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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,419 --> 00:00:07,360 Oh, baby, those are beautiful. 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,780 It's not even our anniversary. Thank you. Oh, but Cheyenne. 3 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,200 Don't ruin this perfect moment by speaking. 4 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:19,900 Still think we'd make a great team. 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,140 Baby, we are a great team. 6 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:26,880 Sincerely, Steve. 7 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:29,140 Steve? 8 00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:33,060 your dresser sending you flowers again? 9 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,280 No. 10 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:39,440 Steve Norris, Norris Realty, the guy who offered me the job, well, he's still 11 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:44,000 pursuing me. Flowers, football tickets, steaks from Kansas City. Oh, man. 12 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,900 You know they want you when they send meat in the mail. 13 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,740 Wait, but I thought that you turned down that job. I did, but he keeps calling 14 00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:55,140 me. He's called me every day this week, and I told him, I don't want the 15 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:57,160 luxurious company car or their huge increase in pay. 16 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,340 How huge? How luxurious? 17 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,720 Oh. 18 00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:03,100 Enormous. And plush. 19 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,400 The car has heated seats, so when you sit down, it feels like someone's 20 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,400 been sitting there. 21 00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:18,020 That combines two of your favorite things, driving and a warm butt. 22 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,940 You must take this job. 23 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,400 You don't think I know that? Of course I do. But how are we going to tell your 24 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,400 mother? 25 00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:30,150 I mean, she gave you her blessing once. I'm sure she'll give it to you again. 26 00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:34,470 No, but I swore my loyalty to her. And once you do that, you're in for life. 27 00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,430 Van, look, just talk to her. 28 00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:37,910 Quit hiding me, woman. 29 00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:42,370 I know I have to talk to her, but listen, she has to be in a perfect mood. 30 00:01:42,650 --> 00:01:46,870 So I thought about this. I'm going to do it after six, after she's had her first 31 00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:47,870 tumbler of bourbon. 32 00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:52,910 Hey, gang, what's up? Hey, hey, everything's good. How you doing? What's 33 00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:56,890 on? Mom, Van has something that he wants to talk to you about. Not now, not now. 34 00:01:58,960 --> 00:01:59,839 What is it, man? 35 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:00,840 What? 36 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:05,660 Mom, 37 00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:14,180 Steve Norris has been calling Van again. 38 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:21,000 What? And they made him a really, really good offer. 39 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,040 think that he should take it? 40 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,240 Oh, hey, Mrs. 41 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,020 H, can I get you a tumbler of bourbon? 42 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,700 Ben, is this an offer you really want to take? 43 00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:36,380 Yes, 44 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,100 he does. 45 00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,180 We both do. 46 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,880 Well, I hate to lose you. 47 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:49,520 We've really had some great times working together, but if this is what 48 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,180 want, you have my blessings. 49 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,960 Really? You're going to be okay? 50 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,000 Yeah, absolutely. 51 00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:59,520 I was fine before I hired you. I'm sure I'll be fine now. 52 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,380 Well, okay. 53 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,640 Okay, we're not partners anymore. 54 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,720 No more girl talk in the carpool lane. 55 00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:18,220 I don't know. I guess it's a 56 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,420 little harder than I thought it was going to be. 57 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:30,600 You're still going to be living. 58 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,130 You think he's annoying, you ought to meet his wife. 59 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:24,390 He is so frustrating. 60 00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:29,390 You know, sometimes I think you tricked me into marrying that man. 61 00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,130 That would be weird, wouldn't it? 62 00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:38,830 It's just, you know how I've always been interested in broadcast journalism? 63 00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:43,130 Yep. Well, there's this great opportunity for me at a local cable 64 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:47,310 Channel 34, and Brock doesn't even want me to apply. 65 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,330 Then go for it. 66 00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,470 Really? Absolutely. 67 00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:52,890 And literally, I mean, go. Now. 68 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,630 Oh, Ribba, you are so nice. 69 00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:00,230 I'm so lucky. 