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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:12,372 ♪ 2 00:01:31,451 --> 00:01:32,285 I wanted to go 3 00:01:32,318 --> 00:01:34,687 someplace special tonight. 4 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,423 Romantic. 5 00:01:37,457 --> 00:01:38,791 If you've met someone wonderful, 6 00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:41,194 then you should spoil them. 7 00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:42,228 It's important to find that 8 00:01:42,261 --> 00:01:42,895 special person 9 00:01:42,929 --> 00:01:45,898 you can be yourself around. 10 00:01:45,932 --> 00:01:46,799 Someone you could spend the rest 11 00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:49,235 of your life with. 12 00:01:49,268 --> 00:01:51,737 This calls for a toast. 13 00:01:51,771 --> 00:01:56,609 Here's to relationships. 14 00:01:56,642 --> 00:02:02,648 To first dates 15 00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:04,817 Would you excuse me 16 00:02:04,851 --> 00:02:05,718 for a minute? 17 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:11,724 Of course. 18 00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:25,838 I'm close 19 00:02:25,872 --> 00:02:27,940 (PHONE RINGING) 20 00:02:27,974 --> 00:02:29,308 Hang on. 21 00:02:29,342 --> 00:02:33,746 (GRUNTING) 22 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,581 What's up, Myles? 23 00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:38,751 He's so cute and smart. 24 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,319 I really like him. 25 00:02:40,353 --> 00:02:41,754 I think he may be the one. 26 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:42,255 What kind of puppy 27 00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:43,589 did you pick out? 28 00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:44,824 Puppy? 29 00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:45,791 The one you're imagining in your 30 00:02:45,825 --> 00:02:47,593 dream house. 31 00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:48,261 I have no idea what you're 32 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,530 talking about. 33 00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:52,565 Boston Terrier 34 00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:53,499 Where are you? 35 00:02:53,533 --> 00:02:55,234 No, don't tell me. 36 00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:56,602 Let me guess. 37 00:02:56,636 --> 00:02:58,538 You're only gonna need one guess. 38 00:02:58,571 --> 00:03:00,306 God I wish you could see this. 39 00:03:00,339 --> 00:03:01,407 This guy's ass is so tight you 40 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,875 could bounce a quarter off of it. 41 00:03:02,909 --> 00:03:04,477 Or something bigger. 42 00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:05,711 Nice visual while I enjoy my 43 00:03:05,745 --> 00:03:07,380 romantic dinner. 44 00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:08,915 Well, my date and I are 45 00:03:08,948 --> 00:03:11,417 sharing a connection, 46 00:03:11,450 --> 00:03:13,452 deep meaningful conversation. 47 00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:14,120 I took him 48 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:17,023 to this amazing restaurant. 49 00:03:17,056 --> 00:03:22,495 Just gave him the red rose. 50 00:03:22,528 --> 00:03:24,363 He's leaving, isn't he? 51 00:03:24,397 --> 00:03:24,864 He just slipped 52 00:03:24,897 --> 00:03:26,432 out the door. 53 00:03:26,465 --> 00:03:28,034 Oh Myles. 54 00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:28,834 Time to initiate 55 00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:31,537 our suicide pact. 56 00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:33,272 I fear the time is upon us. 57 00:03:33,306 --> 00:03:35,007 Death by chocolate? 58 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,642 I'm afraid so. 59 00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:39,545 Text me where you are. 60 00:03:39,579 --> 00:03:42,014 You owe me an orgasm. 61 00:03:42,048 --> 00:03:42,949 I'll make it a double 62 00:03:42,982 --> 00:03:44,350 next time. 63 00:03:44,383 --> 00:03:44,917 Is there gonna be 64 00:03:44,951 --> 00:03:48,654 a next time? 65 00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:51,357 Probably not. 66 00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:52,658 Do you wanna shower at least 67 00:03:52,692 --> 00:03:54,327 before you go? 68 00:03:54,360 --> 00:04:00,333 I didn't break a sweat. 69 00:04:01,801 --> 00:04:07,807 (PIANO BAR MUSIC) 70 00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:11,677 Geez. 71 00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,713 Nice place. 72 00:04:13,746 --> 00:04:15,448 It was before my date left me. 73 00:04:15,481 --> 00:04:16,048 Here, 74 00:04:16,082 --> 00:04:18,084 this will cheer you up. 75 00:04:18,117 --> 00:04:19,418 What's this? 76 00:04:19,452 --> 00:04:21,654 It's your birthday present. 77 00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:22,288 My birthday 78 00:04:22,321 --> 00:04:23,522 isn't for two months yet. 79 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:24,590 I know, i figured you could use 80 00:04:24,624 --> 00:04:27,393 a little "happy" now. 81 00:04:27,426 --> 00:04:30,329 Hello. 82 00:04:30,363 --> 00:04:31,831 You got my favorite! 83 00:04:31,864 --> 00:04:34,800 Of course. 84 00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:35,601 Don't get too excited, 85 00:04:35,635 --> 00:04:39,071 it's not much. 86 00:04:39,105 --> 00:04:43,676 Don't get all emotional on me. 87 00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:45,745 You do have a sentimental side. 88 00:04:45,778 --> 00:04:46,746 That's the day we met. 89 00:04:46,779 --> 00:04:47,680 I made two of them. 90 00:04:47,713 --> 00:04:51,717 One for you and one for me. 91 00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:52,985 I just wanted to do something 92 00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:54,053 that you would like. 93 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,087 Don't make me regret being nice, 94 00:04:55,121 --> 00:04:56,355 alright. 95 00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:58,758 Enough of this sappy crap. 96 00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:00,059 Here is to Men. 97 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:02,028 Fuck them. 98 00:05:02,061 --> 00:05:03,963 To finding the perfect man. 99 00:05:03,996 --> 00:05:05,898 To friends. 100 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,400 To relationships. 101 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:13,406 Being single. 102 00:05:14,874 --> 00:05:15,408 Do me a favor. 103 00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:16,609 Don't let me die alone. 104 00:05:16,642 --> 00:05:17,309 You're not gonna be alone. 105 00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:18,110 I'm gonna be there holding a 106 00:05:18,144 --> 00:05:21,447 pillow over your face. 107 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,548 This is to the hangovers we're 108 00:05:22,581 --> 00:05:23,649 gonna have tomorrow. 109 00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:24,917 So we agree? 110 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,652 To being hungover? 111 00:05:26,686 --> 00:05:27,753 No. 112 00:05:27,787 --> 00:05:29,455 That we won't grow old alone. 113 00:05:29,488 --> 00:05:31,857 I'm never gonna be alone. 114 00:05:31,891 --> 00:05:33,659 In fact, I'm already drafting a 115 00:05:33,693 --> 00:05:34,627 list in my head of all the things 116 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,562 I'm gonna do to our waiter. 117 00:05:36,595 --> 00:05:37,563 Most of them are still illegal in 118 00:05:37,596 --> 00:05:39,465 forty-two states. 119 00:05:39,498 --> 00:05:41,901 Hey. 120 00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:43,569 Hey, I'm serious. 121 00:05:43,602 --> 00:05:44,603 Come on, you know that I'm always 122 00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:46,472 gonna be here for you. 123 00:05:46,505 --> 00:05:47,173 Alright, I can tell you're 124 00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:50,576 obsessing over this already. 125 00:05:50,609 --> 00:05:52,078 I'll make you a deal. 126 00:05:52,111 --> 00:05:53,412 If in ten years we're both still 127 00:05:53,446 --> 00:05:54,180 single and neither of us have 128 00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:56,982 found anybody, 129 00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:57,783 we'll be boyfriends. 130 00:05:57,817 --> 00:05:58,584 A couple. 131 00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:02,188 Together, forever. 132 00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:05,057 A backup plan 133 00:06:05,091 --> 00:06:05,825 You're serious? 134 00:06:05,858 --> 00:06:06,892 Sure. 135 00:06:06,926 --> 00:06:08,661 Here, you're the one who's going 136 00:06:08,694 --> 00:06:10,996 to school to be a fancy attorney. 137 00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:11,864 Write something up, 138 00:06:11,897 --> 00:06:12,498 I will sign it. 139 00:06:12,531 --> 00:06:15,668 Make it legally binding. 140 00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:17,903 So I have ten years then? 141 00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:19,705 To find love before you're, 142 00:06:19,739 --> 00:06:22,908 thirty-five. 143 00:06:22,942 --> 00:06:24,176 Here's to being in love. 144 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:30,182 Here is to ten years of freedom. 145 00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:53,873 You happy now? 146 00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:59,879 Unbelievable. 147 00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:10,856 ♪ 148 00:07:19,999 --> 00:07:22,168 Here they are. 149 00:07:22,201 --> 00:07:23,736 Made you those appetizers you like 150 00:07:23,769 --> 00:07:26,505 with the imported goat cheese. 151 00:07:26,539 --> 00:07:28,941 Please sit down. 152 00:07:28,974 --> 00:07:29,975 I will. 153 00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:31,944 But, trust me, you don't want 154 00:07:31,977 --> 00:07:34,613 dinner to burn. 155 00:07:34,647 --> 00:07:35,681 It does smell great. 156 00:07:35,714 --> 00:07:36,849 What is it? 157 00:07:36,882 --> 00:07:37,950 It's Eggplant Sorrento. 158 00:07:37,983 --> 00:07:39,118 Are you kidding me? 159 00:07:39,151 --> 00:07:40,085 That's my favorite. 160 00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:40,653 I know. 161 00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:42,254 I called your mother. 162 00:07:42,288 --> 00:07:43,055 You're making my mom's 163 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,824 Eggplant Sorrento? 164 00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:46,091 Well you've been working a lot recently, 165 00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:46,959 so I thought it would be nice 166 00:07:46,992 --> 00:07:49,228 to do something extra special for you. 167 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,765 I can't believe you called my mother. 168 00:07:52,798 --> 00:07:56,101 That's a tad scary. 169 00:07:56,135 --> 00:07:56,902 Sit. 170 00:07:56,936 --> 00:07:58,571 Relax. 171 00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,272 That's an eighty-six cabernet. 172 00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:06,245 I'll be back in a few. 173 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:14,820 What's up? 174 00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:16,689 Want to watch a movie tonight? 175 00:08:16,722 --> 00:08:17,556 Can't, man. 176 00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:19,124 Got plans already. 177 00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:20,059 They start with a cold beer and 178 00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:21,760 end with a sticky towel. 179 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,596 All the best nights do. 180 00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,730 Looks like it's just you and me 181 00:08:24,763 --> 00:08:26,332 again tonight buddy. 182 00:08:26,365 --> 00:08:26,866 Hey, you're the one that insists 183 00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:28,934 on being straight. 184 00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:29,802 Why don't you just come out 185 00:08:29,835 --> 00:08:30,970 with me tonight. 186 00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:31,637 You give me ten minutes 187 00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:32,938 I will get you an ass so hot 188 00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:33,606 you can eat breakfast, 189 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,808 lunch and dinner off of it. 190 00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:37,309 I prefer my partners not to have 191 00:08:37,343 --> 00:08:39,078 the same equipment as me. 192 00:08:39,111 --> 00:08:39,778 Not me. 193 00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:43,215 I prefer the same, or bigger. 194 00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:44,049 Hey, your loss. 195 00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:48,120 (PHONE BEEPS) 196 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,355 Hello David. 197 00:08:49,388 --> 00:08:51,290 Say hello to David. 198 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,858 Is it really that easy for you? 199 00:08:52,892 --> 00:08:54,326 That's the beauty of being a man. 200 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,161 Look, there's no wining and dining. 201 00:08:56,195 --> 00:08:57,630 Five minutes we'll have had a beer, 202 00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,831 fifteen minutes we'll be in the sack, 203 00:08:58,864 --> 00:09:00,132 sixteen minutes I'll be home 204 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,667 watching pay-per-view. 205 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,668 It's amazing, 206 00:09:02,701 --> 00:09:03,903 you should try it. 207 00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:06,238 Well, if you put it that way. 208 00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:08,207 Seriously? 209 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:13,212 Hell no. 210 00:09:13,245 --> 00:09:19,218 ♪ 211 00:09:20,419 --> 00:09:22,054 Someone was hungry. 212 00:09:22,087 --> 00:09:23,722 And thirsty. 213 00:09:23,756 --> 00:09:25,658 Here, taste. 214 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,926 Are you ever gonna sit down? 215 00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:32,932 I'd really like to talk. 216 00:09:33,732 --> 00:09:35,334 Wow. 217 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,936 That is good. 218 00:09:36,969 --> 00:09:38,804 It's exactly how my mom makes it. 219 00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:40,739 Good, now I want to hear all about your day. 220 00:09:40,773 --> 00:09:41,307 Come to the table. 221 00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:43,776 We'll talk over dinner. 222 00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:45,311 I don't even know what to say. 223 00:09:45,344 --> 00:09:47,980 How about, let's eat! 224 00:09:48,013 --> 00:09:53,719 Fine. 225 00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:59,792 (DOORBELL RINGS) 226 00:09:59,825 --> 00:10:03,896 Hi, I'm David. 227 00:10:03,929 --> 00:10:06,031 Hi, I'm Brody. 228 00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:07,366 Nice to meet you. 229 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,334 What is it with you guys 230 00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:09,335 introducing yourselves like you 231 00:10:09,368 --> 00:10:11,403 don't already know who I am. 232 00:10:11,437 --> 00:10:13,672 I mean, you have sent me so many 233 00:10:13,706 --> 00:10:15,074 pictures of yourself that I 234 00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:16,208 probably know you better than your 235 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,844 own doctor does. 236 00:10:18,877 --> 00:10:20,012 I don't know. 237 00:10:20,045 --> 00:10:20,713 Do you have a better way of 238 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,715 greeting someone at the door? 239 00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:24,416 How about, "Hey Brody, 240 00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:28,220 come on in, you want a beer?" 241 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,788 Hi Brody, come on in. 242 00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:30,422 Do you want a beer? 243 00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:32,691 No, I'm good. 244 00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:35,094 You look terrified. 245 00:10:35,127 --> 00:10:36,829 First time on Grindr? 246 00:10:36,862 --> 00:10:38,864 No. 247 00:10:38,897 --> 00:10:40,466 Maybe. 248 00:10:40,499 --> 00:10:41,367 Yeah. 249 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,836 Ok, well, relax, we're gonna have fun. 250 00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:44,737 How about you, 251 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:45,838 do you want a beer? 252 00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:47,439 Actually I'd love one. 253 00:10:47,473 --> 00:10:51,343 Ok. 254 00:10:51,377 --> 00:10:55,347 (BELCH) 255 00:10:55,381 --> 00:10:59,451 Well, that's a nice compliment. 