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♪
2
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I wanted to go
3
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someplace special tonight.
4
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,423
Romantic.
5
00:01:37,457 --> 00:01:38,791
If you've met someone wonderful,
6
00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:41,194
then you should spoil them.
7
00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:42,228
It's important to find that
8
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special person
9
00:01:42,929 --> 00:01:45,898
you can be yourself around.
10
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Someone you could spend the rest
11
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of your life with.
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This calls for a toast.
13
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Here's to relationships.
14
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To first dates
15
00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:04,817
Would you excuse me
16
00:02:04,851 --> 00:02:05,718
for a minute?
17
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:11,724
Of course.
18
00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:25,838
I'm close
19
00:02:25,872 --> 00:02:27,940
(PHONE RINGING)
20
00:02:27,974 --> 00:02:29,308
Hang on.
21
00:02:29,342 --> 00:02:33,746
(GRUNTING)
22
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,581
What's up, Myles?
23
00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:38,751
He's so cute and smart.
24
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,319
I really like him.
25
00:02:40,353 --> 00:02:41,754
I think he may be the one.
26
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What kind of puppy
27
00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:43,589
did you pick out?
28
00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:44,824
Puppy?
29
00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:45,791
The one you're imagining in
your
30
00:02:45,825 --> 00:02:47,593
dream house.
31
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:48,261
I have no idea what you're
32
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:50,530
talking about.
33
00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:52,565
Boston Terrier
34
00:02:52,598 --> 00:02:53,499
Where are you?
35
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No, don't tell me.
36
00:02:55,268 --> 00:02:56,602
Let me guess.
37
00:02:56,636 --> 00:02:58,538
You're only gonna need one
guess.
38
00:02:58,571 --> 00:03:00,306
God I wish you could see this.
39
00:03:00,339 --> 00:03:01,407
This guy's ass is so tight you
40
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:02,875
could bounce a quarter off of
it.
41
00:03:02,909 --> 00:03:04,477
Or something bigger.
42
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:05,711
Nice visual while I enjoy my
43
00:03:05,745 --> 00:03:07,380
romantic dinner.
44
00:03:07,413 --> 00:03:08,915
Well, my date and I are
45
00:03:08,948 --> 00:03:11,417
sharing a connection,
46
00:03:11,450 --> 00:03:13,452
deep meaningful conversation.
47
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:14,120
I took him
48
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:17,023
to this amazing restaurant.
49
00:03:17,056 --> 00:03:22,495
Just gave him the red rose.
50
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He's leaving, isn't he?
51
00:03:24,397 --> 00:03:24,864
He just slipped
52
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out the door.
53
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Oh Myles.
54
00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:28,834
Time to initiate
55
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:31,537
our suicide pact.
56
00:03:31,571 --> 00:03:33,272
I fear the time is upon us.
57
00:03:33,306 --> 00:03:35,007
Death by chocolate?
58
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,642
I'm afraid so.
59
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:39,545
Text me where you are.
60
00:03:39,579 --> 00:03:42,014
You owe me an orgasm.
61
00:03:42,048 --> 00:03:42,949
I'll make it a double
62
00:03:42,982 --> 00:03:44,350
next time.
63
00:03:44,383 --> 00:03:44,917
Is there gonna be
64
00:03:44,951 --> 00:03:48,654
a next time?
65
00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:51,357
Probably not.
66
00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:52,658
Do you wanna shower at least
67
00:03:52,692 --> 00:03:54,327
before you go?
68
00:03:54,360 --> 00:04:00,333
I didn't break a sweat.
69
00:04:01,801 --> 00:04:07,807
(PIANO BAR MUSIC)
70
00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:11,677
Geez.
71
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,713
Nice place.
72
00:04:13,746 --> 00:04:15,448
It was before my date left me.
73
00:04:15,481 --> 00:04:16,048
Here,
74
00:04:16,082 --> 00:04:18,084
this will cheer you up.
75
00:04:18,117 --> 00:04:19,418
What's this?
76
00:04:19,452 --> 00:04:21,654
It's your birthday present.
77
00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:22,288
My birthday
78
00:04:22,321 --> 00:04:23,522
isn't for two months yet.
79
00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:24,590
I know, i figured you could use
80
00:04:24,624 --> 00:04:27,393
a little "happy" now.
81
00:04:27,426 --> 00:04:30,329
Hello.
82
00:04:30,363 --> 00:04:31,831
You got my favorite!
83
00:04:31,864 --> 00:04:34,800
Of course.
84
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:35,601
Don't get too excited,
85
00:04:35,635 --> 00:04:39,071
it's not much.
86
00:04:39,105 --> 00:04:43,676
Don't get all emotional on me.
87
00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:45,745
You do have a sentimental side.
88
00:04:45,778 --> 00:04:46,746
That's the day we met.
89
00:04:46,779 --> 00:04:47,680
I made two of them.
90
00:04:47,713 --> 00:04:51,717
One for you and one for me.
91
00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:52,985
I just wanted to do something
92
00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:54,053
that you would like.
93
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,087
Don't make me regret being nice,
94
00:04:55,121 --> 00:04:56,355
alright.
95
00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:58,758
Enough of this sappy crap.
96
00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:00,059
Here is to Men.
97
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:02,028
Fuck them.
98
00:05:02,061 --> 00:05:03,963
To finding the perfect man.
99
00:05:03,996 --> 00:05:05,898
To friends.
100
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,400
To relationships.
101
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:13,406
Being single.
102
00:05:14,874 --> 00:05:15,408
Do me a favor.
103
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:16,609
Don't let me die alone.
104
00:05:16,642 --> 00:05:17,309
You're not gonna be alone.
105
00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:18,110
I'm gonna be there holding a
106
00:05:18,144 --> 00:05:21,447
pillow over your face.
107
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,548
This is to the hangovers we're
108
00:05:22,581 --> 00:05:23,649
gonna have tomorrow.
109
00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:24,917
So we agree?
110
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,652
To being hungover?
111
00:05:26,686 --> 00:05:27,753
No.
112
00:05:27,787 --> 00:05:29,455
That we won't grow old alone.
113
00:05:29,488 --> 00:05:31,857
I'm never gonna be alone.
114
00:05:31,891 --> 00:05:33,659
In fact, I'm already drafting a
115
00:05:33,693 --> 00:05:34,627
list in my head of all the
things
116
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,562
I'm gonna do to our waiter.
117
00:05:36,595 --> 00:05:37,563
Most of them are still illegal
in
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00:05:37,596 --> 00:05:39,465
forty-two states.
119
00:05:39,498 --> 00:05:41,901
Hey.
120
00:05:41,934 --> 00:05:43,569
Hey, I'm serious.
121
00:05:43,602 --> 00:05:44,603
Come on, you know that I'm
always
122
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:46,472
gonna be here for you.
123
00:05:46,505 --> 00:05:47,173
Alright, I can tell you're
124
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:50,576
obsessing over this already.
125
00:05:50,609 --> 00:05:52,078
I'll make you a deal.
126
00:05:52,111 --> 00:05:53,412
If in ten years we're both still
127
00:05:53,446 --> 00:05:54,180
single and neither of us have
128
00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:56,982
found anybody,
129
00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:57,783
we'll be boyfriends.
130
00:05:57,817 --> 00:05:58,584
A couple.
131
00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:02,188
Together, forever.
132
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:05,057
A backup plan
133
00:06:05,091 --> 00:06:05,825
You're serious?
134
00:06:05,858 --> 00:06:06,892
Sure.
135
00:06:06,926 --> 00:06:08,661
Here, you're the one who's going
136
00:06:08,694 --> 00:06:10,996
to school to be a fancy
attorney.
137
00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:11,864
Write something up,
138
00:06:11,897 --> 00:06:12,498
I will sign it.
139
00:06:12,531 --> 00:06:15,668
Make it legally binding.
140
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:17,903
So I have ten years then?
141
00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:19,705
To find love before you're,
142
00:06:19,739 --> 00:06:22,908
thirty-five.
143
00:06:22,942 --> 00:06:24,176
Here's to being in love.
144
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:30,182
Here is to ten years of
freedom.
145
00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:53,873
You happy now?
146
00:06:53,906 --> 00:06:59,879
Unbelievable.
147
00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:10,856
♪
148
00:07:19,999 --> 00:07:22,168
Here they are.
149
00:07:22,201 --> 00:07:23,736
Made you those appetizers you
like
150
00:07:23,769 --> 00:07:26,505
with the imported goat cheese.
151
00:07:26,539 --> 00:07:28,941
Please sit down.
152
00:07:28,974 --> 00:07:29,975
I will.
153
00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:31,944
But, trust me, you don't want
154
00:07:31,977 --> 00:07:34,613
dinner to burn.
155
00:07:34,647 --> 00:07:35,681
It does smell great.
156
00:07:35,714 --> 00:07:36,849
What is it?
157
00:07:36,882 --> 00:07:37,950
It's Eggplant Sorrento.
158
00:07:37,983 --> 00:07:39,118
Are you kidding me?
159
00:07:39,151 --> 00:07:40,085
That's my favorite.
160
00:07:40,119 --> 00:07:40,653
I know.
161
00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:42,254
I called your mother.
162
00:07:42,288 --> 00:07:43,055
You're making my mom's
163
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,824
Eggplant Sorrento?
164
00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:46,091
Well you've been working a lot
recently,
165
00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:46,959
so I thought it would be nice
166
00:07:46,992 --> 00:07:49,228
to do something extra special
for you.
167
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,765
I can't believe you called my
mother.
168
00:07:52,798 --> 00:07:56,101
That's a tad scary.
169
00:07:56,135 --> 00:07:56,902
Sit.
170
00:07:56,936 --> 00:07:58,571
Relax.
171
00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,272
That's an eighty-six cabernet.
172
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:06,245
I'll be back in a few.
173
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:14,820
What's up?
174
00:08:14,854 --> 00:08:16,689
Want to watch a movie tonight?
175
00:08:16,722 --> 00:08:17,556
Can't, man.
176
00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:19,124
Got plans already.
177
00:08:19,158 --> 00:08:20,059
They start with a cold beer and
178
00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:21,760
end with a sticky towel.
179
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,596
All the best nights do.
180
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:24,730
Looks like it's just you and me
181
00:08:24,763 --> 00:08:26,332
again tonight buddy.
182
00:08:26,365 --> 00:08:26,866
Hey, you're the one that
insists
183
00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:28,934
on being straight.
184
00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:29,802
Why don't you just come out
185
00:08:29,835 --> 00:08:30,970
with me tonight.
186
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:31,637
You give me ten minutes
187
00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:32,938
I will get you an ass so hot
188
00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:33,606
you can eat breakfast,
189
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,808
lunch and dinner off of it.
190
00:08:35,841 --> 00:08:37,309
I prefer my partners not to
have
191
00:08:37,343 --> 00:08:39,078
the same equipment as me.
192
00:08:39,111 --> 00:08:39,778
Not me.
193
00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:43,215
I prefer the same, or bigger.
194
00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:44,049
Hey, your loss.
195
00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:48,120
(PHONE BEEPS)
196
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,355
Hello David.
197
00:08:49,388 --> 00:08:51,290
Say hello to David.
198
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,858
Is it really that easy for you?
199
00:08:52,892 --> 00:08:54,326
That's the beauty of being a
man.
200
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,161
Look, there's no wining and
dining.
201
00:08:56,195 --> 00:08:57,630
Five minutes we'll have had a
beer,
202
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,831
fifteen minutes we'll be in the
sack,
203
00:08:58,864 --> 00:09:00,132
sixteen minutes I'll be home
204
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,667
watching pay-per-view.
205
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,668
It's amazing,
206
00:09:02,701 --> 00:09:03,903
you should try it.
207
00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:06,238
Well, if you put it that way.
208
00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:08,207
Seriously?
209
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:13,212
Hell no.
210
00:09:13,245 --> 00:09:19,218
♪
211
00:09:20,419 --> 00:09:22,054
Someone was hungry.
212
00:09:22,087 --> 00:09:23,722
And thirsty.
213
00:09:23,756 --> 00:09:25,658
Here, taste.
214
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,926
Are you ever gonna sit down?
215
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:32,932
I'd really like to talk.
216
00:09:33,732 --> 00:09:35,334
Wow.
217
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,936
That is good.
218
00:09:36,969 --> 00:09:38,804
It's exactly how my mom makes
it.
219
00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:40,739
Good, now I want to hear all
about your day.
220
00:09:40,773 --> 00:09:41,307
Come to the table.
221
00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:43,776
We'll talk over dinner.
222
00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:45,311
I don't even know what to say.
223
00:09:45,344 --> 00:09:47,980
How about, let's eat!
224
00:09:48,013 --> 00:09:53,719
Fine.
225
00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:59,792
(DOORBELL RINGS)
226
00:09:59,825 --> 00:10:03,896
Hi, I'm David.
227
00:10:03,929 --> 00:10:06,031
Hi, I'm Brody.
228
00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:07,366
Nice to meet you.
229
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,334
What is it with you guys
230
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:09,335
introducing yourselves like you
231
00:10:09,368 --> 00:10:11,403
don't already know who I am.
232
00:10:11,437 --> 00:10:13,672
I mean, you have sent me so many
233
00:10:13,706 --> 00:10:15,074
pictures of yourself that I
234
00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:16,208
probably know you better than
your
235
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,844
own doctor does.
236
00:10:18,877 --> 00:10:20,012
I don't know.
237
00:10:20,045 --> 00:10:20,713
Do you have a better way of
238
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,715
greeting someone at the door?
239
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:24,416
How about, "Hey Brody,
240
00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:28,220
come on in, you want a beer?"
241
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,788
Hi Brody, come on in.
242
00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:30,422
Do you want a beer?
243
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:32,691
No, I'm good.
244
00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:35,094
You look terrified.
245
00:10:35,127 --> 00:10:36,829
First time on Grindr?
246
00:10:36,862 --> 00:10:38,864
No.
247
00:10:38,897 --> 00:10:40,466
Maybe.
248
00:10:40,499 --> 00:10:41,367
Yeah.
249
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,836
Ok, well, relax, we're gonna
have fun.
250
00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:44,737
How about you,
251
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:45,838
do you want a beer?
252
00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:47,439
Actually I'd love one.
253
00:10:47,473 --> 00:10:51,343
Ok.
254
00:10:51,377 --> 00:10:55,347
(BELCH)
255
00:10:55,381 --> 00:10:59,451
Well, that's a nice compliment.
256
00:10:59,485 --> 00:11:00,386
That was amazing.
257
00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:02,087
I'm glad.
258
00:11:02,121 --> 00:11:03,722
How did the client meeting go
today?
259
00:11:03,756 --> 00:11:04,590
I hope you got all the,
260
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,958
"I'm thinking of you" texts I
sent.
261
00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:06,492
Yep.
262
00:11:06,525 --> 00:11:10,896
All ten.
263
00:11:10,929 --> 00:11:14,266
You seem a little, tired
tonight.
264
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:14,933
Why don't you just
265
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:18,337
take your shoes off, relax.
266
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:21,373
I'm just, I'm trying to figure
267
00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:23,008
out the best way to talk to you
268
00:11:23,042 --> 00:11:25,144
about something.
269
00:11:25,177 --> 00:11:25,778
As long as it's not,
270
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:29,081
"let's see other people".
271
00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:30,416
Uh.
272
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,151
You want to see other people.
273
00:11:32,184 --> 00:11:32,718
I'm just thinking that
274
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:35,854
we're moving too fast.
275
00:11:35,888 --> 00:11:37,423
We've been dating for a month.
276
00:11:37,456 --> 00:11:38,123
I see you
277
00:11:38,157 --> 00:11:38,824
once a week for dinner and sex,
278
00:11:38,857 --> 00:11:40,259
and I do all the work for both.
279
00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:40,692
How is that possibly
280
00:11:40,726 --> 00:11:42,094
moving too fast?
281
00:11:42,127 --> 00:11:42,661
I just want to
282
00:11:42,694 --> 00:11:43,529
pump the brakes a bit.
283
00:11:43,562 --> 00:11:44,363
Well, do you think you could
have
284
00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:46,065
pumped them down on a day I
didn't
285
00:11:46,098 --> 00:11:47,332
spend cooking an elaborate
dinner
286
00:11:47,366 --> 00:11:51,070
and planning erotic massages?
287
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:56,041
Wow.
288
00:11:56,075 --> 00:11:58,944
Myles, one day,
289
00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:00,412
you are going to make someone
290
00:12:00,446 --> 00:12:03,315
the most amazing husband.
291
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:06,385
Just not you.
292
00:12:06,418 --> 00:12:12,424
No.
293
00:12:12,991 --> 00:12:14,293
I'm gonna leave.
294
00:12:14,326 --> 00:12:20,299
Yeah.
295
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:32,411
(GRUNTING)
296
00:12:32,444 --> 00:12:34,079
Oh Yeah.
297
00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:36,515
Can I get you that beer now?
298
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,183
You're a quick study.
299
00:12:38,217 --> 00:12:39,218
I like you.
300
00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:40,919
Enough to see me again?
301
00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:41,420
Enough to introduce you
302
00:12:41,453 --> 00:12:43,255
to my friend.
303
00:12:43,288 --> 00:12:44,923
Threesome?
304
00:12:44,957 --> 00:12:46,125
I don't think I'm ready for
that,
305
00:12:46,158 --> 00:12:47,126
yet.
306
00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:52,865
Sure you are.
307
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,033
Myles, say hello to David.
308
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:55,868
Say Hi David.
309
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:56,869
Hi.
310
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,504
Hello David.
311
00:12:58,537 --> 00:12:59,505
It's always a pleasure meeting
one
312
00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:01,273
of Brody's "hookups", especially
313
00:13:01,306 --> 00:13:05,010
after I've just been dumped.
314
00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:06,145
What happened?
315
00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:08,113
Like you have to ask?
316
00:13:08,147 --> 00:13:10,415
You want me to come over?
317
00:13:10,449 --> 00:13:11,884
That depends.
318
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:12,584
Do you like
319
00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:13,552
strawberries infused with cognac
320
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,888
hand dipped in dark chocolate?
321
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,289
Strawberries and cognac?
322
00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:18,490
Can I come?
323
00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:19,858
You already did.
324
00:13:19,892 --> 00:13:21,393
Twice.
325
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:27,432
I'll be right there.
326
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,505
Since when did you start
fucking
327
00:13:33,539 --> 00:13:35,340
Martha Stuart?
328
00:13:35,374 --> 00:13:36,208
One does what one has to,
329
00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:37,876
to get a man.
330
00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,244
I've had a lot of men,
331
00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:40,612
I have never injected a
strawberry
332
00:13:40,646 --> 00:13:43,015
with cognac before.
333
00:13:43,048 --> 00:13:47,119
Well, not in the literal sense.
334
00:13:47,152 --> 00:13:50,222
It doesn't matter anyway.
335
00:13:50,255 --> 00:13:50,789
I'm done.
336
00:13:50,822 --> 00:13:52,324
I'm in my mid-thirties.
337
00:13:52,357 --> 00:13:53,358
Time to acknowledge the fact
that
338
00:13:53,392 --> 00:13:56,295
I'm destined to be a gay
spinster.
