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1
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,880
Kate, dear, are you all right?
2
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:18,620
Oh, I'm okay. I just can't believe that
my husband, my Theodore, is gone. Oh, I
3
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:19,940
know, I know.
4
00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:23,550
I want to thank you for inviting
everybody here after the funeral.
5
00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:24,890
My pleasure.
6
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:31,850
After all, you are Stanley's aunt, and
it's the least I can do for the family.
7
00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:33,810
That's true.
8
00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:38,330
Hey, dear, have a sandwich. You need to
keep up your strength.
9
00:00:38,650 --> 00:00:39,650
Oh, I'm not hungry.
10
00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:43,030
I had the driver stop on the way to the
cemetery for a pizza.
11
00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:48,420
Oh, I'm just fine.
12
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,120
Wasn't it a beautiful funeral?
13
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,420
Theodore would have loved it if he could
have been there.
14
00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:57,320
He was there.
15
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,420
Your poor Uncle Theodore. Always on the
go.
16
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,660
Always had his hands full.
17
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:05,800
I'm sure he did.
18
00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,440
Daniel, you embarrassed me so at the
funeral.
19
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:15,760
I couldn't help dropping a wreath.
20
00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:18,020
Well, you didn't have to run after it.
21
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,240
Especially since you were one of the
pallbearers.
22
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:25,820
Well, there were five others. They were
all taller than me.
23
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,580
They didn't even notice I was gone.
24
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,900
Kate seems to be taking her loss very
well.
25
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,240
Oh, yes, she is, Uncle Bert.
26
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,860
If you want my opinion, I think it was
Kate that finished him off.
27
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,720
What? She was too demanding.
28
00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:45,120
Physically, if you know what I mean.
29
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,640
Oh, I do.
30
00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:53,540
You don't have to worry, Stanley. You'll
live to be a hundred.
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00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,780
Helen, I had no idea funerals were so
expensive.
32
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,000
Oh, I know.
33
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,480
Does Stanley have enough coverage?
34
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:05,780
I don't know.
35
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:08,639
Helen, it's for your own protection.
36
00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:13,450
If I were you, I'd make sure that
Stanley had plenty of coverage.
37
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:17,370
If life has to go on, let it go on well.
38
00:02:58,270 --> 00:02:59,270
Equal? Three.
39
00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:00,410
Very good.
40
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,910
I had to double park in front of my own
house.
41
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:07,330
Jeffrey, try to be a little
understanding.
42
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:08,670
There's been a funeral.
43
00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:10,070
Mr. Roper?
44
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:12,630
No, a relative.
45
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,030
That's too bad.
46
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:17,870
I'll explain that to you when you're a
little older.
47
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:20,230
Why? Does it have something to do with
sex?
48
00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:26,630
No. No, absolutely not.
49
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:35,670
It's when a bunch of people take up all
your parking spaces to say goodbye to
50
00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:36,670
somebody who's dead.
51
00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:37,730
What's dead?
52
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:45,270
Dead is... It's about time for dinner,
isn't it,
53
00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,310
Ann? No.
54
00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:49,450
Thank you.
55
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:58,410
All right, well, uh... Dead is, uh...
It's when an angel, all in white
56
00:03:58,410 --> 00:04:00,830
with big, beautiful wings...
57
00:04:01,150 --> 00:04:03,890
flies down and takes you back up to
heaven.
58
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,410
What's heaven?
59
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,250
Aha.
60
00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:12,650
Heaven is a wonderful place up in the
clouds.
61
00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:17,230
What's wonderful about it? Oh, because
in heaven you can have all the toys you
62
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:21,550
like and you can eat all the candy you
want and you never get sick.
63
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,370
Can I be dead and go to heaven?
64
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:36,930
Do you know how at the end of the day
you feel tired and it's time to go to
65
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:37,809
sleep? Yeah.
66
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:42,070
Well, it doesn't happen for a long, long
time, but people grow old and they get
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00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:45,030
tired and then it's time for them to
die. That makes sense.
68
00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:53,390
Anybody could have explained it like
that.
69
00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:59,090
Oh, Stanley, you just don't know how to
talk to people.
