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1
00:00:01,180 --> 00:00:04,273
Maybe this is important, Dr Brown,
I don't know.
2
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:08,109
Ever since Nat was born, I've had
this recurring dream.
3
00:00:08,815 --> 00:00:11,731
I'm old, sitting in my chair.
4
00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:14,513
I'm not sure which one
of us creaks the most.
5
00:00:15,774 --> 00:00:17,809
Sunlight beams through the roof,
6
00:00:18,299 --> 00:00:20,529
a warm breeze drifts in from the garden,
7
00:00:21,085 --> 00:00:25,095
and Nat plays Bach on the piano
one last time for her daddy.
8
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,986
And I'm overwhelmed with this feeling
9
00:00:29,022 --> 00:00:32,083
that if everything was to end,
10
00:00:33,893 --> 00:00:36,169
I'd have spent no
happier seconds on Earth
11
00:00:37,207 --> 00:00:40,675
than in this perfect stolen moment
12
00:00:41,947 --> 00:00:43,428
in my conservatory.
13
00:00:45,199 --> 00:00:47,888
I mean, it would make the perfect
music room, wouldn't it, Trish?
14
00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:49,805
Yes, it would. Can we afford it?
15
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,687
Well, I mean, after that pitch,
perhaps the question is,
16
00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:54,559
can we afford not to?
17
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,697
Like I said, Ralph,
the finance takes care of itself.
18
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,480
- Now, if I could just get you to sign.
- Absolutely.
19
00:01:02,983 --> 00:01:03,992
Thank you.
20
00:01:05,645 --> 00:01:06,805
All right.
21
00:01:09,465 --> 00:01:12,018
I didn't know your daughter played.
What grade is she?
22
00:01:12,054 --> 00:01:14,596
- Oh, she's top, top grade.
- What, grade eight?
23
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,165
I thought grade eight was the top grade?
24
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,609
It is, for most people.
25
00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,063
Look, I better let you get
on with your day.
26
00:01:21,099 --> 00:01:23,000
Like I said, I will fast
track the conservatory,
27
00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:25,881
so you can start enjoying every beam
of sunlight this gorgeous summer
28
00:01:25,917 --> 00:01:27,705
- has to offer us.
- Oh, fantastic!
29
00:01:28,151 --> 00:01:29,718
- Oh, exciting!
- Very exciting.
30
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,654
- Phwoar!
- Ugh, Dad!
31
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,525
Come on, then. Come on, then.
32
00:01:40,982 --> 00:01:43,005
- Where do you think you're going?
- Out.
33
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,252
Well, thank you for the
packed information bulletin,
34
00:01:45,288 --> 00:01:46,658
make sure you're back for tea.
35
00:01:46,915 --> 00:01:49,189
Nat, sweetheart,
if the couple over the road ask,
36
00:01:49,225 --> 00:01:50,950
- can you say you play piano?
- As if!
37
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,593
Where have you been?
38
00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:54,932
Just saying hello to the new neighbours.
39
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,365
♪ If I were to say to you,
"can you keep a secret?" ♪
40
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,205
♪ Would you know just what to do
Or where to keep it? ♪
41
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,285
♪ Then I say, "I love you"
Foul the situation ♪
42
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,605
♪ Hey, girl, I thought we were
the right combination... ♪
43
00:02:11,781 --> 00:02:14,005
In the eight months that
Essex's answer to Al Capone
44
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,936
had been in charge of Cachet,
there's been a lot of changes.
45
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,084
We moved showroom for one.
46
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,780
Believe it or not,
a fire broke out at the last one.
47
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,725
♪ Shoot that poison arrow
to my heart... ♪
48
00:02:26,908 --> 00:02:29,426
The cause, completely unknown.
49
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,765
And our new showroom was clearly
doubling up as a nocturnal base
50
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,553
for some of Ronnie's
more primitive criminal affairs.
51
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,556
Either that or he was running
and S&M playhouse after dark.
52
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,756
Little token of my appreciation.
53
00:02:44,792 --> 00:02:47,591
Also, instead of cash,
Ronnie insisted on paying
54
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:50,523
out bonuses in reclaimed goodies
from his debt collection business.
55
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,920
Congratulations.
56
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,765
To be honest, I'd have walked by now
if it wasn't for the small matter
57
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,885
of £50,000 that Ronnie insisted
on me paying back to the business.
58
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:05,644
I guess you lot might call
this karma for stitching up Walshy.
59
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,485
Luckily, us salesmen don't believe
in such supernatural bullocks
60
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,160
like karma, fate, morality.
61
00:03:11,394 --> 00:03:13,554
They tend to be a handicap
to what we do.
62
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,443
The business itself was still booming,
63
00:03:15,479 --> 00:03:18,364
mainly thanks to the invention
of this little beauty.
64
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,695
The PVCU, double-glazed conservatory.