339
00:13:56,328 --> 00:13:56,995
If the thought of dog hair
340
00:13:57,029 --> 00:13:58,463
everywhere didn't disgust me,
341
00:13:58,497 --> 00:13:59,898
I'd be a gay cliche.
342
00:13:59,932 --> 00:14:00,933
Trust me.
343
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,034
You don't need a small dog
344
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,502
to be a gay cliche.
345
00:14:03,535 --> 00:14:05,003
Thanks.
346
00:14:05,037 --> 00:14:08,006
Either way, I'm tired and done.
347
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:08,707
I'm sick of chasing men only to
348
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,475
have my heart broken every time.
349
00:14:10,509 --> 00:14:11,977
Ok, enough.
350
00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:12,678
I'm taking you shopping.
351
00:14:12,711 --> 00:14:13,912
If you're going to be single,
352
00:14:13,946 --> 00:14:15,414
you need the proper tools.
353
00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:17,082
I'm afraid of you right now.
354
00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:18,650
You're smarter than you look.
355
00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:21,987
Come on.
356
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,922
♪
357
00:14:23,956 --> 00:14:25,023
If I know you, a kinky evening
358
00:14:25,057 --> 00:14:27,993
of sex means using your left
hand
359
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,361
and your toy arsenal is nothing
more
360
00:14:29,394 --> 00:14:31,964
than a two year old jar of lube.
361
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:33,265
Being single requires the proper
362
00:14:33,298 --> 00:14:34,533
equipment and there's no better
363
00:14:34,566 --> 00:14:38,303
place to get it than here!
364
00:14:38,337 --> 00:14:39,304
Fleshjack.
365
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:40,472
Better than a real mouth.
366
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,507
Why?
367
00:14:42,541 --> 00:14:46,144
Because it doesn't speak.
368
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,946
Dildo - No more gambling
369
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:48,447
with what's on the other side
370
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,448
of the zipper.
371
00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:50,616
Nothing is worse than unwrapping
372
00:14:50,649 --> 00:14:51,550
the whopper only to find they
373
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,585
skimped on the pickle.
374
00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:54,686
Now you can come home to
375
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,290
Jeff Stryker every night.
376
00:14:58,323 --> 00:15:00,092
Mini projector.
377
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,360
Now, you can watch your favorite
378
00:15:01,393 --> 00:15:05,163
pornos in HD above your head!
379
00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:06,565
I can see you've done extensive
380
00:15:06,598 --> 00:15:08,000
research on the subject.
381
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:08,800
Hey.
382
00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:09,468
I may not be good at many
things,
383
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,169
but the things I'm good at,
384
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,571
I'm an expert in.
385
00:15:12,604 --> 00:15:16,108
Minty Fresh.
386
00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:21,213
Here.
387
00:15:21,246 --> 00:15:22,748
Richard.
388
00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:23,448
Thank you very much,
389
00:15:23,482 --> 00:15:29,454
enjoy sir.
390
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:30,222
I can't believe
391
00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:31,490
you make me eat here.
392
00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:32,324
Are you kidding?
393
00:15:32,357 --> 00:15:32,891
Everyone knows the best food in
LA
394
00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:34,593
comes from food trucks.
395
00:15:34,626 --> 00:15:37,029
Yeah, so does E. Coli.
396
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:41,733
Hey, I got you something.
397
00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,336
Its a sex toy.
398
00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:46,038
If this goes where I think it
goes,
399
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:46,605
you and I are gonna have
400
00:15:46,638 --> 00:15:48,373
a big problem, buddy.
401
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,274
It doesn't.
402
00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:49,908
Trust me,
403
00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:50,776
you're going to like this.
404
00:15:50,809 --> 00:15:54,112
I went shopping with Myles last
night.
405
00:15:54,146 --> 00:15:54,780
I was trying to cheer him up,
406
00:15:54,813 --> 00:15:55,414
he just broke up
407
00:15:55,447 --> 00:15:56,448
with his newest boyfriend.
408
00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:57,582
Another one?
409
00:15:57,616 --> 00:15:59,451
I feel so bad for that guy.
410
00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:01,119
Yeah, me too.
411
00:16:01,153 --> 00:16:02,454
Myles is a bit much.
412
00:16:02,487 --> 00:16:05,757
No, I meant Myles.
413
00:16:05,791 --> 00:16:08,126
You feel bad for Myles.
414
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:08,794
Don't.
415
00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:09,628
If you want to pity someone,
416
00:16:09,661 --> 00:16:10,796
try me.
417
00:16:10,829 --> 00:16:12,064
Myles and I made a deal ten
years
418
00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:13,465
ago that if we were still single
419
00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,100
by the time we're thirty-five,
420
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,468
we'd be a couple.
421
00:16:16,501 --> 00:16:17,336
That's ridiculous.
422
00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:19,037
Myles is a successful, smart
lawyer.
423
00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:20,539
He can do so much better than
you.
424
00:16:20,572 --> 00:16:21,707
I know, right.
425
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:22,641
Wait, what?
426
00:16:22,674 --> 00:16:23,308
I don't even know why you're
complaining.
427
00:16:23,342 --> 00:16:25,077
I think it's a great idea.
428
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,078
You'd be lucky to have a guy
like Myles.
429
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,079
No.
430
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:27,713
That is the last thing
431
00:16:27,746 --> 00:16:28,747
in the world I need.
432
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:29,314
You're crazy,
433
00:16:29,348 --> 00:16:31,249
but we both know that.
434
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:31,817
Seems like if you don't want to
435
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:33,285
be Myles next boyfriend,
436
00:16:33,318 --> 00:16:33,985
you're going to have to
437
00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:36,254
do something about it - quick.
438
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,790
Myles turns thirty-five in one
month,
439
00:16:38,824 --> 00:16:40,192
we have thirty days to find
440
00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:41,226
Myles a boyfriend.
441
00:16:41,259 --> 00:16:47,265
No, not "we," you!
442
00:16:52,504 --> 00:16:54,139
(KNOCK)
443
00:16:54,172 --> 00:16:55,640
It's open.
444
00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:57,442
Hey!
445
00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,411
You ready for boys night out?
446
00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:02,180
Yeah, can I get you a drink?
447
00:17:02,214 --> 00:17:03,382
I trained you well.
448
00:17:03,415 --> 00:17:06,418
Nope, I got it.
449
00:17:06,451 --> 00:17:07,853
Hey, can we stop by my place,
450
00:17:07,886 --> 00:17:08,587
I didn't have time to go back
451
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,322
to the station.
452
00:17:10,355 --> 00:17:16,361
Sure, whatever you need to do.
453
00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:17,029
Ah.
454
00:17:17,062 --> 00:17:19,197
I waited all day for that.
455
00:17:19,231 --> 00:17:20,432
What are you looking at?
456
00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,201
I rarely see you in uniform.
457
00:17:23,235 --> 00:17:24,536
You like a man in uniform?
458
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:26,471
Who doesn't?
459
00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:27,806
What do you think?
460
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,474
I think you look less like a
real cop
461
00:17:29,508 --> 00:17:33,278
and more like a male stripper.
462
00:17:33,311 --> 00:17:34,346
No wonder you're so easily able
463
00:17:34,379 --> 00:17:36,314
to catch the bad guys.
464
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:37,816
Oh really?
465
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,618
Male stripper.
466
00:17:39,651 --> 00:17:45,590
(MUSIC PLAYS ON PHONE)
467
00:17:46,658 --> 00:17:49,694
Have you been a bad boy, Myles?
468
00:17:49,728 --> 00:17:51,696
I may have broken a few laws
469
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:52,831
Someone needs to do a little
470
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:58,837
"hard time."
471
00:18:17,522 --> 00:18:18,457
We should get going.
472
00:18:18,490 --> 00:18:20,659
Yeah, we should go.
473
00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:21,493
I'll get my keys.
474
00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:23,462
I'll get my...I'll be in the
car.
475
00:18:23,495 --> 00:18:29,501
(MUSIC STOPS)
476
00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:38,543
♪
477
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,611
A gogo bar?
478
00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:40,712
Hey, every once in a while a
guy
479
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,447
has to get his gay on.
480
00:18:42,481 --> 00:18:43,415
If you're worried about not
being
481
00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,449
gay enough, I'd say you're good
482
00:18:44,483 --> 00:18:48,653
for the next...year, maybe ten.
483
00:18:48,687 --> 00:18:50,222
Two martini's so dirty the
health
484
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:51,423
department will shut you down
for
485
00:18:51,456 --> 00:18:53,558
serving them.
486
00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:55,227
What is is with you and gogo
bars?
487
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,762
Hey, now I have four of my
favorite things.
488
00:18:57,796 --> 00:18:59,631
Booze, music, hot,
489
00:18:59,664 --> 00:19:01,433
almost naked men.
490
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:03,969
That's three.
491
00:19:04,002 --> 00:19:05,704
Awww.
492
00:19:05,737 --> 00:19:06,404
You shouldn't snub your nose
493
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:07,239
at gogo bars.
494
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:08,807
They are an important tool in
the
495
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,410
gay mans sexual arsenal.
496
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:13,245
Like candles
497
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:14,613
and chocolate dipped
strawberries?
498
00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:16,381
Yes and No.
499
00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:17,482
Look,
500
00:19:17,516 --> 00:19:19,351
you need less romance and more
sex.
501
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:20,585
Ok, bear with me.
502
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:22,554
Define gogo boy.
503
00:19:22,587 --> 00:19:24,456
A young.
504
00:19:24,489 --> 00:19:26,224
Fit, attractive male.
505
00:19:26,258 --> 00:19:28,493
Wearing next to nothing -
506
00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:31,429
thrusting his engorged...
507
00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:32,564
Let's just say he's a sexy male
dancer.
508
00:19:32,597 --> 00:19:33,999
Yes, exactly, SEXY!
509
00:19:34,032 --> 00:19:36,234
Men are visual animals.
510
00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:36,835
We see a hot guy,
511
00:19:36,868 --> 00:19:37,969
we get turned on.
512
00:19:38,003 --> 00:19:39,671
Gogo boys are just eye candy
here
513
00:19:39,704 --> 00:19:42,440
to stimulate our adrenaline and
514
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,376
boost our testosterone.
515
00:19:44,409 --> 00:19:45,777
Ok.
516
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,811
So, they're here to tease.
517
00:19:46,845 --> 00:19:47,646
You can't have them,
518
00:19:47,679 --> 00:19:53,752
you can just look and gently
touch.
519
00:19:54,686 --> 00:19:55,820
This is all fine,
520
00:19:55,854 --> 00:19:57,822
but has nothing to do with me.
521
00:19:57,856 --> 00:19:58,657
That is where you are wrong.
522
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:02,327
It has everything to do with
you.
523
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,261
Guys want them,
524
00:20:03,295 --> 00:20:03,895
but they go home with me?
525
00:20:03,929 --> 00:20:04,696
Finally, yes!
526
00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:05,897
You want a man,
527
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:08,266
these boys will help you get
one.
528
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:08,800
I want someone
529
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,302
who cares about me.
530
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,503
Not someone who has sex with me
531
00:20:11,536 --> 00:20:12,804
while thinking of some greased
up
532
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,273
muscle twink in a g-string.
533
00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:16,575
Sex is sex.
534
00:20:16,608 --> 00:20:19,311
For you.
535
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,346
You need to relax, ok?
536
00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:23,715
Look, see that cutie over there?
537
00:20:23,748 --> 00:20:24,783
He's serving up mouth shots,
538
00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:25,483
go get him.
539
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,519
Along with possible meningitis.
540
00:20:27,552 --> 00:20:28,486
I think I'll stick with my
cocktail,
541
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:33,658
out of my partially clean glass.
542
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:34,626
I'd rather not.
543
00:20:34,659 --> 00:20:37,629
I know, but do it anyway.
544
00:20:37,662 --> 00:20:43,668
Here you go.
545
00:20:44,903 --> 00:20:46,605
Wow.
546
00:20:46,638 --> 00:20:47,272
If I'm going to do it,
547
00:20:47,305 --> 00:20:53,011
I might as well do it right.
548
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:59,050
(OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING)
549
00:20:59,084 --> 00:21:00,318
Got a minute?
550
00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:01,519
No.
551
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:03,054
I'm up to my nose in briefs.
552
00:21:03,088 --> 00:21:09,060
And not the good kind.
553
00:21:09,928 --> 00:21:12,797
What is wrong with men?
554
00:21:12,831 --> 00:21:14,633
At least its not a complicated
question.
555
00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:15,467
Let me clear my calendar
556
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:16,901
for the next decade
557
00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:18,903
and we can figure it out.
558
00:21:18,937 --> 00:21:19,771
Do you have any idea what its
559
00:21:19,804 --> 00:21:21,573
like to have an ovary full of
eggs
560
00:21:21,606 --> 00:21:23,074
screaming "fertilize me?"
561
00:21:23,108 --> 00:21:23,775
It adds a whole new dimension
562
00:21:23,808 --> 00:21:26,011
to the misery of being single.
563
00:21:26,044 --> 00:21:27,946
No, and I don't want to either.
564
00:21:27,979 --> 00:21:29,547
In fact, I'd rather not discuss
it.
565
00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:30,615
Being gay does not excuse you
566
00:21:30,649 --> 00:21:32,050
from having to deal with this.
567
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:36,454
I'm pretty sure it does.
568
00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:37,355
Besides,
569
00:21:37,389 --> 00:21:38,623
I'm newly single now too.
570
00:21:38,657 --> 00:21:39,791
Aw.
571
00:21:39,824 --> 00:21:40,492
Soon it will be time for you and
572
00:21:40,525 --> 00:21:42,694
Brody to be a couple, how sweet.
573
00:21:42,727 --> 00:21:43,561
No!
574
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:48,066
And when did I tell you about
that?
575
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:48,967
If I know Brody,
576
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,502
he's probably forgotten all
about it.
577
00:21:50,535 --> 00:21:51,536
Remind him.
578
00:21:51,569 --> 00:21:52,470
And videotape his expression
579
00:21:52,504 --> 00:21:53,605
when you do.
580
00:21:53,638 --> 00:21:55,573
It'll be a good one.
581
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:56,274
I'm counting on Brody not
582
00:21:56,307 --> 00:21:57,742
remembering our little plan.
583
00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:58,443
Why?
584
00:21:58,476 --> 00:21:59,911
He's a great catch, and so hot.
585
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:03,548
But he's not relationship
material.
586
00:22:03,581 --> 00:22:04,082
What about the two of you
587
00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,617
just fooling around?
588
00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:06,818
I cannot understand how your
best
589
00:22:06,851 --> 00:22:07,919
friend is a sexy cop and you
have
590
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,621
not hooked up yet.
591
00:22:09,654 --> 00:22:10,789
Contrary to what you may think,
592
00:22:10,822 --> 00:22:11,723
gay people don't all just sleep
593
00:22:11,756 --> 00:22:12,490
with each other.
594
00:22:12,524 --> 00:22:13,291
Really?
595
00:22:13,324 --> 00:22:14,559
I didn't get that memo and
neither
596
00:22:14,592 --> 00:22:18,997
did the rest of West Hollywood.
597
00:22:19,030 --> 00:22:19,864
Brody is my friend.
598
00:22:19,898 --> 00:22:23,735
You don't sleep with your
friends.
599
00:22:23,768 --> 00:22:24,302
How is it that I've never heard
600
00:22:24,335 --> 00:22:25,470
of any of these rules.
601
00:22:25,503 --> 00:22:26,404
I swear you make them up
602
00:22:26,438 --> 00:22:27,505
as you go along.
603
00:22:27,539 --> 00:22:28,206
Well, Brody and I
604
00:22:28,239 --> 00:22:29,941
don't see each other that way.
605
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:30,575
Don't tell me
606
00:22:30,608 --> 00:22:31,776
that you're not his type.
607
00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,778
Brody only has one type.
608
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:39,551
Facing down.
609
00:22:39,584 --> 00:22:40,785
Ok, thanks.
610
00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:44,856
Good chat.
611
00:22:44,889 --> 00:22:50,862
♪
612
00:24:13,111 --> 00:24:14,746
Aw.
613
00:24:14,779 --> 00:24:20,785
Great.
614
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:47,011
(FACETIME RINGING)
615
00:24:47,045 --> 00:24:49,814
Hey Brody.
616
00:24:49,848 --> 00:24:51,316
Someone's getting busy.
617
00:24:51,349 --> 00:24:52,083
Huh?
618
00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:54,786
Oh, wow, no.
619
00:24:54,819 --> 00:24:57,655
Talk about incriminating
evidence.
620
00:24:57,689 --> 00:24:58,356
I'm just cleaning up.
621
00:24:58,389 --> 00:25:00,892
Everything is covered in lube.
622
00:25:00,925 --> 00:25:02,260
That a boy!
623
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,962
It's not what it looks like.
624
00:25:03,995 --> 00:25:06,064
What do you want Brody?
625
00:25:06,097 --> 00:25:07,131
I just called to tell you
626
00:25:07,165 --> 00:25:08,333
I went south of the border
627
00:25:08,366 --> 00:25:09,033
and I'm not talking about
628
00:25:09,067 --> 00:25:10,668
a little road trip to Tijuana.
629
00:25:10,702 --> 00:25:11,736
I just made it with a
630
00:25:11,769 --> 00:25:13,905
smoking hot Latino "Papi."
631
00:25:13,938 --> 00:25:14,606
Dude, I don't know
632
00:25:14,639 --> 00:25:16,274
what's gotten into me lately.
633
00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:17,976
Probably about nine inches.
634
00:25:18,009 --> 00:25:19,010
Quick.
635
00:25:19,043 --> 00:25:22,046
Nice.
636
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:22,881
Well,
637
00:25:22,914 --> 00:25:24,816
I was having a nice night by
myself.
638
00:25:24,849 --> 00:25:26,351
I could tell.
639
00:25:26,384 --> 00:25:28,019
Not that.
640
00:25:28,052 --> 00:25:29,854
I cooked a terrific dinner,
641
00:25:29,888 --> 00:25:31,589
read a good book, played cards.
642
00:25:31,623 --> 00:25:32,423
I was about to get into this
big,
643
00:25:32,457 --> 00:25:34,158
soft bed without some strange
guy
644
00:25:34,192 --> 00:25:35,660
next to me, snoring and farting
645
00:25:35,693 --> 00:25:38,663
his way through the night.
646
00:25:38,696 --> 00:25:40,832
You sound miserable.
647
00:25:40,865 --> 00:25:45,370
I am.
648
00:25:45,403 --> 00:25:46,638
I'm going to find you
649
00:25:46,671 --> 00:25:50,742
the perfect guy.
650
00:25:50,775 --> 00:25:52,377
No, no.
651
00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:53,077
I'm your best friend.
652
00:25:53,111 --> 00:25:54,979
Who is more qualified than me to
653
00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:57,248
find a guy for you?
654
00:25:57,282 --> 00:25:59,117
Your argument is compelling,
655
00:25:59,150 --> 00:26:01,853
and as always, disconcerting.
656
00:26:01,886 --> 00:26:03,121
Trust me.
657
00:26:03,154 --> 00:26:04,322
I've met a lot of great guys
658
00:26:04,355 --> 00:26:05,123
over the years.
