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1
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Hey, man.
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Is Weeba here? I have got big, big news.
3
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Tell me. Oh, I can't. It's too personal.
4
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:25,970
Too personal? Barbara Jean, you're my
stepmother -in -law. Partial grandmother
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00:00:25,970 --> 00:00:28,930
to my child, the woman that I may one
day have to put in a home.
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00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:32,670
You put me in a home? In a heartbeat.
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That is so sweet.
8
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But no.
9
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Oh, great.
10
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,480
All right, now, Goot, I don't know how
much longer I can hold this in. Fine, no
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home for you. You can forget about
pudding and you can diaper yourself.
12
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,620
Okay, Reba, I have got huge news.
13
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Huge. Barbara Jean, I've had a long, bad
day.
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And the last thing I want to do is sit
here and pretend that I'm interested in
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00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,300
anything you have to say.
16
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That's also true on a good day.
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I have a crush on my marriage.
counselor.
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Tell me.
19
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,570
Hey!
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00:01:46,570 --> 00:01:51,030
Barbagine has the hots for her marriage
counselor. Shut up. No, you shut up. No,
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you shut up. I'm serious. They'll hear
us.
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00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:56,970
Oh, Reba, Dr.
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Morgan is so dreamy. And I know he's
paid to listen, but the way he hangs on
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every word, it's like he's doing it for
free.
25
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,750
Okay, clearly, you've got to stop seeing
the man.
26
00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:15,210
Oh, I can't. I already made Brock fire
our last two counselors.
27
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If I do it again, he's going to ask why.
28
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What am I going to say? Oh, I can't look
at him without purring.
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Talk it over with Dr.
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Morgan. I'm sure he's dealt with this
kind of situation before.
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Okay. All right, I will.
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Will you go with me?
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No. Reba, please.
34
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I can't do this alone.
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I'm weak.
36
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People only think I'm strong because I'm
tall.
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I understand.
38
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Just like they all think you're crazy.
Because you are.
39
00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,830
Hey, Mom, what you doing?
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Yeah, is there anything interesting
going on? Because there's nothing going
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00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:58,150
here. No.
42
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:03,130
You can cut the act. I know you guys
were listening.
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Oh, good. It's so hard for me to
convince people I don't know anything.
44
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:13,130
Mom, you have to go down there with
Barbara Jean.
45
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:15,530
Wow, all she has to do is go talk to the
man.
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Even she can do that.
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00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:17,989
No, no, no.
48
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:22,230
Talking is exactly how you get yourself
into trouble. Eventually, you run out of
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words and the clothes start flying.
50
00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:27,030
If we had better vocabularies, you
wouldn't be a grandma.
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00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,630
Nothing is going to happen between them.
52
00:03:32,910 --> 00:03:36,230
Well, maybe not, but what could happen
is that Barbara Jean says it the wrong
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way and it somehow gets back to Dad.
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00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:41,070
Their marriage is in a fragile place
right now.
55
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,780
Everything could be lost if Barbara Jean
starts dating.
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00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:52,240
Mom, you've got to go down there with
her.
57
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:55,060
Why? When did Barbara Jean become my
responsibility?
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When your husband married her.
59
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:06,600
Look, Mom, Barbara Jean needs your help,
and if you don't go down there with
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00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,640
her, we will.
61
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,280
Yeah, we will.
62
00:04:10,190 --> 00:04:14,030
And I can't promise you if things get
heated up, I won't open up a can of
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00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,910
-ass on Dr. Delicious.
64
00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:24,430
Don't make him open up the can, Mom.
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Not a good enough reason.
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00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:29,630
Fine.
67
00:04:30,130 --> 00:04:35,990
But all I know is the better she gets
along with Dad, the less she's over
68
00:04:37,890 --> 00:04:39,070
Now that's a good enough reason.
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00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:51,250
weird, isn't it?
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00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:53,090
Reba, I don't want him to think I'm
weird.
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00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:56,650
Barbara Jean, the man deals with
crackpots and head cases all day.
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He could seem normal anywhere he'd be
here.
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00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:02,010
Oh, thanks, Reba.
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00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,690
You always know what to say.
75
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:07,110
Speaking of, what are you going to say
to him?
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00:05:07,370 --> 00:05:09,630
I was thinking I'd start with, run for
the hills.
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I'm not going to say anything.
78
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:14,890
I'm just long for the ride.
