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1
00:00:00,270 --> 00:00:03,290
Hey, come on, Marsh. It's after
midnight. You gotta get some sleep.
2
00:00:03,510 --> 00:00:04,510
I can't.
3
00:00:04,690 --> 00:00:06,830
I guess I'm worried about going to
prison tomorrow.
4
00:00:07,430 --> 00:00:09,810
It's not like they're locking you up. I
know.
5
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:12,410
It's just that this is all so new.
6
00:00:12,670 --> 00:00:17,350
I mean, up till now, all of my legal
work has been wills and divorces and
7
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,090
defending Wesley from the neighbors.
8
00:00:20,410 --> 00:00:22,050
Who is this jailbird, anyway?
9
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:26,810
Sharon Witt. I've never met her. But
she's been convicted of armed robbery,
10
00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:28,850
grand theft, and felonious assault.
11
00:00:29,619 --> 00:00:32,439
Oh. I think I voted for her. Oh, George.
12
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,080
Come in.
13
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,320
Oh, Mrs. Owens, I heard you pacing for
several hours.
14
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,360
May I bring you some hot milk?
15
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,760
Oh, no, thank you. I can get my own hot
milk.
16
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,680
Then may I get you a cookbook?
17
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,280
Good night.
18
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:50,340
Good night, Mrs. Owens.
19
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,340
Hey, come on, Marsh. You're not going to
do anyone any good if you're dead on
20
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,059
your feet.
21
00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:58,620
Yeah, I guess you're right, George.
22
00:01:07,690 --> 00:01:08,690
Sweetie Pie?
23
00:01:10,890 --> 00:01:11,890
You sleepy?
24
00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:17,770
Marsh?
25
00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:31,990
You're the third lawyer they assigned to
this wacko. But maybe you'll stick.
26
00:01:32,630 --> 00:01:35,070
I got a feeling she's gonna like you.
27
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:36,189
What do you mean?
28
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:37,190
Oh, you'll see.
29
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:42,230
That's true.
30
00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:45,630
I know how to reason with these broads.
31
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:54,690
Hello. I'm Marsha Owens, your court
-appointed attorney.
32
00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:56,050
Yeah?
33
00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:26,150
Never met a boy who cared when he
dropped his jacket.
34
00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:32,690
And if he came through the door, no one
bled. But sometimes things get turned
35
00:02:32,690 --> 00:02:35,570
around and no one sped.
36
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:38,990
All hands look out below.
37
00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:42,150
There's a change in the status quo.
38
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,600
We just might live a good life, yeah.
39
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,280
Oh, the judge says ten years.
40
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,500
Hey, what are you gawking at?
41
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,560
I just can't get over how much we look
alike.
42
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:20,900
Well, we ain't exactly the same. I bet
you ain't got the queen of hell tattooed
43
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:21,900
on your butt.
44
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,870
Can we get on with your statement?
45
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:31,570
When I think about all the things I've
been missing, it just makes me want to
46
00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:32,570
cry.
47
00:03:32,890 --> 00:03:34,730
I'm going to get you out of here,
Sharon.
48
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:38,630
Yeah. I got a feeling you just might.
49
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:41,490
Smoke? No, thanks.
50
00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:43,770
Oops. Oh,
51
00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:45,870
I'll get him.
52
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:11,890
Ooh. Okay, you dames can bunk with
Sleeping Beauty.
53
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,170
Hey, Whit, you got company.
54
00:04:15,530 --> 00:04:16,970
Am I glad you're back.
55
00:04:17,329 --> 00:04:19,230
Something terrible has happened.
56
00:04:19,470 --> 00:04:22,950
Tell me about it. The latrine backed up
in cell block D.
57
00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:24,610
Meet your new roommate.
58
00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:30,170
No, no, you don't understand. I'm not
Sharon Whit. I'm Marsha Owen.
59
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:32,270
And I'm Sigourney Weaver.
60
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,850
No, Sharon hit me. She knocked me out.
and she stole everything.
61
00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:39,370
Even my suede boots.
62
00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:40,710
Nice try, Whit.
63
00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:43,310
No, I'm telling you, I don't belong
here.
64
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,950
Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn't try to con
you. I'm a lawyer. Oh,
65
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:55,670
yeah, Vic, man, this is the
66
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,670
perfect setup.
