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1
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:19,787
Don't scream.
2
00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,721
Okay, Zach.
3
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,123
I want to be with you.
4
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:24,841
I just...
5
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:26,755
I don't know.
6
00:00:28,134 --> 00:00:29,461
Cheryl...
7
00:00:29,959 --> 00:00:31,774
if you could just accept my love,
8
00:00:33,042 --> 00:00:36,668
we can stay together
through all of eternity.
9
00:00:38,682 --> 00:00:39,713
Okay, Zach.
10
00:00:40,977 --> 00:00:42,056
I love you.
11
00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:45,845
I want to be with you forever.
12
00:00:47,104 --> 00:00:48,318
So, it's time?
13
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,682
It's time.
14
00:00:55,729 --> 00:00:57,656
- "Vampire Creek" will return...
- Hey, uh,
15
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,096
what are you guys watching?
16
00:00:59,097 --> 00:01:00,403
"The Goddamn Asshole Show"?
17
00:01:00,404 --> 00:01:01,464
"Vampire Creek".
18
00:01:01,465 --> 00:01:04,209
It's a show about sexy teen vampires.
19
00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:05,914
- They live in a creek?
- No.
20
00:01:05,915 --> 00:01:07,453
It's the name of the town.
21
00:01:07,454 --> 00:01:08,088
Oh, no.
22
00:01:08,089 --> 00:01:10,296
You want to see a sexy vampire,
you gotta...
23
00:01:10,297 --> 00:01:13,041
you gotta watch those
Hammer Films with Ingrid Pitt.
24
00:01:13,042 --> 00:01:14,740
It's a British chick with good teeth
25
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,265
and a couple of horn-honkin' milk jugs.
26
00:01:17,266 --> 00:01:19,096
Oh, I got to tell ya.
27
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,948
- I found a can of peaches!
- What?
28
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:28,661
And now back to our programming.
29
00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:30,775
Y-Y-You guys... You guys stay there.
30
00:01:31,533 --> 00:01:32,479
I'll get it.
31
00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:37,832
Zach's a shapeshifter.
32
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:40,449
He can put his butt in the front.
33
00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:43,587
Can he turn his butt into a wolf?
34
00:01:43,588 --> 00:01:44,223
No.
35
00:01:45,055 --> 00:01:46,788
But his wiener becomes a tail.
36
00:01:47,282 --> 00:01:51,406
Oh, Zach, you dirty dog.
37
00:01:52,599 --> 00:01:54,987
- Yeah.
- Is, uh, Denise Miller home?
38
00:01:54,988 --> 00:01:57,123
Hold your horses. Denise!
39
00:01:57,124 --> 00:01:58,866
That won't be necessary. Here.
40
00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:02,593
Thank you too many.
41
00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:04,717
Uh...
42
00:02:05,244 --> 00:02:07,081
It's, uh, probably one of those things
43
00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:09,903
you ordered off the TV and forgot about.
44
00:02:09,905 --> 00:02:11,163
Maybe it's a monkey. You know what?
45
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:12,744
I'll tell... I'll t-tell you what it is.
46
00:02:12,745 --> 00:02:14,369
It's one of those necklaces that beeps
47
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:15,921
when you fall off the toilet.
48
00:02:15,922 --> 00:02:17,066
Not for nothing,
49
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:18,885
but how in the hell
do you fall off a toilet?
50
00:02:18,886 --> 00:02:21,512
It's shaped like a seat,
for the love of God.
51
00:02:21,513 --> 00:02:24,198
If Elvis had one of those,
he'd still be alive.
52
00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:27,203
Still be alive and big
as a house with a neck...
53
00:02:27,626 --> 00:02:29,352
Aah!
54
00:02:29,353 --> 00:02:30,710
"Congratulations, Denise Miller."
55
00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:33,311
You've won the 'Vampire Creek'
Slash Fiction competition
56
00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:35,042
with your story 'Chad The Impaler'!
57
00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:37,569
We want to reward you
with this prop from the show"!