659
00:26:05,156 --> 00:26:06,724
If I wasn't a confirmed
bachelor,
660
00:26:06,758 --> 00:26:08,092
I would have scooped one up
myself.
661
00:26:08,126 --> 00:26:11,863
But hey, my loss is your gain.
662
00:26:11,896 --> 00:26:13,898
I'm going to find you a husband,
buddy.
663
00:26:13,932 --> 00:26:14,599
You better get buckle up,
664
00:26:14,632 --> 00:26:16,768
cause we're going on a manhunt.
665
00:26:16,801 --> 00:26:18,202
I'll brace for impact.
666
00:26:18,236 --> 00:26:22,907
Bye.
667
00:26:22,941 --> 00:26:24,108
Hi, I'm Myles.
668
00:26:24,142 --> 00:26:25,376
It's really nice to meet you.
669
00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:27,712
Brody told me a lot about you.
670
00:26:27,745 --> 00:26:28,580
I'm Stu.
671
00:26:28,613 --> 00:26:30,014
It's so funny you picked this
place.
672
00:26:30,048 --> 00:26:32,183
It's my favorite coffee shop...
673
00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:33,851
and you bought me an eclair,
674
00:26:33,885 --> 00:26:35,420
I love these.
675
00:26:35,453 --> 00:26:37,989
Here's a double decaf soy latte,
too.
676
00:26:38,022 --> 00:26:39,023
I like to do my research
677
00:26:39,057 --> 00:26:40,692
before I meet someone.
678
00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:41,492
When you say "you like to do
your
679
00:26:41,526 --> 00:26:43,861
research before you meet
someone,"
680
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:45,997
What exactly do you mean by
that
681
00:26:46,030 --> 00:26:47,231
I like to know who I'm meeting.
682
00:26:47,265 --> 00:26:48,700
I just do a standard Google,
683
00:26:48,733 --> 00:26:50,001
Facebook, LinkedIn search before
I
684
00:26:50,034 --> 00:26:51,135
meet them.
685
00:26:51,169 --> 00:26:52,737
You know, see if we're
compatible.
686
00:26:52,770 --> 00:26:55,073
Find out what you're into.
687
00:26:55,106 --> 00:26:57,008
So, you do this kind of
investigation
688
00:26:57,041 --> 00:26:59,844
with every guy you go out
with
689
00:26:59,877 --> 00:27:00,812
It helps me to come up with
some
690
00:27:00,845 --> 00:27:01,946
things to talk about.
691
00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:02,880
There's nothing worse than
meeting
692
00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:03,915
a guy for the first time and
693
00:27:03,948 --> 00:27:07,185
having nothing to talk about.
694
00:27:07,218 --> 00:27:08,219
My research also helps me do
695
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:13,458
things like this...
696
00:27:13,491 --> 00:27:16,127
It's your favorite flower.
697
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:16,961
I also know you played lacrosse
698
00:27:16,995 --> 00:27:18,029
in high school.
699
00:27:18,062 --> 00:27:19,230
You love to go camping and you
700
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:23,401
have a French Bulldog named
Doug.
701
00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:24,869
Could you excuse me for one
moment?
702
00:27:24,902 --> 00:27:26,738
I need to use the restroom.
703
00:27:26,771 --> 00:27:28,706
Do you want me to order for
you?
704
00:27:28,740 --> 00:27:29,974
Vanilla latte with extra foam,
705
00:27:30,008 --> 00:27:31,142
extra hot.
706
00:27:31,175 --> 00:27:32,710
Right?
707
00:27:32,744 --> 00:27:33,411
Oh wow.
708
00:27:33,444 --> 00:27:34,912
My sister just texted.
709
00:27:34,946 --> 00:27:36,914
She swallowed a rusty nail.
710
00:27:36,948 --> 00:27:37,548
I'm sorry, I'm going to have to
711
00:27:37,582 --> 00:27:42,020
take her to the hospital.
712
00:27:42,053 --> 00:27:48,026
Call me.
713
00:27:48,059 --> 00:27:53,498
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS. PHONE RINGS)
714
00:27:53,531 --> 00:27:54,399
What's up?
715
00:27:54,432 --> 00:27:56,067
Ok, I officially give up.
716
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:57,935
No more men.
717
00:27:57,969 --> 00:27:59,137
Ok, let's start with the mildly
718
00:27:59,170 --> 00:28:00,405
over-dramatic and work our way
719
00:28:00,438 --> 00:28:02,273
back to the partially sane.
720
00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:04,442
I'm like kryptonite to my
Superman.
721
00:28:04,475 --> 00:28:06,911
I'll never find someone to love
me.
722
00:28:06,944 --> 00:28:07,945
You're probably just
723
00:28:07,979 --> 00:28:09,347
coming on too strong, buddy.
724
00:28:09,380 --> 00:28:11,049
You just need to relax, get to
725
00:28:11,082 --> 00:28:13,384
know someone, have a little fun.
726
00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:15,486
So it is me?
727
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,188
It's not you.
728
00:28:17,221 --> 00:28:17,955
Look, I'm just setting you up
729
00:28:17,989 --> 00:28:18,890
with the wrong guys,
730
00:28:18,923 --> 00:28:20,091
give me one more chance.
731
00:28:20,124 --> 00:28:20,925
No.
732
00:28:20,958 --> 00:28:22,093
I'm heading straight to the
kennel.
733
00:28:22,126 --> 00:28:22,894
I'm going to pick out
734
00:28:22,927 --> 00:28:23,761
a little white dog
735
00:28:23,795 --> 00:28:26,330
and spend the rest of my days
alone.
736
00:28:26,364 --> 00:28:27,432
Come on, one more chance.
737
00:28:27,465 --> 00:28:31,269
One more date, I promise.
738
00:28:31,302 --> 00:28:31,936
Ok.
739
00:28:31,969 --> 00:28:33,538
I'll consider one more date,
740
00:28:33,571 --> 00:28:35,506
under one condition.
741
00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:37,909
It's non-negotiable.
742
00:28:37,942 --> 00:28:41,012
What are your terms, counselor?
743
00:28:41,045 --> 00:28:42,246
Will you come with?
744
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,015
Oh God.
745
00:28:44,048 --> 00:28:45,349
I won't do this alone.
746
00:28:45,383 --> 00:28:46,818
You pick out a date for me,
747
00:28:46,851 --> 00:28:48,786
and I'll pick out someone for
you.
748
00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:49,520
If you're there then you'll get
to
749
00:28:49,554 --> 00:28:51,956
witness the disaster first hand.
750
00:28:51,989 --> 00:28:55,026
It's like having box seats at a
751
00:28:55,059 --> 00:28:56,260
NASCAR event where you know
752
00:28:56,294 --> 00:28:57,395
there's going to be a multi-car
753
00:28:57,428 --> 00:28:59,263
pile up before it's all over.
754
00:28:59,297 --> 00:29:00,531
Well as long as you're going
into
755
00:29:00,565 --> 00:29:02,867
it with such a positive
attitude.
756
00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:03,468
Positive that I'm going to
757
00:29:03,501 --> 00:29:04,102
end up alone again
758
00:29:04,135 --> 00:29:05,570
at the end of the evening.
759
00:29:05,603 --> 00:29:11,809
Bye.
760
00:29:16,047 --> 00:29:17,148
I hope you like this place.
761
00:29:17,181 --> 00:29:18,950
They have the best stuffed
mushrooms.
762
00:29:18,983 --> 00:29:20,284
I love stuffed mushrooms.
763
00:29:20,318 --> 00:29:23,821
I had them the last time I was
here,
764
00:29:23,855 --> 00:29:25,923
when my date decided to ditch
me.
765
00:29:25,957 --> 00:29:28,292
Oh, sorry.
766
00:29:28,326 --> 00:29:29,227
Well,
767
00:29:29,260 --> 00:29:31,529
Hopefully, tonight will be
better for you.
768
00:29:31,562 --> 00:29:33,231
Here's to not being dumped
tonight.
769
00:29:33,264 --> 00:29:34,298
Wow, sorry.
770
00:29:34,332 --> 00:29:36,234
Myles can be a bit depressing.
771
00:29:36,267 --> 00:29:37,034
Hence having the waiter remove
all
772
00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:38,970
the sharp objects from the
table.
773
00:29:39,003 --> 00:29:43,074
You're an asshole.
774
00:29:43,107 --> 00:29:46,444
You don't recognize me, do you?
775
00:29:46,477 --> 00:29:49,247
Grindr.
776
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,183
I tried to message you a couple
times,
777
00:29:52,216 --> 00:29:54,085
but you never responded.
778
00:29:54,118 --> 00:29:55,286
I'm sorry, I'm not really good
779
00:29:55,319 --> 00:29:56,287
with technology.
780
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,623
I'm just a simple farm boy.
781
00:29:58,656 --> 00:29:59,157
Oh yeah?
782
00:29:59,190 --> 00:30:01,259
Where are you from?
783
00:30:01,292 --> 00:30:03,094
New York.
784
00:30:03,127 --> 00:30:04,061
How was the harvest in
Manhattan
785
00:30:04,095 --> 00:30:08,332
this season?
786
00:30:08,366 --> 00:30:10,301
I'm originally from Colombia.
787
00:30:10,334 --> 00:30:11,936
My parents are farmers.
788
00:30:11,969 --> 00:30:14,038
Organic coffee trade.
789
00:30:14,071 --> 00:30:14,872
There's no such thing
790
00:30:14,906 --> 00:30:16,307
as organic coffee.
791
00:30:16,340 --> 00:30:17,008
I hear it's just a marketing
ploy
792
00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:19,243
to drive up the cost of beans.
793
00:30:19,277 --> 00:30:20,645
My family's in the coffee
business, too.
794
00:30:20,678 --> 00:30:21,913
We sell espresso machines and
795
00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:26,551
roasted beans...mostly organic.
796
00:30:26,584 --> 00:30:27,652
What's your family name?
797
00:30:27,685 --> 00:30:28,653
Fiori.
798
00:30:28,686 --> 00:30:30,621
I've heard that name before.
799
00:30:30,655 --> 00:30:31,455
I think my family supplies your
800
00:30:31,489 --> 00:30:32,523
coffee beans.
801
00:30:32,557 --> 00:30:33,391
Get out of here.
802
00:30:33,424 --> 00:30:34,425
I'm serious.
803
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,194
I'm a total coffee whore.
804
00:30:36,227 --> 00:30:37,495
A double decaf latte, extra
soy,
805
00:30:37,528 --> 00:30:39,263
extra foam, extra hot.
806
00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:39,964
You don't want to know what I'd
807
00:30:39,997 --> 00:30:41,065
do for one of those before work
808
00:30:41,098 --> 00:30:43,234
in the morning.
809
00:30:43,267 --> 00:30:44,535
And you said it was just a
little
810
00:30:44,569 --> 00:30:45,603
vanilla froth on the corner of
811
00:30:45,636 --> 00:30:47,138
your mouth the other day.
812
00:30:47,171 --> 00:30:48,272
Hey, what goes on between my
813
00:30:48,306 --> 00:30:51,609
barista and I is my business.
814
00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:54,478
Do you know Vincent?
815
00:30:54,512 --> 00:30:55,479
Vincent Fiori.
816
00:30:55,513 --> 00:30:56,514
He's only my brother!
817
00:30:56,547 --> 00:30:58,282
Are you serious?
818
00:30:58,316 --> 00:30:59,150
Yes.
819
00:30:59,183 --> 00:31:00,351
What an awesome guy.
820
00:31:00,384 --> 00:31:01,152
Yeah, Vincent's been trying to
get
821
00:31:01,185 --> 00:31:02,553
me to travel with him for
years...
822
00:31:02,587 --> 00:31:03,287
I think he's even told me
823
00:31:03,321 --> 00:31:04,655
about your farm.
824
00:31:04,689 --> 00:31:05,456
No way.
825
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:06,290
Yes.
826
00:31:06,324 --> 00:31:07,124
We have one thousand acres of
the
827
00:31:07,158 --> 00:31:09,360
lushest farmland you've ever
seen.
828
00:31:09,393 --> 00:31:11,362
So how about them Dodgers?
829
00:31:11,395 --> 00:31:12,997
I don't follow sports.
830
00:31:13,030 --> 00:31:13,798
Sports are what straight guys
831
00:31:13,831 --> 00:31:14,365
talk about when they have
nothing
832
00:31:14,398 --> 00:31:16,133
better to say, come on!
833
00:31:16,167 --> 00:31:18,236
Yeah, right.
834
00:31:18,269 --> 00:31:19,036
I'm starting to regret having
the
835
00:31:19,070 --> 00:31:20,471
waiter remove those sharp
objects
836
00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,339
from the table.
837
00:31:21,372 --> 00:31:22,139
Yeah, I know.
838
00:31:22,173 --> 00:31:22,773
Give me a minute and I'll forge
a
839
00:31:22,807 --> 00:31:24,442
shiv out of a breadstick.
840
00:31:24,475 --> 00:31:26,210
Do you think they'll notice if
we left?
841
00:31:26,244 --> 00:31:28,546
I've always wanted to be the guy
that leaves.
842
00:31:28,579 --> 00:31:29,547
Myles.
843
00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:31,582
That is a horrible thing to do
to your date.
844
00:31:31,616 --> 00:31:32,550
I know, you're right.
845
00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:33,618
I'm sorry.
846
00:31:33,651 --> 00:31:34,585
I didn't say we shouldn't do
it.
847
00:31:34,619 --> 00:31:36,387
I just said it was a horrible
thing to do.
848
00:31:36,420 --> 00:31:38,489
Which makes it so much fun!
849
00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:41,058
Excuse me.
850
00:31:41,092 --> 00:31:47,064
I'm going to go too.
851
00:31:52,236 --> 00:31:54,038
"Fiori."
852
00:31:54,071 --> 00:31:58,342
Well that went predictably bad.
853
00:31:58,376 --> 00:31:59,310
I'll give you that much.
854
00:31:59,343 --> 00:32:00,144
Tonight needs to end
855
00:32:00,177 --> 00:32:01,612
with a stiff drink.
856
00:32:01,646 --> 00:32:02,980
Scotch?
857
00:32:03,014 --> 00:32:04,482
No, I got a big meeting
tomorrow.
858
00:32:04,515 --> 00:32:06,150
Come on, hang out, chill.
859
00:32:06,183 --> 00:32:06,684
You don't have to rush home
860
00:32:06,717 --> 00:32:08,319
to Jeff Stryker.
861
00:32:08,352 --> 00:32:12,456
Jeff Stryker?
862
00:32:12,490 --> 00:32:16,394
Oh, the dildo?
863
00:32:16,427 --> 00:32:19,430
Here.
864
00:32:19,463 --> 00:32:20,464
You know I can send my cleaning
865
00:32:20,498 --> 00:32:21,632
lady over if you want.
866
00:32:21,666 --> 00:32:22,566
She's only seventy-five bucks a
visit.
867
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,702
She'll bring her own napalm.
868
00:32:24,735 --> 00:32:26,537
Hey, I made a path to the
couch.
869
00:32:26,570 --> 00:32:29,073
That counts for something,
right?
870
00:32:29,106 --> 00:32:29,607
You need someone
871
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,608
to take care of you.
872
00:32:30,641 --> 00:32:33,678
No, I need to hire a maid.
873
00:32:33,711 --> 00:32:34,612
Everyone needs someone.
874
00:32:34,645 --> 00:32:35,479
Even you.
875
00:32:35,513 --> 00:32:36,547
What are you afraid of?
876
00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:38,015
Of being nagged to death about
877
00:32:38,049 --> 00:32:39,717
being single.
878
00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:42,219
We need to get you a man.
879
00:32:42,253 --> 00:32:48,225
Give me your phone.
880
00:32:48,492 --> 00:32:49,560
Alright, take your shirt off.
881
00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:50,461
What?
882
00:32:50,494 --> 00:32:51,762
Take your shirt off.
883
00:32:51,796 --> 00:32:52,763
No.
884
00:32:52,797 --> 00:32:53,564
You're not putting half naked
885
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,299
pictures of me up on the
internet.
886
00:32:55,333 --> 00:32:56,233
No way
887
00:32:56,267 --> 00:32:57,068
It's not the internet.
888
00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:59,370
It's an app and everyone does
it.
889
00:32:59,403 --> 00:33:01,405
Look, you need to try something
890
00:33:01,439 --> 00:33:02,373
different for a change.
891
00:33:02,406 --> 00:33:04,175
No.
892
00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:05,676
How do you do it?
893
00:33:05,710 --> 00:33:09,547
Very well and often on all
fours.
894
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:10,247
Trust me,
895
00:33:10,281 --> 00:33:13,284
it is better than being alone.
896
00:33:13,317 --> 00:33:15,553
I'm really not comfortable with
this.
897
00:33:15,586 --> 00:33:16,587
It's all about advertising.
898
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,589
If you want to catch a fish,
899
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:20,491
you've got to show him your
worm.
900
00:33:20,524 --> 00:33:23,661
No one is seeing my "worm",
901
00:33:23,694 --> 00:33:24,695
and the shirt stays on.
902
00:33:24,729 --> 00:33:26,197
It's non-negotiable.
903
00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:27,131
Fine.
904
00:33:27,164 --> 00:33:28,466
Leave the shirt on.
905
00:33:28,499 --> 00:33:30,234
Now smile and say,
906
00:33:30,267 --> 00:33:31,369
"I'm a bad little boy
907
00:33:31,402 --> 00:33:34,271
who's looking for a sexy daddy."
908
00:33:34,305 --> 00:33:38,142
"Cheese"
909
00:33:38,175 --> 00:33:44,148
"Cheese" will do.
910
00:33:44,782 --> 00:33:45,783
Look at that!
911
00:33:45,816 --> 00:33:46,584
Oh my god.
912
00:33:46,617 --> 00:33:47,451
It's beautiful.
913
00:33:47,485 --> 00:33:48,018
No its not.
914
00:33:48,052 --> 00:33:50,454
It's awful, delete it.
915
00:33:50,488 --> 00:33:53,858
No way.
916
00:33:53,891 --> 00:33:58,729
I've got to delete this.
917
00:33:58,763 --> 00:34:01,165
(BEEP)
918
00:34:01,198 --> 00:34:03,467
Wow, ok.
919
00:34:03,501 --> 00:34:05,202
(BEEP)
920
00:34:05,236 --> 00:34:06,637
Wow.
921
00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:07,705
(BEEP)
922
00:34:07,738 --> 00:34:12,376
Now?
923
00:34:12,410 --> 00:34:18,382
♪
924
00:34:35,533 --> 00:34:41,505
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
925
00:34:43,207 --> 00:34:44,708
Cute.
926
00:34:44,742 --> 00:34:48,913
I like the "Abercrombie meets
927
00:34:48,946 --> 00:34:50,514
Log-Cabin-Republican" thing
928
00:34:50,548 --> 00:34:52,550
you've got going on.
929
00:34:52,583 --> 00:34:53,751
I have to tell you I've never
930
00:34:53,784 --> 00:34:54,885
done this kind of thing before.
931
00:34:54,919 --> 00:34:56,854
And what kind of thing is that?
