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1
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,656
David, that tickles, darling.
2
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:43,925
- You know what drives me crazy?
- What?
3
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,760
Time we're wasting.
4
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:49,259
Robin, marry me. Will you?
5
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:53,062
David, we've been all through that.
I won't be lobbied into marriage
6
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:55,835
- by over-stimulated glands.
- Rob, this is different.
7
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,072
But, David, I want to marry you out of love,
8
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:01,477
deep, real and absolute.
9
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:06,842
I don't want to be carried away by my own
fermenting juices, like some girls I know.
10
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,445
When the temperatures cooled down,
what were they left with?
11
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,650
Corroded hopes, unfulfilled dreams,
and a house full of children.
12
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,489
- Well, no, thanks. Not for me.
- Rob.
13
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,359
That's why the plan we've worked out
is so perfect, David.
14
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,422
To live together without sleeping together.
15
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:23,367
Why, it's an absolutely brilliant way
to find out if we're compatible.
16
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:26,098
It's crazy. Honey, you're asking
for a silk-smooth marital future
17
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,333
without any problems whatsoever,
and there ain't no such animal.
18
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,899
- Well, for Pete's sake, we can try.
- You're wacky, you know that?
19
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,945
- You're...
- David, it makes very good sense.
20
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:36,072
We find out if we have real
character compatibility
21
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,777
to see if we fulfill each other's
non-physical needs.
22
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,547
- Now, David, you agreed.
- I don't agree.
23
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:45,487
Now, honey, I'm going along with this thing
because I happen to be in love with you,
24
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:49,119
but that doesn't alter the fact
that you are a genuine, gold-plated kook.
25
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,186
Who ever heard of normal,
supposedly sane people
26
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,528
- living together in such a nutty setup?
- David, I want...
27
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,330
All right, all right.
I said I'd go along with it.
28
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,927
Then it's all settled? Oh, David!
29
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:03,342
- All I have to do now is find an apartment.
- You know, you're really oblivious.
30
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,001
Nobody goes out around here
and finds an apartment.
31
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,807
I have married friends
who've been searching for months.
32
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,245
Don't worry about it.
I will find an apartment.
33
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:12,716
- You will find an apartment.
- Bye-bye. I have to run.
34
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,854
We're all dying to know how it works out.
Keep us informed, won't you?
35
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,515
Do you know that
I'm gonna have to figure out a way
36
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,559
to keep my parents from finding out?
37
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:23,528
They'd go screaming berserk
if they knew I was living with a man.
38
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,429
Your toothbrush hanging right by Dave's,
side by side.
39
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,232
It sounds so deliciously illicit.
I get goose bumps.
40
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,940
May I say, I don't think the divorce rate
is the entire picture
41
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,810
- of disharmony and discord.
- How do you mean?
42
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:44,975
Well, think of all the thousands of
marriages where there is not divorce.
43
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,611
People just go on living together
in mutual dislike.
44
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,315
I agree with Ardice.
And one reason this happens
45
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:53,382
is because kids get married
before they're emotionally mature.
46
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,690
They think it's love, but it's really
just intense physical attraction.
47
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,060
Exactly.
48
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,760
Kids go start necking,
they lose all power of rational thinking.
49
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,301
There has to be a courtship.
50
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,530
A boy and girl have got
to get to know each other.
51
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,698
In the front seat of a parked car?
52
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:12,268
God, when you're so busy necking,
who's got time for a character analysis?
53
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,905
- Try taking notes.
- I did.
54
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,581
All right.
55
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:22,115
Tomorrow, the first four chapters of
Neurotic Interaction in Marriage,
56
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:24,349
edited by Dr. Victor Eisenstein.
57
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,289
That's all for today.
58
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:33,991
Bye-bye, Irene.
59
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,797
Robin, there was a call for you yesterday
from San Francisco.
60
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,598
- Did you get it?
- Yes. It was only Mother.
61
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,969
She wants to know if you're coming up
for Easter vacation?
62
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,600
I meant to write. I'll take care of it.
63
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,611
Irene, can I ask you
an impertinent question?
64
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,607
- Why, as your teacher or your aunt?
- More as just a woman.
65
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,549
Before you married Uncle Frank, did you...
66
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,713
- Did I what?
- You know.
67
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,084
Well, I was hoping I was mistaken.
68
00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:00,990
I'm not passing moral judgment.
I'm just doing personal research.
69
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:05,497
- You know, Dave and I haven't.
- It's not necessary to announce that fact.
70
00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:08,395
Robin, sometimes you can be unnerving.
71
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:11,699
I just don't want to make the same mistake
you and Uncle Frank made.
72
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:14,239
I want my marriage to work.
No divorces for me.
73
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:17,606
Could we discuss it another time?
I really have to rush, darling.
74
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,171
Translate the passages of Homer
on page 10 tomorrow, all right?
75
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:22,737
Charles.
76
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:26,778
Hi. Listen, I've got two whole free periods
to help you move, Irene.
77
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,151
- Sure it's not inconveniencing you?
- I'm sure. Hello, Robin.
78
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,553
Hi. Move? Who's moving?
79
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:33,023
Dr. Howard has kindly consented
to help me move.
80
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,754
- From that divine apartment? Why?
- Irene, come on. We're going to be late.
81
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:38,888
I'll tell you all about
it tomorrow. Bye-bye.
82
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:43,893
Irene, has anyone got your apartment yet?
Irene!
83
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,872
Today's the day, huh, Miss Wilson?
You need any help?
84
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,071
No, my friend will help me.
85
00:06:56,649 --> 00:07:01,245
- I never realized how much I collected.
- I know, filled up with junk.
86
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:08,086
Look at this place. Terrible, terrible.
87
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,989
Hey, I had no idea. This is charming.
88
00:07:12,064 --> 00:07:15,261
- A lot of people find it quite pleasant.
- Well, why do you want to get out of it?
89
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,268
I don't know. Moving time, I guess.
90
00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:19,361
Those two are ready.
You can take those down if you want.
91
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,270
All right. Well, I suppose
it's pretty expensive, too, right?
92
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,673
- No, just $75 a month.
- $75 a month?
93
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,769
Well, that is unbelievable.
This has to be the greatest buy in town.
94
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:30,008
Yes, I guess it is pretty good.
95
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,107
Would you just
take the bags down, Charles?
96
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,210
And you want to move out. I don't get it.
97
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,180
I don't understand. $75 a month.
98
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:21,293
- Sorry to be late, darling.
- Where were you?
99
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,891
Now, don't you get me started,
Francis Murphy.
100
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,938
Fine time to bring a working man his lunch.
Do you realize what time it is?
101
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,439
I spent the whole morning
picking up after you.
102
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,873
- Big deal.
- Seems to me
103
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:33,275
you could hang the pajamas up
instead of flinging them all in the icebox.
104
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,144
- And that bathroom!
- Liverwurst and pickle sandwiches.
105
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:38,775
There's a nice combination
for a man with a peptic ulcer.
106
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,617
Shaving cream and old razor blades
every which way, and old...
107
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,349
Excuse me, please.
108
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,318
- Who's that?
- A friend of Miss Wilson's.
109
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:52,626
- Helping her move.
- That poor, dear sweet thing.
110
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,962
I want to go and say goodbye to her.
111
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,902
Hogan sure gets a nice turnover here.
Move one out, move another in.
112
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:00,529
Beats the heck out of marriage.
113
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:04,670
- Find a nice place to live?
- Yes, the faculty dorm. Very nice.
114
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:07,406
Well, bye. Sure going to miss you.
115
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,069
Hey, Dorkus. A beautiful morning, huh?
116
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,109
It's 2:30 in the afternoon,
for your information.
117
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,440
So it is. Well, it's all a question
of metabolism, you see.
118
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:42,037
Some of us are day people,
and some of us are night people.
119
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:46,551
The mind shudders at what you do
with your nights in this place.
120
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,553
Literally shudders.
121
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,292
Is that your breakfast?
122
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,133
I feel sorry for people
who don't drink, Dork,
123
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:09,572
because when they get up in the morning,
that's as good as they're gonna feel all day.
124
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:15,404
Hey, say, did Irene happen to say
what time she was... All right.
125
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,277
What time she was moving her things out?
126
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,148
- I want to see her before she goes.
- Well, you'd better hurry.
127
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,814
- She's over there loading up right now.
- Already?
128
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:28,850
Anybody home?
129
00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,597
Well, hi, there.
130
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,110
I was wondering
if you were going to say goodbye.
131
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,373
Say, now, you didn't think
I was going to let you walk out of here
132
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:50,938
without even a fare-thee-well, did you?
Is that what you think of me?
133
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,985
- Of course not.
- I was just waiting for the right moment.
134
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,485
You know,
it's kind of awkward saying goodbye.
135
00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:56,521
- Yes, I know.
- Here's the last of the jonquils.
136
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,752
- The window box is empty.
- Last of the jonquils.
137
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,793
Well, it's somehow fitting.
138
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,528
Don't pull that unhappy
bloodhound look on me, Hogan.
139
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,224
I'm really touched.
140
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:09,131
Hey, you're not really seriously taking
this thing with you, are you?
141
00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,897
I love this thing. He's dear and sweet.
142
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:12,995
Look at that face.
143
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:17,441
I'm gonna take him with me everywhere
to remind me of a beautiful relationship.
144
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,569
You're taking this kind of lightly,
aren't you?
145
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:20,805
Hogan, it's over.
146
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,713
So why don't you be a big boy
and just stop talking it to death?
147
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:27,014
Yeah, well, aren't you the least bit upset?
There's no remorse?
148
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:29,520
- No.
- No little festering acrimony?
149
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,954
- Just a teeny weenie bit?
- None.
150
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,858
You'd walk out of here
as if nothing ever happened?
151
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:37,588
Self-protection, darling.
152
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:39,824
Every woman has a little bit of it
hidden away in her hip pocket.
153
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,491
Now, wait a minute.
You mean you're not mad?
154
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:44,559
- For heaven's sake, I told you, I am not mad!
- Don't get sore.
155
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,401
I just didn't realize
how little I meant to you, that's all.
156
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,338
You meant a great deal to me.
157
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,569
I was pretty much of a wreck
when I moved in here.
158
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,579
My marriage was on the rocks
and the natural depression.
159
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,912
You filled my lonely hours
and made me feel like a woman.
160
00:11:57,983 --> 00:12:02,613
You put zest in my life and started
all the good juices flowing in me again.
161
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,447
Well, there must be
a better way of putting that.
162
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:08,891
You make me sound like
a Carter's Little Liver Pill.
163
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,656
- Sorry.
- Lf I meant so much to you,
164
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,890
how come you're walking out?
165
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,694
Because I don't envision my future
with the man in my life
166
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,758
shuttling back and forth
between apartments.
167
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,167
- You're mad?
- I am not mad!
168
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,398
Come on, out!
Every poison pocket of rancor out!
169
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,566
- Catharsis!
- I don't need catharsis.
170
00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:25,804
Hogan, it is over.
Absolutely and completely over.
171
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,403
So why don't you just shut up
and stop beating it into the ground?
172
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,278
- You're mad.
- Hi.
173
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:32,874
This is Dr. Howard,
head of the language department at school.
174
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,182
- Mr. Hogan, my landlord.
- Hi.
175
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,916
- And you're from...
- Just across the hall.
176
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,550
Yeah. Well, it's a very nice place
she's giving up.
177
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,184
Well, thank you.
I was just trying to convince her
178
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,560
- that she shouldn't give it up.
- Probably, it's time she had a change.
179
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,462
Charles, I think these things
are all ready to go.
180
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:51,401
All right. Listen, Irene, this trip
is going to fill up the car, I think.
181
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:53,870
- You don't mind making another?
- No, not at all. We got plenty of time.
182
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,533
- Have you got room for one more?
- Right here.
183
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,804
Don't bother to help, Hogan. It's all right.
184
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:02,712
- Let me get the door for you.
- Thank you very much, Mr. Hogan.
185
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,818
Well, goodbye.
186
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:17,260
- Just like that?
- Just like that.
187
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:21,093
Key to the apartment.
I guess that's everything.
188
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:22,661
Well...
189
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,596
Well, I had that made especially for you.
190
00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:29,573
It's just a little favor to ask,
but would you keep it, please?
191
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:33,601
Perhaps, now and then,
when you look at it, you'll think of me.
192
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,193
Mr. Hogan, sir.
193
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:26,459
This bearing's gone haywire
in refrigeration unit number three,
194
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,693
and Miss Struman's complaining
her disposal ain't working again.
195
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,361
- I thought you'd like to know.
- Well, that's one of those details, Murph.
196
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,961
You're gonna have to take these things
off my hands.
197
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:35,268
I got other problems on my mind, you know.
It's very taxing.
198
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,774
- Very taxing.
- Hi, Hogey Pogey.
199
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:39,208
- Hi, lover. How are you?
- Fine. How are you?
200
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,337
- Good. Where was I, Murph?
- "Other problems. "
201
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,438
- Would you take care of them for me?
- Yes, sir.
202
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:45,642
You just save your energies.
203
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,453
I got the flowers. They're just beautiful.
204
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,249
- Thank you.
- You're just so welcome.
205
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,983
- But it's embarrassing, Hogey.
- Why?
206
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:55,458
I mean, you keep sending me those flowers,
and I haven't paid the rent for just months.
207
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,859
Well, I'll be around
one of these days to collect it.
208
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:01,491
You can go easy on that oil,
or you'll slip off the porch.
209
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:08,536
Cover up, it's peeping Tom,
the friendly landlord.
210
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,440
Thank you, Hogey.
You're adorable. You really are.
211
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:15,344
I always say,
"Happy tenants make a happy landlord. "
212
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,507
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
213
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,953
- Hi, Hogan.
- Hi, Clyde. Wow!
214
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,281
Hey, buddy!
215
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,978
Apartment for rent?
Where do you find the landlord?
216
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:56,283
Well, you're looking at him, son,
but I never rent to men.
217
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,380
That's a rule of the house.
Besides, I was young once myself.
218
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,425
I know how wild you kids can get.
219
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:03,256
Now, wait a minute, sir. I'm not like that.
220
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,765
I'm on the track team.
I said, I'm on the track team.
221
00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:08,231
The worst kind.
222
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,701
Pole-vaulting, high hurdling around here.
This is a very respectable unit, my boy.
223
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,330
It's all elderly,
family-type folk around here.
224
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:17,170
Yeah, chess and checkers group,
maybe a bingo once a month.
225
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,073
- Besides, you couldn't afford the rent.
- Try me.
226
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,475
- $450 a month.
- I can't afford it.
227
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,537
I didn't think you could.
228
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,352
Up in Miss Wilson's.
229
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,992
- Can I help you with anything?
- No. Are you the new tenant?
230
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:40,258
- No, I'm the landlord.
- The landlord.
231
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,823
- Yeah. I live right across...
- Well, you have an adorable apartment here.
232
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:43,959
- Well, thank you.
- I raced right over
233
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,594
as soon as I heard it was vacated.
234
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,299
It just slays me every time I see it.
235
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,537
- You've been here before?
- Yes, my aunt had it. Irene Wilson.
236
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:55,138
Well, you're the niece
she was always talking about?
237
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:57,148
I can't understand
why she'd want to give it up.
238
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,649
It's absolutely dream...
239
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,681
Don't let that bother you. It sounds like
somebody's strangling, doesn't it?
240
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,656
- It's just the pipes clearing their throats.
- Yes.
241
00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:09,750
It doesn't bother me at all.
I think it's just sensational.
242
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:12,092
Does it have linen and pots and pans
and all?
243
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,291
- Oh, yeah, sure, everything.
- It's swell.
244
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:19,065
- And everything's just in the right place.
- That's exactly so true, isn't it?
245
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:23,270
You know, I'm a very bad businesswoman,
raving about it like this.
246
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,970
- Why?
- The price is probably sky-high.
247
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:28,908
- $75 a month.
- You're kidding?
248
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:32,346
- Too much?
- No, no, no. It's wonderful.
249
00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:35,881
I mean, well, $75 is a lot of money for me,
250
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:39,617
- but I certainly think it's worth it.
- Yeah.
251
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,392
And may I have it, please?
252
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,190
Well, don't you think, first, we should know
each other's name? I'm Hogan.
253
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:47,231
Well, how do you do, Mr. Hogan?
I'm Robin Austin.
254
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,233
Robin Austin.
But not "Mr. Hogan," just Hogan.
255
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,701
None of my tenants ever call me "mister. "
I live right across the hall.
256
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,704
- Do you? That's very nice.
- Yeah.
257
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:57,139
Do you want to see references
or something like that?
258
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,335
- You've already shown me your references.
- What?
259
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:02,705
No, that won't be necessary.
260
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,478
We'll get to those nasty little details,
like a lease and all, some later day?
261
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,486
- You mean, that's it?
- That's it.
262
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,686
There you are. There's the key,
and welcome to the Centaur.
263
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,716
What an adorable key.
And heart-shaped, too.
264
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,325
Oh, my...
265
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,694
I forgot to tell you something.
I'll be having a roommate.
266
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,129
- Now, wait a minute...
- Mr. Hogan,
267
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:31,040
please don't spoil everything.
We'll be very quiet.
268
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,839
My word of honor. Please.
269
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,913
Yes, I know, you see, but I can't.
270
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,541
I mean, I've never had
two people in one unit.
271
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:44,355
- What does your roommate look like?
- Well, taller than I am,
272
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:46,891
very attractive, and dark hair.
273
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:52,297
Well, it might not be too bad
with a blonde and a brunette...
274
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:56,357
I mean, two of you is just twice
as much as one of you, isn't it?
275
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,002
- Then it's okay?
- I can't wait.
276
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,469
Well, thank you very much, Mr. Hogan.
277
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,509
And I'm sure we're going to be
the best of friends.
278
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,941
Aren't we ever. I live right across the hall.
279
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:08,002
- Yes, you said that before.
- Yeah. Listen, where are you going?
280
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,809
Well, I'm going to dash home
and pack my things.
281
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,510
I want to move in right away.
Thanks again, Mr. Hogan, for every...
282
00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:14,176
Not "mister," just "Hogan. "
283
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,653
And don't you forget, if I can help
you and your roommate in any way,
284
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,349
- why, you just knock on that door.
- Bye-bye.
285
00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:20,789
Bye-bye. Sweet thing.