256 00:10:59,485 --> 00:11:00,386 That was amazing. 257 00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:02,087 I'm glad. 258 00:11:02,121 --> 00:11:03,722 How did the client meeting go today? 259 00:11:03,756 --> 00:11:04,590 I hope you got all the, 260 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,958 "I'm thinking of you" texts I sent. 261 00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:06,492 Yep. 262 00:11:06,525 --> 00:11:10,896 All ten. 263 00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:14,266 You seem a little, tired tonight. 264 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:14,933 Why don't you just 265 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:18,337 take your shoes off, relax. 266 00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:21,373 I'm just, I'm trying to figure 267 00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:23,008 out the best way to talk to you 268 00:11:23,042 --> 00:11:25,144 about something. 269 00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:25,778 As long as it's not, 270 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:29,081 "let's see other people". 271 00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:30,416 Uh. 272 00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,151 You want to see other people. 273 00:11:32,184 --> 00:11:32,718 I'm just thinking that 274 00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:35,854 we're moving too fast. 275 00:11:35,888 --> 00:11:37,423 We've been dating for a month. 276 00:11:37,456 --> 00:11:38,123 I see you 277 00:11:38,157 --> 00:11:38,824 once a week for dinner and sex, 278 00:11:38,857 --> 00:11:40,259 and I do all the work for both. 279 00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:40,692 How is that possibly 280 00:11:40,726 --> 00:11:42,094 moving too fast? 281 00:11:42,127 --> 00:11:42,661 I just want to 282 00:11:42,694 --> 00:11:43,529 pump the brakes a bit. 283 00:11:43,562 --> 00:11:44,363 Well, do you think you could have 284 00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:46,065 pumped them down on a day I didn't 285 00:11:46,098 --> 00:11:47,332 spend cooking an elaborate dinner 286 00:11:47,366 --> 00:11:51,070 and planning erotic massages? 287 00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:56,041 Wow. 288 00:11:56,075 --> 00:11:58,944 Myles, one day, 289 00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:00,412 you are going to make someone 290 00:12:00,446 --> 00:12:03,315 the most amazing husband. 291 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,385 Just not you. 292 00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:12,424 No. 293 00:12:12,991 --> 00:12:14,293 I'm gonna leave. 294 00:12:14,326 --> 00:12:20,299 Yeah. 295 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:32,411 (GRUNTING) 296 00:12:32,444 --> 00:12:34,079 Oh Yeah. 297 00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:36,515 Can I get you that beer now? 298 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,183 You're a quick study. 299 00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:39,218 I like you. 300 00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:40,919 Enough to see me again? 301 00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:41,420 Enough to introduce you 302 00:12:41,453 --> 00:12:43,255 to my friend. 303 00:12:43,288 --> 00:12:44,923 Threesome? 304 00:12:44,957 --> 00:12:46,125 I don't think I'm ready for that, 305 00:12:46,158 --> 00:12:47,126 yet. 306 00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:52,865 Sure you are. 307 00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,033 Myles, say hello to David. 308 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:55,868 Say Hi David. 309 00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:56,869 Hi. 310 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,504 Hello David. 311 00:12:58,537 --> 00:12:59,505 It's always a pleasure meeting one 312 00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:01,273 of Brody's "hookups", especially 313 00:13:01,306 --> 00:13:05,010 after I've just been dumped. 314 00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:06,145 What happened? 315 00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:08,113 Like you have to ask? 316 00:13:08,147 --> 00:13:10,415 You want me to come over? 317 00:13:10,449 --> 00:13:11,884 That depends. 318 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:12,584 Do you like 319 00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:13,552 strawberries infused with cognac 320 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,888 hand dipped in dark chocolate? 321 00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,289 Strawberries and cognac? 322 00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:18,490 Can I come? 323 00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:19,858 You already did. 324 00:13:19,892 --> 00:13:21,393 Twice. 325 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:27,432 I'll be right there. 326 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,505 Since when did you start fucking 327 00:13:33,539 --> 00:13:35,340 Martha Stuart? 328 00:13:35,374 --> 00:13:36,208 One does what one has to, 329 00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:37,876 to get a man. 330 00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,244 I've had a lot of men, 331 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:40,612 I have never injected a strawberry 332 00:13:40,646 --> 00:13:43,015 with cognac before. 333 00:13:43,048 --> 00:13:47,119 Well, not in the literal sense. 334 00:13:47,152 --> 00:13:50,222 It doesn't matter anyway. 335 00:13:50,255 --> 00:13:50,789 I'm done. 336 00:13:50,822 --> 00:13:52,324 I'm in my mid-thirties. 337 00:13:52,357 --> 00:13:53,358 Time to acknowledge the fact that 338 00:13:53,392 --> 00:13:56,295 I'm destined to be a gay spinster. 339 00:13:56,328 --> 00:13:56,995 If the thought of dog hair 340 00:13:57,029 --> 00:13:58,463 everywhere didn't disgust me, 341 00:13:58,497 --> 00:13:59,898 I'd be a gay cliche. 342 00:13:59,932 --> 00:14:00,933 Trust me. 343 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,034 You don't need a small dog 344 00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,502 to be a gay cliche. 345 00:14:03,535 --> 00:14:05,003 Thanks. 346 00:14:05,037 --> 00:14:08,006 Either way, I'm tired and done. 347 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:08,707 I'm sick of chasing men only to 348 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,475 have my heart broken every time. 349 00:14:10,509 --> 00:14:11,977 Ok, enough. 350 00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:12,678 I'm taking you shopping. 351 00:14:12,711 --> 00:14:13,912 If you're going to be single, 352 00:14:13,946 --> 00:14:15,414 you need the proper tools. 353 00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:17,082 I'm afraid of you right now. 354 00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:18,650 You're smarter than you look. 355 00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:21,987 Come on. 356 00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,922 ♪ 357 00:14:23,956 --> 00:14:25,023 If I know you, a kinky evening 358 00:14:25,057 --> 00:14:27,993 of sex means using your left hand 359 00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,361 and your toy arsenal is nothing more 360 00:14:29,394 --> 00:14:31,964 than a two year old jar of lube. 361 00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,265 Being single requires the proper 362 00:14:33,298 --> 00:14:34,533 equipment and there's no better 363 00:14:34,566 --> 00:14:38,303 place to get it than here! 364 00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:39,304 Fleshjack. 365 00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:40,472 Better than a real mouth. 366 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,507 Why? 367 00:14:42,541 --> 00:14:46,144 Because it doesn't speak. 368 00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,946 Dildo - No more gambling 369 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:48,447 with what's on the other side 370 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,448 of the zipper. 371 00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:50,616 Nothing is worse than unwrapping 372 00:14:50,649 --> 00:14:51,550 the whopper only to find they 373 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,585 skimped on the pickle. 374 00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:54,686 Now you can come home to 375 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,290 Jeff Stryker every night. 376 00:14:58,323 --> 00:15:00,092 Mini projector. 377 00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,360 Now, you can watch your favorite 378 00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:05,163 pornos in HD above your head! 379 00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:06,565 I can see you've done extensive 380 00:15:06,598 --> 00:15:08,000 research on the subject. 381 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:08,800 Hey. 382 00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:09,468 I may not be good at many things, 383 00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,169 but the things I'm good at, 384 00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,571 I'm an expert in. 385 00:15:12,604 --> 00:15:16,108 Minty Fresh. 386 00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:21,213 Here. 387 00:15:21,246 --> 00:15:22,748 Richard. 388 00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:23,448 Thank you very much, 389 00:15:23,482 --> 00:15:29,454 enjoy sir. 390 00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:30,222 I can't believe 391 00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:31,490 you make me eat here. 392 00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:32,324 Are you kidding? 393 00:15:32,357 --> 00:15:32,891 Everyone knows the best food in LA 394 00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:34,593 comes from food trucks. 395 00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:37,029 Yeah, so does E. Coli. 396 00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:41,733 Hey, I got you something. 397 00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,336 Its a sex toy. 398 00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:46,038 If this goes where I think it goes, 399 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:46,605 you and I are gonna have 400 00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,373 a big problem, buddy. 401 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,274 It doesn't. 402 00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:49,908 Trust me, 403 00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:50,776 you're going to like this. 404 00:15:50,809 --> 00:15:54,112 I went shopping with Myles last night. 405 00:15:54,146 --> 00:15:54,780 I was trying to cheer him up, 406 00:15:54,813 --> 00:15:55,414 he just broke up 407 00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:56,448 with his newest boyfriend. 408 00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:57,582 Another one? 409 00:15:57,616 --> 00:15:59,451 I feel so bad for that guy. 410 00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:01,119 Yeah, me too. 411 00:16:01,153 --> 00:16:02,454 Myles is a bit much. 412 00:16:02,487 --> 00:16:05,757 No, I meant Myles. 413 00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:08,126 You feel bad for Myles. 414 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:08,794 Don't. 415 00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:09,628 If you want to pity someone, 416 00:16:09,661 --> 00:16:10,796 try me. 417 00:16:10,829 --> 00:16:12,064 Myles and I made a deal ten years 418 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,465 ago that if we were still single 419 00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,100 by the time we're thirty-five, 420 00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,468 we'd be a couple. 421 00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:17,336 That's ridiculous. 422 00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:19,037 Myles is a successful, smart lawyer. 423 00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:20,539 He can do so much better than you. 424 00:16:20,572 --> 00:16:21,707 I know, right. 425 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:22,641 Wait, what? 426 00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:23,308 I don't even know why you're complaining. 427 00:16:23,342 --> 00:16:25,077 I think it's a great idea. 428 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,078 You'd be lucky to have a guy like Myles. 429 00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,079 No. 430 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:27,713 That is the last thing 431 00:16:27,746 --> 00:16:28,747 in the world I need. 432 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,314 You're crazy, 433 00:16:29,348 --> 00:16:31,249 but we both know that. 434 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:31,817 Seems like if you don't want to 435 00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:33,285 be Myles next boyfriend, 436 00:16:33,318 --> 00:16:33,985 you're going to have to 437 00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:36,254 do something about it - quick. 438 00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,790 Myles turns thirty-five in one month, 439 00:16:38,824 --> 00:16:40,192 we have thirty days to find 440 00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:41,226 Myles a boyfriend. 441 00:16:41,259 --> 00:16:47,265 No, not "we," you! 442 00:16:52,504 --> 00:16:54,139 (KNOCK) 443 00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:55,640 It's open. 444 00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:57,442 Hey! 445 00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,411 You ready for boys night out? 446 00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:02,180 Yeah, can I get you a drink? 447 00:17:02,214 --> 00:17:03,382 I trained you well. 448 00:17:03,415 --> 00:17:06,418 Nope, I got it. 449 00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:07,853 Hey, can we stop by my place, 450 00:17:07,886 --> 00:17:08,587 I didn't have time to go back 451 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,322 to the station. 452 00:17:10,355 --> 00:17:16,361 Sure, whatever you need to do. 453 00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:17,029 Ah. 454 00:17:17,062 --> 00:17:19,197 I waited all day for that. 455 00:17:19,231 --> 00:17:20,432 What are you looking at? 456 00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,201 I rarely see you in uniform. 457 00:17:23,235 --> 00:17:24,536 You like a man in uniform? 458 00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:26,471 Who doesn't? 459 00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:27,806 What do you think? 460 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,474 I think you look less like a real cop 461 00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:33,278 and more like a male stripper. 462 00:17:33,311 --> 00:17:34,346 No wonder you're so easily able 463 00:17:34,379 --> 00:17:36,314 to catch the bad guys. 464 00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:37,816 Oh really? 465 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,618 Male stripper. 466 00:17:39,651 --> 00:17:45,590 (MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE) 467 00:17:46,658 --> 00:17:49,694 Have you been a bad boy, Myles? 468 00:17:49,728 --> 00:17:51,696 I may have broken a few laws 469 00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:52,831 Someone needs to do a little 470 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:58,837 "hard time." 471 00:18:17,522 --> 00:18:18,457 We should get going. 472 00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:20,659 Yeah, we should go. 473 00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:21,493 I'll get my keys. 474 00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:23,462 I'll get my...I'll be in the car. 475 00:18:23,495 --> 00:18:29,501 (MUSIC STOPS) 476 00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:38,543 ♪ 477 00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,611 A gogo bar? 478 00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:40,712 Hey, every once in a while a guy 479 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,447 has to get his gay on. 480 00:18:42,481 --> 00:18:43,415 If you're worried about not being 481 00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,449 gay enough, I'd say you're good 482 00:18:44,483 --> 00:18:48,653 for the next...year, maybe ten. 483 00:18:48,687 --> 00:18:50,222 Two martini's so dirty the health 484 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,423 department will shut you down for 485 00:18:51,456 --> 00:18:53,558 serving them. 486 00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:55,227 What is is with you and gogo bars? 487 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,762 Hey, now I have four of my favorite things. 488 00:18:57,796 --> 00:18:59,631 Booze, music, hot, 489 00:18:59,664 --> 00:19:01,433 almost naked men. 490 00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:03,969 That's three. 