All language subtitles for Reba s03e08 The Ghost And Mrs. Hart

You love me, right?

Sounds like a trick question, but yes.

Great. Then pretend I called you a bad
name and ground me. Why?

Hey, hey.

Who's ready to go to teddy bears on ice?

I'm going to wash your mouth out with
soap, young lady. You're grounded.

I hate you, Mom.

Thanks.

Nice try, Kira.

Where's Jakey? I want to get his picture
taken with all the teddy bears.

He must be upstairs saying goodbye to
his dignity.

What's the big deal? I'm looking forward
to it.

They have Heineken on tap, so... Hey,
listen, I thought you said you were

to have Jakey ready to go.

He didn't sleep very well last night,
Brock.

He had nightmares.

Any idea why?

Dad let him watch scary movies.

You and the teddy bears started it.

So he's learning how to process fear.
It's a good thing.

Well, it might not be the movies that
scared him, Dad. It might be because...

Kira.

Because what?

Nothing. Dad's house is haunted.

Wow, how bitter am I about going to this
thing?

We just let it go.

Well, the real estate agent told Dad
that a former owner died in the house.

didn't die in the house.

He just happened to be home at the time
he passed away.

You bought a haunted house?

It's not haunted.

And next to toxic mold, death is one of
the best bargaining chips in real

estate.

Now, can we please stop talking about
this before Barbara Jean hears?

Fine by me. Making Barbara Jean nuts is
only fun when you don't live with her.

I don't live with her.

No, no, Reva, you can't tell her. Oh,
why not? Because she might get scared

keep you up at night?

It might help her learn to process fear.

I am not kidding, Reba. She really
believes everything.

I mean, ghosts, witches. She even thinks
the bag boy down at the grocery store

gave her the evil eye.

I like that kid.

Hey, we're all ready.

I don't want to go.

I sat through your Christmas pageant.
You're gone.

Barbara Jean, you'll never believe what
I just heard about the people who used

to live in your house. Oh, really? What?

Hey, come on. We better get going if we
want to beat the traffic. Come on.

Let's go.

Wow, I've heard of people dying to sell
their house, but wow.

Okay, everybody in the car, away from
Reba. Oh, Brock, I'm just teasing.

I'm not going to tell Barbara Jean that
someone died in your house.

Unless it slipped.

She nailed the drawers shut and hid the
knives.

Not that I was looking for one.

Why did you do this?

Ghosts like to open drawers.

So do I.

Since when?

Since your ghostly essence injured my
husband's weak vessel. Brock, can you

me?

I am not possessed, Barbara Jean, and
there is nothing wrong with this house.

For pity's sake, we've lived here for
three months and nothing has happened.

What about all those noises I heard in
the garage last week?

Is that what you're worried about,
sweetheart?

I have good news.

It was rats.

Well, how about when all my beanie
babies ended up in the attic?

That was...

You're right. That was

a little weird. Yeah.

There's no way to answer the door at a
haunted house.

You're supposed to go, you rang.

Oh, that's very funny.

Well, I hope you're happy.

You've made Barbara Jean crazy.

Oh, Barbara Jean was born crazy, Brock.

I can't take credit for God's work.

All right, fine. You made your point. I
won't let Jake watch any more scary

movies. Now, will you please tell
Barbara Jean there are no ghosts in this

house? Won't you tell her?

Oh, she won't listen to me. I still
can't convince her that the ghost won't

us just because we're not all in the
same room.

Family safety count. One.

Two.

Three.

Please, Reba, talk to her. She'll listen
to you.

Oh, hi, Reba.

You are Reba.

Aren't you?

You're rib all right.

Oh, and you can be number four.

Okay.

What number is that lady going to be
behind you? What lady?

No.

No lady.

There is no lady. No, because she just
went through that wall.

Oh, my gosh. Is it suddenly chillier in
here?

that for? I can't help it. It's funny.

Funny? Funny? You think it's funny that
I had to spin around ten times last

night before I got into bed? I broke a
perfectly good lamp.

It's a little funny.

I can't stay here.

We're going to spend the day at the
mall.

Reba.

Yeah, you'll be safer there.

Or you could just hang out at Reba's.
Even better.

I'll see you at home, Reba.

Oh, it's a little funny.

