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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,395 SR please call the operator. 2 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,473 Dr. Crest, please call the operator. 3 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,755 - Who the fuck are you? 4 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,231 I"m sorry, I don't pick up that channel. 5 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,235 Wanna try it again? 6 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:19,677 - I said, 7 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,554 my name is David Bennett. 8 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,317 I'm your buddy 9 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,316 from the Gay Center. 10 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:41,957 - Have a seat. 11 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,191 Say, 12 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,479 they really got you dolled up for your grand entrance. 13 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,919 - Well, they said I should wear this to be on the safe side. 14 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,159 Shouldn't I? 15 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,232 - Well, you know what they say. 16 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,990 If they give you lined paper, write the other way. 17 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,318 - Well I did feel sorta silly getting into this. 18 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,795 But I've never done this sorta thing before. 19 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,430 - You volunteered, didn't you? 20 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,795 Yeah. 21 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,311 - Why? 22 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,190 - I don't know, really. 23 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,750 I mean, I'm gay but that's not big thing. 24 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,397 I don't have any friends who have AIDs. 25 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,830 My lover, Steve, 26 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,119 he's had two friends who've-- 27 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:46,871 - Died. 28 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:50,991 You can say t. 29 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:52,956 I won't break up. 30 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,829 I didn't know what to bring you. 31 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,069 It was just an impulse. 32 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,636 - Oh, wow, I love these. 33 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,829 A great impulse. 34 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:14,877 Mmmm. 35 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,230 So what did make you volunteer to by my buddy? 36 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,914 Fate? 37 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,036 - No. 38 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,237 I guess it's because of a book. 39 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,676 - Oh God, you're not a gay writer. 40 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:28,910 - No. 41 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,435 I'm a typesetter. 42 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,312 Freelance. 43 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,149 - Well, 44 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,874 word processing is where it's at. 45 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,635 - 'M not a word processor. 46 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,357 I'm a typesetter. 47 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,750 It's really quiet different. 48 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,439 See, I'm setting the type for this book 49 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,400 called "The AIDS Reader" and it includes articles 50 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,439 on how the HTLV-III virus was discovered, 51 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,319 the quarantine laws in England, 52 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,392 confidentiality in the blood tests, 53 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,155 life and death statistical projections. 54 00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,709 Plus, first person accounts, 55 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,309 like guys getting fired because of AIDS 56 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,995 and getting kicked out of their apartments. 57 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,436 They have this one piece on being a buddy. 58 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,949 Well, I have flexible hours, 59 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,351 so I called the gay group and I volunteered. 60 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,830 So he fell asleep on you, just like that? 61 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,355 - Uh huh. 62 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,274 You must've been telling him all about typesetting. 63 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,635 - I was. 64 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,359 But he's on a lot of medication. 65 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,029 I think he was just tired. 66 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,714 What's he like? 67 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:00,711 - He seems okay. 68 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:02,791 Intelligent. 69 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,798 We're both a little nervous. 70 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,440 Me especially. 71 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,989 Sorry you signed up? 72 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,510 - Well, he's not what I expected. 73 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,432 Which was what? 74 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,679 - Which was someone who was gonna need real help. 75 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,431 I don't even know what I'm supposed to do for him. 76 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,553 Guess I imagined an AIDS patient was gonna be more serious. 77 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,312 Better he's up than down. 78 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,397 - Yeah, I know. 79 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,353 I guess it's just the first time kinks, huh? 80 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,438 I gotta go, Ill see you tonight? 81 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:39,596 - Okay. 82 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,869 I've decided to keep a record 83 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,395 of my visits with Robert. 84 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,398 A record of my real feelings about him 85 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,433 and me being his buddy. 86 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,710 Because I've already started to do 87 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,394 what I always do with Steve, 88 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,277 my friends and myself. 89 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,559 Fixing up what I really think so it sounds acceptable. 90 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,109 I'm gonna try and write the truth in this journal. 91 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:36,469 First, I don't think I even like Robert Willow. 92 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,837 His smug attitude, his smirky, little, 93 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,520 "If they give you lined paper, 94 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,592 "write the other way," bullshit. 95 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,318 Secondly, I think Steve has already heard in my voice 96 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,029 that part of me is sorry for having volunteered. 97 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,916 I feel sappy about trying to help. 98 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,317 I think I'm doing it to make me feel good. 99 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,993 I don't have the guts to back out, 100 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,073 to explain it to Robert or explain it to Lynn at the center. 101 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,877 So I'm gonna give it a try. 102 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,990 Sorry 1 fell asleep on you the other day. 103 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,350 No problem. 104 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,476 How's this taste? 105 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,589 I hate carrots. 106 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,236 When did they put the IVs in? 107 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,073 - This morning, early. 108 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,271 But it's just for today, I guess. 109 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,590 A new antibiotic. 110 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,471 It hurts to move my arms with the needles. 111 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:38,871 I feel weird. 112 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,716 You're feeding me and I don't even know you. 113 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,074 - Well, my name is David Bennett. 114 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,520 I'm 25. 115 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,160 I was born in New York City. 116 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:50,271 - Not that stuff. 117 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:52,670 Like, who are you? 118 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,478 - Why don't you ask what you wanna know? 119 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,559 - When did you know you were gay? 120 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,555 Too personal, huh? 121 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:08,670 - Yeah. 122 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,073 I mean, I never thought about that. 123 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,233 What a weird question to ask. 124 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,675 - I think it's basic. 125 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,154 A person's real identity. 126 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,276 Sex is the part that makes you in or out, 127 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:24,951 hot or cold. 128 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,754 You know, where you passion is. 129 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,750 It's not everything but it's a big piece of the puzzle. 130 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,512 - When did you know? 131 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,671 - When I was nine. 132 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,675 I had a crush on this older guy 133 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,913 that used to wash our windows and water our lawn 134 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:42,917 in San Diego. 135 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,712 La Jolla, where I was born. 136 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,479 God, he was tall 137 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,797 and he used to walk around in his shorts 138 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,116 like he owned the world. 139 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,630 That's when I knew. 140 00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:58,917 What about you? 141 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:00,598 - Well, 142 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,479 I was 16 when I realized that girls 143 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,592 really weren't gonna do it for me. 144 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,273 I knew inside that I like guys 145 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,753 and then in my senior year I met Craig Cartwright 146 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,314 and he was my own age and from Staten Island 147 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,755 and I knew then for sure 148 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,716 but it was no big thing. 