79
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,370
Oh, but you have to.
80
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:21,500
Just seeing him gets me all tongue -tied
and giggly. Oh, for the love of grits
81
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,600
and gravy, Barbara Jean, you're a grown
woman.
82
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,380
Quit acting like a little silly. Yum.
83
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,520
I know.
84
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,420
He's like orange chicken for the eyes.
85
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:39,080
Well, hey, Barbara Jean.
86
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This is an unexpected pleasure.
87
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,040
Oh, for me, too.
88
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Every time's a pleasure.
89
00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:49,950
Well, you know, I don't mean a pleasure.
90
00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:52,490
Pleasure. You know, like a treasure.
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00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:55,650
I just mean pleasure.
92
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:59,250
Oh, my gosh. Why can't I stop saying
that word?
93
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:06,350
Hi, I'm Reba Hart. I just came along to
keep her from babbling.
94
00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:08,230
I've let her down.
95
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,230
Hi, I'm Jack Morgan.
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00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:12,610
It's nice to meet you.
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You too.
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00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:16,940
Okay, Reba, you can go now.
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What?
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00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:21,460
Two seconds ago, you wanted me to do all
the talking. Well, yes.
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00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,860
That was before you started acting like
I just introduced you to Davy Jones of
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00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:26,860
the Monkees.
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00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:31,540
I'm sorry. Is there something going on I
should know about?
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00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:32,880
Ask her.
105
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,300
Well,
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00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:42,280
it's funny, really.
107
00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:52,590
I just, uh, I, uh, I think, I think
you're... Oh, God, you smell good.
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What she's trying to say is she has a
problem because she is attracted to you.
109
00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:01,590
Oh, you do smell good.
110
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:11,070
Okay, no, I see. Barbara Jean, I know
you love Brock.
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I really do. I'm evil, that's all.
112
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,680
No, you're going through something
called transference. That's when
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your situation becomes attracted to
their therapist.
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Even some of the nerdy doctors get it.
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So, so I'm not bad?
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You don't want to punish me?
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Trust me. No, no, you're a good person.
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But since you're still flirting with me,
I should probably refer you and Brock
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00:07:49,590 --> 00:07:53,570
to somebody else. So I'll tell Brock
that it's because I've taken on too
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00:07:54,610 --> 00:08:00,190
Doctor, you are a wonderful, wonderful
man.
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Oh, God.
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She took my gum.
123
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,220
You know, you handle that pretty well.
124
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:38,620
Oh, thanks. It does happen to therapists
quite a bit. I've had patients fall for
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me before.
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00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,000
I bet.
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00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:45,800
I mean, yeah, people are weak. I guess I
better go.
128
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,420
Dr. Morgan, go ahead. No, please, you.
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Go first.
130
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,700
Well, I was just wondering, since you're
not seeing Brock and Barbara Jean
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anymore, maybe I could take their spot.
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Oh, you're married.
133
00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:58,660
No, no, I'm not even seeing anyone.
134
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,840
Yet you feel the need for marriage
counseling.
135
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:05,479
Silly me.
136
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,780
No, I just thought it would be neat for
you and I to kind of sit down and chat,
137
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,060
either here or in a dimly lit Italian
restaurant, either way.
138
00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:15,540
Are you asking me out?
139
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:17,560
Or do you actually want to see me as a
patient?
140
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,330
What do you suggest? You're the doctor.
141
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,090
Well, if you're asking to see me as a
patient, you pay. If you're asking me
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I pay.
143
00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:27,230
Oh, good. Let's go with the second.
144
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,610
Oh, Cheyenne, there you are.
145
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:42,770
Hey, I need you to do me some favors.
146
00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:48,030
I need you to switch the laundry, watch
Jake tonight, and pick up some milk at
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the store.
148
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,980
Why? Because I sold the cow for some
magic beans.
149
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:56,180
No, no, no. I mean about watching Jake.
What are you doing tonight?
150
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,080
I have a date.
151
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,320
A date?
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00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,560
You don't date.
153
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,720
Yes, I do.
154
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:08,020
Theoretically.
155
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:09,920
Who is it?
156
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,500
Is it the butcher with the lazy eye?
157
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,800
No. The delivery guy with the hump?
158
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,500
His name is Dr. Morgan, and for your
information, he's prettier than me.
159
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:22,740
Dr. Morgan.
160
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:25,520
Dr. Morgan, where do I know that name
from?
