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1
00:00:25,873 --> 00:00:28,467
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
2
00:00:28,543 --> 00:00:32,309
I am sending this beautiful
plant to a dear friend.
3
00:00:32,914 --> 00:00:35,382
I believe
it's feeding time.
4
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,059
These carnivorous plants
get quite hungry.
5
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:53,362
This one has been quite useful
around here as a garbage disposal.
6
00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:55,962
I shall hate
to part with it.
7
00:00:56,037 --> 00:00:58,699
But I know my friend
will love it.
8
00:00:58,773 --> 00:01:01,435
And I am sure,
it will love him too.
9
00:01:19,094 --> 00:01:21,562
Shut your stupid beak.
10
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:23,894
A dog gets housebroke at three months.
11
00:01:23,966 --> 00:01:26,867
You ought to be ashamed of
yourself. Where's your pride?
12
00:01:26,935 --> 00:01:28,527
You're worse
than a pelican.
13
00:01:28,937 --> 00:01:32,202
Hermie! Hermie!
14
00:01:33,008 --> 00:01:36,205
Yeah? Did you feed Romeo his banana?
15
00:01:36,745 --> 00:01:38,337
I'm gettin' to it.
16
00:01:38,414 --> 00:01:39,881
Don't keep him
waiting too long.
17
00:01:39,948 --> 00:01:41,711
The poor thing
must be ravenous!
18
00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:47,788
How'll you have it,
stupid? Sliced?
19
00:01:47,856 --> 00:01:49,653
Slice it for him,
Hermie!
20
00:01:52,394 --> 00:01:55,420
Hermie, did you hear
what I said? I heard you!
21
00:01:56,465 --> 00:01:59,229
You marry a woman the mental
age of 10 and you wind up
22
00:01:59,301 --> 00:02:02,600
bedroom steward to
a blasted Noah's Ark.
23
00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:10,970
You are the cutest little
chameleon I ever did see.
24
00:02:13,148 --> 00:02:14,911
What's the matter, precious?
25
00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:17,076
Upset because you can't
turn polka dotted?
26
00:02:19,488 --> 00:02:21,319
Hermie,
that's the mailman!
27
00:02:28,297 --> 00:02:30,162
Hope you choke on it.
28
00:02:35,304 --> 00:02:36,532
Slob.
29
00:02:41,143 --> 00:02:44,977
I never in my life saw a fish
stand on its tail like that one.
30
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:46,847
Bang, he hit!
31
00:02:48,150 --> 00:02:51,381
Then I set the hook,
swish, and up he went,
32
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:55,285
right on his tail, six, eight
foot, just like a rocket.
33
00:02:55,357 --> 00:02:57,188
Like to pull me
out of the boat.
34
00:02:57,259 --> 00:02:58,920
Hi, henpeck.
How's the menagerie?
35
00:02:58,994 --> 00:03:00,655
You shut up about Hermie, George.
36
00:03:00,796 --> 00:03:01,854
He's the best
little zookeeper
37
00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:03,921
on Bougainvillea Street.
Ain't you, Hermie?
38
00:03:03,999 --> 00:03:05,990
You both through?
You can give me the mail.
39
00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,194
All right.
All right.
40
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:12,497
Slob!
41
00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:20,008
Hermie, I think
they made up.
42
00:03:20,082 --> 00:03:21,640
Well, good for them.
43
00:03:21,717 --> 00:03:23,844
Wasn't a serious
quarrel after all.
44
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:25,713
She probably
got to nagging him.
45
00:03:25,787 --> 00:03:29,245
A seahorse can't take that
day in and day out, you know.
46
00:03:29,324 --> 00:03:32,259
Gets up every morning,
looks at the same old face.
47
00:03:32,327 --> 00:03:35,558
Sits around all day, listens
to a lot of yakety-yak.
48
00:03:36,431 --> 00:03:37,557
How do you know?
49
00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,123
I read a book once.
50
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,535
Here, you want
to endorse this,
51
00:03:41,603 --> 00:03:44,094
I'll take it over to the
bank before it closes.
52
00:03:44,172 --> 00:03:47,164
Do you know what I think
about the seahorses, Hermie?
53
00:03:47,242 --> 00:03:49,710
What?
I think it was the food.
54
00:03:49,778 --> 00:03:51,507
He don't like
her cooking?
55
00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:54,174
Oh, be serious,
will you?
56
00:03:54,249 --> 00:03:56,114
I think he was
under-nourished.
57
00:03:56,518 --> 00:04:00,284
It's the vitamin D in that new
baby brine shrimp you got last week.
58
00:04:00,355 --> 00:04:02,448
Come on, sweetheart.
Get some more today.
59
00:04:02,524 --> 00:04:04,583
Okay.
Oh, be sure, now.
60
00:04:07,429 --> 00:04:08,828
Ah, let's see.
