaten in 36 hours
in preparation to eat the best barbecue
141
00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,544
North Carolina has to offer.
142
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,045
Wayne!
143
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,965
What is this over here in this area?
144
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,800
Why is Leonard at that booth?
145
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:06,885
Congratulations, you're in the contest!
This is your booth.
146
00:07:06,969 --> 00:07:07,970
Get cooking. Yay!
147
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,763
-Jenny...
-I entered you in the contest.
148
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:12,140
Yay! What a fun thing I did. Yay!
149
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:15,143
You should've told me you were doing this,
so I could've said no.
150
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,895
Wait, I did say no.
151
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:20,357
Come on, Wayne. We got all your supplies.
152
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,317
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
153
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,444
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
154
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:27,197
-No, no, clap on the word.
-Uh-uh. Follow me.
155
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,615
Wayne's 'cue!
156
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,451
Wayne's 'cue! Wayne's 'cue!
Wayne's 'cue!
157
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:38,083
Well, I thought about it,
and something dawned on me.
158
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:41,753
I'm a grown-ass man,
and I don't have to be here.
159
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:44,131
Well, you know, since
we're already signed up, uh,
160
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,300
-I guess I got to cook it myself.
161
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:49,761
I'll just grab some of these
flavor dust sprinkles...
162
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,471
Jenny, you know that's called rub.
163
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,015
Uh-oh.
164
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:56,351
That's probably too much.
Well, that's okay.
165
00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,396
I'm just gonna rinse it off,
but what do I have for that?
166
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,648
Oh, perfect, baby wipes.
167
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:05,194
And I'll just cut it into cubes,
and boil it gray.
168
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,738
Jenny, I know that's reverse psychology,
169
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:11,617
and I'll tell you right now,
I never don't fall for it.
170
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,368
Give me those tongs.
171
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,497
I'll take a white zin on the rocks,
172
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:20,042
-and make it a home pour.
173
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,753
There she is, my Betty.
174
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,506
Mmm. Zip!
175
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:29,301
Even though I was standing
next to a porta-potty
176
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,595
and a mini-dumpster
of pig remains in the heat...
177
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:34,139
-Zip!
-...you made sure I found you.
178
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,141
Señor Oceano.
179
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,727
Señorita Corazón.
180
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,355
Come on.
Let's go back to my dressing cabaña.
181
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:46,944
I can't wait to peel you out of that
Mamma Mia!/ Evel Knievel getup.
182
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,114
Hey. Hey, you.
Your costume was built on lies.
183
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,658
Violet?
-Brenda?
184
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:57,496
Whew! That feels good.
It's hot as hell in this pig suit.
185
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,206
What's got you so upset, girly?
186
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,500
This. I was censored.
187
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,419
Oh, man, that is some total bullcrap.
188
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,296
Girl, you come with me. I got a plan.
189
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,508
-Already?
-Petty retaliation is in my DNA.
190
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,134
It's my superpower.
191
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,345
Now, stop panicking 'cause Auntie Brenda's
192
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,722
gonna help you fix this
the old-fashioned way...
193
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:16,807
Vandalism.
194
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,158
Look at you go, Wayne.
195
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,743
It's a balancing act.
196
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:40,706
Tart, hot, sour, sweet,
and a million unknowables.
197
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,165
I just have to feel it.
198
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,627
It's so fun to carry my boyfriend...
199
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:49,548
Hey, shh. I need total silence
while I work out these ratios.
200
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:58,265
Dropping like a meat-eating meteor,
201
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,727
it's your surprise celebrity guest judge,
202
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,771
Chip Scoville!
203
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,650
Chip Scoville? He's here?
204
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,569
Ugh, where is he getting
those sound effects?
205
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,742
-Wayne, you doing okay?
-Wayne, your vinegar!
206
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,452
My... My ratios!
