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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,089 Can't ever remember how many clicks 2 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,842 through fuzz it takes to get to the channel. 3 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,178 -I want to say eight clicks. -It's eight. 4 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,763 Mother, if you're gonna keep sitting out there, 5 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,139 -don't chime in. Wayne, 6 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:15,599 can you get me some more wine? 7 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:16,975 Sure thing, Betty. 8 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,685 Wayne, do not get her that wine. 9 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,812 You do not work for her. Mother, if you want some wine, 10 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,897 -you can come in and get it. -I will not come in. 11 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,065 I just got settled out here 12 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,650 -under the lanai. -Mother! 13 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,402 What? I can't hear you 'cause I'm outside. 14 00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:30,864 Just gonna set it here like a, like a pie cooling. 15 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:32,950 Don't you hand her that wine. 16 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,077 Damn you to hell, girl. 17 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,537 Hi, MayKay Bueller here. 18 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,580 I am supposed to be on vocal rest, 19 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:42,042 but my station in life is to serve Greenpoint. 20 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,336 There is some brewing controversy 21 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,130 revolving around the Morris Culpepper statue. 22 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:50,384 Some people are asking, "Does it glorify tobacco, 23 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,553 "or is it part of our heritage?" 24 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:57,975 Other people are asking, "Should it stay,or should it go?" 25 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,726 Smoking causes cancer! 26 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,312 Remove that statue, ban it, sir! 27 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,689 Statue stays! 28 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,191 That statue needs to come down, like, yesterday. 29 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:09,027 Jenny, a lot of people have strong feelings about that statue. 30 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,654 They think it's part of our history, 31 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,657 like the Wright brothers or Fantasia Barrino. 32 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,701 Maybe so, but smoking is not something 33 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,453 we should be celebrating, statue or otherwise. 34 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,789 I'm just saying, people get awfully riled up 35 00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:22,249 about these things. 36 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,501 Maybe it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. 37 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:25,878 Wayne's right, y'all. 38 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,504 We should let that statue alone. 39 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,891 Damn it to hellfire! 40 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,090 You guys, I've been reading up on Morris Culpepper. 41 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,635 He was insane in all the funnest ways. 42 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,304 He clearly went crazy with all his tobacco money. 43 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,223 He invented a knife for babies. 44 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,266 Stop. He founded a sperm bank 45 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,809 -with only his sperm. Girl. 46 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,896 He had his hip replaced with Liza Minelli's old hip. 47 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,606 Love! Whoa. 48 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,691 He even tried to start a Smoking Olympics. 49 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:33,237 And the footnote says 19 people almost drowned, 50 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,197 but then later died of cancer. 51 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,074 Wait. What? 52 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,953 It says here Morris Culpepper dated Miss Teen Tobacco Leaf, 53 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,038 Betty June Bryant? 54 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,291 -Mother? -Betty? 55 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,419 Yes, it is true, y'all. 56 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,214 Morris and I had a brief dalliance. 57 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,466 The year was 1983, 58 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:59,638 and a 17-year-old beauty queen was discoveredby one Morris Culpepper. 59 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,139 Hello. 60 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,599 I'm Morris. 61 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,687 We had a whirlwind romance. 62 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,523 -Fast cars, 63 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,067 romantic evenings. 64 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,153 He even took me on a factory tour. 65 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:24,371 I was gonna Anna Nicole Smith him and lovingly inherit his millions, 66 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,748 but then things took a tragic turn. 67 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,208 Oh, no. 68 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,085 -He died? -I wish. 69 00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:34,047 No, the tragedy was when I realized I was gonna have 70 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:38,051 to be with him in the biblical way, and I just couldn't do it. 71 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,556 It's my tragic flaw. I just cannot do it 72 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,600 with a rich older guy for the money! 73 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,980 In the end, a younger woman swooped in 74 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,732 -and did what I could not. 75 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,317 Marjune Gamble. 