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One, two, three,
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00:00:12,350 --> 00:00:13,350
four.
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00:01:06,419 --> 00:01:09,660
Ellen, there's a great movie on tonight,
The Tentacles of Dr.
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00:01:09,860 --> 00:01:10,860
Evil.
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00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:14,660
It's about this mad scientist who
creates the most frightening monster in
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world. Have you forgotten about my
sister?
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All right, the second was frightening.
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Ethel and Hubert are coming for dinner
tonight.
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Oh, yeah, I forgot.
10
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Well, I hope you haven't forgotten about
these bills you're having to pay. Don't
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00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,720
start nagging me about those, will you?
They've been there for weeks.
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That's because I'm smart.
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What do you mean?
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What I do is I let the bills go to the
end of the month. That way my money
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interest for me, not for them.
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Hey, that's terrific.
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You must be saving...
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Six, seven dollars a year.
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Yeah.
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00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:51,080
See, I have money to splash on those
fancy dinner parties for your hoity
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00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:56,620
sister. One dinner party, Stanley. Oh,
hey, I called Jack Tripper and he gave
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this special recipe for moussaka.
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Who's moussaka? Her dog?
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It's Greek.
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00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:04,780
She got a Greek dog?
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It's a Greek dish.
27
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:12,480
See... Ethel's always bragging about her
Mediterranean cruises, and she says,
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00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:15,280
nobody can make moussaka like the
Greeks.
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00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:19,160
Well, my moussaka's going to come as a
surprise to her.
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00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,820
Your cooking doesn't come as a surprise.
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It comes as a shock.
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I'm going to prove to Ethel that I can
entertain just as well as her rich
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friend.
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00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,540
You know, with all the fuss you're going
through, I'm surprised you didn't buy
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00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:41,459
yourself a new dress.
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I did.
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00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,600
Helen, you're killing me. Don't you
understand, Stanley?
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00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:51,320
Tonight has to be exactly right. The
food, the wine, the atmosphere.
39
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:57,880
If I'm lucky and everything is perfect,
this could be the worst evening of...
40
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,500
moves you could make. Ah, you could take
that piece right there.
41
00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:12,860
Oh, yeah.
42
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,020
You took all my checkers. That's not
fair.
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00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,420
Well, you shouldn't have made that move.
44
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,480
But you told me to make it.
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00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,420
Well, rule number one, never trust your
opponent.
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Even when he's your father?
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Especially when he's your father. Now,
go get ready to go to Aunt Eleanor's. Do
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00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,700
I have to? Of course. Yes, you do.
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00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,420
Your aunt's very old. Do you know how
she looks forward to your visit?
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00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,720
That's because she beats me at checkers,
too.
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00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:50,780
Your aunt is a wonderful woman. Who just
happens to own a very large house in
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00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:51,719
Beverly Hills.
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00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,940
That has nothing to do with our visiting
her.
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Nothing? Well, it's true that someday
someone in her family might inherit that
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00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,660
house. And you're her favorite nephew.
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00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:02,940
I know.
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00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,560
That narrows it down to me and her 12
cats.
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00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,250
for two hours.
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00:04:12,590 --> 00:04:14,390
Have you seen a corkscrew anyplace?
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00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:18,110
Not now, Stanley. That's a special wine
for tonight.
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00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:19,569
What's this?
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00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:20,630
$4 .98?
63
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:23,450
Couldn't you find anything cheaper?
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00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:26,830
There's a one there.
65
00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:28,770
Oh, $1 .98. That's not so bad.
66
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,050
There's a one next to the four.
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00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:33,790
$14 .98?
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00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:37,210
Jack says it's the perfect wine.
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00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:38,430
It goes with...
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And bankruptcy.
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00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:46,690
Imagine having to wear this ridiculous
tie.
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00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:50,650
It's your aunt's favorite.
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00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,010
I know, I know.
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00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,630
I hope those cats don't decide to butter
up to her this afternoon.
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00:04:57,650 --> 00:04:59,870
It's impossible competing with Mr.
Whiskers.
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00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:05,050
Jeffrey, they're only cats. I know, I
know. What's the point? What does she
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00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,370
in them that she doesn't see in me?
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00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,120
Maybe you don't purr when your stomach
is rubbed.
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00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:11,420
Try me.
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00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,860
You'll be late. It doesn't matter.