149 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,279 I mean, I told my parents 150 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,955 and they had an inkling about me all along and that was it. 151 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,156 Craig, he went by the boards pretty quickly 152 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,551 but I started dating guys until I met Steve. 153 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:36,834 - Your parents sound coo. 154 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:42,676 Mine disowned me when I told them back in 1971. 155 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,833 It was like one of those silent films 156 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,674 where the father throws the kid out into the storm. 157 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,236 Except for with me, it was California sunshine. 158 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:56,870 I don't want anymore. 159 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,510 - No, now the nurse said you're supposed to finish this, 160 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,398 I mean all of it. 161 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,357 - Did you bring anymore Reese's? 162 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:04,750 - No. 163 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,594 Now, come on and try some of this very tasty... 164 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,716 Well, you fry it and let me know what it is. 165 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,233 - Shredded hospital rat. 166 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,596 Steve and you tight? 167 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,678 - We've been together for five years. 168 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:35,910 Since I was 20. 169 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,753 - And you love him? 170 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,718 I mean, you're still in love with him? 171 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,909 Still too personal? 172 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,630 - Steve doesn't even ask me questions like that. 173 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,040 - So? 174 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,112 That's because he knows the answer. 175 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,033 I retract the question. 176 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,078 - No, no, I mean, it's just that I'm not used 177 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,879 to being asked about my private life. 178 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:05,751 I love Steve. 179 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:08,830 He's been there so long 180 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,878 that I don't think about him very consciously. 181 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,070 We're very different. 182 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,114 I am security oriented and he's more outgoing. 183 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,475 But we're still in love. 184 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:24,916 - How can you tell? 185 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,194 Is it still sexy after five years? 186 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,840 - You've got a one-track mind. 187 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,514 In the beginning, Steve liked to have sex more than I did. 188 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:38,750 But then I sorta caught up. 189 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,839 I know what you're thinking. 190 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:47,991 - What? 191 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,877 - Except for when we first became lovers, 192 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,031 I've had two affairs. 193 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:56,869 One with Steve's best friend, 194 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,157 but since that, that's four years ago, 195 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,715 I've been faithful to Steve. 196 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,270 As far as I know, he's been exclusively mine. 197 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,471 What? 198 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,319 - That's what I was gonna ask. 199 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,550 What do you mean, disowned him? 200 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,030 - Mom, when they found out he was gay that was it. 201 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,191 They cut him off. 202 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,669 But he's sick. 203 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:24,791 Maybe dying. 204 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,758 What sort of people could-- 205 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,913 - Mom, it's not like everybody has the same values. 206 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,117 A child is your child, no matter what. 207 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,029 Maybe you should get their address and drive them? 208 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,953 - Mom, Robert's a grown man. 209 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,509 Well, you're his buddy. 210 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,910 Maybe you should just do it. 211 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,231 Write them a letter, set up a reunion. 212 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,830 - Fly them to New York, orchestra seats 213 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,549 and then off to the hospital for a big reconciliation? 214 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,109 Don't get sarcastic. 215 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,311 You know what I mean. 216 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,796 - Mom, if there were gonna come 217 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:54,991 they would've done it by now. 218 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,278 All parents are not like you and Dad. 219 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,998 Does he need anything? 220 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,674 Does he have a lover? 221 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,110 - I don't know. 222 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,999 So far, I've talked more about myself 223 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,674 than he has told me about him. 224 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,873 How bad is it, the AIDS? 225 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,874 - He's had pneumonia two times in the last nine months. 226 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,031 He's pretty weak. 227 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,391 Well your father and I are very proud of you, David, 228 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,319 volunteering and all. 229 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,956 If there's anything we can do, let me know. 230 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:24,917 Give my best to Steve. 231 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:26,957 - Okay. 232 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:28,996 I love you. 233 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,475 I love you too, dear. 234 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,517 - Bye, bye. 235 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,399 Bye. 236 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,437 Seeing Robert helpless, 237 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,673 in pain and trying not to show t, made me feel foolish. 238 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,990 I'm glad I decided to stay with this buddy thing. 239 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,273 Suddenly my parents and Steve seem very special. 240 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,077 And Robert, with his service optimism, 241 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,038 has piqued my curiosity. 242 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,473 What's he like when I'm not there? 243 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,317 What was he like before acquired immunodeficiency syndrome? 244 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,754 I hate writing the words 245 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,556 and I wanna know how sick he really is. 246 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,676 At the center they said he is going to die, 247 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,034 that there are no miracles, 248 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,230 that I should encourage him 249 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,471 No} emotionally close to him. 250 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,558 That I must keep an objective distance 251 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,877 or else I may not be able to help him. 252 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,874 It's clear that if I'm going to be Robert's buddy, 253 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,237 'm gonna have to do more than just show up. 254 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,715 I'm gonna have o listen. 255 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,034 - And my mom, 256 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,152 she couldn't understand your parents kicking you out. 257 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,437 - Looking back, 258 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,670 it was terrible. 259 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,036 But at the time I fell right into the world 260 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,873 of dawning gay liberation, 261 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,115 in Edward's arms. 262 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,716 Edward's the great love of my life. 263 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:13,472 His two favorite things are getting it on outdoors 264 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,274 and politics. 265 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,999 Gay rights, gay community, 266 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,719 marching, demonstrating. 267 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,838 Edward was so intellectual. 268 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,913 And I was a gardener. 269 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,036 Very laid back. 270 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,156 We were a hot match. 271 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,079 The brainy politico and his humpy sidekick. 272 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,594 We bought a van. 273 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,240 Drove around Yosemite, 274 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,072 Tahoe, 275 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,111 down Highway One. 276 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,194 He was my own professional homosexual. 277 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,154 He used to lecture at schools, to the cops 278 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,039 and before church groups. 279 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,636 He got a job with a gay newspaper in San Francisco 280 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,112 and I used to help him with the midnight deliveries 281 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,350 and the mailing lists. 282 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,758 It was an open relationship. 283 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,520 We both slept around. 