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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:05:07,087 --> 00:05:10,921
What about the others?
I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.
3
00:05:10,967 --> 00:05:13,003
They'll be happier when you're gone.
4
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:15,038
They have a war to win.
5
00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:20,045
Well, what the hell.
6
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,477
If they don't want any more missions,
let them stand up and say so.
7
00:05:23,527 --> 00:05:26,280
- Precisely.
- Exactly.
8
00:06:16,207 --> 00:06:18,596
Help! Help!
9
00:06:41,687 --> 00:06:43,723
Help him!
10
00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:46,201
- What?
- Help him! Help him!
11
00:06:46,247 --> 00:06:49,319
- Help who?
- Help the bombardier!
12
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:53,519
- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
- Then help him. Help him!
13
00:07:07,207 --> 00:07:09,516
- Snowden.
- What'd he say?
14
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:13,606
- He said, "Snowden".
- Snowden's dead.
15
00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:22,485
- Why is he talking to a dead man?
- He's Captain Yossarian. He's crazy.
16
00:07:24,047 --> 00:07:26,277
- Who says so?
- I do.
17
00:07:26,327 --> 00:07:28,522
- Cos I hate that son of a bitch?
- Who?
18
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:31,001
- Colonel Cathcart.
- I didn't ask you, Orr.
19
00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:34,084
- Colonel Cathcart isn't here.
- Who said anything about him?
20
00:07:34,127 --> 00:07:36,482
- Colonel Korn isn't here.
- Who said anything about him?
21
00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:39,564
- What son of a bitch do you hate?
- What son of a bitch is here?
22
00:07:39,607 --> 00:07:42,724
- You don't make any sense.
- You've got a persecution complex.
23
00:07:42,767 --> 00:07:44,883
- Damn right.
- You admit it!
24
00:07:44,927 --> 00:07:47,760
I admit I'm being persecuted.
By them!
25
00:07:47,807 --> 00:07:52,437
- Who specifically is "them"?
- All of them! Who do you think?
26
00:07:52,487 --> 00:07:56,639
- No idea!
- Then how do you know they aren't?
27
00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:59,679
- That's sheer what-do-you-call-it.
- Sophistry.
28
00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:02,639
Like hell it is.
They're trying to kill me!
29
00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:06,123
No one's trying to kill you.
Eat your dessert like a good boy.
30
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:09,921
- Then why are they shooting at me?
- They're shooting at everyone.
31
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:14,643
- What difference does that make?
- Suppose everyone thought like you?
32
00:08:14,687 --> 00:08:19,363
- I'd be a fool to think different.
- You need your head examined.
33
00:08:19,407 --> 00:08:21,443
There's nothing wrong with it.
34
00:08:22,727 --> 00:08:26,322
- Look at it once, will you?
- Yossarian, your head is OK.
35
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,517
Please, don't do that.
36
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,803
- Doc?
- What?
37
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:38,157
- I want you to ground me.
- Don't start that again.
38
00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:49,086
Doc, I don't want to fly any more.
It's dangerous.
39
00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:53,395
Listen, I told you...
Let's get out of here.
40
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:59,478
I've flown 35 missions. Now that nut
has raised the number to 50.
41
00:08:59,527 --> 00:09:03,406
In any other outfit I would've been
rotated after 25. Help me out.
42
00:09:03,447 --> 00:09:06,325
I'm due for rotation myself
in a couple of months,
43
00:09:06,367 --> 00:09:09,404
if I don't cause trouble
or break any rules.
44
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:12,996
One of the rules says I can't ground
anyone just because he asks me to.
45
00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:15,083
Can you ground someone who's crazy?
46
00:09:15,127 --> 00:09:18,358
Of course. The rules say
I have to ground anyone who's crazy.
47
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:22,685
I'm crazy! Ask anybody.
Ask Nately, Dobbs, McWatt...
48
00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:25,002
- Orr, tell him!
- Tell him what?
49
00:09:25,047 --> 00:09:28,722
- Am I crazy?
- He's crazy. He won't fly with me.
50
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:32,646
I'd take good care of him
but he won't. He's crazy, all right.
51
00:09:32,687 --> 00:09:36,475
- See that? They all say I'm crazy.
- They're crazy.
52
00:09:36,527 --> 00:09:38,802
- Ground them.
- Why don't they ask me to?
53
00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:41,998
- Because they're crazy!
- Of course they're crazy.
54
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:46,279
You can't let crazy people decide
whether you're crazy or not.
55
00:09:48,847 --> 00:09:51,236
- Is Orr crazy?
- Of course he is.
56
00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:54,882
He has to be, if he keeps flying
after all those close calls.
57
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,885
- Then why not ground him?
- He has to ask me.
58
00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:00,282
- That's all he's gotta do?
- Yes.
59
00:10:00,327 --> 00:10:04,206
- And then you can ground him?
- No. Then I cannot ground him.
60
00:10:04,247 --> 00:10:06,602
- There's a catch.
- A catch?
61
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:10,083
Sure, Catch-22. Anyone who wants
to get out of combat
62
00:10:10,127 --> 00:10:13,324
isn't really crazy,
so I can't ground him.
63
00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:17,442
Let me see if I got this straight.
64
00:10:17,487 --> 00:10:20,285
In order to be grounded,
I've got to be crazy
65
00:10:20,327 --> 00:10:22,716
and I must be crazy to keep flying.
66
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:26,043
But if I ask to be grounded,
that means I'm not crazy any more
67
00:10:26,087 --> 00:10:30,126
- and I have to keep flying.
- You've got it! That's Catch-22.
68
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:40,083
- That's some catch, that Catch-22.
- It's the best there is!
69
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:47,118
Good afternoon, this is Major Danby,
your Flight Operations Officer,
70
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,158
welcoming you to today's mission.
71
00:10:49,207 --> 00:10:52,040
You've all been briefed
on this morning's run,
72
00:10:52,087 --> 00:10:54,203
so I won't go over it again.
73
00:10:54,247 --> 00:10:58,638
There's no sense naming names, since
the enemy is probably listening,
74
00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:00,996
and there's no reason I can think of
75
00:11:01,047 --> 00:11:03,436
to tell him
where we're going to strike.
76
00:11:03,487 --> 00:11:08,322
That's the stupidest goddamn thing
I ever heard him say.
77
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:11,837
Weather conditions have improved
tremendously over the mainland,
78
00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:15,357
so you won't have any trouble
seeing the target.
79
00:11:15,407 --> 00:11:17,398
Of course, you mustn't forget,
80
00:11:17,447 --> 00:11:21,235
that means that they will have
no trouble at all seeing you.
81
00:11:21,287 --> 00:11:25,280
Colonel Cathcart would like to say
a few words before take-off.
82
00:11:25,327 --> 00:11:28,922
- And so, without further ado...
- Give me that!
83
00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:33,006
Men, I'm not gonna waste
any more of your time than I have to.
84
00:11:33,047 --> 00:11:36,084
I wish you good luck
on today's mission.
85
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:39,164
To those of you who won't come back,
I'd like to say
86
00:11:39,207 --> 00:11:43,041
we're gonna do our best to take care
of your wives and/or sweethearts.
87
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:46,557
And don't forget,
General Dreedle wants to see
88
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:50,919
a nice tight bombing pattern
on those aerial photographs.
89
00:11:50,967 --> 00:11:52,958
Everyone ready to go?
90
00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:04,757
Colonel Korn, I'd like you
to stay in the control tower.
91
00:14:04,807 --> 00:14:09,597
Stay on top of this. I'd like
to know when my boys make target.
92
00:14:09,647 --> 00:14:11,046
Yes, sir!
93
00:14:11,087 --> 00:14:13,999
What is it, Lieutenant Minderbinder?
94
00:14:14,047 --> 00:14:18,438
- An egg, sir.
- I know that, Lieutenant.
95
00:14:18,487 --> 00:14:22,241
- A fresh egg, sir.
- Where did you get the egg?
96
00:14:22,287 --> 00:14:27,759
In Malta, sir, where there are
enough chickens to lay fresh eggs
97
00:14:27,807 --> 00:14:30,116
for every officer in the squadron,
98
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:34,922
at five cents apiece
from the mess fund.
99
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:38,846
With a clear profit
of two cents per egg.
100
00:14:38,887 --> 00:14:40,764
For whom?
101
00:14:41,607 --> 00:14:46,362
For whomever sells the eggs
to the mess.
102
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:49,479
And who may that be, Milo?
103
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:53,877
- Oranges from Marrakech, pecans...
- Pecans?
104
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:58,125
And in Palermo, ten thousand gallons
of the finest Italian olive oil.
105
00:14:58,167 --> 00:15:01,603
The Sicilians need blankets.
It would be a fair trade.
106
00:15:01,647 --> 00:15:04,081
There's an interested party
in Sardinia.
107
00:15:04,127 --> 00:15:07,676
All we need is the cooperation
of the countries we're dealing with.
108
00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:11,037
- What countries?
- The African nations, sir,
109
00:15:11,087 --> 00:15:13,555
in the Greater Mediterranean area.
110
00:15:13,607 --> 00:15:18,237
What we need is an additional
assignment of personnel,
111
00:15:18,287 --> 00:15:20,596
a little time and a plane.
112
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:23,844
- What plane?
- One of ours, sir. If I had one,
113
00:15:23,887 --> 00:15:27,084
I could get the gasoline to Malta
and bring the eggs back.
114
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,765
All right.
115
00:15:28,807 --> 00:15:32,720
And if I was taken off combat duty
until I get this into operation...
116
00:15:33,687 --> 00:15:34,881
But...
117
00:15:34,927 --> 00:15:38,078
I know I'm just
an acting mess officer, Colonel,
118
00:15:38,127 --> 00:15:41,881
but it requires my full attention.
It's to everyone's benefit.
119
00:15:41,927 --> 00:15:44,316
- Take whatever you need.
- Thank you.
120
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:48,599
What I hope to do is to give the men
the finest cuisine in the world.
121
00:15:49,927 --> 00:15:54,159
- Isn't that something to shoot at?
- Yes, Milo, it certainly is.
122
00:16:02,407 --> 00:16:06,878
With your permission, I'd like to
show you something I've had printed.
123
00:16:06,927 --> 00:16:09,999
- What is it?
- Just an idea, sir. It's a share.
124
00:16:10,047 --> 00:16:13,164
- A share?
- In M&M Enterprises.
125
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:17,120
If we get my ideas into practice,
it should be organised like a mart.
126
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:19,761
- A mart?
- A syndicate.
127
00:16:19,807 --> 00:16:23,516
An enterprise. There are tremendous
profits to be made, Colonel.
128
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,523
- For us?
- For everyone.
129
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:29,685
What's good for M&M Enterprises
will be good for the country.
130
00:16:32,407 --> 00:16:35,080
- You'll have our full cooperation.
- Thank you.
131
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:39,598
If I take a plane this afternoon,
I'll get this material to Alexandria.
132
00:16:39,647 --> 00:16:42,605
There's a huge cotton crop this year.
133
00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:45,639
- Cotton is a very liquid commodity.
- How much?
134
00:16:45,687 --> 00:16:48,997
- We'll trade for it.
- With what?
135
00:16:49,047 --> 00:16:51,720
Silk! Four thousand yards of silk.
136
00:16:52,607 --> 00:16:55,565
How did you get hold of
so much silk?
137
00:16:55,607 --> 00:16:57,643
Where the hell's my parachute?
138
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:04,365
All right, which one of you bastards
stole my parachute?
139
00:17:11,047 --> 00:17:15,643
Hello, this is the bombardier here.
We gotta turn back.
140
00:17:17,007 --> 00:17:19,157
Nately, we gotta turn back now.
141
00:17:20,567 --> 00:17:23,161
Nately! Do you hear me up there?
142
00:17:23,207 --> 00:17:26,244
We gotta turn back.
We're gonna turn back now.
143
00:17:26,287 --> 00:17:30,075
Nately, let's turn back.
We're gonna turn back!
144
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:35,239
- What is it this time, Yossarian?
- Some bastard stole my chute!
145
00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:40,800
- Anything the matter?
- My parachute. It's gone!
146
00:17:40,847 --> 00:17:43,600
- Don't worry.
- What do you mean?
147
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:47,322
What do I do if I have to bail out?
Use my handkerchief?
148
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:51,838
That kind of humour in the face
of adversity keeps America strong.
149
00:17:51,887 --> 00:17:53,445
I like you.
150
00:17:53,487 --> 00:17:56,559
Aardvark, I'd like to kill you,
but I haven't got time.
151
00:17:56,607 --> 00:17:59,644
You could have my chute
but I gave it to Milo.
152
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:02,679
- You gave it to Milo?
- He's got all the chutes.
153
00:18:02,727 --> 00:18:06,242
He's got a hell of a deal
going for silk in Alexandria.
154
00:18:06,287 --> 00:18:08,881
Maybe I do have time to kill...
155
00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:12,283
- Looks like they've seen us coming.
- They've seen us!
156
00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:17,117
- God, they've seen us!
- Get ready to dump those eggs.
157
00:18:21,127 --> 00:18:24,881
They're shooting at me!
Where are we?
158
00:18:26,527 --> 00:18:29,041
Aardvark, where are we?
159
00:18:35,327 --> 00:18:38,797
- I think we're there.
- We're there?
160
00:18:40,207 --> 00:18:43,279
We're there? We're there!
