All language subtitles for mr_belvedere_s03e05_halloween

Oh, Mr.

Belvedere.

Do you think this bag is big enough?

Yes, I think you'll fit in it quite
nicely.

No, it's for all the candy and junk
people are going to give me. Why should

do that?

Friday's Halloween.

It's the day I get to go out, and if
people won't give me stuff, I can

them.

Sounds like any other day to me.

Real funny, Mr. Belvedere. What's the
matter?

What'd you put in this cookie batter?
It's burning my throat.

I didn't put anything in. Oh, except a
little cinnamon.

Hey, that's not cinnamon. That's cayenne
pepper.

Really?

Oh, in that case.

Mr.

Belvedere, you need glasses.

I do not. You do, too.

My eyes are just a little tired after a
long day of looking at people like you.

So why don't you go bother somebody
else?

Whatever you say.

So, what do you think?

Coffee, tea, or me?

Heather, what are you wearing?

It's my costume for the Halloween dance.
I'm going into the upstairs maid.

Well, you're going to stay upstairs in
that outfit.

Oh, come on, Dad.

Look, honey, it's very flattering. I
just think it's a little too revealing.

It's been a couple days. What am I going
to go as?

Why don't you go naked? Then everybody
will think you're Miss Piggy. Wesley!

Knock it off, guys.

Come on, George. I've got to get to
class.

I'm ready.

Wesley, you are a creep!

Wesley, leave your sister alone.

Hey!

Oh, Mr. Belvedere.

You've got to find that. What's it?

for my class trips to the zoo today. Mom
or Dad were supposed to sign it, but

they left.

Very well.

You should read it first.

Oh, I'm sure it's fine.

All right, well, have a good outing.

And try not to panic the rhino like you
did last time.

I'm not going to the zoo.

What? You just signed a note saying you
agreed to be my slave forever and do

whatever I say.

And that means you have to go to the...
eye doctor, so there.

Very clever.

I didn't want to trick you, but I care
about you and I want you to take care of

yourself.

Thank you.

You're quite right.

I'll call and make an appointment right
now.

Fine.

Then you can do my homework.

Who cares when you cop kicked your
jacket as you came through the door? No

one's glad, but sometimes things get
turned around and no one's spared.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new...

Life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

I'm coming!

Hi, I'm Bert Hammond.

This is my associate, Carl Putnam.

We represent the happy guys of
Pittsburgh.

Helping others happily.

That's our motto.

Oh, yeah. I remember. You gave my dad
that award last year. I'm his daughter,

Heather. Most likely a hormonal problem.

Anyway, my dad's not here right now. Oh,
that's okay, Dublin.

Just make sure he gets this.

Sure. I'm sure he'll be very excited.

I know we are.

Bye. Bye.

So is this what you're going to wear
when you take Wes out trick -or

Well, I was going to watch the dance,
but I think it's a little too sweaty.

What dance?

The dance at school.

You mean the one at my school?

I go there, too, now.

Yeah, I've seen you.

So what's your problem?

Nothing. It's just the guy doesn't need
his little sister tagging along when

he's trying to make some very important
moves.

Oh.

You mean like last week in the cafeteria
when you spilled spaghetti down Maria

Esposito's dress?

That just shows how much you know.

It was lasagna.

Hi, kid.

Hi. You got something from the happy
guy. Thanks, Cheetah.

Mr. Bell, are you back from the eye
doctor yet?

I haven't seen him.

Marsha, why don't you like to be married
to a third -grade Yahoo?

I thought I already was, dear.

It's from the happy guys.

They want to make me an official member.

Oh, isn't that nice, honey? You know,
they do such good work in the community.

Yeah, they're a good bunch of guys.

Here, initiation ceremony, Friday,
October 31st, 8 o 'clock.

Weird having it on Halloween.

What did the doctor say?

He says I need reading glasses.

When are you going to get them?

After the operation.

Operation?

What operation?

I have a cataract.

Huh? The lens of my eye has clouded over
and it needs to be replaced.

Yeah. Oh, it's a very simple and safe
procedure.

And once it's done, I'll be able to see
better than ever.

That's great.

So when do you go under the knife?

Since you put it that way, never.

Are you finished?

Almost.

Now I am.

Look, Mr. Belvedere, we're home.

Thank you, Mommy.

Hey, guys, what group's back?

Operation Gold Cake. I'm fine.

What's the patch for? See how it won't
fall out?

No, Wesley, I'm the Hathaway Man.

I get it.

Mr. Belvedere has to wear that until his
eye gets stronger. And right now, he's

supposed to lie down and rest. No, but
I'm going to go and prepare dinner.

Hey, you're confined to bed, pal.

Anyway, I got KP tonight.

I'm making my famous chili and beans.

In that case, we'll all be lying down.

Hey, what's this?

A new costume I might wear. Like it?

Still going?

Yeah. Come on, give me a break, will ya?
It's my last year of high school. Can't

you let me enjoy it? Yeah, it was my
first, and I'm going. Okay, okay.

But we're gonna lay down some ground
rules.

Okay. Number one, you must keep at least
50 feet away from me at all times.

Isn't that what most girls do?