61
00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:11,459
$200 for deposit.
62
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:13,831
$50 for grocery money.
63
00:04:13,902 --> 00:04:16,928
And $10 for
your allowance.
64
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:18,199
Ten?
65
00:04:18,273 --> 00:04:21,606
Now, Hermie, we have been through all
that before, I am not made of money.
66
00:04:21,677 --> 00:04:24,077
Okay. And remember the brine shrimp.
67
00:04:24,146 --> 00:04:26,114
Yeah.
The vitamin D.
68
00:04:27,482 --> 00:04:29,382
And Hermie?
Yeah?
69
00:04:29,918 --> 00:04:31,647
One beer!
70
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,426
Well, how long have you and
Myra been married, Hermie?
71
00:04:40,495 --> 00:04:42,122
Fifteen years.
72
00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:44,563
Fifteen years.
Oh, I envy you.
73
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,391
Why?
Well, I...
74
00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:51,232
A home ain't a home
without a woman in it.
75
00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:55,573
You got yourself a home,
Hermie. A real home.
76
00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:57,874
You got your
roots down deep.
77
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,646
You got your
own little family.
78
00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:04,079
I ain't had that for,
let me see now...
79
00:05:05,387 --> 00:05:07,184
Nine long years.
80
00:05:08,190 --> 00:05:11,626
Yeah, she's been gone
nine years this month.
81
00:05:14,796 --> 00:05:16,423
How'd you manage that?
82
00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:18,262
Huh?
83
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:21,533
Uh, what
took her off?
84
00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:23,635
Pneumonia.
85
00:05:23,705 --> 00:05:25,036
Oh.
86
00:05:31,747 --> 00:05:34,079
How do you get pneumonia
in Florida, George?
87
00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:36,208
Kansas City.
Oh!
88
00:05:37,886 --> 00:05:40,218
Myra wouldn't move
to Kansas City.
89
00:05:40,288 --> 00:05:42,313
Who wants to move
to Kansas City?
90
00:05:42,391 --> 00:05:45,258
I mean, in case
anyone was to ask her,
91
00:05:45,327 --> 00:05:46,954
"Would you move
to Kansas City?"
92
00:05:47,029 --> 00:05:49,429
It's an 11-to-one shot
she'd say no.
93
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,022
Nothing wrong
with Kansas City.
94
00:05:51,099 --> 00:05:54,068
Oh, I never said there was.
My wife loved it.
95
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:57,196
She said there was no place
in the world like Kansas City.
96
00:05:58,373 --> 00:05:59,965
She was a good woman,
Hermie.
97
00:06:00,642 --> 00:06:03,133
Life ain't been the same
since she took off.
98
00:06:03,211 --> 00:06:05,645
I suppose not.
99
00:06:06,314 --> 00:06:07,713
Well, she...
100
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,309
She left me
pretty well fixed.
101
00:06:10,652 --> 00:06:12,381
I don't want for nothing.
102
00:06:13,088 --> 00:06:15,386
But life just
ain't the same.
103
00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:21,422
I wandered around for more than
two years, trying to forget.
104
00:06:22,064 --> 00:06:24,362
Hawaii, Acapulco,
105
00:06:24,966 --> 00:06:27,935
Las Vegas, Monte Carlo.
106
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:34,070
But life just ain't the same
without a woman in the house.
107
00:06:36,011 --> 00:06:37,501
Everything so...
108
00:06:38,246 --> 00:06:40,942
So quiet.
I suppose so.
109
00:06:41,016 --> 00:06:43,007
Have a beer?
Sure.
110
00:06:45,921 --> 00:06:50,517
Since she's been gone, my life
is nothing but beer and fishing.
111
00:06:53,595 --> 00:06:55,290
Hermie!
112
00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:03,136
I got to get her some brine
shrimp, for the seahorses.
113
00:07:04,706 --> 00:07:05,832
So long, George.
114
00:07:22,924 --> 00:07:26,018
Come on, baby doll. Come
on out and play with mama.
115
00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:31,224
Whatever is wrong
with Franklin?
116
00:07:31,299 --> 00:07:33,893
Got a load of bad
sunflower seed, I guess.
117
00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:36,065
Here's the shrimp
with vitamin D.
118
00:07:36,138 --> 00:07:38,106
Put it down. I'll get to it in a minute.
119
00:07:38,607 --> 00:07:40,370
The article says
they're affectionate,
120
00:07:40,442 --> 00:07:42,137
he seems kind of
self-centered to me.
121
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:43,302
What'd I tell you?
122
00:07:43,378 --> 00:07:45,938
For heaven's sake, Hermie,
don't say I told you so.
123
00:07:46,014 --> 00:07:47,675
Well, I did, didn't I?
124
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,240
Well, look what the
article says, on the couch.