58
00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:39,875
Slash fiction? Denise, wow.
59
00:02:39,876 --> 00:02:41,779
It's when you write a story
about your favorite show,
60
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:43,736
like "Star Trek",
but Kirk and Spock are gay
61
00:02:43,738 --> 00:02:46,223
or "Gilmore Girls", but
they're guys and they're gay,
62
00:02:46,224 --> 00:02:49,141
or "Stranger Things",
but it's a movie set in the '90s
63
00:02:49,143 --> 00:02:50,907
- and they're...
- Yeah, I get... I get it.
64
00:02:50,908 --> 00:02:52,940
It's my second favorite hobby.
65
00:02:52,941 --> 00:02:53,886
My first is...
66
00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:55,709
We should open it!
67
00:02:55,811 --> 00:02:57,028
I wonder what it is.
68
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,962
A mirror from Zach's house!
69
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:28,061
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
70
00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:31,184
And you think they're slobs
when they're alive.
71
00:03:31,618 --> 00:03:32,995
Kevin! Kevin!
72
00:03:33,455 --> 00:03:34,490
I won!
73
00:03:34,491 --> 00:03:36,286
My story, "Chad The Impaler",
74
00:03:36,287 --> 00:03:38,791
won the Vampire Creek
Slash Fiction competition.
75
00:03:38,793 --> 00:03:40,794
What are you doing tonight?
76
00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:42,686
Oh, uh, tonight?
77
00:03:42,687 --> 00:03:44,535
I-I can't tonight.
Let's celebrate tomorrow night!
78
00:03:44,536 --> 00:03:46,253
No, I want to celebrate tonight.
79
00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:48,430
I'm sorry, Denise. I have a class.
80
00:03:48,431 --> 00:03:49,952
A what?
81
00:03:49,953 --> 00:03:52,297
Do you think all I want to do
with my life is dig graves?
82
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,319
I mean, I don't want to brag,
83
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,207
but I always thought
that if I applied myself,
84
00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:57,400
that I could one day, you know...
85
00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,129
What?
86
00:03:59,516 --> 00:04:00,877
Dig swimming pools.
87
00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:03,304
Okay, you can miss one class.
88
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,270
Why don't you tell an astronaut
to miss one class?
89
00:04:07,356 --> 00:04:08,382
Or an assassin.
90
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:10,924
Or one of those guys
that helps pandas have sex.
91
00:04:10,926 --> 00:04:13,699
They have a very low libido
'cause all they eat is bamboo.
92
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:14,333
Kevin.
93
00:04:15,141 --> 00:04:16,398
What am I to you?
94
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:19,112
Am I the real deal,
or am I just some side piece?
95
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:21,718
- What's a side piece?
- I don't know,
96
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,466
but they say it a lot
on "Vampire Creek",
97
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:24,842
and I know it's not good.
98
00:04:24,843 --> 00:04:26,468
But it also makes me think of chicken,
99
00:04:26,469 --> 00:04:27,435
and now I'm hungry.
100
00:04:27,436 --> 00:04:29,456
Later, hater!
101
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:38,483
Male sex symbol. Seven letters.
102
00:04:38,484 --> 00:04:39,567
Jack.
103
00:04:40,756 --> 00:04:41,377
Oh.
104
00:04:41,378 --> 00:04:42,382
Klugman.
105
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:44,834
Rascal.
106
00:04:46,050 --> 00:04:49,308
Dad, I am so upset with Kevin.
107
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:51,501
Prostate flare.
108
00:04:52,421 --> 00:04:53,400
Got to go.
109
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,137
I just wish things were as romantic
110
00:04:58,139 --> 00:05:00,611
as they are on "Vampire Creek".
111
00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:01,762
Denise.
112
00:05:01,763 --> 00:05:04,618
Or that cooking show, "One-Armed Chef."
113
00:05:04,619 --> 00:05:05,864
Denise!
114
00:05:05,865 --> 00:05:08,815
If I was dating a guy with one arm,
115
00:05:08,817 --> 00:05:10,585
he wouldn't be digging all the time.