932
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:57,888
Meet up with a guy I don't know
933
00:34:57,922 --> 00:34:59,290
in the middle of the night.
934
00:34:59,323 --> 00:35:00,524
And what do you think so far?
935
00:35:00,558 --> 00:35:02,493
I'm nervous.
936
00:35:02,526 --> 00:35:03,594
How adorable.
937
00:35:03,627 --> 00:35:05,463
You want to come in?
938
00:35:05,496 --> 00:35:06,297
You're not going to kill me,
939
00:35:06,330 --> 00:35:07,498
are you?
940
00:35:07,531 --> 00:35:08,566
Do you really think that
someone
941
00:35:08,599 --> 00:35:09,567
who is planning on killing you,
942
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:10,434
is going to answer that question
943
00:35:10,468 --> 00:35:13,537
with a yes?
944
00:35:13,571 --> 00:35:16,307
Feel like taking your chances?
945
00:35:16,340 --> 00:35:17,174
I wasn't planning on revealing
946
00:35:17,208 --> 00:35:20,177
I was this neurotic until much
later.
947
00:35:20,211 --> 00:35:22,613
The cat's out of the bag now.
948
00:35:22,646 --> 00:35:28,652
Offer still stands.
949
00:35:48,506 --> 00:35:49,773
Can I get you a drink?
950
00:35:49,807 --> 00:35:51,742
I've got whiskey, beer, vodka.
951
00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:53,377
I'm fine.
952
00:35:53,410 --> 00:35:54,778
Hit?
953
00:35:54,812 --> 00:35:56,914
No, I'm good.
954
00:35:56,947 --> 00:35:58,215
You mind?
955
00:35:58,249 --> 00:36:04,255
No.
956
00:36:04,455 --> 00:36:05,789
Are you sure?
957
00:36:05,823 --> 00:36:10,794
No, I'm fine.
958
00:36:10,828 --> 00:36:14,698
So what happens now?
959
00:36:14,732 --> 00:36:20,738
Whatever you want.
960
00:36:22,406 --> 00:36:27,978
I don't bite...very hard a
first.
961
00:36:28,012 --> 00:36:29,480
Sure I can't change your mind
962
00:36:29,513 --> 00:36:33,450
about that drink?
963
00:36:33,484 --> 00:36:39,490
Make it a double.
964
00:36:45,529 --> 00:36:50,901
(FACETIME RINGING)
965
00:36:50,935 --> 00:36:51,969
What's up, buddy?
966
00:36:52,002 --> 00:36:55,506
Hey, I took your advice.
967
00:36:55,539 --> 00:36:56,640
Where are you
968
00:36:56,674 --> 00:36:57,575
I'm at this
969
00:36:57,608 --> 00:36:59,777
seriously hot guy's house.
970
00:36:59,810 --> 00:37:00,678
Don't even say you did it,
971
00:37:00,711 --> 00:37:02,379
I will not believe you.
972
00:37:02,413 --> 00:37:04,748
This is, so hot.
973
00:37:04,782 --> 00:37:05,816
Where are you
974
00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:07,418
His name is Hunter.
975
00:37:07,451 --> 00:37:09,753
Yeah, I'm sure it is.
976
00:37:09,787 --> 00:37:10,487
Shh.
977
00:37:10,521 --> 00:37:11,188
Here he comes.
978
00:37:11,221 --> 00:37:12,590
I gotta go; I'll call you later.
979
00:37:12,623 --> 00:37:16,860
Hey, wait...
980
00:37:16,894 --> 00:37:18,796
Was that your backup plan?
981
00:37:18,829 --> 00:37:20,698
Oh, no it's just my buddy.
982
00:37:20,731 --> 00:37:21,398
He always calls me
983
00:37:21,432 --> 00:37:25,936
when he meets a hot guy so...
984
00:37:25,970 --> 00:37:26,770
I just called him.
985
00:37:26,804 --> 00:37:29,306
(PHONE RINGING)
986
00:37:29,340 --> 00:37:31,075
I'm flattered.
987
00:37:31,108 --> 00:37:32,610
I'm sorry.
988
00:37:32,643 --> 00:37:33,677
You can get it if you want.
989
00:37:33,711 --> 00:37:39,683
One second.
990
00:37:43,487 --> 00:37:44,655
What do you want?
991
00:37:44,688 --> 00:37:45,823
What are you doing?
992
00:37:45,856 --> 00:37:47,458
I'm taking your advice.
993
00:37:47,491 --> 00:37:48,759
My advice?
994
00:37:48,792 --> 00:37:50,694
Yeah, meet people and have fun.
995
00:37:50,728 --> 00:37:51,662
Look, I gotta go.
996
00:37:51,695 --> 00:37:52,563
I don't want to be rude.
997
00:37:52,596 --> 00:37:53,464
I'll call you later.
998
00:37:53,497 --> 00:37:54,565
Hey wait.
999
00:37:54,598 --> 00:38:00,604
No, I'll call you later.
1000
00:38:01,105 --> 00:38:03,440
That was ridiculous I know.
1001
00:38:03,474 --> 00:38:05,042
Now I'm embarrassed.
1002
00:38:05,075 --> 00:38:05,976
No.
1003
00:38:06,010 --> 00:38:09,847
Don't worry, it was sweet.
1004
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,081
Well if there's no one else
1005
00:38:11,115 --> 00:38:13,651
you'd like to ring up at
midnight,
1006
00:38:13,684 --> 00:38:14,285
are you ready
1007
00:38:14,318 --> 00:38:17,888
to get to know each other?
1008
00:38:17,921 --> 00:38:18,555
Do you mind
1009
00:38:18,589 --> 00:38:20,891
if we just hang out tonight?
1010
00:38:20,924 --> 00:38:22,459
Oh.
1011
00:38:22,493 --> 00:38:25,796
Okay - no worries.
1012
00:38:25,829 --> 00:38:28,399
I'm down with whatever.
1013
00:38:28,432 --> 00:38:29,933
You sure?
1014
00:38:29,967 --> 00:38:31,402
Yeah, that's fine.
1015
00:38:31,435 --> 00:38:33,370
I just assumed
1016
00:38:33,404 --> 00:38:35,572
that was what you wanted.
1017
00:38:35,606 --> 00:38:39,410
I'm not really like that.
1018
00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:40,511
Me neither.
1019
00:38:40,544 --> 00:38:42,746
I'm really just a simple,
1020
00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:45,749
romantic homebody.
1021
00:38:45,783 --> 00:38:47,551
I'm good with just
1022
00:38:47,584 --> 00:38:49,753
hanging out tonight.
1023
00:38:49,787 --> 00:38:52,089
That's very cool of you.
1024
00:38:52,122 --> 00:38:53,090
You just seem like
1025
00:38:53,123 --> 00:38:55,159
a really great guy.
1026
00:38:55,192 --> 00:39:01,398
I do.
1027
00:39:01,699 --> 00:39:03,701
You know...if you want to put
1028
00:39:03,734 --> 00:39:04,868
your hand on my leg again,
1029
00:39:04,902 --> 00:39:10,874
I won't freak out, I promise.
1030
00:39:13,677 --> 00:39:19,650
♪
1031
00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:39,136
(OFFICE SOUNDS. PHONES RINGING)
1032
00:39:42,106 --> 00:39:48,112
(MORNING SOUNDS. BIRDS CHIRPING)
1033
00:39:54,685 --> 00:39:55,619
Aww.
1034
00:39:55,652 --> 00:39:57,521
How Sweet.
1035
00:39:57,554 --> 00:40:00,691
Well that was certainly hot.
1036
00:40:00,724 --> 00:40:02,459
I needed that.
1037
00:40:02,493 --> 00:40:04,595
Apparently several times.
1038
00:40:04,628 --> 00:40:05,963
Listen, I need to go,
1039
00:40:05,996 --> 00:40:08,499
I have class.
1040
00:40:08,532 --> 00:40:09,566
Oh.
1041
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:10,834
What are you studying?
1042
00:40:10,868 --> 00:40:13,137
It's an aerobics class.
1043
00:40:13,170 --> 00:40:14,071
Oh.
1044
00:40:14,104 --> 00:40:15,038
Is it tough?
1045
00:40:15,072 --> 00:40:16,240
It's actually quite fun.
1046
00:40:16,273 --> 00:40:17,040
No.
1047
00:40:17,074 --> 00:40:17,908
I mean getting back to the
1980's
1048
00:40:17,941 --> 00:40:21,044
when they actually taught
aerobics.
1049
00:40:21,078 --> 00:40:23,046
It's coming back, I'll have you
know.
1050
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:24,081
I'll have to remember to tell
my
1051
00:40:24,114 --> 00:40:25,616
leg warmers that.
1052
00:40:25,649 --> 00:40:28,085
What are leg warmers?
1053
00:40:28,118 --> 00:40:29,953
You're kidding, right?
1054
00:40:29,987 --> 00:40:31,955
No, and unfortunately I don't
1055
00:40:31,989 --> 00:40:33,223
have time to find out.
1056
00:40:33,257 --> 00:40:35,859
I need to leave,
1057
00:40:35,893 --> 00:40:37,161
I have to be there at eleven.
1058
00:40:37,194 --> 00:40:37,961
Oh my god!
1059
00:40:37,995 --> 00:40:43,934
It's eleven?!
1060
00:40:43,967 --> 00:40:47,905
(PHONE RINGING)
1061
00:40:47,938 --> 00:40:48,772
Hey, what happened to you?
1062
00:40:48,806 --> 00:40:50,774
You never called me back last
night.
1063
00:40:50,808 --> 00:40:52,676
It's Diane.
1064
00:40:52,709 --> 00:40:54,678
Brody, do you know where Myles
is?
1065
00:40:54,711 --> 00:40:56,880
Well did you try him at home?
1066
00:40:56,914 --> 00:40:57,548
It's a wonder
1067
00:40:57,581 --> 00:40:59,550
you're not a detective yet.
1068
00:40:59,583 --> 00:41:00,617
Uh.
1069
00:41:00,651 --> 00:41:01,485
I don't know.
1070
00:41:01,518 --> 00:41:02,653
I haven't seen him since last
night.
1071
00:41:02,686 --> 00:41:03,287
Well, he had a client meeting
1072
00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:04,188
on the books at 9:30
1073
00:41:04,221 --> 00:41:06,290
and he missed it.
1074
00:41:06,323 --> 00:41:07,724
Ok.
1075
00:41:07,758 --> 00:41:08,559
Let me go check in on him.
1076
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:10,828
I'll get back to you in ten
minutes.
1077
00:41:10,861 --> 00:41:13,931
Thank you.
1078
00:41:13,964 --> 00:41:14,731
Myles.
1079
00:41:14,765 --> 00:41:15,766
Are you in there?
1080
00:41:15,799 --> 00:41:19,203
Don't you have a key?
1081
00:41:19,236 --> 00:41:22,139
Why would I need a key?
1082
00:41:22,172 --> 00:41:23,574
Is there a problem officers?
1083
00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:24,274
No sir.
1084
00:41:24,308 --> 00:41:26,977
We're just responding to a call.
1085
00:41:27,010 --> 00:41:27,878
Do you know Myles?
1086
00:41:27,911 --> 00:41:28,912
I do.
1087
00:41:28,946 --> 00:41:30,781
Quiet gentleman, but nice.
1088
00:41:30,814 --> 00:41:32,649
Always a hello in the hallway.
1089
00:41:32,683 --> 00:41:33,817
Raised right.
1090
00:41:33,851 --> 00:41:35,819
Smells good too.
1091
00:41:35,853 --> 00:41:37,054
What did he do?
1092
00:41:37,087 --> 00:41:38,155
He didn't do anything.
1093
00:41:38,188 --> 00:41:39,823
We're just checking in on him.
1094
00:41:39,857 --> 00:41:40,924
Did you happen to see him last
night?
1095
00:41:40,958 --> 00:41:41,925
Nope.
1096
00:41:41,959 --> 00:41:42,893
Don't think he came home
1097
00:41:42,926 --> 00:41:44,228
or I would have heard him.
1098
00:41:44,261 --> 00:41:45,796
I hear everything.
1099
00:41:45,829 --> 00:41:47,097
Even with this bad ear,
1100
00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:48,932
I catch it all.
1101
00:41:48,966 --> 00:41:51,201
Let me know if you need my help.
1102
00:41:51,235 --> 00:41:54,004
I'm a vigilante you know.
1103
00:41:54,037 --> 00:41:55,272
I think we've got it covered.
1104
00:41:55,305 --> 00:41:57,140
But, thank you for your help.
1105
00:41:57,174 --> 00:42:00,010
Anything for officers of the
law.
1106
00:42:00,043 --> 00:42:06,016
Keep up the good work boys.
1107
00:42:17,828 --> 00:42:19,963
Myles.
1108
00:42:19,997 --> 00:42:22,633
Myles you here
1109
00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:25,202
Myles?
1110
00:42:25,235 --> 00:42:31,241
Myles?
1111
00:42:32,743 --> 00:42:33,777
Wow.
1112
00:42:33,810 --> 00:42:38,148
Who is his roommate, Mr. Clean?
1113
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,349
A carafe?
1114
00:42:39,383 --> 00:42:40,384
Silver shaker?
1115
00:42:40,417 --> 00:42:41,251
Who does he entertain here?
1116
00:42:41,285 --> 00:42:47,257
James Bond?
1117
00:42:48,692 --> 00:42:49,359
When blockbuster runs out of
1118
00:42:49,393 --> 00:42:50,294
DVD's to rent, do they come here
1119
00:42:50,327 --> 00:42:51,962
and borrow a few from Myles?
1120
00:42:51,995 --> 00:42:52,529
Ok.
1121
00:42:52,562 --> 00:42:53,230
Enough with the running
1122
00:42:53,263 --> 00:42:53,931
commentary, can you just see if
1123
00:42:53,964 --> 00:42:55,699
you can find something please.
1124
00:42:55,732 --> 00:42:56,733
Like what, dust?
1125
00:42:56,767 --> 00:43:02,039
Good luck with that.
1126
00:43:02,072 --> 00:43:05,976
Come on.
1127
00:43:06,009 --> 00:43:07,744
He never came home last night.
1128
00:43:07,778 --> 00:43:08,645
I'm sure he's fine.
1129
00:43:08,679 --> 00:43:09,513
Yeah.
1130
00:43:09,546 --> 00:43:10,080
Famous last words before they
find
1131
00:43:10,113 --> 00:43:11,815
his body in a dumpster.
1132
00:43:11,848 --> 00:43:12,749
Look, we need to put an APB out
1133
00:43:12,783 --> 00:43:13,817
and get more eyes out there
1134
00:43:13,850 --> 00:43:14,918
looking for him now.
1135
00:43:14,952 --> 00:43:15,852
Before we sound the alarm,
1136
00:43:15,886 --> 00:43:17,054
let's stop by his office
1137
00:43:17,087 --> 00:43:18,855
and see what we can find.
1138
00:43:18,889 --> 00:43:20,157
Relax.
1139
00:43:20,190 --> 00:43:21,191
It'll be fine.
1140
00:43:21,224 --> 00:43:22,726
Just one quick stop, okay?
1141
00:43:22,759 --> 00:43:28,732
Ok.
1142
00:43:36,406 --> 00:43:37,741
There you are!
1143
00:43:37,774 --> 00:43:38,442
Thanks for covering...
1144
00:43:38,475 --> 00:43:39,109
Wait a second.
1145
00:43:39,142 --> 00:43:40,243
Why do you look like this?
1146
00:43:40,277 --> 00:43:41,778
Is this a walk of shame?
1147
00:43:41,812 --> 00:43:42,879
I'm not ashamed of anything.
1148
00:43:42,913 --> 00:43:44,047
Well, you obviously didn't do it
right.
1149
00:43:44,081 --> 00:43:46,049
I wouldn't be so sure about
that.
1150
00:43:46,083 --> 00:43:47,384
Ok.
1151
00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:48,452
I want to hear everything,
1152
00:43:48,485 --> 00:43:50,253
and it better be filthy.
1153
00:43:50,287 --> 00:43:52,222
Phone numbers, names,
descriptions.
1154
00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:53,890
Is video asking too much?
1155
00:43:53,924 --> 00:43:56,226
A gentleman never kisses and
tells.
1156
00:43:56,259 --> 00:43:57,094
A gentleman who doesn't tell is
1157
00:43:57,127 --> 00:43:58,829
asking for a beating.
1158
00:43:58,862 --> 00:43:59,663
Ok.
1159
00:43:59,696 --> 00:44:00,063
But only because I'm afraid of
you
1160
00:44:00,097 --> 00:44:00,631
right now.
1161
00:44:00,664 --> 00:44:03,033
Wait, hold that thought.
1162
00:44:03,066 --> 00:44:04,301
Before you start, I have to call
Brody
1163
00:44:04,334 --> 00:44:05,769
and have him call off the SWAT
1164
00:44:05,802 --> 00:44:09,940
team he's going to send after
you.
1165
00:44:09,973 --> 00:44:11,274
(PHONE RINGING)
1166
00:44:11,308 --> 00:44:13,010
I was just calling you.
1167
00:44:13,043 --> 00:44:13,577
See?
1168
00:44:13,610 --> 00:44:14,911
I told you he was fine.
1169
00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:16,980
Has he been here the whole time?
1170
00:44:17,014 --> 00:44:18,148
He just got here.
1171
00:44:18,181 --> 00:44:19,416
Hence me trying to call you.
1172
00:44:19,449 --> 00:44:21,985
Hey, I'm standing right here.
1173
00:44:22,019 --> 00:44:22,953
Diane called, said you didn't
1174
00:44:22,986 --> 00:44:24,054
come into work.
1175
00:44:24,087 --> 00:44:25,222
She made us all nervous.
1176
00:44:25,255 --> 00:44:26,089
I just came in a little late.
1177
00:44:26,123 --> 00:44:27,891
You really didn't have to call
Brody.
1178
00:44:27,924 --> 00:44:28,925
Don't blame me, it's my
maternal
1179
00:44:28,959 --> 00:44:33,030
instincts - I'm a slave to them.
1180
00:44:33,063 --> 00:44:34,164
Suddenly this day has just
taken
1181
00:44:34,197 --> 00:44:35,966
a turn for the better.
1182
00:44:35,999 --> 00:44:39,169
Hello, my name is Diane.
1183
00:44:39,202 --> 00:44:40,370
I hope you enjoy the softer
1184
00:44:40,404 --> 00:44:41,271
of the two sexes.
1185
00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:42,773
Hi.
1186
00:44:42,806 --> 00:44:47,277
I'm officer Garcia...and I do.
1187
00:44:47,310 --> 00:44:48,745
Where were you?
1188
00:44:48,779 --> 00:44:49,946
I thought something happened.
1189
00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:51,515
Something did.
1190
00:44:51,548 --> 00:44:52,416
He was just about to tell me
all
1191
00:44:52,449 --> 00:44:53,450
the sordid details.
1192
00:44:53,483 --> 00:44:54,918
I'm dying to hear them.
1193
00:44:54,951 --> 00:44:55,886
I have a feeling that most of
them
1194
00:44:55,919 --> 00:44:56,987
are filthy.
1195
00:44:57,020 --> 00:44:58,288
Well, I can't right now.
