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1
00:00:04,419 --> 00:00:07,360
Oh, baby, those are beautiful.
2
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,780
It's not even our anniversary. Thank
you. Oh, but Cheyenne.
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Don't ruin this perfect moment by
speaking.
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00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:19,900
Still think we'd make a great team.
5
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,140
Baby, we are a great team.
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Sincerely, Steve.
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Steve?
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your dresser sending you flowers again?
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No.
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00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:39,440
Steve Norris, Norris Realty, the guy who
offered me the job, well, he's still
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pursuing me. Flowers, football tickets,
steaks from Kansas City. Oh, man.
12
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,900
You know they want you when they send
meat in the mail.
13
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,740
Wait, but I thought that you turned down
that job. I did, but he keeps calling
14
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:55,140
me. He's called me every day this week,
and I told him, I don't want the
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00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:57,160
luxurious company car or their huge
increase in pay.
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00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,340
How huge? How luxurious?
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00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,720
Oh.
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Enormous. And plush.
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00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,400
The car has heated seats, so when you
sit down, it feels like someone's
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been sitting there.
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00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:18,020
That combines two of your favorite
things, driving and a warm butt.
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00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,940
You must take this job.
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You don't think I know that? Of course I
do. But how are we going to tell your
24
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mother?
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00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:30,150
I mean, she gave you her blessing once.
I'm sure she'll give it to you again.
26
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:34,470
No, but I swore my loyalty to her. And
once you do that, you're in for life.
27
00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,430
Van, look, just talk to her.
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Quit hiding me, woman.
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I know I have to talk to her, but
listen, she has to be in a perfect mood.
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So I thought about this. I'm going to do
it after six, after she's had her first
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tumbler of bourbon.
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00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:52,910
Hey, gang, what's up? Hey, hey,
everything's good. How you doing? What's
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00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:56,890
on? Mom, Van has something that he wants
to talk to you about. Not now, not now.
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00:01:58,960 --> 00:01:59,839
What is it, man?
35
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,840
What?
36
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:05,660
Mom,
37
00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:14,180
Steve Norris has been calling Van again.
38
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What? And they made him a really, really
good offer.
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00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,040
think that he should take it?
40
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,240
Oh, hey, Mrs.
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00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,020
H, can I get you a tumbler of bourbon?
42
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,700
Ben, is this an offer you really want to
take?
43
00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:36,380
Yes,
44
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,100
he does.
45
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,180
We both do.
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00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,880
Well, I hate to lose you.
47
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,520
We've really had some great times
working together, but if this is what
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want, you have my blessings.
49
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,960
Really? You're going to be okay?
50
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,000
Yeah, absolutely.
51
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:59,520
I was fine before I hired you. I'm sure
I'll be fine now.
52
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,380
Well, okay.
53
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,640
Okay, we're not partners anymore.
54
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,720
No more girl talk in the carpool lane.
55
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:18,220
I don't know. I guess it's a
56
00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,420
little harder than I thought it was
going to be.
57
00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:30,600
You're still going to be living.
58
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,130
You think he's annoying, you ought to
meet his wife.
59
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,390
He is so frustrating.
60
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:29,390
You know, sometimes I think you tricked
me into marrying that man.
61
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,130
That would be weird, wouldn't it?
62
00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:38,830
It's just, you know how I've always been
interested in broadcast journalism?
63
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:43,130
Yep. Well, there's this great
opportunity for me at a local cable
64
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:47,310
Channel 34, and Brock doesn't even want
me to apply.
65
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,330
Then go for it.
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00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,470
Really? Absolutely.
67
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:52,890
And literally, I mean, go. Now.
68
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,630
Oh, Ribba, you are so nice.
69
00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:00,230
I'm so lucky.
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00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:04,230
Can you imagine if Brock had been
married to somebody I hated? Oh, I know.