116
00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:11,710
Hello!
117
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:13,612
- Yes, thank you.
- Oh. Huh?
118
00:05:14,809 --> 00:05:16,809
Denise.
119
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:24,848
What?!
120
00:05:24,849 --> 00:05:25,929
Whoa.
121
00:05:27,132 --> 00:05:28,835
Denise!
122
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,521
You're finally here.
123
00:05:32,738 --> 00:05:34,166
Is this Vampire Creek?
124
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,058
Yes, Denise.
125
00:05:36,168 --> 00:05:37,590
I am in love with you.
126
00:05:37,591 --> 00:05:40,112
Oh, but TV shows aren't real.
127
00:05:40,114 --> 00:05:41,890
Anything is possible with love.
128
00:05:41,891 --> 00:05:43,239
- Is this a dream?
- Don't speak.
129
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:44,187
Okay. I can't.
130
00:05:44,188 --> 00:05:46,025
Everything you've ever wanted
131
00:05:46,026 --> 00:05:47,535
is in this world.
132
00:05:47,922 --> 00:05:49,742
- Cats dressed as Munchkins!
- Sure.
133
00:05:49,743 --> 00:05:51,825
- Munchkins dressed as cats!
- Yeah, okay, fine.
134
00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:53,793
- Giraffes with tap...
- Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise.
135
00:05:53,795 --> 00:05:55,874
There is a reason I brought you here.
136
00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:58,183
In the world of the Nosferatu,
137
00:05:58,184 --> 00:05:59,464
there is one night
138
00:05:59,465 --> 00:06:02,117
that towers above all other nights.
139
00:06:02,849 --> 00:06:05,050
The junior prom of
Vampire Creek High School.
140
00:06:05,051 --> 00:06:06,410
And I want you to go with me.
141
00:06:06,411 --> 00:06:10,035
I want to go to vampire prom.
142
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,234
But to go,
143
00:06:11,816 --> 00:06:13,554
you have to become one of us.
144
00:06:14,349 --> 00:06:17,823
I am not becoming a boy to go to prom.
145
00:06:17,824 --> 00:06:18,760
No.
146
00:06:18,761 --> 00:06:20,230
I meant a vampire.
147
00:06:20,231 --> 00:06:22,655
Just let me bite you,
148
00:06:22,657 --> 00:06:25,224
and you can stay here with me forever.
149
00:06:25,226 --> 00:06:27,457
If I become a vampire,
can I eat Pop-Tarts?
150
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,155
No.
151
00:06:28,863 --> 00:06:31,756
Can I go home and visit my dad
and all my friends?
152
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:32,442
No!
153
00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:34,126
But you won't want to,
154
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,774
to watch them age and die
155
00:06:35,775 --> 00:06:37,675
as you live on through the eons.
156
00:06:38,239 --> 00:06:39,723
- And no Pop-Tarts.
- No.
157
00:06:40,124 --> 00:06:42,467
I know this is a difficult
decision to make,
158
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,838
but keep in mind,
we have a pretty good chance
159
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,180
of being voted cutest couple
in the yearbook.
160
00:06:47,182 --> 00:06:50,182
Is there any way I could, like, have a
161
00:06:50,184 --> 00:06:52,735
A trial period? Figure it out?
162
00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:55,562
I can give you some time to decide,
163
00:06:55,563 --> 00:06:57,191
but once you commit to me,
164
00:06:57,592 --> 00:06:59,573
the only way you can leave this world
165
00:06:59,574 --> 00:07:00,764
is through death!
166
00:07:00,765 --> 00:07:02,225
- Oh.
- We cool?
167
00:07:02,515 --> 00:07:04,067
- Yeah, totes.
- All right.
168
00:07:04,068 --> 00:07:06,829
Remember, I am immortal,
but, uh, ticktock.
169
00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,426
I knew it.
170
00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:38,164
32 years old and she thinks
she can stay out all night.
171
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,100
Kids these days.
