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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,349 --> 00:00:11,349 Van. 2 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:12,970 Van. Van! 3 00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:14,330 Mrs. 4 00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:18,650 H, what are you doing? 5 00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:22,170 I made you some cookies. And look, I wrote your name on this one with some M 6 00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:23,170 &Ms. 7 00:00:24,410 --> 00:00:25,410 Wow. 8 00:00:25,730 --> 00:00:27,510 I dreamt that it actually happened. 9 00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:29,690 And this time I'm wearing pants. 10 00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:35,110 Good cookie. 11 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,290 Good freaking cookie. 12 00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:42,430 What's going on? A perfect moment. Don't ruin it. 13 00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:46,530 While Van was napping, I made him some cookies. 14 00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:51,270 And milk. Your mother is treating me, well, properly. 15 00:00:53,690 --> 00:00:57,050 So Mom came home from work, saw you asleep on the couch, and instead of 16 00:00:57,050 --> 00:00:58,530 you with a spoon, she made you cookies? 17 00:00:59,670 --> 00:01:01,090 You're a freaking cookie. 18 00:01:03,790 --> 00:01:06,570 Something's fishy about this. Nothing fishy around here. 19 00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:09,130 Just a mother -in -law showing a little love. 20 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,340 Yeah, she likes me, Cheyenne. 21 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,280 Oh, I love him. I love him a lot. 22 00:01:15,380 --> 00:01:16,380 Yeah, 23 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:17,640 not just fishy. 24 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,160 Sinister. 25 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,220 We're nice to each other. 26 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,280 She made me cookies. I lent her my car. 27 00:01:46,860 --> 00:01:48,340 If it makes you feel better, I'm fine. 28 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,980 I'm terribly sorry. Get away from me, you car wrecker! Okay, Ben, okay, do not 29 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:47,780 overreact. Are you sure it's something that we could... Very easily, Vic. 30 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,060 Whoa, not the door. 31 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,920 The door's the hardest part to fix. 32 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:56,460 Oh, man. 33 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:57,920 Ben's gonna cry. 34 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:00,880 I'm not gonna cry. 35 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:03,780 No, I'm not gonna cry. 36 00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:05,580 It's fine. 37 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,000 But I'll be damned if I let you people see me not cry. 38 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,440 Oh, I'd better go after him. I've seen him like this before. 39 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,680 He writes poetry. 40 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,379 That's perfect. 41 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,540 I need a poem for school. 42 00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:21,780 Written on a fifth grade level. 43 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,580 Reva, did you do this to Van's car? 44 00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:30,200 It wasn't all my fault. There was a pole involved. 45 00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:33,620 Oh, yeah, and last week when you wrecked your car, there was a fence involved. 46 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,760 Now, could it be... 47 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,160 That you were driving without your glasses again. 48 00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:41,120 You don't live here. Why am I talking to you? 49 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,400 Rhonda. 50 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:47,800 Rhonda. 51 00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:52,460 The car I was so fond of. 52 00:03:54,140 --> 00:04:00,500 I wish I could fix you with a magic wonder. 53 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:06,260 That is beautiful. 54 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,320 Yeah, for a second grader. 55 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,880 Van, again, I am so sorry about Rhonda. Yeah, well, now I'm going to have to go 56 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:17,880 rent a Honda. 57 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,600 Reba, if you're going to drive at night without your glasses, you're going to 58 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,800 have to take other steps. 59 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,400 She wasn't wearing her glasses. 60 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:32,100 Cheyenne, she wasn't wearing her glasses. How rich. 61 00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:37,070 I mean, why should Mrs. Magoo wear her glasses? 62 00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:40,450 I hate my glasses. 63 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,110 They make me look like a grandma. 64 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:44,550 Zip it. 65 00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:49,750 Well, then why the heck don't you just get laser eye surgery? 66 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,510 I don't have time to do something like that. 67 00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:57,810 Well, Reva, you got to do something because this family is running out of 68 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:03,490 Mom, you should really think about getting that laser thing done. 69 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,840 If it only takes an afternoon, I'd be happy to stay home and look after you. 70 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,120 I could look after her, while she's blind and defenseless. 71 00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:14,840 I'm going to go read Rhonda a poem. 72 00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:21,040 Will you at least think about getting it done? 73 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:26,180 I am getting it done, Cheyenne. On Tuesday, I had my consultation today. 74 00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,160 You want to hear something ironic? 75 00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:32,160 The pole that I smashed into today was in the eye doctor's parking lot. 76 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,320 Great. Okay, so I'll stay home and take care of you. No, no, no. 77 00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:41,640 No, I don't want anybody to take care of me. I just need to ride there and back, 78 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,140 and then I want to be left alone. 79 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:44,380 Oh, I'm so excited. 80 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,660 Sir, are you just getting the eyes done, or are you going to do the bag, too? 81 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,500 Can I do that? 82 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,360 Oh, no, you're not. You're a big girl. Yes, you are. 83 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,840 So, how long until you can see? 84 00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,060 A few hours. 85 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,620 The kind of surgery I had is where they don't cut your eyeball. They just scrape 86 00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,860 it off, so the recovery's a little bit longer. 87 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:29,960 Good volume. 