71
00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:12,870
Good morning, Mrs. H. Hey, Van. How are
you? Excited for your first day of the
72
00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:13,870
new job?
73
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,550
Yep. I slept in my outfit.
74
00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,310
Can you tell?
75
00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:19,570
No. Okay.
76
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:22,510
Hey, where's our client list?
77
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,830
Out in the garage. Why? Oh, I'm just
going to call everyone and let them know
78
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:26,830
that I'm switching agencies.
79
00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:27,890
So is it in your desk?
80
00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:29,230
Why would you want to call them?
81
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:32,990
You know what? You're right. You call
them. Just let everyone know that my new
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00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:38,830
website is www
.VanGotAnotherJobAndIsWorkingForAnotherAgency
83
00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:44,250
Van, I'm not going to call my clients
and tell them to call another agency.
84
00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:45,750
Well, then just call my half.
85
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:49,930
They're all my clients, you moron.
86
00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:55,050
You know what, Mrs. H? That's not fair.
I worked really hard to get those
87
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:58,370
people. That folder got fat because of
my closer stare.
88
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:08,190
And as your former boss,
89
00:06:08,490 --> 00:06:11,330
I thank you for that. But I'm keeping my
clients.
90
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,930
You know what? I take back.
91
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,200
My tearful goodbye, and I give you a
sigh of disappointment.
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00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,180
Oh!
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00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,720
And brush your teeth.
94
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,900
Oh, good. You're all here. I want to
show you my audition tape.
95
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,420
Reba, Barbara Jean tells me this was
your idea.
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00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,920
Well, mostly I did it just to get her
out of my kitchen. But if she wants to
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00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,800
something productive with her life, I
think she should, and I think you should
98
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,800
support her.
99
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:52,960
Okay, okay.
100
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,180
Hi,
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00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,940
everyone. I'm your new meteorological
mink, Stormy Clearweather.
102
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,480
Oh, dear.
103
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:13,270
Barbara Jean, I thought you wanted to go
into broadcast journalism.
104
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,090
Right. As the weather girl.
105
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,890
These days, with global warming, we are
the story.
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00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:24,030
This is going to be so good. Do I have
time to call my friends? No.
107
00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:29,650
Barbara Jean, do you even know anything
about the weather?
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00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:30,789
Oh, yes.
109
00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:33,690
I have a special way of knowing when
it's going to rain.
110
00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:38,150
When I was nine, my mom gave me this
bedazzler and...
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00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,680
festooned all the back pockets of my
blue jeans with these beautiful metal
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00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:49,580
studs. And I would wear them every day
until the big lightning storm of 82.
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00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,780
And ever since then, every time it's
going to rain, I get a tingling
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in this area here.
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00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,520
You were struck by lightning.
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00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:06,560
There's the missing piece of the puzzle.
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00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:11,890
You guys have got to see the rest of
this.
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00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:42,460
breaking into your mom's office to steal
her client list makes me nervous.
119
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,360
Every week when we watch that show with
Kiefer Sutherland, you're like, man,
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00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,880
Jack Bauer's so cool. I want to be Jack
Bauer so bad. You are so not Jack Bauer.
121
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,640
Jack Bauer only has to worry about
terrorists.
122
00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:00,120
If he were up against your mother, he
would have to pee, too.
123
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,040
Please, Van.
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00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,580
You would not believe the stuff that I
pulled on Mom.
125
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:09,990
Okay?
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00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:13,290
Like, faking her signature on my report
card.
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00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,550
Really? You were never afraid of your
mother?
128
00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:17,750
No.
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00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:18,930
Wait, see these earrings?
130
00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:20,650
Hers.
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00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:26,010
Yeah, I liked them, so she was sleeping
on the couch one night, and I just stole
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00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:27,010
them right off of her.
133
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:32,270
You know, we are never going to find
this list in the dark.
134
00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:35,390
Oh, thanks.