284 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,955 Edward more than me. 285 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,511 I always wanted something that would last. 286 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,074 It's funny how no two lovers 287 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,154 ever love each other the same. 288 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,192 Well, it was good for seven years. 289 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,117 Then the newspaper failed and politics went mainstream 290 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,669 and Edward's street methods 291 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:35,796 just didn't fit in. 292 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,149 Edward moved to Hawaii 293 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,034 and then to Portland, Oregon. 294 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:43,911 He was burned out. 295 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,110 As for me, I kept the van 296 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,077 and I drove around like a nomad 297 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,676 until 1980, when I met Tom, 298 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,673 who was vacationing from New York. 299 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,630 We fell very conventionally in love 300 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,394 and I came East to give it a try. 301 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,350 Tom is a successful executive consultant 302 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,638 and he was a lot of fun until I got AIDS. 303 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,391 I think that our relationship might have gotten 304 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,239 through the usual problems, 305 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,235 but the AIDS hysteria, 306 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,310 the fear that he'd get it from me, 307 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,271 the guilt that maybe I'd gotten it from him, 308 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,271 just killed his love. 309 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,834 So he gave me three thousand dollars in cash. 310 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,949 I rented a room from my friend, Philip, 311 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,310 and I sought treatment. 312 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,994 New York is a hard place for sick people 313 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,276 and if you've got AIDS, 314 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,351 it's the pits. 315 00:19:58,720 --> 00:19:59,391 - He dropped you? 316 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,159 Just like that? 317 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,470 - Tom's not a strong person. 318 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,679 But there's Ellen. 319 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:10,751 She's a good friend. 320 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:12,511 Neighbor. 321 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,915 She brings me my mail 322 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:16,876 and the flowers. 323 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,554 I never really took to New York. 324 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:23,709 And by the time I realized 325 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,439 I shoulda gone back to California, 326 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,594 I was too sick to pull off the change. 327 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:31,551 - Edward? 328 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,237 Does he know? 329 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,069 - We wrote a few letters. 330 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,517 He came to visit me six months ago, 331 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,831 when I had the first bout of pneumonia. 332 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,880 But I was really out of it 333 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,235 and I wasn't able to... 334 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,436 To really talk to him. 335 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,634 He came by everyday. 336 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,838 I wished I had had the strength to talk to him then. 337 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:21,956 He was really broke. 338 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,717 And that trip took all he had on a lot of levels. 339 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,031 I wish 340 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,118 I coulda have bridged that time 341 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,160 that we had back then. 342 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,470 But we didn't. 343 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:54,269 That was my fault. 344 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,033 Mr. Bennett, 345 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:02,236 I'm sorry to interrupt 346 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,312 but it's time for Robert's medication now. 347 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,274 - You don't wanna watch this. 348 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,755 It's pretty grisly. 349 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,150 "The treatment." 350 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,318 - No, I can take it. 351 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:19,751 - I know. 352 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,556 I was just kidding. 353 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,311 But it's the rules. 354 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,518 I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett, 355 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,274 but those really are the rules. 356 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,797 Come on, David, come on, David, yeah. 357 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,595 All right, smooth move, David, that's it. 358 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,349 Al right, lose your breath, David. 359 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:49,630 Go with your breath, come on. 360 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,320 Follow through, all the way through, David. 361 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,351 Yeah, that's it. 362 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,630 Now bring it in. 363 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:54,916 Don't close your eyes. 364 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,275 Keep them open, come on. 365 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,631 Yeah, just a little longer, good. 366 00:22:58,960 --> 00:22:59,950 All right. 367 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,315 Yeah, keep those elbows in, David. 368 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,832 How can Robert just sit in that bed 369 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,390 and tell me the intimate details of his life? 370 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,274 Like it was some nostalgic trip down memory lane? 371 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,631 No anger, no regret. 372 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,874 All the time and energy wasted 373 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,277 on his gay lib political dreams, 374 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,396 the gay community, 375 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,829 and what did it get him? 376 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:28,430 Abandoned. 377 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,278 And yet he's so cool and easy with it 378 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,829 like he was telling me a story. 379 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,473 Edward, the great love of his life. 380 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,394 It sounds so silly, and yet, when he said it I thought, 381 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,113 "Am I the great love of Steve's life? 382 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,277 "Is he mine?" 383 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:56,396 - Jim? 384 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,431 Am I a wimp? 385 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,753 David, you're coming along 386 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,480 but the problem is not in your body. 387 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,239 Half the battle's in your mind. 388 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,997 It's in your head. 389 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:16,996 I'm angry at Tom 390 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,640 for not sticking by Robert 391 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,474 and Edward for drifting out of his life. 392 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,030 But more, I'm deeply angry with Robert himself 393 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,431 for taking it all without a fight. 394 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,831 For accepting the way that these men have treated him. 395 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,676 Although, honestly, I don't know how I would've handled it. 396 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,353 If Steve stopped caring, 397 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,631 what would I do? 398 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,436 - These are the galley proofs for the AIDS Reader. 399 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,551 See, these are almost finished. 400 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,393 They're close to perfect 401 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,512 and I've figured out a way to lay out this material 402 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,478 so it'll be very simple to read. 403 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,552 - Looks like a book set to go. 404 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,676 - See, that's the difference 405 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,991 between typesetting and word processing. 406 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,509 It's camera ready. 407 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,399 - You're really into this, aren't you? 408 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:17,835 - Yeah, I like my job. 409 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,072 - "AIDS is perhaps the harsh but real retribution 410 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,670 "of a God too long neglected. 411 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:41,475 "Nature's revenge on an unnatural minority's 412 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,719 "arrogant disregard of her elemental law." 413 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,999 What's in this book you're doing? 414 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,513 - Well, it has all different points of view in it. 415 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,593 - And this is whose point of view? 416 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,196 - Lots of religious people view ages as a punishment 417 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,956 sent from God to gays. 418 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:07,111 - Do people... 419 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,157 really think God wants me here? 420 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,390 Robert, stop. 421 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:18,715 - Isolates gays from everybody else! 422 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,036 Like we're expendable! 423 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,158 - Robert, take a breath for Christ sakes! 424 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:24,992 - It's like... 425 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,477 saying God... 426 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,634 created the Nazis to keep the Jews in line. 427 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:32,552 - Robert, take a breath. 