491 00:19:04,002 --> 00:19:05,704 Awww. 492 00:19:05,737 --> 00:19:06,404 You shouldn't snub your nose 493 00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:07,239 at gogo bars. 494 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,807 They are an important tool in the 495 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,410 gay mans sexual arsenal. 496 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:13,245 Like candles 497 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,613 and chocolate dipped strawberries? 498 00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:16,381 Yes and No. 499 00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:17,482 Look, 500 00:19:17,516 --> 00:19:19,351 you need less romance and more sex. 501 00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:20,585 Ok, bear with me. 502 00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:22,554 Define gogo boy. 503 00:19:22,587 --> 00:19:24,456 A young. 504 00:19:24,489 --> 00:19:26,224 Fit, attractive male. 505 00:19:26,258 --> 00:19:28,493 Wearing next to nothing - 506 00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:31,429 thrusting his engorged... 507 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:32,564 Let's just say he's a sexy male dancer. 508 00:19:32,597 --> 00:19:33,999 Yes, exactly, SEXY! 509 00:19:34,032 --> 00:19:36,234 Men are visual animals. 510 00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:36,835 We see a hot guy, 511 00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:37,969 we get turned on. 512 00:19:38,003 --> 00:19:39,671 Gogo boys are just eye candy here 513 00:19:39,704 --> 00:19:42,440 to stimulate our adrenaline and 514 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,376 boost our testosterone. 515 00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:45,777 Ok. 516 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,811 So, they're here to tease. 517 00:19:46,845 --> 00:19:47,646 You can't have them, 518 00:19:47,679 --> 00:19:53,752 you can just look and gently touch. 519 00:19:54,686 --> 00:19:55,820 This is all fine, 520 00:19:55,854 --> 00:19:57,822 but has nothing to do with me. 521 00:19:57,856 --> 00:19:58,657 That is where you are wrong. 522 00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:02,327 It has everything to do with you. 523 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,261 Guys want them, 524 00:20:03,295 --> 00:20:03,895 but they go home with me? 525 00:20:03,929 --> 00:20:04,696 Finally, yes! 526 00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:05,897 You want a man, 527 00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:08,266 these boys will help you get one. 528 00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:08,800 I want someone 529 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,302 who cares about me. 530 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,503 Not someone who has sex with me 531 00:20:11,536 --> 00:20:12,804 while thinking of some greased up 532 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,273 muscle twink in a g-string. 533 00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:16,575 Sex is sex. 534 00:20:16,608 --> 00:20:19,311 For you. 535 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,346 You need to relax, ok? 536 00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:23,715 Look, see that cutie over there? 537 00:20:23,748 --> 00:20:24,783 He's serving up mouth shots, 538 00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:25,483 go get him. 539 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,519 Along with possible meningitis. 540 00:20:27,552 --> 00:20:28,486 I think I'll stick with my cocktail, 541 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:33,658 out of my partially clean glass. 542 00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:34,626 I'd rather not. 543 00:20:34,659 --> 00:20:37,629 I know, but do it anyway. 544 00:20:37,662 --> 00:20:43,668 Here you go. 545 00:20:44,903 --> 00:20:46,605 Wow. 546 00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:47,272 If I'm going to do it, 547 00:20:47,305 --> 00:20:53,011 I might as well do it right. 548 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:59,050 (OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING) 549 00:20:59,084 --> 00:21:00,318 Got a minute? 550 00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:01,519 No. 551 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:03,054 I'm up to my nose in briefs. 552 00:21:03,088 --> 00:21:09,060 And not the good kind. 553 00:21:09,928 --> 00:21:12,797 What is wrong with men? 554 00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,633 At least its not a complicated question. 555 00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:15,467 Let me clear my calendar 556 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:16,901 for the next decade 557 00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:18,903 and we can figure it out. 558 00:21:18,937 --> 00:21:19,771 Do you have any idea what its 559 00:21:19,804 --> 00:21:21,573 like to have an ovary full of eggs 560 00:21:21,606 --> 00:21:23,074 screaming "fertilize me?" 561 00:21:23,108 --> 00:21:23,775 It adds a whole new dimension 562 00:21:23,808 --> 00:21:26,011 to the misery of being single. 563 00:21:26,044 --> 00:21:27,946 No, and I don't want to either. 564 00:21:27,979 --> 00:21:29,547 In fact, I'd rather not discuss it. 565 00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:30,615 Being gay does not excuse you 566 00:21:30,649 --> 00:21:32,050 from having to deal with this. 567 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:36,454 I'm pretty sure it does. 568 00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:37,355 Besides, 569 00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:38,623 I'm newly single now too. 570 00:21:38,657 --> 00:21:39,791 Aw. 571 00:21:39,824 --> 00:21:40,492 Soon it will be time for you and 572 00:21:40,525 --> 00:21:42,694 Brody to be a couple, how sweet. 573 00:21:42,727 --> 00:21:43,561 No! 574 00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:48,066 And when did I tell you about that? 575 00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:48,967 If I know Brody, 576 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,502 he's probably forgotten all about it. 577 00:21:50,535 --> 00:21:51,536 Remind him. 578 00:21:51,569 --> 00:21:52,470 And videotape his expression 579 00:21:52,504 --> 00:21:53,605 when you do. 580 00:21:53,638 --> 00:21:55,573 It'll be a good one. 581 00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:56,274 I'm counting on Brody not 582 00:21:56,307 --> 00:21:57,742 remembering our little plan. 583 00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:58,443 Why? 584 00:21:58,476 --> 00:21:59,911 He's a great catch, and so hot. 585 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:03,548 But he's not relationship material. 586 00:22:03,581 --> 00:22:04,082 What about the two of you 587 00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,617 just fooling around? 588 00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:06,818 I cannot understand how your best 589 00:22:06,851 --> 00:22:07,919 friend is a sexy cop and you have 590 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,621 not hooked up yet. 591 00:22:09,654 --> 00:22:10,789 Contrary to what you may think, 592 00:22:10,822 --> 00:22:11,723 gay people don't all just sleep 593 00:22:11,756 --> 00:22:12,490 with each other. 594 00:22:12,524 --> 00:22:13,291 Really? 595 00:22:13,324 --> 00:22:14,559 I didn't get that memo and neither 596 00:22:14,592 --> 00:22:18,997 did the rest of West Hollywood. 597 00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:19,864 Brody is my friend. 598 00:22:19,898 --> 00:22:23,735 You don't sleep with your friends. 599 00:22:23,768 --> 00:22:24,302 How is it that I've never heard 600 00:22:24,335 --> 00:22:25,470 of any of these rules. 601 00:22:25,503 --> 00:22:26,404 I swear you make them up 602 00:22:26,438 --> 00:22:27,505 as you go along. 603 00:22:27,539 --> 00:22:28,206 Well, Brody and I 604 00:22:28,239 --> 00:22:29,941 don't see each other that way. 605 00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:30,575 Don't tell me 606 00:22:30,608 --> 00:22:31,776 that you're not his type. 607 00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,778 Brody only has one type. 608 00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:39,551 Facing down. 609 00:22:39,584 --> 00:22:40,785 Ok, thanks. 610 00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:44,856 Good chat. 611 00:22:44,889 --> 00:22:50,862 ♪ 612 00:24:13,111 --> 00:24:14,746 Aw. 613 00:24:14,779 --> 00:24:20,785 Great. 614 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:47,011 (FACETIME RINGING) 615 00:24:47,045 --> 00:24:49,814 Hey Brody. 616 00:24:49,848 --> 00:24:51,316 Someone's getting busy. 617 00:24:51,349 --> 00:24:52,083 Huh? 618 00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:54,786 Oh, wow, no. 619 00:24:54,819 --> 00:24:57,655 Talk about incriminating evidence. 620 00:24:57,689 --> 00:24:58,356 I'm just cleaning up. 621 00:24:58,389 --> 00:25:00,892 Everything is covered in lube. 622 00:25:00,925 --> 00:25:02,260 That a boy! 623 00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,962 It's not what it looks like. 624 00:25:03,995 --> 00:25:06,064 What do you want Brody? 625 00:25:06,097 --> 00:25:07,131 I just called to tell you 626 00:25:07,165 --> 00:25:08,333 I went south of the border 627 00:25:08,366 --> 00:25:09,033 and I'm not talking about 628 00:25:09,067 --> 00:25:10,668 a little road trip to Tijuana. 629 00:25:10,702 --> 00:25:11,736 I just made it with a 630 00:25:11,769 --> 00:25:13,905 smoking hot Latino "Papi." 631 00:25:13,938 --> 00:25:14,606 Dude, I don't know 632 00:25:14,639 --> 00:25:16,274 what's gotten into me lately. 633 00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:17,976 Probably about nine inches. 634 00:25:18,009 --> 00:25:19,010 Quick. 635 00:25:19,043 --> 00:25:22,046 Nice. 636 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:22,881 Well, 637 00:25:22,914 --> 00:25:24,816 I was having a nice night by myself. 638 00:25:24,849 --> 00:25:26,351 I could tell. 639 00:25:26,384 --> 00:25:28,019 Not that. 640 00:25:28,052 --> 00:25:29,854 I cooked a terrific dinner, 641 00:25:29,888 --> 00:25:31,589 read a good book, played cards. 642 00:25:31,623 --> 00:25:32,423 I was about to get into this big, 643 00:25:32,457 --> 00:25:34,158 soft bed without some strange guy 644 00:25:34,192 --> 00:25:35,660 next to me, snoring and farting 645 00:25:35,693 --> 00:25:38,663 his way through the night. 646 00:25:38,696 --> 00:25:40,832 You sound miserable. 647 00:25:40,865 --> 00:25:45,370 I am. 648 00:25:45,403 --> 00:25:46,638 I'm going to find you 649 00:25:46,671 --> 00:25:50,742 the perfect guy. 650 00:25:50,775 --> 00:25:52,377 No, no. 651 00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:53,077 I'm your best friend. 652 00:25:53,111 --> 00:25:54,979 Who is more qualified than me to 653 00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:57,248 find a guy for you? 654 00:25:57,282 --> 00:25:59,117 Your argument is compelling, 655 00:25:59,150 --> 00:26:01,853 and as always, disconcerting. 656 00:26:01,886 --> 00:26:03,121 Trust me. 657 00:26:03,154 --> 00:26:04,322 I've met a lot of great guys 658 00:26:04,355 --> 00:26:05,123 over the years. 659 00:26:05,156 --> 00:26:06,724 If I wasn't a confirmed bachelor, 660 00:26:06,758 --> 00:26:08,092 I would have scooped one up myself. 661 00:26:08,126 --> 00:26:11,863 But hey, my loss is your gain. 662 00:26:11,896 --> 00:26:13,898 I'm going to find you a husband, buddy. 663 00:26:13,932 --> 00:26:14,599 You better get buckle up, 664 00:26:14,632 --> 00:26:16,768 cause we're going on a manhunt. 665 00:26:16,801 --> 00:26:18,202 I'll brace for impact. 666 00:26:18,236 --> 00:26:22,907 Bye. 667 00:26:22,941 --> 00:26:24,108 Hi, I'm Myles. 668 00:26:24,142 --> 00:26:25,376 It's really nice to meet you. 669 00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:27,712 Brody told me a lot about you. 670 00:26:27,745 --> 00:26:28,580 I'm Stu. 671 00:26:28,613 --> 00:26:30,014 It's so funny you picked this place. 672 00:26:30,048 --> 00:26:32,183 It's my favorite coffee shop... 673 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:33,851 and you bought me an eclair, 674 00:26:33,885 --> 00:26:35,420 I love these. 675 00:26:35,453 --> 00:26:37,989 Here's a double decaf soy latte, too. 676 00:26:38,022 --> 00:26:39,023 I like to do my research 677 00:26:39,057 --> 00:26:40,692 before I meet someone. 678 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:41,492 When you say "you like to do your 679 00:26:41,526 --> 00:26:43,861 research before you meet someone," 680 00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:45,997 What exactly do you mean by that 681 00:26:46,030 --> 00:26:47,231 I like to know who I'm meeting. 682 00:26:47,265 --> 00:26:48,700 I just do a standard Google, 683 00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:50,001 Facebook, LinkedIn search before I 684 00:26:50,034 --> 00:26:51,135 meet them. 685 00:26:51,169 --> 00:26:52,737 You know, see if we're compatible. 686 00:26:52,770 --> 00:26:55,073 Find out what you're into. 687 00:26:55,106 --> 00:26:57,008 So, you do this kind of investigation 688 00:26:57,041 --> 00:26:59,844 with every guy you go out with 689 00:26:59,877 --> 00:27:00,812 It helps me to come up with some 690 00:27:00,845 --> 00:27:01,946 things to talk about. 691 00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:02,880 There's nothing worse than meeting 692 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:03,915 a guy for the first time and 693 00:27:03,948 --> 00:27:07,185 having nothing to talk about. 694 00:27:07,218 --> 00:27:08,219 My research also helps me do 695 00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:13,458 things like this... 696 00:27:13,491 --> 00:27:16,127 It's your favorite flower. 697 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:16,961 I also know you played lacrosse 698 00:27:16,995 --> 00:27:18,029 in high school. 699 00:27:18,062 --> 00:27:19,230 You love to go camping and you 700 00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:23,401 have a French Bulldog named Doug. 701 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:24,869 Could you excuse me for one moment? 702 00:27:24,902 --> 00:27:26,738 I need to use the restroom. 703 00:27:26,771 --> 00:27:28,706 Do you want me to order for you? 704 00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:29,974 Vanilla latte with extra foam, 705 00:27:30,008 --> 00:27:31,142 extra hot. 706 00:27:31,175 --> 00:27:32,710 Right? 707 00:27:32,744 --> 00:27:33,411 Oh wow. 708 00:27:33,444 --> 00:27:34,912 My sister just texted. 709 00:27:34,946 --> 00:27:36,914 She swallowed a rusty nail. 710 00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:37,548 I'm sorry, I'm going to have to 711 00:27:37,582 --> 00:27:42,020 take her to the hospital. 712 00:27:42,053 --> 00:27:48,026 Call me. 713 00:27:48,059 --> 00:27:53,498 (VIDEO GAME SOUNDS. PHONE RINGS) 714 00:27:53,531 --> 00:27:54,399 What's up? 715 00:27:54,432 --> 00:27:56,067 Ok, I officially give up. 716 00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:57,935 No more men. 717 00:27:57,969 --> 00:27:59,137 Ok, let's start with the mildly 718 00:27:59,170 --> 00:28:00,405 over-dramatic and work our way 719 00:28:00,438 --> 00:28:02,273 back to the partially sane. 720 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:04,442 I'm like kryptonite to my Superman. 721 00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:06,911 I'll never find someone to love me. 722 00:28:06,944 --> 00:28:07,945 You're probably just 723 00:28:07,979 --> 00:28:09,347 coming on too strong, buddy. 724 00:28:09,380 --> 00:28:11,049 You just need to relax, get to 725 00:28:11,082 --> 00:28:13,384 know someone, have a little fun. 726 00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:15,486 So it is me? 727 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,188 It's not you. 728 00:28:17,221 --> 00:28:17,955 Look, I'm just setting you up 729 00:28:17,989 --> 00:28:18,890 with the wrong guys, 730 00:28:18,923 --> 00:28:20,091 give me one more chance. 731 00:28:20,124 --> 00:28:20,925 No. 732 00:28:20,958 --> 00:28:22,093 I'm heading straight to the kennel. 733 00:28:22,126 --> 00:28:22,894 I'm going to pick out 734 00:28:22,927 --> 00:28:23,761 a little white dog 735 00:28:23,795 --> 00:28:26,330 and spend the rest of my days alone. 736 00:28:26,364 --> 00:28:27,432 Come on, one more chance. 737 00:28:27,465 --> 00:28:31,269 One more date, I promise. 738 00:28:31,302 --> 00:28:31,936 Ok. 739 00:28:31,969 --> 00:28:33,538 I'll consider one more date, 740 00:28:33,571 --> 00:28:35,506 under one condition. 741 00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:37,909 It's non-negotiable. 742 00:28:37,942 --> 00:28:41,012 What are your terms, counselor? 743 00:28:41,045 --> 00:28:42,246 Will you come with? 744 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,015 Oh God. 745 00:28:44,048 --> 00:28:45,349 I won't do this alone. 746 00:28:45,383 --> 00:28:46,818 You pick out a date for me, 747 00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:48,786 and I'll pick out someone for you. 748 00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:49,520 If you're there then you'll get to 749 00:28:49,554 --> 00:28:51,956 witness the disaster first hand. 750 00:28:51,989 --> 00:28:55,026 It's like having box seats at a 751 00:28:55,059 --> 00:28:56,260 NASCAR event where you know 752 00:28:56,294 --> 00:28:57,395 there's going to be a multi-car 753 00:28:57,428 --> 00:28:59,263 pile up before it's all over. 754 00:28:59,297 --> 00:29:00,531 Well as long as you're going into 755 00:29:00,565 --> 00:29:02,867 it with such a positive attitude. 