135
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:05,720
that we're doing this is because you
treated Van unfairly. What exactly did I
136
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:06,720
that was unfair?
137
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:08,280
Free room and board?
138
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:13,360
Complimentary laundry service? The job I
gave him? No, no, those are all good
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00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,360
things.
140
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:20,340
Mom, that client list is just as much
Van's as it is yours.
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00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,260
Porpoise poop.
142
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,640
Do you still believe that?
143
00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:39,380
Yes. Then why wouldn't you want your
family to be represented by the best
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00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:40,400
possible realtor?
145
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,960
What are you saying? That you're the
better realtor?
146
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,660
You really believe that?
147
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:50,060
Well, Steve Norris seems to think so.
That's why they gave him the company
148
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:53,180
It's plush, and I've got a warm tushy.
149
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,800
I don't care if they gave you a
Winnebago. I'm the better realtor.
150
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,020
Afraid not.
151
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,500
I've just come up with a solution to
this little problem, but it won't be
152
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,760
You interested?
153
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,140
Interested like a fuck.
154
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,040
First one to sell a house gets the lift.
155
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:18,680
What's so hard about that?
156
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,920
Not just any house, man. The Jablonski
house.
157
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,500
The Jablonski house?
158
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,760
Yeah.
159
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,840
What's the big deal about the Jablonski
house?
160
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:31,480
Some say it can't be sold.
161
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:33,960
And I'm one of those some.
162
00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:37,830
So, Van, you in or out?
163
00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:39,090
Oh, I'm in.
164
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,050
I'm in like Jack Bauer.
165
00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,290
With a small bladder. Excuse me.
166
00:13:55,530 --> 00:14:02,330
Okay, so here's the living room. It has
two baths and a
167
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,470
kitchen. I think you've seen enough. So
why don't we just go out to the car and
168
00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:05,470
talk deal? Oh.
169
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:08,490
Um, okay, well, the house seems pretty
good, but this is the fastest tour that
170
00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:11,350
I've ever been on. Well, it's my
philosophy that a house fills itself in
171
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,590
first three minutes, so why stick
around?
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00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:16,470
Let's jog to the car. Come on. Can I see
the bathroom? No, no, no, we gotta
173
00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:17,470
leave.
174
00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:26,190
Sure, today you're on time.
175
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:40,300
positive side if you like those little
bags of peanuts and little bottle of
176
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,320
whiskey. It's right around the corner.
177
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,580
Good luck.
178
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,920
Thank you.
179
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:49,840
Crap.
180
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,500
Whoa, what's the matter, Mr. H?
181
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,560
Clients seem to be in a hurry. Oh, yeah.
182
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,120
Must have had a plane to catch.
183
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:04,200
Laugh it up, funny boy. I'll find me a
client to sell this house to. Well, it
184
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,520
better be quick because I think I found
someone who's interested.
185
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,760
Mr. McGuire. This is Mrs. H.
186
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,220
Hi. Mr.
187
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,980
McGuire is looking for a house for his
father.
188
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,400
So what do you think?
189
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,440
Seems all right.
190
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,560
Needs a little work, but I think my
dad's really going to like it. Oh, yeah?
191
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000
Just wait.
192
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,780
What do you think you'll say about it
now?
193
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,540
I don't know.
194
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:35,300
Dad. Dad. Dad.
195
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:36,780
What do you think?
196
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:38,830
Do you want to live here?
197
00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:45,230
He said that... I know what he said. I
ain't blind.
198
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,570
Why don't you guys take a look at the
backyard?
199
00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:54,630
It's got a beautiful tomato garden.
They're huge because of the jet fuel.
200
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,010
Oh, looks like I win.
201
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:01,670
Lift, please.
202
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:04,570
You know what, Ben? I think this whole
contest was ridiculous.
203
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,900
Just because you got lucky enough to
find a client who is deaf doesn't mean
204
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:09,900
you're better than me.
205
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,260
Wow.