286
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,187
Mind your own business.
287
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:26,427
Bye-bye.
288
00:19:26,462 --> 00:19:27,124
Bye-bye.
289
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,068
It's so exciting.
290
00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:37,100
- Hi.
- Hello.
291
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,507
Hi, David.
292
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,770
- Something wrong?
- Nothing.
293
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:49,280
Boy, these really smell good.
294
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,788
The jonquils are in bloom again.
295
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,454
Mother Nature
constantly replenishing herself.
296
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:59,255
Say, speaking of replenishing,
wifey tells me we've got a new tenant.
297
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,798
- Yeah, how about that?
- Female.
298
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,424
- That's right.
- Two females.
299
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:03,968
That's right.
300
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,368
I like his style.
301
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:14,007
I hate to see you go, Miss Wilson.
Can I help you with anything?
302
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:17,048
- No, no, thank you, Murphy. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
303
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:26,484
Robin!
304
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,688
Hi, Irene. How are you? I didn't see you.
305
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,195
Well, for heaven's sakes,
what are you doing here?
306
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:35,722
I was going to call you and tell you
the big news. I got your apartment.
307
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,031
- What do you mean, "got" it?
- I took it. It's mine.
308
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:41,129
- You're moving out of the sorority house?
- Yes, isn't it wonderful?
309
00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:44,369
- Did you tell your mother?
- Irene, don't be a spoilsport.
310
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:47,173
You know Mother would never agree
to let me have my own apartment.
311
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,339
She can't get used to the idea I've grown up.
312
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:51,672
Look, Irene, I'm dying to move in.
313
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,446
So why don't you come over tomorrow
for coffee and we'll talk, okay?
314
00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:57,420
And remember, not a word to Mother.
And I'll see you tomorrow before class.
315
00:20:57,489 --> 00:20:58,751
Bye-bye.
316
00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:12,036
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
317
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:14,931
I hope.
318
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,247
What do you think?
319
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:26,307
- 75 bucks a month!
- Isn't it adorable?
320
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,852
Well, yeah, but it's worth more than that.
321
00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:31,787
- You sure your landlord didn't say $175?
- No, he said $75.
322
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,784
It's crazy.
323
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,822
Who cares? It's mine and it's beautiful.
324
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:39,921
Aren't you going to bring up
the folding bed?
325
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,126
The bed. Rob, I tell you,
I think I'll wait until after dark.
326
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:45,726
You know, appearances and everything.
327
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:47,704
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
328
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,468
75 bucks a month.
329
00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,335
Your landlord must have rocks in his head.
330
00:21:55,681 --> 00:22:00,050
Well, there it is. The oven's set at 300,
and your roast will be done by 8:00 sharp.
331
00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:01,949
Lovely, lovely.
332
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:05,717
I don't approve of this kind of goings-on,
but I'm being paid to do a job,
333
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,691
- so I'll keep my mouth shut.
- Good.
334
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:09,750
Except I know what you've got in your mind.
335
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:13,696
You're not fooling me for one minute
with this cozy little dinner for three.
336
00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:15,630
Gee whiz, there you go again.
337
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:19,660
Inviting those girls next door
for an evening of heavens-knows-what.
338
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:23,834
I'm just trying to be friendly.
It's my way of saying "Welcome. "
339
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,638
Sure. Some welcome.
340
00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:31,411
Dorkus, what are you doing?
341
00:22:31,483 --> 00:22:34,111
Dorkus, will you cut it out, please?
342
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:35,710
Now, come on.
343
00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:39,416
Dorkus, will you cut that...
Now, come on, stop that.
344
00:22:40,459 --> 00:22:42,859
Stop playing with my controls.
345
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:47,223
- Now, I'm warning you...
- This place ought to be raided.
346
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,529
- I'm ready, honey. Evening, Hogan.
- Wait till I get my hat and coat!
347
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,569
That wife of yours, boy!
348
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:55,037
Wow! You sure got yourself
a nice little workshop here, Hogan.
349
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,098
Makes me wish
I was a couple of years younger.
350
00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:58,770
Yeah, well, good judgment.
351
00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:01,176
Have yourself a drink
while you're waiting for your wife.
352
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:02,713
Thanks, buddy.
353
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:17,352
Boy, could I operate with a setup like this.
354
00:23:29,841 --> 00:23:34,175
You marvelous creature, you.
Lay back and tell me all about yourself.
355
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:38,813
No, no, from the very beginning,
when you were a darling little girl.
356
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:41,243
- And take it real slow.
- Murph!
357
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:46,246
- What are you doing?
- Nothing, honey.
358
00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:49,293
- Come on, we're going home.
- Yeah, I'm coming.
359
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,611
- Hello.
- Hello.
360
00:24:07,679 --> 00:24:11,137
I'm the housekeeper for Hogan.
I thought I'd just peek in and say welcome.
361
00:24:11,216 --> 00:24:12,945
- The name is Dorkus.
- How do you do?
362
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:14,986
- I'm Robin Austin.
- How do you do?
363
00:24:15,053 --> 00:24:17,044
If you ever need anything, just call on me.
364
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:19,056
Well, that's very nice of you. Thank you.
365
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,524
- Is your roommate around?
- No, just downstairs
366
00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:24,221
getting some things out of the car.
367
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:27,732
Well, I probably ought to keep
my mouth shut,
368
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:30,791
but you appear to be
such a sweet young thing.
369
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:34,738
- It's about your landlord.
- Hogan?
370
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,168
- What about him?
- Well, he's single.
371
00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:41,274
And he's very active in certain fields.
372
00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:46,409
They say this is the age of specialization,
and he's come up with a pretty good one.
373
00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:48,810
I'm afraid I don't follow.
374
00:24:48,887 --> 00:24:51,754
Well, I guess what I'm trying to tell you
is there have been lots of young ladies
375
00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:55,623
in this apartment before you,
and he's been very successful with them.
376
00:24:55,694 --> 00:24:56,786
- Him?
- Him!
377
00:24:56,862 --> 00:24:59,160
Well, there's no accounting
for some people's taste, is there?
378
00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:03,167
Well, the point is, he's under the distinct
impression that you're the next in line.
379
00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:06,261
- Did he say that?
- He didn't come right out and say it,
380
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,465
but I know he's thinking it.
381
00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:15,179
He is really a sneaking, crawling,
dirty man, that's what he is.
382
00:25:15,247 --> 00:25:18,080
Well, thanks for tipping me off, Dorkus,
but don't worry.
383
00:25:18,149 --> 00:25:20,947
- I can take care of myself.
- Don't forget I warned you.
384
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:22,849
Warn your roommate.
385
00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:27,520
Dorkus... Or is it Mrs. Dorkus, or...
386
00:25:27,726 --> 00:25:29,387
- Murphy.
- Murphy.
387
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:32,430
Mrs. Murphy, this is Dave Manning.
Dave Manning, Mrs. Murphy.
388
00:25:32,497 --> 00:25:35,466
- She works for Mr. Hogan.
- Hi.
389
00:25:36,101 --> 00:25:37,796
How do you...
390
00:25:38,837 --> 00:25:40,737
No, no, no, that's not for me. You see...
391
00:25:40,805 --> 00:25:43,433
Honey, she's bound to find out
sooner or later.
392
00:25:43,508 --> 00:25:45,533
Yeah. Well, then,
it's not what it appears to be.
393
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:48,875
- I'd like to explain our arrangement, Mrs...
- Hush. Please.
394
00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,244
Don't say another word.
395
00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:53,079
There's no need to explain.
It's beautiful, just beautiful.
396
00:25:53,151 --> 00:25:55,176
My blessings on you both.
397
00:25:55,253 --> 00:26:00,190
- It's not like that...
- What divine justice this is for somebody!
398
00:26:01,626 --> 00:26:03,992
- Bless you, bless you both. Bye.
- Bye.
399
00:26:13,038 --> 00:26:15,700
Are you in for a surprise tonight.
400
00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:19,236
What's so amusing?
401
00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:23,145
- I'll tell you when we get home.
- I can't wait for some of that home cooking.
402
00:26:34,025 --> 00:26:36,619
You inventive little devil, you.
403
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:42,456
Bye, honey. I'll be back in a second.
404
00:26:47,238 --> 00:26:49,763
Once more into the breach, my boy
405
00:27:47,766 --> 00:27:49,256
Hey, there!
406
00:27:57,208 --> 00:28:00,905
Don't be startled. It's just me, Hogan.
Got a little gift.
407
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,013
I hope you like them. I grow them myself.
It's just a way of saying, "Welcome,"
408
00:28:05,083 --> 00:28:08,450
and I do hope that we'll be
the very best of friends.
409
00:28:11,089 --> 00:28:13,956
- Well, hi, there.
- Who the hell are you?
410
00:28:14,225 --> 00:28:17,558
- Hogan. I live across the hall.
- Yeah. Keep talking.
411
00:28:17,662 --> 00:28:20,187
Well, give me just a couple of seconds
to collect my wits, will you?
412
00:28:20,265 --> 00:28:22,233
- Believe me, it isn't easy.
- What isn't easy?
413
00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:25,895
You know, it's a bit of a shock to see you
come through the door there
414
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:27,631
with a towel wrapped around you
like that and all...
415
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,697
- Well, now, wait a minute, buddy...
- I expected to see someone
416
00:28:29,774 --> 00:28:33,710
a little daintier than you,
without hair all over their chest.
417
00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:36,212
Well, now, look here... Who's shocked?
418
00:28:36,314 --> 00:28:38,646
You know, I'm in there shaving,
minding my own business,
419
00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,274
and suddenly a man brings me flowers.
420
00:28:40,351 --> 00:28:42,615
Yeah, well, I can see the confusion
works both ways, doesn't it?
421
00:28:42,687 --> 00:28:44,712
Well, it certainly does.
422
00:28:44,789 --> 00:28:46,723
- How did you get in here?
- Your door was open.
423
00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:50,887
No, no, no, the door was not open.
The door was closed.
424
00:28:50,962 --> 00:28:54,159
- How'd you get in? What do you want?
- Hogan. I live just across the way,
425
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:58,862
- and I dropped in to say welcome, and...
- Well, just drop back across the way, okay?
426
00:28:58,937 --> 00:29:00,700
And next time, knock!
427
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:07,544
- Hi, Hogan.
- There you are, my dear.
428
00:29:07,612 --> 00:29:09,773
Hi, I just dashed out to get some groceries.
429
00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:12,078
Here. I thought these might help brighten up
your new apartment.
430
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,311
- I grow them myself here.
- Well, aren't you the dearest,
431
00:29:14,385 --> 00:29:17,320
sweetest person in the world.
Thank you. That's very kind of you.
432
00:29:17,388 --> 00:29:19,481
- Can I give you a hand with those?
- No, they're not heavy.
433
00:29:19,557 --> 00:29:21,457
Hey, look, this is... It's kind of awkward.
434
00:29:21,526 --> 00:29:23,153
I guess I'd better just
come right out and say it.
435
00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:25,458
There's a man in your apartment, there.
436
00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:29,057
Had soap all over his face.
I think he was shaving when I went in there.
437
00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:31,258
His name is David. Yes.
438
00:29:31,336 --> 00:29:33,463
Well, it's perfectly all right.
I mean, it's your apartment.
439
00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:34,630
You do with it what you want.
440
00:29:34,706 --> 00:29:37,971
I just thought that you should know
that I knew about the young man.
441
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:40,340
- His name is David.
- You said that.
442
00:29:40,411 --> 00:29:42,504
- He seems like a very nice young fellow.
- We...
443
00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:45,140
Probably madly in love with you, huh?
444
00:29:45,216 --> 00:29:48,879
- We plan to get married after he graduates.
- I wish you the very best.
445
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:50,818
Incidentally, I had my servant whip up
a little dinner.
446
00:29:50,889 --> 00:29:52,789
I thought maybe you and your girlfriend
would like to join me.
447
00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:54,848
- Girlfriend?
- Yeah, your roommate.
448
00:29:56,094 --> 00:29:58,358
Well, I appreciate it.
449
00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:01,660
Well, thanks a lot,
and that's very kind of you, but I'm bushed.
450
00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:02,927
Maybe some other evening.
451
00:30:03,001 --> 00:30:05,401
Thanks again for the flowers.
They're just beautiful.
452
00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,267
- Good night, Hogan.
- Good night.
453
00:30:09,340 --> 00:30:11,934
- Hello, I'm home.
- Hi, honey.
454
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,637
Hey, listen to this. While you were gone,
455
00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:17,169
some nut from across the hall comes in,
and he's got...
456
00:30:18,716 --> 00:30:20,843
That's one of the things
we're going to have to watch.
457
00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:22,011
All right, I'll get a robe.
458
00:30:22,086 --> 00:30:25,852
I don't think either of us should walk
around in panties, slips or towels.
459
00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:29,087
Things are going to be tough enough
as it is, okay?
460
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,958
Yeah, okay.
Well, anyway, what I was going to tell you,
461
00:30:32,030 --> 00:30:34,430
this nut from across the way comes in,
and he's got these...
462
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,933
That's Hogan. He's our landlord.
463
00:30:37,936 --> 00:30:39,164
Our landlord?
464
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:42,502
He's a very dear sweet fellow,
absolutely harmless.
465
00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:46,737
- Well, what's he hanging around here for?
- I have no idea.
466
00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:46,728
- Rob.
- Yeah?
467
00:31:46,804 --> 00:31:48,499
I've been giving us some more thought,
you know,
468
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:51,872
and I'm not sure how I feel
about this whole setup.
469
00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:54,668
Well, that's absolutely charming.
470
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:58,512
Our first night, we've hardly finished
unpacking, and already you have doubts.
471
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:01,211
Yeah, well, now that I've moved in,
I can see what I've let myself in for.
472
00:32:01,286 --> 00:32:03,015
Honey, this is an abnormal relationship
between us.
473
00:32:03,087 --> 00:32:04,486
- It's not abnormal!
- Yes, it is.
474
00:32:04,555 --> 00:32:06,546
- Why, how can you talk like that?
- Well...
475
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:15,464
The whole idea was to live together
without sleeping together.
476
00:32:15,533 --> 00:32:17,057
I know. I know.
477
00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:21,537
Well, to get to know each other,
478
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:25,235
to find out if we have real,
honest-to-goodness character compatibility,
479
00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:27,801
to reveal ourselves,
to exchange confidences.
480
00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:28,937
Yeah.
481
00:32:34,552 --> 00:32:37,214
Robin, you're using a lot of big words
that don't make a lot of sense.
482
00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:38,312
Well, if that doesn't make sense...
483
00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:40,516
I mean, "character compatibility"
and all that junk.
484
00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:41,922
I know it sounds good, honey,
485
00:32:41,993 --> 00:32:45,485
but ever since I came back to do
post-graduate work...
486
00:32:45,563 --> 00:32:48,862
We're going steady
and living together, David.
487
00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:54,999
In the history of man and woman,
nobody has embarked...
488
00:32:55,907 --> 00:32:58,899
- David, don't make...
- I'm hardly old-fashioned!
489
00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:03,275
This isn't living together, either.
Maybe by your definition, but not by mine.
490
00:33:03,614 --> 00:33:06,583
- David...
- A man and woman decide to live together,
491
00:33:06,651 --> 00:33:08,585
for crying out loud, let them live together!
492
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:12,111
Not lying around eating breakfast and
playing musical chairs for the bathroom,
493
00:33:12,190 --> 00:33:14,522
sleeping on cots and things like this...
494
00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,435
All right, get away.
495
00:33:36,314 --> 00:33:37,713
Get out!
496
00:33:39,484 --> 00:33:42,078
You're in the... Go on, get out!
497
00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:49,819
Come on, get out of there, please.
498
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,911
- Now, that's what we agreed to, wasn't it?
- Yeah, yeah, that's what we agreed to.
499
00:34:12,984 --> 00:34:15,111
- We didn't make love before, Dave.
- No.
500
00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:20,553
Well, this will be just the same,
except that we'll be together more.
501
00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:23,424
No, it's not the same, Robin.
502
00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:24,927
Before, when I left you, I could go home
503
00:34:24,996 --> 00:34:26,964
and ease my tortured body
under a cold shower.
504
00:34:27,031 --> 00:34:28,089
So shower here.
505
00:34:28,166 --> 00:34:30,430
Oh, yeah, with you rustling around
in your sexy underthings.
506
00:34:30,501 --> 00:34:32,799
I'll spend every waking hour
under a running faucet.
507
00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:36,230
- I admit the plan has a few flaws.
- Flaws?
508
00:34:36,307 --> 00:34:38,298
Well, I'll go along with you there.
Honey, what about my libido?
509
00:34:38,376 --> 00:34:41,812
Well, what about me? I'm subject
to the same intoxications you are.
510
00:34:41,879 --> 00:34:43,176
- No, you're not. No, you're...
- What?
511
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:46,614
Well, you're not! Women have had centuries
to perfect their willpower.
512
00:34:46,684 --> 00:34:50,142
Well, if you're going to be flip about it,
maybe we should call the whole thing off.
513
00:34:50,221 --> 00:34:51,916
Now don't be touchy about it, Robin.
514
00:34:51,989 --> 00:34:54,924
You're always going to make it look like
I tried to force you into it.
515
00:34:54,992 --> 00:34:56,619
Will you just hold your voice down
for a minute?
516
00:34:56,727 --> 00:34:58,922
- All I said was...
- You made a bargain and you broke it.
517
00:34:58,996 --> 00:35:00,395
- I didn't break anything.
- Yes, you did.
518
00:35:00,465 --> 00:35:03,025
- I was standing here, calmly trying to...
- I should have known better.
519
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:04,363
That's what I should have known.
520
00:35:05,736 --> 00:35:07,135
You're turning into a little screamer, Robin.
521
00:35:07,205 --> 00:35:09,605
Well, look, why don't we just
call the whole thing off?
522
00:35:09,674 --> 00:35:10,800
- Why not?
- Well, I just might do that.
523
00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:12,342
- Well, go ahead.
- Okay,
524
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:15,004
if you want to be that way about it, okay.
525
00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:16,239
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
526
00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:19,575
Goodbye!
527
00:35:21,519 --> 00:35:22,679
Dave!
528
00:35:24,822 --> 00:35:26,449
Dave, I'm sorry!