428 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:33,597 - Or all the black people... 429 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,115 - Robert, you're hurting yourself, 430 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,312 - All the black people starving in Africa 431 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,630 like it's their fault! 432 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,917 - It's just a book, Robert, come on Now. 433 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:45,475 - So God created the virus 434 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,599 to stop gay people from having sex?! 435 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,597 Robert, just forget about the book. 436 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:50,631 - To kill them! 437 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:51,558 - Stop! 438 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,513 - A cruel God is no God at all! 439 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:54,472 Robert, lay Back. 440 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,160 Relax, relax. 441 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:56,958 So stupid! 442 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,475 Tale a breath. 443 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,672 Come on, come on, come on. 444 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:01,671 Relax. 445 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,558 That's good, yeah. 446 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:18,556 Once at a swimming pool, 447 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,235 I saw a little girl almost drown 448 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,517 and last year, at a restaurant, I watched helplessly 449 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,911 as a man nearly chocked to death 450 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,318 till someone struck him on the chest and saves his life. 451 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,200 Both that girl and man wanted to catch their breaths 452 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,193 but something about Robert scares me. 453 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,318 He was more interested in shouting down 454 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,153 that "God is revenge" quotation 455 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:40,914 than regaining his own composure. 456 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,033 What sort of a man could feel so personally attacked 457 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,749 by the words on those galley sheets? 458 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,640 I have never seen a response SO inappropriate 459 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:53,671 and, yet, so real. 460 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,758 He seemed willing to literally die rather than shut up. 461 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,837 I've never met a person like Robert Willow. 462 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,149 He unnerves me. 463 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,230 - Hello? 464 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,069 David, it's Robert. 465 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,710 I called to thank you for getting the nurse in time. 466 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,792 - I'm sorry I brought the galley sheets in. 467 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,158 If I thought they were going to upset you, I wouldn't have. 468 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:38,998 - No, 469 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,711 I wanna read them. 470 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:42,990 It's just my way. 471 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,435 'M still trying to change things that are beyond me. 472 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,560 I just get so angry thinking that some people 473 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,757 thing God is like them. 474 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,912 Anyway, thanks for not listening but for getting me help. 475 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:00,876 - I'm glad I was there. 476 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,958 But look, I need a favor. 477 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:05,910 - What? 478 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,831 - Well, my roommate Philip, 479 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,674 he's been paying my share of the rent now for six months 480 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,319 and he needs to rend my room. 481 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,400 You know how expensive everything is in New York. 482 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:20,232 - Yeah? 483 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:22,549 So what do you want me to do? 484 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,959 - Well, I was wondering 485 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,357 if you could come to the hospital and get my keys 486 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:33,197 and then go to my apartment and pick up my personal things. 487 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:34,837 There's not a lot. 488 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,478 But Philip needs the room empty. 489 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,632 - Robert, where do you live? 490 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,479 Can't he bring your things over? 491 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,675 - On the Upper West side. 492 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,354 West 76th Street. 493 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,749 Look, David, 494 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:51,751 Philip would do it 495 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,350 but he's afraid to come to the hospital. 496 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,552 He's probably gonna burn the keys when you leave them 497 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,837 but he's done his best for six months. 498 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,871 - Sure, Robert, I'll come over tomorrow. 499 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:04,591 - Thanks. 500 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,877 Philip works during the day, 501 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,674 50 you won't run into him. 502 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:10,990 No scenes. 503 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,873 Sure, Robert, it's really no hustle at all. 504 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,839 - Thanks. 505 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,918 Goodnight. 506 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:23,996 - Goodnight. 507 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,872 "Dear Edward, 508 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,350 I don't know if I'll even mail this letter to you 509 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,233 "hut it seems like I've got AIDS. 510 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,597 "All the tests point to it. 511 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,991 "My funds are evaporating 512 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,431 "and the first signs of this phenolemia have hit. 513 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,034 "Travel seems impossible. 514 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,039 "Tom has gone to pieces with the news 515 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,273 "and I feel cut off an utterly alone accept for Ellen, 516 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,954 "who visits and calls." 517 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:44,831 "Dear Bobby, 518 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,953 "I got the horrible news from Ellen who wrote me a note. 519 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,318 "I've seen a lot of old friends taken ill and now you, 520 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,755 "the sweetest man. 521 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,838 "And I thought I'd run out of tears. 522 00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:58,871 "I haven't. 523 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,354 "I'll try to get to you. 524 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,909 "As always, money is a problem. 525 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:05,589 "There are people here in Portland 526 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,473 "who are trying megavitamin therapy 527 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,949 "on the holistic approach. 528 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,993 "But Ellen indicated things in New York are scattered. 529 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:16,997 "I suppose everyone is scurrying around, 530 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,789 "looking for something to make it go away. 531 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,509 "I won't bore you but until the Federal Government 532 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,194 "really allocates to dollars, 533 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,790 "you and the rest will be left to erratically funded 534 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,873 "local scenes and the kindness of friends and strangers. 535 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,960 "A collective effort is needed but I doubt it will happen. 536 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:36,476 "Love, Edward. 537 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,190 "PS, 538 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,240 "I think my dad will give me some of the cash to visit. 539 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,710 "The AIDS issue finally got through to him."” 540 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,713 Hi, this is Philip. 541 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,951 If you're calling about the room for rent, 542 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,998 and, yes, it's still open, 543 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,199 please leave your name and number 50 I can get back to you. 544 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,278 'I be in after 6 p.m. 545 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,950 and we can arrange a time for you to see it. 546 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:14,310 If you're calling for me, 547 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,472 I'll be at my job number till five. 548 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:17,631 206 549 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:18,950 0309. 550 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,269 Bye, for now. 551 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:22,874 Wait for the beep before speaking 552 00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:24,275 and talk as long as you like. 553 00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:48,957 - Where was this? 554 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,277 - This was in San Francisco at Land's End. 555 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,239 Edward and I were clowning around. 556 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,550 Oh God, what a time. 557 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,320 Edward borrowed one of those Kodak cameras. 558 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,994 You could run it on automatic. 559 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,874 Was that a nude beach or what? 560 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:09,752 - Not really. 561 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,270 Some people went nude. 562 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,473 And there was a lot of action in those bushes. 563 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,150 You could sun or fun or both. 564 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:24,911 - Robert? 565 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,035 Can I ask you something? 