Original subtitles

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: We left Jane facing rejection.

I'm sorry. It's too late.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: While Jane's love life was sinking,

her career was on the rise.

I'm a published freaking author!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: She started working with her father.

What if our young lead's story is in present day

and you and River are living in the future?

In outer space. [GASPS]

We can call it This Is Mars.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Speaking of crazy plot twists,

someone was out to get J.R.

Get down! Gun! What? What?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It turns out trouble was a little closer to home.

Oh, my God. It was my daughters?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Petra and J.R.

decided to work through it.

Let me show the girls I am not a bad guy.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Also giving things another shot, Jorge and Alba.

I know. Straight out of a telenovela, right?

So let's get back to ours.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva

was 11 years, nine months and two weeks old,

she was determined to win

a statewide essay writing contest.

You see, she wanted the recognition, the glory,

and to get her picture in the newspaper.

And, well, she got it all.

We are so proud of you, Janie.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But it turns out, that wasn't all Jane wanted.

Why did you throw the paper out?

I didn't even care about the contest.

What?

I thought if I got my picture in the paper,

maybe my dad would want to meet me.

But it's been a month, so...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes, friends, she wanted her father.

And, boy, did she find him.

I know. Now they're even wearing coordinating outfits.

Not her idea.

And now, Jane will blast us off

into the pilot story of This Is Mars.

[♪♪♪]

Okay.

Okay. Uh, so, just like This Is Us,

our show will straddle two timelines, only one timeline

takes place 200 years in the future.

Ahem. A dys-- A dystopian future,

where humankind's only hope for survival

depends on colonizing Mars.

And there's only one man and one woman for the job.

And one Mars year later, or 1.88 Earth years later,

Steve becomes the first president of the new colony.

The show will explore the mystery

of how Earth became uninhabitable.

And how did Steve get that tail? Ha.

At its heart, this is a love story.

And Steve and Brenda's love,

which spans decades and traverses planets,

is the strongest gravity in the universe.

And that is This Is Mars.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, no. What happened?

BOTH: We sold it!

[♪♪♪]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Ooh, ooh. Aah! Ooh, ooh. Ha, ha!

I'm proud of you!

[IN SPANISH] I never had a doubt!

We would've been here 30 minutes ago,

but Dad made me learn that dance.

[BOTH GRUNT]

[♪♪♪]

XIOMARA: I'm so proud of you.

You stuck with your dream, and you did it.

Jane did it.

I'm just lucky I get to say

my amazingly talented writer-daughter's lines.

[CHUCKLES]

What's wrong, amazingly talented writer-daughter?

Nothing. I-I just wanted to call Rafael and tell him,

and I remembered I can't.

Anyway, it'll get easier with time,

and some space.

But the pitch was just step one.

Yes, yes. We still have to get River onboard.

She's going to love it.

[IN SPANISH] Speaking of love...

I want to take advantage of this joyful moment,

with the whole family together...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: This is it, people.

Third time's a charm.

Oh!

Alba Gloriana Villanueva,

will you marry me?

For real this time? In front of God?

[LAUGHING] Yes, yes, yes!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, one for every time he asked.

JANE: Yay!

Your love story may not traverse planets,

but it sends our hearts soaring to the moon.

LUISA: Do you feel the vibrations?

RAFAEL: Yeah.

Yeah, it's good now.

It's all saged and vibrating.

[SIGHS] Great. And have you been using the crystals

to set your intentions? Because they can really,

really give you what you need energetically.

Yeah. Totally.

You think this is all crazy, right?

Yeah. Totally.

[GROANS] [CHUCKLES]

But, still, I appreciate your intentions.

Mm, well, I just--

I know how hard this breakup with Jane has been,

and I... I wanted to help.

I'm feeling better,

and it's been really nice to have you through it.

And I also thought about your question some more.

And...

[♪♪♪]

I am ready for you to meet my kids.

Uh, hold on.

It's not just my call.

I still have to talk to Jane and Petra.

The girls are really warming up to you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, wow, that was fast.

Oh. My mistake.

Great. I mean, 'cause it's definitely

the most tickling, skipping, pillow fighting

I've done in my life. [CHUCKLES]

Well, their therapist thinks it's working, so...

Are you ready for the next phase?