172
00:07:40,102 --> 00:07:41,646
No wonder we can't win a war.
173
00:07:45,419 --> 00:07:46,955
Aah! Aah.
174
00:07:47,976 --> 00:07:49,241
Stan, it...
175
00:07:49,243 --> 00:07:50,676
I-it's 5:00 in the morning.
What are you doing here?
176
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:53,512
Kev-o, you just started
seeing Denise this week, right?
177
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,448
Well, it comes down
to your definition...
178
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:57,917
Don't you think it's
a little early for sleepovers?
179
00:07:57,919 --> 00:07:58,917
Certainly do.
180
00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:00,589
- Let me talk to her.
- Oh, she's not here.
181
00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:02,689
- Go get Denise.
- No, really, she's not here.
182
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,590
Y-You're welcome to come in and look.
183
00:08:07,329 --> 00:08:11,262
Kev-o, you and I have been
amigos for quite a while.
184
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:12,959
So, be honest with me.
185
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,939
- Did you murder my daughter?
- No!
186
00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,975
- You buried her alive?
- No!
187
00:08:16,976 --> 00:08:17,886
- Ya drowned her?
- No.
188
00:08:17,887 --> 00:08:19,519
- Where'd ya do it? Winnipesaukee?
- No.
189
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,178
- Squam?
- No.
190
00:08:20,178 --> 00:08:21,124
- Kancamagus?
- No.
191
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,268
Guilty men would say "no."
192
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,674
Then I did do it!
193
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:24,543
No!
194
00:08:25,326 --> 00:08:27,299
I don't know what your game is,
195
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:30,076
but I'm going to play along
because, Kev,
196
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:32,299
I'm global.
197
00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:48,367
And no cryin'!
198
00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:50,569
I'm not crying. You're crying!
199
00:08:53,642 --> 00:08:57,377
Oh, this house looks
just like it does on TV.
200
00:08:57,379 --> 00:09:00,980
Oh, it's so cool.
201
00:09:00,981 --> 00:09:02,447
Wow.
202
00:09:03,975 --> 00:09:06,052
- Aah!
- Hey!
203
00:09:06,054 --> 00:09:07,253
So
204
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,721
You given any more thought
to what we talked about?
205
00:09:10,782 --> 00:09:12,423
I know this isn't real,
206
00:09:12,424 --> 00:09:13,927
and I-I know this is a dream.
207
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,289
I-I know everything, okay? It's just...
208
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,301
I don't know.
209
00:09:17,302 --> 00:09:18,338
But it's so perfect.
210
00:09:18,339 --> 00:09:19,926
You will get to live here forever,
211
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,016
and I really need to feed now anyways.
212
00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:25,138
Ah! Aah! It's just a really
big commitment, Zach.
213
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:25,858
I-I'm just not ready!
214
00:09:25,859 --> 00:09:27,052
I know, but...
215
00:09:27,293 --> 00:09:30,428
Is there any other way I can help?
216
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,369
Stan! I'm here!
217
00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:42,088
I came as soon as I could.
218
00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,148
Where'd you last see her?
219
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,756
Right here in this room
in front of that mirror.
220
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,486
Oh, is that the mirror
she won the other night?
221
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:49,128
Yeah.
222
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,079
From that show where
all the guys shave their chests.
223
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,431
And what is that about?
224
00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:54,386
You don't see Sean Connery
shave his chest.
225
00:09:54,387 --> 00:09:57,303
That guy had a front
like a baboon's back.
226
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,737
Okay, it's because they're vampires
227
00:09:58,739 --> 00:09:59,906
and they want to date teenage girls,
228
00:09:59,908 --> 00:10:01,840
so even though
they're hundreds of years old,
229
00:10:01,842 --> 00:10:02,658
they do...
230
00:10:02,659 --> 00:10:04,977
Shave their... When
you say it out loud, I mean...
231
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,513
Ah.
232
00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:10,238
I-It's a show about feelings.
233
00:10:11,981 --> 00:10:13,538
- Yeah?
