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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:07,760 Ah, good morning, Mrs. Roper. Oh, Mr. 2 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:10,720 Ramirez. Are you working an extra day this week? 3 00:00:10,940 --> 00:00:13,560 Yes, I need the money to send to my wife in Guadalajara. 4 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,140 Oh, of course. 5 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,160 How much will you need to bring her up here? 6 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:20,280 Oh, I don't send the money to bring her up here. 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,120 I send the money to keep her down there. 8 00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:28,800 Bye, honey. I'll see you at lunch. Bye. 9 00:00:49,610 --> 00:00:54,330 I was just watching Jeffrey kiss you goodbye and wondering why Stanley never 10 00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:55,069 does that. 11 00:00:55,070 --> 00:00:56,490 Maybe he thinks I'd object. 12 00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:01,370 No, I mean, why he doesn't kiss me goodbye. 13 00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:05,230 Oh, Jeffrey always kisses me when he goes to the office. 14 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:09,270 Stanley wouldn't kiss me like that if he was going to the electric chair. 15 00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,590 Hey, come on. How about some coffee? 16 00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:18,430 to start the morning with something that perks. 17 00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:21,590 Sit down, Ellen. 18 00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:23,690 Why are you so depressed? 19 00:01:24,130 --> 00:01:25,370 Oh, I don't know. 20 00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:32,210 I guess I'm just an incurable romantic. I keep expecting fireworks all the time. 21 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,710 Oh, what's wrong with that? 22 00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:35,930 I'm living with a damp fuse. 23 00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:40,590 How about a sweet roll? No, thanks. 24 00:01:41,270 --> 00:01:46,510 Hey, Ann, am I wrong to expect so much out of Mary? after all these years? 25 00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:48,330 Oh, of course not. 26 00:01:48,950 --> 00:01:53,810 I don't know. I look at you and Jeffrey and... Mm -hmm. 27 00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:55,230 Good coffee. 28 00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:57,970 How do you do it? 29 00:01:58,550 --> 00:02:02,390 Oh, the secret is to use a low heat and keep it simmering. 30 00:02:03,370 --> 00:02:06,390 I was talking about how you keep Jeffrey interested. 31 00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:07,730 So was I. 32 00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:14,140 You know, just... Because Stanley's been taking you for granted doesn't mean it 33 00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:16,320 has to stay that way. It doesn't? No. 34 00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:19,900 Everyone's relationship gets stuck in a rut sometimes. 35 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:25,740 You know, I had this girlfriend, and she was dating this guy for a long time, 36 00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:27,380 but he kept putting off getting married. 37 00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:32,960 So one day, an old boyfriend of hers called her up and asked her out. And 38 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,920 how you got Jeffrey to propose to you? Yeah. 39 00:02:42,060 --> 00:02:43,980 Oh, I wish I had some old boyfriends around. 40 00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:46,940 Hey, maybe you don't need any. What do you mean? 41 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:50,020 What if you invented an imaginary lover? 42 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,300 I don't have to. I've already got one. 43 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,420 I mean, what if Stanley thought that another man was interested in you? 44 00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:03,580 You mean pretend that there's someone else just to make Stanley jealous? 45 00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:04,940 Yeah. 46 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,520 Oh, I don't know, Ann. 47 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:08,980 You're right. 48 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,860 That's a little sneaky and... Underhanded? Yeah. Yeah. 49 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,460 What do you think I should name him? 50 00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:22,480 You know, this is just like Peyton Place. I come over for a cup of coffee 51 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:23,600 end up having an affair. 52 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,220 Hi. 53 00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:26,820 Oh, hi, David. 54 00:03:27,380 --> 00:03:29,540 Mr. Orber suddenly needs you badly. 55 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,360 Really? 56 00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:03,240 David, that's not the Brooks attitude. 57 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,480 I mean, life is so full of wonderful new things. 58 00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:12,240 All you have to do is open your eyes and your ears and learn to observe them. 59 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,780 Now, David, haven't you observed anything today? 60 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,440 Well, Mrs. Rope was having an affair. 61 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:20,880 Very good. 62 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,560 Mrs. 63 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:28,960 Rope was having what? 64 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,780 It makes you say such a terrible thing. 65 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,820 I observed it this morning. 66 00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:39,140 The what? 67 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:42,300 I heard Mommy and Mrs. Wilbur talking about it. 68 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:43,600 What's an affair? 69 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:51,880 An affair is like a big party. 