Alone time with them?

Well, don't say it like you're in a horror movie.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I mean...

BOTH: Come play with us.

You can keep it simple.

Just...take 'em down to the lounge for ice cream.

I can do ice cream.

[BOTH LAUGH] [PHONE CHIMES]

Ah, it's my mentor.

Did the bar association get her recommendation?

Yeah. And they refused to reinstate my license.

[♪♪♪]

I mean, I knew--

[CHUCKLES] It was a long shot.

It's fine. I'm fine.

JANE: But despite all the obstacles,

these two were destined to be together.

Because at its heart, it's a love story.

And Steve and Brenda's love, which spans decades

and traverses planets,

is the strongest gravity in the universe.

And that is This Is Mars.

[♪♪♪]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Does she like it? Is she in?

This is torture.

[SIGHS]

I love it.

[BOTH SIGH]

Seriously, what can I say?

It's...it's out of this world.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Perfect, perfect.

So once you sign the contract,

Jane will dive in and start writing the script.

You know, I do have one note.

Yeah. Of course, yeah.

I want someone else to write it.

What?

But it was Jane's idea. And she is my daughter.

Exactly. My nephew shot a YouTube video

of his friends rollerblading.

Do I bring him in to direct?

I'm not signing on to the project

as long as Jane is the writer. No offense.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Offense taken!

[♪♪♪]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You may recall, when we last saw

our father-daughter duo, a River ran through them.

She's not a River.

She's a swamp. She's worse than a swamp.

She's a bog!

Dad, she makes a valid point.

I've written one episode of television.

A Paloma-nominated episode.

Still, I'm...I'm a novelist, not a screenwriter.

I-I'll just bow out so you can bring in someone

with more telenovela experience.

Absolutely not.

This whole thing was your stroke of genius.

When River sees your pages, your talent will be undeniable.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: No pressure, Jane.

And speaking of pressure...

It's your lucky day.

We're all gonna make our own sundaes. What do you think?

[♪♪♪]

Hey, you took all the organic strawberries.

Give it to me. RAMOS: Girls...

Hey! You snooze, you lose! RAMOS: Put that down.

I'm not eating that cheap, gross stuff.

Gimme yours. RAMOS: Girls, stop it!

No! Ellie, no. Oh!

Please pick up-- Ladies-- Girls, stop, stop, stop.

Hey, enough!

Clean this up right now and stop being such spoiled brats!

Hey, you ready? It's starting.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

[♪♪♪]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, it's an engagement party

for Alba and Jorge.

RAFAEL: Hey, what's all this?

[♪♪♪]

[IN SPANISH] Jorge and I are getting married...

Really married this time!

Oh, congratulations, Alba.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So much for space.

What are you doing here?

Um, I was looking for you,

actually.

Do you have a minute to talk?

Sure, yeah. What's up?

Well, I know things have been a little rocky

between us lately... but I need a favor.

Anything.

I would really like to introduce

Mateo to my sister.

[♪♪♪]

Oh.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Jane's very sure how she feels about that.

Luisa has been my rock over these past few weeks.

She's changed.

This isn't the first time Luisa claimed to have changed.

And then, one look from Rose, and--

I know, I know.

But it...just feels different this time.

I feel it.

Look, she's the only family I have,

and it would mean the world to me

if she could meet my son.

Can you give me a day to think about it?

Of course.

[♪♪♪]

JANE: I wanna say yes.

I-I mean, Rafael seemed convinced Luisa's changed.

[IN SPANISH] But?

But I don't know if I'd be agreeing to it

because I believe it too, or if I'm secretly hoping

Rafael will be so grateful that he'll realize

he made a mistake and fall back in love.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'm guessing the latter.

My love...

For now, why don't you just focus on Mateo?

Hmm?

And think about what would be best for him.

XIOMARA: Agreed.

So you good?

Oh, well, not great.

Good enough. Come on, guys.

We're starting the wedding meeting.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS] ROGELIO: Your very own binder.

I couldn't be more proud.

What--? Did you use my label maker?

I certainly did, because I'm in charge of planning.

Ma, since your first wedding got cut short,

I wanna go all-out.

Make sure this wedding is perfect.

So I called the monsignor and booked

the next available slot for a wedding mass.