566 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,315 If you could be healthy, 567 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,194 I mean completely healthy, 568 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,037 for one day, 569 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:42,191 what would you do? 570 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,034 - No strings? 571 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,471 Just 24 hours, like magic? 572 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:48,631 - A day, yeah. 573 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:51,837 What would you do? 574 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:56,510 - Well, I'd be with Edward. 575 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,230 Not in the past, like in the movie. 576 00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,430 But here, in New York City, 577 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:07,710 but we'd be lovers 578 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,198 and we'd get it one because there's no one I've ever had 579 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:12,516 who was as hot as Edward. 580 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,714 This, of course, is a purely personal preference. 581 00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,319 But we'd be together. 582 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,392 Breakfast, shower, 583 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,393 then go out for a walk. 584 00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:26,278 Central Park. 585 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,717 Okay but this is a little weird 586 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,556 but at an offbeat time, like at two o'clock, 587 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,955 'd take the People's Express and I'd fly to Washington D.C. 588 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,193 And I'd have a two by four and a magic marker 589 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:46,271 and a piece of cardboard 590 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,040 and I'd be a one man picket outside the White House. 591 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,191 Just a jester, you know? 592 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:55,311 Very Don Quixote. 593 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,320 And I'd write something on the cardboard like, 594 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,598 "America, AIDS is not a gay disease. 595 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:04,716 "It hurts everybody. 596 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,192 "Release all the money for research and care." 597 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,275 Then I'd go back to New York 598 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,635 and I'd be with Edward. 599 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,349 We'd have a great dinner, 600 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,353 hit a couple of piano bars for a few songs 601 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,916 and then go home and fuck our brains out. 602 00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,198 "My Healthy Day" by Robert Willow. 603 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,750 Crazy, huh? 604 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:45,717 - I just wondered. 605 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:48,396 - What would you do? 606 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:50,917 - What do you mean? 607 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:53,873 - Well, you are healthy 608 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:55,036 and you've got Steve. 609 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,112 What would you do with the day? 610 00:37:58,440 --> 00:37:59,191 - We live together. 611 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:00,476 I'm not-- 612 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,319 - Another below the belt question? 613 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:03,675 - Yeah. 614 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,031 Your questions always seem to come out of left field... 615 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:07,991 To me. 616 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,791 Steve and I go to the movies and we visit friends. 617 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,679 We entertain at home. 618 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,593 Once and awhile we go out dancing. 619 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:23,711 We sleep together. 620 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:27,072 - Is he hot? 621 00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:29,597 - Yes. 622 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,315 To me. 623 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,917 I mean, this of course is a purely personal preference. 624 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,032 - How hot? 625 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,714 What are the juicy details? 626 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:40,592 - Hot is... 627 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,518 Hot. 628 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:47,358 - Oh. 629 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,390 I know. 630 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,397 I just wanted to hear you say the words. 631 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,591 Good night, David. 632 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,149 Goodnight. 633 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,431 I left those chapter headings right on top of 634 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,238 the consult. 635 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:10,958 Right. 636 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:11,752 Okay? 637 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:12,638 Okay. 638 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,229 Government projections, 639 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,358 and these are the most conservative figures, 640 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,796 estimate that by 1988 there could be 641 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,676 30 thousand cases of AIDS in the United Sates alone 642 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,917 and if unchecked by a preventative vaccine 643 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:29,153 And/or antiviral cure, the number by 1990 644 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,391 might reach 100 thousand cases. 645 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:32,670 Although in America, 646 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,514 AIDS has struck mainly homosexual males. 647 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,030 The thousands of heterosexual couples in Africa 648 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,556 who have the illness may cruelly shortsighted 649 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,111 the initial perception that AIDS is a gay disease. 650 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,994 The growing number of cases among needle drug users, 651 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,271 women, children and the newly born 652 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,433 present the medical and governmental establishment 653 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,273 with the test of their ability to solve 654 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,911 a truly national problem with international ramifications. 655 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,834 The immediate threat to America's blood supply, 656 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,760 the plasma industry and the thousands of hemophiliacs 657 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,794 who depend most immediately on the purity and availability 658 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,590 of transfusions is forebodingly clear. 659 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:46,910 Goodnight, David. 660 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:52,036 - Goodnight, babe. 661 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,760 - Okay, today we're bringing you a special program. 662 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:45,956 - I hate television. 663 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:47,719 - There's a lot of good stuff on. 664 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,720 Don't you like TV's bloopers, bleeps and blunders? 665 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,430 Anyway, this isn't regular television. 666 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,592 It's a special installation. 667 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,473 - Where'd you get the VCR? 668 00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,750 - From home. 669 00:44:59,120 --> 00:44:59,837 It's mine and Steve's, we bought it last year. 670 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:01,389 It's great. 671 00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,512 You can watch whatever you want when you want to. 672 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:04,756 - I've read the ads. 673 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:06,716 - Okay. 674 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:07,836 Here you go. 675 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:10,035 You're in to politics? 676 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,189 Well go for it. 677 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:23,878 Gay Day? 678 00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:25,116 Uh huh. 679 00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:25,912 This year? 680 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,315 Uh huh. 681 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:28,675 Where'd you get it? 682 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,434 There's this gay cable show here in Manhattan 683 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,797 and they do like national coverage. 684 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,116 I'd figure you'd like it. 685 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,158 Lesbians and gays coast to coast. 686 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,714 - Did you march? 687 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:39,672 - No, I'm not into it. 688 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,837 - Haven't you ever been to one? 689 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:44,833 - A few years ago I went with Steve. 690 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:45,592 It was tacky. 691 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:46,756 A freak show. 692 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:48,950 - But Gay Day is great. 693 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,157 Just look at all those people. 694 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,632 Most of the year passing for straight, then wham, 695 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:56,950 they're out! 696 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,954 The world has to see them, has to deal with them. 697 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,953 - Why should I want the world to see me? 698 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,195 - Well it beats hiding. 699 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,314 - I don't hide 700 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:08,869 but I don't have to tell everyone in all the world 701 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:10,389 everyday that I like guys. 702 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:11,869 It's my private business. 703 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,634 - I wasn't trying to tell you what to do. 704 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,389 David, I just thought that coming out 705 00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:20,119 was something everyone longed for. 706 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:22,834 You know, a chance to be yourself 707 00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,151 without worrying who's watching or what they're thinking. 708 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,710 - Look, Robert, I don't feel it the way you do. 709 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,678 'M not against the parade, I'm glad it happens. 