70 00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:56,080 Like the affair I took your Mommy to at the tennis club last week. 71 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,300 You mean like with ice cream and cake? 72 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,680 Yes. 73 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:08,700 Because... Ann? 74 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,580 Hi, Jeffrey. Lunch will be ready in a minute. 75 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,200 David says that Mrs. Roper is having an affair. 76 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,240 You shouldn't listen to things like that, David. But Daddy told me to. 77 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:29,420 Jeffrey. I... Go in the kitchen and have lunch, David. 78 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,960 Can I ask you something? 79 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,740 No. Poor thinking, Ann. 80 00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:39,890 We must not curb his natural curiosity. 81 00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:47,050 David, what is it? Why did you put your brave cake on my thinking pictures? 82 00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:49,750 No. 83 00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:53,990 Why must he collect these things? 84 00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:58,850 Well, you told him it was good for him. And what about this affair that woman is 85 00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:01,910 having? Oh, that was my idea. I told her to. 86 00:06:02,130 --> 00:06:03,130 Oh. 87 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,300 Stanley just got home, so call me right back, okay? And I'll pretend it's my 88 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,300 lover calling. 89 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:18,320 What? Oh, you don't have to worry. I'll take care of everything else. Okay. 90 00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,580 Bye. 91 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,240 Who was that, Helen? 92 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:26,060 Oh, oh, oh, that was Ann. I told her I couldn't talk to her right now because 93 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:29,600 I'm expecting a very important phone call. 94 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,620 And I'm expecting lunch. 95 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,440 Well, you'll just have to wait, Stanley. Didn't you hear me? 96 00:06:35,070 --> 00:06:38,130 I'm expecting an important phone call. Oh. 97 00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:41,150 And I'd rather you wouldn't ask me who it's from. 98 00:06:42,330 --> 00:06:46,030 Oh? There's no use trying to drag it out of me, Sammy. 99 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:47,970 That's all I can tell you. 100 00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:49,210 Oh. 101 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,670 Okay. 102 00:06:54,110 --> 00:06:57,770 Oh, that must be my very important phone call. 103 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,220 I'm a married woman. 104 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,480 Listen, you don't understand. 105 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,680 My husband is home. 106 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,000 He's right in the room with me. 107 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,800 phone company's trying to raise their rates again. 108 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,260 Didn't you hear anything? 109 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:51,660 First I heard of it. 110 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:55,140 I mean, I was just on the phone now talking to someone. 111 00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:57,560 Don't you even care who it was? 112 00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:04,340 Okay, who was it? Who was it? Who was it? Well, these questions never end. 113 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,860 Oh, all right. 114 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:14,080 If you must know, it was someone who wants me. 115 00:08:16,239 --> 00:08:18,980 What? You didn't hang up? Hang up? 116 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,400 That's the only way to deal with those obscene phone calls. 117 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,880 This was not an obscene phone call. 118 00:08:25,260 --> 00:08:26,260 Then what was it? 119 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,700 There's someone else in my life. 120 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:38,580 Huh? Someone who's crazy about me. 121 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:40,799 What? 122 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:42,260 Ellen. 123 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:43,799 Another man? 124 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,580 Yes. I see. 125 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,660 Helen, another man? 126 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:23,270 don't you, that some other man is interested in me? 127 00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:24,490 Okay, Helen, who's the man? 128 00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,630 Wild horses wouldn't drag it out of me. 129 00:09:27,870 --> 00:09:29,970 It's all right, you don't have to tell me. It's Ramon. 130 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,050 Ramon? 131 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:37,030 Yes, and I don't know how long I can hold him off. 132 00:09:37,470 --> 00:09:41,710 I mean, Stanley, you know how hot -blooded these Latin men are? 133 00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:45,670 Come on, Helen, there is no Ramon. Oh, that's how much you know. 134 00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:47,510 I know what I know, and I know you. 135 00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:51,260 Oh, you think you know? You know me, but I know you don't know. 136 00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:52,479 I don't know. 137 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:53,840 I'm glad you admit it. 138 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,559 All right. 139 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:59,900 Prove there's another man. Invite this Ramon over for a drink. 