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00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:26,740
It'll come to you.
162
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:33,120
Hey, Mrs. H, what's next? Dr. Morgan,
she is dating Dad and Barbara Jean's
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marriage counselor.
164
00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:35,740
Is that true?
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00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,420
Yes.
166
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,540
But in my defense, he's very hot.
167
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,200
Well, does she know?
168
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,319
Does who know?
169
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,060
Don't play dumb with me.
170
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,400
I practically invented that. You know
who.
171
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,920
Barbara Jean, did you ask her if it's
okay?
172
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,139
Why should I?
173
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,620
Barbara Jean didn't get my permission
when she dated Brock.
174
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:03,540
So you're saying you're no better than
Barbara Jean?
175
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:12,580
Try not asking her now.
176
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,310
Wish I could trade you kids for some
magic beans.
177
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:31,169
Hey, Brock.
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00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:32,170
Hey, Reba.
179
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:34,490
What you doing, washing your wig?
180
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,150
Seriously, you and the dog have the same
hair.
181
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,310
Oh, hey, Reba. Hey.
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00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:45,710
Oh, don't. They just look adorable.
183
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:50,290
My little precious and my big precious.
184
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:56,350
It was then he realized that masculine
feeling would never return.
185
00:11:57,990 --> 00:11:59,370
So, Reba, what brings you by?
186
00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:02,170
Well, I just wanted to come by and tell
you something.
187
00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:03,510
I have a date.
188
00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:06,030
Oh, way to go, hot stuff.
189
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:08,110
Is it the butcher with the lazy eye?
190
00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:12,770
No.
191
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,040
Oh, Reba, it's not Harry the Hump.
192
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:17,860
It's Dr. Morgan.
193
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,520
Barbara Jean, are you okay?
194
00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:27,060
Yeah, I'm fine. I just lost the feeling
in my head there for a second.
195
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:29,900
You know how it does.
196
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,500
So you okay with this?
197
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,620
Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, of course.
198
00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:37,620
I'm fine, yeah.
199
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:41,500
I mean, why would I care that you're
going to go out with my man?
200
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,320
You know, our counselor.
201
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:54,620
There is just one tiny little problem,
though.
202
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:55,860
Yeah, what's that?
203
00:12:56,140 --> 00:12:57,140
He's gay.
204
00:12:57,220 --> 00:13:01,500
What? Oh, Brock, he's not gay. Of course
not. Why would you say something stupid
205
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,620
like that? Oh, please, look at the guy.
206
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:06,680
Stylish haircut, killer smile, tan.
207
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,640
Seems like a guy who's a little too into
his appearance.
208
00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:13,220
Oh, great.
209
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,900
Now my hands are all wrinkled from this
stupid bath.
210
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,520
So, anyhow, I just wanted to come by and
tell you about my date.
211
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,160
Like you don't have a problem with it.
212
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:28,700
Rock, honey, I got a little headache.
Could you give me some aspirin? Oh,
213
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:29,760
sure, honey. Okay.
214
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,320
I've got to get some hand cream anyway.
215
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:32,620
Right.
216
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:38,200
Well, so you finally got me, huh? You
paid me back.
217
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,560
I took your man, so now you're going to
take mine?
218
00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:44,830
I didn't take your man. You already have
one. That's all you get. They're not
219
00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:45,830
collectibles.
220
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,750
You were never my friend, were you?
221
00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:54,050
You just wanted to keep me close until
the day you could deliver your
222
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,050
blow.
223
00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,430
Well, congratulations, Peaches.
224
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:00,530
You killed something today.
225
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:03,750
My respect for you. Oh, Barbara. Oh, no,
no, no.
226
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:07,890
You don't get to call me by my first
name. No, that is reserved for my friend
227
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,590
and people doing roll call.
228
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,440
Here you go, honey.
229
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,580
Did I miss something?
230
00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:22,140
No, no, I was just letting you know how
happy I am about her date.
231
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,780
Yeah, we all are.
232
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:27,580
Are you crazy?
233
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,580
You can't go out with Dr. Morgan.
234
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,220
Barbara Jean likes him.
235
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,140
You knew?
236
00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:36,380
Well, of course I knew.
237
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,340
My wife is many things. Subtle is not
one of them.
238
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:41,850
Then why did you say he was gay?
239
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:44,330
Oh, I just like to needle her.