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00:05:16,380 --> 00:05:17,960
Oh, did you wash behind her ears?
82
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,200
Oh, yes.
83
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,860
Does Aunt Ellen not check behind your
ears, too?
84
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,500
Hey, you forgot to brush your hair.
85
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,040
Oh, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was
just wondering if... Oh, what an
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00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,080
attractive tie.
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00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,070
Aunt Eleanor gave it to him for
Christmas.
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00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:43,290
Oh!
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00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,330
Is there something you wanted?
90
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:50,590
Oh, Aunt, I was wondering, do you have a
serving platter that I could borrow?
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00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:52,550
Of course. And a butter knife?
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00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:56,410
Uh, Stanley used ours to clean his spark
plugs. Oh, sure.
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00:05:56,730 --> 00:06:01,870
And maybe some potholders? He used those
to lift out his carburetors. Why don't
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00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:04,050
you just borrow our kitchen? He could
make that into a garage.
95
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:09,800
I brushed my hair. Good, good. Come on,
Ann. Let's be going. We're on our way to
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00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,380
Jeffrey Van Illinois. Everything you
need is in the cabinet above the sink.
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00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:16,380
here's my key in case you need anything
else. Oh, thanks, Ann.
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00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:19,300
Oh, those cats.
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00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,240
I just know I'm going to wind up getting
fur balls.
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00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,990
I haven't seen you since the bowling
tournament.
101
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:41,270
Yeah, boy, you sure were throwing them
wild that night, weren't you?
102
00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:43,330
Did you ever find your ball?
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00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:49,750
Cut that out. Hey, how about a beer? No,
no, thanks. No, one little beer's not
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00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,110
gonna hurt you. Well, okay, just one.
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00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:53,190
Still with the gas company?
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00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:56,870
Power. Ah, same thing. They both keep
raising their bills.
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00:06:57,130 --> 00:07:00,150
Yeah, well, I guess there's nothing much
we can do about it except pay them,
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00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,770
huh? Yeah, that's true, that's true.
Hey, it's really good to see you,
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00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:03,629
Yeah, thanks.
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00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:04,930
Uh, this isn't, um...
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00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:08,860
Exactly a social visit, Stanley. Well,
bottoms up. Cheers.
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00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,180
I'm here to turn off your power.
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00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,400
Wait, wait, Doc.
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00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,820
You can't turn off my electricity.
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00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,520
Doc, Stanley, you've already had two
warnings.
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00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,600
Yeah, but I never open them, so they
don't count, right?
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00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,580
They count to the power company.
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00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,580
Listen, what about if I write you out a
check?
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00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,980
I am not authorized to accept payment.
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00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,020
Now, that ought to do it. Doc, listen.
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00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:34,390
Can't we talk this over?
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00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:38,570
I'd like to, but I've got to run,
Stanley. Listen, you can't shut off my
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00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:40,870
electricity. My wife's sister's coming
over for dinner.
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00:07:41,150 --> 00:07:43,630
Now, the refrigerator won't work, the
lights won't work. We'll be eating in
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00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,450
dark. No, you won't. Oh, good.
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00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,150
Your stove won't work either.
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00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:50,390
The
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00:07:50,390 --> 00:08:01,590
stove's
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00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:02,369
not working.
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00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:03,750
He really shut it off.
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00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:05,290
Stanley?
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00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:06,810
Helen.
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00:08:07,770 --> 00:08:08,770
Stanley?
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00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:10,450
Oh, hey.
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00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,390
Anne loaned me her serving platter for
tonight.
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00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:16,970
And also, she gave me her key in case I
need to borrow anything else.
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00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,590
No, no, I don't want you going in the
kitchen.
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00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:22,790
Don't be silly. I got work to do. No,
no, no, you've done enough work today.
139
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:24,030
Why don't you take a nap?
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00:08:24,590 --> 00:08:26,650
I don't have time, Stanley.
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00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:28,490
I'm making a dinner.
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00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:30,810
Dinner will be all right. All right.
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00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:33,960
Listen, you said that dinner was
prepared anyway, didn't you? So why
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00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,679
go and take a nap? Don't you want to be
nice and fresh tonight?
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00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,520
Yeah, well, I am kind of tired. You look
it.
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00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:42,700
What? I mean, don't you want to look
better than Ethel tonight?
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00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,100
Oh, yeah.