65
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:25,743
There was only one minor downside,
for all Walshy's faults,
66
00:03:25,779 --> 00:03:27,417
he did make top-notch windows.
67
00:03:27,453 --> 00:03:29,844
Since he'd left, we had
to use new suppliers,
68
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,779
and the quality of our
products was dropping faster
69
00:03:31,815 --> 00:03:33,415
than Michael Jackson's face-lift.
70
00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:35,976
Not second, it's the third
time you've been around.
71
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,565
Meanwhile, the other half of
Cachet's undynamic duo was beginning
72
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,085
to accept his fate
in the world of sales.
73
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,971
Peak Personal Performance.
74
00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,605
It's a set of technologies designed
75
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,031
to help you take control of your life,
76
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:52,885
mentally, physically,
emotionally and financially.
77
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,970
Now, who wants to tell me their story?
78
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,032
- You, sir, in the front row, making notes.
- Sorry.
79
00:03:58,068 --> 00:03:59,888
Cos we've all got a story, right?
80
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,741
Me, I was married at 16,
81
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:07,605
first love, he was captain of
the Manchester United under-18s.
82
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,650
Problem was, it wasn't just
United he was scoring for.
83
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,944
He was shagging everything
in Manchester with a pulse.
84
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,186
So, I found myself divorced at 21,
85
00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:22,565
and I left that marriage with zero
qualifications, zero self-esteem,
86
00:04:22,982 --> 00:04:25,466
and zero effing clue
what the future held.
87
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,365
I took my last 300 quid and
I booked on one of these courses,
88
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:35,165
so I was you, sat there, day one,
not a clue what to expect,
89
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,325
praying that the loud American
on stage didn't point at me
90
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,440
and ask me what my story was.
91
00:04:41,984 --> 00:04:44,732
And I think I was just about to leave
92
00:04:46,029 --> 00:04:48,623
when I heard something that hit me, bam!
93
00:04:49,381 --> 00:04:53,085
It was like a bucket of cold water,
and that message was this:
94
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:58,487
the past does not equal the future.
95
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,401
One month later, I got
my first job in sales.
96
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,845
Six months after that,
I was headhunted by Everest Windows
97
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,695
to run their North West operation.
98
00:05:07,654 --> 00:05:11,485
A few weeks after that,
my ex broke his leg in three places
99
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:15,024
and had to retire from football.
Yes, you are allowed to cheer.
100
00:05:15,060 --> 00:05:17,045
Yay!
101
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,853
So, Martin, what's your story?
102
00:05:20,607 --> 00:05:22,984
I left the band of a well-known pop star
103
00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:25,825
- just before he had a massive number one hit.
- Ouch!
104
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,159
Step away from the past, Martin.
What do you want out of this?
105
00:05:30,092 --> 00:05:32,485
I want to become better at selling.
106
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,473
And?
107
00:05:33,509 --> 00:05:35,445
I feel that my default
setting is acceptance.
108
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,725
I need to start taking
control of my life.
109
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,647
I want to become more assertive.
110
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,568
And you will make that happen.
111
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,965
Right, who's next?
Gentleman at the back.
112
00:05:45,314 --> 00:05:48,862
- Tommy?
- It's Tony, they fucked the badge up.
113
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,169
- Walshy?
- What do you want from this, Tony?
114
00:05:51,205 --> 00:05:54,493
Well, if life has taught me
one thing it's that salesmen,
115
00:05:54,529 --> 00:05:57,805
like haemorrhoids, are massive
pains in my fucking arse
116
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,408
that I could well do without.
117
00:05:59,444 --> 00:06:02,639
OK, and what are you hoping
to get from this course?
118
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,098
I want to become one.
119
00:06:07,331 --> 00:06:09,828
A salesman, not a haemorrhoid.
120
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,045
Maybe a Jacuzzi, put
a little champagne on ice.
121
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,645
The little shit's up next.
122
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,081
Where'd you get a hold of this, Carol?
123
00:06:21,121 --> 00:06:25,805
A friend of mine wanted to try one
of those new video dating agencies.
124
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,285
- A friend.
- OK, where do I start?
125
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,805
I'm Brian, I'm 28 years old.
126
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,645
What the fuck?
127
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,203
I don't know what I'm
looking for, really.
128
00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:36,072
I suppose what I'm not looking for
129
00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:38,925
is a big, 30st monster
that can't stop thinking
130
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,708
about eating food. Yeah.
131
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,605
- Good to put that out at first.
- Oh, special interests?
132
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,365
Well, I like fun, having fun.
133
00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:51,925
I suppose I'm looking for
someone who likes having fun.
134
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,605
Oh, wow, Brian! You're such an enigma!
135
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,525
I never thought I'd meet another
human who was interested in fun.
136
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,925
You've probably already noticed
I have incredibly deep brown eyes.
137
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,485
I've been told that makes
me seem mysterious.
138
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,160
By who, the police?