And that's when I thought, all the
sticks at the base of that tree spelled

the words Barbara Jean, but not in a
language anyone's ever seen before.

Oh my gosh, I know that language.

What does that mean?

Go home!

Well, where do you want me to go?

Brock's still at work and Kira's not
home from school yet. You certainly

expect me to be alone in a house with a
ghost.

You have a ghost?

Oh, yeah.

Someone died there.

That doesn't mean anything.

Where you get this crazy connection
between ghost and dead people is beyond

You know what?

I wonder if anyone ever died here.

People died in our house? Oh,

not yet.

Hey, Jake, you want a popsicle? Oh, I
ate the last one.

Okay, how about a cookie? Nope, those
are gone, too.

Ice cream?

Guilty.

I think the ghost at her house starved
to death.

All right, Henry and Elizabeth are
finally down for their naps. Oh, you

thanks so much for watching Henry.

I couldn't possibly let a baby spend the
night in a haunted house.

I don't believe in ghosts.

I believe in the circle of life.

You

know,

it's great for Elizabeth to have someone
her own age to play with. I mean, how

much time can an adult play in peek -a
-boo? Tell me about it. Where's

Elizabeth? I don't have to look. I know
she's right there. Yeah.

Well, we don't play those kind of games
with Henry.

We give him toys that expand his mind.

Henry plays with that?

Uh -huh. Wasn't that a toy for, like,
ages five and up? Oh, yeah.

But they just put those ages on the box
to make dumb kids' parents feel better.

So what does Elizabeth play with? Mostly
her feet. Oh. She can fit five toes in

her mouth.

Anyway, I bet Reba's looking for me by
now.

Reba!

We need to get Elizabeth a tutor. Now.

Yeah.

So that's why I didn't become a
zookeeper.

Because once a kangaroo decides it
doesn't like you, forget it.

So, tell me some of your unfulfilled
dreams.

Most of them involve you.

And a train.

Hey. Well, isn't this cozy?

Reba, I've got to thank you.

You know, I would have worried leaving
Barbara Jean all alone with that ghost

you told her about.

Luckily, she was over here, safe with
you all day long.

Okay, then, I can see you two have had
enough fun. Barbara Jean, honey, you can

come home. I found out that our house
can't be haunted because the man who

there had a very peaceful passing.

Oh, really?

Yeah, and then his wife, insane with
grief, killed herself and their pet dog.

was on her way back to your house. I
know. I nipped that one in the bud.

Hey, so it's come down to this.

Barbara Jean, I got you a little
something.

Here you go.

Getting rid of the unwanted.

I saw it and thought of you.

What is it?

It's instructions for cleansing your
house of evil spirits, but it's not that

easy, though.

It takes two people all night.

Do you really have to have two people?

Yep.

One, two.

Have fun, Bob.

Well, gee, thanks, Reba.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to be home
this weekend.

What? He's got a golf trip in Vegas that
he can't get out of.

Hey, I only get to play golf twice. The
rest of the time, I'm stuck in Vegas.

Kira?

Well, don't look at me. I'm spending the
night at Tammy's.

You hate Tammy.

Yeah, but at least she doesn't walk
around with a bloody act calling, here's

spot.

Hey, you know what?

Reba bought you the book. I bet she
could help you get rid of that ghost.

Oh, Reba, would you?

I just can't live with an evil presence
in my house.

Then you shouldn't have married him.

I'm sorry, Barbara Jean, but there's no
way I'm going to spend the night at your

house chasing ghosts.

Well, if you won't help me cleanse the
house, I guess I'm just going to have to

stay here until Brock gets back.

Oh, that'd be great. Then I could take
the later flight home.

I've just got one thing to say to you.

Well, I'll call you when I get to the
hotel, which I think is one of those

really loud strips.

I'm not going to get any reading done.

Okay, sweetums.

I love you. I love you more, huggums.

Man, this house is scary.

Okay, Reba.

I'm going to go get this stuff, and then
we can get started.

Oh, if this weren't so terrifying, it'd
be fun.

Rob, next time you leave me for
somebody, make sure she's not a big old

It's too bad we can't all be as brave as
you, Reba. Hey, you got a spider in

your hair.

Nice try, bro.