70 00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:04,230 Can you imagine if Brock had been married to somebody I hated? Oh, I know. 71 00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:12,870 Good morning, Mrs. H. Hey, Van. How are you? Excited for your first day of the 72 00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:13,870 new job? 73 00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,550 Yep. I slept in my outfit. 74 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,310 Can you tell? 75 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:19,570 No. Okay. 76 00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:22,510 Hey, where's our client list? 77 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,830 Out in the garage. Why? Oh, I'm just going to call everyone and let them know 78 00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:26,830 that I'm switching agencies. 79 00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:27,890 So is it in your desk? 80 00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:29,230 Why would you want to call them? 81 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:32,990 You know what? You're right. You call them. Just let everyone know that my new 82 00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:38,830 website is www .VanGotAnotherJobAndIsWorkingForAnotherAgency 83 00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:44,250 Van, I'm not going to call my clients and tell them to call another agency. 84 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:45,750 Well, then just call my half. 85 00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:49,930 They're all my clients, you moron. 86 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:55,050 You know what, Mrs. H? That's not fair. I worked really hard to get those 87 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:58,370 people. That folder got fat because of my closer stare. 88 00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:08,190 And as your former boss, 89 00:06:08,490 --> 00:06:11,330 I thank you for that. But I'm keeping my clients. 90 00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:14,930 You know what? I take back. 91 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,200 My tearful goodbye, and I give you a sigh of disappointment. 92 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,180 Oh! 93 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,720 And brush your teeth. 94 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,900 Oh, good. You're all here. I want to show you my audition tape. 95 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,420 Reba, Barbara Jean tells me this was your idea. 96 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,920 Well, mostly I did it just to get her out of my kitchen. But if she wants to 97 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,800 something productive with her life, I think she should, and I think you should 98 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,800 support her. 99 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:52,960 Okay, okay. 100 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,180 Hi, 101 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,940 everyone. I'm your new meteorological mink, Stormy Clearweather. 102 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,480 Oh, dear. 103 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:13,270 Barbara Jean, I thought you wanted to go into broadcast journalism. 104 00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:15,090 Right. As the weather girl. 105 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,890 These days, with global warming, we are the story. 106 00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:24,030 This is going to be so good. Do I have time to call my friends? No. 107 00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:29,650 Barbara Jean, do you even know anything about the weather? 108 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:30,789 Oh, yes. 109 00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:33,690 I have a special way of knowing when it's going to rain. 110 00:07:34,090 --> 00:07:38,150 When I was nine, my mom gave me this bedazzler and... 111 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,680 festooned all the back pockets of my blue jeans with these beautiful metal 112 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:49,580 studs. And I would wear them every day until the big lightning storm of 82. 113 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,780 And ever since then, every time it's going to rain, I get a tingling 114 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:59,040 in this area here. 115 00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:03,520 You were struck by lightning. 116 00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:06,560 There's the missing piece of the puzzle. 117 00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:11,890 You guys have got to see the rest of this. 118 00:10:39,340 --> 00:10:42,460 breaking into your mom's office to steal her client list makes me nervous. 119 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,360 Every week when we watch that show with Kiefer Sutherland, you're like, man, 120 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,880 Jack Bauer's so cool. I want to be Jack Bauer so bad. You are so not Jack Bauer. 121 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,640 Jack Bauer only has to worry about terrorists. 122 00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:00,120 If he were up against your mother, he would have to pee, too. 123 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,040 Please, Van. 124 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,580 You would not believe the stuff that I pulled on Mom. 125 00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:09,990 Okay? 126 00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:13,290 Like, faking her signature on my report card. 127 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,550 Really? You were never afraid of your mother? 128 00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:17,750 No. 129 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:18,930 Wait, see these earrings? 130 00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:20,650 Hers. 131 00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:26,010 Yeah, I liked them, so she was sleeping on the couch one night, and I just stole 132 00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:27,010 them right off of her. 133 00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:32,270 You know, we are never going to find this list in the dark. 134 00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:35,390 Oh, thanks. 