Which is three months from now.

Three months? Oh. I-I know. It's soon.

But I've got nothing but time on my hands.

We can get this done.

Rogelio, you need to book your glam squad ASAP.

Mateo, you'll be the ring bearer.

And, Jane, you go write

so you can help us when you're done with the novela.

On it. Dad, did you bring the extra scripts?

Yes. Oh.

Some of the best pilots I've collected over the years.

Use them as a guide.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us here...now.

How's it going?

Great.

I feel good. I just have to make sure

that I hit the five key structural elements.

Each character has to have drive...

something they desperately want.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Like winning over River?

Then an obstacle to getting it.

The characters need to overcome that

but get thwarted by a massive complication

which sets them back.

Then the resolution when they finally get what they want.

And, of course, we end with the cliffhanger no one saw coming.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Sounds about right.

Okay. Now go.

I'm gonna dive in so I can get River these scenes ASAP.

Great. [CHUCKLES]

Ay.

Mm-hmm.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Huh. What's Rogelio doing

with Jane's book editor's phone number?

Could that be our...?

And speaking of obstacles...

Why didn't you tell me?

[SIGHS]

I knew other Jane was gonna tattle.

That girl is so predictable.

Look, I know I shouldn't have

yelled at the girls and called them spoiled brats.

I meant you borrowed my favorite jacket

and spilled wine on it.

I totally forgot about that.

I was gonna take it to the cleaner yest--

Forget that. You yelled at my girls?

They were being awful.

They're in therapy. They're trying.

And you're supposed to be gaining their trust,

not traumatizing them even more.

They were throwing ice cream everywhere

and refusing to clean up after themselves.

What was I supposed to do, just sit there and watch?

That would have been better than yelling.

You weren't there. You didn't see how they were acting.

It doesn't matter! It's not your place!

You know what? My place probably isn't here, either.

[♪♪♪]

So? What do you think?

Well, I'm not going to lie. I've got a lot of notes.

But I don't want you to get discouraged, Jane.

Just like acting is reacting, writing is rewriting.

Of course. Give it to me straight.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well, here, you say Steve is "extremely handsome,"

but later, when his tail is revealed,

he's only "very handsome."

You know? If Steve is

extremely handsome in his tuxedo,

he should be equally handsome in his spacesuit.

Or even more so.

You see, the tail enhances his handsomeness.

Oh. Totally. Makes sense.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Does it, though?

I'll make Steve equally handsome throughout.

Anything else? Uh, yes.

Uh, there should be six to eight more slow push-ins

on Steve.

And instead of the head astronaut,

I think that Steve should be the one

to plant the American flag on Mars.

Okay.

[CHUCKLES] Uh, what about the, um, the plot and the dialogue?

Oh, the plot was perfection.

So dramatic.

And the dialogue was divine.

Fun and romantic. Great.

I-I'll just make these changes and send it to River.

Oh, I-I do have one question for you, though.

Why was my editor's number

written on the back of one of your scripts?

Oh, that?

I just wanted to send flowers after your book launch,

and I needed the address.

Really?

Yeah, really. Now focus up.

We got a lot of work to do. Ahem.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Jeremy, it's Jane Villanueva.

Um, long time, no speak.

Hoping you can call me back. Thanks.

Come on, Mateo. Time to go to Daddy's.

So, what'd you decide?

When I was Mateo's age, I always wanted a big family,

and Luisa's his aunt, so, yes.

Introduce them.

Thank you, Jane.

[♪♪♪]

I really appreciate this.

And I know Luisa will too.

She'll probably think her crystals are working.

She uses them to "set her intention."

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hey, it's worth a shot.

Set your intentions, Jane.

Anyways, I'll just, uh,

text her and find a time that works for both of us.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Let's check in on her intentions.

JANE: I'm over him. I'm so completely over him.

I mean, I honestly can't believe I was ever into him.

That shirt is way too tight, and look at

all that gel in his hair.

I am over, over, over him.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I love him so much.

Jane.

Are you okay?

Yep. All good.

JANE: Of course I'm not all good. I love you so much.

Okay, I should probably get going.

Wedding planning duty calls.

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Ahem. Sorry.

[♪♪♪]

PETRA: Girls, go inside.

Jane, stay here.