70
00:04:59,490 --> 00:05:00,490
What?
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00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,780
like funerals or weddings.
72
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,140
I need a drink.
73
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:19,820
Danny, are you insured?
74
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:22,380
Why? I'm only having a small one.
75
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:24,420
I'm serious.
76
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,400
I mean, suppose you got hit by a bus.
77
00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:30,280
It'll run through here.
78
00:05:32,340 --> 00:05:35,840
How do you do? I'm Bill Marsh from
Eternal...
79
00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:43,210
I'm here to see Mrs. Kate Morgan.
80
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,930
Oh, oh, I'm terribly sorry.
81
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:47,890
I'm afraid she's gone.
82
00:05:48,410 --> 00:05:49,950
So soon after her husband?
83
00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,970
No, I mean she... Oh, oh, that's gone.
84
00:05:56,750 --> 00:06:01,030
Well, I just dropped by to give her the
guest book and the sympathy cards. I've
85
00:06:01,030 --> 00:06:02,030
already mailed the bill.
86
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,710
I'll see that she gets them.
87
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,460
Would you like a cup of coffee, you say?
Oh, no, no. I've got to get back.
88
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,680
There's some customers waiting.
89
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,760
Don't you worry. They're not going to
run away.
90
00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:18,160
It was a lovely funeral, Mr. Marsh.
91
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:20,660
Oh, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
92
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:24,720
You know, most people think a funeral
just happens.
93
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:28,540
A couple of cars, a hearse, a hole in
the ground, and that's it. But you've
94
00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:30,000
no idea how much work is involved.
95
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,300
Oh, I'm sure.
96
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,280
Mr. Marsh.
97
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,400
How much does a funeral like that cost?
98
00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:39,860
Can't you wait?
99
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,680
I'm not dead yet.
100
00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:45,400
Oh, is this the loved one?
101
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,600
Not if he doesn't get insurance.
102
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:54,260
Well, when you're ready, I hope you'll
think of us. Oh, I will.
103
00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:55,660
Goodbye now.
104
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,840
Oh, that looks so good. Thank you.
105
00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:02,900
Mr. Roper, I'm sorry about your uncle.
106
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:07,000
I brought you this cake. Oh, thank you
very much. I'll put it in the fridge.
107
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,860
Oh, that's so sweet of you, Ann.
108
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,960
Well, if there's anything else I can do,
you just let me know. Oh, I will. Oh,
109
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000
hey, wait a minute.
110
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,900
Didn't you once tell me that your
husband also sells life insurance?
111
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,299
Yes, he does.
112
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:24,680
Well, would it be okay if Stanley and I
come over and talk to him? Oh, of
113
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,540
course. He'd love to talk to you, but
right now he's outside in the hot tub.
114
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,140
Do you know, we've lived here almost a
month, and we haven't even been to the
115
00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:37,860
swimming pool, much less the hot tub.
Well, you ought to try it. It's fun.
116
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,500
Yeah. It always turns Jeffrey on.
117
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:10,800
My teacher wants me to be alone.
118
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:12,099
We understand.
119
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,440
Come on, Helen. Let's talk. Oh, we
wanted to talk to you about buying some
120
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,440
insurance.
121
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,200
However, there's nothing like group
meditation. Come on in.
122
00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,550
He should be insured for his full value
as a husband.
123
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,870
As little as that?
124
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,550
How about $50 ,000?
125
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,070
Forget it.
126
00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:06,650
Hello, Mr. Brooks. Hello, girls. Linda,
Marilyn, say hello to Mr. and Mrs.
127
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,750
Roper. Hello, hi.
128
00:09:07,790 --> 00:09:10,850
Let's not be so formal. I'm Stanley.
She's Mrs. Roper.
129
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,200
A couple of cookies, huh?
130
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:19,920
No,
131
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,100
it's perfect. It's just right. Come on
in.
132
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:30,780
I may never get out.
133
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:35,800
You'll bring the water to a boil.
134
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:39,920
Now, I'm getting back to insurance,
Roper.
135
00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:44,690
I thought it was my wife.
136
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:50,330
You may need insurance sooner than you
think.