1196
00:44:58,321 --> 00:44:59,322
I've got a ton of work
1197
00:44:59,356 --> 00:45:00,157
to catch up on.
1198
00:45:00,190 --> 00:45:03,260
So if you'd excuse me.
1199
00:45:03,293 --> 00:45:03,927
Are you serious?
1200
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,362
Is he serious?
1201
00:45:05,395 --> 00:45:07,764
Look, could you give us a
minute?
1202
00:45:07,798 --> 00:45:09,099
You take all the time you need.
1203
00:45:09,132 --> 00:45:10,067
You.
1204
00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:14,037
Come with me.
1205
00:45:14,071 --> 00:45:14,604
Ok.
1206
00:45:14,638 --> 00:45:15,305
What were you doing?
1207
00:45:15,338 --> 00:45:16,139
What were you thinking, going to
1208
00:45:16,173 --> 00:45:16,807
some strangers house in the
middle
1209
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,241
of the night for a hook up?
1210
00:45:18,275 --> 00:45:19,309
It was your idea.
1211
00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:20,510
I'm trying new things.
1212
00:45:20,544 --> 00:45:22,379
Plus, you do it all the time.
1213
00:45:22,412 --> 00:45:24,014
I'm different than you.
1214
00:45:24,047 --> 00:45:25,315
How?
1215
00:45:25,348 --> 00:45:26,149
I'm a cop.
1216
00:45:26,183 --> 00:45:27,851
I can defend myself, unlike
you...
1217
00:45:27,884 --> 00:45:29,820
Oh please.
1218
00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:30,821
Myles.
1219
00:45:30,854 --> 00:45:31,922
I know guys,
1220
00:45:31,955 --> 00:45:32,756
some of them are real creeps.
1221
00:45:32,789 --> 00:45:35,192
I see what people are capable
of.
1222
00:45:35,225 --> 00:45:36,393
I appreciate your concern.
1223
00:45:36,426 --> 00:45:37,360
Really, I do.
1224
00:45:37,394 --> 00:45:38,995
But I can take care of myself,
1225
00:45:39,029 --> 00:45:40,464
thank you.
1226
00:45:40,497 --> 00:45:41,431
Really?
1227
00:45:41,465 --> 00:45:42,833
Like the time those girls scouts
1228
00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:44,101
talked you into buying a dozen
1229
00:45:44,134 --> 00:45:45,869
boxes of cookies?
1230
00:45:45,902 --> 00:45:46,970
That wasn't my fault.
1231
00:45:47,003 --> 00:45:48,405
There were four of them and only
1232
00:45:48,438 --> 00:45:50,173
one of me.
1233
00:45:50,207 --> 00:45:51,141
So do you have a first name,
1234
00:45:51,174 --> 00:45:52,809
Officer Garcia?
1235
00:45:52,843 --> 00:45:55,812
It's Richard.
1236
00:45:55,846 --> 00:45:58,281
As in...?
1237
00:45:58,315 --> 00:46:00,550
Yes, Richard.
1238
00:46:00,584 --> 00:46:02,352
Uh huh.
1239
00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:03,019
I can see that you're
1240
00:46:03,053 --> 00:46:05,088
packing a lot of equipment.
1241
00:46:05,122 --> 00:46:06,323
Well, we're outfitted with the
1242
00:46:06,356 --> 00:46:09,860
proper gear to handle any
situation.
1243
00:46:09,893 --> 00:46:12,929
I can see that.
1244
00:46:12,963 --> 00:46:15,065
Look, I've got to get to work.
1245
00:46:15,098 --> 00:46:16,299
Can we fight about this later?
1246
00:46:16,333 --> 00:46:21,938
Maybe, if I'm not too
busy...dad
1247
00:46:21,972 --> 00:46:23,840
So what does a girl have to do
to
1248
00:46:23,874 --> 00:46:25,609
get her hands on your
nightstick
1249
00:46:25,642 --> 00:46:27,077
Well, it's actually bigger than
it looks.
1250
00:46:27,110 --> 00:46:29,012
If you...
1251
00:46:29,045 --> 00:46:31,381
Let's go.
1252
00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:32,349
It's nice meeting you.
1253
00:46:32,382 --> 00:46:34,885
You too.
1254
00:46:34,918 --> 00:46:38,221
(mouthing) Oh My God!
1255
00:46:38,255 --> 00:46:39,856
So, what's the deal with
Diane?
1256
00:46:39,890 --> 00:46:40,690
I know.
1257
00:46:40,724 --> 00:46:41,591
I'm sorry you got stuck with
her.
1258
00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:43,994
She is a psycho.
1259
00:46:44,027 --> 00:46:44,961
I felt like a piece of meat for
1260
00:46:44,995 --> 00:46:47,597
her to chew on and spit out.
1261
00:46:47,631 --> 00:46:49,332
How awesome is that?
1262
00:46:49,366 --> 00:46:50,901
Wait.
1263
00:46:50,934 --> 00:46:51,568
What
1264
00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:52,602
"Muy Caliente"
1265
00:46:52,636 --> 00:46:53,503
Diane?
1266
00:46:53,537 --> 00:46:55,405
As in, you and Diane?
1267
00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:56,439
No, No, No.
1268
00:46:56,473 --> 00:46:57,274
That is a bad idea.
1269
00:46:57,307 --> 00:46:59,910
The two of you could not be
more...
1270
00:46:59,943 --> 00:47:00,744
different.
1271
00:47:00,777 --> 00:47:01,912
Friction is what makes the
heat,
1272
00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,113
my friend.
1273
00:47:03,146 --> 00:47:04,447
Besides, I'm packing...
1274
00:47:04,481 --> 00:47:06,983
and I carry a gun.
1275
00:47:07,017 --> 00:47:10,921
Let's leave the bad sexual puns
to me.
1276
00:47:10,954 --> 00:47:14,357
So, what happened with Myles?
1277
00:47:14,391 --> 00:47:16,459
He went home
1278
00:47:16,493 --> 00:47:17,961
with some guy last night.
1279
00:47:17,994 --> 00:47:19,062
That's great.
1280
00:47:19,095 --> 00:47:20,397
Your plan worked.
1281
00:47:20,430 --> 00:47:21,398
Yeah.
1282
00:47:21,431 --> 00:47:23,033
I guess it did, right?
1283
00:47:23,066 --> 00:47:23,934
You should be happy;
1284
00:47:23,967 --> 00:47:24,568
you're off the hook.
1285
00:47:24,601 --> 00:47:25,335
Beers on me.
1286
00:47:25,368 --> 00:47:26,970
You pick the place.
1287
00:47:27,003 --> 00:47:32,442
Deal.
1288
00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:34,344
♪
1289
00:47:34,377 --> 00:47:35,011
He clearly doesn't know
1290
00:47:35,045 --> 00:47:39,616
I carry a gun.
1291
00:47:39,649 --> 00:47:40,517
Great.
1292
00:47:40,550 --> 00:47:41,184
Now he's going to like me
1293
00:47:41,218 --> 00:47:42,485
that much more!
1294
00:47:42,519 --> 00:47:43,553
I have gone to plenty of titty
1295
00:47:43,587 --> 00:47:44,387
bars with you.
1296
00:47:44,421 --> 00:47:46,156
You can get your gogo on with
me.
1297
00:47:46,189 --> 00:47:46,723
In that case,
1298
00:47:46,756 --> 00:47:48,325
I need another drink.
1299
00:47:48,358 --> 00:47:54,364
Here, oh...
1300
00:48:00,570 --> 00:48:05,208
Hey! What the hell?
1301
00:48:05,242 --> 00:48:06,309
I'm sorry.
1302
00:48:06,343 --> 00:48:09,379
You just caught me off guard.
1303
00:48:09,412 --> 00:48:12,048
I was going to warn you about
that.
1304
00:48:12,082 --> 00:48:13,149
No you weren't.
1305
00:48:13,183 --> 00:48:14,117
They're called mouth shots
1306
00:48:14,150 --> 00:48:14,951
for a reason.
1307
00:48:14,985 --> 00:48:15,652
What the hell other kind of
shots
1308
00:48:15,685 --> 00:48:16,586
are there?
1309
00:48:16,620 --> 00:48:19,556
Don't answer that.
1310
00:48:19,589 --> 00:48:21,157
Alright, I gotta run.
1311
00:48:21,191 --> 00:48:22,359
Where are you going?
1312
00:48:22,392 --> 00:48:23,260
I told Diane I'd meet up with
her
1313
00:48:23,293 --> 00:48:26,529
after she got off work.
1314
00:48:26,563 --> 00:48:31,501
Don't forget your handcuffs.
1315
00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:35,372
♪
1316
00:48:35,405 --> 00:48:41,378
(PHONE BUZZING)
1317
00:49:01,398 --> 00:49:04,100
Someone's having WWF Smackdown,
1318
00:49:04,134 --> 00:49:04,768
screaming until your neighbors
1319
00:49:04,801 --> 00:49:06,670
bang on the wall-style sex.
1320
00:49:06,703 --> 00:49:08,505
It shows?
1321
00:49:08,538 --> 00:49:09,306
I'm talking about myself and my
1322
00:49:09,339 --> 00:49:11,308
spicy Latino lover.
1323
00:49:11,341 --> 00:49:13,209
You and Richard?
1324
00:49:13,243 --> 00:49:14,477
It's kind of like a spin class
-
1325
00:49:14,511 --> 00:49:15,679
hot and sweaty, but with
1326
00:49:15,712 --> 00:49:17,580
handcuffs, a nightstick and...
1327
00:49:17,614 --> 00:49:18,615
pepper spray.
1328
00:49:18,648 --> 00:49:21,685
Ok, pepper spray is too much.
1329
00:49:21,718 --> 00:49:23,086
How are you and Hunter doing?
1330
00:49:23,119 --> 00:49:24,254
Judging by the recent playlist
of
1331
00:49:24,287 --> 00:49:25,255
eighties love songs,
1332
00:49:25,288 --> 00:49:28,425
I'd say it's going pretty well.
1333
00:49:28,458 --> 00:49:29,259
Awww.
1334
00:49:29,292 --> 00:49:30,760
You really are an Easy Bake Oven
away
1335
00:49:30,794 --> 00:49:32,228
from being a twelve year old
girl,
1336
00:49:32,262 --> 00:49:34,364
aren't you?
1337
00:49:34,397 --> 00:49:40,403
Bye love.
1338
00:49:48,378 --> 00:49:49,546
You ok partner?
1339
00:49:49,579 --> 00:49:51,281
I took the new recruits out last
night,
1340
00:49:51,314 --> 00:49:52,349
to O'Malley's.
1341
00:49:52,382 --> 00:49:54,117
I don't know which is worse.
1342
00:49:54,150 --> 00:49:56,252
The gay bars or the Irish ones.
1343
00:49:56,286 --> 00:49:56,886
I guess it depends
1344
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:57,520
on what you're looking for
1345
00:49:57,554 --> 00:49:59,089
at the end of the rainbow.
1346
00:49:59,122 --> 00:50:00,323
At this point I would settle
for
1347
00:50:00,357 --> 00:50:01,691
a well hung Leprechaun.
1348
00:50:01,725 --> 00:50:02,192
That's why I'm glad
1349
00:50:02,225 --> 00:50:03,693
I'm dating again.
1350
00:50:03,727 --> 00:50:05,228
I'm in bed by 10 pm.
1351
00:50:05,261 --> 00:50:07,664
If I'm ever in bed by ten,
1352
00:50:07,697 --> 00:50:08,732
put a bullet in me.
1353
00:50:08,765 --> 00:50:09,766
I'm telling you, these past two
1354
00:50:09,799 --> 00:50:11,334
weeks have been great
1355
00:50:11,368 --> 00:50:13,703
and the sex with Diane is
amazing.
1356
00:50:13,737 --> 00:50:14,404
Which reminds me,
1357
00:50:14,437 --> 00:50:15,772
I need some more pepper spray.
1358
00:50:15,805 --> 00:50:18,708
I'm not going to ask, besides,
1359
00:50:18,742 --> 00:50:20,210
the image of Diane having sex is
1360
00:50:20,243 --> 00:50:21,244
not something I want
1361
00:50:21,277 --> 00:50:22,512
stuck in my head all day.
1362
00:50:22,545 --> 00:50:23,313
Really?
1363
00:50:23,346 --> 00:50:25,548
Because I do.
1364
00:50:25,582 --> 00:50:26,716
Speaking of which, it's been
two
1365
00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,318
weeks for Myles and his
boyfriend.
1366
00:50:28,351 --> 00:50:30,086
I know because I'm patiently
waiting
1367
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:31,521
for him to get dumped again.
1368
00:50:31,554 --> 00:50:33,223
That's the kind of postive,
healthy
1369
00:50:33,256 --> 00:50:34,557
support a best friend deserves.
1370
00:50:34,591 --> 00:50:36,559
Hey, I'm just waiting in the
wings
1371
00:50:36,593 --> 00:50:37,627
like I always do for when he
gets
1372
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:39,562
his heart broken again.
1373
00:50:39,596 --> 00:50:40,430
Face it.
1374
00:50:40,463 --> 00:50:42,265
You miss him.
1375
00:50:42,298 --> 00:50:43,633
You don't know what you're
1376
00:50:43,666 --> 00:50:44,801
talking about.
1377
00:50:44,834 --> 00:50:46,770
If you say so, but I do know
this:
1378
00:50:46,803 --> 00:50:48,838
if he were my friend and I
missed him,
1379
00:50:48,872 --> 00:50:50,306
I'd grab a couple of beers,
1380
00:50:50,340 --> 00:50:51,641
some Chinese food
1381
00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,543
and go over to his place after
work.
1382
00:50:53,576 --> 00:50:55,345
Well, you're not me
1383
00:50:55,378 --> 00:51:01,317
and I don't need your advice.
1384
00:51:03,887 --> 00:51:05,488
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1385
00:51:05,522 --> 00:51:08,158
Come in.
1386
00:51:08,191 --> 00:51:09,192
Oh hey.
1387
00:51:09,225 --> 00:51:10,326
Brody.
1388
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,561
I thought it would be nice
1389
00:51:11,594 --> 00:51:13,463
if I surprised you with dinner.
1390
00:51:13,496 --> 00:51:15,632
That's actually a really nice
surprise,
1391
00:51:15,665 --> 00:51:17,600
but I already have plans.
1392
00:51:17,634 --> 00:51:19,436
I can see you have plans.
1393
00:51:19,469 --> 00:51:20,770
Are you having Liberace over
1394
00:51:20,804 --> 00:51:21,771
for dinner?
1395
00:51:21,805 --> 00:51:23,206
What is this?
1396
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:24,140
It's Hunter's first time
1397
00:51:24,174 --> 00:51:26,276
coming over tonight.
1398
00:51:26,309 --> 00:51:29,746
I wanted to do something
special.
1399
00:51:29,779 --> 00:51:33,516
Well, we can do something
another night.
1400
00:51:33,550 --> 00:51:35,919
You know you don't have to go.
1401
00:51:35,952 --> 00:51:37,587
You could join us if you want.
1402
00:51:37,620 --> 00:51:38,288
Don't be ridiculous.
1403
00:51:38,321 --> 00:51:40,790
You know I don't do threesomes.
1404
00:51:40,824 --> 00:51:46,429
Since when?
1405
00:51:46,463 --> 00:51:47,831
It's too much, isn't it.
1406
00:51:47,864 --> 00:51:48,698
What?
1407
00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:52,235
No it's ridiculous and
over-the-top,
1408
00:51:52,268 --> 00:51:53,436
but it's you and that's what I
1409
00:51:53,470 --> 00:51:55,638
think is so nice about it.
1410
00:51:55,672 --> 00:51:57,440
Other guys may find it
terrifying,
1411
00:51:57,474 --> 00:52:01,644
but I think it's wonderful.
1412
00:52:01,678 --> 00:52:03,179
You like that about me?
1413
00:52:03,213 --> 00:52:04,614
What that you're a psycho?
1414
00:52:04,647 --> 00:52:10,653
Yes, it makes me feel more
normal.
1415
00:52:10,687 --> 00:52:12,322
Look finish getting ready and
1416
00:52:12,355 --> 00:52:14,724
we'll do something tomorrow.
1417
00:52:14,757 --> 00:52:17,727
Happy hour?
1418
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:18,795
See you tomorrow.
1419
00:52:18,828 --> 00:52:24,801
Later!
1420
00:52:47,257 --> 00:52:53,229
(PHONE BEEPS)
1421
00:52:53,997 --> 00:52:56,799
Hello Stone.
1422
00:52:56,833 --> 00:53:02,839
I'll see you in five minutes.
1423
00:53:28,398 --> 00:53:29,499
Hey Brody.
1424
00:53:29,532 --> 00:53:31,267
Stone.
1425
00:53:31,301 --> 00:53:32,936
Come on in, have a drink.
1426
00:53:32,969 --> 00:53:34,637
I can see you've done this
before.
1427
00:53:34,671 --> 00:53:36,839
Maybe once or twice.
1428
00:53:36,873 --> 00:53:39,442
So, how do you want to do this?
1429
00:53:39,475 --> 00:53:40,443
Quickly.
1430
00:53:40,476 --> 00:53:41,911
I have dinner in an hour.
1431
00:53:41,945 --> 00:53:45,682
I'm fine with being an
appetizer.
1432
00:53:45,715 --> 00:53:46,516
Just so you know,
1433
00:53:46,549 --> 00:53:52,288
you're going to be late for
dessert.
1434
00:53:52,322 --> 00:53:58,261
Fine by me.
1435
00:54:00,063 --> 00:54:03,833
(PHONE BUZZING)
1436
00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:04,801
Ignore it.
1437
00:54:04,834 --> 00:54:05,802
It's probably my date tonight.
1438
00:54:05,835 --> 00:54:07,003
He's obsessive compulsive.
1439
00:54:07,036 --> 00:54:08,037
How annoying.
1440
00:54:08,071 --> 00:54:13,309
I know, right?
1441
00:54:13,343 --> 00:54:14,477
I'm sorry, I can't.
1442
00:54:14,510 --> 00:54:15,812
Just get it.
1443
00:54:15,845 --> 00:54:21,551
I'll send it to voicemail.
1444
00:54:21,584 --> 00:54:23,920
Oh!! Please tell me
1445
00:54:23,953 --> 00:54:25,588
your name is not Hunter.
1446
00:54:25,622 --> 00:54:28,725
No, of course it's not.
1447
00:54:28,758 --> 00:54:30,493
Thank god.
1448
00:54:30,526 --> 00:54:31,728
Hunter's my hook-up name,
1449
00:54:31,761 --> 00:54:33,062
like "Stone".
1450
00:54:33,096 --> 00:54:34,864
Oh, Fuck me!
1451
00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:37,934
Sure, if you want me to be on
top.
1452
00:54:37,967 --> 00:54:38,968
No.
1453
00:54:39,002 --> 00:54:40,837
As in God-damn it.
1454
00:54:40,870 --> 00:54:42,472
What's the problem?
1455
00:54:42,505 --> 00:54:44,007
Oh Man, I really wanted you to
1456
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,708
turn out to be a good guy.
1457
00:54:45,742 --> 00:54:48,711
I am a good guy.
