All language subtitles for The Ropers s02e15 Of Mice And Horses

How's it coming?

Pretty good.

Except we'll have to finish it later. I
gotta get to school.

Oh, hey, wait a minute, Jenny. Can I
see?

Oh, hey, I look good.

Thanks.

Can I get you anything from the store
when I get back?

Oh, no, thanks, Jenny. I'm waiting for
Stanley.

Oh, okay.

I spent half my life waiting for Stanley
and the other half wondering why.

You want to see our favorite model?
Yeah.

Oh, hey.

He's, uh... He's, uh... Nude?

Yeah.

All the girls in the class are crazy
about him. Oh, isn't it funny how young

girls are so easily impressed with a
man's build?

Yeah.

Just refreshing my memory.

You sure I can't do the shopping for
you?

Oh, well, why not? You'll certainly do
it better than Stanley.

Oh, great.

You know, Jenny, if you weren't living
with us, you know what we'd be having

dinner tonight?

Stanley's favorite, liver and hotcakes.

Why don't you get us three nice steaks,
okay?

Mrs. Roper, I hope you're not going to
any trouble just for me.

I'm really not that sussy.

You mean you wouldn't mind having liver
and hotcakes?

Porterhouse, okay?

Oh, Stanley, there you are. You know
what Janie's been doing?

Looking for somewhere else to live?

She's been drawing my picture, showing
Janie.

What do you think?

Very nice.

Very nice.

You left out a few wrinkles.

It's, uh, too bad about your liver.

Why'd you give her money?

For groceries.

Are you crazy? A girl like that? I mean,
what's to prevent her from keeping her

money and running off?

Where to? The Riviera?

Don't say I didn't warn you. How could I
forget? You've been warning me every

two minutes ever since we invited her to
move in here.

We didn't invite her to move in here.
She broke in here, remember?

At first, and then we invited her to
stay.

You invited her to stay, and now she's
running off with your money. Oh,

Oh, hey, is your car running?

Why, you want me to go after her?

No, I want you to drive me to my sister
Ethel's.

The car's not running.

Stanley? I hate to go to your sister's.
Why?

One, she's a stuck -up snob.

Two, she makes me park a block away.

But my mother's staying with her.

I want you to see her, but my battery,
my plugs, and my fuel pump all aren't

working. Well, I'll just have to ask
Mama to come and stay with us.

I didn't say I couldn't get the car
started.

Here we are, Mother.

may be, but I married to Hubert.

Yes.

Oh, this is a nice magazine.

Yes, isn't it? We like to keep up with
the newest thing in antique.

Well, I don't know why Stanley's too
cheap to buy anything.

Oh, did you see this? A China horse went
for $20 ,000.

Oh, it's Ming.

Their collector's item.

Yes, I know. Your father had one.

Really? Now, I want you to try one of...
What? He brought it back from the

Orient years ago.

Father did?

Yes. He told me he won it playing fan
tan on a sand pan in Tucson.

Are you sure it was the same as this? Or
was it playing sand pan on a fan tan?

Who cares?

Now, was it the same as this horse?

Oh, yes.

Don't you remember?

It used to sit on top of the radio.

We had some lovely plaster ducks. Never
mind the plaster ducks.

What happened to the horsey, Mama?

Well, let me think.

After your father died, we gave it to...
No.

I think Ethel has it.

I'm Ethel.

$20 ,000.

Shouldn't someone tell her? No.

Yeah.

I'll get on it right away.

Helen?

Helen, where are you, Helen?

I'm in the bedroom.

Come on up.

It's no use. I can't get it started.

fix it. She got it started the last
time.

That was an accident.

Your car is an accident.

Hello, Ethel, this is Helen.

I mean, hello, Helen, this is Ethel.

I just wanted to let you know how much
Mother is enjoying her visit.

Oh, well, she can tell me herself. I'm
coming over to see her.

Oh, uh, well, she'd love to see you when
she's feeling better.

What's the matter? with her.

She's in bed with the flu.

And I just thought while she was
resting, maybe I'd drop by and see you.

What for?

No special reason. Just to have a nice
little chat.

I'll see you shortly, darling.

Darling?

Yeah.

is a disgrace.

What's it doing now?

What it's always doing, lowering our
property values.

Sitting out front with its hood up. I
could swear it belched at me.

Well, now that I caught you in a good
mood.

What? Oh, I'm sorry.

What's on your mind, honey?