529
00:35:32,163 --> 00:35:34,131
I forgot I wasn't dressed.
530
00:35:34,999 --> 00:35:36,296
Oh, dear.
531
00:35:37,468 --> 00:35:40,369
I'm sorry. I shouldn't argue like that.
532
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:45,539
- It was my fault, anyway.
- Come on back.
533
00:35:45,910 --> 00:35:47,901
Come on. Come on back.
534
00:35:48,412 --> 00:35:49,640
Oh, no...
535
00:35:57,121 --> 00:36:01,182
- I had no right to be angry.
- Well, I shouldn't have complained.
536
00:36:01,726 --> 00:36:04,194
I made a bargain,
and I'm going to stick to it.
537
00:36:04,262 --> 00:36:06,127
- You forgive me?
- Yes.
538
00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:17,565
We'll probably have to cut
that out completely.
539
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:22,044
Yeah. We don't want to go down in defeat
before we even begin.
540
00:36:24,382 --> 00:36:27,283
Listen, let's do something symbolic.
541
00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:31,086
- Like what?
- Get your toothbrush.
542
00:36:31,589 --> 00:36:34,615
- A toothbrush?
- I'll meet you in the bathroom.
543
00:36:35,626 --> 00:36:37,025
Toothbrush.
544
00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:56,308
Oh, my...
545
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:03,948
There.
546
00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:07,881
With this toothbrush, I do thee wed.
547
00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:10,484
Aren't they adorable? Side by side.
548
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,856
A position forbidden to us.
549
00:37:14,932 --> 00:37:18,993
Well, I think it's about time
we should get to bed. To sleep.
550
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:22,233
- Separately.
- In two different beds, yeah.
551
00:37:22,306 --> 00:37:23,398
Yeah.
552
00:37:24,508 --> 00:37:26,976
- When do you like to take a shower?
- Nights, usually.
553
00:37:27,044 --> 00:37:28,671
Me, too. But I'll take mornings.
554
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:30,839
- No, no, it makes no difference to me.
- Well, we could trade off.
555
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,109
I don't think that's such a good idea.
556
00:37:32,183 --> 00:37:35,243
All we'd have to do is get the schedule
mixed up once and that's it.
557
00:37:35,319 --> 00:37:37,549
True. And that'd be the end
of our good intentions.
558
00:37:37,622 --> 00:37:40,682
- Yeah.
- Well, I think I'll take my shower now.
559
00:37:53,871 --> 00:37:56,305
Cover up, I'm coming through.
560
00:38:47,224 --> 00:38:49,749
Hi, there. Did I scare you?
561
00:38:50,928 --> 00:38:52,691
- How do you keep getting in here?
- The door was open again.
562
00:38:52,763 --> 00:38:54,663
You gotta watch that. Yeah, Hogan.
Just across the way.
563
00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:56,757
Yeah, I know you live across the way.
What are you doing in here?
564
00:38:56,834 --> 00:38:58,631
- I happen to own the building.
- Okay, you own the building.
565
00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:01,194
- As the landlord, I have certain rights.
- Of reasonable entry.
566
00:39:01,272 --> 00:39:04,173
Do you know it's 10:00 at night?
That's not reasonable entry, pal.
567
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:06,766
Listen, can I speak to you as a friend?
568
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,709
- No, no, you may not.
- I want you to understand.
569
00:39:08,779 --> 00:39:11,270
You don't have to be nice to me
just because I happen to be the landlord
570
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:14,318
and have the right to evict you
in a moment's notice.
571
00:39:14,385 --> 00:39:16,012
- Excuse me, I have to...
- What?
572
00:39:16,087 --> 00:39:17,418
You know, I've been mulling this situation.
573
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:19,581
Now, as I get it,
you are to occupy these premises
574
00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:23,093
on a sort of connubial, non-conjugal basis,
is that it?
575
00:39:23,394 --> 00:39:26,056
What'd she do,
throw it open for panel discussion?
576
00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:27,927
Don't be silly. I eavesdrop.
577
00:39:27,998 --> 00:39:29,863
It seems to me what we have before us...
578
00:39:29,934 --> 00:39:32,869
Now, wait just a minute.
"What we have before us"?
579
00:39:32,937 --> 00:39:36,065
You gotta keep an eye on me, boy.
Now and then, I just get a little pushy.
580
00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:37,573
- Yeah, well...
- Let me say
581
00:39:37,641 --> 00:39:39,734
that what you have before you
582
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,540
is a very highly-efficient piece
of feminine rationalization.
583
00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,240
Miss Robin Austin.
Now let's just take her.
584
00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:48,149
Young, very good manners, devoted
to her parents and all of their influences,
585
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:50,278
and kind to old ladies and animals
and all of that.
586
00:39:50,354 --> 00:39:53,187
But she is blossoming into
a full, robust womanhood.
587
00:39:53,257 --> 00:39:56,988
Well, I hate to mention this,
but those flowers aren't real.
588
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:58,217
Well, that doesn't matter
589
00:39:58,295 --> 00:40:00,388
because there wasn't any water
in the can, anyway.
590
00:40:00,464 --> 00:40:01,863
See what I mean?
591
00:40:02,199 --> 00:40:05,498
Here she is, blossoming,
but she was taught in her formative years
592
00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:08,402
that very properly, a young girl forgoes
593
00:40:09,073 --> 00:40:12,372
any of the unmentionable
physical endeavors.
594
00:40:12,443 --> 00:40:13,774
You know what I mean?
595
00:40:13,844 --> 00:40:16,176
Yeah. And you're leaving.
I'm sorry,
596
00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:17,942
I don't care if you are the landlord...
597
00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:20,074
- I have more experience.
... but good night!
598
00:40:20,785 --> 00:40:22,480
The kid's impetuous.
599
00:40:23,354 --> 00:40:26,289
All right, let's just look at it as if
you were having a talk with your minister.
600
00:40:26,357 --> 00:40:28,951
- Out!
- Boy, he's in trouble...
601
00:40:29,493 --> 00:40:32,724
- Honey, who are you talking to?
- Good evening, my dear.
602
00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:35,230
How pretty you look
in that adorable little outfit there.
603
00:40:35,299 --> 00:40:36,425
What?
604
00:40:37,601 --> 00:40:39,660
- Where is Dave?
- Dave who?
605
00:40:40,371 --> 00:40:42,805
I wonder who that could be at this hour.
606
00:40:42,873 --> 00:40:45,364
- Well, what are you doing out there?
- Well, I just...
607
00:40:45,476 --> 00:40:47,740
Honey, I want you to meet our landlord,
Mr. Hogan.
608
00:40:47,812 --> 00:40:49,939
- Yeah, we've met.
- David, stop that!
609
00:40:50,014 --> 00:40:52,448
David, please, take your hands off him!
610
00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:57,351
David, really. I'm terribly sorry.
He's very rude.
611
00:40:57,421 --> 00:40:59,150
Actually, I thought it might be a nice time
612
00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:01,555
for all of us to discuss
the new clauses in your lease.
613
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:04,526
- What new clauses?
- You naughty little thing, you.
614
00:41:04,595 --> 00:41:07,291
You led me to believe another girl
was moving in here with you.
615
00:41:07,364 --> 00:41:10,663
- I can explain that, really.
- No, it's not necessary, no apologies.
616
00:41:10,734 --> 00:41:13,430
It's just you do understand
I'll have to make a few minor adjustments
617
00:41:13,504 --> 00:41:17,497
in the lease due to the unorthodox nature
of this arrangement.
618
00:41:17,575 --> 00:41:19,338
- Well, it's all perfectly proper.
- Yeah, we...
619
00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:22,004
I know that, and you know it,
620
00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:24,309
but does Captain Fogarty
of the vice squad know it?
621
00:41:24,381 --> 00:41:27,373
- Vice squad?
- He's talking through his hat, honey.
622
00:41:27,451 --> 00:41:29,476
Well, fortunately, I found a solution.
It's very simple.
623
00:41:29,553 --> 00:41:32,522
I just put you down
on the lease under a fictitious name.
624
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:33,921
- What?
- Yeah, Vern Johnson
625
00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:35,891
and Alma Hammerschlod.
626
00:41:37,228 --> 00:41:40,755
Well, Hogan, I really think
I should explain all this to you.
627
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:43,163
You see... Well, let me tell you
about Dave Manning and myself.
628
00:41:43,234 --> 00:41:45,828
Now, wait a minute, honey.
It's none of his business.
629
00:41:45,903 --> 00:41:49,464
Why don't you just run back upstairs
and let us men conclude this discussion?
630
00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:52,509
Well, he is the landlord.
You wouldn't want me to be rude?
631
00:41:52,576 --> 00:41:55,841
Believe me, he wouldn't even notice.
Now, like a good girl, huh?
632
00:41:55,913 --> 00:41:57,972
Well, if you two gentlemen
can get along without me.
633
00:41:58,048 --> 00:42:01,040
- Yeah, fine.
- Well, thank you for the flowers, Hogan.
634
00:42:01,118 --> 00:42:03,211
Good night, you sweet thing.
635
00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:05,151
Good night.
636
00:42:05,389 --> 00:42:08,881
You sleep tight and undisturbed, I hope.
637
00:42:09,627 --> 00:42:13,324
Okay, Hogan, now let's clear the air, huh?
638
00:42:13,397 --> 00:42:15,888
Let's get everything
said. Lay it on the line.
639
00:42:15,966 --> 00:42:17,957
What is this little game?
640
00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:25,103
Heart murmur.
Doc likes me to check it now and then.
641
00:42:25,175 --> 00:42:26,608
- Let's talk, man to man.
- Yeah.
642
00:42:26,677 --> 00:42:29,111
Now, do you really, honestly,
intend to live here
643
00:42:29,179 --> 00:42:32,114
with that absolutely,
breathtakingly adorable creature
644
00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:34,776
and never even consider yum-yum?
645
00:42:36,487 --> 00:42:38,921
- What are you talking about?
- Fraternity man?
646
00:42:38,989 --> 00:42:40,923
- Yeah, yeah, Delta Chi.
- Delta...
647
00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:44,725
- Come on. Come on.
- Well, I don't...
648
00:42:44,828 --> 00:42:46,853
- I don't keep up in it, you know.
- Come on.
649
00:42:46,931 --> 00:42:49,195
A fellow Delta! Now, how about that!
650
00:42:49,266 --> 00:42:52,497
How wonderful to have a brother living
right next... Well, that changes everything.
651
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,471
- Now, I'm honor bound to tell you.
- Tell me what?
652
00:42:55,539 --> 00:42:58,531
- Well, this arrangement will never work.
- Why not?
653
00:42:58,609 --> 00:43:00,668
Friend, you... Brother.
654
00:43:01,145 --> 00:43:05,275
Well, deep down where you live,
in the secret recesses of your libido,
655
00:43:05,349 --> 00:43:07,442
- you know it's impossible.
- Well, I don't...
656
00:43:07,518 --> 00:43:11,420
With that gorgeous, undulating creature
20 feet away?
657
00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:15,191
Separated only by the gossamer-thin line
of your willpower?
658
00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:17,819
- Well, not in one million years.
- Well, I intend to try.
659
00:43:17,895 --> 00:43:20,989
- She trusts me, you know.
- There's only one possible solution.
660
00:43:21,065 --> 00:43:23,158
- What's that?
- Exercise.
661
00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,564
Exercise?
662
00:43:24,635 --> 00:43:25,761
Well, down through the ages,
663
00:43:25,869 --> 00:43:28,838
the only known substitute for sex
is physical exertion.
664
00:43:28,906 --> 00:43:31,238
Well, take athletes.
No trouble with their libidos.
665
00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:32,900
- Yeah.
- They just don't have any.
666
00:43:32,977 --> 00:43:35,138
It all goes onto the playing field.
667
00:43:35,212 --> 00:43:38,272
Why do you think that schools
stress sports so much?
668
00:43:38,349 --> 00:43:40,340
- Well, I guess it's...
- Keeps the rate of hanky-panky
669
00:43:40,417 --> 00:43:42,078
down to a minimum.
670
00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:44,111
I never thought too much about that.
671
00:43:44,188 --> 00:43:46,213
You got any barbells
or Indian clubs or weights
672
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:48,383
- or medicine balls, or any of that stuff?
- No, I don't go in...
673
00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:50,825
Well, that's your only hope.
674
00:43:50,894 --> 00:43:54,125
I suggest that you just wear yourself out
675
00:43:54,198 --> 00:43:57,429
with the pushups and the sit-ups
and the deep knee bends, too.
676
00:43:57,501 --> 00:44:02,268
Every time that your little thoughts
turn to yum-yum, you push up.
677
00:44:02,706 --> 00:44:04,571
- Push up! Yeah, that's the only solution.
- Yeah.
678
00:44:04,642 --> 00:44:07,076
- Dave, is he gone?
- Yeah, yeah, honey.
679
00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:08,702
Thanks a lot, Hogan. I
really appreciate this.
680
00:44:08,779 --> 00:44:10,041
- Well, what are you doing, boy?
- You're leaving.
681
00:44:10,114 --> 00:44:12,378
- Well, I'm not through yet.
- Yes, you are. Good night, Hogan.
682
00:44:33,437 --> 00:44:35,496
Honey, let me help you with that.
683
00:44:35,572 --> 00:44:36,869
- I meant to do it.
- I can do it.
684
00:44:36,940 --> 00:44:39,204
No, no, no, no. That's woman's work.
685
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,353
Well, I just thought this arrangement
would give us the least amount of contact
686
00:44:52,423 --> 00:44:54,857
- during the difficult hours.
- Yeah.
687
00:44:56,894 --> 00:44:59,954
It might be a little inconvenient, but I
think it's important to keep enticements
688
00:45:00,030 --> 00:45:02,555
- down to a minimum, don't you?
- Yeah.
689
00:45:04,501 --> 00:45:06,662
- I would...
- Excuse me.
690
00:45:06,737 --> 00:45:08,602
It's my fault.
I was over... "It's woman's work. "
691
00:45:08,672 --> 00:45:10,970
That's one of the things
we're going to have to watch.
692
00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:13,066
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
693
00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:19,042
- Rob, I tell you what I was thinking...
- David, good night.
694
00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:24,009
Rob.
695
00:45:26,757 --> 00:45:29,317
Come here. Come here.
696
00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:35,863
Good night.
697
00:46:33,357 --> 00:46:35,757
Get out! Get off of there!
698
00:46:45,736 --> 00:46:48,170
Dave, what's that noise?
What are you doing down there?
699
00:46:48,238 --> 00:46:50,570
Nothing, Rob. You wouldn't understand.
700
00:46:50,641 --> 00:46:51,630
Good night, Rob.
701
00:47:00,551 --> 00:47:02,018
Thirty seconds after blast off,
702
00:47:02,085 --> 00:47:05,714
the rocket had cleared its primary entryand was reported on course.
703
00:47:05,789 --> 00:47:08,223
Astronaut Mitchell sayshe's feeling exhilarated
704
00:47:08,292 --> 00:47:10,760
and the view is spectacular.In Rome today...
705
00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:14,787
- Take these, and get off my back.
- Have a good morning.
706
00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:21,066
- Good morning, Murphy.
- My, ain't we the early bird.
707
00:47:21,138 --> 00:47:24,107
- I'll get it for you, Miss Page.
- Thank you. Thank you so much.
708
00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:25,766
Looks like you run out of material.
709
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:27,670
Murph!
710
00:47:27,911 --> 00:47:30,937
We were just talking about
a leak in her sink.
711
00:47:39,590 --> 00:47:42,616
Mr. Hogan!
What were you doing in there, boy?
712
00:47:46,163 --> 00:47:47,596
- Here, take my handkerchief.
- Murphy.
713
00:47:47,664 --> 00:47:49,791
- What?
- Get rid of that cat.
714
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:52,165
I'll get rid of her, Mr. Hogan.
I don't know what you're talking about.
715
00:47:52,236 --> 00:47:55,933
Come on, let's get you dry.
Were you out there all night?
716
00:47:56,306 --> 00:47:58,774
I don't want to ask you now,
but when you got a minute,
717
00:47:58,842 --> 00:48:00,742
I'd sure love to hear about last night.
718
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:05,305
After a nice hot shower and a little rest,
you'll be our old Hogan again.
719
00:48:07,751 --> 00:48:10,276
- What happened to him?
- Found him in the bushes.
720
00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:13,790
- Must have been a heck of a party last night.
- Murph.
721
00:48:13,857 --> 00:48:15,825
Man, he's really living.
722
00:48:17,427 --> 00:48:18,724
- Well, okay.
- Honey.
723
00:48:18,795 --> 00:48:19,887
- What?
- Love you.
724
00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:21,260
Love you.
725
00:48:22,065 --> 00:48:24,329
Mr. Architect,
you forgot your drafting books.
726
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:25,698
- I gotta be cracking up.
- Okay, now, drive slowly.
727
00:48:25,769 --> 00:48:27,430
Yeah, okay.
You sure you want to cut classes today?
728
00:48:27,504 --> 00:48:29,438
Positive. I have a lot of things
I have to get settled.
729
00:48:29,506 --> 00:48:32,270
I want to stock the kitchen properly,
I have to go to the laundromat.
730
00:48:32,342 --> 00:48:36,244
And I want to cook you the most
scrumptious dinner tonight, wait and see.
731
00:48:36,313 --> 00:48:38,440
- Okay. So long.
- Bye-bye.
732
00:48:40,183 --> 00:48:41,741
One more time.
733
00:48:53,297 --> 00:48:54,889
Maybe I'll stay home
from class today, too.
734
00:48:54,965 --> 00:48:56,956
David, go to school.
735
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:09,776
Yes. Well, you know, we have to work out
the shower arrangements
736
00:49:09,846 --> 00:49:12,212
and all of that sort of thing.
737
00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:14,807
Hi, Irene.
I'll call you back later, August.
738
00:49:14,885 --> 00:49:16,614
Do you want some coffee
or something like that?
739
00:49:16,687 --> 00:49:18,917
Robin, I'm not going to waste time
with pleasantries.
740
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:22,049
I saw David Manning leave just now.
Now, what's going on?
741
00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:25,652
Now, wait, it's not like that at all.
I invited Dave to move in.
742
00:49:25,729 --> 00:49:30,223
Yes! On a perfectly proper basis.
He sleeps there, and I sleep way up there.
