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1
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,395
SR
please call the operator.
2
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,473
Dr. Crest, please call
the operator.
3
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,755
- Who the fuck are you?
4
00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,231
I"m sorry, I don't pick
up that channel.
5
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,235
Wanna try it again?
6
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:19,677
- I said,
7
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,554
my name is David Bennett.
8
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:26,317
I'm your buddy
9
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,316
from the Gay Center.
10
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:41,957
- Have a seat.
11
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,191
Say,
12
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,479
they really got you dolled up for
your grand entrance.
13
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,919
- Well, they said I should wear
this to be on the safe side.
14
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,159
Shouldn't I?
15
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,232
- Well, you know what they say.
16
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,990
If they give you lined paper,
write the other way.
17
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,318
- Well I did feel sorta silly
getting into this.
18
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,795
But I've never done this
sorta thing before.
19
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,430
- You volunteered, didn't you?
20
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,795
Yeah.
21
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,311
- Why?
22
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,190
- I don't know, really.
23
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,750
I mean, I'm gay but
that's not big thing.
24
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,397
I don't have any friends
who have AIDs.
25
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,830
My lover, Steve,
26
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,119
he's had two friends who've--
27
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:46,871
- Died.
28
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:50,991
You can say t.
29
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:52,956
I won't break up.
30
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,829
I didn't know
what to bring you.
31
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,069
It was just an impulse.
32
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,636
- Oh, wow, I love these.
33
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,829
A great impulse.
34
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:14,877
Mmmm.
35
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,230
So what did make you
volunteer to by my buddy?
36
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,914
Fate?
37
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,036
- No.
38
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,237
I guess it's because of a book.
39
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,676
- Oh God, you're not a gay writer.
40
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:28,910
- No.
41
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,435
I'm a typesetter.
42
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,312
Freelance.
43
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,149
- Well,
44
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,874
word processing is where it's at.
45
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,635
- 'M not a word processor.
46
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,357
I'm a typesetter.
47
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,750
It's really quiet different.
48
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,439
See, I'm setting the
type for this book
49
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,400
called "The AIDS Reader" and
it includes articles
50
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,439
on how the HTLV-III virus
was discovered,
51
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,319
the quarantine laws in England,
52
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,392
confidentiality in
the blood tests,
53
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,155
life and death
statistical projections.
54
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,709
Plus, first person accounts,
55
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,309
like guys getting fired
because of AIDS
56
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,995
and getting kicked out of
their apartments.
57
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,436
They have this one piece
on being a buddy.
58
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,949
Well, I have flexible hours,
59
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,351
so I called the gay group
and I volunteered.
60
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,830
So he fell asleep on you,
just like that?
61
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,355
- Uh huh.
62
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,274
You must've been telling
him all about typesetting.
63
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,635
- I was.
64
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,359
But he's on a lot of medication.
65
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,029
I think he was just tired.
66
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,714
What's he like?
67
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:00,711
- He seems okay.
68
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:02,791
Intelligent.
69
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,798
We're both a little nervous.
70
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,440
Me especially.
71
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,989
Sorry you signed up?
72
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,510
- Well, he's not what I expected.
73
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,432
Which was what?
74
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,679
- Which was someone who was
gonna need real help.
75
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,431
I don't even know what I'm
supposed to do for him.
76
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,553
Guess I imagined an AIDS patient
was gonna be more serious.
77
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,312
Better he's up than down.
78
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,397
- Yeah, I know.
79
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,353
I guess it's just the first
time kinks, huh?
80
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,438
I gotta go, Ill
see you tonight?
81
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:39,596
- Okay.
82
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,869
I've
decided to keep a record
83
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,395
of my visits with Robert.
84
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,398
A record of my real
feelings about him
85
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,433
and me being his buddy.
86
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,710
Because I've already started to do
87
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,394
what I always do with Steve,
88
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,277
my friends and myself.
89
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,559
Fixing up what I really think so
it sounds acceptable.
90
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,109
I'm gonna try and write the
truth in this journal.
91
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:36,469
First, I don't think I even
like Robert Willow.
92
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,837
His smug attitude, his smirky,
little,
93
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,520
"If they give you lined paper,
94
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,592
"write the other way," bullshit.
95
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,318
Secondly, I think Steve has
already heard in my voice
96
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,029
that part of me is sorry for
having volunteered.
97
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,916
I feel sappy about trying to help.
98
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,317
I think I'm doing it to
make me feel good.
99
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,993
I don't have the guts to back out,
100
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,073
to explain it to Robert or explain
it to Lynn at the center.
101
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,877
So I'm gonna give it a try.
102
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,990
Sorry 1 fell asleep
on you the other day.
103
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,350
No problem.
104
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,476
How's this taste?
105
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:20,589
I hate carrots.
106
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,236
When did they
put the IVs in?
107
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,073
- This morning, early.
108
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,271
But it's just for today, I guess.
109
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,590
A new antibiotic.
110
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,471
It hurts to move my arms
with the needles.
111
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:38,871
I feel weird.
112
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,716
You're feeding me and I
don't even know you.
113
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,074
- Well, my name is David Bennett.
114
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,520
I'm 25.
115
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,160
I was born in New York City.
116
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:50,271
- Not that stuff.
117
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:52,670
Like, who are you?
118
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,478
- Why don't you ask what
you wanna know?
119
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,559
- When did you know you were gay?
120
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,555
Too personal, huh?
121
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:08,670
- Yeah.
122
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,073
I mean, I never
thought about that.
123
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,233
What a weird question to ask.
124
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:16,675
- I think it's basic.
125
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,154
A person's real identity.
126
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,276
Sex is the part that
makes you in or out,
127
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:24,951
hot or cold.
128
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,754
You know, where you passion is.
129
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,750
It's not everything but it's a big
piece of the puzzle.
130
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,512
- When did you know?
131
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,671
- When I was nine.
132
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,675
I had a crush on this older guy
133
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,913
that used to wash our windows
and water our lawn
134
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:42,917
in San Diego.
135
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,712
La Jolla, where I was born.
136
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,479
God, he was tall
137
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,797
and he used to walk
around in his shorts
138
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,116
like he owned the world.
139
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,630
That's when I knew.
140
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:58,917
What about you?
141
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:00,598
- Well,
142
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,479
I was 16 when I
realized that girls
143
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,592
really weren't gonna do it for me.
144
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,273
I knew inside that I like guys
145
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,753
and then in my senior year I
met Craig Cartwright
146
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,314
and he was my own age and
from Staten Island
147
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,755
and I knew then for sure
148
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,716
but it was no big thing.