Why didn't you tell me J.R. yelled at my girls?

I didn't think it was my place to

get in the middle of someone else's business.

Since when? That's like your calling card. 1-800-NOSY.

Excuse me? Like, the one time

it could've been useful, you decide to stop?

I'm not okay with J.R. yelling

at my children. I could've used the heads-up.

I'm not okay with you yelling at me.

If you have an issue, you should talk to her.

I'm in a relationship with a woman. Trust me, we talk a lot.

You've talked about her role in disciplining your kids?

Well, no. We haven't actually talked about that.

So it's not really fair for you to get mad at her or me.

Now if you're done yelling at me,

I have to go get a wedding gift for my grandma.

XIOMARA: This way, we can see what the dress would look like a little.

And what do you think about

cattleya mossiae orchids for your bouquet?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Cattle-what now?

It's the national flower of Venezuela.

I thought it might be nice to have a little piece

of home when you walk down the aisle.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, I'm tearing up already.

[IN SPANISH] That sounds very special, Xiomara.

[CHUCKLES] Great. I'm on it.

[IN SPANISH] I'll see you after my shift, my love.

[♪♪♪]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Damn, Grandma.

Bye, Jorge.

Ooh!

Things are getting pretty steamy between you two.

[LAUGHS] Hard to wait?

Well, I have just the thing for that.

This has worked wonders for me over the years,

so I only found it fitting to give one to you.

[LAUGHS]

[GASPS] Ah!

When you have urges, you know,

just think about the flower and how...

[IN SPANISH] If you crumple it, you can never go back, Alba.

Though to be fair, hers has already been crumpled.

[IN ENGLISH] Not by Jorge. [GASPS] Ooh!

[PHONE RINGING] Oh.

Ooh, I got to get this.

[SIGHS]

Hey, uh, Jeremy. Thanks so much for getting back to me.

Yeah, sorry, Jane, I'm just not

looking for new manuscripts right now.

JANE: Oh, no, it's not that. Ha, ha.

Uh, I just wanted to apologize if my dad called

and harassed you in any way

after my book came out.

No. No, no, no, it was, uh, nothing like that.

Ah. But something definitely happened between you two?

Look, Jane, I promised

I wouldn't say anything, so you're really gonna

have to talk to your pops on that one. Sorry.

[♪♪♪]

So I talked to Jeremy.

I know what you did.

Oh.

Thank you so much.

You're not mad?

Of course not. Why would I be mad?

Because you don't like when I use my resources to help you.

Aha! How did you use your resources?

I didn't mean-- I knew it.

What was it? What did you do?

I-I promised to pay the publishers back

if 10,000 copies of your book didn't sell.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Oh, my God.

[♪♪♪]

That's why I got published?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: If this were a telenovela--

Which it is-- I'd say we've just gotten to our big...

Hola, mi peeps.

Hola. Ha, ha.

What did you think?

[EXHALES] I loved it.

Oh! Oh!

Honestly, I was worried that, as Rogelio's daughter,

that you would favor Steve over Brenda,

but you did a great job

of making us equal costars.

Thank you, River.

But actually, I disagree.

I think Brenda's underserved by this story.

I want to see her really shine.

I mean, your talent greatly, greatly outpaces my father's,

and I think that should be reflected in these pages.

You need several more monologues, of course.

I want to give her an additional lover

because Steve's face is gonna be horribly disfigured

by a Martian mining accident at the end of the pilot.

Jane, even if that were to happen, I--

Oh. And he's gonna lose his genitals.

[LAUGHING] Oh, oh, that sounds like

some pretty crazy, risky television.

It's gonna be great. And did I mention,

I think Brenda should be the one

who plants the American flag on Mars,

because she's the one doing all the work.

I am so in.

Let's do it.

Mm! [LAUGHING]

Bye.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Adiós, mi peeps.

XIOMARA: Oh, good, you're home. Your abuela is being wishy-washy

about wedding colors, and we need to move fast.

[♪♪♪]

What's wrong?

[IN SPANISH] They're doing the thing again,

and you're falling for it again.

Oh.

The meeting went great, right?

Come on! Do the dance. Break it down. Ooh.

JANE: Nope. No dance.

It actually didn't go well at all.

River didn't like the pages?

