All language subtitles for reba_s04e18_reba_s_rules_of_real_estate

Reba, I got your message that you wanted
to see me.

This is the first time that's ever
happened.

I got you a card.

I need your help.

That is so wonderful.

Oh, I should have got a second card.

Monday morning, I have a job interview
with Dolly Majors.

Dolly Majors?

The real estate agent whose face is on
every bus bench in town?

Oh, Reba, she is bigger than that
lawyer, Mr. Accidente.

I know, and since you're my only real
estate client, I need a letter of

recommendation. Oh, I'd love to.

Oh, I already have three poems about you
that I could use.

Reba's hair is red.

Violets are blue.

If Brock ever left me, I'd marry you.

I took the liberty and typed something
up. All you need to do is sign it. Okay.

And you can leave off the smiley unicorn
if you don't mind.

I'm on it. Go on. Stop.

Jake, get in here. Give it first. Go on.

Give that to me.

Jake, how many times do I have to tell
you not to throw things in the house?

get outside and play.

But the sun.

letter is so cold and impersonal.

It sounds like we hardly even know each
other.

I know.

This doesn't fully represent what is in
my heart, so if you don't mind, I'm

going to give it the Barbara Jean touch.

Had to call her. Had to invite her over.

You got rocks in your head, Reba. That's
what you got.

I'm serious, Barbara Jean. This
interview is huge, and I only have two

get ready for it.

Dolly Major.

But, but I thought the interview was
Monday.

Rule one of real estate, expect the
unexpected.

I like to schedule an interview one day
and then just pop in on another.

I tell Miss Riebel you're here.

With gentle hands and the heart of a
fighter, I'm a

survivor.

It is okay that I popped in, isn't it?
Oh yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's just that

I'm not dressed and the house is a mess.

Couldn't we schedule a time for you to
pop in?

So far, you're as jumpy as a flea on a
hot breeze.

No, I'm fine. Come in. Sit down.

I'm sorry the house is so messy.

I have kids.

Reba! She's not one of them.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

If you don't leave now, this will be the
moment you'll regret for the rest of

your life.

Hi.

I'm Barbara Jean.

Dolly Majors.

It's like looking in a tiny mirror.

Yeah.

Dolly popped in just as you were popping
out. Bye -bye now.

Are you kidding?

This is perfect.

Why write a letter when I can give Dolly
my recommendation in person?

Because you're less crazy on paper than
you are in person.

Now, Dolly.

Reba sold a condo for us, and I just
have to tell you, she's the best real

estate agent in the world. Well, that is
good to know.

She's not through talking.

Now, Brock and I wanted to help her out
after she lost her job. She didn't

actually lose it. She got fired.

She called her boss a monkey's butt.

She's kind of got a little problem with
her temper.

I bet you dollars to donuts this would
not have come up in my office on Monday.

Diane, quit nagging me about not
working. I just got paid $25. That means

selling my blood counts as a job.

And who is this ambitious young man?

I'm Van. I'm a little dizzy.

Oh, my gosh. It's Dolly Majors. This is
so weird. Mom has an interview with you

on Monday.

It's been rescheduled to right now.

Oh, okay, well, we'll get out of your
hair. Thank you. Yeah, we don't want to

blow this for you, because let's face
it, it's a long shot anyway.

You know, we are just so appreciative
that you've given her this interview. I

mean, who else would give a woman her
age with no experience a chance?

Knock them dead, Mrs. H. Yeah, good
luck.

Sorry about that, doll.

Yeah, she's fallen prey to the rock and
roll lifestyle.

Man, tell Kira to knock it off.

Kira, turn down that devil music!

Sorry about that, Dolly.

Well, you wanted to pop in and see the
real me, so this is it.

It's also the reason if you hire me,
I'll never go home.

Rule two of real estate, be yourself,
Hicks.

I have an Uncle Floyd that can spit his
glass eye in the air and catch it on the

second bounce.

Well, Dolly, she should be herself
because she is great.

She's Reba.

She's unbelievable.

You know, I only wish she'd been a real
estate agent when I bought my house down

the street.

Wait. You did not buy that old colonial
house with the bad... Uh, never mind.

The bad what?

Is there something wrong with my house?

Oh, my God. Is it the roof?

Is it the plumbing?

Oh, toxic mold. Oh, my gosh. I've seen
that movie. That stuff can come to life.

Maybe I should sell my house.

Call me.

Oh, it's still warm.

If she moves, I'll work for you for
free.

Rule three of real estate, always look
for the sale.

Well, I just happen to be very good at
that. I'm a natural -born salesperson.

Really? Yeah. Well, I've been here five
minutes, and so far you haven't tried to

sell me anything.