149
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,279
I mean, I told my parents
150
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,955
and they had an inkling about me
all along and that was it.
151
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,156
Craig, he went by the
boards pretty quickly
152
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,551
but I started dating guys
until I met Steve.
153
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:36,834
- Your parents sound coo.
154
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:42,676
Mine disowned me when I told
them back in 1971.
155
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,833
It was like one of
those silent films
156
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,674
where the father throws the kid
out into the storm.
157
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,236
Except for with me, it was
California sunshine.
158
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:56,870
I don't want anymore.
159
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,510
- No, now the nurse said you're
supposed to finish this,
160
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,398
I mean all of it.
161
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,357
- Did you bring anymore Reese's?
162
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:04,750
- No.
163
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,594
Now, come on and try some of
this very tasty...
164
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,716
Well, you fry it and let me
know what it is.
165
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,233
- Shredded hospital rat.
166
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,596
Steve and you tight?
167
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,678
- We've been together
for five years.
168
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:35,910
Since I was 20.
169
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,753
- And you love him?
170
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,718
I mean, you're still in
love with him?
171
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,909
Still too personal?
172
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,630
- Steve doesn't even ask me
questions like that.
173
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,040
- So?
174
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,112
That's because he
knows the answer.
175
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,033
I retract the question.
176
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,078
- No, no, I mean, it's just
that I'm not used
177
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,879
to being asked about my
private life.
178
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:05,751
I love Steve.
179
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:08,830
He's been there so long
180
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,878
that I don't think about him
very consciously.
181
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,070
We're very different.
182
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,114
I am security oriented and
he's more outgoing.
183
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,475
But we're still in love.
184
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:24,916
- How can you tell?
185
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,194
Is it still sexy after five years?
186
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,840
- You've got a one-track mind.
187
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,514
In the beginning, Steve liked to
have sex more than I did.
188
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:38,750
But then I sorta caught up.
189
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,839
I know what you're thinking.
190
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:47,991
- What?
191
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,877
- Except for when we
first became lovers,
192
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,031
I've had two affairs.
193
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:56,869
One with Steve's best friend,
194
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,157
but since that, that's
four years ago,
195
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,715
I've been faithful to Steve.
196
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,270
As far as I know, he's been
exclusively mine.
197
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:08,471
What?
198
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,319
- That's what I was gonna ask.
199
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,550
What do you mean,
disowned him?
200
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,030
- Mom, when they found out he
was gay that was it.
201
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,191
They cut him off.
202
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,669
But he's sick.
203
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:24,791
Maybe dying.
204
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,758
What sort of people could--
205
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,913
- Mom, it's not like everybody
has the same values.
206
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,117
A child is your child,
no matter what.
207
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,029
Maybe you should get their
address and drive them?
208
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,953
- Mom, Robert's a grown man.
209
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,509
Well, you're his buddy.
210
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:39,910
Maybe you should just do it.
211
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,231
Write them a letter,
set up a reunion.
212
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,830
- Fly them to New York,
orchestra seats
213
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,549
and then off to the hospital for a
big reconciliation?
214
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,109
Don't get sarcastic.
215
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,311
You know what I mean.
216
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,796
- Mom, if there were gonna come
217
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:54,991
they would've done it by now.
218
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,278
All parents are not
like you and Dad.
219
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,998
Does he need anything?
220
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:02,674
Does he have a lover?
221
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,110
- I don't know.
222
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:05,999
So far, I've talked
more about myself
223
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,674
than he has told me about him.
224
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,873
How bad is it, the AIDS?
225
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,874
- He's had pneumonia two times in
the last nine months.
226
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,031
He's pretty weak.
227
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,391
Well your father and I are
very proud of you, David,
228
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,319
volunteering and all.
229
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,956
If there's anything we can do,
let me know.
230
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:24,917
Give my best to Steve.
231
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:26,957
- Okay.
232
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:28,996
I love you.
233
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,475
I love you too, dear.
234
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,517
- Bye, bye.
235
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,399
Bye.
236
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,437
Seeing
Robert helpless,
237
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,673
in pain and trying not to show t,
made me feel foolish.
238
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,990
I'm glad I decided to stay
with this buddy thing.
239
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,273
Suddenly my parents and Steve
seem very special.
240
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,077
And Robert, with his
service optimism,
241
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,038
has piqued my curiosity.
242
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,473
What's he like when I'm not there?
243
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,317
What was he like before acquired
immunodeficiency syndrome?
244
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,754
I hate writing the words
245
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,556
and I wanna know how
sick he really is.
246
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,676
At the center they said he
is going to die,
247
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,034
that there are no miracles,
248
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,230
that I should encourage him
249
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,471
No}
emotionally close to him.
250
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,558
That I must keep an
objective distance
251
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,877
or else I may not be
able to help him.
252
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,874
It's clear that if I'm going to
be Robert's buddy,
253
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,237
'm gonna have to do more
than just show up.
254
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,715
I'm gonna have o listen.
255
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,034
- And my mom,
256
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,152
she couldn't understand your
parents kicking you out.
257
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,437
- Looking back,
258
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,670
it was terrible.
259
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,036
But at the time I fell
right into the world
260
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,873
of dawning gay liberation,
261
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,115
in Edward's arms.
262
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,716
Edward's the great
love of my life.
263
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:13,472
His two favorite things are
getting it on outdoors
264
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,274
and politics.
265
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,999
Gay rights, gay community,
266
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,719
marching, demonstrating.
267
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,838
Edward was so intellectual.
268
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:25,913
And I was a gardener.
269
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,036
Very laid back.
270
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,156
We were a hot match.
271
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,079
The brainy politico and his
humpy sidekick.
272
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,594
We bought a van.
273
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,240
Drove around Yosemite,
274
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,072
Tahoe,
275
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,111
down Highway One.
276
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,194
He was my own
professional homosexual.
277
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,154
He used to lecture at schools,
to the cops
278
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,039
and before church groups.
279
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,636
He got a job with a gay
newspaper in San Francisco
280
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,112
and I used to help him with the
midnight deliveries
281
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,350
and the mailing lists.
282
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,758
It was an open relationship.
283
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,520
We both slept around.
284
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,955
Edward more than me.
285
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,511
I always wanted something
that would last.
286
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,074
It's funny how no two lovers
287
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,154
ever love each other the same.
288
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,192
Well, it was good for seven years.
289
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,117
Then the newspaper failed and
politics went mainstream
290
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,669
and Edward's street methods
291
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:35,796
just didn't fit in.
292
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,149
Edward moved to Hawaii
293
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,034
and then to Portland, Oregon.
294
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:43,911
He was burned out.