139
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,844
I think it's vile.
140
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,405
Married men preying on desperate,
vulnerable, single women
141
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,827
like me. My friend.
142
00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:15,256
I've got a good mind
to show this to Maureen.
143
00:07:15,292 --> 00:07:16,586
- Who?
- Thyroid.
144
00:07:16,622 --> 00:07:19,844
Finally, I have no history
of domestic violence,
145
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,626
a clean driving licence.
146
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,005
I do have a cat allergy,
but I'm willing to take
147
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,036
an antihistamine for the right woman.
148
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:29,925
Just to clarify, that is no,
N-O history of domestic violence.
149
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,765
Don't even know why I brought that up.
150
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,000
Unbelievable!
151
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,685
This, this is a violation
of my basic human rights!
152
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,203
Those protests would carry
more weight if they weren't coming
153
00:07:40,239 --> 00:07:43,205
- from a philandering shitbag.
- She's got a point, mate.
154
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,766
Look, it's not what you think.
155
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,445
She's left me. OK?
156
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,505
Yeah?
157
00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:55,306
So, do me a favour, and just bloody
well leave it alone, will you?
158
00:07:57,584 --> 00:07:59,374
As an indirect result of getting hooked
159
00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:01,792
on Brian's amphetamine-based
slimming pills,
160
00:08:01,828 --> 00:08:04,745
Maureen had started hitting
her local aerobics class.
161
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,685
One, two, three, four,
thrust, six, seven,
162
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,325
and, one, two, three, four...
163
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,165
♪ And I, I've got to have
my way now, baby... ♪
164
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,295
OK, and down.
165
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,805
Then arch your back.
166
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,885
As well as getting thighs
like Jane Fonda's,
167
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,077
she was also getting
extra one-on-one tuition...
168
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,340
...in the art of home lesbionics.
169
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,045
Fitzpatrick was too embarrassed
to tell us he turned Maureen gay,
170
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,233
so he moves out of the house
and into his shed.
171
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,165
♪ You spin me right round, baby ♪
172
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,205
♪ Right round like a record, baby
Right round, round, round ♪
173
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,605
♪ You spin me right round, baby ♪
174
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,285
♪ Right round like a record, baby
Right round, round, round. ♪
175
00:08:58,589 --> 00:08:59,805
Look, it's probably for the best.
176
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,566
I mean, you said yourself
there were problems.
177
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,952
Let me make you a nice cup
of tea to say sorry.
178
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,065
I mean, don't get me wrong,
we despise each other.
179
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,452
It's like when I had that
cyst removed last year.
180
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,285
It was fucking agony at the time,
and it definitely had to go,
181
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,445
but even now, when I look
at myself in the mirror,
182
00:09:18,481 --> 00:09:21,995
I just feel like there's someone
else staring back at me.
183
00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:24,605
- I thought that cyst was on your arsehole.
- It was.
184
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,898
Why are you staring at your arsehole
in the mirror, Brian?
185
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,379
That's the only way you can see it.
186
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,165
Fair enough. Anyway,
187
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,405
I've got something
that might cheer you boys up.
188
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:36,240
Bumped into Walshy the other day,
he's getting back in the business.
189
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,485
"W-windows?" Is that a fucking typo?
190
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,377
Well, it's certainly
a unique selling point.
191
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,898
Britain's first double-glazing
company with a stutter.
192
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,525
- He's pronouncing it as W Windows.
- That's just as fucking ludicrous.
193
00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,469
Guess I'll have to put him
out of business again.
194
00:09:52,505 --> 00:09:53,713
Was he tapping you up to sell for him?
195
00:09:53,749 --> 00:09:55,326
No, no. That's the best part,
196
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,445
- he's going to be doing his own selling.
- Ha!
197
00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,165
I cannot think of anyone
less suitable to sell windows
198
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,405
to the public than that fucking lunatic.
199
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,525
Present company excepted,
of course, lavatory.
200
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,685
Oh, you've perked up.
I think the shit salesman jokes
201
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,485
might be slightly past
their sell-by date.
202
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,244
I've outsold you for
the past three weeks.
203
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,325
Oh, really?
204
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,205
Come see me when you've posted
the numbers I do over a 12-month
205
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,028
period, then we'll talk, sunshine.
206
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,613
The past does not equal
the future, Fitzpatrick.
207
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,725
For those of you wondering
if there are downsides
208
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,445
to all this new-found success,
may I present exhibit A,
209
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,454
a dinner party with the new neighbours.
210
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:38,185
Emily? James?
211
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,985
Robbie and Nat are here.
Do you want to go up?
212
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,925
I'd prefer to stay down here
and talk with the adults.
213
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,645
Sweetpea, if Patricia and Ralph
had wanted a disturbing presence
214
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,234
at the dinner table,
we would've brought a Ouija board.
215
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,591
When are you going to grow up?!
216
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,405
And now magazine
publishing, how did you,
217
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:56,768
how did you find your way into that?
