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1
00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:29,135
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
2
00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:32,577
and welcome to
Alfred Hitchcock Presents.
3
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:37,681
I should explain.
I came down with a cold.
4
00:00:37,752 --> 00:00:40,516
The broken leg was
a later development.
5
00:00:41,256 --> 00:00:44,885
These nurses can become
quite forceful at times.
6
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:50,060
The National Safety Council
has asked that I remind you
7
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that most accidents
occur in the home.
8
00:00:53,835 --> 00:00:57,430
Therefore, this might be
a very good place to avoid.
9
00:00:58,239 --> 00:01:04,075
If you must be there, now would be an
excellent time to check for those items
10
00:01:04,145 --> 00:01:08,582
that might be lying around or
waiting to produce accidents.
11
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:11,983
Roller skates at
the bottom of the stairs,
12
00:01:12,587 --> 00:01:15,886
poorly insulated wires
near the bathtub,
13
00:01:16,658 --> 00:01:19,024
ground glass
in the sugar bowl,
14
00:01:19,694 --> 00:01:21,855
arsenic in the coffee.
15
00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:24,990
Little things which,
if you don't find,
16
00:01:25,066 --> 00:01:28,194
you may regret
for the rest of your life.
17
00:01:28,269 --> 00:01:30,396
So much for accidents.
18
00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:33,930
Now we come to the intentional
part of our program.
19
00:01:52,795 --> 00:01:54,956
Yes. Hey, there, mister,
20
00:01:56,265 --> 00:01:58,290
you've got my place there.
21
00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:02,201
I come around here every day
at noon, 12:00 sharp.
22
00:02:02,271 --> 00:02:05,638
And I sit right there on that
log, my back to this piling.
23
00:02:06,843 --> 00:02:11,246
Yes. Matter of fact is,
I'm two minutes late now.
24
00:02:12,014 --> 00:02:13,504
Can you beat that?
25
00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:17,144
I'm 93, and I haven't been
more than two minutes late
26
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,780
on any appointment
I've ever had.
27
00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,649
Time is a science.
28
00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:26,817
And if you make good use of
it, it'll double your life.
29
00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:32,029
Yes, sir. The only reason I'm
late now, I had to find my pills.
30
00:02:32,201 --> 00:02:33,190
Oh, oh.
31
00:02:33,436 --> 00:02:35,961
Oh, yeah.
Yes, I got them right here.
32
00:02:39,108 --> 00:02:42,168
You ever take these?
No, I never have.
33
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,008
Greatest little
old pill in the world.
34
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,947
Something new.
They call it Think-Ease.
35
00:02:47,416 --> 00:02:49,043
Well, here goes.
36
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:55,015
Yes, sir, it's a great life
if you don't weaken.
37
00:02:56,559 --> 00:02:58,959
Better get your line in the water,
there's a big one right there.
38
00:02:59,028 --> 00:03:00,359
Huh, where?
Right there!
39
00:03:00,429 --> 00:03:02,761
I don't see it.
It's going under the pier.
40
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:03,856
Under the pier?
41
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,491
Now do you see him?
No.
42
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:06,967
You will.
43
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:32,222
Mr. Treadwell, please.
Mr. Bunce calling.
44
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,421
This is a recording.
45
00:03:35,498 --> 00:03:37,523
Recent scientific
discoveries prove
46
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,468
that speech is the most common
carrier of the common cold.
47
00:03:41,537 --> 00:03:43,732
Therefore, in the interest
of public health,
48
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:48,641
we in this office are doing
all we can to eliminate speech.
49
00:03:51,948 --> 00:03:54,678
Well, I do have
to say a little something.
50
00:03:57,086 --> 00:04:01,386
Turn to your right, please, and state
your business directly to the telecam,
51
00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:05,154
holding up any identification
you have simultaneously.
52
00:04:06,128 --> 00:04:09,461
State your business, please, to
the telecam. Time is pressing.
53
00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:12,865
Well... I'm J.J. Bunce.
I'm here to see Mr. Treadwell.
54
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,158
Uh...
55
00:04:14,303 --> 00:04:16,498
I do have a card
here somewhere.
56
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,902
I'm from the SEG.
57
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:25,841
State your business, please. You
have not stated your business clearly.
58
00:04:25,915 --> 00:04:29,009
I'm J.J. Bunce from the SEG.
Here to see Mr. Treadwell.
59
00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:30,916
And I do have a card.
60
00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:39,384
You have not
stated your business clearly.