295
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,110
As for me, I kept the van
296
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,077
and I drove around like a nomad
297
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,676
until 1980, when I met Tom,
298
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,673
who was vacationing from New York.
299
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,630
We fell very
conventionally in love
300
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,394
and I came East to give it a try.
301
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,350
Tom is a successful
executive consultant
302
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,638
and he was a lot of fun
until I got AIDS.
303
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,391
I think that our relationship
might have gotten
304
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,239
through the usual problems,
305
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:23,235
but the AIDS hysteria,
306
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,310
the fear that he'd get it from me,
307
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,271
the guilt that maybe I'd
gotten it from him,
308
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,271
just killed his love.
309
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,834
So he gave me three thousand
dollars in cash.
310
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,949
I rented a room from my friend,
Philip,
311
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,310
and I sought treatment.
312
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,994
New York is a hard place
for sick people
313
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,276
and if you've got AIDS,
314
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,351
it's the pits.
315
00:19:58,720 --> 00:19:59,391
- He dropped you?
316
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,159
Just like that?
317
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,470
- Tom's not a strong person.
318
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,679
But there's Ellen.
319
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:10,751
She's a good friend.
320
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:12,511
Neighbor.
321
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,915
She brings me my mail
322
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:16,876
and the flowers.
323
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,554
I never really took to New York.
324
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:23,709
And by the time I realized
325
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,439
I shoulda gone back to California,
326
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,594
I was too sick to pull
off the change.
327
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:31,551
- Edward?
328
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,237
Does he know?
329
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,069
- We wrote a few letters.
330
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,517
He came to visit me
six months ago,
331
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,831
when I had the first
bout of pneumonia.
332
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,880
But I was really out of it
333
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,235
and I wasn't able to...
334
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,436
To really talk to him.
335
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,634
He came by everyday.
336
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,838
I wished I had had the strength
to talk to him then.
337
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:21,956
He was really broke.
338
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,717
And that trip took all he had
on a lot of levels.
339
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,031
I wish
340
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,118
I coulda have bridged that time
341
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,160
that we had back then.
342
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,470
But we didn't.
343
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:54,269
That was my fault.
344
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,033
Mr. Bennett,
345
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:02,236
I'm sorry to interrupt
346
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,312
but it's time for Robert's
medication now.
347
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,274
- You don't wanna watch this.
348
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,755
It's pretty grisly.
349
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:14,150
"The treatment."
350
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,318
- No, I can take it.
351
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:19,751
- I know.
352
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,556
I was just kidding.
353
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,311
But it's the rules.
354
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,518
I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett,
355
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,274
but those really are the rules.
356
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,797
Come on, David, come on,
David, yeah.
357
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,595
All right, smooth move, David,
that's it.
358
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,349
Al right, lose your breath,
David.
359
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:49,630
Go with your breath, come on.
360
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,320
Follow through, all the way
through, David.
361
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,351
Yeah, that's it.
362
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,630
Now bring it in.
363
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:54,916
Don't close your eyes.
364
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,275
Keep them open, come on.
365
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,631
Yeah, just a little longer, good.
366
00:22:58,960 --> 00:22:59,950
All right.
367
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:01,315
Yeah, keep those elbows in, David.
368
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,832
How can Robert
just sit in that bed
369
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,390
and tell me the intimate
details of his life?
370
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,274
Like it was some nostalgic
trip down memory lane?
371
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,631
No anger, no regret.
372
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,874
All the time and energy wasted
373
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,277
on his gay lib political dreams,
374
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,396
the gay community,
375
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,829
and what did it get him?
376
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:28,430
Abandoned.
377
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,278
And yet he's so cool
and easy with it
378
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,829
like he was telling me a story.
379
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,473
Edward, the great
love of his life.
380
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,394
It sounds so silly, and yet, when
he said it I thought,
381
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,113
"Am I the great love of
Steve's life?
382
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,277
"Is he mine?"
383
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:56,396
- Jim?
384
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,431
Am I a wimp?
385
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,753
David, you're coming along
386
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,480
but the problem is not
in your body.
387
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,239
Half the battle's in your mind.
388
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,997
It's in your head.
389
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:16,996
I'm angry at Tom
390
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,640
for not sticking by Robert
391
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,474
and Edward for drifting
out of his life.
392
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,030
But more, I'm deeply angry
with Robert himself
393
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,431
for taking it all without a fight.
394
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,831
For accepting the way that these
men have treated him.
395
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,676
Although, honestly, I don't know
how I would've handled it.
396
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,353
If Steve stopped caring,
397
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:39,631
what would I do?
398
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,436
- These are the galley proofs
for the AIDS Reader.
399
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,551
See, these are almost finished.
400
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,393
They're close to perfect
401
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,512
and I've figured out a way to
lay out this material
402
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,478
so it'll be very simple to read.
403
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,552
- Looks like a book set to go.
404
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,676
- See, that's the difference
405
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,991
between typesetting and
word processing.
406
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,509
It's camera ready.
407
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,399
- You're really into this,
aren't you?
408
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:17,835
- Yeah, I like my job.
409
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,072
- "AIDS is perhaps the harsh
but real retribution
410
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,670
"of a God too long neglected.
411
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:41,475
"Nature's revenge on an
unnatural minority's
412
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,719
"arrogant disregard of her
elemental law."
413
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,999
What's in this book you're doing?
414
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,513
- Well, it has all different
points of view in it.
415
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,593
- And this is whose point of view?
416
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,196
- Lots of religious people view
ages as a punishment
417
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,956
sent from God to gays.
418
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:07,111
- Do people...
419
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,157
really think God wants me here?
420
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,390
Robert, stop.
421
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:18,715
- Isolates gays from
everybody else!
422
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,036
Like we're expendable!
423
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,158
- Robert, take a breath
for Christ sakes!
424
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:24,992
- It's like...
425
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,477
saying God...
426
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,634
created the Nazis to keep
the Jews in line.
427
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:32,552
- Robert, take a breath.
428
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:33,597
- Or all the black people...
429
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,115
- Robert, you're hurting yourself,
430
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,312
- All the black people
starving in Africa
431
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,630
like it's their fault!
432
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,917
- It's just a book, Robert,
come on Now.
433
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:45,475
- So God created the virus
434
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,599
to stop gay people
from having sex?!
435
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,597
Robert, just
forget about the book.
436
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:50,631
- To kill them!
437
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:51,558
- Stop!
438
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,513
- A cruel God is no God at all!
439
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:54,472
Robert, lay Back.
440
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,160
Relax, relax.
441
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:56,958
So stupid!
442
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,475
Tale a breath.
443
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,672
Come on, come on, come on.