218
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,765
Um, it was a colleague of Vincent's
that actually offered me the job.
219
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,045
- I wouldn't call him a colleague.
- Ooh, intriguing.
220
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,212
What's the story?
221
00:11:05,304 --> 00:11:07,119
Well he's actually a very good boss,
222
00:11:07,155 --> 00:11:09,753
but him and Vincent don't
really see eye to eye.
223
00:11:09,789 --> 00:11:11,363
That's because I'm three
foot taller than him,
224
00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:12,594
and he's a fucking midget.
225
00:11:13,512 --> 00:11:15,437
You don't approve, Vincent?
226
00:11:15,473 --> 00:11:17,525
Well, luckily, I don't need
Vincent's approval,
227
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,005
but despite what he's been saying,
you've actually been very
228
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,386
supportive, haven't you, baby?
229
00:11:21,422 --> 00:11:24,444
Now, listen, apologies for, uh,
for talking shop, Vincent,
230
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,421
but I just wanted to confirm, it's
Monday that the fitters are coming?
231
00:11:28,457 --> 00:11:29,999
Yeah, let me know when it's convenient,
232
00:11:30,035 --> 00:11:31,960
- and I'll make it happen.
- Great.
233
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,200
- Oh, what's this?
- The new conservatory.
234
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:37,660
Oh.
235
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,845
So, Robbie, your mum tells me
you're taking the 11 plus.
236
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,885
Yeah, even harder when I go
to grammar school.
237
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,845
It's for the posh ponces and gays,
ain't that right, Dad?
238
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,005
- Absolutely.
- Robbie!
239
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,565
- That's where Emily and James go.
- I mean, absolutely not.
240
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,005
Well, don't worry, Rob.
If your actual results
241
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,125
are as bad as your marks,
you won't have to suffer
242
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,085
the indignity of a first-rate education.
243
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,325
If he's as bright as he seems,
244
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,525
there are always other avenues
to getting selected.
245
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,525
No point in being a school governor
if you don't get a little sway
246
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,769
- in these matters.
- Patricia, you're a governor?
247
00:12:13,805 --> 00:12:15,720
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow!
248
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,765
- Right, that's it, you're dead!
- Oh, I'm scared Rob!
249
00:12:20,108 --> 00:12:22,765
Did you have to sell them
a bloody conservatory?
250
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,925
Seeing as they already
have new windows, yes.
251
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,245
Don't get fucking cute with me.
252
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,285
Sweetheart, they said
they needed an extra room,
253
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,485
I offered to help.
What was I supposed to do?
254
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,960
Send them to Walshy?
255
00:12:32,574 --> 00:12:35,285
I'm warning you,
don't shit on our doorstep,
256
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:36,584
I like it here.
257
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,888
I like having neighbours
that haven't been to prison,
258
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,616
or aren't sex offenders.
259
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,851
Don't fuck this up for us.
260
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,925
Ah, Brendan, just the man
I wanted to see.
261
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,685
I need you to fast-track a
conservatory for my new neighbours.
262
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,365
I told them you'd get started next week.
263
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,725
Well, unless they want a conservatory
built on the Isle of Wight,
264
00:12:57,761 --> 00:13:00,232
they'll have to fucking wait.
I'm off on holiday Monday.
265
00:13:00,268 --> 00:13:03,173
I don't remember seeing a holiday
form for Brendan, do you, Carol?
266
00:13:03,209 --> 00:13:05,801
- Didn't know we had holiday forms.
- You're not fucking going.
267
00:13:05,837 --> 00:13:06,843
Hang on!
268
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:09,231
Until I start receiving
a company pension
269
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,425
or getting paid in anything
other than cash by this firm,
270
00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:14,405
- I'll do as I fucking well please!
- OK, let me put this another way.
271
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,925
You either get my neighbours'
conservatory built next week,
272
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,157
or you can holiday
on the Isle of Sacked, forever.
273
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,139
- OK, fine.
- Good.
274
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,380
Carol's got the details, I'll
tell them to expect you Monday.
275
00:13:23,416 --> 00:13:25,590
No, I meant, "OK, fine, sack me."
276
00:13:25,653 --> 00:13:28,085
Walshy's looking for fitters,
he called me last week.
277
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,805
You can fit the fucking
glorified porch yourself!
278
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,045
I'll have driven him out of
business by the time you get
279
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,339
back from that stinking
fucking caravan holiday!
280
00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:36,791
Well, I suppose I won't
be bringing you back
281
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,347
any coloured sand now, then, will I?
282
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:44,285
The great British Jobcentre.
Chances are, if you're looking
283
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,275
for a vocation in life, it's not
going to be advertised
284
00:13:46,311 --> 00:13:49,191
on a four-inch card in one of these
graveyards for the unemployable.
285
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,067
Excuse me, sir.
286
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,623
Are you available to work today?