76 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,736 She swooped in the second I dumped him. 77 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,323 And when Morris finally died at age 105, 78 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,700 then weirdly came back to life four days later, 79 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,912 then finally, finally died at the age of 118, 80 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,165 Marjune inherited everything he owned. 81 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,584 That bitch. Is she still alive? 82 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,669 Because if so, she is dead to me. 83 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,006 No one's seen her in years. She's a recluse. 84 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,383 Y'all, I should've been that rich recluse! 85 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:25,599 Well, that was not as dramatic as I had hoped. 86 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,601 We have got to find Marjune Culpepper. 87 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,437 Can you smell it? 88 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,022 A major Grey Gardens situation. 89 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,524 What's a Grey Gardens? 90 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,692 It's a documentary about a crazy old lady 91 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,529 and her unmarried daughter living in squalor. 92 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,947 I think I'm good. 93 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,949 Yeah, I think I can skip that one. 94 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,539 So what do y'all think about all this Culpepper statue business? 95 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,374 I haven't seen this much hubbub 96 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,543 since they put up that gender-neutral gazebo. 97 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,045 Oh, Lord, I know. It's a mess out there! 98 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,714 As far as I'm concerned, they can melt that statue down 99 00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,300 and use it to fix the guardrail on Culpepper Slims Boulevard. 100 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:12,604 ...is... what I heard one... stupid lady say. 101 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:15,899 As I threw her out on her tobacco-hating rear end! 102 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,985 You did not! 103 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,279 That's my girl! 104 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,531 Welcome to the right side of history. 105 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,743 Whoo-hoo. 106 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,375 Ugh. I feel gross. 107 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,043 Aw, Jenny. What happened? 108 00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,421 I lied to a customer and said I was pro-statue 109 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,840 and pro-tobacco in order to land a tip. 110 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,177 I mean, look, I hate that statue and everything it stands for. 111 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,678 I know. Me too! 112 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,306 Smoking took three of my four great-uncles. 113 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:51,143 But I learned a long time ago, when it comes to important issues, 114 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,270 never take a side. 115 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:57,024 But... Take a look at what happens when you agree with people. 116 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,568 Oh, my Lord, Jenny. Are you kidding me right now? 117 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,028 Look at all those Washingtons. 118 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,739 Taking a side really pays well. 119 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:05,616 Yeah, but it feels awful. 120 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:10,287 Well, don't be too hard on yourself. You are keeping the peace. 121 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,081 Yeah. Guess you could say I'm kind of a... 122 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:15,459 Paid ambassador. 123 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,794 But, you know, you don't think maybe 124 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,088 I should just give all this money to charity? 125 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,132 Yeah, but look around. 126 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,967 If we were to give that money to charity, 127 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,387 they'd probably just turn around and give it right back to us. 128 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:30,516 That's true. We would just be eliminating the middleman. 129 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,644 And we could really fix things up around here. 130 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:38,857 And all this cashola sure would look good in Violet's art school fund. 131 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,276 Oh, my God, there's a Lincoln in here! 132 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:46,406 If taking a side pays this well, taking both sides would pay double well. 133 00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,535 Hmm. 134 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,286 Welcome to The Last Supper. 135 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,414 Would you like to sit in the pro-statue or anti-statue section? 136 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,628 History? That statue wasn't put up till 2002! 137 00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,256 I've got bras that are more historical than that. 138 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,844 First they knock down our statues. Where does it end? 139 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,555 Pretty soon they won't let cartoon characters smoke on TV. 140 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,056 Ain't that the truth. 141 00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:23,735 I got bills to pay and my home's a rental 142 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:26,154 Dealing with a problem that's monumental 143 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:29,449 Got to knead both sides if you want to make some bread 144 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,744 So take your opinions and stuff 'em down 145 00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:35,330 Print bumper stickers to sell in town 146 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:39,459 Why take a stand when you can take the cash instead? 