88 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:32,760 Good freaking volume. 89 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,400 Okay, I'm going to lead you to the couch now, all right? There's going to be a 90 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,620 little trust exercise. All right. 91 00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,700 called Jennifer. He is so cute. 92 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,180 Okay, I'll help you to the couch. Come on. No, forget it. 93 00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:55,220 Well, Mom, are you sure you're going to be okay? I feel guilty leaving you like 94 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,400 this. Looking forward to some long time. 95 00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,180 Go on to the movies. I'll be fine. 96 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,140 Okay, but call me if you need me. I'll have my cell phone, okay? 97 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,640 All right. 98 00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:05,460 Hello? 99 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,800 Oh, no, it was nothing. My mom's just blind and she fell. 100 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,660 I am totally, like, going in the house. 101 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:22,340 Move, please. No, no, no, you can't go in there. Why? Because you can. Why? 102 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,240 Because I can't tell you. Why? 103 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,500 Because Mom got the laser eye surgery and she doesn't want anyone fussing over 104 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,500 her. She's in there? 105 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:29,640 This is perfect. 106 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:31,760 I have a score to settle. 107 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,160 A vendetta. 108 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:38,460 No, no, man, no vendettas. Come on. Why don't you just forgive Mom and go to the 109 00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:39,460 movies with me, please? 110 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:41,100 You know what? You're right. 111 00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,100 That's what I'm going to do. Forgive her. You know why? 112 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,380 Because you asked me and I love you. Aw, baby. 113 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,000 Let me borrow your phone. I'm going to call ahead for some tickets. Okay, I'm 114 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,100 going to go get the car. Okay. All right. 115 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:57,440 Barbara Jean, hey. 116 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,040 Just want to let you know, Mrs. H is in trouble. 117 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,480 I know. 118 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,080 But she doesn't want anybody to help her. And I just wanted to call to make 119 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,800 that whatever you do, you don't sneak over here and make sure she's okay. 120 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,520 Bye now. 121 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,920 That was for you, Rhonda. 122 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,540 here just the other day. I know I put it here. 123 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,260 Oh, ha, ha, ha. There it is. 124 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,880 Okay. Good bread, good bread. 125 00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,540 There you go. 126 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,460 Bologna and cheese sandwich. 127 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:34,880 Good. 128 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,780 No, peanut butter. 129 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,020 I love peanut butter. 130 00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,780 Jake hid the peanut butter on me. I know. 131 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,380 Darn it. 132 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:45,900 What's right here? 133 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,500 Right by the bread. 134 00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:46,390 Where's the other piece of bread? 135 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,070 Here are carbs this way. 136 00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,270 Barbecue, what are you doing here? 137 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,320 I was here. I didn't want anybody to know. 138 00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:20,840 He made me promise I wouldn't say. 139 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,300 Brock, no van. 140 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,520 No! 141 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,560 Barbara Jean, I'm going to say this as nice as I possibly can. 142 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:31,420 Please leave me alone. 143 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,280 Reba, I can't. 144 00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:36,940 I saw you in here fumbling around. It was pathetic. 145 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:39,900 Drinking a plant. 146 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,260 Reba, let me be your eyes. 147 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:46,940 I'll read to you and I'll cut up your food and... And I'll teach you how to 148 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:47,940 your makeup on. 149 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:50,560 The right way. 150 00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:51,780 Okay, that's it. 151 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,220 I didn't ask you to be here. I don't want you here. Now get out. 152 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,020 Fine. If that's the way you feel about it, I'm leaving. 153 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:03,360 Goodbye, Reba. 154 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:04,860 And good luck. 155 00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,840 Barbara Jean, I know you're still here. 156 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:11,860 Read? Why? Just to prove you can? 157 00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:18,000 I chose a classic, Oliver Twist. 158 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:19,500 Okay. 159 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:23,920 Boring, boring, boring, blah, blah, orphan, orphan. Okay, here we go. 160 00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:28,740 Please, sir, I want some more. 161 00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:33,380 More? 162 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,900 Are you still reading? or did you just pass gas? 163 00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:44,380 Hey, we're back. 164 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,640 Oh, look, it's Barbara Jean. 165 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,500 Ah, I guess we're even. 166 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,360 Right, Mrs. H? 167 00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:52,780 Really? 168 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,400 Go check the other door. 169 00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:09,890 No, no, no. I can't leave yet, Cheyenne. I haven't taught Reba to catch the 170 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,190 little ball with a bell in it. 171 00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:14,290 Reba! Can you hear it? Reba! 172 00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:16,870 All 173 00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:23,750 right, you 174 00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:24,509 stay here. 175 00:14:24,510 --> 00:14:26,110 I'm going to go get my cell phone from the car. 176 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:32,690 So, Mom didn't want your help. I'm sure you were a very good nurse. Yeah. 177 00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,310 You know, as a kid, I always wanted to be a nurse. 