444
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:01,671
Relax.
445
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,558
That's good, yeah.
446
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:18,556
Once at
a swimming pool,
447
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,235
I saw a little girl almost drown
448
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,517
and last year, at a restaurant,
I watched helplessly
449
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,911
as a man nearly chocked to death
450
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,318
till someone struck him on the
chest and saves his life.
451
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,200
Both that girl and man wanted to
catch their breaths
452
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,193
but something about
Robert scares me.
453
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,318
He was more interested
in shouting down
454
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,153
that "God is revenge" quotation
455
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:40,914
than regaining his own composure.
456
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,033
What sort of a man could feel so
personally attacked
457
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,749
by the words on those
galley sheets?
458
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,640
I have never seen a response
SO inappropriate
459
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:53,671
and, yet, so real.
460
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,758
He seemed willing to literally die
rather than shut up.
461
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,837
I've never met a person
like Robert Willow.
462
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,149
He unnerves me.
463
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,230
- Hello?
464
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,069
David, it's Robert.
465
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,710
I called to thank you for
getting the nurse in time.
466
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,792
- I'm sorry I brought the
galley sheets in.
467
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,158
If I thought they were going to
upset you, I wouldn't have.
468
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:38,998
- No,
469
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,711
I wanna read them.
470
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:42,990
It's just my way.
471
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,435
'M still trying to change things
that are beyond me.
472
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,560
I just get so angry thinking
that some people
473
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,757
thing God is like them.
474
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,912
Anyway, thanks for not listening
but for getting me help.
475
00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:00,876
- I'm glad I was there.
476
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,958
But look, I
need a favor.
477
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:05,910
- What?
478
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,831
- Well, my roommate Philip,
479
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,674
he's been paying my share of the
rent now for six months
480
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,319
and he needs to rend my room.
481
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,400
You know how expensive
everything is in New York.
482
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:20,232
- Yeah?
483
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:22,549
So what do you want me to do?
484
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,959
- Well, I was wondering
485
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,357
if you could come to the
hospital and get my keys
486
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:33,197
and then go to my apartment and
pick up my personal things.
487
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:34,837
There's not a lot.
488
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,478
But Philip needs the room empty.
489
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,632
- Robert, where do you live?
490
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,479
Can't he bring your things over?
491
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,675
- On the Upper West side.
492
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,354
West 76th Street.
493
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,749
Look, David,
494
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:51,751
Philip would do it
495
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,350
but he's afraid to come
to the hospital.
496
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,552
He's probably gonna burn the keys
when you leave them
497
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,837
but he's done his best
for six months.
498
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,871
- Sure, Robert, I'll come
over tomorrow.
499
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:04,591
- Thanks.
500
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,877
Philip works during the day,
501
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,674
50 you won't run into him.
502
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:10,990
No scenes.
503
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,873
Sure, Robert, it's
really no hustle at all.
504
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,839
- Thanks.
505
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,918
Goodnight.
506
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:23,996
- Goodnight.
507
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,872
"Dear Edward,
508
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,350
I don't know if I'll even mail
this letter to you
509
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,233
"hut it seems like I've got AIDS.
510
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,597
"All the tests point to it.
511
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,991
"My funds are evaporating
512
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,431
"and the first signs of this
phenolemia have hit.
513
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,034
"Travel seems impossible.
514
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,039
"Tom has gone to pieces
with the news
515
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,273
"and I feel cut off an utterly
alone accept for Ellen,
516
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,954
"who visits and calls."
517
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:44,831
"Dear Bobby,
518
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,953
"I got the horrible news from
Ellen who wrote me a note.
519
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,318
"I've seen a lot of old friends
taken ill and now you,
520
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,755
"the sweetest man.
521
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,838
"And I thought I'd run
out of tears.
522
00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:58,871
"I haven't.
523
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,354
"I'll try to get to you.
524
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,909
"As always, money is a problem.
525
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:05,589
"There are people here in Portland
526
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,473
"who are trying
megavitamin therapy
527
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,949
"on the holistic approach.
528
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,993
"But Ellen indicated things in New
York are scattered.
529
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:16,997
"I suppose everyone is
scurrying around,
530
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,789
"looking for something to
make it go away.
531
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,509
"I won't bore you but until the
Federal Government
532
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,194
"really allocates to dollars,
533
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,790
"you and the rest will be left
to erratically funded
534
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,873
"local scenes and the kindness of
friends and strangers.
535
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,960
"A collective effort is needed but
I doubt it will happen.
536
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:36,476
"Love, Edward.
537
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:39,190
"PS,
538
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,240
"I think my dad will give me some
of the cash to visit.
539
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,710
"The AIDS issue finally got
through to him."”
540
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,713
Hi,
this is Philip.
541
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,951
If you're calling about
the room for rent,
542
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,998
and, yes, it's still open,
543
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,199
please leave your name and number
50 I can get back to you.
544
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,278
'I be in after 6 p.m.
545
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,950
and we can arrange a time
for you to see it.
546
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:14,310
If you're calling for me,
547
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,472
I'll be at my job
number till five.
548
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:17,631
206
549
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:18,950
0309.
550
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,269
Bye, for now.
551
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:22,874
Wait for the beep before speaking
552
00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:24,275
and talk as long as you like.
553
00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:48,957
- Where was this?
554
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,277
- This was in San
Francisco at Land's End.
555
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,239
Edward and I were clowning around.
556
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,550
Oh God, what a time.
557
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,320
Edward borrowed one of
those Kodak cameras.
558
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,994
You could run it on automatic.
559
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,874
Was that a nude
beach or what?
560
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:09,752
- Not really.
561
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,270
Some people went nude.
562
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,473
And there was a lot of
action in those bushes.
563
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,150
You could sun or fun or both.
564
00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:24,911
- Robert?
565
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,035
Can I ask you something?
566
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,315
If you could be healthy,
567
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,194
I mean completely healthy,
568
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,037
for one day,
569
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:42,191
what would you do?
570
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:45,034
- No strings?
571
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,471
Just 24 hours, like magic?
572
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:48,631
- A day, yeah.
573
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:51,837
What would you do?
574
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:56,510
- Well, I'd be with Edward.
575
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,230
Not in the past, like
in the movie.
576
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,430
But here, in New York City,
577
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:07,710
but we'd be lovers
578
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,198
and we'd get it one because
there's no one I've ever had
579
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:12,516
who was as hot as Edward.
580
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,714
This, of course, is a purely
personal preference.
581
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,319
But we'd be together.
582
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,392
Breakfast, shower,
583
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,393
then go out for a walk.
584
00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:26,278
Central Park.