137
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,050
What business are you in, Mr. Rober?
138
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:55,210
Oh, I'm sort of retired.
139
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,130
Really?
140
00:09:57,390 --> 00:09:59,090
You don't look that old.
141
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:02,290
Oh, I'm not. I'm not. I just made a
killing, that's all.
142
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:03,670
In what?
143
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:05,970
Fertilizer.
144
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:07,630
No,
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00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:12,430
he's just kidding. Actually, I told him
a very high -priced piece of property.
146
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,280
Oh, then you can easily afford a $50
,000 policy.
147
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,940
Of course he can. Of course I can.
148
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:24,320
Wait. Can we talk about this some other
time? Oh, what's the matter, Roper? You
149
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,520
afraid you can't pass the physical?
150
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,780
What are you talking about? I'm in
perfect shape from head to toe. Right,
151
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I don't remember.
152
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:36,140
Well, I am. I am. Well, good. It's all
settled. $50 ,000.
153
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:38,720
All you have to do now is give me the
first check for the premium.
154
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,920
Helen, go get him a check. I'll wait
here.
155
00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:45,110
Someone's tickling my feet again.
156
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,360
Medical examinations. They're so
personal.
157
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,560
Telling you to turn your head and cough.
158
00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,640
Just a simple checkup.
159
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,560
You're not having a transplant.
160
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,600
Well, I just don't trust doctors.
161
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,640
They're always telling me there's
nothing wrong with me.
162
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,380
You're a hypochondriac.
163
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,140
That's because they haven't found
anything yet.
164
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,520
Good morning. I'm Dr. Young.
165
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:42,980
Oh, my God.
166
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,560
Everything off?
167
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,520
Everything? Even your garters.
168
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:06,080
You women doctors, to you I'm not really
a man, am I?
169
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,880
Well, I don't know. I haven't seen you
yet.
170
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,460
I said breathe, mister. I am, I am.
171
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,140
Tell me, what's wrong?
172
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,600
Just relax.
173
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:49,620
Oh, by the way, doctor, I, uh, I really
enjoyed Roots.
174
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,280
Really?
175
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,160
You really went through a lot when you
first came here.
176
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,300
UCLA wasn't so bad.
177
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:12,980
It pumps like clockwork.
178
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:18,880
It is pumping, isn't it?
179
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,180
We'll let you know.
180
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,180
What are you going to let me know about
the result of the exam?
181
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,520
They'll notify your insurance agent
within two days.
182
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,420
You're all finished with me then?
183
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,120
Not yet.
184
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,880
Relax. The doctor said I'd hear in two
days.
185
00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:53,840
Well, this is just the second day.
186
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,200
It's bad news, Helen. I just know it's
bad news.
187
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,800
Well, what makes you think that?
188
00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,560
She told me to breathe, and I was
breathing.
189
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,980
She didn't hear me. I was breathing like
this.
190
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:10,720
Oh, I haven't heard you breathe like
that in years.
191
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,800
I'm a sick man, Helen. The pain.
192
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,340
Oh, that's just heartbreak.
193
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:22,330
No, I eat your cooking. I know hard
work.
194
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:26,430
Oh, my God. My God.
195
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:29,390
What? What? What? What is it? My ears.
196
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,050
What's the matter with your ears?
They're clicking.
197
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,109
They're what?
198
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:34,370
They're clicking, like this.
199
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,310
What do you think it is?
200
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,920
Here, take my temperature. I think I got
a temperature.
201
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,060
Hold my... No, no, no, don't do it like
that. Do it like my mother used to do,
202
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:54,919
with your lips.
203
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:55,920
They're more sensitive.
204
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,080
Am I hot?
205
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,340
Not yet, but give me a chance.
206
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,980
You're sweet, and you're totally non
-fattening.
207
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:29,920
Hi, David.
208
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,680
Stay good.
209
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:36,320
Daddy, will you read me a story?
210
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,060
Oh, sure, sure, of course.
211
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:43,560
But, uh, just one story, and then you go
to bed, right, little fella? Yes.
212
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,120
Let's see now.
213
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:47,840
No.
214
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,190
Here's a short one.