- Stan, it's Kevin.
234
00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:15,038
I dig graves down at the cemetery.
235
00:10:15,039 --> 00:10:17,204
- I know who you are, Kev-o.
- Right. Okay.
236
00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:17,941
After you left,
237
00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:20,505
I went and checked out
all of Denise's old haunts...
238
00:10:20,506 --> 00:10:21,995
the abandoned car wash,
239
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,333
that big pile of wigs behind the church,
240
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:25,732
the false teeth museum,
241
00:10:25,734 --> 00:10:28,601
the funeral home that's only
for circus people...
242
00:10:28,603 --> 00:10:30,536
Evie.
243
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:34,844
That building with no windows
244
00:10:34,845 --> 00:10:36,409
where they make old people sew,
245
00:10:36,411 --> 00:10:38,452
the record shop
that became a video rental
246
00:10:38,453 --> 00:10:40,413
that's now a phone store that's closing,
247
00:10:40,415 --> 00:10:42,882
that bridge that
the goats are afraid of...
248
00:10:42,884 --> 00:10:45,084
Evie.
249
00:10:45,085 --> 00:10:46,488
Evie.
250
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:51,858
That homeless guy who has
a house he just won't go in.
251
00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:54,645
Hello?
252
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,696
Hang on to your hat.
The phone store's clos...
253
00:10:59,611 --> 00:11:01,254
Oh, hell, not again.
254
00:11:07,108 --> 00:11:10,385
Lookin' good, Crazy Ray. Lookin' good.
255
00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:13,912
Okay, you kill a hobo,
and I'll drink his blood.
256
00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:16,395
Zach, why can't you do this again?
257
00:11:16,396 --> 00:11:17,717
If I'm seen killing a hobo,
258
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,384
I'm gonna be linked
to all the other murders,
259
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:20,920
and I'll be kicked off the yearbook.
260
00:11:20,922 --> 00:11:22,254
Please.
261
00:11:23,251 --> 00:11:25,324
Okay, Denise, you can do this.
262
00:11:33,634 --> 00:11:35,691
Denise! What are you doing?!
263
00:11:36,204 --> 00:11:39,030
Killing a hobo with a hammer!
What are you doing?!
264
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,829
Stopping you, for one.
265
00:11:41,661 --> 00:11:43,676
It's okay. This isn't real.
266
00:11:44,054 --> 00:11:46,467
It's a dream, and now you're in it!
267
00:11:46,981 --> 00:11:48,480
Denise, this is not a dream.
268
00:11:48,482 --> 00:11:50,282
This is some kind of tailored reality,
269
00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:52,297
and we got to find a way
to get out of here.
270
00:11:52,298 --> 00:11:54,887
Ah! Aah!
271
00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:55,540
Aah!
272
00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:57,023
Ah! Found a can of peaches!
273
00:11:57,025 --> 00:11:59,124
I found a can of peaches!
274
00:12:05,018 --> 00:12:05,498
Hello?
275
00:12:05,499 --> 00:12:07,515
Leon, Denise and Evie are missing.
276
00:12:07,516 --> 00:12:08,660
You better get over here.
277
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:09,699
On my way!
278
00:12:17,575 --> 00:12:18,840
Buckets.
279
00:12:25,741 --> 00:12:28,105
Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
280
00:12:30,108 --> 00:12:31,632
Rise, my child.
281
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,822
- Aah!
- Depeche Mode.
282
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:37,937
Aah!
283
00:12:37,938 --> 00:12:39,367
Why did you bring Denise and me here?
284
00:12:39,368 --> 00:12:41,181
You're not even supposed to be here.
285
00:12:41,182 --> 00:12:43,081
This world was made for Denise.
She was chosen.
286
00:12:43,082 --> 00:12:44,937
Why wasn't I chosen?
287
00:12:44,939 --> 00:12:46,034
It's not about you.
288
00:12:46,035 --> 00:12:47,202
Then why did you bite me?!
289
00:12:47,203 --> 00:12:49,918
I wanted to bite Denise,
but it has to be her choice.