147 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,837 Working 4:00 to 10:00 148 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,464 Turning both sides against the middle 149 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,425 Working 4:00 to 10:00 150 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,343 Who cares if it's hypocritical 151 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,304 Working 4:00 to 10:00 152 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,390 Late shift never felt so shifty 153 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,893 Working 4:00 to 10:00 154 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,438 But the cash is sort of nifty! 155 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,984 -...61, 62. 156 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,986 -It's just so great. -What? 157 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,571 Just how you're totally compromising 158 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,531 your moral integrity and saying a bunch of stuff 159 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:11,283 you don't believe just to make money. 160 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,784 Oh, here we go. 161 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:15,370 Seriously, I'm jealous! I really am! 162 00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:18,123 But then I think, what would I do? 163 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:21,376 And the answer is, ooh, boy. Not that. 164 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,213 Okay, you don't have to be smart about it. 165 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,423 Doing the right thing sometimes hurts. 166 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,091 Hurts so good. 167 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,427 Just like the John Cougar Mellencamp song. 168 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,180 -I love that song. -I know you do and you should. 169 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,432 The Cougs was really onto something. 170 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:39,102 Taking the easy way out isn't always the best thing to do. 171 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,646 Stop. I already feel guilty enough. 172 00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:43,065 I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. Go nuts! 173 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,525 But it is a little weird 174 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:46,568 that you bought those 600 thread count sheets 175 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,195 and still can't sleep at night. 176 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,155 Wonder what that's about. 177 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,157 Okay, Jesus. I get it. 178 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:53,992 Do you? 179 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,827 So, back to the sheets. 180 00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,579 What do those suckers feel like? 181 00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,331 Because this, 20 count. 182 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,291 It used to hold grain. 183 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:08,465 Tell me, y'all, is there a Mrs. Senator? 184 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:10,717 -Gram? 185 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,302 Don't sneak up on your grandmother 186 00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,388 when she's thinking about what could have been! 187 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,766 Well, we were hoping for a less emotionally-charged moment 188 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,560 to tell you this, but... 189 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,062 We found Marjune's address, and we need you to take us there. 190 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,815 Hell, no. Why would I want to go and meet the woman 191 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,567 who got everything I didn't? 192 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:30,070 Because we told you, Gram! It's gonna be a Grey Gardens situation. 193 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,613 Guaranteed sadness. 194 00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,907 It'll be cathartic for you. 195 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:37,911 Marjune Culpepper is a recluse. A sad, widowed recluse. 196 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,163 I prepared a presentation of the spinster-esque horrors 197 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,456 you can expect to see. 198 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:46,086 Like a single, unworn baby shoe with a centipede crawling out of it. 199 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:50,549 Marjune serving high tea to a family of world-weary raccoons. 200 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,509 Followed by a mid-afternoon 201 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:55,512 widow's nap where she spoons the fully-intact skeleton 202 00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,055 of her dead handyman. 203 00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,057 And that's just the tip of the creep-berg. 204 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:02,728 Maybe it would be kind of nice to see the lonely hole 205 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,022 that gold digger dug herself into. 206 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,440 -Yes! -Yay! 207 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,066 But hand to God, 208 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,527 if she's not eating tuna salad off a Frisbee plate 209 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:14,823 and wearing tissue-box shoes, there is gonna be hell to pay, y'all. 210 00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,374 Yeah, I don't even see what the big deal's all about! 211 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,919 Good evening, everyone. 212 00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,378 Settle down. 213 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,088 Please. Settle down. 214 00:10:30,172 --> 00:10:32,382 Thank you all for coming tonight. 215 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:36,470 I called this emergency meeting so we could have a safe place 216 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,972 to try to work through this statue problem. 217 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,432 Look at me! 218 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,518 I'm the statue, babies! 