67
00:04:56,770 --> 00:05:00,110
Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna hang out till I
find out where these rubes keep their
68
00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:03,570
and the... Well, of course I can make
them trust me.
69
00:05:07,310 --> 00:05:09,410
I gotta go. Someone's coming. Yeah, bye.
70
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,750
Oh, thanks.
71
00:05:16,870 --> 00:05:18,290
Here's some of the tools I'm gonna need.
72
00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:45,650
by your usual name.
73
00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:47,330
I like Kevin.
74
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,810
Kevin it is, Kevin.
75
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:56,710
Yeah, well, listen, Dad's gonna be home
any minute, so just tell him I'm
76
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:57,710
upstairs.
77
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,280
big sweater, whoever he is.
78
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,660
Oh, and that must be the husband.
79
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,480
Yuck.
80
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:41,240
Here is your mail, Mrs. Owens. Oh, thank
you, sport.
81
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,560
Are you feeling all right, Mrs. Owens?
You seem a little distracted.
82
00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:57,030
Misplace my jewelry box.
83
00:06:57,530 --> 00:07:00,530
Mrs. Owens, you know I steer clear of
your personals.
84
00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:03,750
I'm sure that your jewelry is safe and
sound.
85
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,190
Swell.
86
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:09,270
Hey, Mom. Hey, Mr. Belvedere. Wesley,
you're an hour late.
87
00:07:10,270 --> 00:07:11,590
I had detention.
88
00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,050
Yeah?
89
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:17,150
I mean, shame, shame.
90
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,110
Uh, Mr.
91
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:21,150
Belvedere, I would like to be alone with
Wesley.
92
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,250
You're a brave soul.
93
00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:28,310
I'm sorry, Mom.
94
00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:31,370
Oh, I'm sure you had a reason. Here, buy
yourself a beer.
95
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,490
Gee, Mom, this isn't like you.
96
00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:38,330
Well, I want you and me to be pals.
97
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:40,310
But you're my mother.
98
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,850
And a proud mother I am to have such a
clever little tyke.
99
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,100
I'm going to stomp you into sludge.
100
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,640
Gotcha. It's three packs of cigarettes
you owe me, sister.
101
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:04,900
The hell I do.
102
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:06,460
You moved your elbow.
103
00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:08,840
You want to make something out of it?
104
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:10,460
I got a better idea.
105
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,460
Let's play blackjack.
106
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,239
No way.
107
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,240
Gambling is illegal.
108
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:18,640
What are they going to do, kick us out
of here?
109
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:22,480
How about you, Blondie? Up for a game?
110
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:23,719
No, thanks.
111
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,600
Ah, come on. Look, no weapons.
112
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,120
What about her?
113
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:30,580
Old Lady Haverford? Nah.
114
00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:33,760
She don't associate with us common
criminals.
115
00:08:34,659 --> 00:08:39,000
That's Doris Haverford, the restaurant
heiress who chopped her husband up into
116
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,840
little bits and scattered him in the
park?
117
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,000
I thought they dropped the murder
charges.
118
00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:45,520
Yeah, but they got her for littering.
119
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,700
Well, gee, she's famous.
120
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,200
Hey, I'm kind of famous myself.
121
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,640
Yeah? Oh, sure.
122
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,120
I spent most of my career serving...
major government officials.
123
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,340
Yeah, at an hourly rate.
124
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,140
I see.
125
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,220
And, Grandma, what are you in for?
126
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:04,920
Five to ten.
127
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,060
This cop was manhandling me, and I
slapped him in the face.
128
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,320
And they gave you five to ten for that?
129
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,060
Well, she was setting fire to a factory
at the time.
130
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:18,680
Okay, you weren't home. Exercise period.
131
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,240
You know, this is outrageous.
132
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,680
You're holding an innocent woman
while...
133
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,040
Brought you some flowers.
134
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,580
Well, thank you, my husband.
135
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,300
I'll go put them in water. Oh, no, here.
136
00:09:41,820 --> 00:09:43,080
Let Belvedere do that.
137
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,440
When's the last time I brought you
flowers?
138
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,820
Knowing you, George, after you attended
your last funeral.
139
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:51,560
George!
140
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,800
Yeah?