61
00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:42,226
Look, will you just let me see
the guy? It's a personal matter.
62
00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:44,129
In fact, you might say
it's real intimate.
63
00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:49,293
You have
stated your business clearly.
64
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,705
Go through the double doors
to the first door on your left.
65
00:04:52,775 --> 00:04:54,902
It's about time.
66
00:04:55,745 --> 00:04:57,372
We're trying
not to give you a disease.
67
00:04:57,446 --> 00:04:59,539
Why should you give us one?
68
00:05:10,659 --> 00:05:12,854
Walk right in.
You are welcome.
69
00:05:17,199 --> 00:05:19,360
Mr. Treadwell.
Mr. Bunce.
70
00:05:19,435 --> 00:05:22,927
I'm sorry, I can't shake hands with
you, one of the rules of our firm.
71
00:05:23,005 --> 00:05:24,802
We've made a number of surveys
and we've found
72
00:05:24,874 --> 00:05:27,468
that whenever there is human
contact, there is contamination.
73
00:05:27,810 --> 00:05:30,779
Now, what is this
intimate matter?
74
00:05:31,647 --> 00:05:34,844
Bunce, Society for
Experimental Gerontology.
75
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:35,906
Oh?
76
00:05:36,018 --> 00:05:37,007
You've heard of us?
77
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,109
No.
78
00:05:40,589 --> 00:05:44,320
Mr. Treadwell, if you're having this
taped, I'd advise you to cut it off.
79
00:05:48,964 --> 00:05:50,727
Sit down, Mr. Bunce.
80
00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:57,765
I'd like to give you a rough
idea of the work we're doing.
81
00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:05,437
Society for Experimental
Gerontology.
82
00:06:05,514 --> 00:06:07,675
You're collecting money
for a hospital, Mr. Bunce?
83
00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:11,709
Please, Mr. Treadwell, don't
confuse gerontology with geriatrics.
84
00:06:11,821 --> 00:06:12,810
Oh?
85
00:06:13,022 --> 00:06:17,015
Both words have the same
Greek root geras, meaning old.
86
00:06:17,593 --> 00:06:21,188
Whereas geriatrics deals
with diseases of the age,
87
00:06:21,263 --> 00:06:25,199
gerontology deals with the social
problems arising out of age,
88
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,296
especially extreme age.
89
00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:31,669
And I may add, sir, that the
SEG is the most consecrated,
90
00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:34,709
the most dedicated
organization that I know of.
91
00:06:34,777 --> 00:06:37,041
You seem to be something of
a crusader, Mr. Bunce.
92
00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,779
Sir, our outfit is the only one
that's facing up to the situation,
93
00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:43,148
the most tragic situation
facing our modern society!
94
00:06:43,619 --> 00:06:46,713
Well, if you let me speak to my secretary,
I'll have her make you out a check.
95
00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:49,349
We're not after money,
Mr. Treadwell.
96
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,357
No?
97
00:06:51,427 --> 00:06:53,622
Our outfit believes
in helping you first.
98
00:06:53,696 --> 00:06:55,027
Helping me?
99
00:06:55,097 --> 00:06:59,033
Then if you agree that you have
been helped, then you pay the fee.
100
00:06:59,101 --> 00:07:01,968
Mr. Bunce, I'm in my 50s.
101
00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:05,837
The way people are living today, I
really don't see how you can help me.
102
00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:09,173
Mr. Treadwell, I have been studying
your case for several months,
103
00:07:09,245 --> 00:07:11,713
and believe you me
you are a serious case.
104
00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:15,773
I've never been a serious case
of anything in my life, Mr. Bunce.
105
00:07:20,122 --> 00:07:21,419
John Treadwell,
college graduate,
106
00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:23,185
lives in the Elysian Fields,
New Jersey.
107
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:26,422
Likes sailing, owns own home, nine
years of mortgage payments due.
108
00:07:26,495 --> 00:07:28,827
Refrigerator paid for.
Pool's not paid for.
109
00:07:28,898 --> 00:07:31,799
Mother-in-law's face-lifting not yet
paid for... Where did you get this?
110
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:34,495
Late model car, 18 monthly
payments yet to be made.
111
00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,868
Children's education
not yet paid for.
112
00:07:36,939 --> 00:07:39,601
Otherwise, happily married
for 27 years.
113
00:07:39,675 --> 00:07:42,439
Two teenage children, one
older son and a daughter-in-law.
114
00:07:42,511 --> 00:07:44,911
Any errors, Mr. Treadwell? Mr.