743
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:34,794
Way up there. My, my, that's all of 20 feet.
744
00:49:34,871 --> 00:49:39,535
We're living together platonically
to determine our character compatibility.
745
00:49:39,609 --> 00:49:42,976
- Character compatibility?
- Why, yes.
746
00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:46,315
Well, you're a grown girl now,
and you can carry investigation too far.
747
00:49:46,383 --> 00:49:49,181
- What have we done?
- But you know what...
748
00:49:53,223 --> 00:49:56,386
- You mean he really sleeps here?
- Cross my heart.
749
00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:59,694
And David goes along
with this arrangement?
750
00:49:59,763 --> 00:50:02,231
Why, he's absolutely aligned with me
751
00:50:02,299 --> 00:50:05,564
in this noble and beautiful experiment
of the mind.
752
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:11,971
Sometimes, I think my students
should be teaching me.
753
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,774
You know what I said,
it just might all work out.
754
00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:18,542
- Miss Wilson!
- Dorkus.
755
00:50:18,615 --> 00:50:20,105
- Good morning, Dorkus.
- Hi, Robin.
756
00:50:20,183 --> 00:50:22,708
- Well, don't worry about me, Irene. Okay?
- I'll try not to.
757
00:50:22,786 --> 00:50:25,311
- I'll see you later.
- You get settled in some place nice?
758
00:50:25,389 --> 00:50:27,516
What can I tell you?
It's a roof over my head.
759
00:50:27,591 --> 00:50:29,320
Is Hogan around?
760
00:50:29,393 --> 00:50:32,089
He went to the barber shop.
Have time for a cup of coffee?
761
00:50:32,162 --> 00:50:33,686
- Love it.
- Made some fresh. Good.
762
00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:35,892
Well, what I was worried about,
quite frankly,
763
00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:37,695
was Robin living next door to Hogan.
764
00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:39,736
Shows what kind
of a suspicious mind I have.
765
00:50:39,803 --> 00:50:44,103
- Why shouldn't you?
- Because I'm skeptical, mistrusting,
766
00:50:44,174 --> 00:50:48,838
jealous and all those horrible female things
I keep teaching my girls not to be.
767
00:50:48,912 --> 00:50:50,402
Why, just because I moved out,
768
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,347
should I think that Hogan
would want to take advantage of my niece?
769
00:50:53,417 --> 00:50:55,112
Why indeed.
770
00:50:55,185 --> 00:50:58,086
You know, I think I understand Hogan now.
771
00:50:58,155 --> 00:50:59,645
You know what he is?
772
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:02,590
A poor, lost, lonely little boy
773
00:51:02,659 --> 00:51:05,526
who looked for love
and understanding from me.
774
00:51:05,595 --> 00:51:09,895
You know, for a college professor,
you can be pretty stupid about some things.
775
00:51:09,966 --> 00:51:13,402
No, no, no, no, that's one thing I do know.
The psychology of the child.
776
00:51:13,470 --> 00:51:15,062
I majored in it.
777
00:51:15,138 --> 00:51:18,232
And Hogan is a child.
Just look at this place.
778
00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:21,438
You know what it is? It's a playpen.
779
00:51:23,313 --> 00:51:26,305
And that dear little gorilla doll he gave me.
780
00:51:26,383 --> 00:51:30,251
That's the gift of a poor, lost,
lonely little boy.
781
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:35,024
Before I throw up, and I may,
782
00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:37,560
let me show you what Hogan majored in.
783
00:51:37,627 --> 00:51:39,390
- Majored in?
- Right this way.
784
00:51:39,463 --> 00:51:43,490
Here's the poor, lost, lonely boy's
closet of playthings.
785
00:51:44,034 --> 00:51:46,332
Hogan's private zoo.
786
00:51:47,070 --> 00:51:48,662
There you are.
787
00:51:50,373 --> 00:51:53,570
For a 39-cent gorilla,
he made a monkey out of you.
788
00:51:53,643 --> 00:51:55,907
- "Beautiful relationship. "
- Now over here,
789
00:51:55,979 --> 00:51:58,209
we have his private key shop.
790
00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:01,941
Anybody for heart-shaped keys?
791
00:52:02,018 --> 00:52:05,078
My very own key. "Think of me. "
792
00:52:05,922 --> 00:52:10,382
Let us do a little history of this
apartment unit of poor lonely Hogan's.
793
00:52:10,460 --> 00:52:13,691
I came to work for him about 1959.
794
00:52:13,830 --> 00:52:16,321
That was the year
Ericka had your apartment.
795
00:52:16,399 --> 00:52:18,867
- She was a stripper in a beer joint.
- Ericka!
796
00:52:18,935 --> 00:52:22,928
Then there was Cheryl.
She was a very private secretary.
797
00:52:23,006 --> 00:52:25,873
- Cheryl?
- Then Elise. I never did know what she did.
798
00:52:25,942 --> 00:52:28,240
- Elise?
- Gretchen, she was a nurse.
799
00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:30,176
- Gretchen?
- Sybil Jane.
800
00:52:30,247 --> 00:52:31,544
Sybil Jane?
801
00:52:44,194 --> 00:52:47,163
Why, Irene, honey, what a pleasant surprise.
802
00:52:54,771 --> 00:52:57,296
- What was that all about?
- Ericka.
803
00:52:57,374 --> 00:53:00,207
Josie, Betty Jane, Monique,
and all those others.
804
00:53:00,277 --> 00:53:02,472
I could just brain you!
805
00:53:02,546 --> 00:53:05,640
Well, as I... Before you, dear,
806
00:53:05,715 --> 00:53:08,081
I mean, I was a bachelor
with my own apartment house.
807
00:53:08,151 --> 00:53:11,587
How utterly convenient.
Had a lot of fertile fields to plow?
808
00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:15,417
- Beats walking the streets.
- To think I believed you.
809
00:53:15,492 --> 00:53:17,790
"Your very own red key, think only of me. "
810
00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:20,788
Darn you! Darn you! Darn you! Darn you!
811
00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:23,230
- What are you so mad at?
- Nothing.
812
00:53:23,300 --> 00:53:26,167
- Nothing at all!
- I accepted the end of our affair
813
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:29,967
like a gentleman. I did not go
storming into your beauty parlor
814
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,735
creating a ridiculous scene like this.
815
00:53:31,808 --> 00:53:35,767
I'm getting sick and tired and fed up of you
girls just wandering in and out of my life
816
00:53:35,845 --> 00:53:38,006
and my apartment house
at your own discretion,
817
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:39,639
taking advantage of my good nature.
818
00:53:39,716 --> 00:53:42,241
How do you think it feels to know
that I'm nothing, more or less,
819
00:53:42,319 --> 00:53:44,685
but a tonic for what ails women?
820
00:53:44,754 --> 00:53:46,619
Do you know
the frustrating story of my life?
821
00:53:46,690 --> 00:53:47,918
Refreshing without filling!
822
00:53:47,991 --> 00:53:49,356
You'll forgive that expression,
won't you, my dear?
823
00:53:49,426 --> 00:53:52,122
- Will you keep your voice down?
- No, I won't keep my voice down!
824
00:53:52,195 --> 00:53:55,028
I want all my fellow men to know
how I've been utilized!
825
00:53:55,098 --> 00:53:57,589
- You've been...
- Yes, I've been utilized!
826
00:53:57,667 --> 00:53:59,794
She wants me to stand idly by
827
00:53:59,869 --> 00:54:02,565
while she brings a friend in,
not to break the continuity.
828
00:54:02,639 --> 00:54:03,867
- Well, no dice.
- You're a nut.
829
00:54:03,940 --> 00:54:05,407
- He is. He really is.
- Let me tell you something else.
830
00:54:05,475 --> 00:54:08,205
This child is absolutely wonderful.
Bright, young, eager,
831
00:54:08,278 --> 00:54:10,974
a body that will not quit.
Don't think this lady hasn't filled
832
00:54:11,047 --> 00:54:13,845
that sweet young thing in
on my physical qualifications.
833
00:54:16,052 --> 00:54:19,544
Merciful heavens,
will there never be a respite?
834
00:54:19,623 --> 00:54:21,557
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
835
00:54:28,732 --> 00:54:32,998
- Did he mind sleeping out here?
- No, he was very sweet about it.
836
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:37,270
- Hi, there.
- Hi.
837
00:54:37,374 --> 00:54:39,672
Girls, girls, girls.
838
00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:42,075
I want you to meet my landlord, Mr. Hogan.
839
00:54:42,145 --> 00:54:43,976
No "mister," just Hogan,
from across the hall.
840
00:54:44,047 --> 00:54:45,605
- Well, don't let me intrude now.
- How do you do?
841
00:54:45,682 --> 00:54:48,708
- Would you like a piece of coffee cake?
- No thank you, my dear.
842
00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:51,117
We're having a coffee klatch.
843
00:54:51,421 --> 00:54:52,683
You know, this is unbelievable.
844
00:54:52,756 --> 00:54:55,156
How can one girl have so many
attractive girlfriends?
845
00:54:55,225 --> 00:54:56,658
- Thank you.
- The last time I was alone
846
00:54:56,726 --> 00:54:59,354
with this many beautiful girls
was when I was a little sprite.
847
00:54:59,429 --> 00:55:01,624
There was a campfire girls' meeting
up the hill, you know,
848
00:55:01,698 --> 00:55:05,259
and I snuck in there and let all the air out
of the marshmallows.
849
00:55:07,904 --> 00:55:09,064
Murph!
850
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:12,498
Just doing a little pruning, honey.
851
00:55:12,909 --> 00:55:16,174
Nice meeting you, Hogan.
Thanks for all those funny stories.
852
00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:18,180
- Bye-bye, Robin.
- Goodbye.
853
00:55:18,248 --> 00:55:19,545
- Goodbye.
- Nice to have seen you.
854
00:55:19,616 --> 00:55:21,447
- Goodbye. Bye-bye.
- Goodbye, Hogan.
855
00:55:21,518 --> 00:55:24,612
Awfully nice to have seen you.
Come again soon. Bye-bye.
856
00:55:24,688 --> 00:55:26,747
What a charming bevy.
857
00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:28,814
- Goodbye, Hogan.
- I don't have to leave yet.
858
00:55:28,892 --> 00:55:31,486
Hogan, I do have things I have to do.
859
00:55:31,561 --> 00:55:34,496
Such as the laundromat,
Piggly Wiggly market, shoemaker.
860
00:55:34,564 --> 00:55:35,963
- I'm very...
- Well, good. I have nothing to do,
861
00:55:36,032 --> 00:55:37,897
- and I'll do it with you.
- Well, I don't want to impose.
862
00:55:37,967 --> 00:55:40,060
Well, it's not an imposition.
You'd be doing me a favor.
863
00:55:40,136 --> 00:55:41,603
I'd be alone all day, and I hate that.
864
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:44,196
And besides, I love to Piggle and Wiggle
and wash little things.
865
00:55:44,274 --> 00:55:45,901
Here, let me take that.
Not one more word from you.
866
00:55:45,975 --> 00:55:48,034
You just consider old Hogan
your slave for the day.
867
00:55:50,313 --> 00:55:53,908
You know, I feel kind of deliciously guilty
about skipping classes today.
868
00:55:54,017 --> 00:55:55,575
Good for the soul, you sweet thing.
869
00:55:55,652 --> 00:55:57,313
I used to be a college man myself,
you know.
870
00:55:57,387 --> 00:55:59,912
Pre-med, engineering, horticulture,
one or two others, there.
871
00:55:59,989 --> 00:56:02,423
- Kicked out of three universities.
- That's too bad.
872
00:56:02,492 --> 00:56:04,585
Well, not really.
I think it worked out for the best.
873
00:56:04,661 --> 00:56:09,621
I find I function better in the fiery crucible
of life, mixing with people, you know?
874
00:56:14,604 --> 00:56:17,971
Hogan, exactly what do you do?
875
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:20,009
About what? For a living, you mean?
876
00:56:20,076 --> 00:56:22,601
- Yes, I think that's what I mean.
- I own the apartment building.
877
00:56:23,780 --> 00:56:25,145
Well, it's not really my fault.
878
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,683
You see, my antecedents came to California
with the pioneers,
879
00:56:27,751 --> 00:56:30,845
and now I'm stuck with property
all over the place.
880
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,615
- Well, that's too bad.
- Yeah.
881
00:56:32,689 --> 00:56:35,283
It's all I can do to forgive my grandfather
for leaving me so well off.
882
00:56:35,358 --> 00:56:37,292
I've been sort of, I don't know,
883
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:41,820
deprived of the healthy natural struggle
for existence by being too rich.
884
00:56:41,965 --> 00:56:44,798
- Well, we all have our crosses to bear.
- Yeah, isn't that the truth.
885
00:56:44,868 --> 00:56:48,395
Here I am, forced to eke out my pleasures
in other areas.
886
00:56:48,838 --> 00:56:50,169
Like what?
887
00:57:07,690 --> 00:57:08,952
What are we doing here?
888
00:57:09,025 --> 00:57:11,425
Well, it seems like
such a natural spot for a picnic.
889
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:14,292
Hogan, I have a million things
I have to get done now.
890
00:57:14,364 --> 00:57:16,389
- I'm very busy.
- Rare bottle of Chablis.
891
00:57:16,466 --> 00:57:18,661
- And chilled, too.
- Take me to the supermarket.
892
00:57:18,735 --> 00:57:21,863
- The supermarket? Are you sure?
- I am positive.
893
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:27,771
Thanks for helping me, Hogan.
894
00:57:27,844 --> 00:57:29,971
- It's awfully nice of you.
- My pleasure.
895
00:57:30,046 --> 00:57:32,514
Just put it over there, okay?
896
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:36,782
- Right here. Can you manage?
- Yep.
897
00:57:36,853 --> 00:57:37,945
Okay.
898
00:57:46,830 --> 00:57:48,957
Hogan, I've practically
wasted your whole day.
899
00:57:49,032 --> 00:57:51,626
- Shouldn't you be doing something?
- No, nothing to do.
900
00:57:51,701 --> 00:57:55,000
Just hang around and help you.
Say, listen...
901
00:57:55,071 --> 00:57:58,438
- What?
...sweet thing, some night, Bill... Dave...
902
00:57:58,508 --> 00:58:02,069
- Dave.
- Lf he has to work, or if he's too tired,
903
00:58:02,178 --> 00:58:05,579
I want you to feel free to just pop across
that hall and knock on old Hogan's door,
904
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,639
and let me take you out to dinner.
Will you do that?
905
00:58:07,717 --> 00:58:10,982
Well, thank you very much,
but Dave has so much energy,
906
00:58:11,054 --> 00:58:14,820
- he practically never gets tired.
- Good.
907
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:19,583
It'll be such fun fixing dinner
for the man you love.
908
00:58:19,662 --> 00:58:22,028
And I want to thank you
for helping me select this wine.
909
00:58:22,098 --> 00:58:23,895
Dave just loves wine.
910
00:58:24,300 --> 00:58:27,633
It's going to be so beautiful
and romantic and...
911
00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:30,903
Dave is just going to love it.
912
00:58:31,541 --> 00:58:34,840
- Yeah. And with all that energy...
- What?
913
00:58:34,911 --> 00:58:37,038
- I just remembered something I forgot.
- What?
914
00:58:37,113 --> 00:58:38,910
I've gotta pop off,
and I'll see you later, huh?
915
00:58:38,982 --> 00:58:42,042
- Okay, goodbye. Thanks for everything.
- Pas de quoi, you sweet thing.
916
00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:45,351
My energy is just fine, thanks!
917
00:58:46,389 --> 00:58:49,415
- I'm only trying to help you.
- Yeah, yeah.
918
00:58:50,627 --> 00:58:52,959
- You remember last night?
- I remember last night.
919
00:58:53,029 --> 00:58:54,724
If you think last night was rough, buster,
920
00:58:54,797 --> 00:58:56,890
you wait and see what she's got in store
for you tonight.
921
00:58:56,966 --> 00:59:00,333
Even the pushups aren't going to help you.
You'll be a goner before dessert.
922
00:59:00,403 --> 00:59:02,963
I appreciate your concern, Hogan,
but what are you talking about?
923
00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:06,805
Well, don't you see, your big problem is
you got too much energy, right?
924
00:59:06,876 --> 00:59:10,778
Now I'm asking you, man to man,
give that sweet trusting child a fair break.
925
00:59:10,847 --> 00:59:13,145
Exhaust yourself before tonight.
926
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:14,945
You're starting that
substitute-for-sex routine again...
927
00:59:15,018 --> 00:59:16,383
It's true!
928
00:59:16,452 --> 00:59:19,649
You ask any middle-aged man. They don't
have any problem with carnal desire.
929
00:59:19,722 --> 00:59:21,849
They come home from the office
too pooped to care.
930
00:59:21,925 --> 00:59:24,553
- Yeah.
- We've got to exhaust you, my boy,
931
00:59:24,627 --> 00:59:27,721
and before tonight. Please, will you...
932
00:59:27,797 --> 00:59:29,628
Please, trust me.
933
00:59:29,699 --> 00:59:34,136
I'm doing this for your good.
Will you put your trust in me?
934
01:00:21,718 --> 01:00:23,879
Hi, honey, welcome home. What?
935
01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:25,853
- I got a muscle spasm.
- What?
936
01:00:25,922 --> 01:00:27,685
Under the shoulder, honey.
It's kinked up a little.
937
01:00:27,757 --> 01:00:32,285
You poor sweet lamb.
I'm awfully... Here, let me help you.
938
01:00:32,895 --> 01:00:35,591
Here. My poor baby. Come on.
939
01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:40,725
That was delivered for you
about 10 minutes ago. There's a note on it.
940
01:00:40,803 --> 01:00:45,069
- What's it for?
- Well, it's for exercise.
941
01:00:45,942 --> 01:00:49,503
They brought all this other stuff, too.
Did you buy it?
942
01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:51,940
- No, no. It's...
- Who's it from?
943
01:00:53,616 --> 01:00:56,881
- It's from a friend.
- Isn't that nice?
944
01:00:57,854 --> 01:01:01,017
Well, honey, I'm so glad
you're taking an interest in sports.
945
01:01:01,090 --> 01:01:03,024
Well, I mean,
it'll be a little problem storing it,
946
01:01:03,092 --> 01:01:06,061
but as long as you're healthy,
happy and all of that.