Number two, don't talk to anyone I know,
don't dance with anyone I know, and

don't do anything with anyone you don't
know.

Hey, why don't I just stay outside in
the car?

That's number three. Hey, look, I'm
going to do what I want.

That's it, you're grounded. Oh, yeah?

No problem.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere. Oh, we weren't
disturbing you, were we?

No, I just came in to fix myself some
lunch.

Oh, but I was going to bring you
something.

Why? Because we want you to rest.

See, I made you some nice tea and soft
-boiled eggs. some tapioca pudding.

Heather, it's my eyes that are going,
not my teeth.

At least not yet.

Hey, big guy, that's a no -no. Hello,
George. Come on, you're going to strain

yourself. George, I'm dusting, not
pumping iron.

Come on, sit down, take a load off.
Fine.

You seen today's paper?

No. I could read you my column.

I've had my nap already.

Hey, you know, Belvedere, getting
glasses is no big deal. No?

What I'm saying is you're lucky it was
just your eyes.

I mean, it could have been something
worse.

Could have been your heart.

Could have been your kidneys.

Could have been lots of stuff.

Thank you, George.

Gentlemen.

Hey, look, I got my Halloween costume.

I'm gonna be a devil.

Makes sense.

Well, Mr. Belvedere's gonna take me
trick -or -treating, isn't he?

Oh, honey, maybe we should see how Mr.
Belvedere feels tomorrow.

Yeah, he may not be up to it, pal.

Hey, Mom, Mr. Belvedere won't eat his
lunch.

Oh, he won't? No, he won't.

Maybe somebody should talk to him.

Then again, why should they?

He's just a useless old man, marking
time waiting to be carted off to the

dustbin. We never said that.

No, I did.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going
upstairs.

Oh, Heather.

If it's not too much trouble.

I'll take that tapioca pudding now.

Hey, Mr. Butler.

Here.

It's getting kind of chilly out here.

You can tell your family I'm suitably
covered.

You know, everyone's kind of worried
about you.

Kevin, I don't want to sound rude, but
I'd like to be left alone.

Hey, every time I'm brooding about
something, you always barge in on me.

That's true.

So listen, if it's any consolation, I
think I know what you're going through.

You do?

I mean, way back when I was seven, I had
my tonsils out.

I thought it was all over.

I'd never be able to swallow again.

Time went by, and before I knew it, I
was eating potato chips, pretzels.

It was like the whole thing never
happened.

Good God, is that the kind of drivel I
tell you?

Yeah.

Look, Kevin, it's not the eye per se.

It's what it represents.

What do you mean?

Well, it's simply that it's the first
part of my body that's ever really given

out on me.

You're kidding.

Just never knew that.

But what's the difference? I mean, you
got it fixed.

Certainly.

If something else goes, perhaps I can
get that fixed too.

But eventually, you spring more leaks
than they can plug.

Are you thinking about death?

No, I was thinking about dinner.

But thanks for bringing it up.

making my journal entry earlier than
usual tonight because I'm tired and

rather old.

I suppose the big question is, now that
I'm beginning to fall apart, do I want

to stay and do it in Pittsburgh?

Tibet is always nice at time of year.

I wonder if the monks are still brewing
that Himalayan joy juice.

I need something to rejuvenate my
spirit, if not my body.

Come in.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere. Wesley.

Mom said I could have a Halloween party
tomorrow if it's okay with you.

Fine. Thanks.

I suppose I'll be here till then.

I'm ready.

Hey, you look great.

Oh, thank you. What's that?

It's the happy guy's credo.

I'm supposed to memorize it.

Let's see, a happy guy is...

faithful to his family, dedicated to his
community, loyal to his country, and...

surrenders his being to the power of
mighty Abaddon.

I'm having a tough time remembering that
part.

Adam, come on.

Hurry up, or I'm going to leave it out
there.

Hey, check out Sir Galahad.

Oh, Kevin, you look so stupid. Come on,
come on, come on.

So listen, Kev, if you...

Save some fair maidens. Save a couple
for me, huh?

Have a good time.

Bye.

Are they gone?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Hey, wait up.

Great party.

So you want to do something else or you
bob for apples?

What are you supposed to be again?

A bureaucrat.

Everyone ready for some more candy corn?

We've already got four bowls of it.

Oh.

What happened to everyone?

They all got bored and left.

Fine. Then I'll be upstairs.

No. Come on, it'll be fun.

Oh, yes.

I'm sure it'll be lots of fun walking
about in the cool night air, watching

get cavities door to door.

I knew you'd change your mind. I'll go
get your coat.

Are you coming too, Metal Mouth?

Thanks.

So anyway, by the time Stargill got out
of the locker, the boss had already

left.

Well, Carl.

Here's a sight that really warms my
heart. What's that, Bert? A new happy

with his new happy gal. He hasn't been
through the initiation ceremony yet.

Hey, speaking of which, am I going to
have to do anything up there? Oh, no,

don't worry. You just have to get up,
repeat a lot of mumbo -jumbo, and then

you're one of the guys.

Only hurts for a minute.