207
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,333
I love the beach
208
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,792
And the beach loves me
209
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,169
-Uh-huh
-The beachy beach
210
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,214
Music really sets me free
211
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,175
I love the beach, and the beach loves me
212
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:37,179
Listening to beach music
always sets me free
213
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,264
The notes, the rhythm
214
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,183
The treble, the bass
215
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:45,020
That beachy beach music
puts a smile on my face
216
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:48,607
-Beachy beach music, beach music
-Ooh, whoo
217
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,609
Beachy beach music...
218
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,737
Well, well, look what the cat shagged in.
219
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,156
Crystalynn? What are you doing here?
220
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,077
This area is for top-level VIP
entourage only.
221
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,745
Read 'em and weep.
222
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:06,625
I'm with the lead singer,
aka the front man,
223
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,794
Tim Stinson.
224
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,921
Mmm, right. I forgot about him
225
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:16,760
'cause I'm seeing the bass player,
who the band is named after, Rick Ocean.
226
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:20,097
Oh, he just lucked out
'cause his last name happens to be Ocean.
227
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,723
-Whoo-hoo!
-Whoo!
228
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,396
Beachy beach music...
229
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:30,107
Too bad you can't do that, jumpsuit.
230
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:35,654
Good thing I always come prepared.
231
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,906
There's someone special here tonight,
232
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:43,203
someone who is the pearl in my oyster,
the flip to my flop,
233
00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:48,250
the colada to my piña,
Betty Hart, will you join me on stage?
234
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,879
Don't we look good together?
235
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,422
No!
236
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,090
Now, don't you think this pretty lady
237
00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:57,759
should be by my side
for the entire tour, huh?
238
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,094
No!
239
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,721
I want you to be my woman, Betty.
240
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:04,308
What do you say?
241
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:07,519
Can you hand that to Tim Stinson?
242
00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,400
This feels so good.
Toppling the meatriarchy.
243
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,693
Yeah!
244
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,862
Brenda, are you sure
I'm not gonna get in trouble?
245
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:19,406
-Violet, you're gonna be fine.
-Hey, kid!
246
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,782
Get down from there!
247
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:22,492
Oh, crap. Violet, it's the po-po.
248
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,328
I'll create a perversion.
249
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,039
-Don't you mean diversion?
-Not the way I do it.
250
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:32,586
Come on, boys,
winner, winner, Brenda dinner.
251
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,923
We got a streak going, babies.
252
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,508
Randy!
What the hell, Randy?
253
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,926
That's enough, Randy.
254
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:41,929
Well, check out the new tour bus.
255
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,723
It's a sweet ride, honey.
There's a cooler in the console,
256
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,975
perfect for daiquiris,
257
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:48,602
and any medication you might have.
258
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,064
Mmm, I do love an ice-cold Tylenol PM.
259
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:54,733
Not a bad place to hang
for 46 weeks a year.
260
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:55,984
What do you say?
261
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:02,032
I don't know, y'all.
262
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,244
You worried I can't take care of you?
263
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,538
I got a structured settlement coming in
264
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,873
from when I slipped on a shrimp
and hurt my back
265
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,209
on a pontoon boat at Riverfest.
266
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,128
Mmm.
You are pushing all the right buttons.
267
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,591
I have to think about it.
Give me the night.
268
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,010
I say, give me the night!
269
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:27,683
Get ready, pork munchers.
One minute to tongs down.
270
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:30,310
Nope, still not right.
I got to cut the heat that I added
271
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:32,729
to counter the sweet,
that I added to counter the sour
272
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,857
of all that extra vinegar.
Ah, you know what?
273
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,067
Let's just go all ketchup. Damn it, Jenny.
274
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,528
Well, sorry.
275
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,280
-Tongs down!
276
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,241
Your Lord and Flavior is upon you.
277
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,245
Uh...
278
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,038
-Uh...
-Hi, Mr. Scoville.
279
00:13:50,122 --> 00:13:53,000
Wow, that is fun hair.
280
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,752
Seeing it in person, lucky me.
Whoo! And your cologne!
281
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,046
Wow, that is... It's great.
282
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,132
You don't get that aspect on TV, do you?
283
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,633
Anyways, Chip, can I call you Chip?
284
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:04,011
I'm talking too much.
You see, I put Wayne in this position.