290
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:51,220
Ugh!
291
00:12:51,319 --> 00:12:52,452
Ow!
292
00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:55,381
How do I get outta here?
293
00:12:55,382 --> 00:12:56,366
Oh, that's easy.
294
00:12:57,018 --> 00:12:58,936
Denise just has to kill you.
295
00:12:59,565 --> 00:13:00,250
Oh!
296
00:13:01,294 --> 00:13:02,037
Peachy.
297
00:13:03,413 --> 00:13:04,797
Ow! Cut my tongue.
298
00:13:05,426 --> 00:13:06,919
So hungry.
299
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,247
Oh, a fridge full of blood.
300
00:13:11,966 --> 00:13:13,207
Zach is back.
301
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:14,730
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you, my love?
302
00:13:14,731 --> 00:13:15,400
Yes.
303
00:13:16,059 --> 00:13:19,594
Okay, Zach, we don't always
have to be touching.
304
00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:23,042
What? But how is everybody gonna
know that we're dating, baby?
305
00:13:23,044 --> 00:13:24,761
There's no one here.
306
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,396
- Uh, I'm here.
- Not that anyone cares.
307
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,680
- Zach, I need a little space, okay?
- Oh.
308
00:13:30,681 --> 00:13:32,918
- Do you want to go do that together?
- No!
309
00:13:34,388 --> 00:13:35,788
Zach is confused.
310
00:13:39,921 --> 00:13:41,917
I miss Kevin.
311
00:13:41,918 --> 00:13:42,566
Oh.
312
00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:45,464
Oh, so you have two boyfriends now?
313
00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:46,559
Aah!
314
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,146
Must be nice to be you.
315
00:13:51,672 --> 00:13:53,272
I'd kill for a ham.
316
00:13:55,307 --> 00:13:57,877
Like I said, the last time
I saw either one of them
317
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,824
was... was right here on this spot
318
00:13:59,825 --> 00:14:01,123
in front of that mirror.
319
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,349
Chew on that for a second, Leon.
320
00:14:03,351 --> 00:14:05,250
And I'm gonna go get a beer.
321
00:14:06,353 --> 00:14:07,919
Leon.
322
00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:11,090
What?
323
00:14:11,092 --> 00:14:13,038
What are you reading?
324
00:14:13,494 --> 00:14:15,610
A magazine.
325
00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:17,396
Oh, my gosh. That's so cool.
326
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:18,705
Can I see it?
327
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:20,124
Yes.
328
00:14:20,768 --> 00:14:21,839
Bring it over.
329
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,080
I don't have my glasses on.
330
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:27,089
There you go.
331
00:14:30,898 --> 00:14:32,778
Did you know that mirror can talk?
332
00:14:32,779 --> 00:14:34,548
It keeps saying my name.
333
00:14:34,549 --> 00:14:35,628
It's a shame Denise left
334
00:14:35,629 --> 00:14:37,871
before she knew she had a magic mirror.
335
00:14:38,686 --> 00:14:39,567
Oh.
336
00:14:50,642 --> 00:14:51,486
Okay.
337
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:52,858
Oh.
338
00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:00,419
Hey, hey, hey. Slow down.
You just turned.
339
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,795
I think I know what I'm doing, okay?
340
00:15:08,349 --> 00:15:09,113
Whew!
341
00:15:09,114 --> 00:15:10,277
Hachi Machi.
342
00:15:11,218 --> 00:15:12,417
Ahh.
343
00:15:12,419 --> 00:15:14,419
All right, Leon, listen carefully.
344
00:15:14,421 --> 00:15:15,684
I'm going in that mirror.
345
00:15:15,685 --> 00:15:18,090
I want you to hang on to...
to that end of the rope,
346
00:15:18,092 --> 00:15:19,391
and don't let go.
347
00:15:19,393 --> 00:15:20,244
You got it?
348
00:15:20,245 --> 00:15:22,180
- I won't let you down.
- All right.
349
00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:24,529
There you go, pal.