947
01:01:06,129 --> 01:01:11,226
Okay. Well, dinner will be ready in a minute.
I'm going to go watch everything, okay?
948
01:01:12,201 --> 01:01:13,429
Oh, boy.
949
01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:22,471
You know, I never had a brother, so I don't
know much about men's interest in sports.
950
01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:25,639
But I think a good wife
should take an interest. Don't you?
951
01:01:25,715 --> 01:01:27,512
Yeah, yeah.
952
01:01:28,284 --> 01:01:33,153
Honey, how would you like it if I took
golf lessons after we're married?
953
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:37,485
Yeah, yeah, it would be a good idea.
954
01:01:39,796 --> 01:01:43,027
What'd you say? I wonder who that is.
955
01:01:46,569 --> 01:01:47,627
Mr. Dave Manning?
956
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:50,366
- Dave, it's for you.
- Yeah, what is it?
957
01:01:51,641 --> 01:01:53,632
Oh, my goodness.
958
01:01:55,078 --> 01:01:57,239
- I've never seen anything like that.
- Excuse me.
959
01:01:57,313 --> 01:01:58,940
- Yes.
- Sign here, sir.
960
01:01:59,015 --> 01:02:01,006
Oh, my... They're real.
961
01:02:01,084 --> 01:02:04,349
- Nice evening, isn't it, missus?
- No, it's miss.
962
01:02:04,420 --> 01:02:06,411
- They're beautiful.
- Thank you.
963
01:02:06,522 --> 01:02:08,547
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
964
01:02:09,926 --> 01:02:11,018
Yeah.
965
01:02:12,228 --> 01:02:13,718
- There you go.
- Well, thank you, sir.
966
01:02:13,796 --> 01:02:16,321
- Well, good night, folks.
- Good night.
967
01:02:16,833 --> 01:02:19,063
Like the sign says, good luck.
968
01:02:20,103 --> 01:02:23,266
I wonder what's going on.
There's no note to it.
969
01:02:23,339 --> 01:02:25,398
- Who could have sent it?
- I think it's from Hogan.
970
01:02:25,475 --> 01:02:26,942
But what for?
971
01:02:27,043 --> 01:02:29,477
Midterms. I think I mentioned that to him.
972
01:02:29,545 --> 01:02:33,845
Well, isn't he the dearest thing?
To take all that time and expense
973
01:02:33,916 --> 01:02:36,407
- just to think of you.
- Yeah, yeah.
974
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:40,521
- He's a doll.
- I almost forgot.
975
01:02:49,132 --> 01:02:52,158
I'll get into the hang of it
before the week is out.
976
01:02:52,235 --> 01:02:56,535
A nice, ice-cold martini for when
my poor, hard-working man... Honey?
977
01:02:58,875 --> 01:03:00,502
Are you asleep?
978
01:03:11,954 --> 01:03:13,114
To me.
979
01:03:31,107 --> 01:03:34,304
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you at this time
of night. Could I borrow a cup of sugar?
980
01:03:34,377 --> 01:03:36,937
- Why, sure. Come on in.
- Thanks.
981
01:03:37,013 --> 01:03:39,948
Be careful with the door. Dave's asleep.
982
01:03:41,350 --> 01:03:44,410
I'll just tippy-toe like a little mouse.
983
01:03:44,854 --> 01:03:47,015
- Whatever happened to him?
- I don't know.
984
01:03:47,089 --> 01:03:51,719
Well, he came home exhausted, poor thing.
I didn't have the heart to wake him.
985
01:03:51,794 --> 01:03:54,160
Martini is my favorite soft drink.
986
01:03:55,698 --> 01:03:57,928
- Help yourself.
- Thank you.
987
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,127
I'll go get the sugar, okay?
988
01:04:16,619 --> 01:04:18,883
What are you cooking over there?
989
01:04:18,955 --> 01:04:21,116
Just a lonely little bachelor's dinner.
990
01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:23,715
- With a cup of sugar?
- Listen, I've got a thought.
991
01:04:23,793 --> 01:04:25,556
- Here's your sugar.
- Thanks.
992
01:04:25,628 --> 01:04:28,222
Your dinner's going to waste,
and I hate cooking for myself,
993
01:04:28,297 --> 01:04:30,629
so why don't you and I just sneak out
and grab a fast bite?
994
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,168
Well, thanks a lot, but I really couldn't.
995
01:04:33,236 --> 01:04:36,433
You can't rattle around here with pots
and pans. You're going to wake that boy up.
996
01:04:36,505 --> 01:04:38,666
- Well, that's true.
- This kid is exhausted. I'm worried.
997
01:04:38,741 --> 01:04:41,073
I mean, he needs his sleep if he wants
to get good marks, you know.
998
01:04:41,143 --> 01:04:42,872
- Well, I don't know...
- Listen, I know a wonderful little
999
01:04:42,945 --> 01:04:44,378
hole-in-the-wall. It's
right around the corner.
1000
01:04:44,447 --> 01:04:46,813
We can just grab a hamburger
and some beans.
1001
01:04:46,883 --> 01:04:50,284
Just an inexpensive little joint.
Okay with you, you sweet thing?
1002
01:04:57,526 --> 01:04:58,618
Bravo.
1003
01:04:58,694 --> 01:05:00,321
He found a '28 Romanee.
It's my favorite wine.
1004
01:05:02,965 --> 01:05:06,332
This is what you call
"inexpensive little joint"?
1005
01:05:06,402 --> 01:05:09,929
Well, it's an economic necessity. The bank
requested that I get rid of excess cash.
1006
01:05:10,006 --> 01:05:12,406
It's cluttering up their vaults. Where was I?
1007
01:05:14,043 --> 01:05:16,568
- You were saying something about diversity.
- Yeah.
1008
01:05:16,646 --> 01:05:18,477
I didn't understand a word of it.
1009
01:05:18,547 --> 01:05:21,345
Well, I'll see if I can
put it a different way.
1010
01:05:23,352 --> 01:05:25,946
Well, there must be 200 restaurants
in this town.
1011
01:05:26,022 --> 01:05:28,081
- Who's he with?
- My niece, Robin.
1012
01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:31,456
- Robin? What's he doing with her?
- I have no idea.
1013
01:05:31,961 --> 01:05:33,223
I hope.
1014
01:05:33,562 --> 01:05:36,998
Now, look, let's not start worrying
about her. She's a big girl.
1015
01:05:52,315 --> 01:05:53,839
Now, let's see.
1016
01:05:53,916 --> 01:05:56,714
One needs a yardstick to judge everything,
you see.
1017
01:05:56,786 --> 01:05:59,152
Even men, for instance.
Well, let's take men as a for-instance.
1018
01:05:59,221 --> 01:06:02,349
Again, diversity. Now, there's
a little rhyme that I've made up.
1019
01:06:03,426 --> 01:06:06,418
"Men are like cantaloupes,
may I tell you why?"
1020
01:06:06,495 --> 01:06:08,622
- Why?
- "To appreciate a good one,
1021
01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:10,097
"a thousand you should try!"
1022
01:06:11,067 --> 01:06:12,796
- You didn't make that up. No.
- No, I didn't.
1023
01:06:12,868 --> 01:06:15,029
Well, maybe I read it somewhere.
But how true it is.
1024
01:06:15,104 --> 01:06:17,698
Well, now, take you and Dave,
how much better off you are with him
1025
01:06:17,773 --> 01:06:19,035
than with someone like me, for instance.
1026
01:06:19,108 --> 01:06:23,135
I mean, what have I got to offer
a beautiful, young girl like you?
1027
01:06:23,579 --> 01:06:28,414
Except possibly unlimited funds
and vapid, empty delight.
1028
01:06:34,490 --> 01:06:36,424
You'll be happy to know,
now that we're better acquainted,
1029
01:06:36,492 --> 01:06:38,255
I can honestly state
we have no problem at all.
1030
01:06:38,327 --> 01:06:40,056
- Fortunately, you leave me cold.
- What?
1031
01:06:40,129 --> 01:06:42,927
Not that you aren't one of the most
ravishingly beautiful creatures
1032
01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:45,968
I've ever seen, but I don't know,
it's your mind.
1033
01:06:46,035 --> 01:06:47,900
- My what?
- I admire your mind so much,
1034
01:06:47,970 --> 01:06:50,370
I barely notice that you have a body.
1035
01:06:50,940 --> 01:06:52,999
- No offense.
- No, no.
1036
01:06:53,075 --> 01:06:55,805
We're going to get along marvelously.
1037
01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:59,474
Of course,
one really should take into account
1038
01:06:59,548 --> 01:07:01,846
how unimportant a liaison with me
would be,
1039
01:07:01,917 --> 01:07:03,714
should we feel one coming on.
1040
01:07:03,786 --> 01:07:07,688
A liaison of the mind.
You admire my mind so much, remember?
1041
01:07:07,790 --> 01:07:10,156
Unfortunately, Mother Nature,
in her infinite wisdom,
1042
01:07:10,226 --> 01:07:13,195
has endowed me with other cravings, too.
1043
01:07:13,262 --> 01:07:16,060
I'd better warn you that
when invidious forces take hold of me,
1044
01:07:16,132 --> 01:07:19,659
I'm not above craft and cunning
to achieve my objective.
1045
01:07:20,236 --> 01:07:23,603
- I'll keep my eyes open.
- Good girl. Be alert,
1046
01:07:25,007 --> 01:07:27,373
because sometimes these devices
are so well-concealed,
1047
01:07:27,443 --> 01:07:30,173
I don't even see them coming on myself.
1048
01:07:36,485 --> 01:07:39,420
- Thanks for a lovely evening, Hogan.
- You're welcome. It is fun, isn't it?
1049
01:07:39,488 --> 01:07:41,319
Come on over. We'll have
a little nightcap at my place.
1050
01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:43,517
I got a hit record I want to show you.
Hey, this way.
1051
01:07:43,592 --> 01:07:45,253
Good night, Hogan.
1052
01:07:46,162 --> 01:07:48,289
Now, look, look, now,
we've barely begun to fight.
1053
01:07:48,364 --> 01:07:50,958
The evening is very young, you know.
1054
01:07:52,701 --> 01:07:55,966
- Hi, there, old buddy-bud. Come on.
- Hi, honey, did we wake you?
1055
01:07:56,038 --> 01:07:58,302
Do you realize it's 2:30 in the morning?
1056
01:07:58,374 --> 01:08:01,673
Well, I didn't want to disturb you,
and Hogan very considerately asked me out.
1057
01:08:01,744 --> 01:08:04,645
Swell. Swell. So you just left me
on the couch over there,
1058
01:08:04,713 --> 01:08:06,806
passed out like cold mashed potatoes,
on the couch.
1059
01:08:06,882 --> 01:08:08,611
No hard feelings, pal.
1060
01:08:08,684 --> 01:08:11,278
Let's all step in and discuss it
over a friendly, stirring cup.
1061
01:08:11,353 --> 01:08:13,378
No, we're not stepping in.
You're stepping out.
1062
01:08:13,456 --> 01:08:15,924
- That's no way to treat a brother.
- Out, Hogan!
1063
01:08:15,991 --> 01:08:18,824
- You're angry, aren't you?
- No. Why should I be angry?
1064
01:08:18,894 --> 01:08:20,885
My girl, out with another man,
leaves me without even a note
1065
01:08:20,963 --> 01:08:22,828
to tell me where she's going to be.
Why should I be angry?
1066
01:08:22,898 --> 01:08:25,458
Who collapsed on the couch after I slaved
all day over that lovely dinner?
1067
01:08:25,534 --> 01:08:27,297
- I was pooped!
- What's the matter?
1068
01:08:27,369 --> 01:08:28,734
It's a kink.
1069
01:08:28,804 --> 01:08:30,999
If you had been through
what I have been through today,
1070
01:08:31,073 --> 01:08:33,064
- and no sleep last night...
- We're fighting again.
1071
01:08:33,142 --> 01:08:35,167
You're very good at definitions.
This is a fight.
1072
01:08:35,244 --> 01:08:38,873
All right, I'm sorry. It's my fault.
I shouldn't have gone out.
1073
01:08:44,787 --> 01:08:48,655
Rob, honey, it's more my fault
than it was yours.
1074
01:08:48,724 --> 01:08:50,589
- I'm exhausted and I got angry.
- No, no. I got angry.
1075
01:08:50,659 --> 01:08:52,058
- Because of that nut.
- No, I got angry.
1076
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:54,221
- No, it was my fault.
- No, really, I did.
1077
01:08:54,296 --> 01:08:57,390
Hey, let's not get into a fight
1078
01:08:57,466 --> 01:09:00,458
- over who started the fight.
- Okay.
1079
01:09:02,671 --> 01:09:05,367
- Anyway, we're both sorry.
- Yes.
1080
01:09:13,582 --> 01:09:16,312
Rob, we'd better knock that off.
1081
01:09:16,385 --> 01:09:19,149
I tell you, I'm tired
and my resistance to you is low.
1082
01:09:19,221 --> 01:09:22,850
Well, if you're so tired,
how could you even think of sex?
1083
01:09:22,925 --> 01:09:24,950
Well, I'm not that tired.
1084
01:09:25,594 --> 01:09:28,688
Dave, you get to bed.
And I want you to get a lot of rest.
1085
01:09:28,764 --> 01:09:30,129
- Yeah, Rob...
- And sleep well,
1086
01:09:30,199 --> 01:09:32,258
'cause you have to go to school
bright and early tomorrow morning,
1087
01:09:32,334 --> 01:09:34,996
and I've kept you up so late already.
1088
01:09:36,639 --> 01:09:38,869
Good night, you gorgeous thing.
1089
01:10:03,365 --> 01:10:06,357
- What's that?
- Nothing, honey.
1090
01:10:06,435 --> 01:10:09,233
Just stubbed my toe. Go to sleep now.
1091
01:10:09,305 --> 01:10:11,603
- Good night.
- Okay.
1092
01:10:54,483 --> 01:10:58,078
Sorry, it's just the water pipes.
Good night. Sleep tight.
1093
01:11:02,524 --> 01:11:04,583
I'll give it the big try.
1094
01:11:38,027 --> 01:11:39,460
Don't strike a match.
I thought I smelled gas.
1095
01:11:39,528 --> 01:11:41,189
- Gas.
- I scurried over as fast as I could
1096
01:11:41,263 --> 01:11:43,356
- to warn you.
- Okay, thanks, Hogan.
1097
01:11:43,432 --> 01:11:46,162
- When did you first smell the gas?
- I was out watering my flowers.
1098
01:11:46,235 --> 01:11:48,203
There's nothing more frightening
than the smell of gas.
1099
01:11:48,270 --> 01:11:50,397
She probably left this oven on.
1100
01:11:59,882 --> 01:12:02,112
Thought I smelled electricity?
1101
01:12:03,118 --> 01:12:06,645
Can't be too careful.
Hey, now that you're wide awake,
1102
01:12:07,256 --> 01:12:10,555
it's as good a time as any to get into this
situation between you and Robin in-depth.
1103
01:12:10,626 --> 01:12:12,423
- Now, listen. Look...
- You got a match?
1104
01:12:12,494 --> 01:12:15,361
Early in the morning,
I have examinations and...
1105
01:12:15,431 --> 01:12:18,491
- How the hell do you keep getting in here?
- Well, your door was open.
1106
01:12:18,567 --> 01:12:21,195
- It was not open!
- You've got a nerve.
1107
01:12:21,270 --> 01:12:23,329
- What?
- I'm spending all my free time
1108
01:12:23,405 --> 01:12:25,032
trying to help you win
the girl of your choice.
1109
01:12:25,107 --> 01:12:28,804
- You're standing on a legal technicality.
- Give me the key.
1110
01:12:28,977 --> 01:12:32,208
You're touchy. Come on. Come on.
1111
01:12:32,815 --> 01:12:34,942
- Hogan, I am going to bed.
- No, no, no, you're not.
1112
01:12:35,050 --> 01:12:38,451
Now, look, you want to marry that girl?
I am going to show you how.
1113
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:39,851
Where do you keep
your matches around here?
1114
01:12:39,922 --> 01:12:42,948
There we are.
Now let's get down to business.
1115
01:12:43,025 --> 01:12:46,017
First of all, take the
subject herself, Robin.
1116
01:12:46,095 --> 01:12:48,757
I don't want you to take offense, son,
1117
01:12:49,164 --> 01:12:50,688
but that girl has got her clock
worked in backwards.
1118
01:12:50,766 --> 01:12:52,199
So yours are perfectly all right.
1119
01:12:52,267 --> 01:12:53,825
Which, confirming my earlier opinions,
1120
01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:57,998
means that what she actually seeks is a man
who doesn't pamper her every desire,
1121
01:12:58,073 --> 01:13:00,132
- do you follow?
- Now, Hogan, at 9:00 am in the morning,
1122
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:02,473
I have examinations.
Now, I gotta get some sleep, okay?
1123
01:13:02,544 --> 01:13:05,274
Yeah, you're darn right. Now, the problem is
how to set the stage, so that...
1124
01:13:05,347 --> 01:13:07,975
Now, pay attention to me, boy.
I've had a lot of experience in this field.
1125
01:13:08,050 --> 01:13:10,450
- I'll be an inestimable help.
- How lucky can I get?
1126
01:13:10,519 --> 01:13:14,080
Since this dear sweet child cannot face up
to her unconscious desires,
1127
01:13:14,156 --> 01:13:17,284
it's up to you to make it easy for her
to face up to the unfaceable.
1128
01:13:17,593 --> 01:13:20,027
- What was that again?
- And in such a way
1129
01:13:20,095 --> 01:13:24,555
as to make it seem to her that she herself,
and not you, has dispelled her resistance.
1130
01:13:24,633 --> 01:13:26,123
- Now, you follow that?
- Of course, of course.
1131
01:13:26,201 --> 01:13:28,897
It'd never do
to simply go upstairs and attack.
1132
01:13:28,971 --> 01:13:30,802
That, she'd be bound to look upon that
with disfavor.
1133
01:13:30,873 --> 01:13:34,274
Then how about sneaking up behind her
with a handkerchief soaked in chloroform?
1134
01:13:34,343 --> 01:13:38,746
- What are you talking about?
- Or a firm grip on a soft throat.