161
00:18:44,887 --> 00:18:46,718
Get ready to turn!
162
00:18:46,847 --> 00:18:49,680
Four, three...
163
00:18:49,727 --> 00:18:54,562
two, one, drop! Let's go!
164
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:58,481
Turn right hard! Turn, turn!
165
00:18:58,527 --> 00:19:02,281
Turn, you son of a bitch! Turn right!
166
00:19:02,327 --> 00:19:06,002
- Turn, turn right!
- Look at that.
167
00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:10,802
I think we got 'em this time,
where it hurts. I can't hear you.
168
00:19:10,847 --> 00:19:14,237
- Get back in the ship!
- What's that?
169
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,403
Climb, you bastard! Climb!
170
00:19:19,007 --> 00:19:24,161
- Fire! Fire on board!
- Where's the fire?
171
00:19:24,207 --> 00:19:27,199
- Get out of the nose!
- I'm not in the nose.
172
00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:29,317
Speak up. I still can't hear you.
173
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:32,006
They're trying to kill us.
Get out of here!
174
00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:35,722
- Which way should I go?
- Turn left, you son of a bitch!
175
00:19:37,727 --> 00:19:39,957
Look, there goes Orr.
176
00:19:43,607 --> 00:19:46,201
That stupid little bastard. Pull out!
177
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:58,442
I think you've caught
a little something there.
178
00:19:59,327 --> 00:20:01,397
Is it my leg?
179
00:20:02,447 --> 00:20:04,199
Is that my leg?
180
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:09,639
- What's with my leg?
- Take it easy.
181
00:20:09,687 --> 00:20:11,564
My leg!
182
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,436
Yossarian's caught one.
183
00:20:19,647 --> 00:20:22,605
- What's that? I don't get you.
- Help him!
184
00:20:23,607 --> 00:20:26,041
- What?
- Help him! Help him!
185
00:20:26,087 --> 00:20:29,045
- Help who?
- Help the bombardier!
186
00:20:29,087 --> 00:20:32,921
- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
- Then help him. Help him!
187
00:21:11,527 --> 00:21:12,926
It's...
188
00:21:13,887 --> 00:21:17,357
- What's his name, the new gunner?
- Snowden.
189
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:05,039
- I'm cold.
- OK. You're gonna be OK.
190
00:22:05,087 --> 00:22:08,557
I'm cold. I'm cold.
191
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:24,204
Over here! Hurry up!
192
00:23:33,087 --> 00:23:36,557
- What?
- I asked how you were feeling.
193
00:23:45,687 --> 00:23:49,202
Better, thank you. What about you?
194
00:23:52,287 --> 00:23:56,280
- Me? Fairly well, thank you.
- You're welcome.
195
00:23:58,887 --> 00:24:01,959
Except for a slight head cold.
196
00:24:03,767 --> 00:24:07,123
Had it for about a week.
Can't seem to shake it.
197
00:24:07,167 --> 00:24:09,158
You know what they're like.
198
00:24:09,847 --> 00:24:13,203
No, I don't.
199
00:24:14,327 --> 00:24:18,036
I've never really had a head cold.
I've tried but...
200
00:24:21,487 --> 00:24:26,083
- Can't seem to be able to get one.
- You're very lucky.
201
00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:31,045
Yes, I suppose I am.
202
00:24:32,487 --> 00:24:36,082
Except for this piece of shrapnel
I caught in my leg.
203
00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:46,439
I've never caught
a piece of shrapnel.
204
00:24:59,487 --> 00:25:04,402
- You're a chaplain!
- Yes. Didn't you know that?
205
00:25:04,447 --> 00:25:09,567
No, I didn't. I've never
really seen a chaplain before.
206
00:25:09,607 --> 00:25:13,566
I had no idea chaplains
looked like that.
207
00:25:13,607 --> 00:25:19,284
Well, if I can do anything
to help you, anything at all, you...
208
00:25:19,327 --> 00:25:21,079
Anything?
209
00:25:22,967 --> 00:25:25,959
Like books, or cigarettes.
210
00:25:27,167 --> 00:25:28,680
Toys?
211
00:25:28,727 --> 00:25:32,197
No, I have everything I need,
thank you very much.
212
00:25:35,567 --> 00:25:38,718
- You could do one thing for me.
- What?
213
00:25:38,767 --> 00:25:42,157
- You could speak to Major Duluth.
- The Squadron Commander?
214
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,437
Tell him
I don't want to fly any more.
215
00:25:44,487 --> 00:25:48,480
Cathcart raised the number of
missions! He's trying to kill us all!
216
00:25:48,527 --> 00:25:51,758
- I can't do it, I'm desperate!
- It's not my business...
217
00:25:51,807 --> 00:25:56,403
- I'm desperate!
- I'll see what I can do. I will.
218
00:25:56,447 --> 00:25:58,802
I'm gonna do my best.
219
00:26:14,167 --> 00:26:17,523
It takes me 45 minutes
to do this thing.
220
00:26:17,567 --> 00:26:19,876
First I saut� the chicken parts,
221
00:26:19,927 --> 00:26:23,397
then I put the raisins
and the onions in.
222
00:26:45,487 --> 00:26:47,398
He yelled.
223
00:26:50,167 --> 00:26:52,442
I'm awfully sorry, sir.
224
00:26:52,487 --> 00:26:55,365
- What's your name?
- Major, sir.
225
00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:58,126
Not your rank, I asked your name.
226
00:26:58,167 --> 00:27:03,366
No, sir. I'm a captain.
My name is Major. Captain Major.
227
00:27:03,407 --> 00:27:05,602
About as clear as mud, isn't it?
228
00:27:05,647 --> 00:27:08,207
That's what it's just about
as clear as.
229
00:27:08,247 --> 00:27:13,037
Listen, Captain. You know
Major Duluth, the Squadron Commander?
230
00:27:13,087 --> 00:27:18,081
- He's a fine man, sir.
- Was. Major Duluth is dead.
231
00:27:18,127 --> 00:27:20,322
I'm distraught to hear that.
232
00:27:20,367 --> 00:27:25,441
You may be distraught but he's dead.
Shot down over Perugia today.
233
00:27:25,487 --> 00:27:30,641
That'll teach him to go on missions
when he should be in the office.
234
00:27:30,687 --> 00:27:34,362
- I don't see...
- We need a new squadron commander.
235
00:27:34,407 --> 00:27:38,161
And you're the only major available
on our headquarters staff.
236
00:27:38,207 --> 00:27:40,516
No, Major is my name, not my rank.
237
00:27:40,567 --> 00:27:44,355
That's close enough for me, Major.
Consider yourself a major.
238
00:27:44,407 --> 00:27:47,604
I don't know anything
about being a commander.
239
00:27:47,647 --> 00:27:50,525
We all have
to make sacrifices, Major.
240
00:27:50,567 --> 00:27:52,603
Sir, I'm in Billeting and Laundry!
241
00:27:52,647 --> 00:27:56,606
I know that, sir, but we all
have to do our part, I guess.
242
00:27:56,647 --> 00:27:59,320
Well, I don't like my part.
243
00:28:07,447 --> 00:28:11,156
Sergeant, I'm going to take
the rest of the afternoon off,
244
00:28:11,207 --> 00:28:15,917
and lie down in my tent
and think about things.
245
00:28:15,967 --> 00:28:19,084
Sir, there's someone
waiting to see you.
246
00:28:19,127 --> 00:28:21,402
- Now?
- Yes, sir.
247
00:28:22,647 --> 00:28:26,322
- Who is it?
- Captain Tappman, Group Chaplain.
248
00:28:26,367 --> 00:28:28,358
What does he want?
249
00:28:28,407 --> 00:28:31,444
Something to do with
Captain Yossarian.
250
00:28:34,727 --> 00:28:37,082
Look, Sergeant...
251
00:28:38,647 --> 00:28:40,797
My job is tough enough
252
00:28:40,847 --> 00:28:44,726
without having to deal all the time
with people who want something.
253
00:28:44,767 --> 00:28:46,758
- Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, sir.
254
00:28:46,807 --> 00:28:49,367
I suppose you're wondering
about this.
255
00:28:49,407 --> 00:28:52,399
No, sir.
It's not my place to wonder.
256
00:28:52,447 --> 00:28:55,883
- Did you know people stare at me?
- No, sir.
257
00:28:55,927 --> 00:28:58,521
They're thinking,
"Who is that Major Major,
258
00:28:58,567 --> 00:29:02,162
"that he gets to be commander
without ever having flown?"
259
00:29:02,207 --> 00:29:05,995
- I don't think people think that.
- Well, they are.
260
00:29:06,047 --> 00:29:09,323
When I have this on,
they don't know who I am.
261
00:29:10,287 --> 00:29:14,075
Did you know, in the Middle Ages,
princes and kings
262
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:17,563
would put on disguises
and walk around their subjects?
263
00:29:17,607 --> 00:29:20,724
- I didn't know that.
- You don't know everything.
264
00:29:20,767 --> 00:29:25,557
- No, sir. Why did they do that?
- Why did who do what?
265
00:29:25,607 --> 00:29:28,326
Why did they walk around in disguise?
266
00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:32,918
How the hell am I supposed to know?
I'm not some historian or anything.
267
00:29:32,967 --> 00:29:37,882
I'm just a guy trying to do his job.
Good afternoon, Sergeant.
268
00:29:40,807 --> 00:29:43,765
- What is it now?
- What do I do with the Chaplain?
269
00:29:43,807 --> 00:29:47,641
I don't want anyone to come
and see me while I'm in my office.
270
00:29:47,687 --> 00:29:50,645
What do I say to people
who want to see you?
271
00:29:50,687 --> 00:29:53,042
- Tell them to wait.
- For how long?
272
00:29:53,087 --> 00:29:55,317
- Until I've left.
- Then what?
273
00:29:55,367 --> 00:29:59,155
- I don't care.
- I send them in after you've left?
274
00:29:59,207 --> 00:30:01,596
You won't be here, then, will you?
275
00:30:01,647 --> 00:30:04,480
Also, I don't want you coming in
while I'm in,
276
00:30:04,527 --> 00:30:06,961
asking me
if there's anything you can do.
277
00:30:07,007 --> 00:30:09,805
When should I ask
if there's anything I can do?
278
00:30:09,847 --> 00:30:11,678
When I'm not there!
279
00:30:11,727 --> 00:30:14,764
- What do I do then?
- Whatever has to be done.
280
00:30:14,807 --> 00:30:19,437
I'm sorry to have to talk
to you this way, but I have to.
281
00:30:19,487 --> 00:30:21,876
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, sir.
282
00:30:30,007 --> 00:30:33,556
- Thank you, for everything.
- Thank you, sir.
283
00:30:38,767 --> 00:30:42,840
- The Major will see you now, Father.
- Thank you.
284
00:30:42,887 --> 00:30:47,085
- You don't have to call me Father.
- Sergeant Towser speaking.
285
00:30:47,127 --> 00:30:49,038
Will you go in?
286
00:30:49,087 --> 00:30:52,204
Yes, sir. I have it here, sir.
287
00:30:58,567 --> 00:31:00,956
- There's no one here.
- Where?
288
00:31:01,007 --> 00:31:03,441
In Major Major's office.
289
00:31:03,527 --> 00:31:07,202
- When?
- When you go to see him.
290
00:31:07,247 --> 00:31:11,320
What I mean is you can't see him
when he's there,
291
00:31:11,367 --> 00:31:15,246
when he's in his office.
I've tried. Several times.
292
00:31:15,287 --> 00:31:17,847
When can you see him? Ever?
293
00:31:17,887 --> 00:31:21,596
Yes, indeed, you can see him,
when he isn't there.
294
00:31:22,807 --> 00:31:24,957
That is, he'll see you, all right,
295
00:31:25,007 --> 00:31:28,556
but only in his office,
and only when he's not there.
296
00:31:28,607 --> 00:31:31,599
The other times, when he's in...
297
00:31:32,567 --> 00:31:34,797
he's not there
298
00:31:36,167 --> 00:31:38,044
to be seen.
299
00:31:38,087 --> 00:31:39,918
Except when he's out.
300
00:31:39,967 --> 00:31:43,198
What the hell
are you talking about, Father?
301
00:31:44,207 --> 00:31:46,357
Get your ass in here, Padre.
302
00:31:48,647 --> 00:31:52,003
Are you describing
some mystical experience?
303
00:31:52,047 --> 00:31:54,402
There are some peculiar things
happening.
304
00:31:54,447 --> 00:31:57,678
You haven't had any ecstatic visions,
have you?
305
00:31:57,727 --> 00:32:00,924
Didn't see a burning bush,
hear voices, anything like that?
306
00:32:00,967 --> 00:32:03,765
- Nothing as extraordinary as that.
- I hope not.
307
00:32:03,807 --> 00:32:07,720
We have to keep our supernatural
episodes down to a minimum.
308
00:32:07,767 --> 00:32:11,680
- We have a war to win.
- Absolutely, sir.
309
00:32:11,727 --> 00:32:15,003
- May I ask where we're going?
- Where we're going?
310
00:32:15,047 --> 00:32:17,845
You are going
to Colonel Cathcart's office.
311
00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:21,596
- Now?
- That's the general idea, Padre.
312
00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:25,765
Is there anything wrong?
Have I done anything?
313
00:32:25,807 --> 00:32:29,641
I don't know. Are you and
Captain Yossarian up to something?