Bunce, I have a great deal to do.
115
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:47,915
You missed the last
paragraph, Mr. Treadwell.
116
00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:52,818
It deals with your mother-in-law,
aged 82. What about her?
117
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:56,850
She is your problem,
Mr. Treadwell.
118
00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:59,258
When your son married
and moved out, she moved in.
119
00:07:59,328 --> 00:08:01,262
She lives with you
day and night.
120
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:03,321
And she's driving you mad!
121
00:08:07,469 --> 00:08:08,902
Mr. Bunce...
122
00:08:10,806 --> 00:08:15,368
Mr. Treadwell, according to the latest
gerontological statistical tables,
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00:08:15,444 --> 00:08:18,709
your mother-in-law
should live, barring accident,
124
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:24,981
another 32 years, nine months
and six days.
125
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:28,617
32 years, nine months
and six days?
126
00:08:28,924 --> 00:08:31,154
I beg your pardon, seven days.
127
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:34,458
That is, of course,
barring accident.
128
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:36,086
What do you mean?
129
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:39,466
Well, an old lady might
climb up a stepladder,
130
00:08:39,535 --> 00:08:43,938
she might slip in the bathtub,
tumble off a pier.
131
00:08:46,842 --> 00:08:49,504
I always say, Mr. Treadwell, that
recognizing that we have a problem
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00:08:49,578 --> 00:08:51,239
is the first step
towards solution.
133
00:08:52,147 --> 00:08:54,980
Now, when you want action,
just let me know.
134
00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,608
Mr. Bunce.
135
00:08:56,685 --> 00:08:59,210
I will not pretend I'm in love
with my mother-in-law,
136
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,256
but if you are suggesting
that I have her done away with,
137
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:03,791
that is the most fiendish
thing I've ever heard of.
138
00:09:03,926 --> 00:09:07,225
I am a man of principle,
a religious man!
139
00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:11,760
I'm sorry you got personal, Mr.
Treadwell. I was hoping to keep this...
140
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:13,062
Get out.
141
00:09:16,772 --> 00:09:19,366
My card's on your desk,
Mr. Treadwell.
142
00:09:22,544 --> 00:09:24,774
I'll be expecting your call.
143
00:09:35,858 --> 00:09:37,450
We thank Thee
for our many privileges.
144
00:09:37,526 --> 00:09:39,653
We thank Thee for the
comfort of our home...
145
00:09:47,903 --> 00:09:51,805
For the comfort of our home. We thank
Thee for the nourishment of our food.
146
00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:54,104
We thank Thee for one another.
147
00:09:58,747 --> 00:10:02,581
Lord, grant us patience in times
of tribulation, grant us strength...
148
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:11,521
Yes, Mother? Who the heck
turned off my intercom?
149
00:10:12,328 --> 00:10:14,853
We turned it off, Mother,
because we were just saying grace.
150
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:16,995
My TVset's busted.
151
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:19,933
I want you to come up here
and fix it. Now!
152
00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:24,735
Mother, he can't come now, we're
right in the middle of grace.
153
00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:28,072
Why did he have to buy me
such a cheap set then?
154
00:10:28,744 --> 00:10:31,542
I will come, Mother, just as
soon as we have finished grace.
155
00:10:31,613 --> 00:10:34,309
Hurry up, or I'll miss
the Roller Derby.
156
00:10:39,621 --> 00:10:41,589
Our Father, who
art in space...
157
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:49,390
If you'll excuse me, dear? I think
I'd better fix her television set.
158
00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:55,067
Never mind. I'll serve.
159
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,071
You know what I'd do? I'd get rid
of her! I'd just get rid of her!
160
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:03,040
Darling.
We all get old sometime.
161
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:28,669
Children, it's getting late,
you should get to bed.
162
00:11:28,738 --> 00:11:31,263
I got to finish this,
it's my project.
163
00:11:31,341 --> 00:11:32,808
Boy, people are stupid.
164
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:34,434
Stupider than you?
165
00:11:34,844 --> 00:11:37,813
Look at this crate. 20 years ago
they thought it was the greatest.
166
00:11:37,881 --> 00:11:39,542
I'm trying to write.
167
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,084
Can you imagine taking four and
a half hours across the country?
168
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:43,744
How slow can you get?
169
00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:46,012
I said I'm trying to write.
170
00:11:46,089 --> 00:11:47,522
Oh, shut up.
171
00:11:53,663 --> 00:11:58,327
Darling, would you mind
very much not humming?