287
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,877
- Depends.
- Depends on what?
288
00:14:01,083 --> 00:14:02,351
Depends on what it is.
289
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:04,445
I'm not going to drive
a van off the Dartford Bridge
290
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,233
just because someone's paying me, am I?
291
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,765
Well, that's a very wise
mantra to live your life by.
292
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,165
I can tell I'm dealing
with a high-calibre individual.
293
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,325
- So, what is it?
- I represent Cachet Windows And Doors.
294
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,243
We're currently running
an induction course
295
00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:17,131
for trainee fenestration engineers.
296
00:14:17,338 --> 00:14:18,618
What's fenestration?
297
00:14:18,654 --> 00:14:21,657
The science of windows.
Have you got any carpentry skills?
298
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:22,600
No.
299
00:14:22,636 --> 00:14:24,116
- Can you lay bricks?
- No.
300
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,280
Do you have any experience
at all in the building trade?
301
00:14:29,009 --> 00:14:30,982
- I can dig holes.
- That will do.
302
00:14:31,018 --> 00:14:33,150
Vincent Swan, pleased to meet you.
Come with me.
303
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,725
Hello, Patricia, love. This is
Barry, he's our top fitter.
304
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,565
I had to pull him from another job,
but neighbours do come first.
305
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,245
Oh, well, why don't you come
in and get yourself settled, Barry?
306
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,459
I'll put the kettle on.
307
00:14:46,562 --> 00:14:50,243
- My name is not Barry, it's Derek.
- Yeah, it's a nickname.
308
00:14:50,453 --> 00:14:52,525
"Barry who ain't Barry",
his old apprentice gave him it,
309
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,969
and it sort of stuck, didn't it, Bazzer?
310
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,226
- Oh, well, sugar, Barry?
- Four and a half, please.
311
00:14:57,276 --> 00:14:58,276
Right.
312
00:15:00,286 --> 00:15:02,291
I don't know how to build
a fucking conservatory!
313
00:15:02,327 --> 00:15:04,081
Well, there's no better place
to learn than on the job.
314
00:15:04,568 --> 00:15:05,568
It's easy.
315
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,775
You lay the foundation,
knock through to the lounge,
316
00:15:07,811 --> 00:15:10,045
then piece it all together.
There's even an instruction manual.
317
00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:11,512
It's like a giant Lego set.
318
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,565
My doctor told me to avoid
stressful situations.
319
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,325
Fuck me, Barry, would an
extra 20 quid help relieve
320
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,574
some of that stress for you?
321
00:15:19,074 --> 00:15:20,285
- Mm-hmm.
- Right.
322
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,152
Well, I'll pop back in an hour
and see how you're getting on.
323
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,366
Everything you need is in the van.
324
00:15:23,442 --> 00:15:24,798
Call the showroom if you need me.
325
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,165
The first rule of sales
warfare is "know your enemy",
326
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,509
so I sent the boys on a little
reconnaissance mission.
327
00:15:33,955 --> 00:15:35,629
State of that.
328
00:15:36,054 --> 00:15:37,954
No, it's not bullocks, it's science.
329
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,947
The sealed unit reduces...
330
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,400
There's no need for that!
331
00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:49,324
You're missing out, mate!
332
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,090
Oh, for f...
333
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:57,071
Why didn't you tell me you were
moving 45 fucking minutes ago?!
334
00:15:58,943 --> 00:16:02,924
Next time you want to waste
someone's time, call the Samaritans!
335
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,007
This is going to be
easier than we all thought.
336
00:16:08,043 --> 00:16:09,743
Yeah, I know.
337
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:17,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
338
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,965
Good afternoon, W Windows.
339
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,760
Oh, hello, is that W-windows?
340
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,364
Yes, sir, but it's pronounced W Windows.
341
00:16:28,608 --> 00:16:32,392
Oh, right, I was after
W-windows, never mind.
342
00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:35,467
No, sir, it is W-windows,
but it's pronounced...
343
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,853
How can I help you today, sir?
344
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,885
Well, I was just wondering,
do you only do w-windows,
345
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,806
or do you do d-doors
as well, you d-daft w-wanker?
346
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,566
What?! What?!
347
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,529
Ha-ha!
348
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,074
Oh, shit, he's coming out!
349
00:17:00,341 --> 00:17:01,805
Come on, go!
350
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,356
- Sam, can I have a quick word?
- Yeah, of course.
351
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,165
It's about the new conservatory.
352
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,525
I have left several
messages at the showroom,
353
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,845
but no-one's called me back yet.
354
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,013
We're having a few teething problems.
355
00:17:35,742 --> 00:17:36,833
Teething problems?
356
00:17:36,869 --> 00:17:40,444
Hmm. A spot of leakage,
some of the windows open inwards.
357
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,845
I mean, nothing that can't
be tweaked, I'm sure.
358
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:43,742
Right.