756 00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:03,468 Positive that I'm going to 757 00:29:03,501 --> 00:29:04,102 end up alone again 758 00:29:04,135 --> 00:29:05,570 at the end of the evening. 759 00:29:05,603 --> 00:29:11,809 Bye. 760 00:29:16,047 --> 00:29:17,148 I hope you like this place. 761 00:29:17,181 --> 00:29:18,950 They have the best stuffed mushrooms. 762 00:29:18,983 --> 00:29:20,284 I love stuffed mushrooms. 763 00:29:20,318 --> 00:29:23,821 I had them the last time I was here, 764 00:29:23,855 --> 00:29:25,923 when my date decided to ditch me. 765 00:29:25,957 --> 00:29:28,292 Oh, sorry. 766 00:29:28,326 --> 00:29:29,227 Well, 767 00:29:29,260 --> 00:29:31,529 Hopefully, tonight will be better for you. 768 00:29:31,562 --> 00:29:33,231 Here's to not being dumped tonight. 769 00:29:33,264 --> 00:29:34,298 Wow, sorry. 770 00:29:34,332 --> 00:29:36,234 Myles can be a bit depressing. 771 00:29:36,267 --> 00:29:37,034 Hence having the waiter remove all 772 00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:38,970 the sharp objects from the table. 773 00:29:39,003 --> 00:29:43,074 You're an asshole. 774 00:29:43,107 --> 00:29:46,444 You don't recognize me, do you? 775 00:29:46,477 --> 00:29:49,247 Grindr. 776 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,183 I tried to message you a couple times, 777 00:29:52,216 --> 00:29:54,085 but you never responded. 778 00:29:54,118 --> 00:29:55,286 I'm sorry, I'm not really good 779 00:29:55,319 --> 00:29:56,287 with technology. 780 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,623 I'm just a simple farm boy. 781 00:29:58,656 --> 00:29:59,157 Oh yeah? 782 00:29:59,190 --> 00:30:01,259 Where are you from? 783 00:30:01,292 --> 00:30:03,094 New York. 784 00:30:03,127 --> 00:30:04,061 How was the harvest in Manhattan 785 00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:08,332 this season? 786 00:30:08,366 --> 00:30:10,301 I'm originally from Colombia. 787 00:30:10,334 --> 00:30:11,936 My parents are farmers. 788 00:30:11,969 --> 00:30:14,038 Organic coffee trade. 789 00:30:14,071 --> 00:30:14,872 There's no such thing 790 00:30:14,906 --> 00:30:16,307 as organic coffee. 791 00:30:16,340 --> 00:30:17,008 I hear it's just a marketing ploy 792 00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:19,243 to drive up the cost of beans. 793 00:30:19,277 --> 00:30:20,645 My family's in the coffee business, too. 794 00:30:20,678 --> 00:30:21,913 We sell espresso machines and 795 00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:26,551 roasted beans...mostly organic. 796 00:30:26,584 --> 00:30:27,652 What's your family name? 797 00:30:27,685 --> 00:30:28,653 Fiori. 798 00:30:28,686 --> 00:30:30,621 I've heard that name before. 799 00:30:30,655 --> 00:30:31,455 I think my family supplies your 800 00:30:31,489 --> 00:30:32,523 coffee beans. 801 00:30:32,557 --> 00:30:33,391 Get out of here. 802 00:30:33,424 --> 00:30:34,425 I'm serious. 803 00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,194 I'm a total coffee whore. 804 00:30:36,227 --> 00:30:37,495 A double decaf latte, extra soy, 805 00:30:37,528 --> 00:30:39,263 extra foam, extra hot. 806 00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:39,964 You don't want to know what I'd 807 00:30:39,997 --> 00:30:41,065 do for one of those before work 808 00:30:41,098 --> 00:30:43,234 in the morning. 809 00:30:43,267 --> 00:30:44,535 And you said it was just a little 810 00:30:44,569 --> 00:30:45,603 vanilla froth on the corner of 811 00:30:45,636 --> 00:30:47,138 your mouth the other day. 812 00:30:47,171 --> 00:30:48,272 Hey, what goes on between my 813 00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:51,609 barista and I is my business. 814 00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:54,478 Do you know Vincent? 815 00:30:54,512 --> 00:30:55,479 Vincent Fiori. 816 00:30:55,513 --> 00:30:56,514 He's only my brother! 817 00:30:56,547 --> 00:30:58,282 Are you serious? 818 00:30:58,316 --> 00:30:59,150 Yes. 819 00:30:59,183 --> 00:31:00,351 What an awesome guy. 820 00:31:00,384 --> 00:31:01,152 Yeah, Vincent's been trying to get 821 00:31:01,185 --> 00:31:02,553 me to travel with him for years... 822 00:31:02,587 --> 00:31:03,287 I think he's even told me 823 00:31:03,321 --> 00:31:04,655 about your farm. 824 00:31:04,689 --> 00:31:05,456 No way. 825 00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:06,290 Yes. 826 00:31:06,324 --> 00:31:07,124 We have one thousand acres of the 827 00:31:07,158 --> 00:31:09,360 lushest farmland you've ever seen. 828 00:31:09,393 --> 00:31:11,362 So how about them Dodgers? 829 00:31:11,395 --> 00:31:12,997 I don't follow sports. 830 00:31:13,030 --> 00:31:13,798 Sports are what straight guys 831 00:31:13,831 --> 00:31:14,365 talk about when they have nothing 832 00:31:14,398 --> 00:31:16,133 better to say, come on! 833 00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:18,236 Yeah, right. 834 00:31:18,269 --> 00:31:19,036 I'm starting to regret having the 835 00:31:19,070 --> 00:31:20,471 waiter remove those sharp objects 836 00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,339 from the table. 837 00:31:21,372 --> 00:31:22,139 Yeah, I know. 838 00:31:22,173 --> 00:31:22,773 Give me a minute and I'll forge a 839 00:31:22,807 --> 00:31:24,442 shiv out of a breadstick. 840 00:31:24,475 --> 00:31:26,210 Do you think they'll notice if we left? 841 00:31:26,244 --> 00:31:28,546 I've always wanted to be the guy that leaves. 842 00:31:28,579 --> 00:31:29,547 Myles. 843 00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:31,582 That is a horrible thing to do to your date. 844 00:31:31,616 --> 00:31:32,550 I know, you're right. 845 00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:33,618 I'm sorry. 846 00:31:33,651 --> 00:31:34,585 I didn't say we shouldn't do it. 847 00:31:34,619 --> 00:31:36,387 I just said it was a horrible thing to do. 848 00:31:36,420 --> 00:31:38,489 Which makes it so much fun! 849 00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:41,058 Excuse me. 850 00:31:41,092 --> 00:31:47,064 I'm going to go too. 851 00:31:52,236 --> 00:31:54,038 "Fiori." 852 00:31:54,071 --> 00:31:58,342 Well that went predictably bad. 853 00:31:58,376 --> 00:31:59,310 I'll give you that much. 854 00:31:59,343 --> 00:32:00,144 Tonight needs to end 855 00:32:00,177 --> 00:32:01,612 with a stiff drink. 856 00:32:01,646 --> 00:32:02,980 Scotch? 857 00:32:03,014 --> 00:32:04,482 No, I got a big meeting tomorrow. 858 00:32:04,515 --> 00:32:06,150 Come on, hang out, chill. 859 00:32:06,183 --> 00:32:06,684 You don't have to rush home 860 00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:08,319 to Jeff Stryker. 861 00:32:08,352 --> 00:32:12,456 Jeff Stryker? 862 00:32:12,490 --> 00:32:16,394 Oh, the dildo? 863 00:32:16,427 --> 00:32:19,430 Here. 864 00:32:19,463 --> 00:32:20,464 You know I can send my cleaning 865 00:32:20,498 --> 00:32:21,632 lady over if you want. 866 00:32:21,666 --> 00:32:22,566 She's only seventy-five bucks a visit. 867 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,702 She'll bring her own napalm. 868 00:32:24,735 --> 00:32:26,537 Hey, I made a path to the couch. 869 00:32:26,570 --> 00:32:29,073 That counts for something, right? 870 00:32:29,106 --> 00:32:29,607 You need someone 871 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,608 to take care of you. 872 00:32:30,641 --> 00:32:33,678 No, I need to hire a maid. 873 00:32:33,711 --> 00:32:34,612 Everyone needs someone. 874 00:32:34,645 --> 00:32:35,479 Even you. 875 00:32:35,513 --> 00:32:36,547 What are you afraid of? 876 00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:38,015 Of being nagged to death about 877 00:32:38,049 --> 00:32:39,717 being single. 878 00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:42,219 We need to get you a man. 879 00:32:42,253 --> 00:32:48,225 Give me your phone. 880 00:32:48,492 --> 00:32:49,560 Alright, take your shirt off. 881 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:50,461 What? 882 00:32:50,494 --> 00:32:51,762 Take your shirt off. 883 00:32:51,796 --> 00:32:52,763 No. 884 00:32:52,797 --> 00:32:53,564 You're not putting half naked 885 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,299 pictures of me up on the internet. 886 00:32:55,333 --> 00:32:56,233 No way 887 00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:57,068 It's not the internet. 888 00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:59,370 It's an app and everyone does it. 889 00:32:59,403 --> 00:33:01,405 Look, you need to try something 890 00:33:01,439 --> 00:33:02,373 different for a change. 891 00:33:02,406 --> 00:33:04,175 No. 892 00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:05,676 How do you do it? 893 00:33:05,710 --> 00:33:09,547 Very well and often on all fours. 894 00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:10,247 Trust me, 895 00:33:10,281 --> 00:33:13,284 it is better than being alone. 896 00:33:13,317 --> 00:33:15,553 I'm really not comfortable with this. 897 00:33:15,586 --> 00:33:16,587 It's all about advertising. 898 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,589 If you want to catch a fish, 899 00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:20,491 you've got to show him your worm. 900 00:33:20,524 --> 00:33:23,661 No one is seeing my "worm", 901 00:33:23,694 --> 00:33:24,695 and the shirt stays on. 902 00:33:24,729 --> 00:33:26,197 It's non-negotiable. 903 00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:27,131 Fine. 904 00:33:27,164 --> 00:33:28,466 Leave the shirt on. 905 00:33:28,499 --> 00:33:30,234 Now smile and say, 906 00:33:30,267 --> 00:33:31,369 "I'm a bad little boy 907 00:33:31,402 --> 00:33:34,271 who's looking for a sexy daddy." 908 00:33:34,305 --> 00:33:38,142 "Cheese" 909 00:33:38,175 --> 00:33:44,148 "Cheese" will do. 910 00:33:44,782 --> 00:33:45,783 Look at that! 911 00:33:45,816 --> 00:33:46,584 Oh my god. 912 00:33:46,617 --> 00:33:47,451 It's beautiful. 913 00:33:47,485 --> 00:33:48,018 No its not. 914 00:33:48,052 --> 00:33:50,454 It's awful, delete it. 915 00:33:50,488 --> 00:33:53,858 No way. 916 00:33:53,891 --> 00:33:58,729 I've got to delete this. 917 00:33:58,763 --> 00:34:01,165 (BEEP) 918 00:34:01,198 --> 00:34:03,467 Wow, ok. 919 00:34:03,501 --> 00:34:05,202 (BEEP) 920 00:34:05,236 --> 00:34:06,637 Wow. 921 00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:07,705 (BEEP) 922 00:34:07,738 --> 00:34:12,376 Now? 923 00:34:12,410 --> 00:34:18,382 ♪ 924 00:34:35,533 --> 00:34:41,505 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 925 00:34:43,207 --> 00:34:44,708 Cute. 926 00:34:44,742 --> 00:34:48,913 I like the "Abercrombie meets 927 00:34:48,946 --> 00:34:50,514 Log-Cabin-Republican" thing 928 00:34:50,548 --> 00:34:52,550 you've got going on. 929 00:34:52,583 --> 00:34:53,751 I have to tell you I've never 930 00:34:53,784 --> 00:34:54,885 done this kind of thing before. 931 00:34:54,919 --> 00:34:56,854 And what kind of thing is that? 932 00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:57,888 Meet up with a guy I don't know 933 00:34:57,922 --> 00:34:59,290 in the middle of the night. 934 00:34:59,323 --> 00:35:00,524 And what do you think so far? 935 00:35:00,558 --> 00:35:02,493 I'm nervous. 936 00:35:02,526 --> 00:35:03,594 How adorable. 937 00:35:03,627 --> 00:35:05,463 You want to come in? 938 00:35:05,496 --> 00:35:06,297 You're not going to kill me, 939 00:35:06,330 --> 00:35:07,498 are you? 940 00:35:07,531 --> 00:35:08,566 Do you really think that someone 941 00:35:08,599 --> 00:35:09,567 who is planning on killing you, 942 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:10,434 is going to answer that question 943 00:35:10,468 --> 00:35:13,537 with a yes? 944 00:35:13,571 --> 00:35:16,307 Feel like taking your chances? 945 00:35:16,340 --> 00:35:17,174 I wasn't planning on revealing 946 00:35:17,208 --> 00:35:20,177 I was this neurotic until much later. 947 00:35:20,211 --> 00:35:22,613 The cat's out of the bag now. 948 00:35:22,646 --> 00:35:28,652 Offer still stands. 949 00:35:48,506 --> 00:35:49,773 Can I get you a drink? 950 00:35:49,807 --> 00:35:51,742 I've got whiskey, beer, vodka. 951 00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:53,377 I'm fine. 952 00:35:53,410 --> 00:35:54,778 Hit? 953 00:35:54,812 --> 00:35:56,914 No, I'm good. 954 00:35:56,947 --> 00:35:58,215 You mind? 955 00:35:58,249 --> 00:36:04,255 No. 956 00:36:04,455 --> 00:36:05,789 Are you sure? 957 00:36:05,823 --> 00:36:10,794 No, I'm fine. 958 00:36:10,828 --> 00:36:14,698 So what happens now? 959 00:36:14,732 --> 00:36:20,738 Whatever you want. 960 00:36:22,406 --> 00:36:27,978 I don't bite...very hard a first. 961 00:36:28,012 --> 00:36:29,480 Sure I can't change your mind 962 00:36:29,513 --> 00:36:33,450 about that drink? 963 00:36:33,484 --> 00:36:39,490 Make it a double. 964 00:36:45,529 --> 00:36:50,901 (FACETIME RINGING) 965 00:36:50,935 --> 00:36:51,969 What's up, buddy? 966 00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:55,506 Hey, I took your advice. 967 00:36:55,539 --> 00:36:56,640 Where are you 968 00:36:56,674 --> 00:36:57,575 I'm at this 969 00:36:57,608 --> 00:36:59,777 seriously hot guy's house. 970 00:36:59,810 --> 00:37:00,678 Don't even say you did it, 971 00:37:00,711 --> 00:37:02,379 I will not believe you. 972 00:37:02,413 --> 00:37:04,748 This is, so hot. 973 00:37:04,782 --> 00:37:05,816 Where are you 974 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:07,418 His name is Hunter. 975 00:37:07,451 --> 00:37:09,753 Yeah, I'm sure it is. 976 00:37:09,787 --> 00:37:10,487 Shh. 977 00:37:10,521 --> 00:37:11,188 Here he comes. 978 00:37:11,221 --> 00:37:12,590 I gotta go; I'll call you later. 979 00:37:12,623 --> 00:37:16,860 Hey, wait... 980 00:37:16,894 --> 00:37:18,796 Was that your backup plan? 981 00:37:18,829 --> 00:37:20,698 Oh, no it's just my buddy. 982 00:37:20,731 --> 00:37:21,398 He always calls me 983 00:37:21,432 --> 00:37:25,936 when he meets a hot guy so... 984 00:37:25,970 --> 00:37:26,770 I just called him. 985 00:37:26,804 --> 00:37:29,306 (PHONE RINGING) 986 00:37:29,340 --> 00:37:31,075 I'm flattered. 987 00:37:31,108 --> 00:37:32,610 I'm sorry. 988 00:37:32,643 --> 00:37:33,677 You can get it if you want. 989 00:37:33,711 --> 00:37:39,683 One second. 990 00:37:43,487 --> 00:37:44,655 What do you want? 991 00:37:44,688 --> 00:37:45,823 What are you doing? 992 00:37:45,856 --> 00:37:47,458 I'm taking your advice. 993 00:37:47,491 --> 00:37:48,759 My advice? 994 00:37:48,792 --> 00:37:50,694 Yeah, meet people and have fun. 995 00:37:50,728 --> 00:37:51,662 Look, I gotta go. 996 00:37:51,695 --> 00:37:52,563 I don't want to be rude. 997 00:37:52,596 --> 00:37:53,464 I'll call you later. 998 00:37:53,497 --> 00:37:54,565 Hey wait. 999 00:37:54,598 --> 00:38:00,604 No, I'll call you later. 1000 00:38:01,105 --> 00:38:03,440 That was ridiculous I know. 1001 00:38:03,474 --> 00:38:05,042 Now I'm embarrassed. 1002 00:38:05,075 --> 00:38:05,976 No. 1003 00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:09,847 Don't worry, it was sweet. 1004 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,081 Well if there's no one else 1005 00:38:11,115 --> 00:38:13,651 you'd like to ring up at midnight, 1006 00:38:13,684 --> 00:38:14,285 are you ready 1007 00:38:14,318 --> 00:38:17,888 to get to know each other? 1008 00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:18,555 Do you mind 1009 00:38:18,589 --> 00:38:20,891 if we just hang out tonight? 1010 00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,459 Oh. 1011 00:38:22,493 --> 00:38:25,796 Okay - no worries. 1012 00:38:25,829 --> 00:38:28,399 I'm down with whatever. 1013 00:38:28,432 --> 00:38:29,933 You sure? 1014 00:38:29,967 --> 00:38:31,402 Yeah, that's fine. 1015 00:38:31,435 --> 00:38:33,370 I just assumed 1016 00:38:33,404 --> 00:38:35,572 that was what you wanted. 1017 00:38:35,606 --> 00:38:39,410 I'm not really like that. 1018 00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:40,511 Me neither. 1019 00:38:40,544 --> 00:38:42,746 I'm really just a simple, 1020 00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:45,749 romantic homebody. 1021 00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:47,551 I'm good with just 1022 00:38:47,584 --> 00:38:49,753 hanging out tonight. 1023 00:38:49,787 --> 00:38:52,089 That's very cool of you. 1024 00:38:52,122 --> 00:38:53,090 You just seem like 1025 00:38:53,123 --> 00:38:55,159 a really great guy. 1026 00:38:55,192 --> 00:39:01,398 I do. 1027 00:39:01,699 --> 00:39:03,701 You know...if you want to put 1028 00:39:03,734 --> 00:39:04,868 your hand on my leg again, 1029 00:39:04,902 --> 00:39:10,874 I won't freak out, I promise. 1030 00:39:13,677 --> 00:39:19,650 ♪ 1031 00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:39,136 (OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING) 1032 00:39:42,106 --> 00:39:48,112 (MORNING SOUNDS. BIRDS CHIRPING) 1033 00:39:54,685 --> 00:39:55,619 Aww. 1034 00:39:55,652 --> 00:39:57,521 How Sweet. 1035 00:39:57,554 --> 00:40:00,691 Well that was certainly hot. 1036 00:40:00,724 --> 00:40:02,459 I needed that. 1037 00:40:02,493 --> 00:40:04,595 Apparently several times. 1038 00:40:04,628 --> 00:40:05,963 Listen, I need to go, 1039 00:40:05,996 --> 00:40:08,499 I have class. 1040 00:40:08,532 --> 00:40:09,566 Oh. 1041 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:10,834 What are you studying? 1042 00:40:10,868 --> 00:40:13,137 It's an aerobics class. 