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Hey, do you guys think Jake?
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Yeah, he's upstairs in the bathroom
looking in the mirror.
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He's discovered the joy of hair care
products.
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So young, so vain.
5
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Do you like my hair? Like the spiky
thing?
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Mom,
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can we talk to you about something?
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Uh -oh, Cheyenne's using her serious
boy.
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Man, are you pregnant?
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Jenny, I got this.
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Mrs. H, you seem like the kind of person
who appreciates birds.
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Van, you're not getting a bird. And you
probably know that there comes a time
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when the little birds have to leave the
nest.
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And as the mama bird's dead and that day
comes... Van, you're not getting a
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bird. We're moving out.
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What? Yeah.
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Van and I think it's time.
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We want our independence.
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And that table and those knives.
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So, are you okay with us moving out?
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Well, I don't know exactly how I feel.
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I mean, on the one hand, I'd miss
Elizabeth like crazy.
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You wouldn't miss me?
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Yeah, but not like crazy.
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Have you guys figured out how much you
can afford?
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Yeah, yeah, we made a budget, and
according to Van's salary, we can afford
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place up to $700 a month.
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Really?
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Wow, you could probably get a great
place for $700 a month. Well, $900 a
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if we eat all our meals here.
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You could probably get a great place for
$700 a month.
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So, Mom, what do you think?
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I think it's a great idea.
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Really? You're not upset?
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No, I think it's time for the little
birdies to leave the nest.
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All right.
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Mom,
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where are you going?
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I'm going to go measure y 'all's room.
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Time for the mama birdie to go get her a
treadmill.
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00:02:07,090 --> 00:02:10,210
Barbara Jean, I'm a little rushed right
now. What can I do for you? Oh, nothing.
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I just wanted to ask you something.
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How do you like having the name Reba?
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Well, I prefer Knuckles.
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But I guess it's just fine. Why do you
ask? Well, I just wanted to know because
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if I wind up with a girl, that's what
I'm going to name her. If you name a dog
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Reba, I'm going to slap you silly.
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Brock had a vasectomy. He's getting it
reversed.
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Wow, how'd you talk him into that?
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He doesn't know yet.
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You're completely crazy.
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I've been wanting to talk to him about
it, but, you know, I just never know how
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to start an important conversation with
Brock.
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Well, I usually say, how long till
halftime?
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See, you know him.
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00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:00,990
You know what's funny?
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You know how when you sell someone a
used car, You share the little tips on
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to operate it, you know, how to tune the
radio, what to do if the heat won't
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turn on.
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And we never did that when I got Brock.
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I don't think you're obligated to tell
all the little tips when somebody steals
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your car.
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Reba, please.
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No, Barbara Jean.
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I'm not going to talk to my ex -husband
about having a baby with the woman he
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left me for.
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That's weird even for our family.
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It's not just talking to him about that.
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It's about anything.
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Oh, Reba, please.
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No.
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Fine.
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But I'm getting a dog.
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And I'm going to call it Reba.
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And that way I get to do this.
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You can't. Yeah. Because we already did.
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Mom, it is on the 20th floor of this
amazing building. 20th floor? Yeah. Does
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have a Xerox machine and a water cooler?
Because you may have accidentally
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gotten a job.
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00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:53,550
Nope, it was an apartment. Mom, wait
until you see the view.
81
00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:57,350
You can see the curvature of the earth.
82
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Ben, I told you it's impossible. You can
see the curvature of the earth.
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00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,240
as long as I can come and hang out at
your penthouse.
84
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,040
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
85
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:14,940
Penthouse? Mrs. H., do not worry. It has
nothing to do with the magazine.
86
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:23,680
You found a 20th floor penthouse for
$700 a month? No, we found a third floor
87
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unit in the back of the building for
$700 a month. Then we heard about the
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apartment of the gods.
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It's a little more than $700 a month.
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00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,359
I'll bet.
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00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:37,980
How much? Keep in mind... You can see
the curvature of the earth. Ah, keep
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in mind. How much?
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$1 ,500 a month.
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That's 700 times two.
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Plus a little.
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Mrs. H., I don't want to get in a math
argument with you. We want it. We want
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it, Mom. We want it bad. You can't
afford it.
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00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:58,120
Yeah? Well, that's what the landlord
said. So that's why we need you to co
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the lease. No, no way.
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00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:02,400
Why don't you just take the apartment on
the third floor?
101
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We can't go to the third floor now.
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That's the people from the American
Dream.
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Just tell them we're not here.