172
00:11:58,401 --> 00:12:00,460
Yes, of course, I'm sorry.
173
00:12:01,538 --> 00:12:03,733
What's that you're looking at?
174
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:08,403
It's a graph of the population
growth according to increased age.
175
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:11,739
It's rather astounding.
176
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,978
Darling, is anything
the matter? You seem so sad.
177
00:12:16,086 --> 00:12:17,644
Just thinking.
178
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:24,615
If you'll excuse me, dear,
I believe I'll turn in.
179
00:12:24,694 --> 00:12:28,255
Daddy, if you're worried about something,
why don't you take a Think-Ease?
180
00:12:28,798 --> 00:12:31,266
I don't need to think ease,
dear, I need to think hard.
181
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,131
And would you mind
turning off that music?
182
00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:34,636
But Daddy, it's soothing.
183
00:12:34,704 --> 00:12:35,898
Yeah, Dad, don't you know
that studies prove...
184
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,166
I said turn it off!
185
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,071
But, John!
186
00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:41,406
The world needs silence.
187
00:12:41,478 --> 00:12:44,208
Silence, like the
outside of space.
188
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:48,216
Just imagine how quiet it must
be beyond the last star, hmm?
189
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:53,219
All right, I say let us live
in that silence, and no music.
190
00:12:53,289 --> 00:12:56,122
And start thinking about
the meaning of life.
191
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,853
Yes, and the meaning
of death, too.
192
00:12:57,927 --> 00:13:00,088
Because death has a meaning.
193
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,825
And believe you me,
it has a function.
194
00:13:09,973 --> 00:13:11,440
Boy, did he goof off.
195
00:13:11,508 --> 00:13:13,203
Maybe he's fallen in love,
or something.
196
00:13:13,276 --> 00:13:14,937
Just be quiet, will you?
197
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:18,777
Well, remember three years ago when
he went off skiing with his secretary?
198
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,338
He got mad then, too.
199
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,093
Now, why the heck
did you do that?
200
00:13:39,169 --> 00:13:41,399
It's too loud, Mother.
201
00:13:41,471 --> 00:13:44,099
You won't be able to get away
with this for very long, son.
202
00:13:44,174 --> 00:13:47,575
Just as soon as my leg's mended,
I'm gonna be up and about.
203
00:13:47,644 --> 00:13:49,077
Mother...
204
00:13:49,145 --> 00:13:52,080
My, but you're
getting a paunch.
205
00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:58,346
I've been sitting in this chair for
eight weeks and I look better than you do.
206
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,321
Mother, the noise is not
good for you.
207
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,682
Don't you worry.
208
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:06,525
I'm going to live to be well
over 100, no thanks to you.
209
00:14:07,297 --> 00:14:11,666
Fine. But could you just manage
to be a little more quiet about it?
210
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,599
Who wants to be quiet?
211
00:14:14,304 --> 00:14:17,671
You'll be quiet a long time
in your grave.
212
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,835
Oh, you young people,
you don't know how to live.
213
00:14:21,911 --> 00:14:25,745
You're too solemn.
You don't enjoy life.
214
00:14:27,417 --> 00:14:30,477
Did you do your setting-up
exercises this morning?
215
00:14:30,553 --> 00:14:31,850
No, I did not.
216
00:14:33,056 --> 00:14:35,286
You look like
a rumpled pillow!
217
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,387
You know, things are not the
same as when I was a girl.
218
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,453
Thank goodness they're not.
219
00:14:41,531 --> 00:14:45,934
Change, change, that's the great
thing, that's the secret of life.
220
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:51,600
Used to be we lived
to be 75 or 80.
221
00:14:51,674 --> 00:14:57,112
Now the life span's gone up
to 125 and no end in sight.
222
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,242
So you just as well
get used to me
223
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,980
and stop
turning off my intercom!
224
00:15:26,976 --> 00:15:29,444
Good morning, Mr. Treadwell,
we hope your work day will be...
225
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,275
Oh, shut up!
226
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,212
Come in, Mr. Bunce.
227
00:15:45,094 --> 00:15:47,722
Well, Mr. Treadwell,
are you with us?
228
00:15:47,797 --> 00:15:50,493
And even if you aren't with us,
I trust you won't turn against us.
229
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:53,331
You know the attorney general
himself is over 80 years old.
230
00:15:54,137 --> 00:15:55,764
One report about us
and we're liable to end up
231
00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:56,998
in the Atomic Energy Chamber.
232
00:15:57,073 --> 00:15:58,370
Don't worry.