710 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,594 It just doesn't have this deep of meaning for me. 711 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,797 - Well, to me it stands for not letting the world 712 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:35,951 say that I'm not here. 713 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,193 That there's only supposed to be straight people, 714 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:40,834 straight love, straight pain. 715 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,912 - Yeah, but why cut yourself off with the gay label? 716 00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,516 Why separate yourself from everybody else? 717 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,071 - I only feel separated when I have to lie 718 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,796 and say that I'm straight when I'm really gay. 719 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,239 Do you think that if straight senators 720 00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,710 and their straight sons had AIDS 721 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,833 that all that money that's being held up in Washington, 722 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:05,673 and I read this in your... 723 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,111 Those galley sheets you brought in, 724 00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,398 that all that money would be taking so long to come down 725 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,754 to research and hospices here in New York City 726 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:20,119 with the most dead and the most cases and me, 727 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,757 'm just a number in a pile here in the Big Apple. 728 00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:25,559 There's not even an AIDS clinic. 729 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:26,790 - Robert, take it easy. 730 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,270 - Here in New York City it's an epidemic 731 00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,750 and I was lost 732 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,310 until that gay crisis group took me in. 733 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,314 No money from the state or the city. 734 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,074 No bucks from Washington. 735 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:40,834 But just some gay people 736 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,316 and their straight friends who volunteer, 737 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:48,677 like you. 738 00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:57,949 - As a homosexual, 739 00:47:58,280 --> 00:47:59,236 as relating to women, 740 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:02,837 sex in terms of the clothes they wear in stuff, 741 00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,629 there's also a political feminine behind it. 742 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,473 I mean, I feel a victim of sexism 743 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:12,078 and I think to understand what I victimized about, 744 00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,351 I had to understand what sex is all about. 745 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,275 This helps me feel androgynous or hermaphrodite. 746 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,718 I mean, it makes me feel like a whole person 747 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,594 instead of just half a person. 748 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,712 - So, 749 00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:27,876 this parade, 750 00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,989 this tacky, once a year freak show, 751 00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,953 is my one chance to feel connected 752 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,479 because they're not all just gay people 753 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,239 marching in that crowd. 754 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,637 There's a lot of straight people, 755 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,110 parents and grandparents, 756 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,349 and in that sense, 757 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:50,357 in that moment, 758 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:57,270 then we are all just people and the gay label vanishes 759 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,273 because we're together 760 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,716 without having to deny the differences. 761 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,073 That's why the whole damn thing is so important to me. 762 00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:10,916 Besides, 763 00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,432 everybody oughta have a chance to make a little noise, 764 00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,279 raise a little hell once and awhile. 765 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:24,189 God, how I hate it in here when it's quiet. 766 00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:27,071 Sometimes I think this is 767 00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,272 the quietest place in the whole world. 768 00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:33,916 Some nights, 769 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,078 I lie here in this bed, 770 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:40,917 all I can hear 771 00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,559 is the sound of my own blood 772 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:50,479 running around inside me. 773 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,755 The other night, 774 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,071 I masturbated. 775 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,391 - Well, that's good. 776 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:10,034 - It was terrible. 777 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,870 I jerked off. 778 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,589 Well, everything worked out, 779 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,150 I hadn't fallen apart yet. 780 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:24,673 My cock came 781 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:27,511 but I didn't. 782 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,270 I didn't feel it. 783 00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:41,035 There's more to sex than an orgasm grabbed in the dark. 784 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,996 I started alone and I finished alone. 785 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,796 - Robert, you're under such stress. 786 00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:57,872 - David, 787 00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,998 I don't wanna die. 788 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,478 I wanna live. 789 00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:10,556 But I don't think I'm gonna make it. 790 00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:16,071 I'm never gonna get out of here. 791 00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:22,030 I don't wanna die. 792 00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:58,074 I started out in the buddy thing 793 00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,549 with reservations. 794 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,074 I didn't even like Robert. 795 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:03,871 I almost quit. 796 00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,556 And now I'm hopelessly lost in his world. 797 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,199 That room and all his dreams and hopes and memories. 798 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,149 I've gotten too close to him. 799 00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,070 And my big try to be objective and to tell the truth 800 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,919 in this journal is a farce. 801 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:25,950 I don't know where I stand 802 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:28,072 on half the things he's been raving about. 803 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,080 I felt superior to him at the start. 804 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,310 All his old, tired ideas. 805 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:39,396 But some of what he says sounds right. 806 00:52:39,720 --> 00:52:42,075 Where is the help going to come from? 807 00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:44,871 The government? 808 00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:47,790 Charities? 809 00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:50,432 The people? 810 00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:58,632 All' know is that I want Robert to live. 811 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,998 I wanna call some doctor up in France or Japan or Atlanta 812 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,955 and say, "Send some of those drugs you're trying out! 813 00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:06,957 "Save Robert! 814 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:09,275 "Give him back his life! 815 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,758 "Let him go marching in every Gay Day parade there is. 816 00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:16,469 "Let him be a gardener again. 817 00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:19,918 "Just let him out of that room." 818 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,715 And in a flash I'm swept up in his fear of dying. 819 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,114 I've never thought about dying 820 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,114 and now I'm getting attached to a guy who is going to die. 821 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,112 I hate writing it. 822 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:37,198 I despise even thinking it. 823 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,836 Like saying it makes it so. 824 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,515 Like spilling out the words that Robert will die 825 00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,597 IS me writing his death certificate. 826 00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:53,709 Did he like the cable show? 827 00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:55,150 Parade footage? 828 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:56,959 - We sorta had a fight over it. 829 00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,680 You should bring him some of those porno tapes. 830 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,030 Less controversy. 831 00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,555 - Actually, that's all I do most of the time 832 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:03,751 IS argue with him. 833 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,192 Well, that's okay, at least it's not dull. 834 00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:08,271 - It's all wrong. 835 00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:11,110 David, it's pretty clear you've gotten 836 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:12,236 very close to Robert. 837 00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,229 You know, David, the only difference between 838 00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,876 the guys you fantasize about sometimes when we have sex 839 00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,158 and the guy I fantasize about sometimes when we have sex 840 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,431 is that I know the guy that you're thinking about. 841 00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:29,390 - Who? 842 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:31,595 - Oh, come on. 843 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:32,557 Robert, of course. 844 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,313 - And what do you fantasize about? 