1135
01:13:48,490 --> 01:13:50,583
Brother, I don't think
you're taking this thing seriously.
1136
01:13:50,659 --> 01:13:53,093
Now, you have got to listen to me, boy.
It's imperative.
1137
01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:54,789
- Give me the key.
- What I have planned for you
1138
01:13:54,863 --> 01:13:59,095
is a program of feigned indifference. A
policy of reverse English, shall we call it?
1139
01:13:59,168 --> 01:14:01,261
And hardly a woman alive can resist it.
1140
01:14:01,336 --> 01:14:02,997
Yeah, how many more of these things
do you have?
1141
01:14:03,071 --> 01:14:05,198
The supply is inexhaustible.
1142
01:14:05,707 --> 01:14:09,108
Now, the thing is, you are going to have to
adhere to this with strict discipline, boy.
1143
01:14:09,178 --> 01:14:13,046
There is to be no compliments and no
whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
1144
01:14:13,115 --> 01:14:16,141
And no flowers and no candy.
And most important of all,
1145
01:14:16,218 --> 01:14:19,551
you must abstain from all those
little niceties that women adore.
1146
01:14:19,621 --> 01:14:21,885
- Do you follow me? Am I going too fast?
- It sounds irresistible.
1147
01:14:21,957 --> 01:14:25,586
A short period of treatment like that
and she is primed for the kill,
1148
01:14:25,661 --> 01:14:27,993
if you get the picture.
Do you get any use out of this thing?
1149
01:14:28,063 --> 01:14:31,999
What I don't understand is
how you've managed to live so long.
1150
01:14:32,534 --> 01:14:35,526
- Unseen forces watch over me.
- Well, your luck just ran out.
1151
01:14:35,604 --> 01:14:36,696
What do you mean...
1152
01:14:36,772 --> 01:14:38,763
Boy, what is the matter with you?
Why do you do that?
1153
01:14:38,841 --> 01:14:39,967
Can't you see I'm trying to help you?
1154
01:14:40,042 --> 01:14:42,806
This girl has got cravings and desires
burning deep within her.
1155
01:14:42,878 --> 01:14:44,971
- Let her burn!
- It's attitudes like that,
1156
01:14:45,047 --> 01:14:46,708
callous attitudes that make it tough on me.
1157
01:14:46,782 --> 01:14:48,511
Well, I might as well tell you, I'm sick.
1158
01:14:48,584 --> 01:14:50,211
- What?
- I'm sick.
1159
01:14:50,285 --> 01:14:53,448
She's going to turn to me to put out
the fire, and I'm sick of playing patsy
1160
01:14:53,522 --> 01:14:55,956
to the entire female contingent
of central California.
1161
01:14:56,024 --> 01:14:57,321
- You...
- I can't go on like this.
1162
01:14:57,392 --> 01:15:00,156
Not again. Look, son, you don't understand.
1163
01:15:00,229 --> 01:15:02,857
Look, start your program right away,
as soon as she gets out of the shower.
1164
01:15:02,931 --> 01:15:05,923
Show your indifference
by leaving her alone with me.
1165
01:15:09,171 --> 01:15:12,106
Welcome to my apartment. I hope you like it,
because I want you to know
1166
01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:15,075
that it is available to you at any time.
I mean, you might want to pop over here
1167
01:15:15,143 --> 01:15:18,476
and do some homework
or maybe get some uninterrupted sleep.
1168
01:15:18,580 --> 01:15:21,174
And I'll just toot along back in
and continue to lavish her with attention.
1169
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:24,014
Of course, that rules me out right away
as a love object, doesn't it?
1170
01:15:24,086 --> 01:15:26,247
Here, simple, huh? Bye.
1171
01:15:31,727 --> 01:15:34,662
Be careful what you're grabbing there, boy.
1172
01:15:46,742 --> 01:15:51,270
Grind away, you little devilThe key to happiness
1173
01:15:56,618 --> 01:15:58,017
Please, God.
1174
01:16:33,155 --> 01:16:36,647
Irene! Irene! Honey, Irene.
1175
01:16:37,526 --> 01:16:40,586
Dave, what happen... Irene!
1176
01:16:40,662 --> 01:16:42,095
What happened?
1177
01:16:42,164 --> 01:16:44,223
- Dave, what did you do?
- I hit her on the head.
1178
01:16:44,299 --> 01:16:46,494
- What? How could you do that?
- With a thing.
1179
01:16:46,568 --> 01:16:48,661
- Well, I...
- Irene!
1180
01:16:48,737 --> 01:16:50,568
- Can you hear me? Is she dead?
- Irene.
1181
01:16:50,639 --> 01:16:53,130
- Irene. Irene, wake up. Wake up.
- What could've happened? She's out cold.
1182
01:16:53,208 --> 01:16:54,334
- Wake up, Irene.
- What happened?
1183
01:16:54,409 --> 01:16:56,775
- He hit her with something.
- Well, that's ridiculous.
1184
01:16:56,878 --> 01:16:59,244
- You stay out of this, Hogan.
- You gotta learn to control that temper.
1185
01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:00,804
- I'm telling you...
- Stop shouting.
1186
01:17:00,916 --> 01:17:02,178
- Well, then get him out of here.
- What?
1187
01:17:02,250 --> 01:17:05,515
- Go get the brandy. Irene.
- Going around poleaxing women like that.
1188
01:17:05,587 --> 01:17:06,986
How are you going to be
a successful architect
1189
01:17:07,055 --> 01:17:08,283
if you get the reputation
for being a hothead?
1190
01:17:08,357 --> 01:17:10,416
- You want to take my advice in this matter?
- Just button your lip
1191
01:17:10,492 --> 01:17:13,791
and get out of here, Hogan.
Robin, give me the brandy. Irene.
1192
01:17:13,862 --> 01:17:15,659
Dave Manning,
I don't know what's gotten into you.
1193
01:17:15,731 --> 01:17:17,562
How could you be so brutal
to a poor woman?
1194
01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:18,657
I didn't know it was Irene.
1195
01:17:18,734 --> 01:17:20,497
Hitting her over the head with a bottle,
or whatever it is.
1196
01:17:20,569 --> 01:17:23,094
I didn't do it on purpose.
What do you think I am?
1197
01:17:23,171 --> 01:17:24,365
I'm not sure now.
1198
01:17:24,439 --> 01:17:26,805
Well, I find it doesn't pay
to get panicky in these situations.
1199
01:17:26,875 --> 01:17:29,844
Women are very tough, you know.
They got much more fiber than you think.
1200
01:17:29,911 --> 01:17:32,402
Can I make a suggestion?
The best place for this girl,
1201
01:17:32,481 --> 01:17:35,279
obviously, is her own bed, so why don't
you just pick her up and take her home.
1202
01:17:35,350 --> 01:17:38,649
And in the meantime, I'll do my level best
to try and calm poor Robin down.
1203
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:41,746
- You are full of helpful ideas, aren't you?
- Why do you... There you go again.
1204
01:17:41,823 --> 01:17:44,656
- Now, what's... A simple suggestion.
- I am going to do now, Hogan,
1205
01:17:44,726 --> 01:17:47,126
what I should have done
the minute you stuck your nose in our lives.
1206
01:17:47,195 --> 01:17:48,719
There you go again,
lack of emotional control.
1207
01:17:48,830 --> 01:17:51,025
People are gonna talk about you.
You'd better pull yourself together.
1208
01:17:51,099 --> 01:17:52,191
You're going to be a lousy architect.
1209
01:17:52,267 --> 01:17:55,703
Lines all zig-zaggy jiggly,
and I don't like the look in your...
1210
01:17:55,771 --> 01:17:58,934
Now, come on, fella. Now, come on, baby.
1211
01:18:07,149 --> 01:18:08,138
Take your pulse.
1212
01:18:09,418 --> 01:18:10,885
How's Irene?
1213
01:18:10,952 --> 01:18:14,353
Well, you have been an absolute beast
ever since I came home.
1214
01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:16,288
Hitting this poor woman
on the head like that.
1215
01:18:16,358 --> 01:18:18,223
Honey, I thought it was Hogan.
Holy smoke...
1216
01:18:18,293 --> 01:18:20,659
And then screaming at everybody.
1217
01:18:20,729 --> 01:18:23,095
- And why would you want to hit Hogan?
- Why would I...
1218
01:18:23,165 --> 01:18:24,792
Oh, boy! Well, I...
1219
01:18:24,866 --> 01:18:27,460
- Where is Hogan?
- He left unexpectedly. Irene.
1220
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:30,596
- Well, I'm glad this evening happened.
- You are?
1221
01:18:30,672 --> 01:18:34,938
Yes, I am. I've discovered
a whole other side of you I've never known.
1222
01:18:35,010 --> 01:18:38,309
- Well, now you know. I'm a raving monster.
- You certainly are.
1223
01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:41,110
And with no provocation, either.
Just two nights without sleep,
1224
01:18:41,183 --> 01:18:44,914
no dinner, no girl, and this burlesque
of married life you've dreamt up.
1225
01:18:44,986 --> 01:18:48,046
Look at this place, honey. It is a junk heap.
1226
01:18:49,357 --> 01:18:51,518
Our little sanctum.
Wasn't that what it was supposed to be?
1227
01:18:51,593 --> 01:18:55,495
Where we can reveal ourselves
and exchange deep confidences.
1228
01:18:55,564 --> 01:18:58,624
With people walking in and out,
and doors opening and closing,
1229
01:18:58,700 --> 01:19:01,225
and a kooky landlord across the hall
with 5,000 keys.
1230
01:19:01,303 --> 01:19:05,205
I tell you, lady, it's a nut house.
You are running a loony bin.
1231
01:19:07,008 --> 01:19:09,067
You're just terrible.
1232
01:19:24,159 --> 01:19:25,626
- Morning, folks.
- Morning.
1233
01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:27,218
- How are you this morning?
- Fine.
1234
01:19:32,567 --> 01:19:35,468
Here, kitty. Here, kitty. Come on.
That's a good boy.
1235
01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:37,732
Come on. Come on. Here it is.
1236
01:19:49,351 --> 01:19:52,479
- See you at lunch. And I can't wait.
- I'll bet.
1237
01:20:06,368 --> 01:20:08,768
- Hi, Murphy. How are you?
- Couldn't be better, honey.
1238
01:20:08,837 --> 01:20:11,670
- Murph!
- Just watering the plants, honey.
1239
01:20:12,307 --> 01:20:14,502
Well, stick to your watering.
1240
01:20:20,148 --> 01:20:22,548
Mr. Hogan! Not again?
1241
01:20:22,617 --> 01:20:26,280
What's wrong with you, boy?
You trying to kill us? Come on.
1242
01:20:26,354 --> 01:20:27,844
I don't believe this.
1243
01:20:27,923 --> 01:20:30,983
You sure got a funny way
of getting your kicks.
1244
01:20:32,127 --> 01:20:35,221
You got a bed.
Why don't you try sleeping in it?
1245
01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:38,731
We're running out of towels.
1246
01:20:39,968 --> 01:20:43,802
Get you right to bed. That would be better.
1247
01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:47,900
Found him in the bushes again.
1248
01:20:47,976 --> 01:20:51,776
Sure would like to know
what he does with his evenings. Man!
1249
01:20:59,154 --> 01:21:02,214
I am sorry and ashamed
about barging in last night.
1250
01:21:02,290 --> 01:21:04,724
I don't know why I thought
Hogan was here bothering you.
1251
01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:06,226
No, he was a perfect gentleman.
1252
01:21:06,294 --> 01:21:08,524
He brought me home
and went into his apartment.
1253
01:21:08,597 --> 01:21:10,861
Well, that doesn't sound like Hogan.
1254
01:21:10,932 --> 01:21:13,423
I don't know. I saw the two of you
dancing together,
1255
01:21:13,501 --> 01:21:17,130
- and my female instinct just backfired.
- When did Dave leave?
1256
01:21:17,205 --> 01:21:21,801
He insisted that I sleep on his cot,
and he went on to the fraternity house.
1257
01:21:22,844 --> 01:21:25,972
Well, anyway, the whole thing ended up
in a terrible mess.
1258
01:21:26,047 --> 01:21:28,811
We said all sorts of horrible things
to each other last night,
1259
01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:31,409
and he probably despises me by now.
1260
01:21:32,621 --> 01:21:36,887
- I'm sure he doesn't despise you.
- Well, if he doesn't, he should.
1261
01:21:38,260 --> 01:21:40,592
I botched things but good this time.
1262
01:21:44,599 --> 01:21:46,260
- Hey, there.
- Hi.
1263
01:21:46,334 --> 01:21:47,631
- Hi.
- How's the head?
1264
01:21:47,702 --> 01:21:52,162
Not bad. It's even possible the new contour
of my skull may be an improvement.
1265
01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:54,538
- You have forgiven me?
- I told you a dozen times.
1266
01:21:54,609 --> 01:21:57,737
I just wish your timing had been better,
and you'd beaned Hogan.
1267
01:21:57,812 --> 01:22:01,976
Who's that? You mean Brother Hogan
of dear old Delta Chi.
1268
01:22:02,050 --> 01:22:05,747
I had a long talk with Robin this morning,
and, well, I know it's none of my business,
1269
01:22:05,820 --> 01:22:08,516
but what do you intend doing about her?
1270
01:22:10,091 --> 01:22:14,994
Well, I intend to go shopping
for a few special items,
1271
01:22:15,597 --> 01:22:20,227
and then I intend to go home
and apologize to her
1272
01:22:20,302 --> 01:22:23,430
and spend a quiet evening
with the girl I love.
1273
01:22:23,505 --> 01:22:26,030
There's something about the tone
of your voice, David Manning.
1274
01:22:26,107 --> 01:22:28,575
What do you mean, "quiet evening"?
1275
01:22:28,643 --> 01:22:31,737
Well, Irene, that's really
none of your business, now.
1276
01:22:31,813 --> 01:22:36,716
I feel myself somewhat responsible for her.
Now, what are your intentions?
1277
01:22:39,487 --> 01:22:42,217
Miss Wilson, I am a guy in love.
1278
01:22:43,191 --> 01:22:46,456
Now, I'm going to do
what any normal male would do.
1279
01:22:46,828 --> 01:22:49,353
I'm going to have a quiet little drink
with the girl I love
1280
01:22:49,431 --> 01:22:53,390
in front of a quiet little fire,
listening to some quiet little music
1281
01:22:53,468 --> 01:22:56,369
and let nature take its quiet little course.
1282
01:22:56,438 --> 01:23:00,374
- See you around, Professor.
- David! David!
1283
01:23:05,680 --> 01:23:08,274
Hey, buddy-bud, I've been waiting for you.
We've got just enough light left
1284
01:23:08,350 --> 01:23:10,545
for about two sets of tennis
and then a little workout in the gym.
1285
01:23:10,618 --> 01:23:12,552
A nice cool shower.
How are you today, old boy?
1286
01:23:12,620 --> 01:23:15,453
- Fine, fine, brother, but not today.
- Wait a minute. Not today?
1287
01:23:15,523 --> 01:23:17,923
Now, boy, I don't need to tell you
the value of exercise.
1288
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:21,224
You're a man of the world. You know
how important it is to be exhausted.
1289
01:23:21,296 --> 01:23:22,888
This was passed on down to us
by the Greeks.
1290
01:23:22,964 --> 01:23:24,124
- Sophocles and Plato.
- True.
1291
01:23:24,199 --> 01:23:26,599
A womanless world is the very foundation
of the Platonic theory, isn't it?
1292
01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,260
- Wonderful, wonderful.
- Listen, you've got to fight hard
1293
01:23:28,336 --> 01:23:30,998
against your arch enemy, kid. Vitality.
1294
01:23:31,306 --> 01:23:34,764
I tell you, that sounds just great, Hogan.
You go play tennis.
1295
01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:38,370
I'm going to let my vitality just sit by
a cozy fire tonight and enjoy itself.
1296
01:23:38,446 --> 01:23:40,243
- Listen, I have misjudged you, boy.
- I'll see you later.
1297
01:23:40,315 --> 01:23:41,976
I'm ashamed of you. Ashamed!
1298
01:23:42,050 --> 01:23:43,278
Yeah, well, look us up in the morning,
will you?
1299
01:23:43,351 --> 01:23:47,310
- Not too early. I may be sleeping late.
- He's catching on.
1300
01:24:04,706 --> 01:24:06,037
Hello.
1301
01:24:14,816 --> 01:24:17,876
- Honey, I just want to say...
- Look, do me one favor. Don't say anything.
1302
01:24:17,952 --> 01:24:20,580
- Last night never existed, agreed?
- Whatever you say.
1303
01:24:20,655 --> 01:24:22,520
- You're the boss.
- Okay. I love you very much.
1304
01:24:22,590 --> 01:24:24,854
- I love you, too, David.
- Okay.
1305
01:24:25,360 --> 01:24:27,954
- That's all that matters, then, really, isn't it?
- Yeah.
1306
01:24:28,029 --> 01:24:29,553
- And tonight...
- What?
1307
01:24:29,631 --> 01:24:31,189
...is another story.
1308
01:24:31,266 --> 01:24:34,793
Well, I think I'll go upstairs and
finish dressing, okay? I'll be back in...
1309
01:24:34,869 --> 01:24:37,030
Hey, honey, what did you buy? What is it?
1310
01:24:37,105 --> 01:24:38,800
Nothing. Some little goodies.
1311
01:24:39,274 --> 01:24:42,402
- Now, you run along, I'll show you later.
- You're acting very strangely.
1312
01:24:42,477 --> 01:24:45,275
Well, there may be a lot of strange
developments tonight.
1313
01:24:45,980 --> 01:24:47,106
Okay.
1314
01:25:45,840 --> 01:25:47,603
- It's me again.
- Yeah, so I see.
1315
01:25:47,675 --> 01:25:49,472
- Where's Robin?
- Why?
1316
01:25:50,245 --> 01:25:53,476
I've been giving this some serious thought,
David. I want to talk to both of you.
1317
01:25:53,548 --> 01:25:55,015
You don't mind if I go ahead and work,
do you?
1318
01:25:55,083 --> 01:25:56,880
- No, no, go right ahead.
- Okay.
1319
01:25:56,951 --> 01:26:00,546
I want to discuss with both of you some
of the ramifications of living together,
1320
01:26:00,622 --> 01:26:02,021
which neither of you considered.