140 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:06,680 Invite Ramon over for a drink? Yeah, if he really exists. 141 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,100 He exists? 142 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:09,680 Okay. 143 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,160 How about tonight? 144 00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:12,740 Tonight? 145 00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:14,960 Unless he has a bullfight to go to. 146 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,040 Tonight will be fun. 147 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,550 I think I'll make a sandwich. 148 00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:25,830 Aren't you going to call him? 149 00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,270 Trouble? 150 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,190 Didn't the phone call work? No. 151 00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,310 Stanley didn't believe me. 152 00:10:58,510 --> 00:11:02,190 Oh, that's too bad. And now I have to invite him over for cocktails. 153 00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:04,590 Stanley? No, Ramone. 154 00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,790 Oh, Helen, that's terrible. 155 00:11:07,870 --> 00:11:08,870 Who's Ramone? 156 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:27,940 i think you're going to have to tell stanley the truth you're right i will 157 00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:34,400 on my deathbed what are you going to do in the meantime 158 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,680 i don't know 159 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,280 Oh, I don't know what I'm doing. 160 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,180 You need a key ring. I need a man. 161 00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:41,710 Yes. Oh, well, in that case, do you think you could be Latin? 162 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,430 I could try. 163 00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:13,820 to be embarrassed about. 164 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,840 Everyone enjoys them. 165 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,500 look different underwater. 166 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,960 Roper? 167 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,440 Brooks, what are you doing here? What are you doing there? 168 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,440 I was just trying to show Linda how long I can hold my breath underwater. 169 00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:29,700 Oh, could you show me for about 20 minutes? 170 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:34,620 What are you even doing here? You should be at home paying attention to your 171 00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:37,020 wife. She's acting very strange, you know. 172 00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:39,460 Maybe I have stuff about her seeing another man. 173 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,230 You mean she's already found another one? 174 00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:45,070 There's no other man. She just invented a guy to make me jealous. Some guy named 175 00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:47,090 Ramon. But I got even with her. 176 00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:49,230 I had her invite him over for a drink tonight. 177 00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,450 Robert, are you sure there's no other man? 178 00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:54,990 Of course there is. If there was, I'd do what any man would do. 179 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,670 You mean you'd stand up and fight? 180 00:14:57,410 --> 00:14:58,410 Are you crazy? 181 00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:01,890 I never hit hell in my life. 182 00:15:04,450 --> 00:15:07,170 No, no. If she'd fall in love with another guy, I'd just move out. 183 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,940 You mean you'd actually leave? 184 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,620 Yeah. What you are saying to me is that you would sell your house? 185 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:15,940 Just like that. 186 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,720 Now, 187 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:28,460 isn't Ramon here yet? 188 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,360 Not yet. 189 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:35,080 Ellen, don't you know when to quit? You tried to fool me and it didn't work. You 190 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:35,949 know why? 191 00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:39,070 Because you've got to get up pretty early in the morning to fool family 192 00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:46,450 Helen! What are you? 193 00:15:47,570 --> 00:15:50,350 Eleven American beauty roses. 194 00:15:50,690 --> 00:15:57,370 Eleven? Yes, eleven roses, and you make a dozen American beauties. What 195 00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,730 are you doing, Ramirez? 196 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:01,430 You can call me Ramon. 197 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,830 Okay. What are you doing, Ramon? 198 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,440 Ramon. 199 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,280 Stanley, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. 200 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:16,540 But you can't be Ramon. You're the gardener. Oh, who better to appreciate 201 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,360 nature's beauty? 202 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,160 Stanley, he's like the flowers I grow. 203 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,740 So full of life. 204 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:27,060 You're like the ground you fertilize. So full of... Oh, God! 205 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,900 for drinks. You invited them. 206 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,540 A glass of wine, Ramon? 207 00:16:41,020 --> 00:16:42,020 Why not? 208 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,800 Because you're leaving. That's why not. 209 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,500 Danny, where are your manners? 