I'd sell you my kids, but nothing.

I'd sell you my kids.

But I kind of used the house to live in.

Oh, I know that. It's a test.

You want to sell, start selling.

My record to make a sale is 30 seconds.

Go. You're kidding, right? Time's a
-wasting. The little diamonds catching

the big diamonds.

Okay.

I'm not going to sell you this house.
No?

No. Anybody can sell you a house.

What I'm selling is a place to raise
your children.

A place where memories are made.

A place to grow, to love, to live.

No, ma 'am, I don't sell houses. My name
is Reba Hart, and I sell homes. And if

I had a card, I'd pull one out of my
breast and give it to you.

Rule four, get to their hearts, not
their brains. You got the job.

And you are going to be the prettiest
woman in the office. Oh, second to you.

Hey, we're not comparing apples and
melons here.

But I got the job. I got the job right

here in my living room in my sweatpants.

You know what? We should celebrate.

I've been chilling a bottle of champagne
just in case something good happens.

It's a few years old, but it's still
bubbly.

Yeah.

Hey, Mom.

I was outside playing with sticks like
some kind of cave boy.

When I saw this on the porch with my
name on it.

That's from me. I heard Reba had a boy
my grandson's age, so I brought you

something. That is so nice of you, but
you shouldn't have.

A weapon!

Cool!

Oh, boy.

A baby gun for a ten -year -old boy.

You really shouldn't have.

I learned to shoot when I was five.

How do you think my Uncle Floyd got that
glass eye?

I'm just kidding. Kids are so
overprotected these days, don't you

Can I keep it, Mom?

I want to shoot a can off Van Tad.

Well, I don't know.

Please?

Reba, one of my greatest joys is giving
presents. You are not going to deny your

new boss joy, are you?

Of course not. What I was going to say
is I don't know any better way of

celebrating than with a glass of
champagne and gunfire.

Uh, honey, I'm going to keep the BBs and
you take your gun upstairs and memorize

all the instructions in English and in
Spanish.

Golly, make yourself at home. My house
is your house.

Just don't sell it, okay?

Mom, Ben just came into the garage and
told my man to shut up. Yeah? I write a

song about it.

Here, honey, I just need you to stop
playing long enough for me to get this

which I got.

Way to go, Mom.

Had to do it. Was it pity?

It was pity, wasn't it? You are so lucky
people pity you.

Hey, guys, go out and keep Dolly company
while I get the champagne. Okay.

Mom, seriously, my band has a gig
tonight, and you said we could practice

Oh, honey, yeah, I did, but in my
defense, I'd had wine with dinner.

Can't you practice over at your dad's?
Not since Barbara Jean learned the words

to our song.

And bought a tambourine.

Well, look, you don't need to practice
your music. Just work on your attitude.

You know, how you hate authority.

Well,

I gotta tell you, Dolly, getting this
job is a dream come true.

Oh, we're excited, too.

Look at me. I'm shaking.

Who's ready to celebrate? We are. We're
buying a house.

You sold Van and Cheyenne a house? Yes.

It's another major sell by Dolly. That's
her slogan.

You wouldn't believe where she keeps it.

Dolly, how did this happen?

I don't know.

Somehow the subject of real estate came
up. Yeah, and then she remembered this

house that was perfect for a young
couple. Then I said, we're a young

and the next thing you know, we're a
young couple of homeowners.

But you hadn't even seen it yet. Oh, we
don't need to see it, Mom. The way Dolly

described it, it was like we were there.

I just love the entryway.

Uh -huh, uh -huh. Well, have you given
any thought to how you're going to pay

for it?

We're not clueless. Whatever's left of
my football settlement will go to the

down payment.

Okay, what about the mortgage and
insurance?

This is age.

Red gold.

Yeah, but still, a new house is very
expensive.

Reba, it's not a house. It's a home.
It's a place to grow, to love, to live.

And putting young couples in a home of
their own is another one of my great

joys.

Well, who knew there'd be so much joy
here today?

Reba, why would you tell Barbara Jean
that our house is going to come to life

Edith's?

It wasn't Reba. It was her.

Hi, I'm Dolly Major.

Don't we look like twins separated at
birth?

Dolly, this is my ex -husband, Brock.

No.

You can't be old enough to have two
teenage daughters.

Well, I work out.

Anyway, about our house. Oh, speaking of
houses.

Van and Cheyenne are buying a house of
their own. Isn't that great?

Don't stop by without calling first.

Reba, can we see you in the kitchen?

Sure. This is such a happy occasion.
We're going to need more champagne.

Or something stronger.

Seriously, you could be my mini -me.

Reba, why didn't you stop that woman?

Because she's Dolly Major. She's
unstoppable.