585
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,717
Okay but this is a little weird
586
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,556
but at an offbeat time,
like at two o'clock,
587
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,955
'd take the People's Express and
I'd fly to Washington D.C.
588
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,193
And I'd have a two by four
and a magic marker
589
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:46,271
and a piece of cardboard
590
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,040
and I'd be a one man picket
outside the White House.
591
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,191
Just a jester, you know?
592
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:55,311
Very Don Quixote.
593
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,320
And I'd write something on
the cardboard like,
594
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,598
"America, AIDS is not
a gay disease.
595
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:04,716
"It hurts everybody.
596
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,192
"Release all the money for
research and care."
597
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:12,275
Then I'd go back to New York
598
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,635
and I'd be with Edward.
599
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,349
We'd have a great dinner,
600
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,353
hit a couple of piano bars
for a few songs
601
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,916
and then go home and fuck
our brains out.
602
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,198
"My Healthy Day" by Robert Willow.
603
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,750
Crazy, huh?
604
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:45,717
- I just wondered.
605
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:48,396
- What would you do?
606
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:50,917
- What do you mean?
607
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:53,873
- Well, you are healthy
608
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:55,036
and you've got Steve.
609
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,112
What would you do with the day?
610
00:37:58,440 --> 00:37:59,191
- We live together.
611
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:00,476
I'm not--
612
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,319
- Another below the belt question?
613
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:03,675
- Yeah.
614
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,031
Your questions always seem to come
out of left field...
615
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:07,991
To me.
616
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,791
Steve and I go to the movies
and we visit friends.
617
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:15,679
We entertain at home.
618
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,593
Once and awhile we go out dancing.
619
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:23,711
We sleep together.
620
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:27,072
- Is he hot?
621
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:29,597
- Yes.
622
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,315
To me.
623
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,917
I mean, this of course is a purely
personal preference.
624
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,032
- How hot?
625
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,714
What are the juicy details?
626
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:40,592
- Hot is...
627
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,518
Hot.
628
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:47,358
- Oh.
629
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,390
I know.
630
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,397
I just wanted to hear you
say the words.
631
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,591
Good night, David.
632
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,149
Goodnight.
633
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,431
I left those chapter
headings right on top of
634
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,238
the consult.
635
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:10,958
Right.
636
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:11,752
Okay?
637
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:12,638
Okay.
638
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,229
Government projections,
639
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,358
and these are the most
conservative figures,
640
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,796
estimate that by 1988
there could be
641
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,676
30 thousand cases of AIDS in the
United Sates alone
642
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,917
and if unchecked by a
preventative vaccine
643
00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:29,153
And/or antiviral cure,
the number by 1990
644
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,391
might reach 100 thousand cases.
645
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:32,670
Although in America,
646
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,514
AIDS has struck mainly
homosexual males.
647
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,030
The thousands of heterosexual
couples in Africa
648
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,556
who have the illness may
cruelly shortsighted
649
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,111
the initial perception that
AIDS is a gay disease.
650
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,994
The growing number of cases
among needle drug users,
651
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,271
women, children and the newly born
652
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,433
present the medical and
governmental establishment
653
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,273
with the test of their
ability to solve
654
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,911
a truly national problem with
international ramifications.
655
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,834
The immediate threat to
America's blood supply,
656
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,760
the plasma industry and the
thousands of hemophiliacs
657
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,794
who depend most immediately on the
purity and availability
658
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,590
of transfusions is
forebodingly clear.
659
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:46,910
Goodnight, David.
660
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:52,036
- Goodnight, babe.
661
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:44,760
- Okay, today we're bringing you
a special program.
662
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:45,956
- I hate television.
663
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:47,719
- There's a lot of good stuff on.
664
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,720
Don't you like TV's bloopers,
bleeps and blunders?
665
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,430
Anyway, this isn't
regular television.
666
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,592
It's a special installation.
667
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,473
- Where'd you get the VCR?
668
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,750
- From home.
669
00:44:59,120 --> 00:44:59,837
It's mine and Steve's, we
bought it last year.
670
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:01,389
It's great.
671
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,512
You can watch whatever you
want when you want to.
672
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:04,756
- I've read the ads.
673
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:06,716
- Okay.
674
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:07,836
Here you go.
675
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:10,035
You're in to politics?
676
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,189
Well go for it.
677
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:23,878
Gay Day?
678
00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:25,116
Uh huh.
679
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:25,912
This year?
680
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,315
Uh huh.
681
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:28,675
Where'd you get it?
682
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,434
There's this gay cable
show here in Manhattan
683
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,797
and they do like
national coverage.
684
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,116
I'd figure you'd like it.
685
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,158
Lesbians and gays coast to coast.
686
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:38,714
- Did you march?
687
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:39,672
- No, I'm not into it.
688
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,837
- Haven't you ever been to one?
689
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:44,833
- A few years ago I
went with Steve.
690
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:45,592
It was tacky.
691
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:46,756
A freak show.
692
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:48,950
- But Gay Day is great.
693
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,157
Just look at all those people.
694
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,632
Most of the year passing for
straight, then wham,
695
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:56,950
they're out!
696
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,954
The world has to see them, has
to deal with them.
697
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,953
- Why should I want the
world to see me?
698
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,195
- Well it beats hiding.
699
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,314
- I don't hide
700
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:08,869
but I don't have to tell
everyone in all the world
701
00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:10,389
everyday that I like guys.
702
00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:11,869
It's my private business.
703
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,634
- I wasn't trying to tell
you what to do.
704
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,389
David, I just thought
that coming out
705
00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:20,119
was something everyone longed for.
706
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:22,834
You know, a chance to be yourself
707
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,151
without worrying who's watching or
what they're thinking.
708
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,710
- Look, Robert, I don't feel
it the way you do.
709
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,678
'M not against the parade,
I'm glad it happens.
710
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,594
It just doesn't have this deep
of meaning for me.
711
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,797
- Well, to me it stands for
not letting the world
712
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:35,951
say that I'm not here.
713
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,193
That there's only supposed to
be straight people,
714
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:40,834
straight love, straight pain.
715
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,912
- Yeah, but why cut yourself off
with the gay label?
716
00:46:43,240 --> 00:46:45,516
Why separate yourself from
everybody else?
717
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,071
- I only feel separated
when I have to lie
718
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,796
and say that I'm straight
when I'm really gay.
719
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,239
Do you think that if
straight senators
720
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,710
and their straight sons had AIDS
721
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,833
that all that money that's being
held up in Washington,
722
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:05,673
and I read this in your...