Well, since David's spending the night
at Tommy's house, I thought this would

a good time to... Oh, so do I.

I'll just slip out of these old clothes
and mix us a couple of drinks. Let me

finish, Jeffrey.

I want to tell you about my surprise.

You little devil, you.

What is it?

White mice.

White mice?

Is that a new game?

No, no, a real mouse.

You see, Dave's been pestering me for
weeks to get him one. Oh, Annie.

You can't be serious.

I know you.

The little rodent running around loose.
Why, you'd be a nervous wreck.

Jeffrey, it's something David wants. And
we promised him if he worked hard at

school, we'd get him something nice. A
pocket calculator is nice.

But you can't feed it or take care of it
or watch it grow.

Watch it grow?

His friend Tommy has white mice. His
friend Tommy doesn't live at Royal Dale

townhouses. Anne, can you imagine what
would happen if some hysterical woman

neighbor saw a mouse?

But, Jeffrey... Anne, I'm sorry. A mouse
for David is out of the question.

Too late.

A saucer of milk?

What? Oh, no, thank you. I just dropped
by to talk to you about Daddy.

Daddy?

Our Daddy?

Now, I know that you think I'm overly
sentimental about him. You called him a

drunken fool.

I was joking with him. It was at his
funeral.

I was trying to hide my grief.

Anyway... I just suddenly realized I do
not have one single thing to remember

him by.

Well, what sort of thing?

Oh, you know, a souvenir.

A lock of hair, a faded photograph, a
china horse.

Oh, I may be able to help you there.

Oh, well, really, Helen, I wasn't
hinting or anything. Here we are.

A nice photograph.

No!

I couldn't.

possibly take this. Oh, no, it's far too
precious. Don't you have anything else?

Well... Remember that battered old thing
that used to sit on top of the radio?

Our cat?

No, a China thing. A horse, I believe. I
think it passed into your clutches. A

hand.

Oh, yeah. It's in with our job.

I don't see it.

In the storage room or maybe in the
garage. I could get Stanley to dig it

for you. When?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Unless there's some special
reason you want to have it right away.

Oh, no, no, no. Tomorrow will be fine.
Just fine.

Did you find a horse?

Found something better.

out in the trash.

They refused to take it.

Focus on growing.

Sounds as good as ever.

Did somebody step on the dog?

No, that was my husband, the boogie
-woogie bugle boy from Forest Lawn.

What would you like to hear?

Never mind that. Did you find a horse
for Ethel? Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's nice.

He's a junk.

Looks like a Ming.

No, it's a horse.

No, I mean it's from the Ming dynasty.

We're studying about them at art school.

I bet that's what that is. You know,
Daddy used to bring home lots of things.

Yeah, but they all came in bottles.

I'm not saying that this is real Ming.

If it was, would it be worth anything?

If it's Ming, a lot of money.

Really?

enough to keep you in chop suey for
life.

Stanley, it's real, Ming.

It's worth a lot of money.

Why, just because of what Jenny said?

You need more proof than that. I got
more proof than that.

Ethel wants it.

Yeah,

well, it's about 13 inches high.

and it's kind of blue, and it has a
saddle.

Well, my wife was wondering, you know,
if it was worth something.

What's that?

How much?

$20 ,000?

Surprised? No, I'm not surprised. I told
my wife it was worth something.

You're the luckiest woman in the world.

You know, to have a guy like me around.

You can't be serious.

No, I just talked to the museum. You
know what that horse is worth?

$20 ,000.

$20 ,000?

That's right.

I might have known there was big money
involved.

There were beads of sweat on Ethel's
knees.

You've got to find a safe place to put
that mean thing.

You're right.

Where did you put it?

Where did I put it? Where did you put
it?

I put it right on that table there.

I never touched it.

Well, where could it be? I mean, it
couldn't have gone galloping off all by

itself.

It's not in here.

There's something else missing, too,
Helen.

Something else? Think, Helen, think.

That girl.

Jenny?

No. I warned you, Helen. I warned you.
You took a viper to your bosom, and she

kicked you right in the teeth.

You talk like you've been kicked in the
head. Never mind.

Never mind. I'm going to call the
police. No, no, no, no. Stanley,

Give her the benefit of the doubt, okay?

All right, while we're doubting, she's
benefiting to the tune of $20 ,000.

Stanley, I just don't believe that that
sweet little kid could do it. Why?

Because she's a girl and she looked at
you with big brown eyes? No, I just...