1321
01:26:02,090 --> 01:26:03,955
Yeah, well, it sounds fascinating,
but not tonight, Irene.
1322
01:26:04,025 --> 01:26:05,856
- I'm going to have my say.
- Okay.
1323
01:26:05,927 --> 01:26:10,796
You see, trial marriage among intelligent,
literate people can essentially...
1324
01:26:11,566 --> 01:26:13,363
What's this?
1325
01:26:13,968 --> 01:26:18,735
That's E. E. Cummings' Puella Mea.
It's a rare copy I happened to come by.
1326
01:26:18,806 --> 01:26:21,798
- The drawings.
- Yeah. It's a private printing.
1327
01:26:28,516 --> 01:26:30,780
David Manning! You wouldn't.
1328
01:26:30,852 --> 01:26:33,753
Yeah, yeah. Little David. I did it.
1329
01:26:33,821 --> 01:26:37,257
After you gave your word
you wouldn't touch that girl.
1330
01:26:37,792 --> 01:26:40,625
Irene, I am not going to continue playing
Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass
1331
01:26:40,695 --> 01:26:42,390
with an adorable juvenile
that I happen to love.
1332
01:26:42,463 --> 01:26:44,294
You know, it's my fault
all this came about.
1333
01:26:44,365 --> 01:26:46,162
I've been confusing
softness with tenderness.
1334
01:26:46,234 --> 01:26:48,395
I've played buddy-buddy to her
instead of lover.
1335
01:26:48,469 --> 01:26:50,835
And if I can rectify it tonight, I...
1336
01:26:51,005 --> 01:26:53,303
Well, I'm going to,
with marriage as the door prize.
1337
01:26:53,374 --> 01:26:55,808
Well, what about your sense of ethics?
1338
01:26:55,877 --> 01:26:57,538
Well, if you don't mention
it, I won't, either.
1339
01:26:57,612 --> 01:27:01,412
Maybe it'll pass into oblivion with the help
of this strange and rare drink called mescal.
1340
01:27:01,482 --> 01:27:03,814
Made from cactus juice, I think.
1341
01:27:04,319 --> 01:27:05,513
- Hi, Irene.
- Robin.
1342
01:27:05,587 --> 01:27:07,054
- What's going on?
- Irene was just leaving, Rob.
1343
01:27:07,121 --> 01:27:09,521
- You know what he...
- Thanks a lot for dropping by, Irene.
1344
01:27:09,591 --> 01:27:10,853
So long.
1345
01:27:10,925 --> 01:27:12,654
- Come back and see us sometime.
- Goodbye, Irene.
1346
01:27:12,727 --> 01:27:14,592
- Goodbye, Irene.
- Goodbye, Irene.
1347
01:27:14,662 --> 01:27:16,857
- Yeah, we'll see you at school tomorrow.
- You poor baby.
1348
01:27:16,931 --> 01:27:18,057
- Yeah, so long.
- Be careful.
1349
01:27:18,132 --> 01:27:19,724
- Bye. Bye now.
- Be careful, darling.
1350
01:27:19,968 --> 01:27:22,129
Now, what was that all about?
1351
01:27:23,504 --> 01:27:25,597
Women, who can figure them?
1352
01:27:27,675 --> 01:27:31,008
- Well, isn't this beautiful?
- Yeah, yeah.
1353
01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:34,105
A fireplace, candles. Is that brandy?
1354
01:27:34,182 --> 01:27:37,447
- No, no. That is mescal.
- Mescal?
1355
01:27:37,518 --> 01:27:40,112
It's a native Mexican drink
distilled from pulque.
1356
01:27:40,188 --> 01:27:42,088
Are we celebrating something?
1357
01:27:42,156 --> 01:27:44,750
Yeah, no, well, could be.
1358
01:27:44,826 --> 01:27:45,850
There you go.
1359
01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:56,264
It's made from some sort of
desert cactus plant, I think.
1360
01:27:56,404 --> 01:27:59,896
- They left the needles in it.
- Yeah, they sure did.
1361
01:27:59,974 --> 01:28:02,943
- Would you like some music?
- I'd love it.
1362
01:28:28,870 --> 01:28:32,169
- Would you like to dance?
- I don't know if we should.
1363
01:28:32,240 --> 01:28:34,674
- Well, arms length.
- All right.
1364
01:28:34,742 --> 01:28:38,200
- Okay.
- It's nice.
1365
01:28:45,386 --> 01:28:46,512
Dave?
1366
01:28:47,789 --> 01:28:50,724
Tonight, I'm filled with new hopes
and resolve.
1367
01:28:50,792 --> 01:28:54,785
I just have a feeling everything's
going to work out just great.
1368
01:28:55,363 --> 01:28:58,196
Yeah. Let's drink to that.
1369
01:28:58,266 --> 01:29:02,066
All right. Whatever you say, I'm your slave.
1370
01:29:05,640 --> 01:29:07,972
- There we go. Cheers.
- Cheers.
1371
01:29:13,548 --> 01:29:17,109
When you get used to it,
it tastes just like fruit juice.
1372
01:29:18,853 --> 01:29:19,945
Yeah.
1373
01:29:21,689 --> 01:29:25,090
Would you pour me another drink, please?
1374
01:29:25,660 --> 01:29:26,991
Thank you.
1375
01:29:36,137 --> 01:29:37,365
David?
1376
01:29:40,341 --> 01:29:43,071
- Do you know what I think mescal is?
- What?
1377
01:29:43,144 --> 01:29:45,271
I think it's some mysterious concoction
1378
01:29:45,346 --> 01:29:49,146
designed to destroy
lovely Mexican girls' willpowers-es.
1379
01:29:49,684 --> 01:29:51,208
Willpowers-es?
1380
01:29:51,986 --> 01:29:54,955
- That's the plural form.
- The plural form.
1381
01:29:55,556 --> 01:29:57,148
I like it. I like it.
1382
01:29:57,225 --> 01:29:59,853
Rob, honey,
you know that I love you, don't you,
1383
01:29:59,961 --> 01:30:02,896
and that I'd never do anything to harm you?
1384
01:30:02,964 --> 01:30:04,124
- Of course.
- Yeah.
1385
01:30:04,198 --> 01:30:06,826
Well, of course, it might happen that
1386
01:30:06,901 --> 01:30:09,995
I would do something, which,
at the moment, might seem to be harmful...
1387
01:30:10,071 --> 01:30:12,039
- David, that's impossible...
- Well, no, what I mean is...
1388
01:30:12,106 --> 01:30:13,539
You're not capable of it.
1389
01:30:13,608 --> 01:30:16,475
I mean, you're much too trustworthy
and fine and upstanding.
1390
01:30:16,544 --> 01:30:18,136
That's just you.
1391
01:30:18,413 --> 01:30:22,747
- Yeah, but what I was thinking...
- When you make a promise, you stick to it.
1392
01:30:22,817 --> 01:30:26,048
Dave, you have
a marvelous sense of integrity.
1393
01:30:26,120 --> 01:30:27,280
Swell.
1394
01:30:28,423 --> 01:30:31,449
- Let's drink to your integrity.
- Yeah, okay.
1395
01:30:37,165 --> 01:30:41,693
- What's this?
- Just a little book of poetry
1396
01:30:41,769 --> 01:30:44,237
that I happened to stumble across.
1397
01:30:44,839 --> 01:30:47,433
E. E. Cummings' Puella Mea. I just love it.
1398
01:30:47,508 --> 01:30:49,305
- Yeah, you know it?
- By heart.
1399
01:30:49,377 --> 01:30:51,504
Well, some of it, at least.
1400
01:30:56,651 --> 01:30:59,984
Poetry, music, booze.
1401
01:31:01,656 --> 01:31:02,987
Fireplace.
1402
01:31:04,058 --> 01:31:09,155
David Manning, if I didn't know you so well,
I'd swear you were trying to seduce me.
1403
01:31:09,230 --> 01:31:13,132
Robin! Well, how can you say
a thing like that?
1404
01:31:13,201 --> 01:31:16,967
- Well, I was just teasing.
- Well...
1405
01:31:19,207 --> 01:31:22,768
"Caliph and king their ladies
had to love them and make them glad
1406
01:31:22,844 --> 01:31:26,302
"when the world was young and mad,
in the city of Baghdad. "
1407
01:31:27,215 --> 01:31:30,946
The poem is a description of the girl
Cummings loved madly.
1408
01:31:31,986 --> 01:31:34,716
- It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry.
- Yeah, yeah.
1409
01:31:34,789 --> 01:31:37,121
Let's drink to old Caliph, huh?
1410
01:31:37,592 --> 01:31:39,492
- There you go.
- Okay.
1411
01:31:40,728 --> 01:31:45,188
After a couple of these, you hardly notice
the needles at all, do you?
1412
01:31:46,467 --> 01:31:49,527
- You read it to me.
- Okay. Now, let's see here...
1413
01:31:51,973 --> 01:31:54,134
Let me get to the good part.
1414
01:31:55,743 --> 01:31:59,338
"In her perfectest array,
my lady, moving in the... "
1415
01:31:59,413 --> 01:32:01,813
- And I can prove it, too.
- You can prove what?
1416
01:32:01,883 --> 01:32:02,941
Your integrity.
1417
01:32:03,017 --> 01:32:06,282
Why, what other fellow in the whole world
would have stuck to such a difficult promise
1418
01:32:06,354 --> 01:32:08,413
- as you made to me?
- Rob, why have you suddenly developed
1419
01:32:08,489 --> 01:32:11,890
such a narrow range of conversation?
Now, let's enjoy the evening
1420
01:32:11,993 --> 01:32:14,086
and not talk about integrity.
1421
01:32:14,161 --> 01:32:15,685
- Sorry.
- Okay.
1422
01:32:16,264 --> 01:32:17,458
Buddy!
1423
01:32:19,867 --> 01:32:22,335
Rob, you'd better slow down on that stuff.
1424
01:32:23,037 --> 01:32:25,301
- Read me!
- Yeah, okay, okay.
1425
01:32:26,440 --> 01:32:28,840
"In her perfectest array, my lady
1426
01:32:28,910 --> 01:32:32,141
"moving in the day,
is a little stranger thing than all... "
1427
01:32:32,213 --> 01:32:35,080
That's me, big boy, strange! Here.
1428
01:32:41,956 --> 01:32:43,116
Yeah.
1429
01:32:44,959 --> 01:32:50,488
"If she a little... If she a little turn
her head, I know that I am wholly dead.
1430
01:32:51,032 --> 01:32:52,727
"But should my... "
1431
01:32:55,303 --> 01:32:59,399
"But should my lady smile,
it were a flower of pure surprise.
1432
01:33:00,841 --> 01:33:03,435
"And if she speak in her frail way... "
1433
01:33:03,511 --> 01:33:04,944
- Hiya!
- Rob!
1434
01:33:07,048 --> 01:33:09,346
- "It is wholly to bewitch... " Rob, for God...
- Read it, be-bo!
1435
01:33:09,417 --> 01:33:12,818
- Dynamite me! Go, go, go!
- Okay, okay.
1436
01:33:12,887 --> 01:33:16,755
"Her body is most beauteous,
being for all things amorous,
1437
01:33:16,824 --> 01:33:19,987
"fashioned very curiously
of roses and of ivory.
1438
01:33:20,061 --> 01:33:22,029
- "And of all of the... "
- More, more, more!
1439
01:33:22,096 --> 01:33:24,064
Rob, for Pete's sake, take it easy, will you?
1440
01:33:24,131 --> 01:33:28,693
"Upon the lovely and keen throat
the strangeness of her face doth float,
1441
01:33:28,769 --> 01:33:32,500
"within her eyes is dimly heard,
a wistful and precarious bird. "
1442
01:33:32,573 --> 01:33:35,167
- Rob...
- "Springing from fragrant shoulders small
1443
01:33:35,242 --> 01:33:37,472
"Ardent and perfect withal,
1444
01:33:37,545 --> 01:33:40,639
- "smooth to stroke and sweet to see... "
- For Pete's sake, Rob!
1445
01:33:40,715 --> 01:33:42,808
- "As supple as the young tree... "
- Rob...
1446
01:33:42,883 --> 01:33:48,150
"Her slim lascivious arms alight.
In skillful wrists which hint of flight. "
1447
01:33:48,222 --> 01:33:49,780
- Honey, now look...
- "Each tapering breast
1448
01:33:49,857 --> 01:33:52,417
- "is firm and smooth. "
- Well, for goodness sakes, cut that out!
1449
01:33:52,493 --> 01:33:54,461
"Her waist is a most tiny hinge of flesh,
1450
01:33:54,528 --> 01:33:56,758
- "winsome thing and strange. "
- Sweetheart, look. Wait just a minute.
1451
01:33:56,831 --> 01:34:00,460
"It is a throbbing neck whereby
to grasp the belly's ample vase. "
1452
01:34:00,534 --> 01:34:02,161
Honey, wait...
1453
01:34:03,270 --> 01:34:06,569
- Wait a minute...
- David! We can't!
1454
01:34:09,143 --> 01:34:11,907
- Can we?
- Honey...
1455
01:34:12,613 --> 01:34:14,547
- Rob.
- David, what's the matter?
1456
01:34:14,615 --> 01:34:17,209
Honey, you have the most infuriating
damned sense of timing!
1457
01:34:17,284 --> 01:34:19,980
Reminding me about commitment
at a time like this.
1458
01:34:20,054 --> 01:34:21,578
You ever hear of shooting fish
in a barrel, huh?
1459
01:34:21,656 --> 01:34:23,317
Well, that's you, Rob.
1460
01:34:23,391 --> 01:34:27,851
Besides, I don't want some vintner in
Mexico City doing my groundwork for me.
1461
01:34:27,928 --> 01:34:31,489
Honey, look, I know your idea is cockeyed,
now that much I know,
1462
01:34:31,565 --> 01:34:35,057
but I'm not sure that my idea is any better.
Do you understand?
1463
01:34:35,136 --> 01:34:36,364
No.
1464
01:34:36,437 --> 01:34:38,769
This is no way to start our marriage.
1465
01:34:38,839 --> 01:34:42,275
You're half-pie-eyed on mescal
and I'm... Well, I just can't do it.
1466
01:34:42,343 --> 01:34:44,174
I just can't do it.
1467
01:34:48,382 --> 01:34:52,614
A perfect setup, fire, music and
I'm walking. I gotta be cracking up.
1468
01:34:55,089 --> 01:34:57,853
Or else I love you more than I realized.
1469
01:35:19,447 --> 01:35:21,142
Well, hi, there!
1470
01:35:28,422 --> 01:35:30,754
Good evening, you sweet thing.
1471
01:36:49,436 --> 01:36:50,596
Rob?
1472
01:37:49,063 --> 01:37:51,088
Rob, you decent?
1473
01:37:55,569 --> 01:37:57,059
Robin?
1474
01:38:12,586 --> 01:38:13,678
Hi.
1475
01:38:37,311 --> 01:38:38,778
Good morning.
1476
01:38:39,313 --> 01:38:41,110
Good morning, David.
1477
01:38:41,949 --> 01:38:45,009
I'm taking the extra tube of toothpaste.
1478
01:38:46,186 --> 01:38:48,211
That's all right with me.
1479
01:38:49,790 --> 01:38:53,419
Rob...
Robin, will you forgive me for last night?
1480
01:38:54,395 --> 01:38:56,090
- Forgive you?
- Yeah.
1481
01:38:56,163 --> 01:38:59,564
With me sprawling all over you.
Why, I practically attacked you.
1482
01:38:59,633 --> 01:39:04,195
Robin, I set it up, don't you understand?
The mescal, the music, the...
1483
01:39:05,539 --> 01:39:09,270
Well, I guess it doesn't matter now,
because I'm moving out.
1484
01:39:10,010 --> 01:39:13,571
Now, I'm putting you on notice.
All commitments are off.
1485
01:39:13,647 --> 01:39:16,639
I love you. I want to marry you, and
I'll do whatever I have to do to get you.
1486
01:39:16,717 --> 01:39:19,117
- Is that understood?
- A new start?
1487
01:39:19,186 --> 01:39:20,847
A brand new start.
1488
01:39:23,924 --> 01:39:25,619
What's the matter?
1489
01:39:25,859 --> 01:39:29,625
Well, David, I've got to tell you...
1490
01:39:31,065 --> 01:39:33,033
- Tell me what?
- After you left last night,
1491
01:39:33,100 --> 01:39:36,433
Hogan came in and, well,
I was in a pretty peculiar state of mind...
1492
01:39:36,503 --> 01:39:39,472
- Well...
- I lost my gorilla.
1493
01:39:39,540 --> 01:39:43,271
Hogan, please, you're...
We're trying to settle something.
1494
01:39:44,278 --> 01:39:46,940
Hogan, if you don't mind,
I'm trying to talk to Dave.
1495
01:39:47,014 --> 01:39:48,311
Yeah, well, you kids go right ahead.
1496
01:39:48,382 --> 01:39:50,179
- Hogan!
- There he is.
1497
01:40:02,763 --> 01:40:07,325
- David, I want to tell you all about last night.
- Robin, you don't have to tell me anything.
1498
01:40:07,401 --> 01:40:09,266
You don't have to account to me
or to anybody else.
1499
01:40:09,336 --> 01:40:11,361
- I just want to explain...
- Well, I don't want to hear about it.
1500
01:40:11,438 --> 01:40:13,463
It is not what you think.
1501
01:40:13,540 --> 01:40:15,838
- Yeah?
- Exactly.
1502
01:40:15,909 --> 01:40:19,310
Well, at least have the courtesy
to hear me out.
1503
01:40:19,380 --> 01:40:22,679
Okay. Okay, I'm listening.
1504
01:40:23,917 --> 01:40:25,282
Well...
1505
01:40:25,919 --> 01:40:30,219
Well, after you left, Hogan came in
and he was very considerate.
1506
01:40:30,290 --> 01:40:33,487
- Yeah.
- And, well, he was very sympathetic.
1507
01:40:33,560 --> 01:40:35,357
I'll bet he was.
1508
01:40:35,429 --> 01:40:38,455
Well, we sat by the fireplace,
1509
01:40:38,532 --> 01:40:41,865
and we were talking and drinking and...
1510
01:40:43,337 --> 01:40:47,068
- I guess I was a little tipsy.