314
00:32:29,687 --> 00:32:31,962
- I don't know what you mean.
- Then who does?
315
00:32:32,007 --> 00:32:36,762
- I don't know, sir.
- You don't know much about anything.
316
00:32:36,807 --> 00:32:40,163
- No, sir. Sir?
- What is it?
317
00:32:40,207 --> 00:32:44,405
It's not necessary to call me Father.
I'm an Anabaptist.
318
00:32:44,447 --> 00:32:47,917
Thanks for the correction. Thanks
for setting me straight on that.
319
00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:51,437
- I just thought you'd like to know.
- You're a captain, right?
320
00:32:51,487 --> 00:32:55,480
- I'm a Lieutenant Colonel. Correct?
- Yes, sir, it is.
321
00:32:55,527 --> 00:32:59,520
Then I can call you anything I want,
unless you have some objections.
322
00:33:00,127 --> 00:33:02,322
- Out!
- Thank you, sir.
323
00:33:04,967 --> 00:33:07,117
Sir, do you think now...?
324
00:33:08,767 --> 00:33:11,998
- Morning. Anything I can get you?
- Morning, Lieutenant. What?
325
00:33:12,047 --> 00:33:14,766
- Do you need any supplies?
- No.
326
00:33:14,807 --> 00:33:18,243
Whisky, silk stockings,
building materials, fresh fruit?
327
00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:22,246
The Colonel loves fresh fruit.
What about religious supplies?
328
00:33:22,287 --> 00:33:25,723
I know I can get hold of an entire
shipment of religious relics.
329
00:33:25,767 --> 00:33:27,997
Blessed by the Pope himself.
330
00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:31,403
The stuff includes the bones
of some of your top saints.
331
00:33:31,447 --> 00:33:36,123
- That's very kind of you.
- If you need anything, ask for Milo.
332
00:33:36,167 --> 00:33:40,240
- I was never issued a blanket.
- Anything at all, now!
333
00:33:55,927 --> 00:33:57,997
I think the Colonel wants to see me.
334
00:33:59,087 --> 00:34:01,806
- He does?
- I believe so. I'm...
335
00:34:02,807 --> 00:34:05,719
- Chaplain Tappman.
- You're Chaplain Tappman?
336
00:34:05,767 --> 00:34:09,521
Have a seat. I'll tell the Colonel
you're here, Father.
337
00:34:09,567 --> 00:34:11,364
It's not...
338
00:34:23,247 --> 00:34:25,807
You'd better get some dry things.
339
00:34:26,727 --> 00:34:30,083
I will. As soon as the Colonel
is through with me.
340
00:34:32,967 --> 00:34:36,437
They just picked me up
out of the sea.
341
00:34:36,527 --> 00:34:40,361
- I drifted for almost three days.
- You should report to the hospital.
342
00:34:40,407 --> 00:34:44,002
- You could catch pneumonia.
- Not me.
343
00:34:44,047 --> 00:34:47,278
- This is my fourth time.
- How do you mean?
344
00:34:47,327 --> 00:34:50,956
I've put down in the Mediterranean
once, once in the Adriatic,
345
00:34:51,007 --> 00:34:54,477
then I crash-landed one plane
and I bailed out once.
346
00:34:55,807 --> 00:34:59,004
- You're very lucky.
- That's what some folks say.
347
00:34:59,047 --> 00:35:02,722
Yossarian says they're gonna start
taking it out of my salary.
348
00:35:04,767 --> 00:35:07,042
He's a friend of mine.
Do you know him?
349
00:35:07,087 --> 00:35:10,966
- As a matter of fact...
- Captain Tappman!
350
00:35:13,327 --> 00:35:17,036
- Perhaps you shouldn't fly any more.
- It's good practice.
351
00:35:18,327 --> 00:35:22,320
- Tappman, the Colonel is a busy man.
- Yes, of course.
352
00:35:29,927 --> 00:35:33,283
We don't see much of you
around here lately.
353
00:35:34,127 --> 00:35:38,484
Well, sir, I try to stay out
of the way as much as possible.
354
00:35:38,527 --> 00:35:42,566
- I may make the men uncomfortable.
- Nonsense!
355
00:35:42,607 --> 00:35:47,078
I can't imagine any man not enjoying
the benefits of your presence.
356
00:35:47,127 --> 00:35:49,163
Unless they're atheists.
357
00:35:50,407 --> 00:35:53,956
- Not much chance of that, though.
- I don't know, sir.
358
00:35:54,007 --> 00:35:56,567
- Isn't atheism against the law?
- No.
359
00:35:56,607 --> 00:36:00,316
It isn't?
Then it's un-American, isn't it?
360
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,120
- I'm not sure.
- Well, I am.
361
00:36:03,167 --> 00:36:05,556
If I find any atheists on this base,
362
00:36:05,607 --> 00:36:08,644
you can bet they'll soon
start believing in something.
363
00:36:08,687 --> 00:36:12,043
That's not why
I called you in, Chaplain.
364
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,237
I want you to take a look at this.
365
00:36:16,287 --> 00:36:18,278
Page 48.
366
00:36:22,127 --> 00:36:25,836
Don't read the whole thing. You can
get the point from the photographs.
367
00:36:25,887 --> 00:36:29,163
There's a full-page picture
of a colonel in England
368
00:36:29,207 --> 00:36:32,438
whose chaplain conducts prayers
before every mission.
369
00:36:32,487 --> 00:36:35,365
I see no reason why
The Saturday Evening Post
370
00:36:35,407 --> 00:36:38,683
should not be interested
in the story of my outfit.
371
00:36:38,727 --> 00:36:43,801
Think up some nice snappy prayers
to send the men out feeling good.
372
00:36:43,847 --> 00:36:45,963
Can you do that?
373
00:36:46,767 --> 00:36:50,316
- I'll try.
- Well, good! Let's get to it!
374
00:36:59,247 --> 00:37:01,238
Is there something else?
375
00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:03,878
Sir, it may be none of my business,
376
00:37:03,927 --> 00:37:08,637
but some of the men are
particularly upset about the fact
377
00:37:08,687 --> 00:37:12,726
that you keep raising the number
of missions they have to fly.
378
00:37:15,527 --> 00:37:18,280
- You're right, Chaplain.
- I am, sir?
379
00:37:18,327 --> 00:37:22,286
That it's none of your business.
And it's none of theirs either.
380
00:37:22,327 --> 00:37:24,921
Their business is to fly missions.
381
00:37:24,967 --> 00:37:27,720
Your business is to think of
some catchy prayers
382
00:37:27,767 --> 00:37:31,555
that'll get me into The Saturday
Evening Post. Good afternoon!
383
00:37:36,007 --> 00:37:40,285
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me, Padre.
384
00:37:46,007 --> 00:37:49,966
He says the men are upset because I
keep raising the number of missions.
385
00:37:52,327 --> 00:37:56,718
It's that Captain Yossarian. He's
always bitching and making trouble.
386
00:37:56,767 --> 00:38:00,760
- What can we do about it?
- What would General Dreedle do?
387
00:38:02,047 --> 00:38:04,038
- He'd crush him.
- Tear him apart!
388
00:38:04,087 --> 00:38:06,317
- Smack him in the face!
- Jab him in the kidneys!
389
00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:07,356
Kick him in the balls!
390
00:38:14,327 --> 00:38:17,319
Keep your head down
between your legs.
391
00:38:18,407 --> 00:38:20,443
Try to breathe deeply and evenly.
392
00:38:21,527 --> 00:38:24,564
I'm sorry, Captain.
I know how that must feel.
393
00:38:24,607 --> 00:38:26,996
- I don't think so.
- Try not to talk.
394
00:38:27,047 --> 00:38:31,598
Just think about nice things.
Think about how lovely it is here,
395
00:38:32,687 --> 00:38:38,080
how lovely it would be if someone
didn't always try to spoil it.
396
00:38:38,127 --> 00:38:41,358
- Why do you always try to spoil it?
- Because I love you.
397
00:38:41,407 --> 00:38:44,365
I know that, Captain. I know that.
398
00:38:44,407 --> 00:38:48,366
But this is wartime.
We've got a job to do, Soldier.
399
00:38:48,407 --> 00:38:52,195
We just can't give in to ourselves.
Think how it is for me.
400
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:56,638
One of a handful of women
on an island with thousands of men.
401
00:38:56,687 --> 00:39:00,965
Men who are giving up their lives
for our country, for me.
402
00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:04,363
Think about... Captain Yossarian!
403
00:39:05,127 --> 00:39:08,961
- What are you doing?
- Listen, I'm gonna die.
404
00:39:16,567 --> 00:39:18,922
What is it?
405
00:39:20,087 --> 00:39:22,078
What's the matter?
406
00:39:22,287 --> 00:39:27,281
The name of the town is Ferrara
and it's right around here.
407
00:39:27,327 --> 00:39:30,763
It's a very pretty town,
on the coast.
408
00:39:33,247 --> 00:39:36,125
- You all right?
- It's her, it's her!
409
00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:39,239
- Who?
- Dreedle's WAC!
410
00:39:39,487 --> 00:39:43,799
If you do your job well, there won't
be anything left of it, anyway.
411
00:39:44,767 --> 00:39:49,283
Intelligence reports indicate you
shouldn't have to worry about flak.
412
00:39:49,327 --> 00:39:53,366
We were hoping for some
new recon photos of the area.
413
00:39:53,407 --> 00:39:57,923
Unfortunately they haven't arrived
but then, no news is good news.
414
00:39:59,007 --> 00:40:03,637
You may ask how come we're out
to destroy a town with no industry,
415
00:40:03,687 --> 00:40:06,724
no enemy bases,
no strategic value to anyone.
416
00:40:20,247 --> 00:40:23,239
As you were. Good morning, gentlemen.
417
00:40:24,127 --> 00:40:27,642
We're honoured to have General
Dreedle at today's briefing.
418
00:40:27,687 --> 00:40:31,441
Don't pay any attention to me.
Just carry on.
419
00:40:31,607 --> 00:40:35,646
- Don't pay any attention to Dad.
- Will you clam up?
420
00:40:36,807 --> 00:40:38,877
Don't call me Dad.
421
00:40:38,967 --> 00:40:43,961
- Go ahead with your briefing, Major.
- Yes, well... Thank you, sir.
422
00:40:45,327 --> 00:40:48,000
I was just telling
the men here that...
423
00:40:48,047 --> 00:40:51,960
- Don't tell me. Tell them!
- Tell the men, Danby.
424
00:40:53,407 --> 00:40:57,605
Yes. I was just explaining
why we're going to obliterate...
425
00:40:57,647 --> 00:41:00,605
- What about a chair?
- Sir?
426
00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:05,646
- A chair.
- I beg your pardon, General?
427
00:41:05,687 --> 00:41:07,564
A chair!
428
00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:10,603
Doesn't anyone know what a chair is?!
429
00:41:14,247 --> 00:41:16,681
Can't you see a lady is standing?
430
00:41:16,727 --> 00:41:19,560
A chair for Dad's gir... for the lady!
431
00:41:34,487 --> 00:41:36,364
Carry on.
432
00:41:36,407 --> 00:41:39,877
We're now going to synchronise
our watches.
433
00:41:39,927 --> 00:41:45,160
We've all done this before, so I
don't think we'll have a problem.
434
00:41:46,527 --> 00:41:51,726
If everyone will be kind enough to
look down at his watch, we'll begin.
435
00:41:51,767 --> 00:41:57,364
It is now 11:15 hours minus 50...
436
00:41:57,407 --> 00:42:00,717
49, 48, 47...
437
00:42:31,407 --> 00:42:33,796
Somebody's gonna get it!
438
00:42:45,447 --> 00:42:47,517
All right, at ease!
439
00:42:49,287 --> 00:42:52,802
There'll be no more moaning
in this outfit.
440
00:42:52,847 --> 00:42:56,726
The next man who moans
is going to be very sorry.
441
00:43:04,967 --> 00:43:07,481
Who is this man?
442
00:43:07,527 --> 00:43:10,439
- Major Danby, sir.
- Danby. D-A-N-B-Y.
443
00:43:10,487 --> 00:43:13,001
- Take him out and shoot him.
- Sir?
444
00:43:13,047 --> 00:43:17,245
- I said take him out and shoot him.
- Take Major Danby out and shoot him.
445
00:43:18,647 --> 00:43:23,357
I think you'd better wait a minute,
Dad. I don't think you can shoot him.
446
00:43:23,407 --> 00:43:26,319
Why the hell can't I? Why not?
447
00:43:27,527 --> 00:43:30,087
You mean I can't shoot
whoever I want to?
448
00:43:30,607 --> 00:43:33,440
- Is that a fact?
- I'm afraid it is, Dad.
449
00:43:33,487 --> 00:43:36,285
You think you're pretty smart,
don't you?
450
00:43:36,327 --> 00:43:40,639
Just because my daughter married you
for God knows what bizarre reason...
451
00:43:40,687 --> 00:43:42,439
No, Dad, it's just...
452
00:43:42,487 --> 00:43:46,321
Let the insubordinate son of a bitch
go, but get him out of here.
453
00:43:48,487 --> 00:43:52,275
- Better do something.
- All right, men. I think we...
454
00:43:52,327 --> 00:43:57,355
owe a vote of thanks to the General
for visiting us and cheering us up.
455
00:43:57,407 --> 00:44:01,605
In his honour, I'd like to make an
announcement which may interest you.