River loved the pages.

Then what's the problem?

I am so glad you asked, Abuela.

Dad, you want to tell what the problem is?

He bribed the publishing company,

and that's the reason my book got published.

What? No!

Be honest. You didn't know about this?

No way. Of course not!

[♪♪♪]

I-I'm sorry.

I just wanted to do something nice for you, Jane.

You were still grieving Michael,

and you had worked so hard on your book.

And I knew how important being

a published author was to you. Exactly!

It was the most important accomplishment of my life,

and it's a lie!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And while our Jane was down in the dumps,

so was the other Jane.

Hey.

Do you have a minute?

I got a lot of side work to finish

before my shift ends, so now's not a great time.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah. This isn't exactly the bar

J.R. wanted to be associated with.

I just came to apologize.

I know the girls can be difficult.

And I never set any rules when it came to you

acting in a parenting capacity with them.

So maybe it would help

if we set those ground rules now.

Did other Jane give you this advice?

Yeah, she did.

Well, it's reductive.

'Cause life isn't that neat.

Yeah, it might not be,

but we should still talk about what happened.

I know I messed up.

And I really want to fix this.

[♪♪♪]

I'm listening.

Can we not do this right by the dumpster?

I think I'm gonna pass out.

[CHUCKLES]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Looks like things

are starting to thaw.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[SIGHS]

[IN SPANISH] Just checking in.

You doing okay?

Are you sure?

[CRYING]

Oh, sweetie...

I'm here.

Talk to me.

Oh, it's just, um...

[LAUGHS] Over the past year,

when-whenever I started to doubt myself,

I'd remind myself...

I'm a published author.

It was the one accomplishment

I could always go back to.

I just feel like a fraud.

You're not.

You're a writer.

Well, I can't write for him.

Sweetheart,

I understand why you're so upset.

But don't throw away an amazing opportunity

because you're mad at your dad.

RAMOS: I just feel like a total failure.

I had zero control over the girls,

and so I lost my cool and snapped.

I don't have your patience.

Please.

When I give them time-outs, it's mostly for me.

[CHUCKLES]

And you can give them time-out too.

And hey, when in doubt, just threaten the iPad.

Okay, I gotta be honest.

It's not so much their behavior in particular so much as...

What?

[CHUCKLES] They're just so entitled.

And, well...

you know how scrappy my childhood was.

We couldn't even afford rent, let alone dinner every night.

I mean, that's why I never wanted to have kids.

I just wanted to take care of myself.

I never wanted to feel that fear again.

I just wanted-- I just focused on my career,

and...now...

even that's gone.

And I just feel like I'm at rock bottom.

[♪♪♪]

And so, yeah, I-I took it out on the girls.

And I won't do that again.

And I overreacted because...

you're right.

They are spoiled.

I went the other way, I guess, to make up for my childhood.

So help me with it.

Okay.

And I'm so sorry

that you feel like you're at rock bottom.

[SIGHS]

I wish I could help you with that.

You are.

Trust me.

[♪♪♪]

JORGE [IN SPANISH]: May I have a good night kiss?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, hello.

[IN SPANISH] Stop! We should stop!

[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

I'm sorry. Ahem.

I got carried away.

It's not your fault.

I got carried away too.

[BOTH PANTING]

Maybe we don't have to wait?

After all, we're already married.

Not in the eyes of God.

Well, there's only two months,

three weeks, and five days to go.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Not that he's counting or anything.

I just wish we didn't have to wait until then.

[♪♪♪]

But we do.

Mm-hm.

Right?

[♪♪♪]

There you are. Lots to do.

Xiomara, wait.

Last night, Jorge and I made a decision.

We're getting married this afternoon.

What do you mean? The church was booked.

I decided I didn't need the full mass,

so I called my priest.

He's able to squeeze us in right before choir practice

for a quick, private ceremony.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Emphasis on "quick."

I know what you're thinking,

but it's not just about physical intimacy.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Emphasis on "just."

The thing is, Jorge and I are at a place in our lives

where we'd rather be together for all the time we have.

[♪♪♪]

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

If that's what you two want, I'm onboard.

Me too.

Did you want to have any kind of reception, or--

We'll just have a nice, quick family dinner after.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Told ya, got to be quick.