206
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:16,120
I never thought I'd see the day that
Mrs. H is jealous of me.
207
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,100
I'm not jealous.
208
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:22,720
If you're not jealous, why are you
acting so crazy about this client list?
209
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,120
Because I'm scared.
210
00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:27,740
Scared of what?
211
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,340
Sam, when I brought you on board, I
thought I had to carry your weight.
212
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,660
Turned out that you're great.
213
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,440
I actually started relying on you, and
it scares me to lose you.
214
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:51,540
You know what, Mrs. H? You take the
list. No.
215
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:52,720
No, and I want you to have it.
216
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,760
I'm young and vibrant, and you're...
217
00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:02,460
Take the list.
218
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,980
No, you take it.
219
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:08,460
You got this brand new job and I want
you to hit the ground running. Then
220
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,179
split it.
221
00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:10,579
That way you'll only be half scared.
222
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:12,619
I'll take the other half.
223
00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:13,980
And you know what?
224
00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:15,980
I'm scared too.
225
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:19,280
Oh, Van, you don't have to be scared.
You can do it.
226
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,859
Well, if I can do it, it's because you
taught me everything I know.
227
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,300
You're really something, Van.
228
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:29,120
Yeah.
229
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,800
No, I mean it.
230
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,860
You know, there's something I've been
meaning to tell you for a long time, but
231
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,280
thought I couldn't tell you because I'd
cry.
232
00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:55,420
You will remember these words for the
rest of your life.
233
00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:05,350
Well, all I can say is, right back at
ya.
234
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:10,250
I hope you remember this little talk.
235
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,170
Don't look at me.
236
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:29,970
Okay, Henry, well, I've explained to you
how all the pieces move. Now, the other
237
00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:34,470
thing about chess is that sometimes a
game can take a long time. Are you okay
238
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,129
with that?
239
00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:37,030
Okay. Okay, great. You want to go first?
240
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,230
Yeah. Go.
241
00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:40,850
No, no, no, you don't, you don't.
242
00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:43,270
Hey, you win.
243
00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:44,630
Okay.
244
00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:47,630
Hey, honey, where you been?
245
00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:49,350
I went for a drive.
246
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:51,950
I heard back from the station about my
tape.
247
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:53,530
Oh.
248
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:57,020
Hey, buddy, here. Why don't you take
these guys upstairs and play army, okay?
249
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,580
Hey, sweetie.
250
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:07,640
Look, I know I haven't exactly seemed
supportive about this thing or phase
251
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:08,640
you're going through.
252
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,180
Brock, this is not a phase.
253
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,500
Speaking Klingon was a phase.
254
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:23,060
Pronouncing my name Barbara Jean, that
was a phase. This is a dream that I
255
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,490
What? To stand in front of a camera and
dump water on yourself?
256
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:29,210
It's not going to rain every day, Brock.
257
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:35,150
Why are you so threatened by this? I am
not threatened.
258
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,590
Yes, you are.
259
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:40,710
It's like ever since I lost the weight,
you want to keep me bottled up here at
260
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,790
the house. I'm just worried about you.
261
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:48,250
What? Honey, I'm trying to protect you.
Come on. That tape was a little over the
262
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:50,310
top. I mean, nobody's going to take you
seriously.
263
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:51,830
Oh.
264
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:53,450
Well, then.
265
00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:56,710
I guess I better go call them and tell
them that they made a mistake.
266
00:19:57,390 --> 00:19:59,390
What? Oh, I got the job.
267
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,030
You got the job? Oh, shh.
268
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:05,670
This just in.
269
00:20:06,110 --> 00:20:08,790
Looks like you're going to have to put
an extra blanket on the bed tonight.
270
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:11,090
There's a cold front coming through.
271
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:12,670
Oh,
272
00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:14,609
whoa, whoa, whoa.
273
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:19,650
Oh, and my butt -rometer said it's going
to linger.
21490
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