456
00:44:01,647 --> 00:44:04,241
I know you're all anxious
to do your part...
457
00:44:04,287 --> 00:44:05,959
Here it comes.
458
00:44:06,007 --> 00:44:09,602
As of now,
the number of missions required
459
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:13,606
before you are eligible for rotation
is raised to 75.
460
00:44:13,647 --> 00:44:16,605
I know we'll all do our best.
461
00:44:23,007 --> 00:44:24,998
Why are you smiling,
you silly bastard?
462
00:44:25,047 --> 00:44:28,323
- Now I won't have to go home.
- You what?
463
00:44:28,367 --> 00:44:31,006
I can stay.
I don't have to leave her.
464
00:44:31,047 --> 00:44:34,596
- What are you saying?
- I love her.
465
00:44:36,327 --> 00:44:41,799
I do. I really do. I've never felt
like this, not even for my mom.
466
00:44:41,847 --> 00:44:44,202
Men don't fall in love
with girls like that.
467
00:44:44,247 --> 00:44:46,920
Men always fall in love
with girls like that.
468
00:44:46,967 --> 00:44:48,923
One or the other.
469
00:44:48,967 --> 00:44:51,959
I'm gonna take her back
to Long Island with me.
470
00:44:52,007 --> 00:44:55,044
You don't really love her.
You think you love her.
471
00:44:55,087 --> 00:44:57,078
How can you tell the difference
472
00:44:57,127 --> 00:44:59,402
between loving her
and thinking he's in love?
473
00:44:59,447 --> 00:45:02,245
- You have to be objective.
- Who's objective?
474
00:45:02,287 --> 00:45:06,519
- I am cos I'm not in love with her.
- You mean you think you're not.
475
00:45:06,567 --> 00:45:09,798
- That's right.
- So how can you tell the difference?
476
00:45:10,407 --> 00:45:13,080
- Wait a second...
- Look!
477
00:45:15,127 --> 00:45:19,439
- Look what Aarfy's got.
- Say goodbye, McWatt. Come on!
478
00:45:20,967 --> 00:45:24,118
My dear...
My dear, we had a lovely day.
479
00:45:24,167 --> 00:45:28,319
Did you see what he did?
Make him tell you what he did.
480
00:45:30,807 --> 00:45:35,039
- What'd you do, Aarfy?
- Nothing. Nice girl. Very nice girl.
481
00:45:35,087 --> 00:45:38,796
She wanted us to go home with her.
She was gonna show us a good time.
482
00:45:38,847 --> 00:45:42,886
We had a good time. We saw
the Colosseum and other swell sights.
483
00:45:42,927 --> 00:45:46,966
- Why didn't you take her home?
- I can't take advantage of a kid.
484
00:45:47,007 --> 00:45:50,556
- Old Aarfy's got some principles.
- You've got a diseased mind.
485
00:45:50,607 --> 00:45:53,326
She just wanted to jump
in the sack with somebody.
486
00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:55,927
She's mixed up.
I gave her a good talking to.
487
00:45:55,967 --> 00:45:57,878
He did!
488
00:45:57,927 --> 00:46:00,725
I straightened her out
and sent her home.
489
00:46:00,767 --> 00:46:03,565
- You crazy bastard!
- You're beneath contempt.
490
00:46:03,607 --> 00:46:06,838
- He's got a dirty mind.
- I don't see it that way.
491
00:46:06,887 --> 00:46:09,640
- They want us to go home with them.
- For how much?
492
00:46:09,687 --> 00:46:11,996
- $30!
- Who's the little runt?
493
00:46:12,047 --> 00:46:13,878
Nately's whore's kid sister.
494
00:46:13,927 --> 00:46:17,283
I wanna spend some time with my girl.
I'll pay for all of us.
495
00:46:17,327 --> 00:46:20,444
Give her the 30 bucks
and send the other two away.
496
00:46:20,487 --> 00:46:23,081
She'll be angry with me
for making her work.
497
00:46:23,127 --> 00:46:26,324
She said that if I really loved her,
I'd sleep with the other two.
498
00:46:26,367 --> 00:46:28,676
I swear, you fellas...!
499
00:46:29,647 --> 00:46:31,638
Come on, Yossarian, let's go!
500
00:46:33,167 --> 00:46:35,078
Go on, you go.
501
00:46:35,727 --> 00:46:38,958
- What's wrong?
- What isn't wrong?
502
00:46:39,007 --> 00:46:43,319
- Two more missions and we go home.
- You know what's gonna happen.
503
00:46:43,367 --> 00:46:46,996
No. A whole bunch of replacement
pilots came into Naples yesterday.
504
00:46:47,047 --> 00:46:48,799
- Who says?
- Milo.
505
00:46:48,847 --> 00:46:51,315
He just came from there
with loads of coconuts.
506
00:46:51,367 --> 00:46:54,962
We'll never see those replacements,
or those coconuts.
507
00:46:55,007 --> 00:46:57,885
Cathcart wouldn't dare
raise the number of missions again.
508
00:46:57,927 --> 00:46:59,963
Who's gonna stop him?
509
00:47:02,567 --> 00:47:04,717
Somebody will.
510
00:47:09,247 --> 00:47:11,124
Come on!
511
00:47:15,927 --> 00:47:18,043
Wait for me!
512
00:49:14,687 --> 00:49:17,997
All right. I want to get this clear.
513
00:49:18,967 --> 00:49:20,685
As I understand it,
514
00:49:20,727 --> 00:49:24,242
we're giving these men medals
for doing a lousy job. Is that right?
515
00:49:24,287 --> 00:49:26,243
That's not quite the situation.
516
00:49:26,367 --> 00:49:29,723
When I want an answer from you I'll
look at you - as seldom as possible.
517
00:49:29,767 --> 00:49:32,361
- I think I can explain it.
- You'd better.
518
00:49:32,407 --> 00:49:37,356
Yesterday's mission was to bomb
a town called Ferrara.
519
00:49:37,407 --> 00:49:41,161
- Why Ferrara?
- What do you mean, "Why Ferrara?"
520
00:49:41,207 --> 00:49:45,280
- Do you know what Ferrara is?
- It's a town on a hill.
521
00:49:45,327 --> 00:49:48,876
- Do you know what's in that town?
- Five minutes to target.
522
00:49:48,927 --> 00:49:51,282
- What's in it?
- Nothing.
523
00:49:51,327 --> 00:49:54,842
Nothing's in it.
No Germans, no munitions,
524
00:49:54,887 --> 00:49:58,357
no railroad crossing,
no harbour, nothing.
525
00:49:59,407 --> 00:50:04,401
- Nothing at all?
- No. Except people. Italian people.
526
00:50:04,447 --> 00:50:06,597
And a monastery.
527
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:11,517
Yossarian, maybe it's some kind
of strategy thing.
528
00:50:12,367 --> 00:50:16,804
- What the hell are we doing?
- It's not our business to ask.
529
00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:19,202
- Whose business is it?
- Four minutes to target.
530
00:50:19,247 --> 00:50:23,479
- Are you ready to take us in?
- Get ready to dump.
531
00:50:23,527 --> 00:50:26,246
- We're not there yet!
- Get away from there, Aardvark!
532
00:50:26,287 --> 00:50:29,563
Come on, you'll screw up
the whole mission!
533
00:50:29,647 --> 00:50:32,081
- Get ready to turn!
- What are you doing?
534
00:50:32,127 --> 00:50:35,358
- Cut it out, Yossarian!
- Get ready to turn!
535
00:50:45,607 --> 00:50:48,963
A direct hit... on the ocean?
536
00:50:49,007 --> 00:50:51,760
Yes, sir. A marvellous bomb pattern.
537
00:50:51,807 --> 00:50:54,719
We have aerial photographs
if you'd like to see them.
538
00:50:54,767 --> 00:50:59,158
We're decorating men who dropped
20 tons of expensive bombs
539
00:51:00,047 --> 00:51:04,245
- on the Mediterranean?
- If you consider the alternative...
540
00:51:04,287 --> 00:51:08,326
The alternative is that we take
the whole crew and shoot 'em.
541
00:51:08,847 --> 00:51:12,681
- Might be a problem there, sir.
- All right, I know.
542
00:51:13,647 --> 00:51:17,083
If we can't shoot the bastards,
we can court-martial them,
543
00:51:17,127 --> 00:51:19,641
see that they rot in some stockade.
544
00:51:19,687 --> 00:51:24,966
We felt that a court-martial
might get unavoidable publicity.
545
00:51:25,007 --> 00:51:29,398
If it got around that we used one
of our missions to bomb the ocean...
546
00:51:29,447 --> 00:51:32,245
You don't have to say
anything more, Colonel.
547
00:51:50,367 --> 00:51:55,202
"For distinguished duty in the face
of overwhelming..." something...
548
00:51:55,247 --> 00:51:56,805
- Odds.
- "...odds,
549
00:51:56,847 --> 00:52:00,726
"this Air Medal is awarded
to Captain JS..."
550
00:52:00,767 --> 00:52:02,997
- McWatt.
- "...McWatt."
551
00:52:07,847 --> 00:52:09,917
Come on, come on.
552
00:52:14,087 --> 00:52:17,079
All right, McWatt.
What are you waiting for, a kiss?
553
00:52:17,127 --> 00:52:21,006
- Get back in there.
- And on the double!
554
00:52:21,047 --> 00:52:23,242
"For meritorious action
555
00:52:23,287 --> 00:52:27,121
"in the face of concentrated
enemy fire, Captain..."
556
00:52:27,967 --> 00:52:30,083
- What's this?
- Come on, dumbo.
557
00:52:45,887 --> 00:52:49,038
Unless I miss my guess, Captain,
558
00:52:50,367 --> 00:52:52,562
you're out of uniform.
559
00:52:54,727 --> 00:52:56,843
What are you looking at?
560
00:52:57,527 --> 00:53:01,076
Get back in the car,
you smirking slut.
561
00:53:07,127 --> 00:53:10,403
Why aren't you wearing clothes,
Captain?
562
00:53:10,447 --> 00:53:14,326
- I don't want to.
- What do you mean? Why don't you?
563
00:53:15,607 --> 00:53:17,598
I dunno. I just don't want to.
564
00:53:18,407 --> 00:53:21,717
- Why is he naked?
- He's talking to you.
565
00:53:21,767 --> 00:53:25,760
- Why is he naked, Major?
- Why is he naked, Sergeant?
566
00:53:25,807 --> 00:53:28,958
A man was killed in his plane
and bled all over him.
567
00:53:29,007 --> 00:53:31,043
His clothes are in the laundry.
568
00:53:31,087 --> 00:53:34,318
- Where are his other uniforms?
- In the laundry, sir.
569
00:53:34,367 --> 00:53:38,121
- Where is his underwear?
- In the laundry, sir.
570
00:53:39,247 --> 00:53:42,876
- That sounds like a lot of crap.
- It is a lot of crap, sir.
571
00:53:42,927 --> 00:53:46,158
Sir, this man
will be punished severely.
572
00:53:46,207 --> 00:53:48,482
What the hell do I care?
573
00:53:49,407 --> 00:53:52,399
If he wants to receive a medal
without clothes on,
574
00:53:52,447 --> 00:53:54,403
what business is it of yours?
575
00:53:54,447 --> 00:53:58,645
- My sentiments exactly, sir.
- Here's your medal, Captain.
576
00:54:00,567 --> 00:54:05,357
- You're a very weird person.
- Thank you, sir.
577
00:54:10,527 --> 00:54:12,722
- You are giving me this?
- Yes.
578
00:54:12,767 --> 00:54:14,962
- Perch�?
- Because you're beautiful,
579
00:54:15,007 --> 00:54:18,477
and because your name is Luciana.
It was my mother's name.
580
00:54:18,527 --> 00:54:23,396
But my real name is Eleonora Rosanna.
I only call myself Luciana.
581
00:54:23,447 --> 00:54:25,438
My mother
only called herself Luciana.
582
00:54:25,487 --> 00:54:27,523
Her real name was Eleonora Rosanna.
583
00:54:27,567 --> 00:54:30,957
- I don't believe you.
- I don't blame you.
584
00:54:33,767 --> 00:54:36,235
What you get this for?
585
00:54:36,287 --> 00:54:39,757
Will you believe me
if I tell the truth?
586
00:54:40,887 --> 00:54:44,846
I was awarded that particular medal
for killing fish.
587
00:54:44,887 --> 00:54:49,324
- You have killed many fish?
- Yes, I am one of the biggest...
588
00:54:49,367 --> 00:54:54,236
I am the most renowned killer of fish
in the US Army Air Force.
589
00:54:57,167 --> 00:55:00,603
I dance with you
but I won't let you sleep with me.
590
00:55:00,647 --> 00:55:03,320
- Who asked you?
- You don't want to sleep with me?
591
00:55:03,367 --> 00:55:07,042
- I don't wanna dance with you.
- You crazy?
592
00:55:11,567 --> 00:55:15,446
- Watch where you put your hands, GI.
- My name is Yossarian.
593
00:55:15,487 --> 00:55:18,877
Watch where you put your hands,
Yossarian.
594
00:56:42,647 --> 00:56:44,638
It's...
595
00:56:45,487 --> 00:56:48,684
- What's his name, the new gunner?
- Snowden.
596
00:56:56,047 --> 00:57:00,325
- I'm cold.