285
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,220
This is too long.
286
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,598
Anyways, can you just please
go easy on him?
287
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:13,228
"Easys" are for Sunday mornings,
and last time I checked, it's Bro-derday.
288
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,730
Now hit me with your pork.
289
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,949
Now let's see how it
donkey-kicks my taste-budoodles.
290
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,415
Your sauce...
291
00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:38,212
...is a total loss.
292
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,382
Ugh!
293
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,011
This is the worst day of my life.
294
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:49,848
-Why did you make me do this?
-Oh, Wayne, I'm so sorry.
295
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,860
So, your whole
"footprints in the sand" thing
296
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,487
really blew up in my face.
297
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,697
Wayne is so upset.
298
00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:07,199
Boy, you're really not getting this.
299
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:10,953
You are still on the beach, okay?
You're still living the allegory.
300
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:13,664
So just keep on walking down that beach.
301
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,166
I mean, I carried that guy
a really long way.
302
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,126
My dogs were barking.
303
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,212
You know, maybe I'm not getting
it 'cause I can't picture it.
304
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,464
Were you carrying the guy,
like, fireman style?
305
00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,383
Or, like, a bride over the threshold?
306
00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,760
It was face-to-face,
like how you would carry a toddler.
307
00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:29,179
Really? So, like, with his legs
wrapped around you?
308
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:30,806
And your hands on his butt?
309
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,599
Yeah, we called it
a "Jericho Sleigh Ride."
310
00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,268
It was a pretty standard mode
of transportation back then.
311
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,477
It was a different time.
312
00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,729
Look, just buck up and keep going.
313
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,356
I think I'm finally understanding.
314
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,651
I wasn't carrying him, I was pushing him.
315
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,862
I just wanted him to see how great he is.
316
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:46,864
Or you wanted you to see
317
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,866
-how great he is.
What?
318
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,285
I'm just saying,
maybe Wayne's carrying you.
319
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,120
Maybe you're about to learn something.
320
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,246
Ugh!
321
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,083
How did that guy not know
your hands were on his butt?
322
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,751
Oh, maybe he was asleep?
323
00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:01,587
I mean, that had to be it, right?
324
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:05,924
Otherwise, you'd just be creepily staring
into each other's eyes? Jesus?
325
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,139
You still eating on that?
326
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,849
Well, it's good to the last drop, baby.
327
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:15,642
-I know.
I'm sorry, Wayne.
328
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:18,979
You are so great, and your
frickin' barbecue is so great.
329
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,772
I just wanted you to see that.
330
00:16:20,856 --> 00:16:23,400
Jenny, I'm good.
And I know my barbecue's good.
331
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,235
-Good.
-And I wasn't down on myself
332
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:28,197
until it seemed like
you were down on myself.
333
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,698
I wasn't down on you.
334
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,658
Then why'd you force me into the cook-off?
335
00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:34,494
I guess I did need to prove
something to myself.
336
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,079
Or maybe to Mother?
337
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,416
But your barbecue and you
are already amazing.
338
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,960
I'm just such a dang ding-dong.
339
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:45,255
Jenny, I have a idea.
340
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,430
Oh, Betty,
what the hell are you gonna do?
341
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,602
Goin' beach to beach with my baby
342
00:17:00,479 --> 00:17:03,315
Beach music in a traveling show
343
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:07,277
Sittin' in my car with my baby
344
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:10,989
Beach music on the radio
345
00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,407
Got our beach T-shirts
346
00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:13,492
Oh!
347
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,411
And beach blond hair
348
00:17:16,495 --> 00:17:19,665
Sand in our flip-flops and our underwear
349
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,750
Goin' beach-to-beach
350
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,127
With my beachy beach baby
351
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:27,130
Beach-to-beach with my beachy beach girl
352
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:30,384
All you need is music and a beach
353
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,720
And a man and a lady
354
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:35,013
Beach
355
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,267
So back to see your handiwork?
356
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,853
Yeah. I didn't get to
fill the thought bubble in,
357
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,021
but I think it's still gonna
get my message across...