178 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,260 In the high school talent show, I juggled bedpans. 179 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,000 Oh, my books. 180 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,040 I left my little dickens in the house. 181 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,580 Oh, Cheyenne, I'm glad you're back. 182 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,700 I couldn't wait to tell you about my day with Barbara Jean. 183 00:14:55,820 --> 00:15:00,760 You know, you'd think that having a laser shot in my eye would be the worst 184 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,240 of my day, but it wasn't. 185 00:15:05,260 --> 00:15:09,520 what she did no 186 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:16,520 well she sang to me and then she read to 187 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:23,400 me oh my god yeah and this really bad accent now i usually don't 188 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,940 make fun of people's accents but hers was like please 189 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,440 I was thinking to myself while she was here, why couldn't I have been deaf, 190 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,140 Mom, what did you say to Barbara Jean to make her cry? 191 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:45,460 Barbara Jean? 192 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:47,980 Oh, crap. 193 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,140 Oh, honey, maybe she was just kidding around. 194 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,440 She does not have a sense of humor, Brock. 195 00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:12,600 Get rid of her. I do not want to talk to her. 196 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,159 Barbara Jean? 197 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,900 No. No, it's me. 198 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,220 Boy, you really can't see anything, can you? No. 199 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,200 So, listen, Barbara Jean told me what happened between the two of you, and I 200 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,780 to say, Reba, it sounds like you were a little mean. 201 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,620 Oh, I knew that's what she was going to say. 202 00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:36,420 That's why I came over here, because I just had to give you my side of the 203 00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:38,440 story. Okay, great, great. What's your side? 204 00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:41,750 Well, for one thing, I made it clear that I wanted to be left alone. 205 00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:43,530 But she insisted on staying. 206 00:16:45,550 --> 00:16:47,210 You know how annoying she can be. 207 00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:54,270 I, um... Oh, Brock, don't play dumb with me. You said it just the other day, 208 00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:55,270 man, sometimes. 209 00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,910 Barbara Jean really gets old people's nerves. 210 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:02,770 No. 211 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:07,960 No. I never said that. What I said was... You know, that's not the point. 212 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:13,339 look, Reba, if you had seen Barbara Jean's face, I don't think you'd be 213 00:17:13,339 --> 00:17:16,480 defending yourself. In fact, I think you'd be apologizing right now. 214 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:18,920 Nah. 215 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:25,079 On the other hand, nah, nothing. 216 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,720 No, wait, wait, wait. What were you going to say? 217 00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:34,840 Look, Reba, just pretend that I'm her. 218 00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:37,330 What would you say? 219 00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:39,150 Oh, you just tell her. 220 00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:40,750 No, I swear I won't. 221 00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:48,270 Well, I guess I would say to her, I got mad when you tried to help me. 222 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:51,570 Because I hate thinking I might need help. It scares me. 223 00:17:53,870 --> 00:17:54,870 Go on. 224 00:17:59,470 --> 00:18:03,210 Mostly because of the way my life has turned out makes me worry. 225 00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:06,990 That there won't be anybody around to help me when I really need it. 226 00:18:08,010 --> 00:18:11,690 But the truth is, I don't need to worry about that because it looks like I'm 227 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,490 always going to have someone there for me. 228 00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,050 I know you're there, Barbara Jean, so you can hug me now. 229 00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:25,550 Was it because we're just so close you could sense my presence? 230 00:18:27,170 --> 00:18:29,530 No, I can still smell the peanut butter on you. 231 00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,370 ever forget what you just said. Ever. 232 00:18:36,870 --> 00:18:40,790 Oh, honey, I gotta go write this in my diary while it is still fresh in my 233 00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:45,530 And then she turned to me and she said, Barbara Jean, I apologize. 234 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:48,550 You have made my life a garden of orchids. 235 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,350 That was very nice, Reba. 236 00:18:52,570 --> 00:18:53,810 Yeah, I regret it already. 237 00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:56,850 Okay, I get it. You don't want to talk about it. Fine. 238 00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,550 So how's your eyesight? 239 00:18:59,610 --> 00:19:00,950 Actually, it's pretty amazing. 240 00:19:01,210 --> 00:19:02,330 Whoa! Yeah. 241 00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:04,560 You have gotten old. 242 00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:18,140 Van. 243 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,640 Van! 244 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,139 Wake up. 245 00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:26,300 Made you some more cookies. 246 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,560 Really? 247 00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,000 You're not mad about the whole Barbara Jean thing? 248 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,300 No. 249 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,510 Actually, I made these cookies as a peace offering. 250 00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:35,290 Forgive and forget. That's me. 251 00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:40,050 Wait a minute. 252 00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:42,090 Forgive and forget isn't you. 253 00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:44,250 You're hell half no fury. 254 00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:49,490 You put something in these. Just double chips. Come on, Van. Either you're going 255 00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:50,770 to eat the cookies or you're not. 256 00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:54,130 Sooner or later, we have to learn to trust each other again. 257 00:19:57,550 --> 00:19:59,610 Jake, have a cookie. 258 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,680 How is it? 259 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:07,980 Really good. 260 00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,140 How'd it go? 261 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,020 Great. I took the cookie you told me to. 262 00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:48,720 A fresh episode of the WB Comedy Hit Month. 18867