- OK. You're gonna be OK.
597
00:57:01,367 --> 00:57:03,722
Cold. Cold.
598
00:57:19,047 --> 00:57:21,880
- There.
- Starting to hurt me.
599
00:57:23,607 --> 00:57:26,201
Hang on. I'll get you some morphine.
600
00:57:56,527 --> 00:57:58,199
- You prick!
- Hi! What's up?
601
00:57:58,247 --> 00:58:01,842
It's good to see you.
When did you get out of the hospital?
602
00:58:01,887 --> 00:58:04,355
We've got a couple of things
to talk over.
603
00:58:04,407 --> 00:58:08,719
How you feeling? I'm sorry I didn't
visit, but I've been in Naples.
604
00:58:08,767 --> 00:58:11,565
- I wanna know about that parachute.
- What parachute?
605
00:58:11,607 --> 00:58:14,644
The one I use if I need
to jump out of the plane.
606
00:58:14,687 --> 00:58:18,521
That parachute! You have
to remember that your parachute
607
00:58:18,567 --> 00:58:22,321
was just one of 50 or 60 parachutes
taken over by the Syndicate.
608
00:58:22,367 --> 00:58:25,916
I don't care about the Syndicate.
I don't want your tomatoes!
609
00:58:25,967 --> 00:58:29,516
They're not my tomatoes, they're the
Syndicate's tomatoes. Our tomatoes.
610
00:58:29,567 --> 00:58:31,762
Just as these are our statues.
611
00:58:31,807 --> 00:58:36,005
In fact, that's where
all the parachutes went.
612
00:58:36,047 --> 00:58:38,277
You traded my parachute for statues?
613
00:58:38,327 --> 00:58:42,206
No, in point of fact. I traded
our diesel engines for the statues.
614
00:58:42,247 --> 00:58:44,966
- I don't have any engines!
- I said "our", not "your".
615
00:58:45,007 --> 00:58:47,885
I got the engines
for two planeloads of lumber,
616
00:58:47,927 --> 00:58:50,282
100 pairs of shoes
and the parachutes.
617
00:58:50,327 --> 00:58:53,956
The men aren't gonna be happy
about what you've been doing.
618
00:58:54,007 --> 00:58:57,920
Don't they understand? We're gonna
come out of this war rich.
619
00:58:57,967 --> 00:59:01,801
You're gonna come out rich.
We're gonna come out dead!
620
00:59:02,727 --> 00:59:06,436
- What does he want?
- Who?
621
00:59:06,487 --> 00:59:08,398
Hungry Joe.
622
00:59:10,487 --> 00:59:14,036
- What is the matter?
- I got a feeling.
623
00:59:16,287 --> 00:59:18,403
- I think it is.
- What?
624
00:59:18,447 --> 00:59:20,677
- Come on.
- What is it?
625
00:59:20,727 --> 00:59:23,799
I don't know
but if it's what I think it is...
626
00:59:28,327 --> 00:59:30,397
It's just McWatt.
627
00:59:30,447 --> 00:59:33,837
The bastard's been doing it to me
for months. He's jealous of her.
628
00:59:33,887 --> 00:59:36,606
- Because she likes you better?
- She likes him better.
629
00:59:36,647 --> 00:59:39,764
- Why doesn't she go out with him?
- Because she can't stand him!
630
00:59:40,807 --> 00:59:42,877
- Good old McWatt.
- Why?
631
00:59:42,927 --> 00:59:44,918
He's carrying me on his manifest.
632
00:59:44,967 --> 00:59:48,118
Every time he goes up,
he files my name as a passenger.
633
00:59:48,167 --> 00:59:52,797
I get my flight pay
without having to go up in a plane.
634
00:59:53,887 --> 00:59:56,799
- Look!
- What is he saying?
635
00:59:58,247 --> 01:00:00,238
He's coming back!
636
01:00:20,407 --> 01:00:23,046
- Who was it?
- Hungry Joe.
637
01:00:32,647 --> 01:00:37,357
We'll have to requisition
a new photographer from Group.
638
01:00:37,407 --> 01:00:39,477
Is there anything
639
01:00:40,607 --> 01:00:42,757
I can do?
640
01:00:42,807 --> 01:00:45,037
McWatt's still up there.
641
01:00:46,247 --> 01:00:50,877
- Doc Daneeka's up there, too.
- I'm right here.
642
01:00:52,767 --> 01:00:54,678
Come on down, McWatt.
643
01:00:54,727 --> 01:00:58,561
Probably afraid to come down.
He knows the trouble he's in.
644
01:01:01,967 --> 01:01:03,958
He cut his engine.
645
01:01:07,687 --> 01:01:11,123
Why doesn't Daneeka jump?
He's got a chute.
646
01:01:11,167 --> 01:01:14,364
I'm right here, Sergeant.
I'm not in the plane.
647
01:01:14,407 --> 01:01:16,557
Jump, Doc, jump!
648
01:01:17,527 --> 01:01:19,722
Jump. Jump, Doc...
649
01:01:20,687 --> 01:01:22,643
Please, jump.
650
01:01:23,527 --> 01:01:27,076
Jump. Jump!
651
01:01:39,807 --> 01:01:41,798
Poor Hungry Joe.
652
01:01:43,447 --> 01:01:47,360
- Poor McWatt.
- Poor Doc.
653
01:01:50,047 --> 01:01:52,038
Poor Doc.
654
01:01:54,047 --> 01:01:57,164
I'll need a full report on this,
Captain Yossarian.
655
01:01:59,087 --> 01:02:02,159
I haven't seen you in some time.
656
01:02:04,767 --> 01:02:06,359
Not since...
657
01:02:08,687 --> 01:02:10,757
Snowden's funeral.
658
01:02:16,247 --> 01:02:20,399
- Do you want to say something, sir?
- What?
659
01:02:20,447 --> 01:02:23,996
I just wondered
if you wanted to say anything.
660
01:02:24,047 --> 01:02:28,438
No, I didn't actually know
the young fellow.
661
01:02:28,487 --> 01:02:33,356
It was his first mission.
Did you know him, Danby?
662
01:02:33,407 --> 01:02:37,286
I don't think I ever heard the name.
What was it?
663
01:02:37,327 --> 01:02:39,397
Snowden, I think.
664
01:02:42,167 --> 01:02:44,442
I'll just read something.
665
01:02:45,207 --> 01:02:47,562
Yes, you do that.
666
01:02:51,367 --> 01:02:55,963
- Something wrong?
- No, I just thought I saw something.
667
01:02:58,647 --> 01:03:02,276
- A naked man in a tree?
- Yes, that's it.
668
01:03:06,567 --> 01:03:08,683
That's just Yossarian.
669
01:03:12,407 --> 01:03:14,682
Well, in that case...
670
01:03:15,807 --> 01:03:18,685
"The Lord is my shepherd.
671
01:03:19,647 --> 01:03:24,482
"I shall not want. He maketh me
to lie down in green pastures..."
672
01:03:28,007 --> 01:03:32,046
- I've been looking all over for you.
- You should've looked for me here.
673
01:03:32,087 --> 01:03:36,205
I don't want to butt in, but why
aren't you wearing your uniform?
674
01:03:36,247 --> 01:03:38,442
I don't want to.
675
01:03:39,687 --> 01:03:43,680
I want you to do something for me.
I want to serve this to the men.
676
01:03:43,727 --> 01:03:46,719
Taste it and let me know
what you think.
677
01:03:49,767 --> 01:03:52,839
- What is it?
- Chocolate-covered cotton.
678
01:03:54,127 --> 01:03:56,163
- Are you crazy?
- No good?
679
01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:59,438
- You didn't take the seeds out!
- Is it really that bad?
680
01:03:59,487 --> 01:04:02,320
- It's cotton!
- They've got to learn to like it.
681
01:04:02,367 --> 01:04:04,278
- Why?
- I saw an opportunity
682
01:04:04,327 --> 01:04:07,683
to corner the market in cotton.
I didn't know there'd be a glut.
683
01:04:07,727 --> 01:04:11,561
I've got warehouses full of it
all over Europe.
684
01:04:11,607 --> 01:04:15,316
People eat cotton candy. This is
better, it's made out of real cotton.
685
01:04:15,367 --> 01:04:19,326
- People can't eat cotton!
- They've got to, for the Syndicate.
686
01:04:19,367 --> 01:04:23,076
It will make them sick. Try it
yourself if you don't believe me.
687
01:04:23,127 --> 01:04:25,243
I did, and it made me sick.
688
01:04:29,007 --> 01:04:31,396
Look at that. Looks like a funeral.
689
01:04:31,447 --> 01:04:35,486
They're burying the kid
that got killed in my plane.
690
01:04:35,527 --> 01:04:39,406
- What happened to him?
- He got killed.
691
01:04:40,447 --> 01:04:42,836
- What?
- I said he got killed.
692
01:04:42,887 --> 01:04:44,923
I'm sorry.
693
01:04:48,927 --> 01:04:53,045
- He was your friend?
- Maybe. I don't know.
694
01:04:55,007 --> 01:04:57,999
- He was very old.
- But he was a boy.
695
01:04:58,047 --> 01:05:01,323
He died.
You don't get any older than that.
696
01:05:12,167 --> 01:05:15,159
- Where do you work?
- I'm not a whore.
697
01:05:15,207 --> 01:05:17,038
I didn't say you were.
698
01:05:17,087 --> 01:05:20,477
- I work in big American company.
- Me, too!
699
01:05:22,567 --> 01:05:27,118
- You want to see me again? Why?
- Why not?
700
01:05:28,247 --> 01:05:30,317
You think I'm beautiful?
701
01:05:30,367 --> 01:05:33,837
- I think you're perfect.
- That's not true.
702
01:05:33,887 --> 01:05:35,843
It is true.
703
01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:39,122
See this?
704
01:05:39,927 --> 01:05:43,476
- Jesus, how did you...?
- Air raid.
705
01:05:44,447 --> 01:05:47,598
- Germans?
- Americani.
706
01:05:56,047 --> 01:05:58,515
You do not want me now?
707
01:05:59,527 --> 01:06:02,439
What are you talking about?
I want you now.
708
01:06:02,487 --> 01:06:04,762
- I want you to marry me.
- You crazy.
709
01:06:04,807 --> 01:06:07,241
- Why?
- You can't want to marry me.
710
01:06:07,287 --> 01:06:09,847
- Why not?
- I'm not a virgin.
711
01:06:09,887 --> 01:06:12,606
- So?
- Nobody wants a girl who isn't.
712
01:06:12,647 --> 01:06:16,037
- I do. I wanna marry you.
- Not possible.
713
01:06:16,087 --> 01:06:18,317
- Why not?
- Because you're crazy.
714
01:06:18,367 --> 01:06:21,803
- Why am I crazy?
- Because you want to marry me.
715
01:06:21,847 --> 01:06:25,886
You won't marry me because I'm crazy.
I'm crazy because I wanna marry you?
716
01:06:25,927 --> 01:06:28,395
- You're crazy.
- Why?
717
01:06:29,487 --> 01:06:31,717
Because I love you.
718
01:06:34,687 --> 01:06:38,123
How can you love a girl
who is not a virgin?
719
01:06:38,167 --> 01:06:40,522
Because I can't marry you.
720
01:06:40,567 --> 01:06:43,843
Why you can't marry me?
Because I'm not a virgin?
721
01:06:43,887 --> 01:06:47,562
- No, because you're crazy!
- You're crazy!
722
01:06:49,127 --> 01:06:51,595
- You all crazy!
- Why are we crazy?
723
01:06:51,647 --> 01:06:54,684
Because you don't know
how to stay alive
724
01:06:54,727 --> 01:06:56,922
and that's the secret of life.
725
01:06:56,967 --> 01:06:59,003
But we have a war to win.
726
01:07:00,407 --> 01:07:04,002
But America will lose the war.
Italy will win it.
727
01:07:04,047 --> 01:07:06,515
America's the strongest nation
on earth.
728
01:07:06,567 --> 01:07:09,286
The American fighting man
is the best trained,
729
01:07:09,327 --> 01:07:11,363
the best equipped, the best fed...
730
01:07:11,407 --> 01:07:16,037
Italy, on the other hand, is one
of the weakest nations on earth
731
01:07:16,087 --> 01:07:21,002
and the Italian fighting man
is hardly equipped at all.
732
01:07:21,047 --> 01:07:26,041
That's why my country is doing so
well while yours is doing so poorly.
733
01:07:26,927 --> 01:07:31,842
That's silly! First Italy was
occupied by Germans and now by us.
734
01:07:31,887 --> 01:07:35,084
- You call that doing well?
- Of course I do.
735
01:07:35,127 --> 01:07:38,483
The Germans are being driven out
and we are still here.
736
01:07:38,527 --> 01:07:41,917
In a few years, you'll be gone
and we'll still be here.
737
01:07:41,967 --> 01:07:45,118
Italy is a very poor, weak country
738
01:07:45,167 --> 01:07:48,523
yet that is what makes us so strong,
739
01:07:48,567 --> 01:07:54,005
strong enough to survive this war
and still be in existence
740
01:07:54,047 --> 01:07:57,164
long after your country
has been destroyed.
741
01:07:57,207 --> 01:08:00,404
What are you talking about?
America's not going to be destroyed.
742
01:08:00,447 --> 01:08:04,076
- Never?
- Well...
743
01:08:04,127 --> 01:08:07,278
Rome was destroyed.