- You were potted, is what you were.
1511
01:40:47,141 --> 01:40:49,837
Well, I am not trying to use that
as an excuse, David.
1512
01:40:49,910 --> 01:40:52,242
- Okay.
- Anyway,
1513
01:40:53,147 --> 01:40:57,914
Hogan explained to me that
he thought my plan to live with you
1514
01:40:57,985 --> 01:41:00,112
was a rationalization to try and cover up
1515
01:41:00,187 --> 01:41:02,655
- a basic desire I couldn't face.
- A basic desire that you couldn't face.
1516
01:41:02,723 --> 01:41:05,385
- Yeah, that's my pal, Hogan.
- Anyway, out of nowhere, nowhere,
1517
01:41:05,459 --> 01:41:07,893
came this brilliant idea.
1518
01:41:10,764 --> 01:41:15,895
If all I wanted was to be made love to...
1519
01:41:15,969 --> 01:41:17,596
Yeah, yeah, yeah?
1520
01:41:17,671 --> 01:41:20,071
...then the particular fellow didn't matter.
1521
01:41:20,140 --> 01:41:24,839
- And whose brilliant idea was that?
- Hogan's.
1522
01:41:26,046 --> 01:41:29,311
I remember at the time thinking
how marvelously lucid his mind was.
1523
01:41:29,383 --> 01:41:32,352
- It's a beacon in the night.
- Well, considering all we had to drink,
1524
01:41:32,419 --> 01:41:36,788
why, I was positively fractured. I couldn't
even hit him once in the pillow fight.
1525
01:41:36,857 --> 01:41:40,156
- The pillow fight?
- Yes, the pillow fight.
1526
01:41:40,260 --> 01:41:42,194
Well, Hogan was just trying to cheer me up.
1527
01:41:42,262 --> 01:41:44,560
- I was awfully depressed, Dave.
- Oh, honey...
1528
01:41:44,631 --> 01:41:47,293
Now, David, will you please listen to me?
1529
01:41:47,367 --> 01:41:50,131
- Honey, I'm listening. I am listening.
- All right.
1530
01:41:50,204 --> 01:41:51,865
Then he kissed me.
1531
01:41:53,574 --> 01:41:55,064
He kissed you?
1532
01:41:55,175 --> 01:41:58,906
It was very sweet of Hogan
to try and pretend to be so sincere.
1533
01:41:58,979 --> 01:42:00,970
And him just a volunteer worker, too.
1534
01:42:01,048 --> 01:42:04,017
Well, then we were sitting
on the edge of the bed...
1535
01:42:04,084 --> 01:42:07,019
- That does it! That does it!
- David! David!
1536
01:42:07,121 --> 01:42:09,180
I haven't the vaguest idea how we got there.
1537
01:42:09,323 --> 01:42:10,813
Now, David, you're jumping to conclusions.
1538
01:42:10,891 --> 01:42:13,655
Now, what do you think you're doing?
Now, stop that, David!
1539
01:42:14,995 --> 01:42:17,964
David! Are you out of your mind?
Why'd you hit him!
1540
01:42:22,870 --> 01:42:26,738
Hit him again when he gets up!
Boy, do you pack a wallop!
1541
01:42:27,241 --> 01:42:30,108
- David, why would you do that?
- For the sheer ecstatic pleasure of it.
1542
01:42:30,177 --> 01:42:31,769
- He's up. Belt him!
- Well...
1543
01:42:31,845 --> 01:42:35,281
- You lay a hand on me, and I'll...
- David, nothing else happened.
1544
01:42:35,349 --> 01:42:37,146
Yeah! What?
1545
01:42:37,217 --> 01:42:40,050
It's the truth. I swear it. Nothing happened!
1546
01:42:40,120 --> 01:42:43,851
Wait a minute... Do you mean to tell me
that you sat over there
1547
01:42:43,924 --> 01:42:47,087
and drank with him in the dark
and talked sex by the volume
1548
01:42:47,161 --> 01:42:48,753
and let him kiss you and everything
and nothing?
1549
01:42:48,829 --> 01:42:51,389
- I kept trying to explain.
- Well...
1550
01:42:54,134 --> 01:42:55,795
Hogan, look, I'm sorry.
1551
01:42:55,869 --> 01:42:58,235
Perfectly all right, I
deserved every bit of it.
1552
01:42:58,305 --> 01:43:00,637
- Yeah, well, I didn't understand.
- Fortunes of war, you know, son.
1553
01:43:00,707 --> 01:43:03,073
- How's the eye?
- The eye? The eye's fine.
1554
01:43:03,143 --> 01:43:04,872
I'm having trouble with my lip here.
You bit it last night.
1555
01:43:04,945 --> 01:43:08,073
- Hogan, I'm sorry, really.
- That's all right. I got another one.
1556
01:43:08,148 --> 01:43:10,708
- Well, brother, no hard feelings, huh?
- No.
1557
01:43:10,784 --> 01:43:12,115
Come on.
1558
01:43:12,186 --> 01:43:14,586
I must say, not every fellow
has such a gentlemanly attitude
1559
01:43:14,655 --> 01:43:17,215
towards a man
who just made love to his girl.
1560
01:43:17,291 --> 01:43:19,623
Made love to me? You did not!
1561
01:43:22,496 --> 01:43:25,329
I would have lied under oath,
but I naturally assumed you'd told him.
1562
01:43:25,399 --> 01:43:27,162
Well, there's nothing to tell.
It didn't happen.
1563
01:43:27,234 --> 01:43:28,258
It didn't happen.
1564
01:43:28,335 --> 01:43:30,462
Well, you had too much to drink.
You're confused, Hogan.
1565
01:43:30,537 --> 01:43:31,834
Too much to drink and I'm confused.
1566
01:43:31,905 --> 01:43:34,271
She's forgotten completely.
That's just as good as if nothing happened.
1567
01:43:34,341 --> 01:43:36,332
- I have not forgotten.
- It's all right, Rob. Forget it!
1568
01:43:36,410 --> 01:43:38,503
Well, listen to him,
implying that if it actually had happened,
1569
01:43:38,579 --> 01:43:39,978
I wouldn't even know.
1570
01:43:40,047 --> 01:43:42,481
- That'd be a gyp, wouldn't it?
- Let's just drop the whole thing.
1571
01:43:42,583 --> 01:43:43,914
- I don't...
- Trying to help you.
1572
01:43:43,984 --> 01:43:46,817
- What do you want me to say?
- I want you to tell the truth.
1573
01:43:46,887 --> 01:43:48,479
You didn't do anything!
1574
01:43:48,555 --> 01:43:52,514
I didn't do anything,
nothing at all whatsoever happened.
1575
01:43:52,593 --> 01:43:53,719
Okay.
1576
01:43:54,328 --> 01:43:56,353
- I didn't?
- Of course not!
1577
01:43:56,730 --> 01:43:58,823
Well, you ought to know.
But then again, so should I.
1578
01:43:58,899 --> 01:44:00,423
Now, wait a minute, it sure seemed it to me.
1579
01:44:00,500 --> 01:44:04,368
I mean, I may not know much, but this
is one thing I've never failed to recognize.
1580
01:44:04,438 --> 01:44:07,236
- Let's take it from the beginning.
- Let's not take it from the beginning!
1581
01:44:07,307 --> 01:44:08,797
- I don't want to know.
- David, just calm down.
1582
01:44:08,875 --> 01:44:11,366
Well, what about me? I want to know!
1583
01:44:11,445 --> 01:44:13,413
I sure want to know about it.
1584
01:44:13,480 --> 01:44:14,970
I sure want to know what I did.
1585
01:44:15,048 --> 01:44:18,074
Has it gotten so bad
I don't know when I do or when I don't?
1586
01:44:18,151 --> 01:44:21,120
Merciful heavens,
when that goes, what's left?
1587
01:44:22,256 --> 01:44:25,987
I would have sworn
I had my arms around someone last night.
1588
01:44:26,526 --> 01:44:27,754
Morning.
1589
01:44:29,029 --> 01:44:33,125
- Irene, what are you doing here?
- I do keep popping up, don't I?
1590
01:44:33,200 --> 01:44:34,963
Oh, good Lord!
1591
01:44:35,902 --> 01:44:39,099
I not only don't know "if,"
I don't even know "who"!
1592
01:44:39,172 --> 01:44:40,833
Sorry, I was worried about you last night.
1593
01:44:40,907 --> 01:44:43,967
Honestly, everybody's so darned concerned
about my well-being.
1594
01:44:44,044 --> 01:44:45,671
Will you please listen to me?
1595
01:44:45,746 --> 01:44:49,238
I came because I didn't want you and Dave
to start off life on the wrong foot.
1596
01:44:49,316 --> 01:44:51,045
I saw that sex trap you set for her
last night.
1597
01:44:51,118 --> 01:44:52,608
Sex trap?
1598
01:44:52,686 --> 01:44:54,745
Honey, somebody had to watch out
for your welfare,
1599
01:44:54,821 --> 01:44:56,618
to see that you didn't drown
in your own experiments.
1600
01:44:56,690 --> 01:44:59,056
Well, for your information, Irene,
not that it's any of your business,
1601
01:44:59,126 --> 01:45:02,152
- but I left early last night.
- Well, when I got here, you were both gone.
1602
01:45:02,229 --> 01:45:04,060
That's what I was trying to tell you.
1603
01:45:04,131 --> 01:45:07,123
I was out, walking all night long, thinking.
1604
01:45:07,200 --> 01:45:08,792
Well, the place was empty,
1605
01:45:08,869 --> 01:45:13,203
except for this miserable creature,
1606
01:45:13,273 --> 01:45:17,801
sprawled half-on, half-off the bed
in alcoholic stupor!
1607
01:45:18,045 --> 01:45:21,014
I put his feet up to make him comfortable,
and what does he do?
1608
01:45:21,081 --> 01:45:24,141
Out cold, mind you,
and he still makes a pass!
1609
01:45:24,217 --> 01:45:28,051
I knew it! I knew there was somebody!
I wasn't having hallucinations.
1610
01:45:28,121 --> 01:45:30,385
What makes you think so, you worm?
1611
01:45:30,457 --> 01:45:31,719
First, he calls me Robin.
1612
01:45:31,792 --> 01:45:34,124
Then that doesn't work,
he goes right on down the list.
1613
01:45:34,194 --> 01:45:37,129
- Cheryl, Ericka, Monique, Liz.
- Irene, I beg you,
1614
01:45:37,197 --> 01:45:38,960
tell me what happened
when I got to "Irene"?
1615
01:45:39,032 --> 01:45:40,226
By that time, you big ape,
1616
01:45:40,300 --> 01:45:43,667
I had all I could do to keep
from braining you, drunk or sober.
1617
01:45:43,737 --> 01:45:46,103
Robin, take the advice of an older
and wiser woman,
1618
01:45:46,173 --> 01:45:47,367
pack your things and get out of here now.
1619
01:45:47,441 --> 01:45:48,840
Wait, just... I'm the landlord around here.
1620
01:45:48,909 --> 01:45:52,401
- You mean to tell me that I didn't...
- Shut up and leave us alone!
1621
01:45:52,479 --> 01:45:54,379
- This is very important to me.
- Out!
1622
01:45:54,448 --> 01:45:55,779
- Do you mean to tell me...
- Out!
1623
01:45:55,849 --> 01:45:59,216
You're worried about them,
what about my emotional security?
1624
01:45:59,286 --> 01:46:02,813
Before I get out of your lives forever,
I'm going to give you one last lecture.
1625
01:46:02,889 --> 01:46:06,188
Robin, love isn't a mechanical arrangement
1626
01:46:06,259 --> 01:46:10,559
worked out over laundry tubs and ovens
and sharing bathrooms together.
1627
01:46:10,630 --> 01:46:13,690
The attitude of love
is to wish each other well.
1628
01:46:14,000 --> 01:46:17,993
To cook for him and darn his socks
and take care of him when he's sick
1629
01:46:18,071 --> 01:46:20,096
because you wish him well.
1630
01:46:20,807 --> 01:46:23,901
And for you, David, to work for her,
1631
01:46:24,177 --> 01:46:26,771
and forgive her when she's a boob,
1632
01:46:26,847 --> 01:46:30,544
to put up with all the makeup on your coat
and the car fenders she'll dent
1633
01:46:30,617 --> 01:46:34,747
and her moments of bad temper
because you wish her well.
1634
01:46:36,690 --> 01:46:40,683
Love doesn't suddenly drop from a tree
and stay with you forever.
1635
01:46:41,428 --> 01:46:45,762
Just like any other husband and wife,
you're going to have to create love
1636
01:46:45,832 --> 01:46:49,165
each and every day of your lives.
1637
01:46:49,236 --> 01:46:53,195
Now go on and get married
and start living together properly.
1638
01:46:53,874 --> 01:46:55,967
I love you, you silly puss!
1639
01:46:56,977 --> 01:46:59,946
And you take care of her or I'll brain you.
1640
01:47:14,528 --> 01:47:17,827
Irene. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
1641
01:47:17,898 --> 01:47:20,093
- I don't want to talk to you.
- Now, wait a minute. Come on.
1642
01:47:20,167 --> 01:47:21,998
- It's over.
- Are you mad?
1643
01:47:22,068 --> 01:47:23,558
- Out of my way, insect!
- Now wait.
1644
01:47:23,637 --> 01:47:25,070
Why did you come back last night?
1645
01:47:25,138 --> 01:47:26,765
- You're afraid to admit it.
- All right, all right.
1646
01:47:26,840 --> 01:47:30,367
I'll tell you what you're just dying to hear.
I might as well get it said once and for all.
1647
01:47:30,444 --> 01:47:34,141
I used to be in love with you,
you poor jackass!
1648
01:47:34,214 --> 01:47:36,205
- But you never told me.
- Why I felt love for you
1649
01:47:36,283 --> 01:47:37,807
I will never, never know.
1650
01:47:37,884 --> 01:47:40,682
You are a liar, a drunk, a lech,
1651
01:47:40,754 --> 01:47:44,588
and one of the most ridiculous men
I have ever met in my life!
1652
01:47:46,693 --> 01:47:47,921
The girl is mad about me.
1653
01:47:48,128 --> 01:47:50,562
Hey, Irene? Hey, are you all right?
1654
01:47:53,033 --> 01:47:54,694
Goodbye, sin bin.
1655
01:47:57,404 --> 01:47:59,031
- It's all over now, finally.
- Good.
1656
01:47:59,105 --> 01:48:01,266
Irene, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You can't walk out on me now.
1657
01:48:01,341 --> 01:48:03,605
She's the one woman
who ever cared enough to tell me off.
1658
01:48:03,677 --> 01:48:05,838
You should have heard
what she called me in there. Beautiful!
1659
01:48:05,912 --> 01:48:08,540
Cut me into little pieces
and ground me right into the dirt.
1660
01:48:08,615 --> 01:48:09,843
Well, something tells me you'll recover.
1661
01:48:09,916 --> 01:48:12,111
From this moment on,
you're going to see a brand new Hogan.
1662
01:48:12,185 --> 01:48:14,949
- I doubt if we'll be around.
- Work, work, work, Irene,
1663
01:48:15,021 --> 01:48:17,216
and we're going to do it together.
You and me.
1664
01:48:17,290 --> 01:48:19,053
- Bye, Hogan.
- Goodbye?
1665
01:48:19,125 --> 01:48:22,356
- You're finally out of my system.
- Work, work, work, Hogan.
1666
01:48:22,429 --> 01:48:24,420
But you can't leave me now. That's not fair.
1667
01:48:24,498 --> 01:48:26,227
It's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
1668
01:48:26,299 --> 01:48:27,493
- Goodbye, Hogan.
- What?
1669
01:48:27,567 --> 01:48:29,296
I'll be back for my things
after the honeymoon.
1670
01:48:29,369 --> 01:48:33,203
Yeah, goodbye, old pal. I bequeath to you
my barbells and my golf clubs.
1671
01:48:33,273 --> 01:48:34,535
Now, give my best to Plato.
1672
01:48:34,608 --> 01:48:36,303
- Yeah, well...
- Bye-bye.
1673
01:48:36,376 --> 01:48:40,073
- Ungrateful females, every one of them.
- Hold it. Here comes another one.
1674
01:48:40,146 --> 01:48:44,344
- What does that mean?
- Maybe this will give you the general idea.
1675
01:48:44,417 --> 01:48:46,942
Well, you, too? Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. We're like a team.
1676
01:48:47,020 --> 01:48:48,112
You're like my mother.
You wouldn't leave me.
1677
01:48:48,188 --> 01:48:52,318
Mother's left. Clean up your own mess
from now on. Come on, Murph.
1678
01:48:52,826 --> 01:48:54,987
I'm sorry, Mr. Hogan. It wasn't my idea.
1679
01:48:55,061 --> 01:48:57,825
Personally, you're aces with me,
and I sure admire the way you...
1680
01:48:57,898 --> 01:48:58,887
Murph!
1681
01:49:00,333 --> 01:49:02,893
I forgot my tools, honey.
I'll meet you at the bus stop.
1682
01:49:02,969 --> 01:49:04,937
- Come on.
- I'll miss you, ace.
1683
01:49:09,276 --> 01:49:12,643
All right, go ahead, walk out on me.
Every one of you.
1684
01:49:12,712 --> 01:49:14,577
Desert the sinking ship.
Well, fine, go ahead.
1685
01:49:14,648 --> 01:49:16,138
Who needs you?
I can get along without any of you.
1686
01:49:16,216 --> 01:49:18,275
I'm going to lead a life of celibacy.
1687
01:49:18,351 --> 01:49:20,615
I can get along without women.
1688
01:49:23,823 --> 01:49:25,450
Young man?
1689
01:49:25,892 --> 01:49:28,918
Are there premises available for rent here?
1690
01:49:29,229 --> 01:49:32,665
- From now on, I rent only to men.
- Well, you don't have to be rude.
1691
01:49:32,732 --> 01:49:35,166
I'll look elsewhere for my girls.
1692
01:49:39,873 --> 01:49:41,067
Girls?
1693
01:49:52,285 --> 01:49:54,219
Well, here we go again.
1694
01:49:55,455 --> 01:49:57,252
Hello, there, my name is Hogan.
1695
01:49:57,324 --> 01:50:00,384
Careful there. Careful now.
147779
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