141
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,220
Come here, baby.
142
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,580
Well, I got reservations for
McSworley's.
143
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,400
Gourmet dinner, slow dancing.
144
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:01,620
Oh, no.
145
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:04,850
My knees hurt.
146
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,250
I love it when you play hard to get.
147
00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:18,010
I am Marsha Owens. Why won't you believe
me?
148
00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:23,110
Get off it. Anyone who returns kickoffs
like you ain't no sissy housewife.
149
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:26,810
I am a lawyer, and I also happen to jog
a lot.
150
00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:29,670
Boy, what a game. We really mold them.
151
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,290
Reminds me when I was with the Falcons.
Yeah.
152
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:38,710
some prison gang no the atlanta falcons
i was their place kicker
153
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:45,690
they let a woman play nope well then how
could you i mean unless you
154
00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:51,770
were you got it you were a man you want
to see my scars
155
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:08,930
Just be back before the bars close.
156
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:14,870
Morning, Mark.
157
00:11:15,710 --> 00:11:16,710
How's your headache?
158
00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:17,970
Well, gotta go.
159
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:20,490
Mom, the garage is that way.
160
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:21,870
Well, I'm gonna let Walter.
161
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:25,130
Wesley, I gotta get some things from my
room.
162
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:26,670
Toodle -oo.
163
00:11:28,490 --> 00:11:30,810
Am I crazy or is your mom acting a
little strange?
164
00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:33,130
Yes, on both counts.
165
00:11:41,610 --> 00:11:42,610
She's a pod person.
166
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:46,650
Maybe some alien snatched her body and
replaced her with a replica.
167
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:50,690
Too bad. They got the wrong Owens.
168
00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:58,670
Yeah, yeah, Vic. I found all the
passbooks and the keys, but the bank
169
00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:01,810
me make any withdrawals unless it's co
-signed by George Owens.
170
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:05,750
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'll just hang
out one more night. Maybe I can sweet
171
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:06,750
-talk him into something.
172
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:10,570
Eh? Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong
number.
173
00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:13,720
You've been getting a lot of things
wrong lately.
174
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:16,680
I'm just so overworked.
175
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:20,020
Mr. Belvedere, can I ask you a question?
176
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,960
Go ahead, make my day.
177
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:27,680
I've been thinking about buying one of
those new big screen TVs, but I have to
178
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:31,460
coax the money out of George. Now, what
do you think is the best way to soften
179
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:32,219
him up?
180
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:33,360
With a rubber mallet.
181
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,320
Mrs. Owens, you've known him longer than
I.
182
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,469
Yeah, yeah.
183
00:12:39,470 --> 00:12:42,450
But just for argument's sake, if you
were me, what would you do?
184
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:50,270
Well, I suppose I would cook him a
lavish gourmet dinner.
185
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:53,290
Then hit him up for the money right
afterwards.
186
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:55,670
Great idea!
187
00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:57,250
I'll get right on it.
188
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:01,890
I'll start screaming. That'll bring the
guard up here to see what's wrong. I'll
189
00:13:01,890 --> 00:13:03,790
jump her and snap her neck like a twig.
190
00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:08,190
That'll bring us up to the cell block,
guard. I'll jump her and snap her neck.
191
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,400
Like a twig.
192
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:13,580
Next, we'll go down to the main gate
where there's two guards. Take one on
193
00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:15,680
arm and snap their necks like twigs.
194
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,680
Ladies, I don't know if this is a good
idea. I mean, someone could get hurt.
195
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,060
Like an innocent bystander?
196
00:13:22,380 --> 00:13:24,300
You know, you two have a very bad
attitude.
197
00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:26,800
Listen, Goldilocks.
198
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,720
This is prison.
199
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:35,000
There's gangs and screws and crummy food
and endless work details.
200
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:42,200
And there's nothing but drudgery and
squalor and desperation as hour after
201
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:48,000
day after day, week after week, slowly
they squeeze the soul out of you.
202
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:51,100
My, aren't you a gloomy Gus.
203
00:13:52,180 --> 00:13:53,560
What you need is a...
204
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:18,670
and no one gets hurt.
205
00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:20,210
What do you want?
206
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:24,010
I want to be set free. I want her to
sing.