845 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:45,354 - Well, if you're very good and step into the shower 846 00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,239 I may tell you. 847 00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:18,154 - I remember when this came out. 848 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:19,072 It was years ago. 849 00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:21,356 You seen it? 850 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,114 - A few times, at home, with Steve. 851 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,198 - Why'd you pick it? 852 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,397 - Because it's about San Francisco. 853 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:29,511 I thought you'd enjoy t. 854 00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,149 If you want, I could always take it home 855 00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,198 and bring back "The Boys of Baltimore." 856 00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:36,918 - This is fine. 857 00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:40,918 Although, it's weird having you here. 858 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:44,549 I'll leave if you want. 859 00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:46,678 - No, stay. 860 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,389 You can explain the parts that I don't understand. 861 00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,797 - So, you admit there are some things about gay life 862 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,389 that you don't understand. 863 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:32,512 Yeah, come on Davy, come on. 864 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:33,432 Yeah. 865 00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:34,909 65. 866 00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:35,712 Good. 867 00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:36,518 66. 868 00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:37,557 - How am I doing? 869 00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:38,676 - Great, 67. 870 00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:40,757 Right, champ. 871 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:41,552 68. 872 00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:42,711 - Look, wide open. 873 00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:43,672 - Shut up. 874 00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:44,552 69. 875 00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:46,710 Breathe with it, come on. 876 00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:48,835 70, yeah. 877 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:50,873 - Did anyone ever tell you 878 00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,315 that you have beautiful... 879 00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,391 eyes. 880 00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:56,995 - Yeah, 71. 881 00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:59,596 Ever since I got muscles when I was 15. 882 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:01,990 72. 883 00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:03,116 Good. 884 00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:04,396 73. 885 00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:06,717 I also have a lovely personality, you know? 886 00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:07,791 74. 887 00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,077 Last one, come on, yeah. 888 00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:10,952 75. 889 00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:13,875 So how is he doing? 890 00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,349 You seem in great spirits. 891 00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:18,075 - He's on new pills. 892 00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:21,591 It's crazy. 893 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,717 But I think Robert's IR 894 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:28,590 He seems a lot better. 895 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:31,120 I mean, who knows, 896 00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,199 but he looks like he could hold his own 897 00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,477 and slide through the summer. 898 00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:51,837 Hello? 899 00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:53,673 Is this David Bennett? 900 00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:54,990 - Yes. 901 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,033 I'm Silvia Douglas with the Long Island Chronical. 902 00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:59,559 - What can I do for you? 903 00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:01,279 Well, I wanna do an article about your work. 904 01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,477 You know, your experience being a buddy. 905 01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:06,669 - You what? 906 01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:08,519 Ideally, an interview R RN} 907 01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:10,478 with you about that AIDS problem. 908 01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:12,359 You know, what you do as a buddy, 909 01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,557 I wanna know about your clients, stuff like that. 910 01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,593 - Listen, how did you get my name and number? 911 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,354 I don't wanna give you an interview. 912 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:21,114 What I'm doing is private, it's a personal thing, 913 01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:22,475 and I don't wanna help you sell papers 914 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,831 with the pain of a guy who I-- 915 01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,754 Listen, we've been trying to publish 916 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,516 the most accurate information we can about AIDS. 917 01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,194 - Look, Miss Douglas, 918 01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:34,550 I don't wanna be abrupt, 919 01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,520 but I'm gonna hang up with some civility right now 920 01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:40,717 and I wish you wouldn't call me up again. 921 01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:42,636 Goodbye. 922 01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,191 An article in a newspaper. 923 01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:50,430 An interview. 924 01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:52,034 It's ghoulish. 925 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:53,714 Why? 926 01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:55,957 - Because you're sick and your pain belongs to you. 927 01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:59,079 It's not something to sell newspapers with. 928 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:01,516 It's like those TEAD reporters at fires asking mothers 929 01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:03,951 what they feel with a burnt kid in their arms. 930 01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:06,554 - I think you should do it. 931 01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,154 You can use my name. 932 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:10,629 - Robert, I don't wanna do it. 933 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:15,157 - You don't have to use your own name. 934 01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,717 Nobody would know. 935 01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:23,631 - Is that it? 936 01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:25,916 You think I'm hiding, 937 01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:30,512 that I'm ashamed to say in public, in print. 938 01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:31,955 - No, David. 939 01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:35,992 I just thought it might help someone. 940 01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,430 You never know who reads those things. 941 01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:43,199 It's like your aids book. 942 01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:45,756 It'll help. 943 01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:47,831 It has to. 944 01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:51,594 - You never stop, do you? 945 01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:55,071 - Look, David, 946 01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:58,393 I know I'm losing it. 947 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:04,398 I can barely remember half the things I wanna say 948 01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,630 but I'm thinking clearly now 949 01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:11,600 and I think you oughta do t. 950 01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:12,716 - For gay lib? 951 01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,191 - No. 952 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:21,876 Do it for me. 953 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:26,915 - Always below the belt. 954 01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:32,113 There's never been anyone like you. 955 01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:36,956 - You can use one of my old pictures. 956 01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:42,075 The one at the beach. 957 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,631 - So how's it gonna help? 958 01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:46,518 Tell me. 959 01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:49,319 - I don't know exactly. 960 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:55,119 Maybe somebody reads it and becomes more careful sexually. 961 01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:58,911 That knocks down their chances of getting it. 962 01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:02,314 Or somebody reads it 963 01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,990 and sends money to one of those gay centers. 964 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:11,994 Or they get angry and they write letter to the mayor 965 01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,550 and asks why more isn't being done. 966 01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:17,831 - You're hopeless. 967 01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:20,678 You haven't learned a thing. 968 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,957 You're still back there preaching on your soup box, 969 01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:24,998 thinking that you can change the world. 970 01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,796 - I can't change anything, David. 971 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,238 I can barely make it to the toilet. 972 01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,435 - Do you wanna write down what I should say? 973 01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:38,716 I mean, if I'm gonna do this thing, 974 01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,720 I want it to be absolutely politically correct. 975 01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:46,791 - No. 976 01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,276 Just be honest. 977 01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:54,951 Just tell the truth. 978 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,718 - So you want some more cassettes? 979 01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:08,951 Steve bought some more cassettes yesterday. 980 01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,189 - Well, an orderly came in yesterday. 981 01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:17,837 Caught me watching "The Bigger The Better” 982 01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,558 and it looks like my VCR 983 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,913 and my growing stash of X-rated classics 984 01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,310 has to go. 985 01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:31,357 - Can they do that? 986 01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:33,956 - It's already done. 987 01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:35,752 - Well I'll talk to them. 988 01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:36,638 - No. 989 01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:38,991 Don't. 990 01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:41,111 At this point, 991 01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:46,509 it's best I appear to be the most cooperative patient. 