135 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:05,720 that we're doing this is because you treated Van unfairly. What exactly did I 136 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:06,720 that was unfair? 137 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:08,280 Free room and board? 138 00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:13,360 Complimentary laundry service? The job I gave him? No, no, those are all good 139 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,360 things. 140 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:20,340 Mom, that client list is just as much Van's as it is yours. 141 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,260 Porpoise poop. 142 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,640 Do you still believe that? 143 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:39,380 Yes. Then why wouldn't you want your family to be represented by the best 144 00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:40,400 possible realtor? 145 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,960 What are you saying? That you're the better realtor? 146 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,660 You really believe that? 147 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:50,060 Well, Steve Norris seems to think so. That's why they gave him the company 148 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:53,180 It's plush, and I've got a warm tushy. 149 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,800 I don't care if they gave you a Winnebago. I'm the better realtor. 150 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,020 Afraid not. 151 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,500 I've just come up with a solution to this little problem, but it won't be 152 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:10,760 You interested? 153 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,140 Interested like a fuck. 154 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,040 First one to sell a house gets the lift. 155 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:18,680 What's so hard about that? 156 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,920 Not just any house, man. The Jablonski house. 157 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,500 The Jablonski house? 158 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,760 Yeah. 159 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,840 What's the big deal about the Jablonski house? 160 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:31,480 Some say it can't be sold. 161 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:33,960 And I'm one of those some. 162 00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:37,830 So, Van, you in or out? 163 00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:39,090 Oh, I'm in. 164 00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,050 I'm in like Jack Bauer. 165 00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,290 With a small bladder. Excuse me. 166 00:13:55,530 --> 00:14:02,330 Okay, so here's the living room. It has two baths and a 167 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,470 kitchen. I think you've seen enough. So why don't we just go out to the car and 168 00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:05,470 talk deal? Oh. 169 00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:08,490 Um, okay, well, the house seems pretty good, but this is the fastest tour that 170 00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:11,350 I've ever been on. Well, it's my philosophy that a house fills itself in 171 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,590 first three minutes, so why stick around? 172 00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:16,470 Let's jog to the car. Come on. Can I see the bathroom? No, no, no, we gotta 173 00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:17,470 leave. 174 00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:26,190 Sure, today you're on time. 175 00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:40,300 positive side if you like those little bags of peanuts and little bottle of 176 00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,320 whiskey. It's right around the corner. 177 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,580 Good luck. 178 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,920 Thank you. 179 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:49,840 Crap. 180 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,500 Whoa, what's the matter, Mr. H? 181 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,560 Clients seem to be in a hurry. Oh, yeah. 182 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,120 Must have had a plane to catch. 183 00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:04,200 Laugh it up, funny boy. I'll find me a client to sell this house to. Well, it 184 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,520 better be quick because I think I found someone who's interested. 185 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,760 Mr. McGuire. This is Mrs. H. 186 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,220 Hi. Mr. 187 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,980 McGuire is looking for a house for his father. 188 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,400 So what do you think? 189 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,440 Seems all right. 190 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,560 Needs a little work, but I think my dad's really going to like it. Oh, yeah? 191 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000 Just wait. 192 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,780 What do you think you'll say about it now? 193 00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,540 I don't know. 194 00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:35,300 Dad. Dad. Dad. 195 00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:36,780 What do you think? 196 00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:38,830 Do you want to live here? 197 00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:45,230 He said that... I know what he said. I ain't blind. 198 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,570 Why don't you guys take a look at the backyard? 199 00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:54,630 It's got a beautiful tomato garden. They're huge because of the jet fuel. 200 00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,010 Oh, looks like I win. 201 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:01,670 Lift, please. 202 00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:04,570 You know what, Ben? I think this whole contest was ridiculous. 