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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,339 Ann? 2 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:07,660 Ann? 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,840 David wants to take this in to show his teacher. 4 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:12,940 Oh, that's fine, fine. 5 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,180 That's very good. 6 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,420 Ann, sit down. 7 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,660 I've been thinking a lot about your false alarm. 8 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,560 Oh, I solemnly swear to be more careful in the future. 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,040 Unless I forget. 10 00:00:27,740 --> 00:00:29,680 That's not quite what I had in mind. 11 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,960 You see, I, well... 12 00:00:33,230 --> 00:00:34,850 What I'm thinking of will make that unnecessary. 13 00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:37,910 That is, if you agree to the idea. 14 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:44,710 Oh, Jeffrey, I'd love to have another one. No, no, no, that's not... I kept 15 00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,270 the baby clothes. Really? Very good. 16 00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:50,490 And... Well, I really would like another child. 17 00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,950 People are starving in India. 18 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:55,950 Okay, I'll have it in America. 19 00:00:57,710 --> 00:01:01,590 The world, the world is overpopulated and is looking to us for an example. 20 00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,150 Well, why us? 21 00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:04,450 Why not the Kennedys? 22 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:10,350 The point is, Anne, that I've decided that the best thing for me to do would 23 00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:13,350 to... To, uh... To what? 24 00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:16,070 To have a vasectomy. A vasectomy? 25 00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:23,110 Hey, you've broken the wing off the Queen Mary. 26 00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:33,870 Why don't you drag me down here? 27 00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:35,130 Stanley. 28 00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:41,490 It's very kind of you to see us on that short notice, Mrs. Easton. Please, take 29 00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:42,490 a seat. 30 00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:48,930 Now, you are 31 00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:51,070 Helen and Stanley Roper. 32 00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:52,290 Oh, very good. 33 00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:56,330 I'm Stanley, and she's Helen. 34 00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,910 And you've been having some problems. 35 00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,310 Would you like to tell me about them? Yes. No. 36 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,729 Well, Mr. Roper, your wife seems to feel that your marriage needs help. 37 00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:13,490 When did you first feel that things were going wrong? 38 00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:15,530 On our wedding day. 39 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:21,590 We were walking down the aisle and he stepped on my train and ripped half my 40 00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:22,590 dress off. 41 00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:24,850 I forgot all about that. 42 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:28,770 Everybody in the church could see what was borrowed and what was blue. 43 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:39,340 If that's not the best place for us to start, then perhaps we should 44 00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,860 on the things that you like. 45 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,340 What would you say you both have in common? 46 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,240 Television. 47 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:01,040 Television. We both talk a lot about the TV. 48 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,280 Oh, well, that's good. 49 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,800 Yeah, she wants it off and I want it on. 50 00:03:09,550 --> 00:03:10,990 I'd hold her to switch it off. 51 00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:13,510 How about coffee? 52 00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:17,370 Nah, we fight about that, too. He likes cocoa. 53 00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,250 I meant, would you like a cup now? 54 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:24,190 Oh, I'm sorry, yes. 55 00:03:24,650 --> 00:03:26,230 I'd love it. So would I. 56 00:03:32,290 --> 00:03:34,010 Stanley, you're not trying. 57 00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:37,350 You know, if we're going to make this thing work, we... 58 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,080 What are you doing? 59 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,280 Just looking. 60 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,280 There's got to be some very weirdo cases in a place like this. 61 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,660 That's confidential! 62 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,680 I'm not surprised. 63 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,500 The things people do. 64 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,600 This couple must be double -jointed. 65 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,839 Grover, we try to work in an atmosphere of mutual trust. 66 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:21,360 Oh, you can trust me, Mrs. Easton. 67 00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:24,460 Now, 68 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:34,440 how 69 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,900 about your love life? 70 00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:47,790 Do you want to start, or should I? 71 00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:54,190 Helen, that side of our marriage is very, very private. 72 00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:57,330 Yeah, it's so private that half the time I don't know about it. 73 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:03,410 I do my duty. 74 00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:10,470 You mustn't think of it as a duty, Mr. Rober. Don't tell him! 75 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,640 He's got another woman. He has? 76 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,679 I have. 77 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,600 Oh, don't try to lie out of it, Stanley. I got proof. 