359
00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:47,005
Well, um, Vincent's been away
for a few days on a training course,
360
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,845
but he'll be mortified when I tell him.
361
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,965
In fact, why don't you come to us
for dinner tomorrow
362
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,365
to make up for the inconvenience?
363
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,845
And I promise I'll make sure
364
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,725
Vincent gets those bloody tweaks
sorted before then.
365
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,810
Marvellous. Thank you, neighbour.
366
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,745
Vincent, you wanker.
367
00:18:01,989 --> 00:18:04,765
As predicted, not only
is there a steaming great turd
368
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,005
on our doorstep, but as fucking always,
369
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,936
- I'm the one left to clean it up.
- Honey, I'll take care of it.
370
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,791
The customer always
thinks they're right,
371
00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:13,146
it's my job to convince them otherwise.
372
00:18:13,182 --> 00:18:15,249
It's hardly a matter
of opinion is it, Vincent?
373
00:18:15,285 --> 00:18:17,382
They've either got a bloody
leaking conservatory,
374
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,240
- or they haven't.
- Exactly.
375
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,559
Look, don't worry, I'll tell Pat all
our conservatories leak at first,
376
00:18:23,595 --> 00:18:25,655
they just need
a bit of time to settle in.
377
00:18:26,631 --> 00:18:28,749
I mean, you couldn't have
said anything more worrying.
378
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,685
- Barry. Barry, mate!
- It's Derek.
379
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,912
Derek, the newly qualified
fitter, don't you mean?
380
00:18:38,948 --> 00:18:40,738
Congratulations, you've made the grade.
381
00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:42,819
Now, come on, I need you to take a
look at that test job you did for me.
382
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:43,992
I can't, I've got to sign on.
383
00:18:44,028 --> 00:18:46,644
No, because that would be
social security fraud
384
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,346
now that you've got a
job, wouldn't it, Bazzer?
385
00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:49,456
Chop chop.
386
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,286
Yeah, you need to switch the
opening window units around,
387
00:18:56,322 --> 00:18:59,245
straighten up the hinges
on the door, and sort out the leak.
388
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,511
And how do I do that?
389
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,285
If I knew the answer
to that particular question,
390
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,205
I wouldn't be paying fitters
100 quid a day, would I, Barry?
391
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,891
Derek. And you pay me 50 quid a day.
392
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,125
At this juncture in your career,
yes, because you're an apprentice.
393
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,725
You do stellar job here and I'll
make you a fully-fledged fitter.
394
00:19:15,136 --> 00:19:16,880
Great, thank you.
395
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,813
- I still don't know what I'm doing.
- Use your initiative.
396
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:29,075
And when that fails, plug every
fucking joint with mastic.
397
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,537
That should hold long enough
to get Robbie in a toff school.
398
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,864
Meanwhile, something was seriously
wrong in the estates of Corringham.
399
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,844
I believe you asked for someone
to come around to talk you
400
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,647
through our range of windows and doors.
401
00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:44,288
Oh, sorry, I saw your
colleague yesterday.
402
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,563
Seeing as though we're back in the area,
403
00:19:46,599 --> 00:19:48,925
I might as well come in,
give you a free quotation.
404
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,017
Do you remember the name
of the rep who called around?
405
00:19:51,053 --> 00:19:52,601
Yeah, it was Joe.
406
00:19:52,637 --> 00:19:55,365
So, did Joe leave any
of our leaflets with you?
407
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,862
Signed the order yesterday.
408
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,960
OK, well, if you're sure,
I'll cancel the appointment.
409
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,171
OK, bye.
410
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,485
- Traitor.
- What did you call me?
411
00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:14,559
Oh, sorry, I thought you'd hung up!
412
00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:15,942
This is the least professional...
413
00:20:16,413 --> 00:20:17,565
What's going on?
414
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,605
That's the fifth cancellation today.
415
00:20:19,787 --> 00:20:22,565
I'll tell you what's going on,
some prick called Joe at W-windows
416
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,205
has been cold-calling every
fucking house on our patch
417
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,405
and stealing our leads.
418
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,188
Well it's definitely not Walshy,
419
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:31,405
he couldn't sell a 12-year-old's
knickers to a kiddie fiddler.
420
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,605
Well, I'm not having this,
421
00:20:32,641 --> 00:20:34,825
it's about time I introduced
myself to this Joe goon.
422
00:20:34,861 --> 00:20:37,965
I mean, if we haven't got honour
amongst salesmen, what have we got?
423
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:40,559
- Incredible levels of self-delusion?
- Yeah, fuck you, Martin.
424
00:20:46,905 --> 00:20:48,509
- Hello.
- Yep, just give me a minute.
425
00:20:48,545 --> 00:20:50,765
No need, I'm here for the
organ grinder, not the monkey.
426
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,150
- He just happens to look like an ape.
- Sorry, sir, he's not here.
427
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,260
Can I help?