723
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,111
Those galley sheets
you brought in,
724
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,398
that all that money would be
taking so long to come down
725
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:15,754
to research and hospices
here in New York City
726
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:20,119
with the most dead and the
most cases and me,
727
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,757
'm just a number in a pile
here in the Big Apple.
728
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:25,559
There's not even an AIDS clinic.
729
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:26,790
- Robert, take it easy.
730
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,270
- Here in New York City
it's an epidemic
731
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,750
and I was lost
732
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,310
until that gay crisis
group took me in.
733
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,314
No money from the
state or the city.
734
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,074
No bucks from Washington.
735
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:40,834
But just some gay people
736
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,316
and their straight
friends who volunteer,
737
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:48,677
like you.
738
00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:57,949
- As a homosexual,
739
00:47:58,280 --> 00:47:59,236
as relating to women,
740
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:02,837
sex in terms of the clothes
they wear in stuff,
741
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,629
there's also a political
feminine behind it.
742
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,473
I mean, I feel a victim of sexism
743
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:12,078
and I think to understand what
I victimized about,
744
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,351
I had to understand what
sex is all about.
745
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,275
This helps me feel androgynous
or hermaphrodite.
746
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,718
I mean, it makes me feel
like a whole person
747
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,594
instead of just half a person.
748
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,712
- So,
749
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:27,876
this parade,
750
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,989
this tacky, once a
year freak show,
751
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,953
is my one chance to feel connected
752
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,479
because they're not all
just gay people
753
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,239
marching in that crowd.
754
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,637
There's a lot of straight people,
755
00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,110
parents and grandparents,
756
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,349
and in that sense,
757
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:50,357
in that moment,
758
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:57,270
then we are all just people and
the gay label vanishes
759
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,273
because we're together
760
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,716
without having to deny
the differences.
761
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,073
That's why the whole damn thing is
so important to me.
762
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:10,916
Besides,
763
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,432
everybody oughta have a chance to
make a little noise,
764
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,279
raise a little hell
once and awhile.
765
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:24,189
God, how I hate it in here
when it's quiet.
766
00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:27,071
Sometimes I think this is
767
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,272
the quietest place in
the whole world.
768
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:33,916
Some nights,
769
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,078
I lie here in this bed,
770
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:40,917
all I can hear
771
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:45,559
is the sound of my own blood
772
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:50,479
running around inside me.
773
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,755
The other night,
774
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,071
I masturbated.
775
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,391
- Well, that's good.
776
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:10,034
- It was terrible.
777
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,870
I jerked off.
778
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,589
Well, everything worked out,
779
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,150
I hadn't fallen apart yet.
780
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:24,673
My cock came
781
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:27,511
but I didn't.
782
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,270
I didn't feel it.
783
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:41,035
There's more to sex than an orgasm
grabbed in the dark.
784
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,996
I started alone and I
finished alone.
785
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:54,796
- Robert, you're
under such stress.
786
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:57,872
- David,
787
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,998
I don't wanna die.
788
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,478
I wanna live.
789
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:10,556
But I don't think I'm
gonna make it.
790
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:16,071
I'm never gonna get out of here.
791
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:22,030
I don't wanna die.
792
00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:58,074
I started
out in the buddy thing
793
00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,549
with reservations.
794
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,074
I didn't even like Robert.
795
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:03,871
I almost quit.
796
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:07,556
And now I'm hopelessly
lost in his world.
797
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,199
That room and all his dreams and
hopes and memories.
798
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,149
I've gotten too close to him.
799
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,070
And my big try to be objective
and to tell the truth
800
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:21,919
in this journal is a farce.
801
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:25,950
I don't know where I stand
802
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:28,072
on half the things he's
been raving about.
803
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,080
I felt superior to him
at the start.
804
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:33,310
All his old, tired ideas.
805
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:39,396
But some of what he
says sounds right.
806
00:52:39,720 --> 00:52:42,075
Where is the help going
to come from?
807
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:44,871
The government?
808
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:47,790
Charities?
809
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:50,432
The people?
810
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:58,632
All' know is that I want
Robert to live.
811
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,998
I wanna call some doctor up in
France or Japan or Atlanta
812
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,955
and say, "Send some of those
drugs you're trying out!
813
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:06,957
"Save Robert!
814
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:09,275
"Give him back his life!
815
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,758
"Let him go marching in every Gay
Day parade there is.
816
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:16,469
"Let him be a gardener again.
817
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:19,918
"Just let him out of that room."
818
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,715
And in a flash I'm swept up in
his fear of dying.
819
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,114
I've never thought about dying
820
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,114
and now I'm getting attached to a
guy who is going to die.
821
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,112
I hate writing it.
822
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:37,198
I despise even thinking it.
823
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,836
Like saying it makes it so.
824
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,515
Like spilling out the words
that Robert will die
825
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:46,597
IS me writing his
death certificate.
826
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:53,709
Did he like
the cable show?
827
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:55,150
Parade footage?
828
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:56,959
- We sorta had a fight over it.
829
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,680
You should bring him
some of those porno tapes.
830
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:01,030
Less controversy.
831
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,555
- Actually, that's all I do
most of the time
832
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:03,751
IS argue with him.
833
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,192
Well, that's okay, at
least it's not dull.
834
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:08,271
- It's all wrong.
835
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:11,110
David, it's pretty
clear you've gotten
836
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:12,236
very close to Robert.
837
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,229
You know, David, the only
difference between
838
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,876
the guys you fantasize about
sometimes when we have sex
839
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,158
and the guy I fantasize about
sometimes when we have sex
840
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,431
is that I know the guy that
you're thinking about.
841
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:29,390
- Who?
842
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:31,595
- Oh, come on.
843
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:32,557
Robert, of course.
844
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,313
- And what do you fantasize about?
845
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:45,354
- Well, if you're very good and
step into the shower
846
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,239
I may tell you.
847
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:18,154
- I remember when this came out.
848
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:19,072
It was years ago.
849
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:21,356
You seen it?
850
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:23,114
- A few times, at home,
with Steve.
851
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,198
- Why'd you pick it?
852
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,397
- Because it's about
San Francisco.
853
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:29,511
I thought you'd enjoy t.
854
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:32,149
If you want, I could
always take it home
855
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,198
and bring back "The Boys
of Baltimore."
856
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:36,918
- This is fine.
857
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:40,918
Although, it's weird
having you here.
858
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:44,549
I'll leave if you want.
859
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:46,678
- No, stay.
860
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,389
You can explain the parts that
I don't understand.
861
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:52,797
- So, you admit there are some
things about gay life
862
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,389
that you don't understand.
863
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:32,512
Yeah, come on Davy,
come on.