210 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,420 Señora. Oh, thank you. 211 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:52,800 Honestly. 212 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:55,940 Ramon. 213 00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:04,300 Usted es la señora más hermosa. 214 00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:08,400 What? Don't do that! 215 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,339 Why not? I like it. 216 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,800 Come here. Come here. Oh. 217 00:17:15,220 --> 00:17:16,780 How could you do this to me? 218 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,160 Why, I didn't think you'd care. 219 00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:21,480 I didn't think you'd even notice. 220 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:25,240 After all those years of a happily married life, how could you drop me for 221 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,240 another man? 222 00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:40,719 For what? 223 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,720 Who is it, Helen? 224 00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:43,820 I am Ramon. 225 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,680 Another Ramon? 226 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:54,080 The Ramon? No, no. No, the phone company. 227 00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:58,140 He's from the phone. I can't fix the phone. What are you talking about? The 228 00:17:58,140 --> 00:17:59,140 phone's working fine. 229 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,560 It was working. 230 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,060 No, no, you don't understand. 231 00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:09,600 I didn't come over here. Oh, just stand around. No, not at all. You came here. 232 00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:12,630 to fix the phone and not a moment too soon. 233 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:14,550 Ramon? Yes? 234 00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:19,710 Oh, no, I didn't mean you. I meant him. 235 00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:26,250 Ramon, I think you'd better go. I don't think things will work out between us. 236 00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:31,890 Mr. Brooks sent me. Buenas noches. 237 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,930 I'll just see what nobody wants. I'll get it. I'll get it. 238 00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:47,490 Hey, 239 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,590 hey, hey, hey. 240 00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,330 What are you doing, amigo? 241 00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:58,910 What are you doing here anyway? 242 00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:03,970 I am here because I am in love. 243 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:05,970 I cannot live without... 244 00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,210 out to see who's going to marry Helen. 245 00:19:34,910 --> 00:19:37,570 Marry? Brooks didn't say anything about marriage. 246 00:19:37,870 --> 00:19:39,510 Hey, that's not part of my delivery. 247 00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:40,730 She's yours. 248 00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:43,390 Mom? Wait here first. Hey, don't leave without me. 249 00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:49,490 I'd love to, but I'm already married. 250 00:19:56,910 --> 00:19:57,910 Go ahead. 251 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,030 Go ahead, Stanley. 252 00:20:00,270 --> 00:20:01,690 Go ahead and laugh. 253 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:03,990 Laugh? Me? 254 00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,030 Come on, sit down, Helen. 255 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,330 Sit down. 256 00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:18,290 I know why you did this, to teach me a lesson, so I wouldn't take you for 257 00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:21,810 granted. So I'd pay more attention to you. 258 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:23,810 That's true, Stanley. 259 00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:26,890 Well, from now on, you don't have to invent any Latin lovers. 260 00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:30,700 Now, while I'm around, I'm going to be your Latin lover. 261 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:34,580 Oh, Stanley, do you mean it? 262 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:35,920 Si, si. 263 00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:39,860 Where are you going? 264 00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:41,180 Upstairs. 265 00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:43,400 To the bedroom? 266 00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:46,200 It's siesta time. 267 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,780 Stanley! 268 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,580 I, I, I, I, I like you very much. 269 00:21:09,210 --> 00:21:10,210 Stanley, 270 00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:19,570 I figured after last night you'd need an extra special big breakfast, 271 00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:22,290 you know, to get your strength back. 272 00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:26,710 Good idea, Helen. 273 00:21:27,430 --> 00:21:31,230 You know, I was talking to Brooks, and I can't get over it. He hired a salesman 274 00:21:31,230 --> 00:21:35,110 from his office to be one of the Ramones. Yeah. And Anne hired her tennis 275 00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:36,210 teacher to be another one. 276 00:21:36,470 --> 00:21:40,810 Yeah, but you already knew that both of those Ramones were phonies. Yeah, but I 277 00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:42,310 could have sworn they were real actors. 278 00:21:42,950 --> 00:21:44,390 Well, what made you think that? 279 00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:47,550 You see the expression on their face when they kiss your hand? 280 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:51,850 They actually look like they enjoyed it. 281 00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:26,040 The Ropers was videotaped in front of a studio audience. 282 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,460 Thank you for your question. 21254

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