Oh. Wow. Easy.

[CHUCKLES] Exactly.

And you don't have to stress about

feeling uncomfortable with Rafael.

It'll just be immediate family.

Thank you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Now let's get this woman laid.

I mean, married.

Yay! [LAUGHING]

XIOMARA: No. The cattleya mossiae orchid.

It has to be the cattleya mossiae.

I need them in two hours.

Good news. I found my veil.

Ah.

Hey, Abuela.

You okay?

Mm.

You're not feeling guilty, are you?

Because I think Abuelo would be so happy for you.

[IN SPANISH] I know he would.

I was just thinking about how different

this wedding will be from my first.

When it was just me and your grandfather,

starting off all alone together.

[♪♪♪]

And now, here I am.

Getting married again,

surrounded by my whole beautiful family.

It just feels so special.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of family...

[CHUCKLES] Hey, Mr. Sweet-Face.

Head to your room. There are clothes

laid out for you to change into. Hurry.

[SIGHS] Thanks for getting him here so fast.

Of course. But what was the rush?

My grandmother decided to get married, today!

Really?

Oh, God, how exciting for her.

[♪♪♪]

And you should be there.

It's an important moment for our whole family.

I will go get changed and meet you at the church.

[SIGHS]

Why did you invite him, my love?

Today isn't about my feelings. It's about our family.

And Rafael is a part of it.

Well, I'm glad.

Good. Go on and change.

We got to get you to the church.

We are literally at the church.

Where are the orchids?

That is not acceptable.

Get here now.

It's okay, Xiomara. It's not okay.

They promised they'd have those flowers here.

I don't need them.

Yes, you do. JANE: Mom.

Why are you getting so upset about those flowers?

They're just...important.

[♪♪♪]

What's really going on, Xiomara?

[♪♪♪]

I...just wanted to do one thing for you, for once,

because you've done

such a great job with being my mom.

And this was my chance to finally do something for you.

[TEARFULLY] To thank you.

Oh, Xiomara.

Especially after the year I've had

and how you've been with me through all of it.

[CRYING]

I never thought at 46 I'd still need my mom so much.

I don't need any thanks.

As a father, as a mother,

you never stop wanting to do whatever you can

to help your child.

Hey, are you guys ready? Jorge's getting--

[♪♪♪]

Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.

I'll just...

What?

You never stop wanting to do

whatever you can for your child.

[♪♪♪]

Dad.

Yes?

Let's talk.

I am so sorry, Jane.

I never meant to undermine your confidence.

And I know it was a wrong thing to do,

but I just wanted to help.

I know.

And I know it came from a good place.

I just have to recalibrate things now,

about myself as a writer and my career.

Does it help to know that River signed the contract?

And she certainly wasn't looking to do me any favors.

She just really loved your writing.

Thanks, Dad.

And I do too.

And this is my career,

and I don't mess around with my career, Jane.

[TEARFULLY] Thanks for that, Dad.

I love you.

Thank God. I love you too.

[LAUGHS]

[SNIFFLES]

U-Uh, I'm sorry. Heh, heh.

Is Alba still in the building?

She just needs another minute.

But she's coming?

Yeah, don't worry. She's definitely coming.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us to...

[ORGAN PLAYING "BRIDAL CHORUS" BY RICHARD WAGNER]

[CRYING] I can't. I'm already a mess.

[ORGAN STOPS PLAYING]

[IN SPANISH] Glad you could make it.

I wouldn't miss this for the world. [CHUCKLES]

[IN SPANISH] Since it is your intention to enter into marriage,

join your right hands,

and declare your consent before God and his church.

I, Alba Gloriana Villanueva,

take you,

Jorge Antonia Garcia,

to be my husband.

I promise to true to you

in good times and in bad,

in sickness and in health.

I will love you and honor you

for all the days of my life.

[JORGE SAYING VOWS INDISTINCTLY]

[♪♪♪]

I join you together in marriage,

in the name of the Father, and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

You may kiss the bride.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[FAMILY CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

[♪♪♪]

CHOIR: ♪ Go have sex a lot ♪

♪ Go have sex ♪

♪ Tonight's the night You'll finally see ♪

♪ The glory of sex With Jorge G ♪

♪ Go have sex, Alba ♪

♪ Don't be afraid ♪

♪ Of blue pills for J.G. ♪

♪ It's time to know Jorge biblically ♪

♪ Go have sex ♪

♪ Say goodbye To your vibrator friend ♪

♪ When the sex begins There will be no end ♪

♪ We're serious ♪

♪ It will be a religious ♪

♪ Experience ♪

JANE: These are great. Aw.