Greece was destroyed.
744
01:08:07,327 --> 01:08:11,115
Persia was destroyed.
Spain was destroyed.
745
01:08:11,167 --> 01:08:15,843
All great countries are destroyed.
Why not yours?
746
01:08:15,887 --> 01:08:20,915
How much longer do you think
your country will last? Forever?
747
01:08:26,247 --> 01:08:30,638
- Forever is a long time, I guess.
- Very long.
748
01:08:35,047 --> 01:08:39,518
- Please, we're talking.
- We go to bed now?
749
01:08:39,567 --> 01:08:43,685
Would you go put some clothes on?
You're practically naked.
750
01:08:46,927 --> 01:08:49,202
I wish she wouldn't
walk around like that.
751
01:08:49,247 --> 01:08:52,319
It is her business
to walk around like that.
752
01:08:52,367 --> 01:08:55,564
- But it's not nice.
- Of course it's nice.
753
01:08:55,607 --> 01:08:58,167
She's nice to look at.
754
01:08:59,287 --> 01:09:02,962
This life is not nice.
I don't want her to do this.
755
01:09:03,007 --> 01:09:07,125
- When we go to America, Nately?
- When we go to America, Nately?
756
01:09:07,167 --> 01:09:12,400
You will take her to America?
Away from a healthy, active life?
757
01:09:12,447 --> 01:09:17,680
Away from good business
opportunities? Away from her friends?
758
01:09:17,727 --> 01:09:21,959
- Don't you have any principles?
- Of course not.
759
01:09:22,007 --> 01:09:26,285
- No morality?
- I'm a very moral man.
760
01:09:27,767 --> 01:09:29,758
And Italy is a very moral country.
761
01:09:29,807 --> 01:09:33,686
That's why we will certainly
come out on top again
762
01:09:33,727 --> 01:09:36,764
if we succeed in being defeated.
763
01:09:36,807 --> 01:09:42,006
- You talk like a madman.
- But I live like a sane one.
764
01:09:43,727 --> 01:09:46,764
I was a Fascist
when Mussolini was on top.
765
01:09:46,807 --> 01:09:50,846
Now that he has been deposed,
I am anti-Fascist.
766
01:09:52,167 --> 01:09:56,206
When the Germans were here,
I was fanatically pro-German.
767
01:09:56,247 --> 01:09:58,841
Now I'm fanatically pro-America!
768
01:10:00,007 --> 01:10:05,001
You'll find no more loyal partisan
in all of Italy than myself.
769
01:10:05,927 --> 01:10:08,680
You're a shameful opportunist!
770
01:10:08,727 --> 01:10:12,686
It's better to die on your feet
than to live on your knees.
771
01:10:12,727 --> 01:10:15,195
You have it backwards.
772
01:10:15,247 --> 01:10:21,516
It's better to live on your feet
than to die on your knees. I know.
773
01:10:22,567 --> 01:10:27,595
- How do you know?
- Because I am 107 years old.
774
01:10:30,527 --> 01:10:32,643
How old are you?
775
01:10:33,567 --> 01:10:35,558
I'll be 20 in January.
776
01:10:36,807 --> 01:10:38,877
If you live.
777
01:10:46,567 --> 01:10:48,558
How are ya, how are ya?
778
01:10:49,247 --> 01:10:52,603
We gotta go back.
All the leaves have been cancelled.
779
01:10:52,647 --> 01:10:54,365
Hello, my dear.
780
01:10:54,407 --> 01:10:58,685
You give me a dollar? I pay you back
when we get to America.
781
01:10:58,727 --> 01:11:02,606
Just one... Just one.
One! Gimme that.
782
01:11:03,487 --> 01:11:06,285
Come on, Dobbs.
Milo's gonna fly us back.
783
01:11:06,327 --> 01:11:09,160
- Why are the leaves cancelled?
- I don't know.
784
01:11:09,207 --> 01:11:12,244
Milo says the base is on
some kind of alert.
785
01:11:12,287 --> 01:11:15,802
Cathcart raised
the number of missions to 80.
786
01:11:17,807 --> 01:11:21,641
He's mad because Captain Orr
lost another airplane.
787
01:11:21,687 --> 01:11:24,155
- Where?
- Ditched coming back from Bologna.
788
01:11:24,207 --> 01:11:28,485
- Went down in the Mediterranean.
- Air-Sea Rescue out there?
789
01:11:31,967 --> 01:11:34,356
They picked up everybody but Orr.
790
01:11:45,607 --> 01:11:49,566
Will you fellas stay away
from the airstrip tonight?
791
01:11:50,567 --> 01:11:54,116
- What for?
- Just do as I say.
792
01:11:55,167 --> 01:11:58,443
- Stay in your tents.
- Why?
793
01:12:00,367 --> 01:12:02,676
- There it is.
- What?
794
01:12:02,727 --> 01:12:05,321
Orr's plane!
795
01:12:06,447 --> 01:12:09,996
He'll find his way back.
He always does.
796
01:12:10,047 --> 01:12:14,677
He'll turn up. He'll sneak in
with that rat-toothed giggle.
797
01:12:17,567 --> 01:12:22,038
Aarfy, if anything happens to me,
will you take care of my girl?
798
01:12:22,087 --> 01:12:26,160
- Listen to him, his girl!
- Don't worry.
799
01:12:26,207 --> 01:12:30,359
Nothing's gonna happen to you
that won't happen to the rest of us.
800
01:12:56,727 --> 01:13:00,356
- I'll be through in a minute.
- No, you won't. You always say that,
801
01:13:00,407 --> 01:13:05,117
then I watch you fit some tiny thing
into that masterpiece of junk.
802
01:13:05,167 --> 01:13:10,195
- Then I guess you haven't seen it.
- You guess I haven't seen what?
803
01:13:10,247 --> 01:13:15,958
A little square gasket,
about this big. Have you seen it?
804
01:13:16,007 --> 01:13:20,239
- I'll have to start all over again.
- Please don't do that.
805
01:13:20,287 --> 01:13:23,757
- Why?
- It gives me a terrible pain.
806
01:13:23,807 --> 01:13:26,958
- Why?
- Why what?
807
01:13:27,007 --> 01:13:28,998
Why won't you fly with me?
808
01:13:29,047 --> 01:13:33,120
What's that got to do with the pain
that you and your bolts give me?
809
01:13:33,167 --> 01:13:35,681
It's got everything to do with it.
810
01:13:35,727 --> 01:13:37,922
Are you trying to tell me something?
811
01:13:37,967 --> 01:13:41,926
Just that if you were smart,
you'd fly with me.
812
01:13:41,967 --> 01:13:47,166
- You've cracked up three planes.
- Four. I'm a good pilot.
813
01:13:47,207 --> 01:13:50,358
- I don't want to end up in the sea.
- You'd thank me.
814
01:13:50,407 --> 01:13:53,558
- For drowning me?
- For finishing this stove.
815
01:13:53,607 --> 01:13:56,804
Winter's coming.
You'll have heat, hot water...
816
01:13:56,847 --> 01:13:59,919
You'll be able to boil eggs
and everything.
817
01:13:59,967 --> 01:14:04,757
- Me? Where are you gonna be?
- I dunno. Here and there.
818
01:14:04,807 --> 01:14:08,846
No one wants to fly with you.
You're a one-man disaster area.
819
01:14:08,887 --> 01:14:12,038
- They're crazy.
- I agree with them.
820
01:14:12,687 --> 01:14:14,678
You're crazy.
821
01:15:42,087 --> 01:15:44,282
- Orr?
- He's dead.
822
01:15:44,327 --> 01:15:47,717
- Who's "he"?
- He's just a kid from my home town.
823
01:15:47,767 --> 01:15:51,396
He just died. They came
from the States to see him.
824
01:15:51,447 --> 01:15:54,166
- Get in the bed, will you?
- What?
825
01:15:54,207 --> 01:15:58,564
His mother, father and brother flew
out here. They know he's dying.
826
01:15:58,607 --> 01:16:01,599
- What do you want me to do?
- Be him.
827
01:16:01,647 --> 01:16:04,719
Just for a few minutes,
then they'll go.
828
01:16:04,767 --> 01:16:08,043
They came 5,000 miles
to see you before you die.
829
01:16:08,087 --> 01:16:11,523
- I'm not dying!
- Of course you are. We all are.
830
01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:14,445
They'll know.
They came to see their son.
831
01:16:14,487 --> 01:16:16,284
They'll take what they can get.
832
01:16:16,327 --> 01:16:19,683
One dying boy
is as good as another. Or as bad!
833
01:16:19,727 --> 01:16:22,924
- It won't work.
- These people have come a long way.
834
01:16:22,967 --> 01:16:26,801
I don't want to disappoint them.
I'm sentimental about old people.
835
01:16:26,847 --> 01:16:30,726
- What if they start crying?
- They probably will start crying.
836
01:16:30,767 --> 01:16:35,602
I'll wait outside and if it gets
sticky I'll come in and break it up.
837
01:16:37,687 --> 01:16:39,678
It's not gonna work.
838
01:16:39,727 --> 01:16:42,764
Do this for me
and I'll do something for you.
839
01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:45,719
- Will you ground me?
- I can't.
840
01:16:45,767 --> 01:16:49,601
You can fill out a slip saying I'm
on the verge of a nervous collapse.
841
01:16:49,647 --> 01:16:51,683
Sure I can.
842
01:17:00,487 --> 01:17:02,478
But there's a catch.
843
01:17:04,767 --> 01:17:09,318
- Catch-22.
- Group won't approve my action.
844
01:17:09,367 --> 01:17:14,236
They'll put you back on combat status
and send me to rot in the Pacific.
845
01:17:14,287 --> 01:17:17,359
- My God, here they are.
- Start dying.
846
01:17:17,407 --> 01:17:21,798
Do this for me and I'll send you
to Rome on a five-day R and R.
847
01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:40,603
He looks terrible.
848
01:17:40,647 --> 01:17:44,037
- He's sick, Pa.
- Harvey.
849
01:17:46,007 --> 01:17:51,286
- My name is Yossarian.
- His name is Yossarian, Ma.
850
01:17:51,327 --> 01:17:54,717
Yossarian, don't you recognise me?
851
01:17:54,767 --> 01:17:59,204
I'm your brother John.
Don't you know who I am?
852
01:17:59,247 --> 01:18:02,762
- Sure I do. You're my brother John.
- Pa, he knows me.
853
01:18:02,807 --> 01:18:08,040
Yossarian, look, here's Papa.
Say hello to Papa.
854
01:18:08,087 --> 01:18:11,045
- Hello, Papa.
- Hello, Harvey.
855
01:18:11,087 --> 01:18:14,523
- His name is Yossarian, Pa.
- He looks so bad.
856
01:18:14,567 --> 01:18:18,321
He's very sick.
The doctor says he's gonna die.
857
01:18:21,007 --> 01:18:23,567
Ma, his name is Yossarian.
858
01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:27,806
She doesn't remember things too good.
859
01:18:27,847 --> 01:18:32,204
It's OK. She can call me Harvey
if she wants to.
860
01:18:41,127 --> 01:18:44,119
Don't worry.
Everything's gonna be all right.
861
01:18:44,167 --> 01:18:46,158
I know.
862
01:18:50,327 --> 01:18:54,605
We came from New York. We were
afraid we wouldn't get here in time.
863
01:18:55,567 --> 01:18:59,879
- In time for what?
- To see you before you died.
864
01:19:00,767 --> 01:19:03,406
What difference would it make?
865
01:19:03,447 --> 01:19:06,723
We didn't want you to die
by yourself.
866
01:19:06,767 --> 01:19:08,997
What difference would it make?
867
01:19:09,047 --> 01:19:13,040
He's getting delirious.
He keeps repeating the same thing.
868
01:19:14,327 --> 01:19:16,636
It's not Harvey, it's Yossarian.
869
01:19:16,687 --> 01:19:19,679
What difference does it make?
He's dying.
870
01:19:45,167 --> 01:19:49,285
Listen, kid, it's not bad.
871
01:19:52,847 --> 01:19:55,566
I'm gonna put a tourniquet on it.
872
01:20:27,447 --> 01:20:32,362
There. It's good.
It's a good bandage.
873
01:20:32,407 --> 01:20:34,079
Cold.
874
01:20:35,087 --> 01:20:37,476
Cold. God.
875
01:20:37,527 --> 01:20:42,043
It's gonna be OK, kid.
We'll be home soon.
876
01:20:52,807 --> 01:20:54,798
Does the leg still hurt?
877
01:21:05,127 --> 01:21:07,083
You in there?
878
01:21:08,687 --> 01:21:12,965
- Is that Orr, you son of a bitch?
- It's me, Nately.
879
01:21:13,007 --> 01:21:16,682
Nately. What's happening?
Jesus, it's 3:30 in the morning.
880
01:21:16,727 --> 01:21:21,198
It's Dobbs, we've got to stop him.
He's gonna kill the Colonel.
881
01:21:21,247 --> 01:21:25,957
Cathcart?
Dobbs is gonna kill Colonel Cathcart?
882
01:22:03,207 --> 01:22:05,243
What's the matter with you?
883
01:22:05,287 --> 01:22:07,847
Nothing. It's the first sane thing
I've ever done.
884
01:22:07,887 --> 01:22:11,562
- They'll get you for murder!
- Old Cathcart's the murderer!