350
00:15:29,784 --> 00:15:31,203
No!
351
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:33,114
Jackass.
352
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:34,386
Eh.
353
00:15:37,597 --> 00:15:38,515
Stan?!
354
00:15:44,079 --> 00:15:45,632
Evie, slow down.
355
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:52,299
Hey!
356
00:15:53,139 --> 00:15:54,113
You're cute.
357
00:15:54,419 --> 00:15:55,515
What's your name?
358
00:15:55,516 --> 00:15:56,449
Uh-oh.
359
00:15:56,450 --> 00:15:57,538
Bartholomew.
360
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,044
King of the Southern Realm.
361
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,082
Well, Bart...
362
00:16:01,202 --> 00:16:03,777
your name rhymes with "fart".
363
00:16:04,939 --> 00:16:06,073
Deal with it.
364
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,583
- Hello?
- Stan.
365
00:16:14,795 --> 00:16:15,927
No, this is Leon.
366
00:16:16,071 --> 00:16:17,814
Leon, what are you doing there?
367
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,795
You're not dating Stan, are you?
368
00:16:19,796 --> 00:16:22,657
No! I'm talking to the magic
mirror that ate Denise.
369
00:16:22,658 --> 00:16:24,156
Oh, good.
370
00:16:24,158 --> 00:16:25,911
Because if you were dating Stan...
371
00:16:25,912 --> 00:16:27,333
The magic mirror?!
372
00:16:27,961 --> 00:16:29,962
What the hell is this?
373
00:16:30,606 --> 00:16:32,932
Why is everybody dressed like a pirate?
374
00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:35,328
Evie? What the hell happened to you?
375
00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:36,549
Stan!
376
00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:38,771
Oh, Stan.
377
00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:40,689
I'm so happy to see you!
378
00:16:41,108 --> 00:16:44,657
You know, earlier tonight,
I met a guy named Fart.
379
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:46,432
Woman, have you seen yourself?
380
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:47,159
Oh, no, I can't.
381
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,083
I don't have a reflection anymore.
382
00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:52,518
But seriously, who would
name their baby Fart?
383
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,078
Oh!
384
00:16:54,192 --> 00:16:56,126
Yeah!
385
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,763
Bye-bye, Stan.
386
00:16:59,022 --> 00:17:00,106
Oh, my God.
387
00:17:01,171 --> 00:17:03,180
Bats are just hang-gliding mice.
388
00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:05,188
I better tell Fart.
389
00:17:05,867 --> 00:17:08,467
All right, you hang on
to this end of the rope.
390
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,268
I'm going through the mirror.
391
00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:11,750
- You good?
- Got it.
392
00:17:11,888 --> 00:17:12,985
Let's do it!
393
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:15,374
Wait! You might want to...
394
00:17:20,814 --> 00:17:21,625
Oh, shit.
395
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:23,275
Oh, poop.
396
00:17:30,362 --> 00:17:31,142
Mm.
397
00:17:38,043 --> 00:17:39,376
Ew!
398
00:17:39,378 --> 00:17:40,636
Ohh.
399
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,148
I'm okay!
400
00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:46,583
Nope.
401
00:17:47,823 --> 00:17:49,436
Don't be mad at me!
402
00:17:50,934 --> 00:17:51,879
Everyone?
403
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,346
Excuse me, if I can get
your attention, please.
404
00:17:54,347 --> 00:17:58,256
It is time to announce prom royalty!
405
00:17:59,499 --> 00:18:01,119
Our beautiful prom queen...
406
00:18:02,579 --> 00:18:04,424
D-D-D-Denise!
407
00:18:04,425 --> 00:18:05,983
What?
408
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,451
It's me.
409
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,589
Huh?
410
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,783
Time to decide, Denise.
411
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,204
Want to stay here?
412
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:29,055
- Denise, join us.
- Join us.
413
00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:30,659
The floor is nice.
414
00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:33,981
Denise!
415
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:35,132
Denise, it's me!
416
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,203
Kevin?