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00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:48,200
Oh, hey, okay, but be sure and wake me
in one hour.
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00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:50,080
Sweet dreams, sweetheart.
150
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,720
Everything's melting.
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00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,700
I'm going to stand now. Calm down.
152
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,100
Why didn't you wake me up?
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00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:10,920
I wanted you to have your beauty sleep.
154
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,280
But I slept for more than an hour. It
worked. You look beautiful.
155
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,740
Oh, yeah? You really think so?
156
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:22,460
Why don't you turn on some more lights?
No, no, no. It's more romantic this way.
157
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:23,740
Oh.
158
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,120
Oh, there's Ethel and Hilbert now.
159
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,500
Ethel. Helen.
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00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,700
Their doorbell isn't working.
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00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,060
Just like Stanley.
162
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,860
Here, let me take your mouth. Oh, your
coat.
163
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:46,740
Watch your step.
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00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:52,260
You seem to have lowered the lighting
since we were last here.
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00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,360
Yes. How very wise.
166
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,960
Well, make yourselves at home.
167
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,040
Good. I'll pour myself a scotch on the
rocks.
168
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,700
I think I'll have a glass of wine,
Stanley.
169
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,920
Will you join me, Ethel? Yes. No.
170
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,960
I mean, well, what have you got this
time?
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00:12:11,460 --> 00:12:15,840
Stanley, why don't you open the good
French wine?
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00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,300
I certainly hope it's well chilled.
173
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:19,580
So do I.
174
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,300
So, Ethel, how are things?
175
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,360
Well, I've been thinking. It's about
time.
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00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:39,740
another trip to the Mediterranean for
me.
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00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,060
And another trip to the bank for me.
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00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,880
It's so nice not to have to worry about
the expense.
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00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,400
It must be.
180
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,599
Here's the wine.
181
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:59,280
Oh, good. I've got some wonderful hot
hors d 'oeuvres to go with it. I'll get
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00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,280
them, dear.
183
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,360
You've been working hard enough. I don't
want you raising another finger.
184
00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:06,380
She's my princess.
185
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:11,410
Take care of us, will you, Hugo boy?
186
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,490
Thank you, Bruno.
187
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:26,650
There seems to be a new side to Stanley.
188
00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:29,690
Oh, you know Stanley.
189
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:33,770
He always insists on treating me like a
princess.
190
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:35,770
He's such a...
191
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:48,470
I sure am looking forward to them.
192
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:50,110
Yes.
193
00:13:50,970 --> 00:13:51,970
Stanley?
194
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:56,550
Are you having any trouble, Stanley?
195
00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,470
I couldn't find the potholders.
196
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:06,330
I don't suppose that you have any
Perrier water?
197
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:08,410
Perrier.
198
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,220
I made them from a magazine.
199
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:29,440
I thought I recognized the taste.
200
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:41,320
Here's your water.
201
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:45,480
Oh, Stan, you could have given her a
little more than that.
202
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,260
No, no, no, that's just fine. Good. But
I could use some ice.
203
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:51,800
Ice.
204
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:07,020
making too many demands on him lately,
have you, Helen?
205
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,900
Oh, well, I, uh... With Hubert, I don't
have to make demands.
206
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,299
I know.
207
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,300
Just excuses.
208
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:35,890
your allergy pills.
209
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:42,010
I hate cats.
210
00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:46,070
Just wearing this tie makes me want to
sneeze.
211
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,730
David, you better get ready for bed.
212
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:55,850
I beat up Eleanor Checkers. She's
probably writing them out of the will
213
00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:56,850
now.
214
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:04,860
Sounds like someone's in the kitchen.
215
00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:08,960
Wait, be careful.
216
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,100
Another hors d 'oeuvre?
217
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,460
No, thank you. I prefer the medieval.
218
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:27,220
Here's your... Here's your...
219
00:16:34,730 --> 00:16:36,070
Someone's cooking dinner in there.
220
00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:41,470
Maybe Helen took you seriously when you
said, why don't you borrow our kitchen?
221
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,870
Oh, come on, Ann. People know when I'm
joking.
222
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,010
That's true. You always tell them.
223
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:50,110
I'm going to phone the Ropers right now
and find out... What is this?
224
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,430
This cord leads into Roper's house.
225
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:07,470
There's nothing I like... Better than
the Coliseum in the morning, the
226
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:08,470
in the afternoon?