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Barbara Jean, calm down.
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What's the matter?
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Oh, okay, I'll be right there.
107
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We just have to face facts, Cheyenne.
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Your mom's not going to help us.
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How much do you think Jake's worth?
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Man, I wish we were in high school and
we could just... board your signature
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like we did when we skipped class.
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Yeah.
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Van? Yeah.
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No. Joanne, yes.
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We can't.
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But we're going to, aren't we?
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Okay, Barbara Jean, what's wrong? Okay,
Reba, do you remember when I told you
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before that I have a really hard time
talking to Brock about important things?
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Yes. Well, I still do.
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Barbara Jean, you lied to me. No, I
tricked you.
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See, I know how to work you.
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You need to teach me how to work Brock.
Barbara Jean.
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Oh, Reba, you have to help me.
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Brock gets upset because I always just
blurt stuff out.
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I'm a blurter, Reba.
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Help me not be a blurter.
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You're not going to lay off this stuff
until I tell you, are you?
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No, and it could get worse.
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You know how annoying I am.
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That's the first decent argument you've
made.
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Okay, I'll tell you. Thank you, thank
you, thank you.
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Okay, what should I say to Brock?
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Oh, would it help if I put on something
sexy? Certainly wouldn't help me.
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Okay.
135
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:09,920
Say you want Brock to do something. For
instance, you want him to paint the
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upstairs hallway.
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00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:11,679
Oh, we are.
138
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,800
You are what? Yeah, we are going to
paint the upstairs hallway.
139
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,520
What do you think would be a good color?
140
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,100
I don't care. Mint green?
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I don't care. I don't care. Oh, hey,
you're the one who brought it up. Okay,
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right.
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Let's forget the upstairs hallway.
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All right. Whatever it is, Brock's going
to get you to argue about it until you
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lose your cool.
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And then he's going to say, oh, I can't
deal with a hysterical woman.
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You're right. He has done that a million
times.
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Oh, but if he tries it tonight, I'm
going to get all up in his Kool -Aid.
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No, no, no.
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00:08:43,530 --> 00:08:46,410
No, no, no, Barbara Jean, that's what he
wants you to do. Oh, you're right.
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You're right. Stay cool.
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Stay cool.
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Yeah. Cool as the cucumber.
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Cucumber green.
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Right, right. You don't care about the
hallway.
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Okay, now let's deal with this blurting
problem. Uh -huh. You have to control
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the flow of information. You just can't
blurt stuff out.
158
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:07,880
Hey, sweetheart. Hey, Reba. What are you
guys up to? I think we should have a
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00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,880
baby.
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Way to go.
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A baby?
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Barbara Jean.
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Can we not get into this right now?
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Oh, why not?
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We could have another baby and then
everything would be fine.
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Everything is fine.
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It doesn't feel fine.
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It feels like every night I hop into bed
with a stranger.
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00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,510
And I haven't felt that way since
college.
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00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:38,950
Sweetheart, I don't want to talk about
this right now.
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Please. Will you quit pressuring me?
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Good Lord, I just walked in the door.
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We haven't had dinner and you want to
have a baby.
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00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,640
No, I really don't want to talk about
this.
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Don't you think I have enough to deal
with in my life already? Now, please,
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drop it.
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00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,240
Okay, you can name a dog Reba.
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He makes me so angry.
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Why, honey, what'd he do? He used up all
my moose.
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00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:26,680
Look at my hair.
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I can't go to a playground like this.
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00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:31,480
Well, honey, wear a baseball cap.
183
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,220
Hey, Mrs. H.
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00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:37,160
Hey there, buddy. How you doing? Ooh,
you could use some more volume.
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00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,340
This is not over.
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00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,660
Hey, Mr. H.
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Get out.
188
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,600
Well, I see where Jake gets his temper
from.
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00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:51,380
You know, you could use some more
volume, too. Get out!
190
00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:57,560
Well, you're just yelling at everybody
today, aren't you? What the heck was all
191
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:58,880
that before with the baby stuff?
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00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,980
I didn't know she was going to blurt it
out. Well, you didn't stop her.
193
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,220
That's not my job.
194
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,420
You two people are the ones coming
barging in my door.
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00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,380
Thought when I raised you and got you
remarried, you'd be more independent.
196
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,420
Don't you come in here yelling at me.
197
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,660
I'm not Barbara Jean and this is not
your house. Oh, calm down. I can't talk
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00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:20,680
a hysterical woman.
199
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,500
Get out of my house.