428
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,724
Yeah, you can pass
a message on to your boss.
429
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,279
- Tony Walsh?
- Yeah.
430
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,282
And for the underhand shit-for-brains
pond life he's got working for him.
431
00:21:02,318 --> 00:21:04,910
If they want a war, they better
be prepared for it to go nuclear.
432
00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:07,743
If it does go nuclear,
bagsy sharing a bunker with you.
433
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,405
- Just pass on the message.
- Who should I say called by?
434
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,424
- He'll know.
- Well, he may well do.
435
00:21:13,528 --> 00:21:15,155
What do I call this
immaculately dressed,
436
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,285
handsome, young
firebrand stood before me?
437
00:21:17,613 --> 00:21:20,031
- Are you fucking with me?
- Joanne Scott.
438
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,436
Head of sales.
439
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,526
Thanks for asking, and, no,
not fucking with you.
440
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,005
- Not yet anyway.
- You're the fucking lead thief.
441
00:21:28,041 --> 00:21:29,584
The penny finally drops!
442
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,477
Well, if you're the finest
Cachet has to offer,
443
00:21:31,513 --> 00:21:33,281
it's no wonder I'm
cleaning up around town.
444
00:21:33,317 --> 00:21:35,934
Oh, I haven't even begun to get
warmed up yet, sweetheart.
445
00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:39,895
Oh, I know. I know, but
you're Mr Thermonuclear,
446
00:21:40,356 --> 00:21:42,085
the man with the red-hot missile,
447
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,685
ready to wipe me out.
448
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,805
Maybe, before we unleash mutually
assured destruction on one another,
449
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,286
we should go out with a bang.
450
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,885
Come on, Vincent, you understand
the first rule of warfare better
451
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:58,360
than anyone - "know your enemy".
452
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,624
What are you doing?!
453
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,568
I'm giving you the opportunity
to know every inch of your enemy.
454
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,400
Right now.
455
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,068
I don't think so.
456
00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:14,548
- Even if I wasn't happily married...
- Sure you are.
457
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,655
...to the most sensational
woman on the planet,
458
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,993
- it's not happening.
- Oh, it is.
459
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,074
You've got some front,
I'll give you that.
460
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,394
I mean, maybe not today or the next day
461
00:22:25,829 --> 00:22:28,027
but, trust me, it's happening.
462
00:22:31,542 --> 00:22:33,805
Now, is that an Intercontinental
ballistic missile you keep
463
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,965
in your pocket or are
you pleased to see me?
464
00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:43,745
Ah. I see you've met my new
head of sales, Vincent.
465
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,596
I had to shell out a fucking fortune
to get her on board,
466
00:22:46,936 --> 00:22:49,685
but it'll be worth every penny
to wipe that smarmy smile
467
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,228
from off your smug fucking chops.
468
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,916
Now, if you wouldn't mind fucking off,
469
00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:00,019
we've got a successful
window business to run.
470
00:23:00,492 --> 00:23:01,537
Toodle-pip.
471
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,605
At least with the dating agency
there's a paper trail in case
472
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:09,717
of going missing.
473
00:23:11,074 --> 00:23:14,609
Sorry, I don't want you to get the
impression that I only picked you
474
00:23:14,645 --> 00:23:16,623
because you're the
least likely to kill me.
475
00:23:17,168 --> 00:23:19,176
Well, I do, obviously, but...
476
00:23:19,588 --> 00:23:21,218
Can we just drop this subject?
477
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,845
I literally haven't said a word.
478
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,251
Sorry. I'm really nervous.
479
00:23:28,984 --> 00:23:30,732
I want you to know, I feel really shitty
480
00:23:30,768 --> 00:23:32,486
about showing everyone your tape, Brian.
481
00:23:32,525 --> 00:23:34,414
Oh, look, it's fine, OK?
482
00:23:34,450 --> 00:23:37,358
I understand, you thought
I was cheating on Maureen.
483
00:23:37,394 --> 00:23:39,708
Who? Oh, Thyroid.
484
00:23:44,862 --> 00:23:48,845
So... here we are.
485
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:49,871
Yeah.
486
00:23:54,515 --> 00:23:55,915
What is it that you do?
487
00:23:56,948 --> 00:23:58,728
- What do you mean?
- For a living?
488
00:23:59,757 --> 00:24:02,605
- What are you doing?
- Small talk.
489
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,124
But you know what I do.
490
00:24:04,554 --> 00:24:06,385
Well, it's really hard
being on a blind date
491
00:24:06,421 --> 00:24:08,097
with someone you know really well.
492
00:24:08,133 --> 00:24:09,525
You ask me something.
493
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,885
All right, um, have
you ever been in love?
494
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,100
Well, I'm not answering
personal questions.
495
00:24:15,590 --> 00:24:16,786
OK, uh...
496
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,376
- Do you want to go home?
- Yeah, please.