358
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,898
-Pigs have thoughts and feelings.
359
00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:46,692
Look at that pig!
360
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,361
-He's farting!
A farting pig?
361
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,947
-That's hilarious.
-Oh...
362
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,700
-What?
That funny farting pig
363
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:57,494
is really making me
want to eat more barbecue.
364
00:17:57,578 --> 00:18:02,124
Yeah, yesterday I got kind of depressed
thinking about how intelligent pigs are.
365
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:06,670
But this fun drawing
has really lightened the mood.
366
00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:10,632
I thought you didn't eat meat.
367
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:11,967
I just realized something.
368
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,594
Pigs aren't as smart as people.
369
00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,304
They're clearly way smarter.
370
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,472
And if we don't eat them,
they're gonna take over.
371
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,057
True dat.
372
00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:27,900
Betty. Thank the beach.
373
00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:29,818
For a minute,
I thought you weren't coming.
374
00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:32,237
I've thought about it.
I've dreamt about it.
375
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:35,574
You're offering me
a life of glitz and glamour,
376
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:40,329
soft rocking our way through the finest
Native American gambling establishments
377
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:42,080
through all the Southeast.
378
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:45,000
But I'm a star right here in Greenpoint,
379
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,335
the star of my family.
380
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,003
I'm La Toya Jackson,
381
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,255
and they are whoever
those other Jacksons are.
382
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:53,675
My family's my entourage,
and they need me to survive.
383
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:57,346
I can't say I didn't
see this coming, but...
384
00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:08,815
Well, I guess this is it.
385
00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:10,817
Honey, this is not it.
386
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:13,862
You're gonna be wading through
my low tide at...
387
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:17,741
The Durham Craft Beer
and Catfish Bash in September.
388
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,577
See you soon, Mr. Ocean.
389
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:22,996
-Not if I smell you first.
390
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,924
You know what? I got stuff to do.
391
00:19:38,971 --> 00:19:41,306
It's time for Chip
to taste my real barbecue.
392
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,476
Ding-dong doodle, broseef.
393
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,645
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't just barge in here.
394
00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:48,814
Oh, hey.
You're the guy with that vinegar bomb
395
00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:51,358
from yesterday that nearly
threatened my sobriety.
396
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:53,110
Chip, he is such a huge fan.
397
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,280
He's seen every episode
of D3 multiple times.
398
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,407
If he's a true fan,
he's seen the online after show
399
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,117
of Season 4, Episode 3.
400
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,535
"The Meat Diaper Challenge."
401
00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:02,911
If your slather don't stick...
402
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,162
You must acquit.
403
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,289
Blango tango.
404
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:06,790
Hang on, boys.
405
00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:09,585
Looks like we got
a true-blue fanaroo here.
406
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:11,628
It's true, Mr. Bro-sident in Chef.
407
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:13,338
All right. Hand me that pan.
408
00:20:13,422 --> 00:20:15,924
But this better
knock the chain off my wallet.
409
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:21,221
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
410
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,440
Hey, hoss, your sauce...
411
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,610
...is boss!
412
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,156
Oh, yeah
413
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,743
Oh, yeah
414
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:46,038
Oh, yeah
415
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,876
-Oh, yeah
-Chicka, chicka
416
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:54,296
-Baby, you just got bro-fingered.
-Oh, yeah.
417
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:57,841
Chicka, chicka
418
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,096
Well, Jenny, you were right.
419
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:05,891
Wayne's an entre-pray-newer after all.
420
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,184
Here you go. Got one for you.
421
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,061
Right here. Thank you very much.
422
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:12,439
Who knows people were dying for a way
to burn off all that barbecue.
423
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:15,108
-Run, you beautiful beasts!
424
00:21:15,192 --> 00:21:18,737
Devil birds, you'll never
catch me, my babies!
425
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,364
-Oh! It got me!
426
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,782
-Oh, Lord, look away, Violet.
Ooh-ee!
427
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,617
-I've already seen it.
428
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:24,910
Ow!
429
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:28,872
Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ooh.
430
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:30,916
Ow!
431
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,963
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