219 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,102 Get out of here, Randy. -No, Randy. 220 00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,729 -No, please. Not tonight. 221 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,233 But it's a carnival atmosphere, babies. 222 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,776 Randy! Get out of here, Randy! 223 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:55,489 Randy, you cannot do fire blowing in here. I'm begging you. 224 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,533 Please, sit down. 225 00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,786 Now, I feel confident that we are gonna be able 226 00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:04,414 to solve this statue issue peacefully tonight. 227 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,875 That statue needs to stay the hell up. 228 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:10,170 If it were up to me, I'd put more cigarettes on that thing. 229 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,464 -As an exotic dancer, 230 00:11:12,548 --> 00:11:15,092 I inhale second-hand smoke all damn day. 231 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,718 Even when I'm on break! 232 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:18,095 Yeah! -And I hate it. 233 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:22,057 I think the statue should stay up. 234 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,852 -Thank you. 235 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,687 What? Really? 236 00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,730 You got a hole in your throat. 237 00:11:28,814 --> 00:11:32,276 Oh, boy. Sounds like we're pretty evenly divided. 238 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,611 How are we gonna settle this? 239 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:35,779 Hold on! 240 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,531 Our waitress at The Last Supper 241 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:40,200 just made some great points about the statue. 242 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,827 We should let her talk. 243 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,204 Oh, you mean Jenny? Oh, yeah. 244 00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:48,125 She has a real solid moral stance on that statue. 245 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,127 -So refreshing. 246 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,838 Yeah. Jenny Hart will settle this stalemate. 247 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:56,133 Yeah, Jenny would never let sleeping dogs lie. 248 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,844 No. Lord, Jenny, no. Remember the tips. 249 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:03,473 Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! Jenny! 250 00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,434 Okay. 251 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:08,687 That statue. Right? 252 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:13,358 I mean, it's, it's so, like, it's-it's there. 253 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,110 You know what I mean. Whenever you're in town 254 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:16,778 in the back of your minds you're just thinking, 255 00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:19,573 "That statue. It's there. It's still there." 256 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:20,908 Yeah. 257 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,159 And I'm mad-glad. 258 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:28,290 That statue is the whole reason I'm here, and why I'm so sad-cited 259 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:32,961 for all the wrong reasons to say that it should be noted 260 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:36,548 -that in regards to the statue... -Hmm? 261 00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:39,885 ...there are very strong opinions on both sides. 262 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,262 Too vague! 263 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:43,388 Be specific! 264 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,932 You got my head spinning! 265 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:46,808 Well, we've all heard a lot of, uh, 266 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:50,020 specific people say, uh, a lot of specific things, 267 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,649 but the time for talking is over. 268 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:56,735 People, it is time for action, question mark? 269 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,863 She's right! It's time for action, exclamation point! 270 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,157 Aw, sit down, you hayseed. 271 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,575 I'm sick of speeches. 272 00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:05,661 They want to destroy something important to us, 273 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,956 therefore, we should destroy our hometown. 274 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:10,374 What? 275 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,835 Yeah, babies! 276 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:17,548 -Wait! No! No, no, no! Stop! 277 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,467 Please, no. 278 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:31,270 I feel so bad. What a disaster. 279 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:32,771 Well, isn't this a stinky pickle. 280 00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:36,191 What a silly old mess. Doo-do-do-doo. 281 00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,235 So then, uh, what's the play here? 282 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,738 Finish the job, burn the place down, split the insurance money? 283 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,324 No. Brenda, you're so silly. 284 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:47,286 The restaurant's closed until further notice. 285 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:50,497 Start scrubbing, y'all. Doo-do-do-doo. 286 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,795 Oh, no, please. 287 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,547 Please not the sarcastic clap. 288 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,008 What? I'm just a slow clapper. 289 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:04,011 2,000 years ago, this is the speed we clapped. 290 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:07,181 But if you're feeling guilty, that's your own conscience. 291 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,932 You know what? No. 292 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,685 I am not gonna feel guilty about this anymore. 