Look out, ghost! Reba's busting a move!

Can we just get this over

with, please?

Okie doke.

We need to perform a seance, contact the
lingering spirit, and politely ask him

to leave.

He will then communicate his responses
through the supernatural powers of the

Ouija board.

Made by Parker Brothers.

Fun for the whole family, living and
dead.

4282 Oak Avenue.

This is Barbara Jean and Reba calling.

Say hello, Reba.

Sup?

If there is an otherworldly presence in
this house,

is waiting for you upstairs to go sing
your goofy opera version of Twinkle,

Twinkle, Little Star.

Well, singing opera won't make her
smarter.

What are you talking about?

I've been reading these child
development books, and we've been doing

with Elizabeth.

I don't think so, Van. Oh, yes, we have.
We've wasted so much time.

All that time I spent blowing on her
stomach. I could have been teaching her

periodic table of elements.

Van, Elizabeth laughs when you blow on
her stomach.

Well, there's plenty of time for
laughter later when she's a chemist.

Okay, all right. Look, I do not know
what you are all worked up about.

I told you, it is completely normal for
kids to develop at different rates.

Yeah, but what if she's behind the other
kids to begin with? Why would she be

behind? Because of me.

Maybe I'm not the sharpest tool in the
chandelier.

You're plenty sharp.

Yeah, right.

I couldn't tie my shoe until I was five
years old. Yeah, and your mom told me

why. Because when you put the little
rabbit through the rabbit hole, all of a

sudden your shoes would turn into a
spaceship or a race car and you'd run

your sock playing this incredibly
creative game.

Yeah, those rabbits were kind of
hilarious.

You are kind of hilarious.

And inventive.

And smart.

And your daughter is going to be the
same way.

I meant to say the sharpest tool in the
shed.

I like the way you said it the first
time.

I'm going to go check on the kids.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

It wasn't a ghost, it was a blown fuse.

Hey, by the way, you got rats in your
garage.

What are you doing?

You're not taking this seriously, so the
cleansing is off.

I'll just stay somewhere else until
Brock gets back.

Where, my house?

You're not my only friend.

I'll stay at... a motel.

Barbara Jean, I was just kidding around.

Well, I'm not laughing.

And the ghost isn't laughing. And if he
were laughing, it would sound like...

Ghost, you're brave.

I've seen you either raising that off
the sidewalk.

It was a junior mint, and I caught it
before it hit the ground.

Besides, what do you know about fear,
Miss I'm -not -afraid -of -anything?

Why does everybody say that I'm not
afraid of anything?

Because you're not.

You're not afraid of the dark, or
thunder, or wearing pink with red hair,

is not wise, but you do it.

Fearless, Reba?

It's not that I'm fearless. It's just
that I think believing in ghosts is

Well, you wouldn't think it was so silly
if the ghost was after you.

What are you talking about?

If I tell you, you're just going to make
fun of me. Barbara Jean, I'm already

making fun of you.

All right.

If you must know, the ghost is after me
because I'm a bad person.

What? I stole your husband.

I broke up your family, and now I have a
way better house than you do.

So the reason you're afraid of ghosts is
because you think they're going to

punish you for what you did?

Yes. Oh, Barbara Jean.

If anybody's going to punish you, it's
me.

And I promise you, when I die, I will
haunt you.

Every noise you hear, every time you
trip, every bad hair day, it'll be me.

Reba, don't try to make me feel better.

It just makes it worse.

Because this horrible thing that I've
done, that I can't undo.

Barbara Jean, we're not best friends.

Barbara Jean, things happen for a
reason.

Like maybe you're in my life because...
Reba?

I needed someone to ruin everything for
me.

Well, yeah, I can see how that was
helpful. No, no, no. You know what?

was.

I've lived through my biggest fears.

My husband left, Kira moved out, and
things seem to be just falling apart.

You know, nothing gets scarier than
that.

But because of you, I know that I can
deal with anything now.

I wish I had the kind of courage brought
on by deep personal tragedy.

Well, you married Brock, that's a start.

So can we call off this whole house
-cleansing bit?

Okay.

Hey, Reba, do you want to ask the Ouija
board if Brock's been a good boy in

Vegas? Oh, Barbara Jean, you don't think
that thing really works, do you?