78 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,300 You crazy? There is no other woman. 79 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,560 Oh, no. 80 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,800 Well, who did you write all these letters to, then? 81 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,120 Where'd you get those? 82 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,880 When I look at you, dear Doris, I get goose dimples. 83 00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:39,140 Goose dimples? 84 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:40,620 Goose are private. 85 00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:44,300 Everything here is strictly confidential, Mr. Roper. Oh, yeah? 86 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,470 Like, uh... Mr. and Mrs. Greenbaum and their trampoline. 87 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:58,210 It's best to have a full and frank discussion. 88 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:03,130 Okay. You be full, she'll be frank, and I'll be going. 89 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:13,610 Well, David sounds asleep. 90 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,960 Dropped off just as Charlie was going into the chocolate factory. 91 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,660 Now I have to wait till tomorrow night to find out what happened. 92 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,580 You really enjoy those stories, don't you? Yes. 93 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,400 It's a shame there won't be another little boy or girl for you to read to. 94 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,240 Now look, Ann. 95 00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,400 My mind is made up. 96 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,640 Oh, good. 97 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,660 Because I made an appointment for you with the doctor. 98 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,160 You go under the knife at two o 'clock tomorrow. 99 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,640 It's 2 o 'clock tomorrow. 100 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,120 It's very soon. 101 00:06:54,960 --> 00:07:00,220 Well, apparently there's no pain. Just a local anesthetic and snip, snip. Don't 102 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,220 do that. 103 00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:05,440 Then they sew you up. Sew me up? 104 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:06,880 Well, I hope so. 105 00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:13,600 Yes, well, you know, it's not definitely decided yet. 106 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,340 And it's a very drastic snip. 107 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,500 It's a very drastic step to take. 108 00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,630 Tomorrow at 2 o 'clock is very soon. 109 00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,950 I'll put it off for a month or so. 110 00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,170 Oh, well, if you think I should. 111 00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:32,930 Oh, no, no, it's not my decision. I just don't want you to do the right thing 112 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:33,930 for the wrong reason. 113 00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:36,090 Well, actually, 114 00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:43,310 I... I think it would be nice to have a little brother or sister for David 115 00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,310 someday. 116 00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:47,150 Oh, Jeffrey. I said someday. 117 00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:51,800 Well, let's... Have an early night and discuss it. 118 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,780 It's a very good idea. 119 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,960 Please, Helen, you've got to believe me. There is no other woman. 120 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,060 I suppose you just wrote these letters to nobody. 121 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,060 Yeah. No. 122 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,080 I didn't mail them. 123 00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,990 Look, she's just somebody that I admired from afar. 124 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:24,890 Who is Doris? 125 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:27,170 I can't tell you. 126 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:28,830 Okay, Stanley. 127 00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:30,730 Don't ever speak to me again. 128 00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:35,789 Helen, I can't tell you because if I told you, you'd only laugh at me. 129 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,110 Yeah, well, this is hardly a laughing matter. 130 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:44,750 Okay. Okay, I'll tell you, but you gotta promise not to laugh. 131 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,360 All right, I promise not to laugh. 132 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,480 I wrote those letters to Doris Day. 133 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,400 Doris Day? 134 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,640 The movie star? 135 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,220 Yeah, you know, it's magic, pillow talk. 136 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,200 They're just fan letters. 137 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:20,340 Yeah. 138 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,510 That's a good little bird. 139 00:09:57,170 --> 00:10:00,030 We gotta stick together. We have a lot in common, you know. 140 00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,490 We're both caged birds. 141 00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:06,810 Excuse me. 142 00:10:09,490 --> 00:10:10,490 Yeah. 143 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,670 What? 144 00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,130 From the studio? 145 00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,050 Doris! 146 00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,050 Is that really you, Miss Day? 147 00:11:04,439 --> 00:11:08,480 The Ropers was videotaped in front of a studio audience. 148 00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:22,550 Thank you for listening. 10222