417
00:18:37,504 --> 00:18:38,971
It's me... Kevin!
418
00:18:40,497 --> 00:18:42,598
- Hi.
- I dig graves in the cemetery!
419
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:45,107
I-I hear you. I-I-I see your face.
420
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:49,166
Denise!
421
00:18:51,395 --> 00:18:53,806
Denise, come home.
422
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:56,705
I was afraid.
423
00:18:56,706 --> 00:18:57,797
Of what?
424
00:18:58,063 --> 00:18:59,626
I-I was afraid
425
00:18:59,627 --> 00:19:00,815
you'd get to know me
426
00:19:01,593 --> 00:19:02,998
and think I was gross.
427
00:19:02,999 --> 00:19:03,811
No!
428
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:05,984
- Well...
- Doesn't matter.
429
00:19:05,985 --> 00:19:08,347
You can't stay here. This is a fantasy.
430
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,549
This whole thing is something
you want to be real,
431
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,600
and it's not.
432
00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:15,422
Like... Like guardian angels
or... or the Hulk.
433
00:19:15,423 --> 00:19:19,025
Ow! No!
434
00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:21,023
Ohh!
435
00:19:21,024 --> 00:19:22,866
Oh, that hurts!
436
00:19:22,867 --> 00:19:24,061
Yeah.
437
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,708
It's like stepping on a nail,
438
00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:27,101
but with your neck.
439
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,090
All right, Zach,
440
00:19:32,091 --> 00:19:34,718
I will let you turn me into a vampire.
441
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,893
But please let my friends go.
442
00:19:36,894 --> 00:19:39,780
The only way your friends can
leave is if you kill them.
443
00:19:40,478 --> 00:19:43,668
Kill them as in they'll be... dead?
444
00:19:43,902 --> 00:19:46,054
That's the only way they can go back.
445
00:19:52,488 --> 00:19:55,358
Okay.
446
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,751
Kevin, I really, really
liked what you had to say.
447
00:19:59,752 --> 00:20:01,800
Thanks.
448
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,833
Ohh!
449
00:20:04,773 --> 00:20:07,450
Ohh!
450
00:20:07,451 --> 00:20:09,114
Evie, I'm really sorry,
451
00:20:09,115 --> 00:20:11,374
but I'm gonna have to stab you
through the heart
452
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,776
with this table leg.
453
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,088
Oh, that's okay. Just don't move me.
454
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,141
Okay.
455
00:20:16,142 --> 00:20:19,021
5, 6, 7, 8.
456
00:20:22,426 --> 00:20:23,981
You ever found yourself
on the back of a Harley
457
00:20:23,982 --> 00:20:26,043
at sunrise in Kennebunkport?
458
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,473
No, no.
459
00:20:29,474 --> 00:20:33,106
Now, don't you go turning me
into a sparkling pile of lady dust.
460
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:37,727
Dad, I think I'm gonna enjoy
killing you most of all.
461
00:20:37,728 --> 00:20:38,754
No, no.
462
00:20:38,755 --> 00:20:42,271
No! Ohh!
463
00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:44,191
Aah!
464
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:51,454
It's time, Denise.
465
00:20:51,455 --> 00:20:53,757
This world was made for you.
466
00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:55,520
I know. That's the problem.
467
00:20:56,686 --> 00:21:00,947
Aah! Ohh, you can't kill Zach!
468
00:21:00,948 --> 00:21:03,585
Obviously, you can.
I'm just being dramatic.
469
00:21:07,949 --> 00:21:10,100
Still the queen, though, right?
470
00:21:12,849 --> 00:21:13,696
Yeah!
471
00:21:15,914 --> 00:21:17,032
Is everyone okay?
472
00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:19,022
This never happened.
473
00:21:19,664 --> 00:21:21,644
Is everybody understood on that?
474
00:21:22,398 --> 00:21:23,572
Uh-huh.
475
00:21:25,091 --> 00:21:26,891
So, my plan worked.
476
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:33,089
Bye, nerds.
31263
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