293 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,520 I am not the problem. You know what? 294 00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:15,606 This stupid town is the problem. 295 00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:18,692 You don't think that maybe, you kind of maybe 296 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,279 reaped some things that you kind of maybe sort of sowed? 297 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,697 Enjoy cleaning the toilets. 298 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,115 I will enjoy cleaning these toilets. 299 00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:28,327 Those toilets are gonna be clean, just like my conscience. 300 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,578 -Great. -Good, then. 301 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:30,829 -Fine. -Okay. 302 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,915 -Oh, and Jenny... -What? 303 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,166 Don't forget I love you. 304 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:40,172 -She lives in a condo? -She gets to live in a condo? 305 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,217 Oh, God. 306 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,469 This is gonna be some boring-ass bullcrap. 307 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,471 I'm starting to get angry, 308 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,474 'cause two little birdies told me this was gonna be sad. 309 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,100 Relax, Gram. Calm down. 310 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,810 I promise you, 311 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,605 she's gonna be a nightmare portrait of walking dread. 312 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,902 Oh, hello, Betty. 313 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,404 Or not. 314 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,032 I'm definitely getting the Great Barrier Beef, 315 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,159 but I can't decide if I should start 316 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:13,038 with a Boomerang-A-Dilla or an order of Steve Irwings. 317 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,082 I don't feel like treating myself. 318 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,376 I earned half that money by basically saying 319 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,378 I love cigarettes and cancer. 320 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:22,506 So, half an order of Steve Irwings? 321 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,841 G'day, mates. 322 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:28,971 Here's y'all's Bee Gees Breadsticks with some Midnight Oil for dipping. 323 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:31,139 Wayne, I'm afraid I'm just not gonna be able 324 00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,517 to enjoy an authentic Australian feast. 325 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,478 I know. What's the point of having all this extra money 326 00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:38,355 if we're not happy with ourselves? 327 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,858 I think I speak for the restaurant when I say... 328 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,442 That's not a life. 329 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,695 This is a life. 330 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,196 Now what can I get y'all? 331 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,700 Nothing. I think we're just leaving. 332 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,326 Crikey. 333 00:15:51,410 --> 00:15:53,453 Grab that bread, baby. 334 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,664 On it. 335 00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,335 Wow, Marjune. 336 00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:02,963 This is really beautiful. 337 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,507 Some would say not sad in the least. 338 00:16:05,591 --> 00:16:06,925 Thank you. 339 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:10,220 Morris bought me this. He wanted me to have a place of my own. 340 00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:12,139 Please, won't you have a seat? 341 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:16,518 Oh, no. I'm starting to think this is just a regular rich lady place. 342 00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:19,730 I'm horrified. Where are all the Victorian dolls with cracked faces? 343 00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,190 Ugh. And what is that smell? 344 00:16:21,273 --> 00:16:25,694 Oh, it's my eucalyptus soy wax candle by Joanna Gaines. 345 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,571 This is not Grey Gardens. 346 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,489 This is so basic "B" normal. 347 00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,158 It's like we bought tickets to The Conjuring 348 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,911 but ended up in The Movie. 349 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:38,290 She also designed this distressed "Caliente" sign above my oven. 350 00:16:39,541 --> 00:16:44,046 Betty, your granddaughters have very creative minds. 351 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,381 Oh, I think they were expecting you to be 352 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:49,176 a weird, sad shut-in, but as I tried to tell them, 353 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,012 you are clearly a woman who is living her best life. 354 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:55,849 But no one ever sees you, so technically, you are a recluse. 355 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,601 Oh, no. Not at all. 356 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:01,271 Thanks to my inheritance, I travel 48 weeks a year. 357 00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,690 Athens, Berlin, Rome, 358 00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,943 all the towns in Georgia that sound foreign. 359 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:10,531 My goal is to dance on a table with a stranger at least once a week. 360 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:13,367 You know, like that throw pillow says. 361 00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,040 What a mess. 362 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,964 This stops now. Wayne, pull over. 363 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,257 Everybody listen up. 364 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:29,883 Jenny, what are you doing? 365 00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,635 Do you remember what happened last time you made a speech? 