885
01:22:11,607 --> 01:22:14,883
- Come on, gimme the gun!
- Take it easy.
886
01:22:14,927 --> 01:22:18,203
- You just got a few more missions.
- You're crazy!
887
01:22:18,247 --> 01:22:21,239
He'll raise the number again
and you know it!
888
01:22:21,287 --> 01:22:24,484
He'll keep us flying missions
till we're all dead.
889
01:22:24,527 --> 01:22:26,518
What do you care?
890
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:30,116
You don't wanna go home,
you're in love with that whore.
891
01:22:30,167 --> 01:22:32,920
You're talking about my fianc�e.
892
01:22:32,967 --> 01:22:35,606
The fianc�e any guy
with ten bucks in his pocket,
893
01:22:35,647 --> 01:22:38,207
who's happy to risk a dose of disease
894
01:22:38,247 --> 01:22:41,876
for 15 minutes of phoney moans
on a dirty mattress!
895
01:23:03,047 --> 01:23:05,197
I think I hurt him.
896
01:23:12,047 --> 01:23:14,402
He'll be all right.
897
01:23:14,447 --> 01:23:16,438
Here he comes!
898
01:23:17,727 --> 01:23:19,843
- Gimme the gun!
- No, listen!
899
01:23:19,887 --> 01:23:23,846
If he raises the number again,
I swear I'll help you kill him!
900
01:23:23,887 --> 01:23:26,242
- Really?
- I swear it.
901
01:23:26,287 --> 01:23:28,847
That's very reasonable of you.
902
01:23:29,567 --> 01:23:32,161
- Something's going on.
- What do you mean?
903
01:23:32,207 --> 01:23:35,199
Milo and the Colonel
are up to something.
904
01:23:35,247 --> 01:23:37,283
They've been planning something
up there.
905
01:23:37,327 --> 01:23:40,000
- What's he doing?
- Something. I dunno.
906
01:23:50,647 --> 01:23:53,764
Why didn't they turn their lights on?
What the fuck...!
907
01:24:01,287 --> 01:24:03,243
Yossarian, listen!
908
01:24:06,047 --> 01:24:09,960
- What is this?
- Look!
909
01:24:16,247 --> 01:24:18,602
Jesus Christ!
910
01:24:18,647 --> 01:24:21,400
Run, run!
911
01:24:38,887 --> 01:24:41,003
All right, Number 1 and 2,
that was good.
912
01:24:41,047 --> 01:24:43,038
Thank you. What shall I do now?
913
01:24:43,087 --> 01:24:47,160
Bank left and wait for instructions.
All right, Number 3.
914
01:24:47,207 --> 01:24:50,882
Be careful not to hit our storehouses
at the end of the field.
915
01:24:50,927 --> 01:24:55,603
Direct hit on the mess hall,
if you please. And Number 3...
916
01:24:55,647 --> 01:24:57,638
Hold on, Number 3.
917
01:24:59,087 --> 01:25:01,282
Yossarian, get off the field.
918
01:25:01,327 --> 01:25:05,366
Take cover, Yossarian. You, too,
Dobbs. Right, Number 3, let 'em go.
919
01:25:11,487 --> 01:25:13,364
Bastards! Get out of here!
920
01:25:13,407 --> 01:25:17,480
Cut that out. Those are our
men you're shooting at. Take cover.
921
01:25:17,527 --> 01:25:19,597
This is
an M&M Enterprises operation.
922
01:25:23,207 --> 01:25:26,483
Number 4 and 5, Number 3 did not get
those supply sheds.
923
01:25:26,527 --> 01:25:30,156
I told you men to come in low.
Let's get right on target this time.
924
01:25:30,207 --> 01:25:32,198
Shoddy work will not do.
925
01:25:49,287 --> 01:25:52,882
What are you doing, Yossarian?
Get off the field!
926
01:25:55,927 --> 01:25:59,806
I'll see you later. You're confined
to the base. I won't forget this.
927
01:25:59,847 --> 01:26:01,838
The Air Force won't forget this.
928
01:26:01,887 --> 01:26:06,881
Don't be ridiculous! What's good
for M&M is good for the Air Force.
929
01:26:06,927 --> 01:26:10,078
- There goes the bomb dump!
- We had to get rid of that cotton.
930
01:26:10,127 --> 01:26:13,278
The Germans
promised to take it off our hands
931
01:26:13,327 --> 01:26:15,887
if we ran this mission for them.
932
01:26:15,927 --> 01:26:18,999
- It's all part of the deal.
- There goes the Officers' Club!
933
01:26:19,047 --> 01:26:21,402
You made a deal
to bomb our own base?
934
01:26:21,447 --> 01:26:25,759
A contract is a contract.
That's what we're fighting for.
935
01:26:25,807 --> 01:26:29,356
Lieutenant Minderbinder speaking.
Will you clear the field, please?
936
01:26:29,407 --> 01:26:33,764
- We will soon begin to strafe.
- Strafe?
937
01:26:33,807 --> 01:26:36,879
- It's all in the contract.
- There goes Headquarters!
938
01:27:07,967 --> 01:27:10,561
- What's that?
- He said, "Nately".
939
01:27:10,607 --> 01:27:13,041
- Nately is dead.
- I know.
940
01:27:13,087 --> 01:27:15,999
- Who's dead?
- You're not.
941
01:27:16,047 --> 01:27:18,242
You will be if we don't get at
that knife wound.
942
01:27:18,287 --> 01:27:20,596
- What's happening?
- We're operating.
943
01:27:20,647 --> 01:27:23,207
We're gonna take a look inside you.
944
01:27:23,247 --> 01:27:26,603
We're gonna clean you out
and stitch you up.
945
01:27:34,047 --> 01:27:36,515
We've got your pal.
946
01:27:37,767 --> 01:27:39,723
You heard me.
947
01:27:39,767 --> 01:27:41,678
We've got your pal.
948
01:27:42,807 --> 01:27:44,604
Who's my pal?
949
01:27:44,647 --> 01:27:47,684
- What's he saying?
- Something about his pal.
950
01:27:47,727 --> 01:27:51,879
- Who's his pal?
- I don't know, maybe it's Nately.
951
01:27:51,927 --> 01:27:52,916
Nately's dead.
952
01:28:11,007 --> 01:28:14,079
I wouldn't go in there.
Looks like something's happened.
953
01:28:14,127 --> 01:28:18,564
I gotta go find Nately's whore.
I gotta tell her he's dead.
954
01:28:23,767 --> 01:28:25,564
Wanna come with me?
955
01:28:25,607 --> 01:28:29,486
Not now. I promised her
some stockings and cigarettes.
956
01:28:29,527 --> 01:28:33,236
For her family. I know them.
First-class people.
957
01:28:35,247 --> 01:28:38,284
- I'll see you later.
- Sure.
958
01:28:48,607 --> 01:28:51,201
Yes, we're going. Up to my room.
959
01:28:53,487 --> 01:28:55,478
You better get off the streets soon.
960
01:28:55,527 --> 01:28:58,405
It's almost curfew,
you don't have a pass.
961
01:29:31,167 --> 01:29:35,445
- What happened?
- Gone. All gone.
962
01:29:35,487 --> 01:29:38,399
- Who?
- All the poor young girls.
963
01:29:38,447 --> 01:29:41,359
All gone. Taken away.
964
01:29:42,367 --> 01:29:46,201
- Who took 'em away?
- The white-hats.
965
01:29:46,247 --> 01:29:50,923
- The white-hats... The MPs?
- Yes, the MPs.
966
01:29:53,727 --> 01:29:58,403
- Where did they take 'em?
- Who knows? All gone.
967
01:30:03,567 --> 01:30:06,604
- Where's the old man?
- Gone.
968
01:30:06,647 --> 01:30:09,923
- Gone where?
- Dead.
969
01:30:09,967 --> 01:30:11,719
What?
970
01:30:11,767 --> 01:30:15,442
He was alive one minute,
then he was dead.
971
01:30:15,487 --> 01:30:18,718
- He can't be.
- Why not?
972
01:30:26,567 --> 01:30:29,604
Where did they take the girls?
Did they arrest them?
973
01:30:29,647 --> 01:30:33,640
I don't know.
They just came in and took them.
974
01:30:35,287 --> 01:30:39,599
They must have had a reason.
They couldn't just drag them away.
975
01:30:39,647 --> 01:30:41,638
No reason.
976
01:30:43,327 --> 01:30:46,717
- What right did they have?
- Catch-22.
977
01:30:57,607 --> 01:30:59,916
What? What did you say?
978
01:30:59,967 --> 01:31:02,162
Catch-22.
979
01:31:11,527 --> 01:31:14,200
How do you know it was Catch-22?
980
01:31:14,247 --> 01:31:18,286
The girls said,
"Why are you taking us away?"
981
01:31:18,327 --> 01:31:21,239
The men said, "Catch-22."
982
01:31:21,287 --> 01:31:24,802
The girls said,
"What right do you have?"
983
01:31:24,847 --> 01:31:27,361
The men said, "Catch-22."
984
01:31:27,407 --> 01:31:32,083
All they kept saying was,
"Catch-22, Catch-22."
985
01:31:32,127 --> 01:31:34,277
What does it mean?
986
01:31:34,327 --> 01:31:36,887
Didn't they show it to you?
987
01:31:37,647 --> 01:31:41,686
- They don't have to show it to us.
- Who says so?
988
01:31:41,727 --> 01:31:45,436
- The law says so.
- What law?
989
01:31:45,487 --> 01:31:47,478
Catch-22.
990
01:33:28,887 --> 01:33:32,960
Milo, I'm gonna kill you,
you murdering son of a bitch!
991
01:33:34,567 --> 01:33:39,243
Don't hurt him. I know how you feel,
but it wasn't my fault.
992
01:33:39,287 --> 01:33:41,437
- Who's fault was it?
- No one's.
993
01:33:41,487 --> 01:33:44,479
Nately was the victim
of certain economic pressures,
994
01:33:44,527 --> 01:33:48,520
- the laws of supply and demand.
- You unbelievable bastard!
995
01:33:53,767 --> 01:33:56,759
- Do you want me to take you to her?
- Who?
996
01:33:56,807 --> 01:33:59,799
Nately's whore.
Aren't you looking for her?
997
01:33:59,847 --> 01:34:02,998
- Do you know where she is?
- Of course I do.
998
01:34:19,767 --> 01:34:23,521
You're AWOL, Yossarian.
I thought you knew better than that.
999
01:34:23,567 --> 01:34:27,321
- Nately wouldn't be that dumb.
- He's dead.
1000
01:34:27,367 --> 01:34:30,757
- It's too bad. He was nice.
- Your boys made a direct hit on him.
1001
01:34:30,807 --> 01:34:33,958
But he died a rich man. He had
over 60 shares in the Syndicate.
1002
01:34:34,007 --> 01:34:36,282
- He's dead.
- His family will get it.
1003
01:34:36,327 --> 01:34:38,477
- He didn't have one.
- Then his parents get it.
1004
01:34:38,527 --> 01:34:42,679
- They don't need it, they're rich.
- Then they'll understand.
1005
01:34:48,687 --> 01:34:50,882
Ask for number 33.
1006
01:35:55,287 --> 01:35:58,324
- I didn't know.
- That I work for Milo?
1007
01:35:58,367 --> 01:36:00,597
Everybody works for Milo.
1008
01:36:03,487 --> 01:36:06,524
He told me to ask for number 33.
1009
01:36:12,807 --> 01:36:14,957
Ten dollars, please.
1010
01:36:21,527 --> 01:36:23,518
No towel?
1011
01:36:36,367 --> 01:36:39,359
- Hello, Yossarian.
- Hi, kid.
1012
01:36:45,607 --> 01:36:48,405
- Where's your sister?
- In there.
1013
01:36:48,447 --> 01:36:50,597
- You give me a dollar?
- Yeah.
1014
01:36:50,647 --> 01:36:53,844
- We go to America soon?
- Sure, kid.
1015
01:37:03,767 --> 01:37:06,839
- You make love now?
- No, no. Listen...
1016
01:37:06,887 --> 01:37:10,357
- I have to tell you something.
- Nately?
1017
01:37:13,007 --> 01:37:16,636
- He's coming?
- No, not exactly.
1018
01:37:18,607 --> 01:37:23,203
- We go to America soon?
- Yeah. Listen...
1019
01:37:23,247 --> 01:37:26,159
- When we go?
- Listen...
1020
01:37:29,487 --> 01:37:31,478
Nately's dead.
1021
01:37:39,607 --> 01:37:41,598
It wasn't me!
1022
01:37:44,327 --> 01:37:46,443
It's not my fault!
1023
01:37:47,727 --> 01:37:49,843
He was my friend, you dumb bitch!
1024
01:41:19,607 --> 01:41:23,520
- I only raped her once.
- You killed her.
1025
01:41:23,567 --> 01:41:25,523
I had to after I raped her.
1026
01:41:25,567 --> 01:41:28,081
She couldn't go round
saying bad things about me.
1027
01:41:28,127 --> 01:41:31,756
You dumb bastard, why didn't you get
some girl off the streets?
1028
01:41:31,807 --> 01:41:34,446
Not me.
I never paid for it in my life.
1029
01:41:38,247 --> 01:41:41,956
- Come on, get back!
- Back up, folks.
1030
01:41:50,127 --> 01:41:53,915
Aarfy, are you insane?