227
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:09,930
Bull at night?
228
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:40,000
What's going on?
229
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:41,780
Hold this, will you?
230
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:43,460
I'll fix it.
231
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,620
Henry,
232
00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:53,660
why don't you just go next door and talk
to him? I do not talk to thieves.
233
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,560
Do you have to yank on that right now?
No, no, of course not. Thank you, Vern.
234
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,440
I'll just unplug it. No, no, no, you
can't do that. It's my...
235
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:22,580
Next year.
236
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:30,420
Next year, when he goes to his
meatpackers convention, he's
237
00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:35,640
letting me go to Hong Kong.
238
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:37,860
That'll pay him back for sending us the
flu.
239
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:41,900
I've always wanted to go to Greece.
240
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,120
Helen, the lights are out.
241
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,480
It's been my lifelong ambition to see
Athens.
242
00:18:50,399 --> 00:18:54,400
Aren't you going to do anything about
it? Well, I've tried, but Stanley says
243
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,520
doesn't like long vacations.
244
00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,880
Don't you have any candles?
245
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,620
But, but, but, Ann.
246
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,620
Jeffrey, it isn't going to hurt anything
to let them use our power till they get
247
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:06,459
their own back.
248
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:07,520
That could be years.
249
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,940
Thanks. Thanks. I'll go get the dinner.
250
00:19:58,090 --> 00:20:00,350
fishy first the lights and now this.
251
00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:04,030
And it's all your fault, your
responsibility.
252
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,490
Just feel it in my bones. All right, you
pay the bills from now on.
253
00:20:08,910 --> 00:20:09,910
What?
254
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,830
Never mind. Let's just serve the dinner,
huh?
255
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:16,170
You didn't pay the electric bill?
256
00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:19,350
So I forgot to pay one lousy bill.
257
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:21,330
Colin!
258
00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:24,650
I'm gonna kill you. Come here!
259
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:30,190
Until you tell me when. I'll make it up
to you, Helen. How?
260
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:32,430
I'll take us all out to dinner.
261
00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:34,530
Well,
262
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:39,270
let's go.
263
00:20:40,550 --> 00:20:41,550
Go where?
264
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,670
I'm taking you all to a fancy
restaurant.
265
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,690
That's very nice of you. Which one?
266
00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:53,870
Oh, Stanley, didn't you say something
about Chez Louis?
267
00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,090
Chez Louis?
268
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,130
It costs 50 bucks just to go in their
front door.
269
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,170
Yeah, that's the one.
270
00:21:04,570 --> 00:21:05,950
I forgot to make a reservation.
271
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:09,670
Well, you just get on the phone, right?
272
00:21:14,170 --> 00:21:17,750
The number is 555 -3671.
273
00:21:30,510 --> 00:21:32,290
Could we just go over there and take pot
luck?
274
00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:34,870
Give me that phone.
275
00:21:40,330 --> 00:21:42,350
This phone is dead.
276
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:44,950
Didn't you hear what happened?
277
00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:49,950
An airplane crashed in this neighborhood
into the water. Not all the guys
278
00:21:49,950 --> 00:21:55,550
thought it was horrible. You forgot to
pay the telephone bill, too?
279
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:59,070
That's all right. Louie always keeps a
table for us.
280
00:21:59,330 --> 00:22:00,330
Let's go.
281
00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:01,829
Just a minute.
282
00:22:01,830 --> 00:22:04,070
I have to go to the little girl's room.
283
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,350
No, no, no. No, Ethel.
284
00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:07,090
What?
285
00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:09,430
Can you hold it till we get to the
restaurant?
286
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:35,220
Boy, that was a great dinner, wasn't it?
Great dinner. I've never been so
287
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:37,360
humiliated in my entire life.
288
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,280
Well, how was I supposed to know the
head waiter's gonna check on my credit
289
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,280
card?
290
00:22:43,660 --> 00:22:47,900
How come you didn't tell me before
dinner that you'd forgotten to make the
291
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,540
payments? You didn't ask.
292
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:51,720
Hey, I look at the bright side.
293
00:22:52,940 --> 00:22:54,140
What bright side?
294
00:22:55,060 --> 00:22:56,600
Hubert got stuck with a check.
295
00:23:11,310 --> 00:23:14,070
Thank you.
22644
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