366 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,346 Hush. This is the speech I should have made a long time ago. 367 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,682 And by that I mean yesterday. 368 00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:39,059 Citizens of Greenpoint! 369 00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:42,229 I made a mistake before. I wasn't honest, and... 370 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,189 and it caused a riot. I'm sorry. 371 00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:47,818 So now I'm gonna speak from my heart. 372 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,987 I am a proud, lifelong citizen 373 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,239 of Greenpoint, and I have walked by this statue 374 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:56,994 a million times. But until recently, I never thought about what it meant. 375 00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,038 This town may have started as Morris Culpepper's 376 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,915 personal ashtray, but now it is time 377 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:04,543 to open a window, spray some air freshener, people, 378 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,879 and tear this statue down! 379 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:09,047 What do you say? Who's with me? 380 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:11,300 Boo! 381 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:12,926 Your speech didn't convince us! 382 00:18:13,010 --> 00:18:14,553 Now you're too specific! 383 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,390 Okay, you're right. That didn't work. 384 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:19,558 Drive! 385 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:20,642 What was I thinking? 386 00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:21,935 Trying to make this town a better place? 387 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,270 It's just pointless. 388 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,022 I should have kept my big trap shut. 389 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,648 Take me with you, babies! 390 00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:29,568 It's too much of a carnival atmosphere. 391 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:36,617 Marjune, I got to hand it to you, 392 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:41,038 taking care of Morris in his moldy years really paid off for you. 393 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,290 Actually, they were the best years of my life. 394 00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,959 Morris has been gone 20 years now, 395 00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:49,922 but sometimes I still think when I look out that window 396 00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:52,341 I'm gonna see him coming home. 397 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:54,009 Rolling up on his Rascal scooter, 398 00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:58,180 followed by his team of no fewer than six male nurses. 399 00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,973 People complain about second-hand smoke, 400 00:19:00,057 --> 00:19:04,811 but I'd do anything for a lungful of Mo-Mo's fumes right now. 401 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,856 Betty, I know it looks like my life is perfect, 402 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:12,027 but I have a confession, I do get lonely sometimes. 403 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,112 Oh, Lord, I do, too. 404 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,907 Ever since Ed died. 405 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:23,080 It would be nice to have some company for a meal 406 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,207 or one of my vacations. 407 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,626 We are connected through Morris. 408 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,754 Why, I can see why he was so taken with you. 409 00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:33,173 Oh, well, now... 410 00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:35,175 Uh, let me think. 411 00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:37,261 We could make each other very happy. 412 00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:40,973 Well, I think we could have a very satisfying arrangement. 413 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:49,273 Welp, once again, I couldn't trade cheap sexual favors for material gain. 414 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,524 Okay. 415 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:53,902 Now, with Ed, your granddad, it was different. 416 00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:57,656 Ooh, when he walked in the room and gave me that look... 417 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,283 It was like, bam. 418 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,911 Yep, the jets in my girl Jacuzzi really kicked into high gear. 419 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:05,289 Ew. I'm putting my earbuds in. 420 00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:09,293 This is the worst day of my life. 421 00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,765 The statue. It's gone. 422 00:20:23,849 --> 00:20:27,311 Looks like we need a new statue. 423 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:29,688 A robot statue. 424 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,315 Damn it, Randy. No. 425 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:36,195 Ow. Oh! Ow. 426 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:41,325 Thank God there's a little bit of peace in the valley. 427 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,160 I do feel bad for Randy, though. 428 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,912 Yeah, but it's kind of for the best. 429 00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:47,789 Everyone's hatred for Randy brought the town back together. 430 00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,708 There's a GoFundMe page for his medical bills. 431 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,877 -Oh, we should give to that. -I did not give. 432 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,670 But I said I did on Facebook. 433 00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:55,464 -Y'all, can they track that? -Mother. 434 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,841 Hey, I already did my good deed for the year. 435 00:20:57,925 --> 00:20:59,176 Right, Wayne? 436 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,260 You know it. 437 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,063 Welcome home, Mo-Mo. 438 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:25,994 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 33584

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