1458
00:54:48,745 --> 00:54:49,545
Well,
1459
00:54:49,579 --> 00:54:51,114
maybe not marriage material,
but...
1460
00:54:51,147 --> 00:54:55,685
I gotta go.
1461
00:54:55,718 --> 00:54:57,387
Dude, chill out!
1462
00:54:57,420 --> 00:54:58,888
This is not a big deal.
1463
00:54:58,921 --> 00:55:00,390
Actually it is.
1464
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:01,924
Myles is my best friend
1465
00:55:01,958 --> 00:55:03,593
and he's going to freak out
1466
00:55:03,626 --> 00:55:04,460
when he finds out
1467
00:55:04,494 --> 00:55:05,995
that I hooked up with his
boyfriend.
1468
00:55:06,029 --> 00:55:07,030
Boyfriend?
1469
00:55:07,063 --> 00:55:08,898
We're not boyfriends.
1470
00:55:08,931 --> 00:55:09,632
Myles is a nice guy
1471
00:55:09,666 --> 00:55:10,733
and a decent lay,
1472
00:55:10,767 --> 00:55:12,869
but that's about where it ends.
1473
00:55:12,902 --> 00:55:14,937
Don't make me knock you out.
1474
00:55:14,971 --> 00:55:16,973
Hey, you're in my house,
remember?
1475
00:55:17,006 --> 00:55:17,907
Ok, look.
1476
00:55:17,940 --> 00:55:19,075
This is how this is going to go.
1477
00:55:19,108 --> 00:55:21,611
You go have dinner with Myles
and
1478
00:55:21,644 --> 00:55:23,046
you don't say anything about
this.
1479
00:55:23,079 --> 00:55:25,448
This never happened.
1480
00:55:25,481 --> 00:55:26,149
You know what,
1481
00:55:26,182 --> 00:55:26,649
I really think you should leave.
1482
00:55:26,683 --> 00:55:28,418
I'm serious, now!
1483
00:55:28,451 --> 00:55:29,552
I'm not done here.
1484
00:55:29,585 --> 00:55:30,486
Yeah you are,
1485
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,388
and if you don't leave I'll call
the cops.
1486
00:55:32,422 --> 00:55:34,824
I'm a cop.
1487
00:55:34,857 --> 00:55:35,458
Yeah.
1488
00:55:35,491 --> 00:55:36,092
Well if that's the case,
1489
00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:37,460
then I'll just call Myles
1490
00:55:37,493 --> 00:55:38,828
and tell him I hooked up
1491
00:55:38,861 --> 00:55:40,963
with his best friend...the cop.
1492
00:55:40,997 --> 00:55:43,833
Ok, calm down.
1493
00:55:43,866 --> 00:55:45,702
I'll go, but I need you to
promise
1494
00:55:45,735 --> 00:55:46,269
that you're not going to be an
1495
00:55:46,302 --> 00:55:47,937
asshole to Myles, ok?
1496
00:55:47,970 --> 00:55:49,572
Just go have dinner with him,
1497
00:55:49,605 --> 00:55:50,606
don't say anything about this.
1498
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,609
I am asking you nicely.
1499
00:55:53,643 --> 00:55:54,777
See?
1500
00:55:54,811 --> 00:55:56,412
Now you're being a good boy.
1501
00:55:56,446 --> 00:55:57,080
Just so you know,
1502
00:55:57,113 --> 00:55:58,147
I'll do what I want.
1503
00:55:58,181 --> 00:55:59,582
And I'll start with throwing you
out.
1504
00:55:59,615 --> 00:56:01,417
Got it?
1505
00:56:01,451 --> 00:56:02,485
I got it.
1506
00:56:02,518 --> 00:56:03,352
Good.
1507
00:56:03,386 --> 00:56:05,655
I'm glad we're on the same page
again.
1508
00:56:05,688 --> 00:56:09,158
Now leave!
1509
00:56:09,192 --> 00:56:09,992
Asshole.
1510
00:56:10,026 --> 00:56:16,032
Asshole.
1511
00:56:20,603 --> 00:56:26,576
(PHONE BEEPS)
1512
00:56:57,874 --> 00:57:03,880
(PHONE RINGING)
1513
00:57:14,657 --> 00:57:18,094
Hey Myles.
1514
00:57:18,127 --> 00:57:22,031
Hunter broke up with me.
1515
00:57:22,064 --> 00:57:22,999
Awe.
1516
00:57:23,032 --> 00:57:27,603
I'm so sorry, Myles.
1517
00:57:27,637 --> 00:57:30,540
Could you come over?
1518
00:57:30,573 --> 00:57:34,544
Death by chocolate?
1519
00:57:34,577 --> 00:57:39,182
Death by homemade tiramisu.
1520
00:57:39,215 --> 00:57:45,221
I'll be right there.
1521
00:57:47,290 --> 00:57:49,192
One day, you are going to find a
guy
1522
00:57:49,225 --> 00:57:51,828
who see's what a great catch you
are.
1523
00:57:51,861 --> 00:57:52,662
You are going to make someone
1524
00:57:52,695 --> 00:57:56,232
the best husband.
1525
00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:58,568
What about you?
1526
00:57:58,601 --> 00:58:00,703
I am not a catch.
1527
00:58:00,736 --> 00:58:01,671
Well that's not true.
1528
00:58:01,704 --> 00:58:03,206
Yes, it is.
1529
00:58:03,239 --> 00:58:06,676
Look, I'm not like you.
1530
00:58:06,709 --> 00:58:08,845
Anybody who would pass up an
1531
00:58:08,878 --> 00:58:11,314
amazing evening like this,
1532
00:58:11,347 --> 00:58:17,053
with you, is a fool.
1533
00:58:17,086 --> 00:58:18,254
Well, I'm obviously doing
1534
00:58:18,287 --> 00:58:19,989
something wrong.
1535
00:58:20,022 --> 00:58:21,791
You have lousy taste in men.
1536
00:58:21,824 --> 00:58:23,626
Take Hunter...
1537
00:58:23,659 --> 00:58:24,560
Let's not talk about him.
1538
00:58:24,594 --> 00:58:25,261
I think we should...
1539
00:58:25,294 --> 00:58:26,295
I really don't want to.
1540
00:58:26,329 --> 00:58:32,535
Let me finish.
1541
00:58:33,769 --> 00:58:34,637
Anybody who would break up with
1542
00:58:34,670 --> 00:58:36,639
you in a text is a creep
1543
00:58:36,672 --> 00:58:38,040
and not worth your time.
1544
00:58:38,074 --> 00:58:40,042
You think I don't know that?
1545
00:58:40,076 --> 00:58:42,345
I didn't even text him back.
1546
00:58:42,378 --> 00:58:43,179
I'm sick of being mistreated
1547
00:58:43,212 --> 00:58:44,080
by asshole guys
1548
00:58:44,113 --> 00:58:46,883
who don't appreciate me.
1549
00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:50,052
Good for you Myles.
1550
00:58:50,086 --> 00:58:54,590
Now, can we just move on?
1551
00:58:54,624 --> 00:58:55,591
Let's just enjoy the fact that
1552
00:58:55,625 --> 00:58:56,726
we're hanging out together.
1553
00:58:56,759 --> 00:58:57,894
Yes.
1554
00:58:57,927 --> 00:58:59,195
Let's make tonight about this
1555
00:58:59,228 --> 00:59:01,597
amazing tiramisu that you made.
1556
00:59:01,631 --> 00:59:05,635
- And us.
- And us.
1557
00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:16,045
So, run this by me one more
time.
1558
00:59:16,078 --> 00:59:16,679
Why didn't you tell him what
1559
00:59:16,712 --> 00:59:19,248
happened the other night?
1560
00:59:19,282 --> 00:59:21,250
I just couldn't.
1561
00:59:21,284 --> 00:59:22,385
If you knew Myles and how upset
it
1562
00:59:22,418 --> 00:59:23,185
would make him, trust me,
1563
00:59:23,219 --> 00:59:24,854
you wouldn't have told him
either.
1564
00:59:24,887 --> 00:59:27,256
Actually, yes, I would have.
1565
00:59:27,290 --> 00:59:29,659
Myles can't handle these
things.
1566
00:59:29,692 --> 00:59:30,493
He's a grown man.
1567
00:59:30,526 --> 00:59:32,795
Yeah, on the outside maybe but
on
1568
00:59:32,828 --> 00:59:36,165
the inside he's all...Hello
Kitty.
1569
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,767
He's never going to find out.
1570
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:39,068
That's not how it works.
1571
00:59:39,101 --> 00:59:41,370
Trust me, they always find out.
1572
00:59:41,404 --> 00:59:42,805
And even if they don't, you'll
1573
00:59:42,838 --> 00:59:43,739
always think in the back of your
1574
00:59:43,773 --> 00:59:44,774
head that they know something,
1575
00:59:44,807 --> 00:59:46,008
but just aren't saying anything.
1576
00:59:46,042 --> 00:59:46,709
Does someone have a little
1577
00:59:46,742 --> 00:59:47,343
baggage from a past relationship
1578
00:59:47,376 --> 00:59:49,779
they want to talk about?
1579
00:59:49,812 --> 00:59:51,380
Let's just say, I had to learn
the hard way.
1580
00:59:51,414 --> 00:59:52,381
Fine.
1581
00:59:52,415 --> 00:59:57,119
I'll talk to him tonight.
1582
00:59:57,153 --> 00:59:57,920
Ok?
1583
00:59:57,954 --> 00:59:59,655
Alright.
1584
00:59:59,689 --> 01:00:05,695
♪
1585
01:00:08,764 --> 01:00:10,066
How you doing?
1586
01:00:10,099 --> 01:00:11,367
I liked him.
1587
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:12,802
He was a great guy.
1588
01:00:12,835 --> 01:00:14,770
He wasn't that great.
1589
01:00:14,804 --> 01:00:16,205
Hi Brody... Martini?
1590
01:00:16,238 --> 01:00:17,039
No thanks.
1591
01:00:17,073 --> 01:00:18,274
I'm probably just going to get
it
1592
01:00:18,307 --> 01:00:21,077
thrown in my face.
1593
01:00:21,110 --> 01:00:22,178
What did you do?
1594
01:00:22,211 --> 01:00:23,245
Can I just start off by saying
1595
01:00:23,279 --> 01:00:26,415
that it was not my fault.
1596
01:00:26,449 --> 01:00:27,917
That is the worst way
1597
01:00:27,950 --> 01:00:28,951
to start a conversation.
1598
01:00:28,985 --> 01:00:30,252
That's like saying,
1599
01:00:30,286 --> 01:00:32,054
"I know this looks bad", or,
1600
01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:34,090
"This is just going to hurt a
little bit."
1601
01:00:34,123 --> 01:00:34,790
I can tell already,
1602
01:00:34,824 --> 01:00:37,326
this is not going to end well.
1603
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:38,394
I've known you for over ten
years.
1604
01:00:38,427 --> 01:00:39,195
Nothing you say is going to
1605
01:00:39,228 --> 01:00:41,397
bother me or surprise me
anymore.
1606
01:00:41,430 --> 01:00:43,432
So just tell me.
1607
01:00:43,466 --> 01:00:47,169
I ran Hunter's ID down at the
station.
1608
01:00:47,203 --> 01:00:48,838
His real name is Steven Adams.
1609
01:00:48,871 --> 01:00:50,906
He's from Nebraska.
1610
01:00:50,940 --> 01:00:52,008
Well, I know where he's from.
1611
01:00:52,041 --> 01:00:53,376
I didn't know his name wasn't
Hunter.
1612
01:00:53,409 --> 01:00:55,277
Yeah and it's not Stone either.
1613
01:00:55,311 --> 01:00:56,345
That's my point.
1614
01:00:56,379 --> 01:00:57,346
What's the point?
1615
01:00:57,380 --> 01:00:58,080
And who is Stone?
1616
01:00:58,114 --> 01:00:58,914
Exactly!
1617
01:00:58,948 --> 01:01:00,750
Neither of us knew his real
name.
1618
01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:04,987
Just tell me what happened.
1619
01:01:05,021 --> 01:01:06,822
After I left your place the
other night,
1620
01:01:06,856 --> 01:01:12,862
I went on Grindr to meet
someone.
1621
01:01:13,062 --> 01:01:14,063
You hooked up with Hunter?
1622
01:01:14,096 --> 01:01:15,364
I didn't know it was him!
1623
01:01:15,398 --> 01:01:16,866
He said his name was Stone.
1624
01:01:16,899 --> 01:01:18,300
I mean, who uses that name
anyway.
1625
01:01:18,334 --> 01:01:19,335
He texted me on Grindr,
1626
01:01:19,368 --> 01:01:20,302
I went over there.
1627
01:01:20,336 --> 01:01:21,871
I did not know what I was doing
1628
01:01:21,904 --> 01:01:22,838
was wrong.
1629
01:01:22,872 --> 01:01:24,240
I would never do that to you.
1630
01:01:24,273 --> 01:01:24,940
You suck.
1631
01:01:24,974 --> 01:01:25,908
How was I supposed to know?
1632
01:01:25,941 --> 01:01:27,910
It's not like you introduced me
to the guy.
1633
01:01:27,943 --> 01:01:29,311
You're the one that ruined this
for me.
1634
01:01:29,345 --> 01:01:30,980
I met a great guy and you just
1635
01:01:31,013 --> 01:01:32,214
couldn't stand it, could you?
1636
01:01:32,248 --> 01:01:34,517
He is not a great guy, believe
me.
1637
01:01:34,550 --> 01:01:35,785
Certainly not the Prince
Charming
1638
01:01:35,818 --> 01:01:36,786
you think he is.
1639
01:01:36,819 --> 01:01:38,254
Trust me, Hunter is a creep.
1640
01:01:38,287 --> 01:01:41,457
Trust you?
1641
01:01:41,490 --> 01:01:42,858
Think about it Myles.
1642
01:01:42,892 --> 01:01:44,460
It's always the same with with
you.
1643
01:01:44,493 --> 01:01:45,961
You bring this on yourself.
1644
01:01:45,995 --> 01:01:48,130
You keep thinking that one guy
is
1645
01:01:48,164 --> 01:01:49,331
going to be exactly what you
need
1646
01:01:49,365 --> 01:01:50,933
to be happy.
1647
01:01:50,966 --> 01:01:57,006
It is not the case, never will
be.
1648
01:01:57,039 --> 01:02:00,409
Well, sadly that's true isn't
it?
1649
01:02:00,443 --> 01:02:02,445
You're right, things have got to
change.
1650
01:02:02,478 --> 01:02:03,145
I gotta to go,
1651
01:02:03,179 --> 01:02:04,547
sorry I can't do this anymore.
1652
01:02:04,580 --> 01:02:06,048
Wait, what?
1653
01:02:06,082 --> 01:02:11,353
One martini. Dirty.
1654
01:02:11,387 --> 01:02:13,289
Myles.
1655
01:02:13,322 --> 01:02:19,328
Myles.
1656
01:02:28,237 --> 01:02:29,438
Look at this guy.
1657
01:02:29,472 --> 01:02:30,473
He didn't even attempt to slow
1658
01:02:30,506 --> 01:02:32,808
down when he saw us.
1659
01:02:32,842 --> 01:02:33,909
So light him up!
1660
01:02:33,943 --> 01:02:35,044
He was only going forty.
1661
01:02:35,077 --> 01:02:36,512
He's speeding right in front of
us.
1662
01:02:36,545 --> 01:02:38,214
People need to learn to respect
authority.
1663
01:02:38,247 --> 01:02:39,115
Light him up!
1664
01:02:39,148 --> 01:02:40,149
It's not a big deal.
1665
01:02:40,182 --> 01:02:42,885
I said, let's get them!
1666
01:02:42,918 --> 01:02:44,220
So now you're that asshole cop
who
1667
01:02:44,253 --> 01:02:45,855
chases down an '87 Corolla for
going
1668
01:02:45,888 --> 01:02:47,857
fifteen miles over the speed
limit?
1669
01:02:47,890 --> 01:02:50,926
Yes.
1670
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:51,594
You really need to straighten
1671
01:02:51,627 --> 01:02:53,329
this thing out with Myles.
1672
01:02:53,362 --> 01:02:55,898
I've tried calling, texting,
emailing him.
1673
01:02:55,931 --> 01:02:56,499
He obviously doesn't want
1674
01:02:56,532 --> 01:02:58,868
to talk to me.
1675
01:02:58,901 --> 01:02:59,869
I may not be the smartest guy in
the
1676
01:02:59,902 --> 01:03:01,203
world but I can take a hint when
1677
01:03:01,237 --> 01:03:02,238
someone doesn't want to see me.
1678
01:03:02,271 --> 01:03:03,305
You have to go over there
1679
01:03:03,339 --> 01:03:04,140
and work this out.
1680
01:03:04,173 --> 01:03:06,342
Knock his door down if you have
to.
1681
01:03:06,375 --> 01:03:08,377
He doesn't want to talk to me.
1682
01:03:08,410 --> 01:03:10,045
You're a cop for Christ's sake.
1683
01:03:10,079 --> 01:03:10,913
Pull your balls out of your ass
1684
01:03:10,946 --> 01:03:12,548
and man up.
1685
01:03:12,581 --> 01:03:13,883
You miss him.
1686
01:03:13,916 --> 01:03:16,986
Make it right.
1687
01:03:17,019 --> 01:03:23,025
Fine.
1688
01:03:27,129 --> 01:03:29,899
Myles, open up.
1689
01:03:29,932 --> 01:03:31,033
Myles, come on, open up.
1690
01:03:31,066 --> 01:03:31,934
I need you to open up,
1691
01:03:31,967 --> 01:03:33,569
just talk to me.
1692
01:03:33,602 --> 01:03:34,637
Knock one more time and I'm
1693
01:03:34,670 --> 01:03:40,843
calling the cops.
1694
01:03:42,244 --> 01:03:44,280
Officer.
1695
01:03:44,313 --> 01:03:45,581
Under-cover, huh?
1696
01:03:45,614 --> 01:03:47,149
A sting operation.
1697
01:03:47,183 --> 01:03:48,450
I get it.
1698
01:03:48,484 --> 01:03:50,186
Still after Myles?
1699
01:03:50,219 --> 01:03:51,153
Have you seen him?
1700
01:03:51,187 --> 01:03:52,454
Nope.
1701
01:03:52,488 --> 01:03:53,956
What did he do?
1702
01:03:53,989 --> 01:03:55,524
He didn't do anything.
1703
01:03:55,558 --> 01:03:58,093
It's always the quiet ones.
1704
01:03:58,127 --> 01:04:00,462
I knew he was a bad seed.
1705
01:04:00,496 --> 01:04:03,132
That isn't the case, sir.
1706
01:04:03,165 --> 01:04:05,100
Of course you can't say
anything.
1707
01:04:05,134 --> 01:04:07,670
I know what's going on.
1708
01:04:07,703 --> 01:04:08,904
I just hope you get the
1709
01:04:08,938 --> 01:04:14,944
son-of-a bitch!
1710
01:04:20,282 --> 01:04:22,218
Myles.
1711
01:04:22,251 --> 01:04:26,322
Come on.