497
00:24:22,403 --> 00:24:24,699
Probably just chalk this one
up as a bad idea, shall we?
498
00:24:24,735 --> 00:24:25,726
Agreed.
499
00:24:27,981 --> 00:24:31,205
Do you think we should have
a compatibility shag at least?
500
00:24:31,592 --> 00:24:33,692
- What?
- Sex, Brian.
501
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:39,360
We might discover some as yet
undetected physical chemistry.
502
00:24:41,226 --> 00:24:44,791
Right, yeah, well, I mean, you know,
I guess it's always a good idea
503
00:24:44,827 --> 00:24:47,032
to rule these things out, or in.
504
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:49,260
You never know, we might...
505
00:24:50,783 --> 00:24:53,348
Oh, we won't.
506
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,285
But I haven't really got anything
else to say on the feedback form
507
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,762
for the video agency.
508
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,485
While I can hardly expect a medal
for not cheating on my wife,
509
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,676
I am allowed to enjoy
being good for once.
510
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,041
Hello, my gorgeous.
511
00:25:15,326 --> 00:25:18,329
- Honestly, what would you say this is?
- A prawn cocktail.
512
00:25:18,365 --> 00:25:21,725
Yes! Right, come and have a
look at my beef Wellington.
513
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:22,999
All right, but we'll have to be quick,
514
00:25:23,035 --> 00:25:24,336
the Browns will be here in half an hour.
515
00:25:24,979 --> 00:25:27,304
- That's actually pretty funny for you.
- I aim to please.
516
00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:29,442
Good, because I could
do with some pleasing.
517
00:25:29,478 --> 00:25:30,364
Yeah?
518
00:25:32,428 --> 00:25:34,737
This had better be good news! Hi, Pat.
519
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,080
Whoa! What? I'll be right over.
520
00:25:40,928 --> 00:25:42,454
In what world would anyone think
521
00:25:42,490 --> 00:25:44,646
that this is an acceptable
finish, Vincent?
522
00:25:44,908 --> 00:25:47,005
It looks like a wedding cake.
523
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,085
Hmm. Did you raise any
of this with Barry?
524
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:52,743
I would have, but Barry was sat
outside in the garden crying
525
00:25:52,779 --> 00:25:55,049
when I got back, so I sent him home.
526
00:25:55,201 --> 00:25:57,496
Yeah, sometimes the mastic can react
527
00:25:57,532 --> 00:25:59,124
with the polycarbonate
and raise up like this.
528
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,131
It usually rectifies
itself in a few hours.
529
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,782
Sorry, did you not hear
what I just said about Barry?
530
00:26:03,818 --> 00:26:07,105
And the bloody door doesn't open now!
531
00:26:11,431 --> 00:26:15,165
Ah. Yeah, you just need
to adjust the hinge.
532
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,822
You can fix that with
a screwdriver, Ralph.
533
00:26:16,858 --> 00:26:18,725
But that's not my responsibility!
534
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,009
Well, technically, it kind of is.
535
00:26:21,045 --> 00:26:23,297
If you didn't raise these
problems with our fitter,
536
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:26,140
then contractually you've
accepted the remedial works,
537
00:26:26,176 --> 00:26:28,942
but I'll tell you what,
in the spirit of neighbourly love,
538
00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:30,456
I'll get Barry to pop
over in the morning.
539
00:26:30,492 --> 00:26:34,856
No, no, no, no, no. Barry
is not coming back, OK?
540
00:26:34,892 --> 00:26:37,202
He's having a nervous breakdown.
541
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,756
And it still fucking leaks!
542
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,725
Why don't I give you and Patricia
a few minutes to cool down?
543
00:26:50,242 --> 00:26:52,125
What the fuck is happening, Vincent?
544
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,454
Bad news, baby. Pat's come
down with a terrible bug.
545
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,474
All the more beef Wellington for us.
546
00:27:17,748 --> 00:27:18,964
So, how was that?
547
00:27:20,552 --> 00:27:22,725
I mean... nothing.
548
00:27:22,979 --> 00:27:23,929
Nada.
549
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,529
It's just weird, cos I can usually
get satisfaction from anything,
550
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,242
even that teddy.
551
00:27:30,278 --> 00:27:33,031
But this just felt like... nothing.
552
00:27:33,698 --> 00:27:34,960
What did you think?
553
00:27:37,122 --> 00:27:40,386
Yeah, yeah. Same, probably.
554
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,797
Um, maybe we should give it another go,
555
00:27:44,500 --> 00:27:47,525
- treat that one as a warm-up.
- Oh, no, Brian.
556
00:27:47,779 --> 00:27:51,805
No, some experiments
should never have happened,
557
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,162
like Frankenstein,
558
00:27:56,369 --> 00:27:58,120
or Elton John's hair transplant.
559
00:28:08,328 --> 00:28:12,328
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
559
00:28:13,305 --> 00:28:19,919
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