864
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:33,432
Yeah.
865
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:34,909
65.
866
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:35,712
Good.
867
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:36,518
66.
868
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:37,557
- How am I doing?
869
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:38,676
- Great, 67.
870
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:40,757
Right, champ.
871
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:41,552
68.
872
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:42,711
- Look, wide open.
873
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:43,672
- Shut up.
874
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:44,552
69.
875
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:46,710
Breathe with it, come on.
876
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:48,835
70, yeah.
877
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:50,873
- Did anyone ever tell you
878
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,315
that you have beautiful...
879
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,391
eyes.
880
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:56,995
- Yeah, 71.
881
00:58:57,320 --> 00:58:59,596
Ever since I got muscles
when I was 15.
882
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:01,990
72.
883
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:03,116
Good.
884
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:04,396
73.
885
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:06,717
I also have a lovely personality,
you know?
886
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:07,791
74.
887
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,077
Last one, come on, yeah.
888
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:10,952
75.
889
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:13,875
So how is he doing?
890
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,349
You seem in great spirits.
891
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:18,075
- He's on new pills.
892
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:21,591
It's crazy.
893
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,717
But I think Robert's
IR
894
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:28,590
He seems a lot better.
895
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:31,120
I mean, who knows,
896
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,199
but he looks like he
could hold his own
897
00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:36,477
and slide through the summer.
898
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:51,837
Hello?
899
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:53,673
Is this David Bennett?
900
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:54,990
- Yes.
901
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,033
I'm Silvia Douglas with
the Long Island Chronical.
902
00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:59,559
- What can I do for you?
903
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:01,279
Well, I wanna do an
article about your work.
904
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,477
You know, your experience
being a buddy.
905
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:06,669
- You what?
906
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:08,519
Ideally, an interview
R RN}
907
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:10,478
with you about that AIDS problem.
908
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:12,359
You know, what you do as a buddy,
909
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,557
I wanna know about your clients,
stuff like that.
910
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,593
- Listen, how did you get my
name and number?
911
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,354
I don't wanna give you
an interview.
912
01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:21,114
What I'm doing is private,
it's a personal thing,
913
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:22,475
and I don't wanna help
you sell papers
914
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,831
with the pain of a guy who I--
915
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,754
Listen, we've been
trying to publish
916
01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,516
the most accurate information
we can about AIDS.
917
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,194
- Look, Miss Douglas,
918
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:34,550
I don't wanna be abrupt,
919
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,520
but I'm gonna hang up with some
civility right now
920
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:40,717
and I wish you wouldn't
call me up again.
921
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:42,636
Goodbye.
922
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,191
An article in a newspaper.
923
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:50,430
An interview.
924
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:52,034
It's ghoulish.
925
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:53,714
Why?
926
01:00:54,080 --> 01:00:55,957
- Because you're sick and your
pain belongs to you.
927
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:59,079
It's not something to sell
newspapers with.
928
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:01,516
It's like those TEAD reporters at
fires asking mothers
929
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:03,951
what they feel with a burnt
kid in their arms.
930
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:06,554
- I think you should do it.
931
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,154
You can use my name.
932
01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:10,629
- Robert, I don't wanna do it.
933
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:15,157
- You don't have to use
your own name.
934
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:18,717
Nobody would know.
935
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:23,631
- Is that it?
936
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:25,916
You think I'm hiding,
937
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:30,512
that I'm ashamed to say in public,
in print.
938
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:31,955
- No, David.
939
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:35,992
I just thought it might
help someone.
940
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:40,430
You never know who
reads those things.
941
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:43,199
It's like your aids book.
942
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:45,756
It'll help.
943
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:47,831
It has to.
944
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:51,594
- You never stop, do you?
945
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:55,071
- Look, David,
946
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:58,393
I know I'm losing it.
947
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:04,398
I can barely remember half the
things I wanna say
948
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,630
but I'm thinking clearly now
949
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:11,600
and I think you oughta do t.
950
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:12,716
- For gay lib?
951
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,191
- No.
952
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:21,876
Do it for me.
953
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:26,915
- Always below the belt.
954
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:32,113
There's never been
anyone like you.
955
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:36,956
- You can use one of my
old pictures.
956
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:42,075
The one at the beach.
957
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,631
- So how's it gonna help?
958
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:46,518
Tell me.
959
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:49,319
- I don't know exactly.
960
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:55,119
Maybe somebody reads it and
becomes more careful sexually.
961
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:58,911
That knocks down their
chances of getting it.
962
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:02,314
Or somebody reads it
963
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,990
and sends money to one of
those gay centers.
964
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:11,994
Or they get angry and they write
letter to the mayor
965
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,550
and asks why more
isn't being done.
966
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:17,831
- You're hopeless.
967
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:20,678
You haven't learned a thing.
968
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,957
You're still back there
preaching on your soup box,
969
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:24,998
thinking that you can
change the world.
970
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,796
- I can't change anything, David.
971
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,238
I can barely make it
to the toilet.
972
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,435
- Do you wanna write down
what I should say?
973
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:38,716
I mean, if I'm gonna
do this thing,
974
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,720
I want it to be absolutely
politically correct.
975
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:46,791
- No.
976
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,276
Just be honest.
977
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:54,951
Just tell the truth.
978
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,718
- So you want some more cassettes?
979
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:08,951
Steve bought some more
cassettes yesterday.
980
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,189
- Well, an orderly came
in yesterday.
981
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:17,837
Caught me watching "The
Bigger The Better”
982
01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,558
and it looks like my VCR
983
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,913
and my growing stash of
X-rated classics
984
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:30,310
has to go.
985
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:31,357
- Can they do that?
986
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:33,956
- It's already done.
987
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:35,752
- Well I'll talk to them.
988
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:36,638
- No.
989
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:38,991
Don't.
990
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:41,111
At this point,
991
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:46,509
it's best I appear to be the most
cooperative patient.
992
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:50,792
I don't wanna wear out my welcome.
993
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:55,870
- What?
994
01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:59,751
- Thanks for agreeing to
do the interview.
995
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,039
- What's a buddy for anyway?
996
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:12,995
I never
used to use these
997
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:14,958
but frankly it gets everything
998
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:16,918
so I don't have to take notes.
999
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:20,476
Okay, Dave, just begin
at the beginning
1000
01:05:20,840 --> 01:05:23,036
and try to tell me about
being a buddy.
1001
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:25,590
You know, how you got into it.
1002
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,038
Why you got into it, what it's
like, what he's like.
1003
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:31,311
And I guess we could
start with his name.
1004
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:37,351
- His name...
1005
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,356
Is Robert Willow.