207
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:28,210
Oh. Well, any special requests?
208
00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:31,990
Yeah. Sing Do, Re, Mi.
209
00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:36,390
But one false note, and Murphy's
history.
210
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:39,350
Sing, lady, sing.
211
00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:45,870
Do, a dear...
212
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,220
I feel so uncomfortable sitting here
letting you serve me.
213
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,000
Relax. I'll eat when you're done. Now,
who wants more?
214
00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:45,260
I'll have another piece.
215
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,460
Would you like me to heat it up for you?
216
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,480
Sure.
217
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,780
Boy, Mom sure is friendly.
218
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,040
How about this meal she cooked?
219
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,360
Beef wellington?
220
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,600
Truffles?
221
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:04,760
Stuffed wild goose?
222
00:17:05,599 --> 00:17:08,359
This is the most... most magnificent
meal I have ever eaten.
223
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,240
That woman is not your mother.
224
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:14,260
So, how are we doing?
225
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,940
Oh, just fine, fine. Oh, Mrs.
226
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,118
Owens, I finished.
227
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,880
Why don't you sit here and have your
meal, and I'll warm it up for you. You
228
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,220
talked me into it, Jeeves.
229
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,040
Yes, well, let's clear the...
230
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,090
How'd you like my goose?
231
00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:42,530
I'm done.
232
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,850
Hey, come on, I'm her husband.
233
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,410
Don't you think I'd recognize her if she
were a fake?
234
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:52,030
Well, I would.
235
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:55,030
Time to take a hike.
236
00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:00,870
Okay, so for once in her life, she
cooked a good meal.
237
00:18:01,550 --> 00:18:03,690
What other evidence do we have she's not
your mother?
238
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,770
She paid me for getting detention.
239
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,220
She taught me how to rob and... armored
truck.
240
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,140
She pinched me on the tush.
241
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,020
She kissed me on the mouth.
242
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,200
Finally, safe and sound.
243
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,620
Well, whoever she is, she's out of her
mind.
244
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:23,880
There she is.
245
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,340
Oh, George.
246
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,300
Freeze, lady. You got some explaining to
do.
247
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,479
What's going on?
248
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,000
All right, who are you and what have you
done with my mother?
249
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,240
Kevin, I am your mother. Don't touch me,
you tramp.
250
00:18:47,350 --> 00:18:50,290
You should never have cooked us a
gourmet dinner.
251
00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:54,250
But I didn't cook any... She must have
come here.
252
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:55,830
Who?
253
00:18:56,410 --> 00:19:01,590
Sharon Witt, my client. She looks just
like me. She knocked me out. She stole
254
00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:04,410
all my things and she must have used my
keys to come in here.
255
00:19:05,050 --> 00:19:06,850
You expect us to believe that?
256
00:19:07,690 --> 00:19:08,690
It's impossible.
257
00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:10,030
Not really.
258
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,630
There are five billion people in this
world.
259
00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:15,780
It's quite possible that... one of us
has a double somewhere.
260
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:18,020
Right. And mine just happens to be a
psychopath.
261
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,480
You know what I think?
262
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,280
I think you're the psychopath.
263
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,920
Yeah. You're not our mom.
264
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,680
You're not my wife.
265
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:13,320
Your first venture as a criminal lawyer.
266
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,380
We got you something to commemorate it.
267
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,480
An attache case.
268
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,320
You deserve it, Marsh.
269
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:24,880
It's lovely, but where did it get that
dent?
270
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:33,360
Nothing too unusual to report today,
other than a very odd dream Mrs. Owens
271
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,780
that left her a bit rattled.
272
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,160
The idea of a person having a double is
most intriguing.
273
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:44,710
It has been the... of such great works
as The Prisoner of Zender, The Comedy of
274
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,590
Errors, and The Petty Duke Show.
275
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:26,120
Every Sunday, relax and bring your whole
family together with award -winning
276
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:28,540
movies that will entertain and inspire.
277
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:34,300
This week, to save her farm and family,
a woman must tame a wild horse and ride
278
00:21:34,300 --> 00:21:39,060
him to victory in the Family Net
presentation of The Dark Horse, Sunday
279
00:21:39,060 --> 00:21:41,000
.m. Eastern on Family Net Blitz.
21149
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