I can't believe you got these with your phone.

Right? I was thinking, let's make her a wedding album

since she's never had one.

Love that idea, yes.

[♪♪♪]

Was it hard today? Not being with Rafael?

Actually, seeing him at the wedding as a part of my family,

it was the first time I'd been with him in weeks

when my heart didn't just break.

It was brief. Heh. But still.

It helps that no matter what, we're family.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Speaking of family...

[♪♪♪]

Great news, Jane.

You're officially famous.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw.

Looks like Jane's picture in the paper

brought her closer to her father after all.

In other words, it's...

Thanks, Dad. Oh.

Thank you, guys, for letting me stay the night.

I am super happy for Abuela,

but I did not want to hear that.

And I think I started to.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: For the record,

things were starting to get pretty loud.

And, friends, I can't show you what's going to happen next.

But let's just say...

[ALBA GRUNTS]

[♪♪♪]

[TRAIN HORN BLARES]

[BOTH SIGH]

RAMOS: You look happy.

Why wouldn't I be? I'm with you.

[♪♪♪]

We don't wanna wear the shoes.

Yeah, they're ugly.

Put them on.

Okay, no iPad.

Fine. If you want us to look basic.

[BOTH LAUGH]

ANNIE [MOCKINGLY]: Ooh.

I love you.

[MOCKINGLY] Ooh.

I love you too.

Oh! [SMOOCHING]

You guys are pretty funny.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw, look at them.

One big happy family.

[PHONE BUZZING]

Wait, wait, wait. Oh. Sorry.

Hold on, one second.

Hello?

Oh, wow.

[♪♪♪]

Yes.

Thank you.

Okay.

Bye.

What? Who was that?

Um, my mentor.

She thinks she found me a job opportunity.

Not as a lawyer,

but in the legal field.

What? That's amazing!

Oh, congratulations.

Thing is the job's in Houston.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And from Houston...

to Mars.

[♪♪♪]

And, friends, just like that,

Jane felt inspired to write.

[♪♪♪]

Wait, this isn't Mars.

Wow.

Jane hasn't written her novel for months.

I'm your father.

[CHUCKLES]

You were incredible, Dad.

Did you just call me Dad?

ROGELIO: Here's where you're getting married.

As you can see, the reception will

spill out onto the soundstage.

JANE: I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

[SCREAMS] What are you doing?

Chin up, Jane! Jazz hands! Oh, no, no!

[PANTING]

[♪♪♪]

ROGELIO: I love you, Jane.

Oh, I love you, Dad.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Beautiful, just beautiful.

Only problem:

She's supposed to be writing a telenovela.

You're on a deadline, Jane.

Never mind.

She's on a roll.

I'll take this back to our telenovela instead.

Mateo. There's someone here to meet you.

[GASPS] Hi, little man.

Are you my Aunt Luisa, the one who made me get born?

[CHUCKLES] LUISA: I sure am.

And I'm so happy to finally meet you.

How come just now?

Well, I was...traveling.

But I'm home now.

Back with my family.

Finally.

So should we go to the beach?

Oh, I-I...

wasn't really planning on leaving the apartment.

I thought maybe we'd stay in and play some board games

Oh, come on, Rafael. I brought beach toys.

Yeah, come on, Daddy. Beach, beach, beach, beach.

BOTH [CHANTING]: Beach, beach, beach, beach, beach...

Okay, fine, beach day it is.

[CHUCKLING] [PHONE RINGING]

Ah. One-one second. Wait, wait, wait.

Hello?

Rafael, it's Dennis. Do you know where your sister is?

Yes, I do.

We just found out that all the money

from Rose's Satin Road was funneled into

an account under her name.

We think they're still working together.

[PHONE CHIMES]

I'll call you right back.

[KEYBOARD CLACKING] [PHONE CHIMES]

[♪♪♪]

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us to our...

[♪♪♪]