200
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:24,819
Get out.
201
00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:25,820
No.
202
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,320
You do things to make my life miserable
because you resent me. And I am not
203
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,580
leaving here until we straighten things
out between us.
204
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,780
Where was that attitude three years ago?
205
00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:38,660
Okay, you know what? That's what I want
to talk about. Do you? Yeah. Do you
206
00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:39,660
really want to do that?
207
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:42,880
Because if you open that door, I
guarantee you're not going to like what
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00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,460
find behind it. I know I won't. You did
me wrong.
209
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:46,780
Flat out wrong.
210
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:49,100
No, everything I did was wrong. I know.
211
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:51,620
What?
212
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,760
I'm trying to be honest, Reba.
213
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,700
That's where we are in my therapy now.
It's forcing me to be brutally honest
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00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:58,700
with myself.
215
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:04,800
And as the person who knows me best, you
can just imagine how unpleasant that
216
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,800
is.
217
00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:11,790
Well, that's a good thing, right? I
mean, that's what you're supposed to do
218
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:13,110
therapy, to be honest.
219
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:18,970
Yeah. Yeah, and that's what I was
supposed to be doing when we were in
220
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:21,750
therapy, too. Only I didn't.
221
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:30,790
Oh. You know, I guess it was just easier
to blame my unhappiness on everybody
222
00:12:30,790 --> 00:12:35,710
else. And so because I was afraid,
everyone I care about got hurt. My kids.
223
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:40,180
My best friend.
224
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,260
Calm down. I can't talk to a hysterical
man.
225
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:59,320
I'm just so sick of hurting everybody,
Reba.
226
00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:25,780
That's great.
227
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:26,860
No, no, thank you.
228
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,340
We got the apartment?
229
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,680
No. What?
230
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,140
Why?
231
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:35,240
They turned us down because your mom has
lousy credit.
232
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,800
You know, she could have told us that
before we went to the trouble of forging
233
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,800
her signature.
234
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:46,660
God, Sam, this is so embarrassing.
235
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:47,899
Oh, yeah.
236
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,620
And first of all, do you know your mom
makes, like, nothing?
237
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,280
And she makes it every year.
238
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:55,920
But she is Mom.
239
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:57,220
Don't they know that?
240
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,380
She's not penthouse material.
241
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,160
Think about it. I mean, we were about to
leave her. I mean, it's bad enough that
242
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,940
she's broke, but to leave her alone,
too?
243
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,200
Oh, man, I think I'm going to cry.
244
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:18,559
No, don't cry.
245
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,560
Okay.
246
00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,960
I just wish I knew there was something
that we could do to help.
247
00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:27,090
We could pay her some rent.
248
00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:30,030
Yeah, and we could buy her own food.
249
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,269
Why not both?
250
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:32,370
We don't want to rub her nose in it.
251
00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:34,429
Hey there.
252
00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:36,350
You guys come down off the mountaintop
yet?
253
00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:39,290
There will be no new apartment.
254
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:41,070
What? That's right.
255
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:46,070
No new apartment. From now on, if I want
to see the curvature of the Earth, I'll
256
00:14:46,070 --> 00:14:47,070
just have to become an astronaut.
257
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:50,670
Well, that's something. Who's space
program to look forward to?
258
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,470
Here.
259
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:53,869
What's this?
260
00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:55,250
It's a blank check for rent.
261
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,010
Fill it in for $100.
262
00:14:57,410 --> 00:15:01,650
Oh, honey, you didn't have to do that.
Oh, take the money, you proud, brave
263
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:02,650
woman.
264
00:15:04,210 --> 00:15:07,010
But you guys were so excited about
moving out. What happened?
265
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:08,250
What happened?
266
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,450
What happened?
267
00:15:11,390 --> 00:15:12,390
This.
268
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:16,630
You put food on the table. You put a
roof over our heads.
269
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,910
Mrs. H., we owe you.
270
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,150
Well,
271
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,470
thanks.
272
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,570
Mind signing your name there at the
bottom? Sure.
273
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,600
Now that you're paying rent, I guess you
want the good parking spot.
274
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:35,720
Nah, the parking situation's fine. It's
the menu I'm having a problem with,
275
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,800
Reba.
276
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:39,820
What did you call me?
277
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:42,480
Reba.
278
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:45,260
See, now that we're renters, I don't
think it's right for me to be calling
279
00:15:45,260 --> 00:15:46,199
Mrs. H.
280
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,320
Oh, and I'm cutting down on my carbs, so
keep that in mind, okay, Reba?