There you are. I've been looking all
over for you. Oh, I'm sorry, honey, but

Carl and I had some important happy guy
business.

I swear, these two spend so much time
together, you'd think they were in love

something.

Wilmanink, this is George and Marsha
Owen, my wife, Wilmanink. Hi. George is

going to be one of us.

Oh, that's wonderful.

And you know, dear, we ladies have a
happy gal's auxiliary.

We meet one day a week.

I think I'm busy that day.

I'm afraid you'll have to excuse us now.
Everybody, it's time to get ready for

the ceremony.

That's right, that's right. Why don't
you two sit right here.

Just make yourself comfortable.

And things will start happening in two
snaps of a rat's neck.

George, are you sure you really fit in
here?

I mean... Come on, Marge, they're okay.

A little corny maybe, but I kind of get
a kick out of them.

I think it's starting.

Come on, Mr. Belvedere, just one more
block. One more block and we'll be in

Jersey.

This is absolutely the last time.

Boy, hardly anybody's come to the door
tonight.

That's your fault.

You look like an insurance salesman.

Wesley, there's obviously no one there.

Yes, there is. These are the Jenners.
They hate Halloween.

Last year, they turned the hose on me.
My whole mouth almost rusted out.

Come on, we've got to trick them. Yeah.

Wesley. If we don't get treated, they
get tricked.

Hey, I know. Let's soak the windows.

No, better. Let's... push their
microwave dish into the pool.

Why not burn down their house and steal
their women?

Wesley, we're not going to do anything
except go home. Come on, let's go.

Oh, come on. At least let us TP the
place.

What's that?

TP. You know, take a roll of toilet
paper, throw it up into the trees and

Looks real neat. Nobody gets hurt.

Well, it's a pity we don't have any.

Mr. Belvedere.

No, Wesley.

Oh, come on, Mr.

Belvedere. What about...

Those pranks you said you did when you
went to school at Eaton. Like putting

tadpoles in the headmaster's teeth.

That was different.

Yeah, it was different because you still
knew how to have fun before you started

feeling sorry for yourself and turned
into an old poop.

What did you call me?

An old poop.

Something wrong with your ears, too?

Give me that.

I would have preferred...

followers of Abaddon.

Hail to you, happy guy.

Behold, the Grand Master approaches to
commence the reading of the sacred

incantations.

Will the owner of a 1980 Buick Electra
please move your car?

It's clocking me out.

George Owens, now begins your journey
across the Stygian waters, through the

lake of fire, into the cavern.

Of oblivion.

Sounds like an E -ticket to me.

George Owens, are you prepared to learn
the true credo of the happy guys?

I guess so. And are you ready to swear
allegiance to the Phantom Overlord? Who?

The shadow who dwells beneath the
bridge, mighty Ixtapa, the original

whose greatness we now exalt.

This mumbo -jumbo stuff, this swearing
allegiance to some guy under a bridge

stuff.

You guys are kidding, right?

I mean, I'm asking because my wife and I
are regular, decent people.

And if any of this was for real, I
wouldn't want to be a part of it.

So you guys are kidding, right?

Okay.

When it pierces his heart, the

foul thing that possesses him will be
driven out. The vampire will die.

Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad.

You a happy guy now?

I'm afraid not, pal.

You were a little too far out for your
old pop.

But you'd fit right in.

Where's Mr. Belvedere?

Oh, he's around.

What do you mean?

Where is he?

Well, last time I saw him, he was up on
the janitor's roof wrapping their TV

antenna in toilet paper.

What are you talking about?

He took me and Lyle trick -or -treating,
and I got mad at him and called him an

old poop, and he kind of went a little
crazy.

Anyway, as soon as I heard the sirens, I
got the heck... Just like Dad always

told me. Right, Dad?

Good thinking, buddy.

Come on.

Does this belong to you?

Mr. Belvedere.

Hello, Mrs. Owens. This is Officer
Shelton.

And that's not a costume he's wearing.

Problem, officer?

We got a call reporting a rather large
child running amok through the

neighborhood.

I found him over on Maple piling up a...

Bunch of garbage cans.

I was recreating Stonehenge.

Well, thank you for bringing him back,
officer.

Yeah, we'll see to it that Dennis the
Menace behaves.

Okay, folks.

Good night.

Good night.

I like the hat.

Mr. Belvedere, are you all right?

I suppose so, for someone who's been
spending the last two hours behaving

moronic ten -year -old.

I'm sorry, Mr.

Belvedere. I guess this is all my fault.

Yes, it was.

And in case I forgot to say it, thank
you.

I'm back.

Heather, is that you?

Uh -huh.

What are you doing in your brother's
armor?

Well, it was my first real dance, and I
wanted to look sexy, so I wore that

outfit you didn't want me to wear. Oh,
Heather.

But when I got there, I'll...

made Kevin give me his costume.

So what's he wearing? Remember, you owe
me one.

My first American Halloween is behind me
now.

I've just returned from a pilgrimage
around the neighborhood, apologizing for

the mischievous actions of my evil twin.

As for me, I don't know what body part
may go next, but until it does, it's

to have a rosier outlook on life.

It's also nice to be able to read what
one's written.

Oh, this is good.