1712
01:04:26,355 --> 01:04:28,357
Myles.
1713
01:04:28,390 --> 01:04:32,194
♪
1714
01:04:32,228 --> 01:04:34,230
Pizza, wings and beer.
1715
01:04:34,263 --> 01:04:39,201
Who needs men?
1716
01:04:39,235 --> 01:04:41,971
We'll have more fun without
them.
1717
01:04:42,004 --> 01:04:42,671
No we won't.
1718
01:04:42,705 --> 01:04:45,941
You're right.
1719
01:04:45,975 --> 01:04:46,575
I'll try not to bitch about
1720
01:04:46,609 --> 01:04:48,110
how much men suck tonight.
1721
01:04:48,143 --> 01:04:49,311
Why?
1722
01:04:49,345 --> 01:04:51,447
It's my favorite subject.
1723
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:52,348
Luckily for you I have the
perfect
1724
01:04:52,381 --> 01:04:53,649
evening planned.
1725
01:04:53,682 --> 01:04:58,621
Comfort food, ice cream and...
1726
01:04:58,654 --> 01:05:00,556
a romantic movie.
1727
01:05:00,589 --> 01:05:02,491
I love that we are doing this.
1728
01:05:02,524 --> 01:05:03,692
I do it every day.
1729
01:05:03,726 --> 01:05:05,060
What about RIchard?
1730
01:05:05,094 --> 01:05:06,095
Are you kidding?
1731
01:05:06,128 --> 01:05:07,196
It's his favorite thing.
1732
01:05:07,229 --> 01:05:09,031
Two bowls of pistachio froyo,
1733
01:05:09,064 --> 01:05:10,666
twin snuggies and a romantic
movie.
1734
01:05:10,699 --> 01:05:13,202
We cry all night long.
1735
01:05:13,235 --> 01:05:14,403
Lucky bitch.
1736
01:05:14,436 --> 01:05:18,574
I know.
1737
01:05:18,607 --> 01:05:20,609
Diane, I need to tell you
something.
1738
01:05:20,643 --> 01:05:22,611
Please don't be upset.
1739
01:05:22,645 --> 01:05:23,712
Any conversation that begins
with,
1740
01:05:23,746 --> 01:05:27,416
"please don't be upset", upsets
me.
1741
01:05:27,449 --> 01:05:29,318
I need to start fresh.
1742
01:05:29,351 --> 01:05:32,121
Get somewhere far away from
here.
1743
01:05:32,154 --> 01:05:33,722
You're moving to the Valley?
1744
01:05:33,756 --> 01:05:35,157
No, I'm thinking of
transferring
1745
01:05:35,190 --> 01:05:36,759
to the New York office.
1746
01:05:36,792 --> 01:05:38,060
There's a job opening there
1747
01:05:38,093 --> 01:05:40,029
for a senior litigator
1748
01:05:40,062 --> 01:05:41,263
that starts next week.
1749
01:05:41,297 --> 01:05:42,231
I know you're not going
1750
01:05:42,264 --> 01:05:43,032
to agree with this...
1751
01:05:43,065 --> 01:05:45,167
You want to leave
1752
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:47,436
and move to New York?
1753
01:05:47,469 --> 01:05:49,705
We both know I should go.
1754
01:05:49,738 --> 01:05:50,639
Actually, we don't.
1755
01:05:50,673 --> 01:05:51,607
I think you're running away
1756
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:52,675
from your problems.
1757
01:05:52,708 --> 01:05:53,342
Please don't make this any
harder
1758
01:05:53,375 --> 01:05:54,777
for me than it already is.
1759
01:05:54,810 --> 01:05:56,211
I really need to do this.
1760
01:05:56,245 --> 01:05:58,113
No you don't!
1761
01:05:58,147 --> 01:06:00,449
It's an irrational, impetuous
and
1762
01:06:00,482 --> 01:06:02,384
totally emotionally clouded
decision.
1763
01:06:02,418 --> 01:06:04,119
I need to break this cycle and
I
1764
01:06:04,153 --> 01:06:09,491
can't do it from Los Angeles.
1765
01:06:09,525 --> 01:06:11,593
Fine.
1766
01:06:11,627 --> 01:06:13,062
I'll concede.
1767
01:06:13,095 --> 01:06:15,631
But only under one condition.
1768
01:06:15,664 --> 01:06:17,700
Let the negotiations begin.
1769
01:06:17,733 --> 01:06:18,701
You have to let me have a going
1770
01:06:18,734 --> 01:06:20,369
away party for you this weekend.
1771
01:06:20,402 --> 01:06:21,136
Absolutely not.
1772
01:06:21,170 --> 01:06:22,071
No party.
1773
01:06:22,104 --> 01:06:23,138
Just a few friends over for
1774
01:06:23,172 --> 01:06:23,739
drinks at my place?
1775
01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:24,640
No more than six.
1776
01:06:24,673 --> 01:06:30,679
Deal.
1777
01:06:33,182 --> 01:06:33,849
So how are you going to tell
1778
01:06:33,882 --> 01:06:34,483
Brody that you're moving to the
1779
01:06:34,516 --> 01:06:40,456
other side of the country?
1780
01:06:42,224 --> 01:06:46,795
I don't know yet.
1781
01:06:46,829 --> 01:06:53,035
I could have Richard do it.
1782
01:06:56,171 --> 01:07:02,144
Brody.
1783
01:07:03,545 --> 01:07:09,518
And to think he's a cop.
1784
01:07:13,422 --> 01:07:19,428
(TELEVISION SOUNDS)
1785
01:07:27,169 --> 01:07:28,103
If you were a horse.
1786
01:07:28,137 --> 01:07:33,142
I'd be obliged to put you down.
1787
01:07:33,175 --> 01:07:34,109
What time is it?
1788
01:07:34,143 --> 01:07:35,377
Am I late?
1789
01:07:35,411 --> 01:07:37,279
Let's just say you're early for
lunch.
1790
01:07:37,312 --> 01:07:40,549
Why don't you get in the shower?
1791
01:07:40,582 --> 01:07:43,485
So, how long is this going to go
on?
1792
01:07:43,519 --> 01:07:44,853
Just give me five minutes
1793
01:07:44,887 --> 01:07:47,122
to take a shower, ok?
1794
01:07:47,156 --> 01:07:47,823
Not the shower.
1795
01:07:47,856 --> 01:07:48,891
The self-pity and depression.
1796
01:07:48,924 --> 01:07:51,360
It's been every night this week.
1797
01:07:51,393 --> 01:07:52,594
Hey, I've finally found
something
1798
01:07:52,628 --> 01:07:53,495
I'm good at.
1799
01:07:53,529 --> 01:07:57,166
Why quit when I've almost
mastered it?
1800
01:07:57,199 --> 01:07:58,600
Well, since you're already
down,
1801
01:07:58,634 --> 01:08:00,536
I've got something else for you.
1802
01:08:00,569 --> 01:08:02,771
It's an invitation.
1803
01:08:02,805 --> 01:08:04,373
From who?
1804
01:08:04,406 --> 01:08:05,607
Diane.
1805
01:08:05,641 --> 01:08:10,145
She's having a few people over.
1806
01:08:10,179 --> 01:08:11,647
Is Myles going to be there?
1807
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:12,881
Yep.
1808
01:08:12,915 --> 01:08:14,550
This is the perfect opportunity
for
1809
01:08:14,583 --> 01:08:17,586
me to smooth things out with
Myles.
1810
01:08:17,619 --> 01:08:21,290
In theory.
1811
01:08:21,323 --> 01:08:23,158
Was this Diane's idea?
1812
01:08:23,192 --> 01:08:25,861
Absolutely.
1813
01:08:25,894 --> 01:08:27,329
So you'll come?
1814
01:08:27,362 --> 01:08:28,263
Hell yeah.
1815
01:08:28,297 --> 01:08:34,169
Now I got something to look
forward to.
1816
01:08:34,203 --> 01:08:40,175
Me too.
1817
01:08:41,877 --> 01:08:46,748
♪
1818
01:08:46,782 --> 01:08:48,884
I kept it small like you
wanted.
1819
01:08:48,917 --> 01:08:50,752
I asked you not to do anything.
1820
01:08:50,786 --> 01:08:53,522
This was my compromise.
1821
01:08:53,555 --> 01:08:54,923
I'll miss you.
1822
01:08:54,957 --> 01:08:56,892
I'm well aware.
1823
01:08:56,925 --> 01:08:58,694
I still can't believe you're
doing this.
1824
01:08:58,727 --> 01:09:00,195
Five days on the open road will
1825
01:09:00,229 --> 01:09:02,331
do me good.
1826
01:09:02,364 --> 01:09:03,565
Wait until you hit Nevada.
1827
01:09:03,599 --> 01:09:04,399
You're going to regret that
decision
1828
01:09:04,433 --> 01:09:06,301
all the way to the Statue of
Liberty.
1829
01:09:06,335 --> 01:09:07,269
Brody's here.
1830
01:09:07,302 --> 01:09:07,870
I'll be in the bomb shelter
1831
01:09:07,903 --> 01:09:08,670
if anyone's needs me.
1832
01:09:08,704 --> 01:09:10,205
Oh no, you're not going
anywhere.
1833
01:09:10,239 --> 01:09:10,839
We need someone
1834
01:09:10,873 --> 01:09:12,641
who can operate a handgun.
1835
01:09:12,674 --> 01:09:14,610
Hey!
1836
01:09:14,643 --> 01:09:17,212
Thank you so much for inviting
me.
1837
01:09:17,246 --> 01:09:18,247
It's good to see you.
1838
01:09:18,280 --> 01:09:19,982
So, what's the occasion?
1839
01:09:20,015 --> 01:09:26,221
You got a promotion, right?
1840
01:09:26,655 --> 01:09:28,724
Richard, will you help me dear?
1841
01:09:28,757 --> 01:09:30,826
Oh, and bring a shovel.
1842
01:09:30,859 --> 01:09:31,627
Would you excuse us?
1843
01:09:31,660 --> 01:09:32,461
He's going to be very busy
digging
1844
01:09:32,494 --> 01:09:37,933
a six by three foot hole out
back.
1845
01:09:37,966 --> 01:09:40,502
What was that about?
1846
01:09:40,536 --> 01:09:41,436
It's just that this isn't
exactly
1847
01:09:41,470 --> 01:09:43,472
a party for my promotion.
1848
01:09:43,505 --> 01:09:45,774
So, you didn't get a promotion?
1849
01:09:45,807 --> 01:09:47,409
I technically did, I guess you
1850
01:09:47,442 --> 01:09:48,844
could say that.
1851
01:09:48,877 --> 01:09:50,746
Well, congrats!
1852
01:09:50,779 --> 01:09:53,682
It's also a going away party.
1853
01:09:53,715 --> 01:09:59,655
For who?
1854
01:09:59,688 --> 01:10:04,760
Oh, you're leaving.
1855
01:10:04,793 --> 01:10:08,363
Where? When?
1856
01:10:08,397 --> 01:10:10,766
I head out on Saturday morning.
1857
01:10:10,799 --> 01:10:13,802
Drive across country to New
York.
1858
01:10:13,835 --> 01:10:17,406
Saturday to New York and this
is
1859
01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:18,907
how you tell me?
1860
01:10:18,941 --> 01:10:20,309
Well Richard was going to tell
you.
1861
01:10:20,342 --> 01:10:23,812
You asked Richard to tell me?
1862
01:10:23,845 --> 01:10:28,917
Diane did.
1863
01:10:28,951 --> 01:10:30,686
How could you leave and not say
1864
01:10:30,719 --> 01:10:33,021
anything to me?
1865
01:10:33,055 --> 01:10:34,389
I haven't left yet.
1866
01:10:34,423 --> 01:10:37,893
Yeah, but you're planning on it
Myles.
1867
01:10:37,926 --> 01:10:38,594
Why?
1868
01:10:38,627 --> 01:10:39,695
Because I don't have a reason
1869
01:10:39,728 --> 01:10:42,397
to stay anymore.
1870
01:10:42,431 --> 01:10:46,668
I'm not a good enough reason?
1871
01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:49,037
You tell me, Brody.
1872
01:10:49,071 --> 01:10:50,472
If this is about the Hunter
thing,
1873
01:10:50,505 --> 01:10:52,441
I told you I did not mean
1874
01:10:52,474 --> 01:10:53,275
to mess it up for you.
1875
01:10:53,308 --> 01:10:55,811
I was just trying to protect
you.
1876
01:10:55,844 --> 01:10:56,545
I know that
1877
01:10:56,578 --> 01:10:58,313
and I'm not mad about it
anymore.
1878
01:10:58,347 --> 01:10:59,615
I'm the reason I need to leave.
1879
01:10:59,648 --> 01:11:02,584
I need to grow up and stop
looking for
1880
01:11:02,618 --> 01:11:04,686
my Prince Charming to come and
save me.
1881
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:05,654
That is what I've been telling
1882
01:11:05,687 --> 01:11:07,356
you the whole time.
1883
01:11:07,389 --> 01:11:12,761
Well then, I agree with you.
1884
01:11:12,794 --> 01:11:15,530
So you think that going to New
York
1885
01:11:15,564 --> 01:11:17,733
is what's going to make you
happy.
1886
01:11:17,766 --> 01:11:20,602
It's a start.
1887
01:11:20,636 --> 01:11:25,841
Well then, I guess that's that.
1888
01:11:25,874 --> 01:11:31,847
I guess so.
1889
01:11:45,394 --> 01:11:51,366
♪
1890
01:11:55,604 --> 01:12:01,610
(PHONE BEEPS)
1891
01:12:32,874 --> 01:12:34,643
Can I get you another?
1892
01:12:34,676 --> 01:12:35,844
No.
1893
01:12:35,877 --> 01:12:41,850
I'm good, thanks.
1894
01:12:47,022 --> 01:12:48,824
I'm mad at you.
1895
01:12:48,857 --> 01:12:50,992
I know,
1896
01:12:51,026 --> 01:12:52,861
but being that I'm your only
friend now
1897
01:12:52,894 --> 01:12:54,796
and your partner at work,
1898
01:12:54,830 --> 01:12:55,897
I think you're going to have to
1899
01:12:55,931 --> 01:13:00,035
get over it pretty quickly.
1900
01:13:00,068 --> 01:13:03,905
You knew that was a going away
party.
1901
01:13:03,939 --> 01:13:06,508
I'm sorry I didn't tell you,
1902
01:13:06,541 --> 01:13:07,209
but I figured you deserved
1903
01:13:07,242 --> 01:13:08,944
to hear it directly from Myles.
1904
01:13:08,977 --> 01:13:10,912
Plus, if I had told you, you
1905
01:13:10,946 --> 01:13:12,180
wouldn't have come to say
goodbye.
1906
01:13:12,214 --> 01:13:14,082
You don't know me.
1907
01:13:14,116 --> 01:13:17,786
It's like we never even met.
1908
01:13:17,819 --> 01:13:19,020
You know, he's right?
1909
01:13:19,054 --> 01:13:20,088
It is better for both of us
1910
01:13:20,122 --> 01:13:22,924
if he just leaves.
1911
01:13:22,958 --> 01:13:25,527
Well, you certainly know what's
best.
1912
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:26,461
I'm not like Myles,
1913
01:13:26,495 --> 01:13:28,230
I don't need anyone.
1914
01:13:28,263 --> 01:13:28,897
It's true.
1915
01:13:28,930 --> 01:13:30,499
You're not miserable at all
1916
01:13:30,532 --> 01:13:32,534
when he's gone.
1917
01:13:32,567 --> 01:13:34,469
Myles is a hopeless romantic.
1918
01:13:34,503 --> 01:13:36,972
All he wants is someone to love
him.
1919
01:13:37,005 --> 01:13:40,008
Yeah, so unreasonable.
1920
01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:41,543
Plus, he's a people pleaser.
1921
01:13:41,576 --> 01:13:44,045
All he cares about is the guy
he's with.
1922
01:13:44,079 --> 01:13:44,913
That's horrible.
1923
01:13:44,946 --> 01:13:46,515
I can see why guys would hate
that.
1924
01:13:46,548 --> 01:13:47,849
Myles is like a penguin.
1925
01:13:47,883 --> 01:13:49,885
He will bond to you,
1926
01:13:49,918 --> 01:13:52,053
he's dependable and trustworthy.
1927
01:13:52,087 --> 01:13:55,557
I'm really starting to hate that
guy.
1928
01:13:55,590 --> 01:13:57,092
I mean, could you imagine if
1929
01:13:57,125 --> 01:13:58,827
Myles and I were together.
1930
01:13:58,860 --> 01:14:00,128
Not at all.
1931
01:14:00,162 --> 01:14:01,797
It's crazy to think that two
1932
01:14:01,830 --> 01:14:03,231
people who care about each other
1933
01:14:03,265 --> 01:14:06,067
as much as you two do would
ever,
1934
01:14:06,101 --> 01:14:09,504
ever want to be in a
relationship.
1935
01:14:09,538 --> 01:14:11,573
I know, right? I mean,
1936
01:14:11,606 --> 01:14:13,575
if Myles were the perfect guy
for me,
1937
01:14:13,608 --> 01:14:15,844
I would have realized that years
ago.
1938
01:14:15,877 --> 01:14:17,078
Absolutely.
1939
01:14:17,112 --> 01:14:18,146
I mean there is no way you'd
overlook
1940
01:14:18,180 --> 01:14:21,817
something so obvious for so
long.
1941
01:14:21,850 --> 01:14:24,186
Exactly.
1942
01:14:24,219 --> 01:14:26,688
Myles just wants to be married.
1943
01:14:26,721 --> 01:14:32,727
And all I want is for him to be
happy.
1944
01:14:34,996 --> 01:14:35,764
Then I guess the only way
1945
01:14:35,797 --> 01:14:37,532
for that to happen
1946
01:14:37,566 --> 01:14:43,104
is to remove you from his life.
1947
01:14:43,138 --> 01:14:49,110
Yeah, I guess.
1948
01:14:51,980 --> 01:14:57,986
♪
1949
01:15:56,411 --> 01:15:59,814
To Brody.
1950
01:15:59,848 --> 01:16:02,250
I hope you find someone to love
you.
1951
01:16:02,284 --> 01:16:08,256
I hope you find someone to
love.
1952
01:16:23,038 --> 01:16:25,240
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
1953
01:16:25,273 --> 01:16:27,642
here today to bear witness to
the
1954
01:16:27,676 --> 01:16:30,712
matrimony of these two men.
1955
01:16:30,745 --> 01:16:33,014
This is a relationship that
stands
1956
01:16:33,048 --> 01:16:38,320
for love and loyalty.
1957
01:16:38,353 --> 01:16:39,854
This is a relationship that
1958
01:16:39,888 --> 01:16:42,991
stands for honesty and trust.
1959
01:16:43,024 --> 01:16:44,926
But most importantly,
1960
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:46,728
this is a relationship
1961
01:16:46,761 --> 01:16:49,064
that stands for friendship.
1962
01:16:49,097 --> 01:16:52,834
Because before they were
lovers,
1963
01:16:52,867 --> 01:16:55,303
they were friends,
1964
01:16:55,337 --> 01:16:57,439
and it is this seed of
friendship
1965
01:16:57,472 --> 01:17:00,342
that love was their destiny.