They're gonna throw you in jail.
1031
01:41:55,407 --> 01:41:58,717
You just killed a girl.
She's lying in the street!
1032
01:41:58,767 --> 01:42:02,077
She has no right to be there,
you know. It's after curfew.
1033
01:42:15,047 --> 01:42:17,083
Don't you realise what you've done?
1034
01:42:18,007 --> 01:42:21,443
You've murdered a human being!
They can hang you!
1035
01:42:21,487 --> 01:42:25,196
I don't think they'll do that,
not to good old Aarfy.
1036
01:42:25,247 --> 01:42:29,923
They won't care about one girl
when thousands die every day.
1037
01:42:29,967 --> 01:42:32,959
They're coming for you.
They're coming to arrest you.
1038
01:42:33,007 --> 01:42:36,795
You can't take the life of another
human being and get away with it!
1039
01:42:36,847 --> 01:42:38,838
They're coming to get you!
1040
01:42:53,567 --> 01:42:56,525
- You're under arrest.
- But I didn't...
1041
01:42:57,367 --> 01:42:59,483
You're AWOL.
1042
01:43:04,687 --> 01:43:06,678
- We're sending you home.
- What?
1043
01:43:08,247 --> 01:43:10,807
I said we're sending you home.
1044
01:43:10,847 --> 01:43:15,637
You have been making things terribly
difficult for Colonel Cathcart.
1045
01:43:16,407 --> 01:43:21,162
The men are unhappy, morale is
deteriorating. It's all your fault.
1046
01:43:21,207 --> 01:43:23,562
It's his,
for raising the number of missions.
1047
01:43:23,607 --> 01:43:27,486
- It's your fault for not flying.
- Have you no patriotism?
1048
01:43:27,527 --> 01:43:31,759
Wouldn't you give your life for your
country? For Colonel Korn and me?
1049
01:43:31,807 --> 01:43:35,163
What have you and Colonel Korn
got to do with my country?
1050
01:43:35,207 --> 01:43:39,439
You're a disgrace to your country!
How did you get to be a captain?
1051
01:43:39,487 --> 01:43:43,685
- You promoted me.
- That has got nothing to do with it!
1052
01:43:43,727 --> 01:43:45,718
Let me. Let me.
1053
01:43:46,647 --> 01:43:51,675
Captain, I'd like to appeal to
your better judgment one more time.
1054
01:43:51,727 --> 01:43:55,879
There's a mission about to start.
You can get on that plane,
1055
01:43:55,927 --> 01:43:59,363
and we'll pretend
that all of this never happened.
1056
01:44:01,807 --> 01:44:05,925
Won't it make you feel proud
to know you served in an outfit
1057
01:44:05,967 --> 01:44:08,925
that averaged more combat missions
than any other?
1058
01:44:08,967 --> 01:44:11,276
Don't you want more unit citations
1059
01:44:11,327 --> 01:44:14,444
and oak-leaf clusters
on your Air Medal?
1060
01:44:14,487 --> 01:44:19,766
Don't you want to contribute more to
the record by flying more missions?
1061
01:44:23,127 --> 01:44:26,642
In that case,
we'll just have to send you home.
1062
01:44:27,767 --> 01:44:29,758
Of course, there's one catch.
1063
01:44:31,247 --> 01:44:33,283
Yeah? What's that?
1064
01:44:34,367 --> 01:44:38,918
We will issue orders
sending you back to the States
1065
01:44:38,967 --> 01:44:43,324
and there's one thing
you have to do for us in return.
1066
01:44:43,367 --> 01:44:45,358
What would that be?
1067
01:44:53,687 --> 01:44:55,996
Like us.
1068
01:45:11,727 --> 01:45:13,718
Like you?
1069
01:45:15,407 --> 01:45:17,398
Like us.
1070
01:45:17,447 --> 01:45:20,996
You'll be surprised how easy it is
once you begin.
1071
01:45:21,047 --> 01:45:24,517
You see, we're going to put you
on Easy Street.
1072
01:45:24,567 --> 01:45:27,764
- Promote you to Major.
- Give you another medal.
1073
01:45:27,807 --> 01:45:32,085
- Send you home a hero.
- You'll have parades in your honour.
1074
01:45:32,127 --> 01:45:35,324
You can make speeches,
raise money for war bonds.
1075
01:45:35,367 --> 01:45:41,237
- All you have to do is be our pal.
- Say nice things about us.
1076
01:45:41,287 --> 01:45:44,723
Tell the folks at home
what a good job we're doing.
1077
01:45:48,767 --> 01:45:50,598
Take our offer.
1078
01:45:51,487 --> 01:45:55,719
It's either that
or a court-martial for desertion.
1079
01:46:02,247 --> 01:46:06,604
What about the others?
I'd be playing a dirty trick on them.
1080
01:46:06,647 --> 01:46:09,081
They'll be happier when you're gone.
1081
01:46:09,127 --> 01:46:12,517
They won't even think about you.
They have a war to win.
1082
01:46:18,487 --> 01:46:22,321
If they don't want to fly
any more missions, let them say so.
1083
01:46:22,367 --> 01:46:25,643
- Precisely.
- Exactly.
1084
01:46:29,167 --> 01:46:31,158
It's a deal.
1085
01:47:20,607 --> 01:47:23,041
Help! Help!
1086
01:47:46,367 --> 01:47:47,880
Help him!
1087
01:47:47,927 --> 01:47:50,680
- What?
- Help him! Help him!
1088
01:47:50,727 --> 01:47:53,241
- Help who?
- Help the bombardier!
1089
01:47:53,287 --> 01:47:57,519
- I'm the bombardier, I'm all right.
- Then help him. Help him!
1090
01:48:09,807 --> 01:48:11,957
I'm cold.
1091
01:48:12,007 --> 01:48:14,567
I'm cold. God.
1092
01:48:15,167 --> 01:48:19,126
It's gonna be OK, kid.
We'll be home soon.
1093
01:48:30,127 --> 01:48:33,085
- Does the leg still hurt?
- No.
1094
01:49:03,047 --> 01:49:05,038
There, there.
1095
01:49:12,887 --> 01:49:14,878
There, there.
1096
01:49:16,847 --> 01:49:18,838
There, there.
1097
01:49:44,927 --> 01:49:48,124
- May we come in?
- Sure.
1098
01:49:48,167 --> 01:49:50,476
I see you're all alone.
1099
01:49:50,527 --> 01:49:52,677
Well, you're going home.
1100
01:49:55,207 --> 01:49:58,643
- I don't know if I am.
- I've got your orders right here.
1101
01:49:58,687 --> 01:50:02,919
That parade they're rehearsing
is for you. You're a hero.
1102
01:50:02,967 --> 01:50:06,846
You're gonna get a medal for
stopping that Nazi killing Cathcart.
1103
01:50:07,527 --> 01:50:11,918
That wasn't a Nazi.
That was Nately's whore.
1104
01:50:11,967 --> 01:50:15,846
She tried to kill me
because I told her about Nately.
1105
01:50:18,247 --> 01:50:21,683
- But the Colonel said that...
- It's a deal I made with them.
1106
01:50:21,727 --> 01:50:23,718
They send me home a hero
1107
01:50:23,767 --> 01:50:27,316
and I say wonderful things
about them back in the States.
1108
01:50:35,567 --> 01:50:37,842
That's a lousy deal, isn't it?
1109
01:50:40,247 --> 01:50:43,398
- Isn't it?
- Well...
1110
01:50:46,367 --> 01:50:48,676
Isn't it?
1111
01:50:48,727 --> 01:50:51,719
I don't know,
I'm not here to judge you.
1112
01:50:51,767 --> 01:50:53,962
What are you here for?
1113
01:50:55,247 --> 01:50:57,886
I'm not too sure about that either.
1114
01:50:59,967 --> 01:51:02,276
What would you do if you were me?
1115
01:51:04,047 --> 01:51:07,437
I don't know. I mean, I'm not you.
1116
01:51:09,367 --> 01:51:11,562
Imagine that you are me.
1117
01:51:13,887 --> 01:51:19,086
That's hard. Sometimes I even have
trouble imagining that I'm me,
1118
01:51:19,127 --> 01:51:21,118
if you know what I mean.
1119
01:51:24,847 --> 01:51:27,202
I'm gonna call the deal off.
1120
01:51:27,247 --> 01:51:31,126
Let them send me home
cos I've flown over 50 missions.
1121
01:51:31,167 --> 01:51:33,727
Then they'd have
to send home every man.
1122
01:51:33,767 --> 01:51:36,520
- That's their problem.
- It's your problem.
1123
01:51:36,567 --> 01:51:40,355
- They'll court-martial you.
- Make the best of a bad situation.
1124
01:51:40,407 --> 01:51:43,285
- No.
- No what?
1125
01:51:45,367 --> 01:51:49,246
I've been lying in this bed
for three weeks thinking about it
1126
01:51:49,287 --> 01:51:52,802
and all I know is
I don't want to go to prison
1127
01:51:52,847 --> 01:51:54,838
and I can't play Cathcart's game.
1128
01:51:58,767 --> 01:52:01,998
- What else can you do?
- I can run away.
1129
01:52:03,847 --> 01:52:09,126
You'll desert? How would you
get off the base? That's insane.
1130
01:52:09,167 --> 01:52:11,158
That's why
it's the only sensible thing to do.
1131
01:52:11,207 --> 01:52:14,404
They'll call you a coward.
It's your country.
1132
01:52:14,447 --> 01:52:18,326
I've flown 55 missions
and I've fought for three years,
1133
01:52:18,367 --> 01:52:20,323
now I'll fight for myself.
1134
01:52:20,367 --> 01:52:23,916
- Suppose everyone felt that way?
- I'd be a fool to feel different.
1135
01:52:23,967 --> 01:52:26,322
What would your friends say?
1136
01:52:27,127 --> 01:52:31,086
I haven't got any.
Nately was blown to bits,
1137
01:52:31,127 --> 01:52:33,516
McWatt killed himself,
1138
01:52:33,567 --> 01:52:38,004
Hungry Joe was chopped in two,
Dobbs disappeared,
1139
01:52:38,047 --> 01:52:40,436
Aardvark's a murderer,
1140
01:52:40,487 --> 01:52:43,001
Doc Daneeka's a zombie.
1141
01:52:44,687 --> 01:52:46,678
They're all gone.
1142
01:52:47,647 --> 01:52:50,844
The only friend I had was Snowden
and I didn't even know him.
1143
01:52:50,887 --> 01:52:53,401
What about Orr?
1144
01:52:53,447 --> 01:52:57,963
- Orr's at the bottom of the sea.
- No, he isn't. Don't you know?
1145
01:52:58,007 --> 01:53:00,840
- Know what?
- Orr's in Sweden.
1146
01:53:00,887 --> 01:53:02,684
What?
1147
01:53:02,727 --> 01:53:07,118
After 16 weeks at sea, Orr was found
by a trio of Swedish girl scouts.
1148
01:53:07,167 --> 01:53:09,886
- A miracle.
- He rowed all the way.
1149
01:53:09,927 --> 01:53:12,680
- He rowed?
- In that tiny little raft.
1150
01:53:12,727 --> 01:53:14,957
Think of that, all the way to Sweden!
1151
01:53:15,007 --> 01:53:17,919
- He'll sit out the rest of the war.
- It's a miracle!
1152
01:53:17,967 --> 01:53:20,959
It's no miracle.
He has to have planned it.
1153
01:53:21,007 --> 01:53:24,966
- He went to Sweden deliberately?
- It's 3 or 4 thousand miles away!
1154
01:53:25,007 --> 01:53:28,841
He always said that
crash-landing was good practice.
1155
01:53:28,887 --> 01:53:33,278
- Getting shot down in the sea.
- On every mission that he flew!
1156
01:53:34,927 --> 01:53:36,918
That is a miracle.
1157
01:53:38,207 --> 01:53:42,997
Practising
getting shot down in the sea!
1158
01:53:43,127 --> 01:53:45,243
He made it?
1159
01:53:47,007 --> 01:53:49,077
He made it?
1160
01:53:50,727 --> 01:53:55,198
He made it!
That son of a bitch made it!
1161
01:54:05,967 --> 01:54:10,518
- Are you crazy? Is he crazy?
- If he made it, so can I!
1162
01:54:10,567 --> 01:54:13,718
- We gotta stop him.
- I can do it, Danby!
1163
01:54:13,767 --> 01:54:16,440
- They'll catch you!
- I can do it.
1164
01:54:16,487 --> 01:54:19,923
- This is insane!
- What about your clothes?
1165
01:54:19,967 --> 01:54:22,083
They won't recognise me
out of uniform.
1166
01:54:22,127 --> 01:54:25,676
You'll be on the run,
in constant danger of betrayal!
1167
01:54:25,727 --> 01:54:28,082
I live that way now.
1168
01:54:28,127 --> 01:54:31,563
- For God's sake, hurry up!
- So long, Chaplain.
1169
01:54:31,607 --> 01:54:36,044
- How do you feel, Yossarian?
- Fine, except I'm scared to death.
1170
01:54:36,087 --> 01:54:39,238
- You'll have to keep on your toes.
- I'll keep on my toes.
1171
01:54:39,287 --> 01:54:41,323
- You'll have to jump.
- I'll jump.
1172
01:54:41,367 --> 01:54:43,085
Jump!
1173
01:54:44,305 --> 01:54:50,418
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