1006
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:52,914
He's 32.
1007
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:01,915
He was born in San Diego.
1008
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,117
I was assigned to him by chance.
1009
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:22,717
I mean,
1010
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:24,871
I volunteered
1011
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:31,996
and we got put in with each
other by the center.
1012
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:43,039
Robert's had AIDS for a year
1013
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:52,957
and we've been buddies
for three months.
1014
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,079
Hello?
1015
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:47,391
David, I went to the news
stand this morning.
1016
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,439
I was the first one there, I
bought five copies.
1017
01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:51,955
David, it's beautiful.
1018
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,759
I read it to your dad
this morning.
1019
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:55,076
- Mom, it's seven o'clock.
1020
01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:56,595
I never knew you
could say things
1021
01:07:56,960 --> 01:07:58,519
like you did in that article.
1022
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:00,518
Robert seems like a wonderful man.
1023
01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:01,995
- He is, mom.
1024
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,515
Did they use the picture?
1025
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:04,631
You haven't seen it?
1026
01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:05,916
- Mom, I just woke up.
1027
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:06,957
It's a full page
1028
01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:09,396
with a picture of
Robert at the beach.
1029
01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:10,795
He is so handsome.
1030
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,151
He is so handsome.
1031
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:16,238
Wait, I have it right here.
1032
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:18,557
"People have to feel the
pain and anguish
1033
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:20,553
"like it was happening to them
1034
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:22,678
"SO when a person comes
down with AIDS
1035
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:24,752
"we are all taken a little sick.
1036
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:26,633
"Straight or gay, it
doesn't matter."
1037
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:29,678
And the middle part,
that's my favorite.
1038
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:31,872
Where you said, here it is, here.
1039
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:34,151
"In the beginning, I
thought being a buddy
1040
01:08:34,480 --> 01:08:36,471
"was a way for me to help Robert
1041
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,150
"and now I know that he helps
me to feel and grow
1042
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:41,310
"faith, even death."
1043
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:44,834
David, I am so proud of you.
1044
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,229
- Ma, do they print the
name of the center?
1045
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,557
Yes and a box at the
end with the address
1046
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:52,915
for people to send money.
1047
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,635
There's one part I didn't
completely understand.
1048
01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:58,473
- I don't remember what I said.
1049
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:00,996
You said, "God has
not sent AIDS down
1050
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:04,478
"to punish people gay and
straight who are sick
1051
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:07,189
"because if God did that, then
God wouldn't be God."
1052
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:09,311
What did you mean?
1053
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:11,391
- It's early, mom,
1054
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:14,075
I didn't think the interview
would print that.
1055
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:15,674
It something that Robert says.
1056
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:21,236
That a lot of people imagine that
God is just like they are.
1057
01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:23,039
You know, a big copy
of themselves.
1058
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:27,113
Well, Robert says that a cruel God
aint no God at all.
1059
01:09:28,480 --> 01:09:30,039
Well, philosophy aside,
1060
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:31,555
it's still a wonderful article
1061
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:33,518
and you should go out and
get copies for Steve
1062
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:35,194
and take one over to Robert.
1063
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:36,311
It'll make his day.
1064
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:37,795
- Okay, mom.
1065
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:39,110
Thanks for the call.
1066
01:09:39,480 --> 01:09:41,118
You and Steve are coming
for dinner next Sunday.
1067
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:42,151
You sister's gonna be here.
1068
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,830
- Right, Sunday at five,
we'll be there.
1069
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:46,076
Bye, bye.
1070
01:09:46,440 --> 01:09:47,316
Goodbye, dear.
1071
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,674
Dr.
Weinstein to ER.
1072
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,394
Dr. Weinstein to ER.
1073
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:20,551
EKG to ER.
1074
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:22,154
EKG to ER.
1075
01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:34,910
Dr. Dilman, please call
extension 451.
1076
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,669
Dr. Dilman, extension 451.
1077
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,274
Dr. Dilman, please call
extension 451.
1078
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:53,199
Dr. Dilman, 451.
1079
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:58,750
Mr. Bennett,
1080
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:01,873
'm sorry you had to
find out this way.
1081
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:07,874
Robert died early this
morning in his sleep.
1082
01:11:09,480 --> 01:11:11,312
About 4:30.
1083
01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:13,589
It didn't get on the computer yet
1084
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:15,274
and there's a new girl on
the front desk
1085
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:16,920
and she didn't recognize you.
1086
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,750
'I be out at the front
desk if you need me.
1087
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,077
Stay as long as you like.
1088
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:44,870
David?
1089
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:45,712
- Yeah, Steve.
1090
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:48,070
I know.
1091
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:49,959
The center just called.
1092
01:12:50,280 --> 01:12:51,190
- The center?
1093
01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:53,238
Well the
hospital called them.
1094
01:12:53,560 --> 01:12:54,550
They called here.
1095
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:57,594
Everyone's been just missing you.
1096
01:12:57,920 --> 01:12:59,274
Where are you?
1097
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:01,916
You okay?
1098
01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,596
- I'm near the park.
1099
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:10,676
I'm okay.
1100
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,914
No, I'm not okay.
1101
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:20,590
Come on home.
1102
01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:22,831
- [I be in later tonight.
1103
01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:25,954
David, you did
all you could.
1104
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:27,350
- I know, Steve.
1105
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:32,431
It just hurts.
1106
01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:38,431
I love him.
1107
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,310
I didn't get a chance
to say goodbye.
1108
01:13:48,520 --> 01:13:49,919
I miss him.
1109
01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:51,310
I know.
1110
01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:52,436
Come on home.
1111
01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:58,354
- I'll be in by seven
o'clock tonight, okay?
1112
01:13:58,680 --> 01:13:59,829
Okay, I'll see you then.
1113
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,156
And call the center.
1114
01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:02,515
They sounded pretty set on
you calling in.
1115
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:05,309
- Right.
1116
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:10,396
Bye.
1117
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:26,833
Lynn Alison speaking.
1118
01:14:27,160 --> 01:14:29,151
- Hi, Lynn, it's David.
1119
01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,193
David, they told me.
1120
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:33,153
The hospital called.
1121
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:34,919
What a terrible way to find out.
1122
01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:37,271
Come on over, we should talk.
1123
01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:40,911
- I'll be in by 10 o'clock
tomorrow morning, okay?
1124
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:44,079
Are you thinking of
dropping out of the program?
1125
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:46,357
- Lynn, don't ask me any
Questions right now
1126
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:50,719
about being a buddy
or the program.
1127
01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:54,436
'M just gonna have
to handle this.
1128
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:57,838
There's something that
I have to do.
78310
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