215
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,230
I mean, here's a good one.
216
00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:57,930
Billy and his talking bicycle.
217
00:15:58,270 --> 00:15:59,650
Oh, good. I love that one.
218
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,110
Okay, now here we go, David.
219
00:16:03,670 --> 00:16:04,670
Careful,
220
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,770
please. Careful, please.
221
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:16,870
Billy's bicycle was beautiful.
222
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:34,070
beautiful Billy's bicycle had a horn
that went
223
00:16:58,670 --> 00:16:59,670
He thinks I'm an idiot.
224
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:06,890
Yes, hello.
225
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:08,490
Yes, it is.
226
00:17:09,270 --> 00:17:10,270
Oh, that's amazing.
227
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,190
That is amazing.
228
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,030
Yes, thank you.
229
00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:16,349
What's amazing?
230
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:17,790
Roper passed his physical.
231
00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:19,510
Oh, I'm glad.
232
00:17:19,950 --> 00:17:23,210
Did anybody ever tell you that you have
a sexy neck?
233
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,030
You better tell Mr. Roper.
234
00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:26,930
That you have a sexy man.
235
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:30,550
No, that he passes physical. He's been
very anxious to hear.
236
00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:32,810
And I don't think it's fair to keep a
man waiting.
237
00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:34,150
Oh, I'm glad you agree.
238
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,560
I don't trust my eyes.
239
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:07,620
Helen.
240
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:12,380
What is it, dear?
241
00:18:14,220 --> 00:18:16,760
A few things I want to tell you before I
go.
242
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:20,440
I think you have a couple of minutes
left.
243
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,720
I'm going fast.
244
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:28,560
I feel terrible about not telling you
some things that I should have, but
245
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,390
did. What sort of things?
246
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:33,590
Said you're the only woman I ever loved.
247
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:37,110
You're the most wonderful woman in the
world.
248
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:41,790
And my life would have been worthless
without you.
249
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,010
Oh, Stanley.
250
00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:46,590
Oh, that's beautiful.
251
00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:50,490
Even if they aren't true, I should have
told you.
252
00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:59,270
And when you're all well, I'm going to
kill you.
253
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,620
Unless... Nah, it's too late now. Too
late for what?
254
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,180
Nah, never mind. What? What?
255
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,480
Oh,
256
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:18,620
well, all right.
257
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,060
See,
258
00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:26,500
I was reading in that magazine about how
making love is like a miracle drug. It
259
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,200
just puts new life in people.
260
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,620
You mean if we... Well, that's what...
261
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,550
Of course, I'm willing to drive you. I
262
00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:44,390
don't think I can make it to the
bedroom.
263
00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:46,230
I'll carry you. I can manage.
264
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,430
I can manage.
265
00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:51,370
Oh, no, no, no.
266
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:53,630
Look, Stanley, don't move.
267
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,090
Stay right there.
268
00:19:55,490 --> 00:19:56,950
I'll get rid of them.
269
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:00,590
Oh, no.
270
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:02,810
It'll only take one moment. I know, I
know.
271
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,700
Who's Roper? You passed your insurance
exam.
272
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:06,980
I did?
273
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,140
Then I'm all right?
274
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,600
Medically speaking.
275
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,940
I'm going to live, Helen. I'm going to
live.
276
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:17,380
Mr. Brooks, if you don't mind, my
husband and I... Helen, Helen, didn't
277
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:18,380
what he said?
278
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,400
I'm all right.
279
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,080
Now we don't have to.
280
00:20:46,030 --> 00:20:48,590
but the doctor told me this tub is good
for my health.
281
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:51,250
You're not fooling me.
282
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:55,030
You're just waiting for those two girls
to show up.
283
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:56,270
That's not true.
284
00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:57,730
This is purely medicinal.
285
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:00,790
Medicinal, my foot.
286
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:05,530
Are the toothbrushes coming this
morning?
287
00:21:05,790 --> 00:21:06,790
Mm -hmm.
288
00:21:07,310 --> 00:21:09,250
Well, um, here they are now.
289
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:14,610
The Ropers was videotaped in front of a
studio audience.
21429
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