1043 00:40:13,170 --> 00:40:14,071 Oh. 1044 00:40:14,104 --> 00:40:15,038 Is it tough? 1045 00:40:15,072 --> 00:40:16,240 It's actually quite fun. 1046 00:40:16,273 --> 00:40:17,040 No. 1047 00:40:17,074 --> 00:40:17,908 I mean getting back to the 1980's 1048 00:40:17,941 --> 00:40:21,044 when they actually taught aerobics. 1049 00:40:21,078 --> 00:40:23,046 It's coming back, I'll have you know. 1050 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:24,081 I'll have to remember to tell my 1051 00:40:24,114 --> 00:40:25,616 leg warmers that. 1052 00:40:25,649 --> 00:40:28,085 What are leg warmers? 1053 00:40:28,118 --> 00:40:29,953 You're kidding, right? 1054 00:40:29,987 --> 00:40:31,955 No, and unfortunately I don't 1055 00:40:31,989 --> 00:40:33,223 have time to find out. 1056 00:40:33,257 --> 00:40:35,859 I need to leave, 1057 00:40:35,893 --> 00:40:37,161 I have to be there at eleven. 1058 00:40:37,194 --> 00:40:37,961 Oh my god! 1059 00:40:37,995 --> 00:40:43,934 It's eleven?! 1060 00:40:43,967 --> 00:40:47,905 (PHONE RINGING) 1061 00:40:47,938 --> 00:40:48,772 Hey, what happened to you? 1062 00:40:48,806 --> 00:40:50,774 You never called me back last night. 1063 00:40:50,808 --> 00:40:52,676 It's Diane. 1064 00:40:52,709 --> 00:40:54,678 Brody, do you know where Myles is? 1065 00:40:54,711 --> 00:40:56,880 Well did you try him at home? 1066 00:40:56,914 --> 00:40:57,548 It's a wonder 1067 00:40:57,581 --> 00:40:59,550 you're not a detective yet. 1068 00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:00,617 Uh. 1069 00:41:00,651 --> 00:41:01,485 I don't know. 1070 00:41:01,518 --> 00:41:02,653 I haven't seen him since last night. 1071 00:41:02,686 --> 00:41:03,287 Well, he had a client meeting 1072 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:04,188 on the books at 9:30 1073 00:41:04,221 --> 00:41:06,290 and he missed it. 1074 00:41:06,323 --> 00:41:07,724 Ok. 1075 00:41:07,758 --> 00:41:08,559 Let me go check in on him. 1076 00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:10,828 I'll get back to you in ten minutes. 1077 00:41:10,861 --> 00:41:13,931 Thank you. 1078 00:41:13,964 --> 00:41:14,731 Myles. 1079 00:41:14,765 --> 00:41:15,766 Are you in there? 1080 00:41:15,799 --> 00:41:19,203 Don't you have a key? 1081 00:41:19,236 --> 00:41:22,139 Why would I need a key? 1082 00:41:22,172 --> 00:41:23,574 Is there a problem officers? 1083 00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:24,274 No sir. 1084 00:41:24,308 --> 00:41:26,977 We're just responding to a call. 1085 00:41:27,010 --> 00:41:27,878 Do you know Myles? 1086 00:41:27,911 --> 00:41:28,912 I do. 1087 00:41:28,946 --> 00:41:30,781 Quiet gentleman, but nice. 1088 00:41:30,814 --> 00:41:32,649 Always a hello in the hallway. 1089 00:41:32,683 --> 00:41:33,817 Raised right. 1090 00:41:33,851 --> 00:41:35,819 Smells good too. 1091 00:41:35,853 --> 00:41:37,054 What did he do? 1092 00:41:37,087 --> 00:41:38,155 He didn't do anything. 1093 00:41:38,188 --> 00:41:39,823 We're just checking in on him. 1094 00:41:39,857 --> 00:41:40,924 Did you happen to see him last night? 1095 00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:41,925 Nope. 1096 00:41:41,959 --> 00:41:42,893 Don't think he came home 1097 00:41:42,926 --> 00:41:44,228 or I would have heard him. 1098 00:41:44,261 --> 00:41:45,796 I hear everything. 1099 00:41:45,829 --> 00:41:47,097 Even with this bad ear, 1100 00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:48,932 I catch it all. 1101 00:41:48,966 --> 00:41:51,201 Let me know if you need my help. 1102 00:41:51,235 --> 00:41:54,004 I'm a vigilante you know. 1103 00:41:54,037 --> 00:41:55,272 I think we've got it covered. 1104 00:41:55,305 --> 00:41:57,140 But, thank you for your help. 1105 00:41:57,174 --> 00:42:00,010 Anything for officers of the law. 1106 00:42:00,043 --> 00:42:06,016 Keep up the good work boys. 1107 00:42:17,828 --> 00:42:19,963 Myles. 1108 00:42:19,997 --> 00:42:22,633 Myles you here 1109 00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:25,202 Myles? 1110 00:42:25,235 --> 00:42:31,241 Myles? 1111 00:42:32,743 --> 00:42:33,777 Wow. 1112 00:42:33,810 --> 00:42:38,148 Who is his roommate, Mr. Clean? 1113 00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,349 A carafe? 1114 00:42:39,383 --> 00:42:40,384 Silver shaker? 1115 00:42:40,417 --> 00:42:41,251 Who does he entertain here? 1116 00:42:41,285 --> 00:42:47,257 James Bond? 1117 00:42:48,692 --> 00:42:49,359 When blockbuster runs out of 1118 00:42:49,393 --> 00:42:50,294 DVD's to rent, do they come here 1119 00:42:50,327 --> 00:42:51,962 and borrow a few from Myles? 1120 00:42:51,995 --> 00:42:52,529 Ok. 1121 00:42:52,562 --> 00:42:53,230 Enough with the running 1122 00:42:53,263 --> 00:42:53,931 commentary, can you just see if 1123 00:42:53,964 --> 00:42:55,699 you can find something please. 1124 00:42:55,732 --> 00:42:56,733 Like what, dust? 1125 00:42:56,767 --> 00:43:02,039 Good luck with that. 1126 00:43:02,072 --> 00:43:05,976 Come on. 1127 00:43:06,009 --> 00:43:07,744 He never came home last night. 1128 00:43:07,778 --> 00:43:08,645 I'm sure he's fine. 1129 00:43:08,679 --> 00:43:09,513 Yeah. 1130 00:43:09,546 --> 00:43:10,080 Famous last words before they find 1131 00:43:10,113 --> 00:43:11,815 his body in a dumpster. 1132 00:43:11,848 --> 00:43:12,749 Look, we need to put an APB out 1133 00:43:12,783 --> 00:43:13,817 and get more eyes out there 1134 00:43:13,850 --> 00:43:14,918 looking for him now. 1135 00:43:14,952 --> 00:43:15,852 Before we sound the alarm, 1136 00:43:15,886 --> 00:43:17,054 let's stop by his office 1137 00:43:17,087 --> 00:43:18,855 and see what we can find. 1138 00:43:18,889 --> 00:43:20,157 Relax. 1139 00:43:20,190 --> 00:43:21,191 It'll be fine. 1140 00:43:21,224 --> 00:43:22,726 Just one quick stop, okay? 1141 00:43:22,759 --> 00:43:28,732 Ok. 1142 00:43:36,406 --> 00:43:37,741 There you are! 1143 00:43:37,774 --> 00:43:38,442 Thanks for covering... 1144 00:43:38,475 --> 00:43:39,109 Wait a second. 1145 00:43:39,142 --> 00:43:40,243 Why do you look like this? 1146 00:43:40,277 --> 00:43:41,778 Is this a walk of shame? 1147 00:43:41,812 --> 00:43:42,879 I'm not ashamed of anything. 1148 00:43:42,913 --> 00:43:44,047 Well, you obviously didn't do it right. 1149 00:43:44,081 --> 00:43:46,049 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 1150 00:43:46,083 --> 00:43:47,384 Ok. 1151 00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:48,452 I want to hear everything, 1152 00:43:48,485 --> 00:43:50,253 and it better be filthy. 1153 00:43:50,287 --> 00:43:52,222 Phone numbers, names, descriptions. 1154 00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:53,890 Is video asking too much? 1155 00:43:53,924 --> 00:43:56,226 A gentleman never kisses and tells. 1156 00:43:56,259 --> 00:43:57,094 A gentleman who doesn't tell is 1157 00:43:57,127 --> 00:43:58,829 asking for a beating. 1158 00:43:58,862 --> 00:43:59,663 Ok. 1159 00:43:59,696 --> 00:44:00,063 But only because I'm afraid of you 1160 00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:00,631 right now. 1161 00:44:00,664 --> 00:44:03,033 Wait, hold that thought. 1162 00:44:03,066 --> 00:44:04,301 Before you start, I have to call Brody 1163 00:44:04,334 --> 00:44:05,769 and have him call off the SWAT 1164 00:44:05,802 --> 00:44:09,940 team he's going to send after you. 1165 00:44:09,973 --> 00:44:11,274 (PHONE RINGING) 1166 00:44:11,308 --> 00:44:13,010 I was just calling you. 1167 00:44:13,043 --> 00:44:13,577 See? 1168 00:44:13,610 --> 00:44:14,911 I told you he was fine. 1169 00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:16,980 Has he been here the whole time? 1170 00:44:17,014 --> 00:44:18,148 He just got here. 1171 00:44:18,181 --> 00:44:19,416 Hence me trying to call you. 1172 00:44:19,449 --> 00:44:21,985 Hey, I'm standing right here. 1173 00:44:22,019 --> 00:44:22,953 Diane called, said you didn't 1174 00:44:22,986 --> 00:44:24,054 come into work. 1175 00:44:24,087 --> 00:44:25,222 She made us all nervous. 1176 00:44:25,255 --> 00:44:26,089 I just came in a little late. 1177 00:44:26,123 --> 00:44:27,891 You really didn't have to call Brody. 1178 00:44:27,924 --> 00:44:28,925 Don't blame me, it's my maternal 1179 00:44:28,959 --> 00:44:33,030 instincts - I'm a slave to them. 1180 00:44:33,063 --> 00:44:34,164 Suddenly this day has just taken 1181 00:44:34,197 --> 00:44:35,966 a turn for the better. 1182 00:44:35,999 --> 00:44:39,169 Hello, my name is Diane. 1183 00:44:39,202 --> 00:44:40,370 I hope you enjoy the softer 1184 00:44:40,404 --> 00:44:41,271 of the two sexes. 1185 00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:42,773 Hi. 1186 00:44:42,806 --> 00:44:47,277 I'm officer Garcia...and I do. 1187 00:44:47,310 --> 00:44:48,745 Where were you? 1188 00:44:48,779 --> 00:44:49,946 I thought something happened. 1189 00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:51,515 Something did. 1190 00:44:51,548 --> 00:44:52,416 He was just about to tell me all 1191 00:44:52,449 --> 00:44:53,450 the sordid details. 1192 00:44:53,483 --> 00:44:54,918 I'm dying to hear them. 1193 00:44:54,951 --> 00:44:55,886 I have a feeling that most of them 1194 00:44:55,919 --> 00:44:56,987 are filthy. 1195 00:44:57,020 --> 00:44:58,288 Well, I can't right now. 1196 00:44:58,321 --> 00:44:59,322 I've got a ton of work 1197 00:44:59,356 --> 00:45:00,157 to catch up on. 1198 00:45:00,190 --> 00:45:03,260 So if you'd excuse me. 1199 00:45:03,293 --> 00:45:03,927 Are you serious? 1200 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,362 Is he serious? 1201 00:45:05,395 --> 00:45:07,764 Look, could you give us a minute? 1202 00:45:07,798 --> 00:45:09,099 You take all the time you need. 1203 00:45:09,132 --> 00:45:10,067 You. 1204 00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:14,037 Come with me. 1205 00:45:14,071 --> 00:45:14,604 Ok. 1206 00:45:14,638 --> 00:45:15,305 What were you doing? 1207 00:45:15,338 --> 00:45:16,139 What were you thinking, going to 1208 00:45:16,173 --> 00:45:16,807 some strangers house in the middle 1209 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,241 of the night for a hook up? 1210 00:45:18,275 --> 00:45:19,309 It was your idea. 1211 00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:20,510 I'm trying new things. 1212 00:45:20,544 --> 00:45:22,379 Plus, you do it all the time. 1213 00:45:22,412 --> 00:45:24,014 I'm different than you. 1214 00:45:24,047 --> 00:45:25,315 How? 1215 00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:26,149 I'm a cop. 1216 00:45:26,183 --> 00:45:27,851 I can defend myself, unlike you... 1217 00:45:27,884 --> 00:45:29,820 Oh please. 1218 00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:30,821 Myles. 1219 00:45:30,854 --> 00:45:31,922 I know guys, 1220 00:45:31,955 --> 00:45:32,756 some of them are real creeps. 1221 00:45:32,789 --> 00:45:35,192 I see what people are capable of. 1222 00:45:35,225 --> 00:45:36,393 I appreciate your concern. 1223 00:45:36,426 --> 00:45:37,360 Really, I do. 1224 00:45:37,394 --> 00:45:38,995 But I can take care of myself, 1225 00:45:39,029 --> 00:45:40,464 thank you. 1226 00:45:40,497 --> 00:45:41,431 Really? 1227 00:45:41,465 --> 00:45:42,833 Like the time those girls scouts 1228 00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:44,101 talked you into buying a dozen 1229 00:45:44,134 --> 00:45:45,869 boxes of cookies? 1230 00:45:45,902 --> 00:45:46,970 That wasn't my fault. 1231 00:45:47,003 --> 00:45:48,405 There were four of them and only 1232 00:45:48,438 --> 00:45:50,173 one of me. 1233 00:45:50,207 --> 00:45:51,141 So do you have a first name, 1234 00:45:51,174 --> 00:45:52,809 Officer Garcia? 1235 00:45:52,843 --> 00:45:55,812 It's Richard. 1236 00:45:55,846 --> 00:45:58,281 As in...? 1237 00:45:58,315 --> 00:46:00,550 Yes, Richard. 1238 00:46:00,584 --> 00:46:02,352 Uh huh. 1239 00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:03,019 I can see that you're 1240 00:46:03,053 --> 00:46:05,088 packing a lot of equipment. 1241 00:46:05,122 --> 00:46:06,323 Well, we're outfitted with the 1242 00:46:06,356 --> 00:46:09,860 proper gear to handle any situation. 1243 00:46:09,893 --> 00:46:12,929 I can see that. 1244 00:46:12,963 --> 00:46:15,065 Look, I've got to get to work. 1245 00:46:15,098 --> 00:46:16,299 Can we fight about this later? 1246 00:46:16,333 --> 00:46:21,938 Maybe, if I'm not too busy...dad 1247 00:46:21,972 --> 00:46:23,840 So what does a girl have to do to 1248 00:46:23,874 --> 00:46:25,609 get her hands on your nightstick 1249 00:46:25,642 --> 00:46:27,077 Well, it's actually bigger than it looks. 1250 00:46:27,110 --> 00:46:29,012 If you... 1251 00:46:29,045 --> 00:46:31,381 Let's go. 1252 00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:32,349 It's nice meeting you. 1253 00:46:32,382 --> 00:46:34,885 You too. 1254 00:46:34,918 --> 00:46:38,221 (mouthing) Oh My God! 1255 00:46:38,255 --> 00:46:39,856 So, what's the deal with Diane? 1256 00:46:39,890 --> 00:46:40,690 I know. 1257 00:46:40,724 --> 00:46:41,591 I'm sorry you got stuck with her. 1258 00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:43,994 She is a psycho. 1259 00:46:44,027 --> 00:46:44,961 I felt like a piece of meat for 1260 00:46:44,995 --> 00:46:47,597 her to chew on and spit out. 1261 00:46:47,631 --> 00:46:49,332 How awesome is that? 1262 00:46:49,366 --> 00:46:50,901 Wait. 1263 00:46:50,934 --> 00:46:51,568 What 1264 00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:52,602 "Muy Caliente" 1265 00:46:52,636 --> 00:46:53,503 Diane? 1266 00:46:53,537 --> 00:46:55,405 As in, you and Diane? 1267 00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:56,439 No, No, No. 1268 00:46:56,473 --> 00:46:57,274 That is a bad idea. 1269 00:46:57,307 --> 00:46:59,910 The two of you could not be more... 1270 00:46:59,943 --> 00:47:00,744 different. 1271 00:47:00,777 --> 00:47:01,912 Friction is what makes the heat, 1272 00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,113 my friend. 1273 00:47:03,146 --> 00:47:04,447 Besides, I'm packing... 1274 00:47:04,481 --> 00:47:06,983 and I carry a gun. 1275 00:47:07,017 --> 00:47:10,921 Let's leave the bad sexual puns to me. 1276 00:47:10,954 --> 00:47:14,357 So, what happened with Myles? 1277 00:47:14,391 --> 00:47:16,459 He went home 1278 00:47:16,493 --> 00:47:17,961 with some guy last night. 1279 00:47:17,994 --> 00:47:19,062 That's great. 1280 00:47:19,095 --> 00:47:20,397 Your plan worked. 1281 00:47:20,430 --> 00:47:21,398 Yeah. 1282 00:47:21,431 --> 00:47:23,033 I guess it did, right? 1283 00:47:23,066 --> 00:47:23,934 You should be happy; 1284 00:47:23,967 --> 00:47:24,568 you're off the hook. 1285 00:47:24,601 --> 00:47:25,335 Beers on me. 1286 00:47:25,368 --> 00:47:26,970 You pick the place. 1287 00:47:27,003 --> 00:47:32,442 Deal. 1288 00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:34,344 ♪ 1289 00:47:34,377 --> 00:47:35,011 He clearly doesn't know 1290 00:47:35,045 --> 00:47:39,616 I carry a gun. 1291 00:47:39,649 --> 00:47:40,517 Great. 1292 00:47:40,550 --> 00:47:41,184 Now he's going to like me 1293 00:47:41,218 --> 00:47:42,485 that much more! 1294 00:47:42,519 --> 00:47:43,553 I have gone to plenty of titty 1295 00:47:43,587 --> 00:47:44,387 bars with you. 1296 00:47:44,421 --> 00:47:46,156 You can get your gogo on with me. 1297 00:47:46,189 --> 00:47:46,723 In that case, 1298 00:47:46,756 --> 00:47:48,325 I need another drink. 1299 00:47:48,358 --> 00:47:54,364 Here, oh... 1300 00:48:00,570 --> 00:48:05,208 Hey! What the hell? 1301 00:48:05,242 --> 00:48:06,309 I'm sorry. 1302 00:48:06,343 --> 00:48:09,379 You just caught me off guard. 1303 00:48:09,412 --> 00:48:12,048 I was going to warn you about that. 1304 00:48:12,082 --> 00:48:13,149 No you weren't. 1305 00:48:13,183 --> 00:48:14,117 They're called mouth shots 1306 00:48:14,150 --> 00:48:14,951 for a reason. 1307 00:48:14,985 --> 00:48:15,652 What the hell other kind of shots 1308 00:48:15,685 --> 00:48:16,586 are there? 1309 00:48:16,620 --> 00:48:19,556 Don't answer that. 1310 00:48:19,589 --> 00:48:21,157 Alright, I gotta run. 1311 00:48:21,191 --> 00:48:22,359 Where are you going? 1312 00:48:22,392 --> 00:48:23,260 I told Diane I'd meet up with her 1313 00:48:23,293 --> 00:48:26,529 after she got off work. 1314 00:48:26,563 --> 00:48:31,501 Don't forget your handcuffs. 1315 00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:35,372 ♪ 1316 00:48:35,405 --> 00:48:41,378 (PHONE BUZZING) 1317 00:49:01,398 --> 00:49:04,100 Someone's having WWF Smackdown, 1318 00:49:04,134 --> 00:49:04,768 screaming until your neighbors 1319 00:49:04,801 --> 00:49:06,670 bang on the wall-style sex. 1320 00:49:06,703 --> 00:49:08,505 It shows? 1321 00:49:08,538 --> 00:49:09,306 I'm talking about myself and my 1322 00:49:09,339 --> 00:49:11,308 spicy Latino lover. 1323 00:49:11,341 --> 00:49:13,209 You and Richard? 1324 00:49:13,243 --> 00:49:14,477 It's kind of like a spin class - 1325 00:49:14,511 --> 00:49:15,679 hot and sweaty, but with 1326 00:49:15,712 --> 00:49:17,580 handcuffs, a nightstick and... 1327 00:49:17,614 --> 00:49:18,615 pepper spray. 1328 00:49:18,648 --> 00:49:21,685 Ok, pepper spray is too much. 1329 00:49:21,718 --> 00:49:23,086 How are you and Hunter doing? 1330 00:49:23,119 --> 00:49:24,254 Judging by the recent playlist of 1331 00:49:24,287 --> 00:49:25,255 eighties love songs, 1332 00:49:25,288 --> 00:49:28,425 I'd say it's going pretty well. 1333 00:49:28,458 --> 00:49:29,259 Awww. 1334 00:49:29,292 --> 00:49:30,760 You really are an Easy Bake Oven away 1335 00:49:30,794 --> 00:49:32,228 from being a twelve year old girl, 1336 00:49:32,262 --> 00:49:34,364 aren't you? 1337 00:49:34,397 --> 00:49:40,403 Bye love. 1338 00:49:48,378 --> 00:49:49,546 You ok partner? 