233
00:16:01,144 --> 00:16:04,636
Dear Mr. Treadwell, you still
seem to have some doubts.
234
00:16:05,582 --> 00:16:09,678
My dear sir, the tragic situation
is that by the miracles of science
235
00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:13,017
by sheer number, the old have come
into power. They have the votes.
236
00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:17,150
Mr. Bunce, you don't have to
convince me on theoretical grounds.
237
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,593
Then on what grounds? The point is,
I detest my mother-in-law so much,
238
00:16:20,663 --> 00:16:23,097
I have to make sure that I'm joining
your movement out of idealism,
239
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,566
and not through
personal pleasure.
240
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,260
Yes, I see what you mean.
241
00:16:33,109 --> 00:16:34,701
And have you decided?
242
00:16:34,777 --> 00:16:36,506
How would you do it?
243
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,171
You'll have to
leave that up to me.
244
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,078
Probably some
household accident.
245
00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:41,275
What if you bungle it?
246
00:16:41,351 --> 00:16:43,819
How could I bungle it? I know
her well, I know her habits.
247
00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:45,410
You know her?
248
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:48,116
How do you think I got all that
information about you, Mr. Treadwell?
249
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:52,591
I meet her in the park every
Sunday after you leave her there.
250
00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:55,927
No, I couldn't possibly tell you how
I'm going to do it, Mr. Treadwell.
251
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:58,467
You might feel
some sense of guilt.
252
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:11,068
Could you at least tell me
when it's going to happen?
253
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:15,441
How about Sunday morning?
254
00:17:16,486 --> 00:17:18,716
You all go to church,
255
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:22,622
and she goes to the park
because she hates the preacher.
256
00:17:23,059 --> 00:17:26,517
Yes, I rather think Sunday
morning might be excellent.
257
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,095
That is,
if I have your consent?
258
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,939
It's a deal.
259
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,636
Speaking of deals, Mr.
Treadwell. What's this?
260
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,408
In signing a pledge to our
organization, Mr. Treadwell,
261
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,509
you will be performing one of the
most praiseworthy acts of your life.
262
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:53,612
"I hereby promise
to pay you $2,000."
263
00:17:53,690 --> 00:17:55,521
You never said anything
about money like this.
264
00:17:56,225 --> 00:17:58,455
The occasion has never arisen
before, Mr. Treadwell.
265
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:00,359
But may I point out
266
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:04,196
that a donation to a charitable
organization such as ours...
267
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,259
Is, of course, tax deductable.
268
00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,346
Where's Daddy? He's going
to be late for church.
269
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:26,149
I suppose he's still dressing.
270
00:18:26,222 --> 00:18:27,280
No, he went out.
271
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:28,412
Oh?
272
00:18:28,558 --> 00:18:31,083
Yeah, he pushed Grandma
to the park.
273
00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:36,723
My, what a beautiful morning.
274
00:18:36,799 --> 00:18:40,667
Darling, you aren't even dressed.
You'll be late for church.
275
00:18:40,737 --> 00:18:42,466
I'm not going.
276
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,301
You're not going?
277
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:48,241
Why, John, you haven't
missed church in 20 years.
278
00:18:48,311 --> 00:18:49,972
I'm not going.
279
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,946
Do you mind if I ask why?
280
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:53,914
I'm going fishing.
You're what?
281
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,177
Don't look so alarmed.
282
00:18:56,252 --> 00:18:58,117
But, Daddy, you'll
get arrested.
283
00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:01,679
Don't you know they've passed
a new law, no fishing on Sunday?
284
00:19:01,758 --> 00:19:02,884
Who passed it?
285
00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:06,395
Just last week, the League for
Elderly Democracy passed it.
286
00:19:06,462 --> 00:19:08,623
That's right, and now
everyone has to go to church.
287
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:10,188
But Grandma doesn't
go to church.
288
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:12,860
That's because she has
a health certificate!
289
00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:16,598
If you're old enough you can get a health
certificate and you don't have to go.
290
00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:19,436
That's why there is no one
on the streets Sunday morning.
291
00:19:19,509 --> 00:19:20,840
Ah-hah!
292
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,712
I hadn't noticed that.
293
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:26,772
Well, of course not,
you've always been in church.
294
00:19:28,451 --> 00:19:31,887
Doesn't matter. It's decided,
I'm going fishing.
295
00:19:31,988 --> 00:19:33,319
Really, Daddy?
296
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,788
Don't all look so alarmed!