992 01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:50,792 I don't wanna wear out my welcome. 993 01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:55,870 - What? 994 01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,751 - Thanks for agreeing to do the interview. 995 01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,039 - What's a buddy for anyway? 996 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:12,995 I never used to use these 997 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:14,958 but frankly it gets everything 998 01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:16,918 so I don't have to take notes. 999 01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,476 Okay, Dave, just begin at the beginning 1000 01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:23,036 and try to tell me about being a buddy. 1001 01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:25,590 You know, how you got into it. 1002 01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,038 Why you got into it, what it's like, what he's like. 1003 01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,311 And I guess we could start with his name. 1004 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:37,351 - His name... 1005 01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,356 Is Robert Willow. 1006 01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:52,914 He's 32. 1007 01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:01,915 He was born in San Diego. 1008 01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,117 I was assigned to him by chance. 1009 01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:22,717 I mean, 1010 01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:24,871 I volunteered 1011 01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:31,996 and we got put in with each other by the center. 1012 01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:43,039 Robert's had AIDS for a year 1013 01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:52,957 and we've been buddies for three months. 1014 01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,079 Hello? 1015 01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:47,391 David, I went to the news stand this morning. 1016 01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,439 I was the first one there, I bought five copies. 1017 01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:51,955 David, it's beautiful. 1018 01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,759 I read it to your dad this morning. 1019 01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:55,076 - Mom, it's seven o'clock. 1020 01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:56,595 I never knew you could say things 1021 01:07:56,960 --> 01:07:58,519 like you did in that article. 1022 01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:00,518 Robert seems like a wonderful man. 1023 01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:01,995 - He is, mom. 1024 01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,515 Did they use the picture? 1025 01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:04,631 You haven't seen it? 1026 01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:05,916 - Mom, I just woke up. 1027 01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:06,957 It's a full page 1028 01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:09,396 with a picture of Robert at the beach. 1029 01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:10,795 He is so handsome. 1030 01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,151 He is so handsome. 1031 01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:16,238 Wait, I have it right here. 1032 01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:18,557 "People have to feel the pain and anguish 1033 01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:20,553 "like it was happening to them 1034 01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:22,678 "SO when a person comes down with AIDS 1035 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,752 "we are all taken a little sick. 1036 01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:26,633 "Straight or gay, it doesn't matter." 1037 01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:29,678 And the middle part, that's my favorite. 1038 01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:31,872 Where you said, here it is, here. 1039 01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:34,151 "In the beginning, I thought being a buddy 1040 01:08:34,480 --> 01:08:36,471 "was a way for me to help Robert 1041 01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,150 "and now I know that he helps me to feel and grow 1042 01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:41,310 "faith, even death." 1043 01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:44,834 David, I am so proud of you. 1044 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,229 - Ma, do they print the name of the center? 1045 01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,557 Yes and a box at the end with the address 1046 01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:52,915 for people to send money. 1047 01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,635 There's one part I didn't completely understand. 1048 01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:58,473 - I don't remember what I said. 1049 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:00,996 You said, "God has not sent AIDS down 1050 01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:04,478 "to punish people gay and straight who are sick 1051 01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:07,189 "because if God did that, then God wouldn't be God." 1052 01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:09,311 What did you mean? 1053 01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:11,391 - It's early, mom, 1054 01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:14,075 I didn't think the interview would print that. 1055 01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:15,674 It something that Robert says. 1056 01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:21,236 That a lot of people imagine that God is just like they are. 1057 01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:23,039 You know, a big copy of themselves. 1058 01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:27,113 Well, Robert says that a cruel God aint no God at all. 1059 01:09:28,480 --> 01:09:30,039 Well, philosophy aside, 1060 01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:31,555 it's still a wonderful article 1061 01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:33,518 and you should go out and get copies for Steve 1062 01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:35,194 and take one over to Robert. 1063 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:36,311 It'll make his day. 1064 01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:37,795 - Okay, mom. 1065 01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:39,110 Thanks for the call. 1066 01:09:39,480 --> 01:09:41,118 You and Steve are coming for dinner next Sunday. 1067 01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:42,151 You sister's gonna be here. 1068 01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,830 - Right, Sunday at five, we'll be there. 1069 01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,076 Bye, bye. 1070 01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:47,316 Goodbye, dear. 1071 01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,674 Dr. Weinstein to ER. 1072 01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,394 Dr. Weinstein to ER. 1073 01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:20,551 EKG to ER. 1074 01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:22,154 EKG to ER. 1075 01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:34,910 Dr. Dilman, please call extension 451. 1076 01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,669 Dr. Dilman, extension 451. 1077 01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,274 Dr. Dilman, please call extension 451. 1078 01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:53,199 Dr. Dilman, 451. 1079 01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:58,750 Mr. Bennett, 1080 01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:01,873 'm sorry you had to find out this way. 1081 01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:07,874 Robert died early this morning in his sleep. 1082 01:11:09,480 --> 01:11:11,312 About 4:30. 1083 01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:13,589 It didn't get on the computer yet 1084 01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:15,274 and there's a new girl on the front desk 1085 01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:16,920 and she didn't recognize you. 1086 01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,750 'I be out at the front desk if you need me. 1087 01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,077 Stay as long as you like. 1088 01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:44,870 David? 1089 01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:45,712 - Yeah, Steve. 1090 01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:48,070 I know. 1091 01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:49,959 The center just called. 1092 01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:51,190 - The center? 1093 01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:53,238 Well the hospital called them. 1094 01:12:53,560 --> 01:12:54,550 They called here. 1095 01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:57,594 Everyone's been just missing you. 1096 01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:59,274 Where are you? 1097 01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:01,916 You okay? 1098 01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,596 - I'm near the park. 1099 01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:10,676 I'm okay. 1100 01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,914 No, I'm not okay. 1101 01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:20,590 Come on home. 1102 01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:22,831 - [I be in later tonight. 1103 01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:25,954 David, you did all you could. 1104 01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:27,350 - I know, Steve. 1105 01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:32,431 It just hurts. 1106 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:38,431 I love him. 1107 01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,310 I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. 1108 01:13:48,520 --> 01:13:49,919 I miss him. 1109 01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:51,310 I know. 1110 01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:52,436 Come on home. 1111 01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:58,354 - I'll be in by seven o'clock tonight, okay? 1112 01:13:58,680 --> 01:13:59,829 Okay, I'll see you then. 1113 01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,156 And call the center. 1114 01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:02,515 They sounded pretty set on you calling in. 1115 01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:05,309 - Right. 1116 01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:10,396 Bye. 1117 01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:26,833 Lynn Alison speaking. 1118 01:14:27,160 --> 01:14:29,151 - Hi, Lynn, it's David. 1119 01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,193 David, they told me. 1120 01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:33,153 The hospital called. 1121 01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:34,919 What a terrible way to find out. 1122 01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:37,271 Come on over, we should talk. 1123 01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:40,911 - I'll be in by 10 o'clock tomorrow morning, okay? 1124 01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:44,079 Are you thinking of dropping out of the program? 1125 01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:46,357 - Lynn, don't ask me any Questions right now 1126 01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:50,719 about being a buddy or the program. 1127 01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:54,436 'M just gonna have to handle this. 1128 01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:57,838 There's something that I have to do. 78310

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