281
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:53,900
Sure thing.
282
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,320
I just have one little bitty question
for Cheyenne.
283
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:57,640
Yeah, sure, what is it?
284
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,530
Do you have a life insurance policy on
your husband?
285
00:16:00,590 --> 00:16:01,910
I think so. I think so. Why?
286
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,270
Because he's not going to like it.
287
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:09,790
Mom. Hey.
288
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:13,270
I know you admire directness, so I'm
just going to get to it.
289
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:15,730
Barbara Jean said she saw you in bed
with Dad.
290
00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:17,050
What?
291
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:21,270
She's crazy, Carrie. You know that's not
true.
292
00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:24,230
Of course I do. But she swears something
happened this afternoon.
293
00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:25,870
At exactly 4 .17.
294
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:27,450
Exactly 4 .17?
295
00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:29,770
She swears after seeing it her watch
stopped.
296
00:16:31,150 --> 00:16:32,150
Oh, Lord.
297
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:35,110
Honey, I was just hugging your dad. It
was nothing.
298
00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:37,090
Well, it wasn't nothing to Barbara Jean.
299
00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:40,890
Look, I know it seems like I'm mean to
her all the time, but I'm really not,
300
00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:42,770
because most of it just goes over her
head.
301
00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:47,470
She thinks I like her, and I kind of do.
302
00:16:47,730 --> 00:16:50,510
I don't want to see her like this. Well,
then just go tell her what really
303
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,570
happened. I don't think she's going to
believe it from me.
304
00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:55,370
Fine.
305
00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:57,210
I'll tell you one thing.
306
00:16:57,590 --> 00:16:59,610
I will never hug again.
307
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:05,290
Hey, Reba.
308
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:08,670
Just thought I'd come over and tell you
what a wonderful friend you are.
309
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,750
Oh, what's Brock doing here?
310
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:23,890
dolls in your skillet?
311
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:26,710
No.
312
00:17:28,290 --> 00:17:31,450
No, I was just cleaning up some trash.
313
00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:37,250
Hey, let me guess. You're looking for
Brock.
314
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,750
No, actually, I was coming over looking
for you.
315
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:44,490
As in seeing if the coast is clear so
you and your boyfriend could make out?
316
00:17:44,510 --> 00:17:45,510
gross.
317
00:17:45,710 --> 00:17:48,970
Look, Barbara Jean, I know what you
think you saw Brock and me doing, but it
318
00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,950
wasn't what you think. You were
touching.
319
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:56,540
You were stuck together like two gummy
worms on a hot summer day.
320
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:00,260
Brock and I are divorced.
321
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,040
It's the perfect cover for an affair.
322
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:05,180
Everybody worries about the other woman.
323
00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:07,240
Nobody worries about the original.
324
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,120
Robin is way out of proportion.
325
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,160
I was just hugging Brock because he was
talking to me about what he's going
326
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,040
through and his therapy. He tells you
about therapy?
327
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,280
is wrong, Reba.
328
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,440
I can feel it.
329
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:33,420
You know, it's not just the two of you
pawing each other like Sonny and Cher.
330
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,760
It's him being unhappy, the therapy, the
pills.
331
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,180
It's like he thinks everything with me
was a mistake.
332
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,020
Barbara Jean, it'll be fine.
333
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,780
He just needs time to figure things out.
334
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,500
You know, I don't know, Reba.
335
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,240
I'd like to believe you, but I don't
know if I should.
336
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,250
Why can't God just... Give me a sign.
337
00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:01,310
Barbara Jean, I'm back. See, there's
your sign.
338
00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:03,130
He's come home to the one he loves.
339
00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:06,690
Hey, Barbara Jean.
340
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:09,470
I think we should talk.
341
00:19:11,170 --> 00:19:12,170
Yeah,
342
00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:13,870
I think so, too.
343
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:17,930
But could you give me a minute with Reba
first?
344
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:23,790
You want me to leave?
345
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,280
Okay, I'll leave.
346
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,700
But make it a good minute, Brock.
347
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,880
Make sure that at the end of that
minute, you figured out whatever it is
348
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,940
need to figure out, because I can't keep
living like this.
349
00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,760
Brock, go after her.
350
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:43,960
She thinks that you think you made a
mistake by leaving me and marrying her
351
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,200
everything. Go tell her she was wrong.
352
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,800
I don't think I can do that. And why the
heck not?
353
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:54,300
Because... I do think I made a mistake.
27423
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