Oh, come on. She's only human. With a
smile that could light up Broadway.

She's my new boss.

If I ruin that sale, I could lose the
job I haven't even started yet.

Well, we have to do something. We can't
let those two buy a house.

Brock, you're the father.

Get in there and forbid them from buying
that house.

Oh, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Be careful. Dolly's smart. Oh, yeah?

And what am I?

Be really careful.

And don't worry about furniture. You
just borrow more than the house is worth

and then spend the extra money on
whatever else you need.

We should borrow three million dollars.

We'll be rich.

All right, Van, that's enough. Cheyenne,
your mother is completely supportive of

this deal.

But as your father, I'm afraid I'm
against it. You keep saying it and I

believe it's true. You are... Actually,
her father.

Well, if you're saying nice job on the
moisturizing, thank you.

Why don't we talk about this over a
glass of champagne?

Not that you need any more sparkle in
those blue eyes.

Well, I guess one glass couldn't hurt.

Man, I hope Brock can handle this.

Sometimes when he gets around chesty
blondes, his brain goes on the fritz.

I'm not worried about her.

When you got a big gulp at home, you
don't go looking to sit from a thimble.

know what I'm saying?

Well, how'd it go?

Great. We're buying a vacation home.

What? Oh, my gosh. Is it a beach house?
Can I sunbathe a la mode?

Brock, how did this happen? I don't
know.

Her voice took me to a place where the
angels live.

With golf course accent.

Okay, clearly this situation needs to be
handled by the only person here with a

lick of sense.

Is someone coming over, Reba?

Me. Now get out of here before she sells
you a piece of the moon.

Yeah, come on, Barbara Jean.

Let's find a map and figure out where
Costa Rica is.

and sublease warehouse space and have a
place for my band to practice whenever I

want. You betcha. How much did you
allow?

Kara, you silly.

You don't need a warehouse, honey. My
garage is always open. But you said... I

said get out there in the garage and
rock and roll, dude.

It's getting late. We better go sign
those offer papers.

Boy, this sure does bring back memories.

You know, I remember my first new home.

Of course, your dad and I had jobs and
were making money, but still, there were

a hundred things that could go wrong.
You know, like a leaky roof and the

plumbing and ants. Oh, Lordy, those
ants.

What about spiders?

Oh, Lordy, those spiders.

I hate spiders.

But you love the entryway.

Yes, I do.

Oh, Cheyenne, I'm having conflicting
thoughts.

You know I only like to have one.

Honey, maybe we should just take our
time and think about that. I think she's

right. You two should not jump into
buying a house.

They shouldn't? Of course not. They
should consult other professionals in

area. I think that's a good idea. Like
you, Reba. I think that's a bad idea.

Don't get shy on me now. I consider you
a valued employee, even though we

haven't signed the papers yet.

I'm happy with the sale. Van's happy.

But I want to know if you're happy.

You think it's okay, Mom?

Well, I'd have to say... I memorized El
Manuel?

Can I have the beanie and a pumpkin?

No.

Can't have a beanie gun?

Can't wing a frisbee in the house?

Were you ever a kid?

And no on the house, too.

What? But, Mrs. H., I've already
decorated it in my mind.

At least let me have the jungle room.

Look, I've been letting everybody do
stuff that they shouldn't do just

didn't want to go up against Dolly.

But that stops now.

You know what?

She's right.

We're way too young to be grown -ups.
Come on, let's go play with our baby.

You call that an entryway?

So I guess I should just give this back
to you.

I'm just going to hold it.

You just cost me a sale, Reba.

Well, Dolly, selling is important.

So are people.

And I don't think I could sell to
anyone, especially my kids.

I didn't think it was a good idea, even
if it meant I wasn't going to get the

job. Well, I thought you might feel that
way. I knew when I walked in that door,

you were a person that cared about
family. And that's why I was testing

You were what?

It was another test. I do that.

You got me again.

You were testing to see if I had
character and integrity and the backbone

stand up to my boss.

And you've got more backbone than a beer
-battered catfish.

Excuse me. Reba, you are amazing.

I mean, life throws you cow patties and
you grow a garden.

But hey, this is business.

It's a business I started in my garage
and built into the biggest real estate

empire in Houston.

I don't need a good person. I need a
shark.

You're right. I'm not a shark.

I'm more like one of those cute little
fish in Finding Nemo.

I tell you what, I'm going to recommend
you to any other agency in town.

Maybe a few years might put some rough
edges on you, and then you can come talk

to me. Oh, thank you very much. Hey,
maybe one of these days I'll sell you a

house.

Oh,

I just love your sense of humor.

Bye -bye.

Yeah, I'm starting to see the
resemblance between her and Barbara