1966
01:17:00,375 --> 01:17:02,210
One cannot dictate or determine
1967
01:17:02,243 --> 01:17:04,713
the course of love.
1968
01:17:04,746 --> 01:17:07,816
For if love finds you worthy,
1969
01:17:07,849 --> 01:17:12,320
then love directs you.
1970
01:17:12,354 --> 01:17:15,123
It is this sacred and holy
estate
1971
01:17:15,156 --> 01:17:19,327
which you enter into as one.
1972
01:17:19,361 --> 01:17:20,729
And if there is anyone who has
1973
01:17:20,762 --> 01:17:23,832
just cause why these two should
not
1974
01:17:23,865 --> 01:17:27,268
join as one, let him speak now
1975
01:17:27,302 --> 01:17:33,274
or forever hold his peace.
1976
01:17:46,421 --> 01:17:49,290
Do you take this man to love,
1977
01:17:49,324 --> 01:17:51,793
honor and comfort,
1978
01:17:51,826 --> 01:17:54,429
and keep in sickness and in
health,
1979
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,198
in sadness and in joy,
1980
01:17:57,232 --> 01:17:59,501
and cherish and bestow upon him
1981
01:17:59,534 --> 01:18:01,970
your deepest devotion,
1982
01:18:02,003 --> 01:18:05,040
for as long as you both shall
live?
1983
01:18:05,073 --> 01:18:09,878
I do.
1984
01:18:09,911 --> 01:18:14,482
Then, by the power vested in
me,
1985
01:18:14,516 --> 01:18:17,018
I now pronounce you
1986
01:18:17,052 --> 01:18:20,989
husband and husband.
1987
01:18:21,022 --> 01:18:27,028
You may now kiss your groom.
1988
01:18:37,372 --> 01:18:43,378
♪
1989
01:19:13,007 --> 01:19:18,980
Come on! Are you kidding me?
1990
01:19:22,517 --> 01:19:26,121
Oh... I can't.
1991
01:19:26,154 --> 01:19:32,160
Come on, Come on, Come on!
1992
01:20:12,934 --> 01:20:14,936
Myles, are you in there?
1993
01:20:14,969 --> 01:20:17,205
Myles, are you in there?
1994
01:20:17,238 --> 01:20:18,640
Myles!
1995
01:20:18,673 --> 01:20:19,340
Myles!
1996
01:20:19,374 --> 01:20:20,375
What are you god-damned kids
1997
01:20:20,408 --> 01:20:21,376
up to now?
1998
01:20:21,409 --> 01:20:22,977
I'm sorry to disturb you, sir.
1999
01:20:23,011 --> 01:20:23,645
I'm sorry officer,
2000
01:20:23,678 --> 01:20:25,079
I didn't realize it was you.
2001
01:20:25,113 --> 01:20:27,115
Still haven't caught him yet?
2002
01:20:27,148 --> 01:20:28,349
Have you seen him today?
2003
01:20:28,383 --> 01:20:29,417
Saw him this morning.
2004
01:20:29,450 --> 01:20:31,119
He woke me up making a ruckus.
2005
01:20:31,152 --> 01:20:32,153
I went back to sleep.
2006
01:20:32,187 --> 01:20:33,655
Which I never do by the way.
2007
01:20:33,688 --> 01:20:36,457
Damn Sciatica kept me up all
night.
2008
01:20:36,491 --> 01:20:39,160
I got one of these dial
mattresses.
2009
01:20:39,194 --> 01:20:40,662
I changed it from a four to a
six,
2010
01:20:40,695 --> 01:20:42,597
I thought that might help.
2011
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,899
I slept better on my old Sealy.
2012
01:20:44,933 --> 01:20:45,433
You think they'd let me
2013
01:20:45,466 --> 01:20:46,534
take this one back?
2014
01:20:46,568 --> 01:20:47,569
It's only been six weeks.
2015
01:20:47,602 --> 01:20:50,305
I really have to get to Myles,
2016
01:20:50,338 --> 01:20:52,106
so if you know where he is.
2017
01:20:52,140 --> 01:20:53,341
Gone now.
2018
01:20:53,374 --> 01:20:55,543
I guess you missed him.
2019
01:20:55,577 --> 01:20:57,612
Yeah. I guess I did.
2020
01:20:57,645 --> 01:20:58,313
You're gonna go after him,
2021
01:20:58,346 --> 01:21:00,415
aren't you?
2022
01:21:00,448 --> 01:21:03,218
He's not a criminal.
2023
01:21:03,251 --> 01:21:04,919
I know that.
2024
01:21:04,953 --> 01:21:07,055
I'm not blind and stupid.
2025
01:21:07,088 --> 01:21:09,290
You obviously love him.
2026
01:21:09,324 --> 01:21:12,260
I do.
2027
01:21:12,293 --> 01:21:15,396
Then go after him!
2028
01:21:15,430 --> 01:21:17,432
Don't make the same mistake I
did
2029
01:21:17,465 --> 01:21:18,499
and end up like me.
2030
01:21:18,533 --> 01:21:21,035
Trust me.
2031
01:21:21,069 --> 01:21:22,270
Don't just stand there,
2032
01:21:22,303 --> 01:21:23,538
go get him!
2033
01:21:23,571 --> 01:21:25,573
He's going to New York.
2034
01:21:25,607 --> 01:21:26,407
I don't know where he is.
2035
01:21:26,441 --> 01:21:28,176
I'm not going to catch up to
him.
2036
01:21:28,209 --> 01:21:29,944
You've got a cop car don't you?
2037
01:21:29,978 --> 01:21:31,312
Light up that son-of-a bitch.
2038
01:21:31,346 --> 01:21:31,946
I've seen them go
2039
01:21:31,980 --> 01:21:33,047
two-hundred miles an hour.
2040
01:21:33,081 --> 01:21:35,183
Tear ass down that freeway!
2041
01:21:35,216 --> 01:21:38,686
Don't let him get away.
2042
01:21:38,720 --> 01:21:44,092
Ok. Ok.
2043
01:21:44,125 --> 01:21:50,098
Crazy kids.
2044
01:21:55,003 --> 01:21:57,605
(POLICE SIREN)
2045
01:21:57,639 --> 01:21:58,306
I'm sorry for getting you
2046
01:21:58,339 --> 01:21:59,674
out of bed so early for this.
2047
01:21:59,707 --> 01:22:02,443
Who needs sleep on a Saturday
morning?
2048
01:22:02,477 --> 01:22:04,712
Besides, this is fun.
2049
01:22:04,746 --> 01:22:05,580
It's just like those movies
Diane
2050
01:22:05,613 --> 01:22:06,648
makes me watch.
2051
01:22:06,681 --> 01:22:07,715
I have to catch up to Myles
2052
01:22:07,749 --> 01:22:08,683
before it's too late.
2053
01:22:08,716 --> 01:22:09,384
Do me a favor,
2054
01:22:09,417 --> 01:22:10,451
call him and see where he is.
2055
01:22:10,485 --> 01:22:11,552
No way!
2056
01:22:11,586 --> 01:22:13,655
That is not how's its done.
2057
01:22:13,688 --> 01:22:15,456
Myles is a romantic.
2058
01:22:15,490 --> 01:22:16,557
We have to catch up with him.
2059
01:22:16,591 --> 01:22:17,525
It's the element of surprise
that
2060
01:22:17,558 --> 01:22:18,359
will win him back.
2061
01:22:18,393 --> 01:22:19,394
Yeah, and what if we don't make
it
2062
01:22:19,427 --> 01:22:20,361
there in time?
2063
01:22:20,395 --> 01:22:21,229
Trust me on this one.
2064
01:22:21,262 --> 01:22:22,530
I know how it's done.
2065
01:22:22,563 --> 01:22:28,703
You always get the guy in the
end.
2066
01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:30,104
Calling doesn't seem like such
a
2067
01:22:30,138 --> 01:22:32,740
bad idea now, does it?
2068
01:22:32,774 --> 01:22:38,546
It always works in the movies.
2069
01:22:38,579 --> 01:22:40,748
So what now?
2070
01:22:40,782 --> 01:22:42,650
I don't know.
2071
01:22:42,684 --> 01:22:47,255
It usually doesn't turn out this
way.
2072
01:22:47,288 --> 01:22:53,061
I'm too late, aren't I?
2073
01:22:53,094 --> 01:22:55,029
Might as well head back.
2074
01:22:55,063 --> 01:22:59,033
I know you have plans with
Diane.
2075
01:22:59,067 --> 01:22:59,634
Let me call her and let her
know
2076
01:22:59,667 --> 01:23:00,635
I'll be a little late.
2077
01:23:00,668 --> 01:23:06,641
I'll be in the car.
2078
01:23:11,346 --> 01:23:16,184
(PHONE BUZZING)
2079
01:23:16,217 --> 01:23:16,884
This better not be an,
2080
01:23:16,918 --> 01:23:18,186
"I can't make it today" call.
2081
01:23:18,219 --> 01:23:20,121
No, no, I'll be there.
2082
01:23:20,154 --> 01:23:22,123
Small emergency.
2083
01:23:22,156 --> 01:23:23,057
I'll just be a little late.
2084
01:23:23,091 --> 01:23:23,725
Well hurry, so you can start
2085
01:23:23,758 --> 01:23:25,626
making it up to me.
2086
01:23:25,660 --> 01:23:27,628
And don't forget your uniform -
2087
01:23:27,662 --> 01:23:29,464
especially the night stick.
2088
01:23:29,497 --> 01:23:35,503
Bye.
2089
01:23:39,307 --> 01:23:41,509
Richard's going to be a little
bit late.
2090
01:23:41,542 --> 01:23:43,778
Keep me company for just a bit
more?
2091
01:23:43,811 --> 01:23:45,513
I've got three thousand miles
ahead of me
2092
01:23:45,546 --> 01:23:46,314
and now all I'm going to be able
2093
01:23:46,347 --> 01:23:46,981
to think about is you and
Richard
2094
01:23:47,014 --> 01:23:48,783
playing "cops and robbers".
2095
01:23:48,816 --> 01:23:51,552
You should see me trying to
resist arrest.
2096
01:23:51,586 --> 01:23:53,221
I really need to go.
2097
01:23:53,254 --> 01:23:54,489
I just wanted to help you clean
up
2098
01:23:54,522 --> 01:23:55,790
and say goodbye.
2099
01:23:55,823 --> 01:23:58,359
Let's have a mimosa for the
road.
2100
01:23:58,393 --> 01:23:59,060
No one should drive into the
2101
01:23:59,093 --> 01:24:00,628
middle of this country without
2102
01:24:00,661 --> 01:24:02,196
at least one drink in them.
2103
01:24:02,230 --> 01:24:03,231
You're awful.
2104
01:24:03,264 --> 01:24:09,237
I know.
2105
01:24:16,477 --> 01:24:17,345
Are you sure you don't want to
2106
01:24:17,378 --> 01:24:19,280
join us for brunch?
2107
01:24:19,313 --> 01:24:20,314
You know a gay guy is tired
when
2108
01:24:20,348 --> 01:24:22,450
he turns down brunch.
2109
01:24:22,483 --> 01:24:26,421
I had a bad night and a crappy
morning.
2110
01:24:26,454 --> 01:24:27,789
Bottomless drinks.
2111
01:24:27,822 --> 01:24:28,356
I have a feeling you'll get your
2112
01:24:28,389 --> 01:24:30,391
money's worth today.
2113
01:24:30,425 --> 01:24:33,594
I really don't feel like being
around people.
2114
01:24:33,628 --> 01:24:38,699
Especially those in love.
2115
01:24:38,733 --> 01:24:40,668
Where the hell have you two
been?
2116
01:24:40,701 --> 01:24:42,670
And you brought the squad car.
2117
01:24:42,703 --> 01:24:46,674
Nice touch.
2118
01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:48,876
We drove to Nevada this
morning.
2119
01:24:48,910 --> 01:24:50,244
We're trying to catch up with
Myles.
2120
01:24:50,278 --> 01:24:51,712
Nevada?
2121
01:24:51,746 --> 01:24:53,314
Why are you trying to catch up
with Myles?
2122
01:24:53,347 --> 01:24:54,615
Brody wants to talk to him.
2123
01:24:54,649 --> 01:24:55,917
He doesn't want him to leave.
2124
01:24:55,950 --> 01:24:57,452
Well, you just missed him.
2125
01:24:57,485 --> 01:24:59,620
Obviously.
2126
01:24:59,654 --> 01:25:00,822
You and your detective skills.
2127
01:25:00,855 --> 01:25:01,923
I mean he was just here,
2128
01:25:01,956 --> 01:25:03,591
he left a minute ago.
2129
01:25:03,624 --> 01:25:06,828
Hey, we can still catch him!
2130
01:25:06,861 --> 01:25:08,262
You can't call him.
2131
01:25:08,296 --> 01:25:09,263
That's not the way it works.
2132
01:25:09,297 --> 01:25:10,097
I know.
2133
01:25:10,131 --> 01:25:13,401
I've been trying to tell him
that.
2134
01:25:13,434 --> 01:25:16,737
(PHONE BUZZING)
2135
01:25:16,771 --> 01:25:21,409
♪
2136
01:25:21,442 --> 01:25:25,379
I just can't.
2137
01:25:25,413 --> 01:25:31,385
Straight to voicemail.
2138
01:25:36,324 --> 01:25:40,828
♪
2139
01:25:40,862 --> 01:25:42,930
He's right there.
2140
01:25:49,537 --> 01:25:55,543
Go! Go!
2141
01:25:55,910 --> 01:25:57,478
Are you crazy?!
2142
01:25:57,512 --> 01:25:58,446
Move!
2143
01:25:58,479 --> 01:25:59,313
Are you kidding me?!
2144
01:25:59,347 --> 01:26:00,281
Stop!
2145
01:26:00,314 --> 01:26:02,817
Get out of my way.
2146
01:26:02,850 --> 01:26:03,818
I need to leave.
2147
01:26:03,851 --> 01:26:04,685
Myles.
2148
01:26:04,719 --> 01:26:07,455
No, let me go.
2149
01:26:07,488 --> 01:26:12,560
Move!
2150
01:26:12,593 --> 01:26:17,532
Why are you all doing this to
me?
2151
01:26:17,565 --> 01:26:18,666
There's nothing you can do
2152
01:26:18,699 --> 01:26:24,705
to make me stay.
2153
01:26:29,610 --> 01:26:31,746
Was that supposed to change my
mind?
2154
01:26:31,779 --> 01:26:32,847
That was the idea.
2155
01:26:32,880 --> 01:26:35,383
It didn't.
2156
01:26:35,416 --> 01:26:40,621
I can't do this with you
anymore.
2157
01:26:40,655 --> 01:26:42,423
I've got to do what's right for
me now,
2158
01:26:42,456 --> 01:26:45,893
and that's getting away from
you.
2159
01:26:45,927 --> 01:26:47,562
You may not need someone,
2160
01:26:47,595 --> 01:26:49,597
but you deserve someone.
2161
01:26:49,630 --> 01:26:51,532
And I want to be that person.
2162
01:26:51,566 --> 01:26:53,434
You're not capable of having a
relationship.
2163
01:26:53,467 --> 01:26:54,335
What have we been doing
2164
01:26:54,368 --> 01:26:55,937
the last ten years?
2165
01:26:55,970 --> 01:26:57,905
I may not be the Prince Charming
2166
01:26:57,939 --> 01:27:00,041
that you imagine, but
2167
01:27:00,074 --> 01:27:03,644
you know I would slay a dragon
for you.
2168
01:27:03,678 --> 01:27:05,913
It's not enough, Brody.
2169
01:27:05,947 --> 01:27:09,383
What else is there?
2170
01:27:09,417 --> 01:27:11,319
Trust, love,
2171
01:27:11,352 --> 01:27:14,055
companionship, respect.
2172
01:27:14,088 --> 01:27:20,294
We don't have all those things
2173
01:27:23,064 --> 01:27:23,965
Well then, I'll guess I'll have
to
2174
01:27:23,998 --> 01:27:25,566
make this easy for you.
2175
01:27:25,600 --> 01:27:26,834
Cause you don't have a choice.
2176
01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:29,971
I'm sorry, what?
2177
01:27:30,004 --> 01:27:31,472
I'm glad you're here because I
need a lawyer.
2178
01:27:31,505 --> 01:27:32,206
Would you please tell me
2179
01:27:32,240 --> 01:27:34,408
if this is still legally
binding?
2180
01:27:34,442 --> 01:27:38,613
I charge seven-hundred dollars
an hour.
2181
01:27:38,646 --> 01:27:40,548
Fine, I'll do it pro-bono.
2182
01:27:40,581 --> 01:27:45,319
Let me see it.
2183
01:27:45,353 --> 01:27:46,954
I'm sorry, it's not legally
binding.
2184
01:27:46,988 --> 01:27:47,955
It states that this becomes
2185
01:27:47,989 --> 01:27:50,524
effective on Myles' birthday.
2186
01:27:50,558 --> 01:27:54,629
Unfortunately, that's not until
tomorrow.
2187
01:27:54,662 --> 01:27:57,331
I guess we'll just have to wait
twelve hours.
2188
01:27:57,365 --> 01:27:58,633
We can put him under house
arrest
2189
01:27:58,666 --> 01:28:00,568
until the contract is due.
2190
01:28:00,601 --> 01:28:02,770
I can leave this perp in your
custody.
2191
01:28:02,803 --> 01:28:06,440
The law is the law.
2192
01:28:06,474 --> 01:28:08,409
I'm so glad that everybody's
made
2193
01:28:08,442 --> 01:28:14,448
the decision about what I should
do.
2194
01:28:15,983 --> 01:28:18,052
Does anybody want to know what I
think?
2195
01:28:18,085 --> 01:28:22,390
Yes, of course.
2196
01:28:22,423 --> 01:28:25,459
I think after waiting ten
years,
2197
01:28:25,493 --> 01:28:29,630
I deserve a proper kiss.
2198
01:28:29,664 --> 01:28:35,670
♪
2199
01:28:49,884 --> 01:28:55,823
(FACETIME RINGING)
2200
01:28:56,023 --> 01:28:57,858
You're calling me why?
2201
01:28:57,892 --> 01:28:58,559
Well, I always call you
2202
01:28:58,592 --> 01:29:01,095
after I hook up with a hot guy.
2203
01:29:01,128 --> 01:29:02,830
How was it?
2204
01:29:02,863 --> 01:29:04,465
Let me put it like this:
2205
01:29:04,498 --> 01:29:06,000
I'm gonna have to call you back.
2206
01:29:06,033 --> 01:29:08,135
Cause I'm about to do it again.
2207
01:29:08,169 --> 01:29:10,538
It was that good?
2208
01:29:10,571 --> 01:29:11,906
Oh yeah.
2209
01:29:11,939 --> 01:29:13,941
And by the way,
2210
01:29:13,974 --> 01:29:15,843
Happy Birthday Myles.
2211
01:29:15,876 --> 01:29:18,446
It certainly is.
2212
01:29:18,479 --> 01:29:24,452
♪
2213
01:29:45,072 --> 01:29:51,078
♪
139285
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