What if it was a man? What if it was a
very tough guy with a gun?

Then would you have invited him to stay
with us?

Of course not.

So much for your equal rights.

What? I warned you she was no good, and
so did Brooks.

And he's a very level -headed guy.

Is my big, strong man afraid of a teensy
little mouse?

Even elephants are afraid of mice.

Besides, I'm not afraid of them. I just
don't like them, that's all.

Even as a child, I liked Donald and
Pluto and Goofy, but never Mickey.

You must have been a riot at the movies,
standing up on your seat every time

they showed a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

I never did that.

I went to the toilet.

Well, never mind.

You'll get used to the cute little guy.

It's too late, Ann. He's gone.

What?

Oh, Jeffrey.

I'm sorry, Ann. I was just trying to
make friends with the little chap.

What did you do to him? Nothing. He
escaped.

How? I don't... He must have picked a
lock or something.

To the roper's backyard.

He jumped over that high fence? Not
exactly. I happened to be holding its

over the fence to show it to the roper's
backyard when all of a sudden, Anne,

the door fell open and brave little Mr.
Mouse seized the opportunity and...

Into the roper's yard?

I said he was brave. I didn't say he was
bright.

What? Like that.

What, please?

I want to report a theft.

Stanley, please. It's got to be done,
Helen.

Somebody stole my horse.

It's about 13 inches high.

No, I'm not a midget.

It's the kind of horse that sits on top
of a radio.

Will you stop laughing?

Oh, nuts.

Oh,

never mind, officer. My horse just came
in.

Did you or did you not take our horse?

Yeah, I took it. Aha!

I took it to show my ceramics teacher to
get an expert opinion.

Aha!

Was that okay?

Oh, of course it was, honey. What did he
say about it? Plenty.

It's a very good imitation.

What?

Imitation? Yeah, they were turning them
out for the thousands after the war.

You mean it isn't worth anything?

Well, you could get something for it.
How much?

$25. $25?

Oh, poor daddy. Poor... Practically
worthless.

I can hardly wait for Ethel to find out.

Here comes Ethel. Now remember, Stanley,
don't be too nice to her.

She might get suspicious.

You wouldn't rather have a photograph of
Daddy?

I'm sure.

Well, then, all we have to settle on is
the price.

The price.

You know, it's funny.

Helen told me that you're interested in
a horse for sentimental reasons.

And she suddenly has become very
sentimental about it, too.

Yeah, I'm not sure I can part with it.

How much?

If you're suggesting that it's a matter
of money, $50.

Ethel, please, the price is not
important.

All right, 100.

Of course, it's not unimportant either.

200. And that is my final offer.

250?

Well, that sounds like a fair price.

Helen, are you crazy? $25?

Stanley, you don't think that I would
cheat my very own sister any more than

would cheat me.

Would you, Ethel, darling?

Of course not, darling.

Here's your $25.

Well, you drive a hard bargain, Helen.

Well, it's probably not even worth that
much.

I know. But who cares about money when
it's something that will remind me of

poor Daddy?

Well, I've got to rush.

Yeah, well, give my love to Mama.

Uh -huh. Hi.

Oh, oh, Jenny, I didn't know you were
home.

I was out back.

Oh, oh, Jenny, I want you to meet my
sister, Ethel.

Ethel, this is Jenny.

Oh, yes, the young lady who broke into
your house.

She didn't break in. She, she, she...
Climbed in.

Yes. Pleased to meet you, Ethel. Sorry,
I can't shake your hand.

Oh? Why, what have you got there?

Nothing. Nothing.

She could have been rummaging in the
storeroom.

Ethel! Oh, come on, Helen. You are far
too gullible.

Now, what have you got there?

Just a mouse.

A little mouse who's not afraid of a
great big cat.

Hi!

We're home.

Oh, past seven o 'clock.

I didn't think you could stand your
mother that long.

Oh, Stanley, I had the most wonderful
visit.

Mama has to go home tomorrow.

Well, what nasty things did she say
about me this time?

Oh, she likes you. She had nothing but
nice things to say about you.

Nice things? About me?

Yes. She took me aside and said that, of
all her daughter's husbands, you were

the best.

And that your wife was lucky to have a
man like you.

You hear that, Helen?

Your mother finally appreciates my true
worth.

There's only one thing I didn't
understand, though. What's that?

Why she kept calling you Hubert.

The Ropers was videotaped in front of a
studio audience.

Thank you.