1339 00:49:49,579 --> 00:49:51,281 I took the new recruits out last night, 1340 00:49:51,314 --> 00:49:52,349 to O'Malley's. 1341 00:49:52,382 --> 00:49:54,117 I don't know which is worse. 1342 00:49:54,150 --> 00:49:56,252 The gay bars or the Irish ones. 1343 00:49:56,286 --> 00:49:56,886 I guess it depends 1344 00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:57,520 on what you're looking for 1345 00:49:57,554 --> 00:49:59,089 at the end of the rainbow. 1346 00:49:59,122 --> 00:50:00,323 At this point I would settle for 1347 00:50:00,357 --> 00:50:01,691 a well hung Leprechaun. 1348 00:50:01,725 --> 00:50:02,192 That's why I'm glad 1349 00:50:02,225 --> 00:50:03,693 I'm dating again. 1350 00:50:03,727 --> 00:50:05,228 I'm in bed by 10 pm. 1351 00:50:05,261 --> 00:50:07,664 If I'm ever in bed by ten, 1352 00:50:07,697 --> 00:50:08,732 put a bullet in me. 1353 00:50:08,765 --> 00:50:09,766 I'm telling you, these past two 1354 00:50:09,799 --> 00:50:11,334 weeks have been great 1355 00:50:11,368 --> 00:50:13,703 and the sex with Diane is amazing. 1356 00:50:13,737 --> 00:50:14,404 Which reminds me, 1357 00:50:14,437 --> 00:50:15,772 I need some more pepper spray. 1358 00:50:15,805 --> 00:50:18,708 I'm not going to ask, besides, 1359 00:50:18,742 --> 00:50:20,210 the image of Diane having sex is 1360 00:50:20,243 --> 00:50:21,244 not something I want 1361 00:50:21,277 --> 00:50:22,512 stuck in my head all day. 1362 00:50:22,545 --> 00:50:23,313 Really? 1363 00:50:23,346 --> 00:50:25,548 Because I do. 1364 00:50:25,582 --> 00:50:26,716 Speaking of which, it's been two 1365 00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,318 weeks for Myles and his boyfriend. 1366 00:50:28,351 --> 00:50:30,086 I know because I'm patiently waiting 1367 00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:31,521 for him to get dumped again. 1368 00:50:31,554 --> 00:50:33,223 That's the kind of postive, healthy 1369 00:50:33,256 --> 00:50:34,557 support a best friend deserves. 1370 00:50:34,591 --> 00:50:36,559 Hey, I'm just waiting in the wings 1371 00:50:36,593 --> 00:50:37,627 like I always do for when he gets 1372 00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:39,562 his heart broken again. 1373 00:50:39,596 --> 00:50:40,430 Face it. 1374 00:50:40,463 --> 00:50:42,265 You miss him. 1375 00:50:42,298 --> 00:50:43,633 You don't know what you're 1376 00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:44,801 talking about. 1377 00:50:44,834 --> 00:50:46,770 If you say so, but I do know this: 1378 00:50:46,803 --> 00:50:48,838 if he were my friend and I missed him, 1379 00:50:48,872 --> 00:50:50,306 I'd grab a couple of beers, 1380 00:50:50,340 --> 00:50:51,641 some Chinese food 1381 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,543 and go over to his place after work. 1382 00:50:53,576 --> 00:50:55,345 Well, you're not me 1383 00:50:55,378 --> 00:51:01,317 and I don't need your advice. 1384 00:51:03,887 --> 00:51:05,488 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1385 00:51:05,522 --> 00:51:08,158 Come in. 1386 00:51:08,191 --> 00:51:09,192 Oh hey. 1387 00:51:09,225 --> 00:51:10,326 Brody. 1388 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,561 I thought it would be nice 1389 00:51:11,594 --> 00:51:13,463 if I surprised you with dinner. 1390 00:51:13,496 --> 00:51:15,632 That's actually a really nice surprise, 1391 00:51:15,665 --> 00:51:17,600 but I already have plans. 1392 00:51:17,634 --> 00:51:19,436 I can see you have plans. 1393 00:51:19,469 --> 00:51:20,770 Are you having Liberace over 1394 00:51:20,804 --> 00:51:21,771 for dinner? 1395 00:51:21,805 --> 00:51:23,206 What is this? 1396 00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:24,140 It's Hunter's first time 1397 00:51:24,174 --> 00:51:26,276 coming over tonight. 1398 00:51:26,309 --> 00:51:29,746 I wanted to do something special. 1399 00:51:29,779 --> 00:51:33,516 Well, we can do something another night. 1400 00:51:33,550 --> 00:51:35,919 You know you don't have to go. 1401 00:51:35,952 --> 00:51:37,587 You could join us if you want. 1402 00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:38,288 Don't be ridiculous. 1403 00:51:38,321 --> 00:51:40,790 You know I don't do threesomes. 1404 00:51:40,824 --> 00:51:46,429 Since when? 1405 00:51:46,463 --> 00:51:47,831 It's too much, isn't it. 1406 00:51:47,864 --> 00:51:48,698 What? 1407 00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:52,235 No it's ridiculous and over-the-top, 1408 00:51:52,268 --> 00:51:53,436 but it's you and that's what I 1409 00:51:53,470 --> 00:51:55,638 think is so nice about it. 1410 00:51:55,672 --> 00:51:57,440 Other guys may find it terrifying, 1411 00:51:57,474 --> 00:52:01,644 but I think it's wonderful. 1412 00:52:01,678 --> 00:52:03,179 You like that about me? 1413 00:52:03,213 --> 00:52:04,614 What that you're a psycho? 1414 00:52:04,647 --> 00:52:10,653 Yes, it makes me feel more normal. 1415 00:52:10,687 --> 00:52:12,322 Look finish getting ready and 1416 00:52:12,355 --> 00:52:14,724 we'll do something tomorrow. 1417 00:52:14,757 --> 00:52:17,727 Happy hour? 1418 00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:18,795 See you tomorrow. 1419 00:52:18,828 --> 00:52:24,801 Later! 1420 00:52:47,257 --> 00:52:53,229 (PHONE BEEPS) 1421 00:52:53,997 --> 00:52:56,799 Hello Stone. 1422 00:52:56,833 --> 00:53:02,839 I'll see you in five minutes. 1423 00:53:28,398 --> 00:53:29,499 Hey Brody. 1424 00:53:29,532 --> 00:53:31,267 Stone. 1425 00:53:31,301 --> 00:53:32,936 Come on in, have a drink. 1426 00:53:32,969 --> 00:53:34,637 I can see you've done this before. 1427 00:53:34,671 --> 00:53:36,839 Maybe once or twice. 1428 00:53:36,873 --> 00:53:39,442 So, how do you want to do this? 1429 00:53:39,475 --> 00:53:40,443 Quickly. 1430 00:53:40,476 --> 00:53:41,911 I have dinner in an hour. 1431 00:53:41,945 --> 00:53:45,682 I'm fine with being an appetizer. 1432 00:53:45,715 --> 00:53:46,516 Just so you know, 1433 00:53:46,549 --> 00:53:52,288 you're going to be late for dessert. 1434 00:53:52,322 --> 00:53:58,261 Fine by me. 1435 00:54:00,063 --> 00:54:03,833 (PHONE BUZZING) 1436 00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:04,801 Ignore it. 1437 00:54:04,834 --> 00:54:05,802 It's probably my date tonight. 1438 00:54:05,835 --> 00:54:07,003 He's obsessive compulsive. 1439 00:54:07,036 --> 00:54:08,037 How annoying. 1440 00:54:08,071 --> 00:54:13,309 I know, right? 1441 00:54:13,343 --> 00:54:14,477 I'm sorry, I can't. 1442 00:54:14,510 --> 00:54:15,812 Just get it. 1443 00:54:15,845 --> 00:54:21,551 I'll send it to voicemail. 1444 00:54:21,584 --> 00:54:23,920 Oh!! Please tell me 1445 00:54:23,953 --> 00:54:25,588 your name is not Hunter. 1446 00:54:25,622 --> 00:54:28,725 No, of course it's not. 1447 00:54:28,758 --> 00:54:30,493 Thank god. 1448 00:54:30,526 --> 00:54:31,728 Hunter's my hook-up name, 1449 00:54:31,761 --> 00:54:33,062 like "Stone". 1450 00:54:33,096 --> 00:54:34,864 Oh, Fuck me! 1451 00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:37,934 Sure, if you want me to be on top. 1452 00:54:37,967 --> 00:54:38,968 No. 1453 00:54:39,002 --> 00:54:40,837 As in God-damn it. 1454 00:54:40,870 --> 00:54:42,472 What's the problem? 1455 00:54:42,505 --> 00:54:44,007 Oh Man, I really wanted you to 1456 00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,708 turn out to be a good guy. 1457 00:54:45,742 --> 00:54:48,711 I am a good guy. 1458 00:54:48,745 --> 00:54:49,545 Well, 1459 00:54:49,579 --> 00:54:51,114 maybe not marriage material, but... 1460 00:54:51,147 --> 00:54:55,685 I gotta go. 1461 00:54:55,718 --> 00:54:57,387 Dude, chill out! 1462 00:54:57,420 --> 00:54:58,888 This is not a big deal. 1463 00:54:58,921 --> 00:55:00,390 Actually it is. 1464 00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:01,924 Myles is my best friend 1465 00:55:01,958 --> 00:55:03,593 and he's going to freak out 1466 00:55:03,626 --> 00:55:04,460 when he finds out 1467 00:55:04,494 --> 00:55:05,995 that I hooked up with his boyfriend. 1468 00:55:06,029 --> 00:55:07,030 Boyfriend? 1469 00:55:07,063 --> 00:55:08,898 We're not boyfriends. 1470 00:55:08,931 --> 00:55:09,632 Myles is a nice guy 1471 00:55:09,666 --> 00:55:10,733 and a decent lay, 1472 00:55:10,767 --> 00:55:12,869 but that's about where it ends. 1473 00:55:12,902 --> 00:55:14,937 Don't make me knock you out. 1474 00:55:14,971 --> 00:55:16,973 Hey, you're in my house, remember? 1475 00:55:17,006 --> 00:55:17,907 Ok, look. 1476 00:55:17,940 --> 00:55:19,075 This is how this is going to go. 1477 00:55:19,108 --> 00:55:21,611 You go have dinner with Myles and 1478 00:55:21,644 --> 00:55:23,046 you don't say anything about this. 1479 00:55:23,079 --> 00:55:25,448 This never happened. 1480 00:55:25,481 --> 00:55:26,149 You know what, 1481 00:55:26,182 --> 00:55:26,649 I really think you should leave. 1482 00:55:26,683 --> 00:55:28,418 I'm serious, now! 1483 00:55:28,451 --> 00:55:29,552 I'm not done here. 1484 00:55:29,585 --> 00:55:30,486 Yeah you are, 1485 00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,388 and if you don't leave I'll call the cops. 1486 00:55:32,422 --> 00:55:34,824 I'm a cop. 1487 00:55:34,857 --> 00:55:35,458 Yeah. 1488 00:55:35,491 --> 00:55:36,092 Well if that's the case, 1489 00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:37,460 then I'll just call Myles 1490 00:55:37,493 --> 00:55:38,828 and tell him I hooked up 1491 00:55:38,861 --> 00:55:40,963 with his best friend...the cop. 1492 00:55:40,997 --> 00:55:43,833 Ok, calm down. 1493 00:55:43,866 --> 00:55:45,702 I'll go, but I need you to promise 1494 00:55:45,735 --> 00:55:46,269 that you're not going to be an 1495 00:55:46,302 --> 00:55:47,937 asshole to Myles, ok? 1496 00:55:47,970 --> 00:55:49,572 Just go have dinner with him, 1497 00:55:49,605 --> 00:55:50,606 don't say anything about this. 1498 00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,609 I am asking you nicely. 1499 00:55:53,643 --> 00:55:54,777 See? 1500 00:55:54,811 --> 00:55:56,412 Now you're being a good boy. 1501 00:55:56,446 --> 00:55:57,080 Just so you know, 1502 00:55:57,113 --> 00:55:58,147 I'll do what I want. 1503 00:55:58,181 --> 00:55:59,582 And I'll start with throwing you out. 1504 00:55:59,615 --> 00:56:01,417 Got it? 1505 00:56:01,451 --> 00:56:02,485 I got it. 1506 00:56:02,518 --> 00:56:03,352 Good. 1507 00:56:03,386 --> 00:56:05,655 I'm glad we're on the same page again. 1508 00:56:05,688 --> 00:56:09,158 Now leave! 1509 00:56:09,192 --> 00:56:09,992 Asshole. 1510 00:56:10,026 --> 00:56:16,032 Asshole. 1511 00:56:20,603 --> 00:56:26,576 (PHONE BEEPS) 1512 00:56:57,874 --> 00:57:03,880 (PHONE RINGING) 1513 00:57:14,657 --> 00:57:18,094 Hey Myles. 1514 00:57:18,127 --> 00:57:22,031 Hunter broke up with me. 1515 00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:22,999 Awe. 1516 00:57:23,032 --> 00:57:27,603 I'm so sorry, Myles. 1517 00:57:27,637 --> 00:57:30,540 Could you come over? 1518 00:57:30,573 --> 00:57:34,544 Death by chocolate? 1519 00:57:34,577 --> 00:57:39,182 Death by homemade tiramisu. 1520 00:57:39,215 --> 00:57:45,221 I'll be right there. 1521 00:57:47,290 --> 00:57:49,192 One day, you are going to find a guy 1522 00:57:49,225 --> 00:57:51,828 who see's what a great catch you are. 1523 00:57:51,861 --> 00:57:52,662 You are going to make someone 1524 00:57:52,695 --> 00:57:56,232 the best husband. 1525 00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:58,568 What about you? 1526 00:57:58,601 --> 00:58:00,703 I am not a catch. 1527 00:58:00,736 --> 00:58:01,671 Well that's not true. 1528 00:58:01,704 --> 00:58:03,206 Yes, it is. 1529 00:58:03,239 --> 00:58:06,676 Look, I'm not like you. 1530 00:58:06,709 --> 00:58:08,845 Anybody who would pass up an 1531 00:58:08,878 --> 00:58:11,314 amazing evening like this, 1532 00:58:11,347 --> 00:58:17,053 with you, is a fool. 1533 00:58:17,086 --> 00:58:18,254 Well, I'm obviously doing 1534 00:58:18,287 --> 00:58:19,989 something wrong. 1535 00:58:20,022 --> 00:58:21,791 You have lousy taste in men. 1536 00:58:21,824 --> 00:58:23,626 Take Hunter... 1537 00:58:23,659 --> 00:58:24,560 Let's not talk about him. 1538 00:58:24,594 --> 00:58:25,261 I think we should... 1539 00:58:25,294 --> 00:58:26,295 I really don't want to. 1540 00:58:26,329 --> 00:58:32,535 Let me finish. 1541 00:58:33,769 --> 00:58:34,637 Anybody who would break up with 1542 00:58:34,670 --> 00:58:36,639 you in a text is a creep 1543 00:58:36,672 --> 00:58:38,040 and not worth your time. 1544 00:58:38,074 --> 00:58:40,042 You think I don't know that? 1545 00:58:40,076 --> 00:58:42,345 I didn't even text him back. 1546 00:58:42,378 --> 00:58:43,179 I'm sick of being mistreated 1547 00:58:43,212 --> 00:58:44,080 by asshole guys 1548 00:58:44,113 --> 00:58:46,883 who don't appreciate me. 1549 00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:50,052 Good for you Myles. 1550 00:58:50,086 --> 00:58:54,590 Now, can we just move on? 1551 00:58:54,624 --> 00:58:55,591 Let's just enjoy the fact that 1552 00:58:55,625 --> 00:58:56,726 we're hanging out together. 1553 00:58:56,759 --> 00:58:57,894 Yes. 1554 00:58:57,927 --> 00:58:59,195 Let's make tonight about this 1555 00:58:59,228 --> 00:59:01,597 amazing tiramisu that you made. 1556 00:59:01,631 --> 00:59:05,635 - And us. - And us. 1557 00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:16,045 So, run this by me one more time. 1558 00:59:16,078 --> 00:59:16,679 Why didn't you tell him what 1559 00:59:16,712 --> 00:59:19,248 happened the other night? 1560 00:59:19,282 --> 00:59:21,250 I just couldn't. 1561 00:59:21,284 --> 00:59:22,385 If you knew Myles and how upset it 1562 00:59:22,418 --> 00:59:23,185 would make him, trust me, 1563 00:59:23,219 --> 00:59:24,854 you wouldn't have told him either. 1564 00:59:24,887 --> 00:59:27,256 Actually, yes, I would have. 1565 00:59:27,290 --> 00:59:29,659 Myles can't handle these things. 1566 00:59:29,692 --> 00:59:30,493 He's a grown man. 1567 00:59:30,526 --> 00:59:32,795 Yeah, on the outside maybe but on 1568 00:59:32,828 --> 00:59:36,165 the inside he's all...Hello Kitty. 1569 00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,767 He's never going to find out. 1570 00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:39,068 That's not how it works. 1571 00:59:39,101 --> 00:59:41,370 Trust me, they always find out. 1572 00:59:41,404 --> 00:59:42,805 And even if they don't, you'll 1573 00:59:42,838 --> 00:59:43,739 always think in the back of your 1574 00:59:43,773 --> 00:59:44,774 head that they know something, 1575 00:59:44,807 --> 00:59:46,008 but just aren't saying anything. 1576 00:59:46,042 --> 00:59:46,709 Does someone have a little 1577 00:59:46,742 --> 00:59:47,343 baggage from a past relationship 1578 00:59:47,376 --> 00:59:49,779 they want to talk about? 1579 00:59:49,812 --> 00:59:51,380 Let's just say, I had to learn the hard way. 1580 00:59:51,414 --> 00:59:52,381 Fine. 1581 00:59:52,415 --> 00:59:57,119 I'll talk to him tonight. 1582 00:59:57,153 --> 00:59:57,920 Ok? 1583 00:59:57,954 --> 00:59:59,655 Alright. 1584 00:59:59,689 --> 01:00:05,695 ♪ 1585 01:00:08,764 --> 01:00:10,066 How you doing? 1586 01:00:10,099 --> 01:00:11,367 I liked him. 1587 01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:12,802 He was a great guy. 1588 01:00:12,835 --> 01:00:14,770 He wasn't that great. 1589 01:00:14,804 --> 01:00:16,205 Hi Brody... Martini? 1590 01:00:16,238 --> 01:00:17,039 No thanks. 1591 01:00:17,073 --> 01:00:18,274 I'm probably just going to get it 1592 01:00:18,307 --> 01:00:21,077 thrown in my face. 1593 01:00:21,110 --> 01:00:22,178 What did you do? 1594 01:00:22,211 --> 01:00:23,245 Can I just start off by saying 1595 01:00:23,279 --> 01:00:26,415 that it was not my fault. 1596 01:00:26,449 --> 01:00:27,917 That is the worst way 1597 01:00:27,950 --> 01:00:28,951 to start a conversation. 1598 01:00:28,985 --> 01:00:30,252 That's like saying, 1599 01:00:30,286 --> 01:00:32,054 "I know this looks bad", or, 1600 01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:34,090 "This is just going to hurt a little bit." 1601 01:00:34,123 --> 01:00:34,790 I can tell already, 1602 01:00:34,824 --> 01:00:37,326 this is not going to end well. 1603 01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:38,394 I've known you for over ten years. 1604 01:00:38,427 --> 01:00:39,195 Nothing you say is going to 1605 01:00:39,228 --> 01:00:41,397 bother me or surprise me anymore. 1606 01:00:41,430 --> 01:00:43,432 So just tell me. 1607 01:00:43,466 --> 01:00:47,169 I ran Hunter's ID down at the station. 1608 01:00:47,203 --> 01:00:48,838 His real name is Steven Adams. 1609 01:00:48,871 --> 01:00:50,906 He's from Nebraska. 1610 01:00:50,940 --> 01:00:52,008 Well, I know where he's from. 1611 01:00:52,041 --> 01:00:53,376 I didn't know his name wasn't Hunter. 1612 01:00:53,409 --> 01:00:55,277 Yeah and it's not Stone either. 1613 01:00:55,311 --> 01:00:56,345 That's my point. 1614 01:00:56,379 --> 01:00:57,346 What's the point? 1615 01:00:57,380 --> 01:00:58,080 And who is Stone? 1616 01:00:58,114 --> 01:00:58,914 Exactly! 1617 01:00:58,948 --> 01:01:00,750 Neither of us knew his real name. 1618 01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:04,987 Just tell me what happened. 1619 01:01:05,021 --> 01:01:06,822 After I left your place the other night, 1620 01:01:06,856 --> 01:01:12,862 I went on Grindr to meet someone. 1621 01:01:13,062 --> 01:01:14,063 You hooked up with Hunter? 1622 01:01:14,096 --> 01:01:15,364 I didn't know it was him! 1623 01:01:15,398 --> 01:01:16,866 He said his name was Stone. 1624 01:01:16,899 --> 01:01:18,300 I mean, who uses that name anyway. 1625 01:01:18,334 --> 01:01:19,335 He texted me on Grindr, 1626 01:01:19,368 --> 01:01:20,302 I went over there. 