203 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,900 Just because you got lucky enough to find a client who is deaf doesn't mean 204 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:09,900 you're better than me. 205 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,260 Wow. 206 00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:16,120 I never thought I'd see the day that Mrs. H is jealous of me. 207 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,100 I'm not jealous. 208 00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:22,720 If you're not jealous, why are you acting so crazy about this client list? 209 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,120 Because I'm scared. 210 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:27,740 Scared of what? 211 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,340 Sam, when I brought you on board, I thought I had to carry your weight. 212 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,660 Turned out that you're great. 213 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,440 I actually started relying on you, and it scares me to lose you. 214 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:51,540 You know what, Mrs. H? You take the list. No. 215 00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:52,720 No, and I want you to have it. 216 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,760 I'm young and vibrant, and you're... 217 00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:02,460 Take the list. 218 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,980 No, you take it. 219 00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:08,460 You got this brand new job and I want you to hit the ground running. Then 220 00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,179 split it. 221 00:17:09,180 --> 00:17:10,579 That way you'll only be half scared. 222 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:12,619 I'll take the other half. 223 00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:13,980 And you know what? 224 00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:15,980 I'm scared too. 225 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:19,280 Oh, Van, you don't have to be scared. You can do it. 226 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:23,859 Well, if I can do it, it's because you taught me everything I know. 227 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,300 You're really something, Van. 228 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:29,120 Yeah. 229 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,800 No, I mean it. 230 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,860 You know, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, but 231 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,280 thought I couldn't tell you because I'd cry. 232 00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:55,420 You will remember these words for the rest of your life. 233 00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:05,350 Well, all I can say is, right back at ya. 234 00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:10,250 I hope you remember this little talk. 235 00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,170 Don't look at me. 236 00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:29,970 Okay, Henry, well, I've explained to you how all the pieces move. Now, the other 237 00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:34,470 thing about chess is that sometimes a game can take a long time. Are you okay 238 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,129 with that? 239 00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:37,030 Okay. Okay, great. You want to go first? 240 00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,230 Yeah. Go. 241 00:18:39,110 --> 00:18:40,850 No, no, no, you don't, you don't. 242 00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:43,270 Hey, you win. 243 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:44,630 Okay. 244 00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:47,630 Hey, honey, where you been? 245 00:18:48,150 --> 00:18:49,350 I went for a drive. 246 00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:51,950 I heard back from the station about my tape. 247 00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:53,530 Oh. 248 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:57,020 Hey, buddy, here. Why don't you take these guys upstairs and play army, okay? 249 00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,580 Hey, sweetie. 250 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:07,640 Look, I know I haven't exactly seemed supportive about this thing or phase 251 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:08,640 you're going through. 252 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,180 Brock, this is not a phase. 253 00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,500 Speaking Klingon was a phase. 254 00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:23,060 Pronouncing my name Barbara Jean, that was a phase. This is a dream that I 255 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,490 What? To stand in front of a camera and dump water on yourself? 256 00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:29,210 It's not going to rain every day, Brock. 257 00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:35,150 Why are you so threatened by this? I am not threatened. 258 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,590 Yes, you are. 259 00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:40,710 It's like ever since I lost the weight, you want to keep me bottled up here at 260 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,790 the house. I'm just worried about you. 261 00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:48,250 What? Honey, I'm trying to protect you. Come on. That tape was a little over the 262 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:50,310 top. I mean, nobody's going to take you seriously. 263 00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:51,830 Oh. 264 00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:53,450 Well, then. 265 00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:56,710 I guess I better go call them and tell them that they made a mistake. 266 00:19:57,390 --> 00:19:59,390 What? Oh, I got the job. 267 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,030 You got the job? Oh, shh. 268 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:05,670 This just in. 269 00:20:06,110 --> 00:20:08,790 Looks like you're going to have to put an extra blanket on the bed tonight. 270 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:11,090 There's a cold front coming through. 271 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:12,670 Oh, 272 00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:14,609 whoa, whoa, whoa. 273 00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:19,650 Oh, and my butt -rometer said it's going to linger. 20284