240
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:46,669
Oh, great.
241
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:49,030
Now I have dog hair all over my favorite
sweater.
242
00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,550
So you don't have a problem with this?
243
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:57,650
Please. Barbara Jean loves me. She would
never do anything. She has crushes all
244
00:14:57,650 --> 00:14:58,650
the time.
245
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:02,510
Besides, do I look like a guy who would
feel threatened by anyone?
246
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,670
So if she has a new crush every week,
why can't I go out with the guy?
247
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,640
It's not about him and Barbara Jean.
It's about you and Barbara Jean.
248
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,620
Look, if you ask her what quality she
admires most in a person, she'll say
249
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:20,880
loyalty. And if you ask her what person
has that quality most, she'll say it's
250
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:21,879
Reba.
251
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,420
She looks up to you, and she would be
devastated if she thought you betrayed
252
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:29,420
her. I'm not betraying her. I know. You
have every right to do this. I'm just
253
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,720
telling you it will really hurt Barbara
Jean.
254
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:37,120
As far as she's concerned, she would
never, ever go out with a guy that you
255
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,120
liked.
256
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,560
Now. Now! She wouldn't go out with a guy
you like now.
257
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,280
Ah, you've got a beautiful house.
258
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:55,740
Thanks.
259
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,240
You want to come in? I'm pretty sure my
parents are asleep.
260
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:03,100
Hey. Hey. Looks like your mom waited up.
261
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,820
Sweetheart, what are you doing here? I
thought Cheyenne was babysitting.
262
00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,610
She wanted me to cover for her and
something about a sale at the mall and
263
00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:12,870
I mind making up a story for Mom.
264
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:15,070
So anyway, she's studying.
265
00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:17,850
Here, this is Dr. Morgan.
266
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:19,670
Hey, nice to meet you.
267
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:22,070
Wow. Has Dad seen him?
268
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:25,410
I used to be his marriage counselor.
269
00:16:27,730 --> 00:16:28,890
Someday I'm going to write a book.
270
00:16:32,430 --> 00:16:35,330
Well, that was a great restaurant you
picked. Haven't had Chinese in a while.
271
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,490
Ah, well, for some reason I had a...
272
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,860
craving for orange chicken.
273
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:45,060
I had a terrific time tonight.
274
00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:46,340
Yeah, me too.
275
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:53,600
Woo! That was just almost one of those
kissing moments, wasn't it?
276
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,280
I'm sorry. It was too fast.
277
00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:59,660
No, no, no. No, I should be sorry.
278
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,580
I keep thinking about Barbara Jean.
279
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:08,960
It's just, she likes me so much.
280
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:12,099
I like you, too.
281
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,640
Oh, boy, that was good.
282
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,860
That was kind of... Hoping that would
stink.
283
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,600
That was mostly just my lower lip.
284
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:49,240
I just can't do this. I can't do this to
Barbara Jean. It would hurt her too
285
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,780
much. I mean, people only think she's
strong because she's so tall.
286
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:57,020
I understand.
287
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:58,380
It's just not fair.
288
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:02,420
I really like you. And I like you, too.
And the thing is, it shows what a good
289
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,360
person you are, which makes me like you
even more.
290
00:18:22,090 --> 00:18:23,590
Oh, I wish I was bad.
291
00:18:26,630 --> 00:18:27,630
Yeah, I do too.
292
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,490
I had a great time tonight.
293
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:35,310
Don't leave her!
294
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:40,050
Barbara Jean?
295
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:42,250
Reba, you can't break up with him.
296
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:45,750
How long have you been in my kitchen?
Well, since we got home from the
297
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:46,750
restaurant.
298
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:49,290
I've been following you all night.
299
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,860
You realize that's not normal behavior.
300
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:54,500
Hey, cowboy, we're not in your office.
301
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,260
Reba, I'm so sorry I doubted our
friendship.
302
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:06,140
When I was in there eavesdropping on
you, I realized how special our
303
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:07,220
relationship is.
304
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:10,780
So take the hunky doctor.
305
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,140
You have my blessing.
306
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,400
Are you sure?
307
00:19:18,420 --> 00:19:19,420
I'm sure.
308
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,460
Well, that's very warped and generous of
you, Barbara Jane.
309
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:31,500
And you, if you hurt her, you are going
to have me
310
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:32,740
to deal with.
311
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,230
Well, I got my gun back.
24009
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