1627 01:01:20,336 --> 01:01:21,871 I did not know what I was doing 1628 01:01:21,904 --> 01:01:22,838 was wrong. 1629 01:01:22,872 --> 01:01:24,240 I would never do that to you. 1630 01:01:24,273 --> 01:01:24,940 You suck. 1631 01:01:24,974 --> 01:01:25,908 How was I supposed to know? 1632 01:01:25,941 --> 01:01:27,910 It's not like you introduced me to the guy. 1633 01:01:27,943 --> 01:01:29,311 You're the one that ruined this for me. 1634 01:01:29,345 --> 01:01:30,980 I met a great guy and you just 1635 01:01:31,013 --> 01:01:32,214 couldn't stand it, could you? 1636 01:01:32,248 --> 01:01:34,517 He is not a great guy, believe me. 1637 01:01:34,550 --> 01:01:35,785 Certainly not the Prince Charming 1638 01:01:35,818 --> 01:01:36,786 you think he is. 1639 01:01:36,819 --> 01:01:38,254 Trust me, Hunter is a creep. 1640 01:01:38,287 --> 01:01:41,457 Trust you? 1641 01:01:41,490 --> 01:01:42,858 Think about it Myles. 1642 01:01:42,892 --> 01:01:44,460 It's always the same with with you. 1643 01:01:44,493 --> 01:01:45,961 You bring this on yourself. 1644 01:01:45,995 --> 01:01:48,130 You keep thinking that one guy is 1645 01:01:48,164 --> 01:01:49,331 going to be exactly what you need 1646 01:01:49,365 --> 01:01:50,933 to be happy. 1647 01:01:50,966 --> 01:01:57,006 It is not the case, never will be. 1648 01:01:57,039 --> 01:02:00,409 Well, sadly that's true isn't it? 1649 01:02:00,443 --> 01:02:02,445 You're right, things have got to change. 1650 01:02:02,478 --> 01:02:03,145 I gotta to go, 1651 01:02:03,179 --> 01:02:04,547 sorry I can't do this anymore. 1652 01:02:04,580 --> 01:02:06,048 Wait, what? 1653 01:02:06,082 --> 01:02:11,353 One martini. Dirty. 1654 01:02:11,387 --> 01:02:13,289 Myles. 1655 01:02:13,322 --> 01:02:19,328 Myles. 1656 01:02:28,237 --> 01:02:29,438 Look at this guy. 1657 01:02:29,472 --> 01:02:30,473 He didn't even attempt to slow 1658 01:02:30,506 --> 01:02:32,808 down when he saw us. 1659 01:02:32,842 --> 01:02:33,909 So light him up! 1660 01:02:33,943 --> 01:02:35,044 He was only going forty. 1661 01:02:35,077 --> 01:02:36,512 He's speeding right in front of us. 1662 01:02:36,545 --> 01:02:38,214 People need to learn to respect authority. 1663 01:02:38,247 --> 01:02:39,115 Light him up! 1664 01:02:39,148 --> 01:02:40,149 It's not a big deal. 1665 01:02:40,182 --> 01:02:42,885 I said, let's get them! 1666 01:02:42,918 --> 01:02:44,220 So now you're that asshole cop who 1667 01:02:44,253 --> 01:02:45,855 chases down an '87 Corolla for going 1668 01:02:45,888 --> 01:02:47,857 fifteen miles over the speed limit? 1669 01:02:47,890 --> 01:02:50,926 Yes. 1670 01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:51,594 You really need to straighten 1671 01:02:51,627 --> 01:02:53,329 this thing out with Myles. 1672 01:02:53,362 --> 01:02:55,898 I've tried calling, texting, emailing him. 1673 01:02:55,931 --> 01:02:56,499 He obviously doesn't want 1674 01:02:56,532 --> 01:02:58,868 to talk to me. 1675 01:02:58,901 --> 01:02:59,869 I may not be the smartest guy in the 1676 01:02:59,902 --> 01:03:01,203 world but I can take a hint when 1677 01:03:01,237 --> 01:03:02,238 someone doesn't want to see me. 1678 01:03:02,271 --> 01:03:03,305 You have to go over there 1679 01:03:03,339 --> 01:03:04,140 and work this out. 1680 01:03:04,173 --> 01:03:06,342 Knock his door down if you have to. 1681 01:03:06,375 --> 01:03:08,377 He doesn't want to talk to me. 1682 01:03:08,410 --> 01:03:10,045 You're a cop for Christ's sake. 1683 01:03:10,079 --> 01:03:10,913 Pull your balls out of your ass 1684 01:03:10,946 --> 01:03:12,548 and man up. 1685 01:03:12,581 --> 01:03:13,883 You miss him. 1686 01:03:13,916 --> 01:03:16,986 Make it right. 1687 01:03:17,019 --> 01:03:23,025 Fine. 1688 01:03:27,129 --> 01:03:29,899 Myles, open up. 1689 01:03:29,932 --> 01:03:31,033 Myles, come on, open up. 1690 01:03:31,066 --> 01:03:31,934 I need you to open up, 1691 01:03:31,967 --> 01:03:33,569 just talk to me. 1692 01:03:33,602 --> 01:03:34,637 Knock one more time and I'm 1693 01:03:34,670 --> 01:03:40,843 calling the cops. 1694 01:03:42,244 --> 01:03:44,280 Officer. 1695 01:03:44,313 --> 01:03:45,581 Under-cover, huh? 1696 01:03:45,614 --> 01:03:47,149 A sting operation. 1697 01:03:47,183 --> 01:03:48,450 I get it. 1698 01:03:48,484 --> 01:03:50,186 Still after Myles? 1699 01:03:50,219 --> 01:03:51,153 Have you seen him? 1700 01:03:51,187 --> 01:03:52,454 Nope. 1701 01:03:52,488 --> 01:03:53,956 What did he do? 1702 01:03:53,989 --> 01:03:55,524 He didn't do anything. 1703 01:03:55,558 --> 01:03:58,093 It's always the quiet ones. 1704 01:03:58,127 --> 01:04:00,462 I knew he was a bad seed. 1705 01:04:00,496 --> 01:04:03,132 That isn't the case, sir. 1706 01:04:03,165 --> 01:04:05,100 Of course you can't say anything. 1707 01:04:05,134 --> 01:04:07,670 I know what's going on. 1708 01:04:07,703 --> 01:04:08,904 I just hope you get the 1709 01:04:08,938 --> 01:04:14,944 son-of-a bitch! 1710 01:04:20,282 --> 01:04:22,218 Myles. 1711 01:04:22,251 --> 01:04:26,322 Come on. 1712 01:04:26,355 --> 01:04:28,357 Myles. 1713 01:04:28,390 --> 01:04:32,194 ♪ 1714 01:04:32,228 --> 01:04:34,230 Pizza, wings and beer. 1715 01:04:34,263 --> 01:04:39,201 Who needs men? 1716 01:04:39,235 --> 01:04:41,971 We'll have more fun without them. 1717 01:04:42,004 --> 01:04:42,671 No we won't. 1718 01:04:42,705 --> 01:04:45,941 You're right. 1719 01:04:45,975 --> 01:04:46,575 I'll try not to bitch about 1720 01:04:46,609 --> 01:04:48,110 how much men suck tonight. 1721 01:04:48,143 --> 01:04:49,311 Why? 1722 01:04:49,345 --> 01:04:51,447 It's my favorite subject. 1723 01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:52,348 Luckily for you I have the perfect 1724 01:04:52,381 --> 01:04:53,649 evening planned. 1725 01:04:53,682 --> 01:04:58,621 Comfort food, ice cream and... 1726 01:04:58,654 --> 01:05:00,556 a romantic movie. 1727 01:05:00,589 --> 01:05:02,491 I love that we are doing this. 1728 01:05:02,524 --> 01:05:03,692 I do it every day. 1729 01:05:03,726 --> 01:05:05,060 What about RIchard? 1730 01:05:05,094 --> 01:05:06,095 Are you kidding? 1731 01:05:06,128 --> 01:05:07,196 It's his favorite thing. 1732 01:05:07,229 --> 01:05:09,031 Two bowls of pistachio froyo, 1733 01:05:09,064 --> 01:05:10,666 twin snuggies and a romantic movie. 1734 01:05:10,699 --> 01:05:13,202 We cry all night long. 1735 01:05:13,235 --> 01:05:14,403 Lucky bitch. 1736 01:05:14,436 --> 01:05:18,574 I know. 1737 01:05:18,607 --> 01:05:20,609 Diane, I need to tell you something. 1738 01:05:20,643 --> 01:05:22,611 Please don't be upset. 1739 01:05:22,645 --> 01:05:23,712 Any conversation that begins with, 1740 01:05:23,746 --> 01:05:27,416 "please don't be upset", upsets me. 1741 01:05:27,449 --> 01:05:29,318 I need to start fresh. 1742 01:05:29,351 --> 01:05:32,121 Get somewhere far away from here. 1743 01:05:32,154 --> 01:05:33,722 You're moving to the Valley? 1744 01:05:33,756 --> 01:05:35,157 No, I'm thinking of transferring 1745 01:05:35,190 --> 01:05:36,759 to the New York office. 1746 01:05:36,792 --> 01:05:38,060 There's a job opening there 1747 01:05:38,093 --> 01:05:40,029 for a senior litigator 1748 01:05:40,062 --> 01:05:41,263 that starts next week. 1749 01:05:41,297 --> 01:05:42,231 I know you're not going 1750 01:05:42,264 --> 01:05:43,032 to agree with this... 1751 01:05:43,065 --> 01:05:45,167 You want to leave 1752 01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,436 and move to New York? 1753 01:05:47,469 --> 01:05:49,705 We both know I should go. 1754 01:05:49,738 --> 01:05:50,639 Actually, we don't. 1755 01:05:50,673 --> 01:05:51,607 I think you're running away 1756 01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:52,675 from your problems. 1757 01:05:52,708 --> 01:05:53,342 Please don't make this any harder 1758 01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:54,777 for me than it already is. 1759 01:05:54,810 --> 01:05:56,211 I really need to do this. 1760 01:05:56,245 --> 01:05:58,113 No you don't! 1761 01:05:58,147 --> 01:06:00,449 It's an irrational, impetuous and 1762 01:06:00,482 --> 01:06:02,384 totally emotionally clouded decision. 1763 01:06:02,418 --> 01:06:04,119 I need to break this cycle and I 1764 01:06:04,153 --> 01:06:09,491 can't do it from Los Angeles. 1765 01:06:09,525 --> 01:06:11,593 Fine. 1766 01:06:11,627 --> 01:06:13,062 I'll concede. 1767 01:06:13,095 --> 01:06:15,631 But only under one condition. 1768 01:06:15,664 --> 01:06:17,700 Let the negotiations begin. 1769 01:06:17,733 --> 01:06:18,701 You have to let me have a going 1770 01:06:18,734 --> 01:06:20,369 away party for you this weekend. 1771 01:06:20,402 --> 01:06:21,136 Absolutely not. 1772 01:06:21,170 --> 01:06:22,071 No party. 1773 01:06:22,104 --> 01:06:23,138 Just a few friends over for 1774 01:06:23,172 --> 01:06:23,739 drinks at my place? 1775 01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:24,640 No more than six. 1776 01:06:24,673 --> 01:06:30,679 Deal. 1777 01:06:33,182 --> 01:06:33,849 So how are you going to tell 1778 01:06:33,882 --> 01:06:34,483 Brody that you're moving to the 1779 01:06:34,516 --> 01:06:40,456 other side of the country? 1780 01:06:42,224 --> 01:06:46,795 I don't know yet. 1781 01:06:46,829 --> 01:06:53,035 I could have Richard do it. 1782 01:06:56,171 --> 01:07:02,144 Brody. 1783 01:07:03,545 --> 01:07:09,518 And to think he's a cop. 1784 01:07:13,422 --> 01:07:19,428 (TELEVISION SOUNDS) 1785 01:07:27,169 --> 01:07:28,103 If you were a horse. 1786 01:07:28,137 --> 01:07:33,142 I'd be obliged to put you down. 1787 01:07:33,175 --> 01:07:34,109 What time is it? 1788 01:07:34,143 --> 01:07:35,377 Am I late? 1789 01:07:35,411 --> 01:07:37,279 Let's just say you're early for lunch. 1790 01:07:37,312 --> 01:07:40,549 Why don't you get in the shower? 1791 01:07:40,582 --> 01:07:43,485 So, how long is this going to go on? 1792 01:07:43,519 --> 01:07:44,853 Just give me five minutes 1793 01:07:44,887 --> 01:07:47,122 to take a shower, ok? 1794 01:07:47,156 --> 01:07:47,823 Not the shower. 1795 01:07:47,856 --> 01:07:48,891 The self-pity and depression. 1796 01:07:48,924 --> 01:07:51,360 It's been every night this week. 1797 01:07:51,393 --> 01:07:52,594 Hey, I've finally found something 1798 01:07:52,628 --> 01:07:53,495 I'm good at. 1799 01:07:53,529 --> 01:07:57,166 Why quit when I've almost mastered it? 1800 01:07:57,199 --> 01:07:58,600 Well, since you're already down, 1801 01:07:58,634 --> 01:08:00,536 I've got something else for you. 1802 01:08:00,569 --> 01:08:02,771 It's an invitation. 1803 01:08:02,805 --> 01:08:04,373 From who? 1804 01:08:04,406 --> 01:08:05,607 Diane. 1805 01:08:05,641 --> 01:08:10,145 She's having a few people over. 1806 01:08:10,179 --> 01:08:11,647 Is Myles going to be there? 1807 01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:12,881 Yep. 1808 01:08:12,915 --> 01:08:14,550 This is the perfect opportunity for 1809 01:08:14,583 --> 01:08:17,586 me to smooth things out with Myles. 1810 01:08:17,619 --> 01:08:21,290 In theory. 1811 01:08:21,323 --> 01:08:23,158 Was this Diane's idea? 1812 01:08:23,192 --> 01:08:25,861 Absolutely. 1813 01:08:25,894 --> 01:08:27,329 So you'll come? 1814 01:08:27,362 --> 01:08:28,263 Hell yeah. 1815 01:08:28,297 --> 01:08:34,169 Now I got something to look forward to. 1816 01:08:34,203 --> 01:08:40,175 Me too. 1817 01:08:41,877 --> 01:08:46,748 ♪ 1818 01:08:46,782 --> 01:08:48,884 I kept it small like you wanted. 1819 01:08:48,917 --> 01:08:50,752 I asked you not to do anything. 1820 01:08:50,786 --> 01:08:53,522 This was my compromise. 1821 01:08:53,555 --> 01:08:54,923 I'll miss you. 1822 01:08:54,957 --> 01:08:56,892 I'm well aware. 1823 01:08:56,925 --> 01:08:58,694 I still can't believe you're doing this. 1824 01:08:58,727 --> 01:09:00,195 Five days on the open road will 1825 01:09:00,229 --> 01:09:02,331 do me good. 1826 01:09:02,364 --> 01:09:03,565 Wait until you hit Nevada. 1827 01:09:03,599 --> 01:09:04,399 You're going to regret that decision 1828 01:09:04,433 --> 01:09:06,301 all the way to the Statue of Liberty. 1829 01:09:06,335 --> 01:09:07,269 Brody's here. 1830 01:09:07,302 --> 01:09:07,870 I'll be in the bomb shelter 1831 01:09:07,903 --> 01:09:08,670 if anyone's needs me. 1832 01:09:08,704 --> 01:09:10,205 Oh no, you're not going anywhere. 1833 01:09:10,239 --> 01:09:10,839 We need someone 1834 01:09:10,873 --> 01:09:12,641 who can operate a handgun. 1835 01:09:12,674 --> 01:09:14,610 Hey! 1836 01:09:14,643 --> 01:09:17,212 Thank you so much for inviting me. 1837 01:09:17,246 --> 01:09:18,247 It's good to see you. 1838 01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:19,982 So, what's the occasion? 1839 01:09:20,015 --> 01:09:26,221 You got a promotion, right? 1840 01:09:26,655 --> 01:09:28,724 Richard, will you help me dear? 1841 01:09:28,757 --> 01:09:30,826 Oh, and bring a shovel. 1842 01:09:30,859 --> 01:09:31,627 Would you excuse us? 1843 01:09:31,660 --> 01:09:32,461 He's going to be very busy digging 1844 01:09:32,494 --> 01:09:37,933 a six by three foot hole out back. 1845 01:09:37,966 --> 01:09:40,502 What was that about? 1846 01:09:40,536 --> 01:09:41,436 It's just that this isn't exactly 1847 01:09:41,470 --> 01:09:43,472 a party for my promotion. 1848 01:09:43,505 --> 01:09:45,774 So, you didn't get a promotion? 1849 01:09:45,807 --> 01:09:47,409 I technically did, I guess you 1850 01:09:47,442 --> 01:09:48,844 could say that. 1851 01:09:48,877 --> 01:09:50,746 Well, congrats! 1852 01:09:50,779 --> 01:09:53,682 It's also a going away party. 1853 01:09:53,715 --> 01:09:59,655 For who? 1854 01:09:59,688 --> 01:10:04,760 Oh, you're leaving. 1855 01:10:04,793 --> 01:10:08,363 Where? When? 1856 01:10:08,397 --> 01:10:10,766 I head out on Saturday morning. 1857 01:10:10,799 --> 01:10:13,802 Drive across country to New York. 1858 01:10:13,835 --> 01:10:17,406 Saturday to New York and this is 1859 01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:18,907 how you tell me? 1860 01:10:18,941 --> 01:10:20,309 Well Richard was going to tell you. 1861 01:10:20,342 --> 01:10:23,812 You asked Richard to tell me? 1862 01:10:23,845 --> 01:10:28,917 Diane did. 1863 01:10:28,951 --> 01:10:30,686 How could you leave and not say 1864 01:10:30,719 --> 01:10:33,021 anything to me? 1865 01:10:33,055 --> 01:10:34,389 I haven't left yet. 1866 01:10:34,423 --> 01:10:37,893 Yeah, but you're planning on it Myles. 1867 01:10:37,926 --> 01:10:38,594 Why? 1868 01:10:38,627 --> 01:10:39,695 Because I don't have a reason 1869 01:10:39,728 --> 01:10:42,397 to stay anymore. 1870 01:10:42,431 --> 01:10:46,668 I'm not a good enough reason? 1871 01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:49,037 You tell me, Brody. 1872 01:10:49,071 --> 01:10:50,472 If this is about the Hunter thing, 1873 01:10:50,505 --> 01:10:52,441 I told you I did not mean 1874 01:10:52,474 --> 01:10:53,275 to mess it up for you. 1875 01:10:53,308 --> 01:10:55,811 I was just trying to protect you. 1876 01:10:55,844 --> 01:10:56,545 I know that 1877 01:10:56,578 --> 01:10:58,313 and I'm not mad about it anymore. 1878 01:10:58,347 --> 01:10:59,615 I'm the reason I need to leave. 1879 01:10:59,648 --> 01:11:02,584 I need to grow up and stop looking for 1880 01:11:02,618 --> 01:11:04,686 my Prince Charming to come and save me. 1881 01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:05,654 That is what I've been telling 1882 01:11:05,687 --> 01:11:07,356 you the whole time. 1883 01:11:07,389 --> 01:11:12,761 Well then, I agree with you. 1884 01:11:12,794 --> 01:11:15,530 So you think that going to New York 1885 01:11:15,564 --> 01:11:17,733 is what's going to make you happy. 1886 01:11:17,766 --> 01:11:20,602 It's a start. 1887 01:11:20,636 --> 01:11:25,841 Well then, I guess that's that. 1888 01:11:25,874 --> 01:11:31,847 I guess so. 1889 01:11:45,394 --> 01:11:51,366 ♪ 1890 01:11:55,604 --> 01:12:01,610 (PHONE BEEPS) 1891 01:12:32,874 --> 01:12:34,643 Can I get you another? 1892 01:12:34,676 --> 01:12:35,844 No. 1893 01:12:35,877 --> 01:12:41,850 I'm good, thanks. 1894 01:12:47,022 --> 01:12:48,824 I'm mad at you. 1895 01:12:48,857 --> 01:12:50,992 I know, 1896 01:12:51,026 --> 01:12:52,861 but being that I'm your only friend now 1897 01:12:52,894 --> 01:12:54,796 and your partner at work, 1898 01:12:54,830 --> 01:12:55,897 I think you're going to have to 1899 01:12:55,931 --> 01:13:00,035 get over it pretty quickly. 1900 01:13:00,068 --> 01:13:03,905 You knew that was a going away party. 1901 01:13:03,939 --> 01:13:06,508 I'm sorry I didn't tell you, 1902 01:13:06,541 --> 01:13:07,209 but I figured you deserved 1903 01:13:07,242 --> 01:13:08,944 to hear it directly from Myles. 1904 01:13:08,977 --> 01:13:10,912 Plus, if I had told you, you 1905 01:13:10,946 --> 01:13:12,180 wouldn't have come to say goodbye. 1906 01:13:12,214 --> 01:13:14,082 You don't know me. 1907 01:13:14,116 --> 01:13:17,786 It's like we never even met. 1908 01:13:17,819 --> 01:13:19,020 You know, he's right? 1909 01:13:19,054 --> 01:13:20,088 It is better for both of us 1910 01:13:20,122 --> 01:13:22,924 if he just leaves. 1911 01:13:22,958 --> 01:13:25,527 Well, you certainly know what's best. 1912 01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:26,461 I'm not like Myles, 1913 01:13:26,495 --> 01:13:28,230 I don't need anyone. 1914 01:13:28,263 --> 01:13:28,897 It's true. 1915 01:13:28,930 --> 01:13:30,499 You're not miserable at all 1916 01:13:30,532 --> 01:13:32,534 when he's gone. 1917 01:13:32,567 --> 01:13:34,469 Myles is a hopeless romantic. 1918 01:13:34,503 --> 01:13:36,972 All he wants is someone to love him. 1919 01:13:37,005 --> 01:13:40,008 Yeah, so unreasonable. 1920 01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:41,543 Plus, he's a people pleaser. 1921 01:13:41,576 --> 01:13:44,045 All he cares about is the guy he's with. 1922 01:13:44,079 --> 01:13:44,913 That's horrible. 