297
00:19:34,857 --> 00:19:38,020
You don't have to call a
lawyer and have me committed.
298
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,996
I'm going to eat a big stack
of fresh, fluffy pancakes
299
00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:45,293
drowned in golden
sparkling syrup.
300
00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:49,931
And then, I'm going fishing!
301
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:54,402
Well, children,
we'll go to church.
302
00:20:04,821 --> 00:20:07,221
It is called
the Blessington Method.
303
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,054
After our founder,
Mr. Ralph Blessington.
304
00:20:10,827 --> 00:20:13,523
He saw the problem arising
way back in the '60s.
305
00:20:13,596 --> 00:20:18,056
Young man, I don't know what you're
talking about, but I like your voice.
306
00:20:18,935 --> 00:20:21,199
Of course, all forms of life
307
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:24,762
grow, flower, fail and fall.
308
00:20:24,841 --> 00:20:27,571
It's a soothing voice.
309
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,873
Death is the compost of life.
310
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:34,080
Now what is more wonderful
for this spring's flowers
311
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,675
than last year's
rotten leaves?
312
00:20:36,752 --> 00:20:40,210
Death is built right into the
universe for the enrichment of life.
313
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:41,850
What do you suppose
would happen
314
00:20:41,924 --> 00:20:45,519
if all the fish in the ocean
suddenly had the power not to die?
315
00:20:45,595 --> 00:20:48,393
Why, in two weeks time the ocean
would be so choked with fish
316
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:52,161
there wouldn't be enough water
left, and all fish would die.
317
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:56,931
So, when man in his infinite
mischief upsets the order of things,
318
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,607
infinite mischief
is bound to result.
319
00:20:59,876 --> 00:21:03,573
Young man, I don't quite know
what you're saying,
320
00:21:03,646 --> 00:21:05,204
but I know I don't like it.
321
00:21:05,281 --> 00:21:06,942
Turn me around!
322
00:21:32,942 --> 00:21:34,432
Mr. Treadwell.
323
00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:39,975
It's done, death by
accidental submersion.
324
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:42,650
Oh, dear.
325
00:21:44,487 --> 00:21:46,955
Don't feel too badly,
Mr. Treadwell.
326
00:21:47,023 --> 00:21:50,891
It's in the past. Forget about it,
you must think about the future.
327
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,053
Think about your children.
328
00:21:53,129 --> 00:21:57,657
Now you can have the pleasure of watching
them grow, flower into full bloom.
329
00:21:58,868 --> 00:22:01,632
Think about your daughter.
Someday she'll marry.
330
00:22:03,372 --> 00:22:04,805
Yes.
331
00:22:04,874 --> 00:22:07,138
Now can't you picture
in your mind's eye
332
00:22:07,209 --> 00:22:10,372
that handsome, strong,
young son-in-law?
333
00:22:10,446 --> 00:22:14,473
Can't you just feel the warmth
of his handclasp as he greets you?
334
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:16,142
Wait a minute.
335
00:22:16,986 --> 00:22:20,786
Are you trying to tell me that
someday somebody from your group
336
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:25,193
will come
and give my children ideas?
337
00:22:27,196 --> 00:22:29,289
Honestly, Mr. Treadwell,
338
00:22:29,365 --> 00:22:33,233
can you imagine those
affectionate and devoted youngsters
339
00:22:33,302 --> 00:22:36,965
ever possibly doing you the
slightest harm, the slightest harm?
340
00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:42,366
No. I guess not.
341
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:46,414
Splendid. Now you hold
onto that thought.
342
00:22:46,482 --> 00:22:49,474
Keep it close to you
at all times. Cherish it.
343
00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:53,316
It will be a great solace
to you and a comfort...
344
00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:55,852
To the very end.
345
00:23:13,244 --> 00:23:17,146
The doctor told me I could
take the cast off anytime.
346
00:23:17,815 --> 00:23:21,911
But I find I receive much
better treatment with it on.
347
00:23:23,021 --> 00:23:26,184
As for Mr. Bunce
and Mr. Treadwell,
348
00:23:26,257 --> 00:23:30,921
even their advanced society
frowned on their activities.
349
00:23:31,829 --> 00:23:35,731
By then, mothers-in-law
were most numerous
350
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,735
and even more powerful
than they are today.
351
00:23:39,304 --> 00:23:41,704
It's something
to look forward to,
352
00:23:42,206 --> 00:23:44,504
provided you're
a mother-in-law.
353
00:23:47,545 --> 00:23:52,141
Now until next time,
good night.
28082
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