1923 01:13:44,946 --> 01:13:46,515 I can see why guys would hate that. 1924 01:13:46,548 --> 01:13:47,849 Myles is like a penguin. 1925 01:13:47,883 --> 01:13:49,885 He will bond to you, 1926 01:13:49,918 --> 01:13:52,053 he's dependable and trustworthy. 1927 01:13:52,087 --> 01:13:55,557 I'm really starting to hate that guy. 1928 01:13:55,590 --> 01:13:57,092 I mean, could you imagine if 1929 01:13:57,125 --> 01:13:58,827 Myles and I were together. 1930 01:13:58,860 --> 01:14:00,128 Not at all. 1931 01:14:00,162 --> 01:14:01,797 It's crazy to think that two 1932 01:14:01,830 --> 01:14:03,231 people who care about each other 1933 01:14:03,265 --> 01:14:06,067 as much as you two do would ever, 1934 01:14:06,101 --> 01:14:09,504 ever want to be in a relationship. 1935 01:14:09,538 --> 01:14:11,573 I know, right? I mean, 1936 01:14:11,606 --> 01:14:13,575 if Myles were the perfect guy for me, 1937 01:14:13,608 --> 01:14:15,844 I would have realized that years ago. 1938 01:14:15,877 --> 01:14:17,078 Absolutely. 1939 01:14:17,112 --> 01:14:18,146 I mean there is no way you'd overlook 1940 01:14:18,180 --> 01:14:21,817 something so obvious for so long. 1941 01:14:21,850 --> 01:14:24,186 Exactly. 1942 01:14:24,219 --> 01:14:26,688 Myles just wants to be married. 1943 01:14:26,721 --> 01:14:32,727 And all I want is for him to be happy. 1944 01:14:34,996 --> 01:14:35,764 Then I guess the only way 1945 01:14:35,797 --> 01:14:37,532 for that to happen 1946 01:14:37,566 --> 01:14:43,104 is to remove you from his life. 1947 01:14:43,138 --> 01:14:49,110 Yeah, I guess. 1948 01:14:51,980 --> 01:14:57,986 ♪ 1949 01:15:56,411 --> 01:15:59,814 To Brody. 1950 01:15:59,848 --> 01:16:02,250 I hope you find someone to love you. 1951 01:16:02,284 --> 01:16:08,256 I hope you find someone to love. 1952 01:16:23,038 --> 01:16:25,240 Dearly beloved, we are gathered 1953 01:16:25,273 --> 01:16:27,642 here today to bear witness to the 1954 01:16:27,676 --> 01:16:30,712 matrimony of these two men. 1955 01:16:30,745 --> 01:16:33,014 This is a relationship that stands 1956 01:16:33,048 --> 01:16:38,320 for love and loyalty. 1957 01:16:38,353 --> 01:16:39,854 This is a relationship that 1958 01:16:39,888 --> 01:16:42,991 stands for honesty and trust. 1959 01:16:43,024 --> 01:16:44,926 But most importantly, 1960 01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:46,728 this is a relationship 1961 01:16:46,761 --> 01:16:49,064 that stands for friendship. 1962 01:16:49,097 --> 01:16:52,834 Because before they were lovers, 1963 01:16:52,867 --> 01:16:55,303 they were friends, 1964 01:16:55,337 --> 01:16:57,439 and it is this seed of friendship 1965 01:16:57,472 --> 01:17:00,342 that love was their destiny. 1966 01:17:00,375 --> 01:17:02,210 One cannot dictate or determine 1967 01:17:02,243 --> 01:17:04,713 the course of love. 1968 01:17:04,746 --> 01:17:07,816 For if love finds you worthy, 1969 01:17:07,849 --> 01:17:12,320 then love directs you. 1970 01:17:12,354 --> 01:17:15,123 It is this sacred and holy estate 1971 01:17:15,156 --> 01:17:19,327 which you enter into as one. 1972 01:17:19,361 --> 01:17:20,729 And if there is anyone who has 1973 01:17:20,762 --> 01:17:23,832 just cause why these two should not 1974 01:17:23,865 --> 01:17:27,268 join as one, let him speak now 1975 01:17:27,302 --> 01:17:33,274 or forever hold his peace. 1976 01:17:46,421 --> 01:17:49,290 Do you take this man to love, 1977 01:17:49,324 --> 01:17:51,793 honor and comfort, 1978 01:17:51,826 --> 01:17:54,429 and keep in sickness and in health, 1979 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,198 in sadness and in joy, 1980 01:17:57,232 --> 01:17:59,501 and cherish and bestow upon him 1981 01:17:59,534 --> 01:18:01,970 your deepest devotion, 1982 01:18:02,003 --> 01:18:05,040 for as long as you both shall live? 1983 01:18:05,073 --> 01:18:09,878 I do. 1984 01:18:09,911 --> 01:18:14,482 Then, by the power vested in me, 1985 01:18:14,516 --> 01:18:17,018 I now pronounce you 1986 01:18:17,052 --> 01:18:20,989 husband and husband. 1987 01:18:21,022 --> 01:18:27,028 You may now kiss your groom. 1988 01:18:37,372 --> 01:18:43,378 ♪ 1989 01:19:13,007 --> 01:19:18,980 Come on! Are you kidding me? 1990 01:19:22,517 --> 01:19:26,121 Oh... I can't. 1991 01:19:26,154 --> 01:19:32,160 Come on, Come on, Come on! 1992 01:20:12,934 --> 01:20:14,936 Myles, are you in there? 1993 01:20:14,969 --> 01:20:17,205 Myles, are you in there? 1994 01:20:17,238 --> 01:20:18,640 Myles! 1995 01:20:18,673 --> 01:20:19,340 Myles! 1996 01:20:19,374 --> 01:20:20,375 What are you god-damned kids 1997 01:20:20,408 --> 01:20:21,376 up to now? 1998 01:20:21,409 --> 01:20:22,977 I'm sorry to disturb you, sir. 1999 01:20:23,011 --> 01:20:23,645 I'm sorry officer, 2000 01:20:23,678 --> 01:20:25,079 I didn't realize it was you. 2001 01:20:25,113 --> 01:20:27,115 Still haven't caught him yet? 2002 01:20:27,148 --> 01:20:28,349 Have you seen him today? 2003 01:20:28,383 --> 01:20:29,417 Saw him this morning. 2004 01:20:29,450 --> 01:20:31,119 He woke me up making a ruckus. 2005 01:20:31,152 --> 01:20:32,153 I went back to sleep. 2006 01:20:32,187 --> 01:20:33,655 Which I never do by the way. 2007 01:20:33,688 --> 01:20:36,457 Damn Sciatica kept me up all night. 2008 01:20:36,491 --> 01:20:39,160 I got one of these dial mattresses. 2009 01:20:39,194 --> 01:20:40,662 I changed it from a four to a six, 2010 01:20:40,695 --> 01:20:42,597 I thought that might help. 2011 01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,899 I slept better on my old Sealy. 2012 01:20:44,933 --> 01:20:45,433 You think they'd let me 2013 01:20:45,466 --> 01:20:46,534 take this one back? 2014 01:20:46,568 --> 01:20:47,569 It's only been six weeks. 2015 01:20:47,602 --> 01:20:50,305 I really have to get to Myles, 2016 01:20:50,338 --> 01:20:52,106 so if you know where he is. 2017 01:20:52,140 --> 01:20:53,341 Gone now. 2018 01:20:53,374 --> 01:20:55,543 I guess you missed him. 2019 01:20:55,577 --> 01:20:57,612 Yeah. I guess I did. 2020 01:20:57,645 --> 01:20:58,313 You're gonna go after him, 2021 01:20:58,346 --> 01:21:00,415 aren't you? 2022 01:21:00,448 --> 01:21:03,218 He's not a criminal. 2023 01:21:03,251 --> 01:21:04,919 I know that. 2024 01:21:04,953 --> 01:21:07,055 I'm not blind and stupid. 2025 01:21:07,088 --> 01:21:09,290 You obviously love him. 2026 01:21:09,324 --> 01:21:12,260 I do. 2027 01:21:12,293 --> 01:21:15,396 Then go after him! 2028 01:21:15,430 --> 01:21:17,432 Don't make the same mistake I did 2029 01:21:17,465 --> 01:21:18,499 and end up like me. 2030 01:21:18,533 --> 01:21:21,035 Trust me. 2031 01:21:21,069 --> 01:21:22,270 Don't just stand there, 2032 01:21:22,303 --> 01:21:23,538 go get him! 2033 01:21:23,571 --> 01:21:25,573 He's going to New York. 2034 01:21:25,607 --> 01:21:26,407 I don't know where he is. 2035 01:21:26,441 --> 01:21:28,176 I'm not going to catch up to him. 2036 01:21:28,209 --> 01:21:29,944 You've got a cop car don't you? 2037 01:21:29,978 --> 01:21:31,312 Light up that son-of-a bitch. 2038 01:21:31,346 --> 01:21:31,946 I've seen them go 2039 01:21:31,980 --> 01:21:33,047 two-hundred miles an hour. 2040 01:21:33,081 --> 01:21:35,183 Tear ass down that freeway! 2041 01:21:35,216 --> 01:21:38,686 Don't let him get away. 2042 01:21:38,720 --> 01:21:44,092 Ok. Ok. 2043 01:21:44,125 --> 01:21:50,098 Crazy kids. 2044 01:21:55,003 --> 01:21:57,605 (POLICE SIREN) 2045 01:21:57,639 --> 01:21:58,306 I'm sorry for getting you 2046 01:21:58,339 --> 01:21:59,674 out of bed so early for this. 2047 01:21:59,707 --> 01:22:02,443 Who needs sleep on a Saturday morning? 2048 01:22:02,477 --> 01:22:04,712 Besides, this is fun. 2049 01:22:04,746 --> 01:22:05,580 It's just like those movies Diane 2050 01:22:05,613 --> 01:22:06,648 makes me watch. 2051 01:22:06,681 --> 01:22:07,715 I have to catch up to Myles 2052 01:22:07,749 --> 01:22:08,683 before it's too late. 2053 01:22:08,716 --> 01:22:09,384 Do me a favor, 2054 01:22:09,417 --> 01:22:10,451 call him and see where he is. 2055 01:22:10,485 --> 01:22:11,552 No way! 2056 01:22:11,586 --> 01:22:13,655 That is not how's its done. 2057 01:22:13,688 --> 01:22:15,456 Myles is a romantic. 2058 01:22:15,490 --> 01:22:16,557 We have to catch up with him. 2059 01:22:16,591 --> 01:22:17,525 It's the element of surprise that 2060 01:22:17,558 --> 01:22:18,359 will win him back. 2061 01:22:18,393 --> 01:22:19,394 Yeah, and what if we don't make it 2062 01:22:19,427 --> 01:22:20,361 there in time? 2063 01:22:20,395 --> 01:22:21,229 Trust me on this one. 2064 01:22:21,262 --> 01:22:22,530 I know how it's done. 2065 01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:28,703 You always get the guy in the end. 2066 01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:30,104 Calling doesn't seem like such a 2067 01:22:30,138 --> 01:22:32,740 bad idea now, does it? 2068 01:22:32,774 --> 01:22:38,546 It always works in the movies. 2069 01:22:38,579 --> 01:22:40,748 So what now? 2070 01:22:40,782 --> 01:22:42,650 I don't know. 2071 01:22:42,684 --> 01:22:47,255 It usually doesn't turn out this way. 2072 01:22:47,288 --> 01:22:53,061 I'm too late, aren't I? 2073 01:22:53,094 --> 01:22:55,029 Might as well head back. 2074 01:22:55,063 --> 01:22:59,033 I know you have plans with Diane. 2075 01:22:59,067 --> 01:22:59,634 Let me call her and let her know 2076 01:22:59,667 --> 01:23:00,635 I'll be a little late. 2077 01:23:00,668 --> 01:23:06,641 I'll be in the car. 2078 01:23:11,346 --> 01:23:16,184 (PHONE BUZZING) 2079 01:23:16,217 --> 01:23:16,884 This better not be an, 2080 01:23:16,918 --> 01:23:18,186 "I can't make it today" call. 2081 01:23:18,219 --> 01:23:20,121 No, no, I'll be there. 2082 01:23:20,154 --> 01:23:22,123 Small emergency. 2083 01:23:22,156 --> 01:23:23,057 I'll just be a little late. 2084 01:23:23,091 --> 01:23:23,725 Well hurry, so you can start 2085 01:23:23,758 --> 01:23:25,626 making it up to me. 2086 01:23:25,660 --> 01:23:27,628 And don't forget your uniform - 2087 01:23:27,662 --> 01:23:29,464 especially the night stick. 2088 01:23:29,497 --> 01:23:35,503 Bye. 2089 01:23:39,307 --> 01:23:41,509 Richard's going to be a little bit late. 2090 01:23:41,542 --> 01:23:43,778 Keep me company for just a bit more? 2091 01:23:43,811 --> 01:23:45,513 I've got three thousand miles ahead of me 2092 01:23:45,546 --> 01:23:46,314 and now all I'm going to be able 2093 01:23:46,347 --> 01:23:46,981 to think about is you and Richard 2094 01:23:47,014 --> 01:23:48,783 playing "cops and robbers". 2095 01:23:48,816 --> 01:23:51,552 You should see me trying to resist arrest. 2096 01:23:51,586 --> 01:23:53,221 I really need to go. 2097 01:23:53,254 --> 01:23:54,489 I just wanted to help you clean up 2098 01:23:54,522 --> 01:23:55,790 and say goodbye. 2099 01:23:55,823 --> 01:23:58,359 Let's have a mimosa for the road. 2100 01:23:58,393 --> 01:23:59,060 No one should drive into the 2101 01:23:59,093 --> 01:24:00,628 middle of this country without 2102 01:24:00,661 --> 01:24:02,196 at least one drink in them. 2103 01:24:02,230 --> 01:24:03,231 You're awful. 2104 01:24:03,264 --> 01:24:09,237 I know. 2105 01:24:16,477 --> 01:24:17,345 Are you sure you don't want to 2106 01:24:17,378 --> 01:24:19,280 join us for brunch? 2107 01:24:19,313 --> 01:24:20,314 You know a gay guy is tired when 2108 01:24:20,348 --> 01:24:22,450 he turns down brunch. 2109 01:24:22,483 --> 01:24:26,421 I had a bad night and a crappy morning. 2110 01:24:26,454 --> 01:24:27,789 Bottomless drinks. 2111 01:24:27,822 --> 01:24:28,356 I have a feeling you'll get your 2112 01:24:28,389 --> 01:24:30,391 money's worth today. 2113 01:24:30,425 --> 01:24:33,594 I really don't feel like being around people. 2114 01:24:33,628 --> 01:24:38,699 Especially those in love. 2115 01:24:38,733 --> 01:24:40,668 Where the hell have you two been? 2116 01:24:40,701 --> 01:24:42,670 And you brought the squad car. 2117 01:24:42,703 --> 01:24:46,674 Nice touch. 2118 01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:48,876 We drove to Nevada this morning. 2119 01:24:48,910 --> 01:24:50,244 We're trying to catch up with Myles. 2120 01:24:50,278 --> 01:24:51,712 Nevada? 2121 01:24:51,746 --> 01:24:53,314 Why are you trying to catch up with Myles? 2122 01:24:53,347 --> 01:24:54,615 Brody wants to talk to him. 2123 01:24:54,649 --> 01:24:55,917 He doesn't want him to leave. 2124 01:24:55,950 --> 01:24:57,452 Well, you just missed him. 2125 01:24:57,485 --> 01:24:59,620 Obviously. 2126 01:24:59,654 --> 01:25:00,822 You and your detective skills. 2127 01:25:00,855 --> 01:25:01,923 I mean he was just here, 2128 01:25:01,956 --> 01:25:03,591 he left a minute ago. 2129 01:25:03,624 --> 01:25:06,828 Hey, we can still catch him! 2130 01:25:06,861 --> 01:25:08,262 You can't call him. 2131 01:25:08,296 --> 01:25:09,263 That's not the way it works. 2132 01:25:09,297 --> 01:25:10,097 I know. 2133 01:25:10,131 --> 01:25:13,401 I've been trying to tell him that. 2134 01:25:13,434 --> 01:25:16,737 (PHONE BUZZING) 2135 01:25:16,771 --> 01:25:21,409 ♪ 2136 01:25:21,442 --> 01:25:25,379 I just can't. 2137 01:25:25,413 --> 01:25:31,385 Straight to voicemail. 2138 01:25:36,324 --> 01:25:40,828 ♪ 2139 01:25:40,862 --> 01:25:42,930 He's right there. 2140 01:25:49,537 --> 01:25:55,543 Go! Go! 2141 01:25:55,910 --> 01:25:57,478 Are you crazy?! 2142 01:25:57,512 --> 01:25:58,446 Move! 2143 01:25:58,479 --> 01:25:59,313 Are you kidding me?! 2144 01:25:59,347 --> 01:26:00,281 Stop! 2145 01:26:00,314 --> 01:26:02,817 Get out of my way. 2146 01:26:02,850 --> 01:26:03,818 I need to leave. 2147 01:26:03,851 --> 01:26:04,685 Myles. 2148 01:26:04,719 --> 01:26:07,455 No, let me go. 2149 01:26:07,488 --> 01:26:12,560 Move! 2150 01:26:12,593 --> 01:26:17,532 Why are you all doing this to me? 2151 01:26:17,565 --> 01:26:18,666 There's nothing you can do 2152 01:26:18,699 --> 01:26:24,705 to make me stay. 2153 01:26:29,610 --> 01:26:31,746 Was that supposed to change my mind? 2154 01:26:31,779 --> 01:26:32,847 That was the idea. 2155 01:26:32,880 --> 01:26:35,383 It didn't. 2156 01:26:35,416 --> 01:26:40,621 I can't do this with you anymore. 2157 01:26:40,655 --> 01:26:42,423 I've got to do what's right for me now, 2158 01:26:42,456 --> 01:26:45,893 and that's getting away from you. 2159 01:26:45,927 --> 01:26:47,562 You may not need someone, 2160 01:26:47,595 --> 01:26:49,597 but you deserve someone. 2161 01:26:49,630 --> 01:26:51,532 And I want to be that person. 2162 01:26:51,566 --> 01:26:53,434 You're not capable of having a relationship. 2163 01:26:53,467 --> 01:26:54,335 What have we been doing 2164 01:26:54,368 --> 01:26:55,937 the last ten years? 2165 01:26:55,970 --> 01:26:57,905 I may not be the Prince Charming 2166 01:26:57,939 --> 01:27:00,041 that you imagine, but 2167 01:27:00,074 --> 01:27:03,644 you know I would slay a dragon for you. 2168 01:27:03,678 --> 01:27:05,913 It's not enough, Brody. 2169 01:27:05,947 --> 01:27:09,383 What else is there? 2170 01:27:09,417 --> 01:27:11,319 Trust, love, 2171 01:27:11,352 --> 01:27:14,055 companionship, respect. 2172 01:27:14,088 --> 01:27:20,294 We don't have all those things 2173 01:27:23,064 --> 01:27:23,965 Well then, I'll guess I'll have to 2174 01:27:23,998 --> 01:27:25,566 make this easy for you. 2175 01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:26,834 Cause you don't have a choice. 2176 01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:29,971 I'm sorry, what? 2177 01:27:30,004 --> 01:27:31,472 I'm glad you're here because I need a lawyer. 2178 01:27:31,505 --> 01:27:32,206 Would you please tell me 2179 01:27:32,240 --> 01:27:34,408 if this is still legally binding? 2180 01:27:34,442 --> 01:27:38,613 I charge seven-hundred dollars an hour. 2181 01:27:38,646 --> 01:27:40,548 Fine, I'll do it pro-bono. 2182 01:27:40,581 --> 01:27:45,319 Let me see it. 2183 01:27:45,353 --> 01:27:46,954 I'm sorry, it's not legally binding. 2184 01:27:46,988 --> 01:27:47,955 It states that this becomes 2185 01:27:47,989 --> 01:27:50,524 effective on Myles' birthday. 2186 01:27:50,558 --> 01:27:54,629 Unfortunately, that's not until tomorrow. 2187 01:27:54,662 --> 01:27:57,331 I guess we'll just have to wait twelve hours. 2188 01:27:57,365 --> 01:27:58,633 We can put him under house arrest 2189 01:27:58,666 --> 01:28:00,568 until the contract is due. 2190 01:28:00,601 --> 01:28:02,770 I can leave this perp in your custody. 2191 01:28:02,803 --> 01:28:06,440 The law is the law. 2192 01:28:06,474 --> 01:28:08,409 I'm so glad that everybody's made 2193 01:28:08,442 --> 01:28:14,448 the decision about what I should do. 2194 01:28:15,983 --> 01:28:18,052 Does anybody want to know what I think? 2195 01:28:18,085 --> 01:28:22,390 Yes, of course. 2196 01:28:22,423 --> 01:28:25,459 I think after waiting ten years, 2197 01:28:25,493 --> 01:28:29,630 I deserve a proper kiss. 2198 01:28:29,664 --> 01:28:35,670 ♪ 2199 01:28:49,884 --> 01:28:55,823 (FACETIME RINGING) 2200 01:28:56,023 --> 01:28:57,858 You're calling me why? 2201 01:28:57,892 --> 01:28:58,559 Well, I always call you 2202 01:28:58,592 --> 01:29:01,095 after I hook up with a hot guy. 2203 01:29:01,128 --> 01:29:02,830 How was it? 2204 01:29:02,863 --> 01:29:04,465 Let me put it like this: 2205 01:29:04,498 --> 01:29:06,000 I'm gonna have to call you back. 2206 01:29:06,033 --> 01:29:08,135 Cause I'm about to do it again. 2207 01:29:08,169 --> 01:29:10,538 It was that good? 2208 01:29:10,571 --> 01:29:11,906 Oh yeah. 2209 01:29:11,939 --> 01:29:13,941 And by the way, 2210 01:29:13,974 --> 01:29:15,843 Happy Birthday Myles. 2211 01:29:15,876 --> 01:29:18,446 It certainly is. 2212 01:29:18,479 --> 01:29:24,452 ♪ 2213 01:29:45,072 --> 01:29:51,078 ♪ 139285

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