125
00:07:55,023 --> 00:07:56,581
Page 16.
126
00:07:57,058 --> 00:07:59,356
It says turtles make
very intelligent,
127
00:07:59,427 --> 00:08:02,123
interesting and
affectionate pets.
128
00:08:11,706 --> 00:08:13,537
You see it, Hermie?
129
00:08:13,608 --> 00:08:15,200
Uh...
130
00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:18,769
Yeah.
131
00:08:20,315 --> 00:08:22,783
Baby doll,
you still in there?
132
00:08:24,219 --> 00:08:25,686
Sure he ain't dead?
133
00:08:26,154 --> 00:08:30,318
Don't be silly. But I
don't think he feels well.
134
00:08:30,392 --> 00:08:33,327
Baby, come out.
135
00:08:34,162 --> 00:08:35,561
Maybe he's got hives.
136
00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:37,754
He's coldblooded.
137
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:41,591
When they're coldblooded, I guess
they don't ever get real fond of you.
138
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:44,628
Oh, I don't know.
139
00:08:46,274 --> 00:08:50,335
After all,
a snake is coldblooded.
140
00:08:50,979 --> 00:08:52,640
What does that prove?
141
00:08:53,148 --> 00:08:56,413
Well, a snake is the most
affectionate pet in the world.
142
00:08:57,018 --> 00:08:58,315
Everybody knows that.
143
00:08:59,054 --> 00:09:02,353
Look at that. He's been
in there for 15 minutes.
144
00:09:03,391 --> 00:09:04,915
You know,
I've been thinking.
145
00:09:06,094 --> 00:09:07,721
You know what
you ought to do, honey?
146
00:09:07,796 --> 00:09:09,320
You ought to get
yourself a snake.
147
00:09:10,031 --> 00:09:11,293
Why?
148
00:09:11,366 --> 00:09:14,199
Well, a snake wouldn't pull
that kind of stunt on you.
149
00:09:14,836 --> 00:09:16,827
How could a snake go inside?
150
00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:22,374
Where would it go? And if it
could, it wouldn't want to.
151
00:09:25,547 --> 00:09:28,573
You get the right snake,
you got yourself a real pal.
152
00:09:29,651 --> 00:09:31,414
You think so?
Sure.
153
00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:36,019
Well, people say they can't
stand the sight of snakes.
154
00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:38,150
Oh, that's a lot
of prejudice.
155
00:09:38,827 --> 00:09:41,227
Besides, everyone
don't think that way.
156
00:09:42,597 --> 00:09:44,462
People that know
snakes in person
157
00:09:44,799 --> 00:09:46,323
don't think
that way at all.
158
00:09:49,437 --> 00:09:52,099
Remember that act in Tampa
you wouldn't go to see?
159
00:09:52,173 --> 00:09:54,073
The snake dance
striptease?
160
00:09:54,142 --> 00:09:57,976
Well, that dame had 'em
twining all around her.
161
00:09:58,813 --> 00:10:00,508
There was a picture of it on the billboard.
162
00:10:00,582 --> 00:10:01,776
You remember that.
163
00:10:02,183 --> 00:10:03,980
What do they eat?
An egg.
164
00:10:04,319 --> 00:10:06,082
All you do is whistle
when it's dinner time
165
00:10:06,154 --> 00:10:08,349
and they just sit
right up and beg.
166
00:10:08,423 --> 00:10:10,118
What you want is
a nice little snake.
167
00:10:10,659 --> 00:10:12,752
I could carry it
around with me.
168
00:10:13,428 --> 00:10:14,986
Down the front
of your dress.
169
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,833
Well, that's where
they carry 'em.
170
00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:22,062
Right where it could
peek out at people.
171
00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:24,264
Be cute as the devil.
172
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:27,841
Well, I don't like snakes.
173
00:10:29,311 --> 00:10:31,074
Okay, okay,
don't have one then.
174
00:10:31,279 --> 00:10:32,803
No snakes,
snakes out.
175
00:10:33,248 --> 00:10:36,240
I'm not trying to sell you
a bill of goods, so forget it.
176
00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:38,583
Let him kill it.
177
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,382
Skin it.
178
00:10:41,389 --> 00:10:42,754
Make a pair of shoes
for a midget.
179
00:10:48,196 --> 00:10:49,959
You mean
you know a snake?
180
00:10:50,031 --> 00:10:53,694
Well, this pet shop fella in Miami
is stuck with this cute little snake.
181
00:10:54,069 --> 00:10:56,094
And he don't know
what to do with it.
182
00:10:56,538 --> 00:10:58,597
Does he have to kill him?
Yup.
183
00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:02,008
You know what the price
of eggs has gone up to.
184
00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,344
Would he give him away
to a real good home?
185
00:11:05,413 --> 00:11:08,177
Nope. The snake skin
is worth money.
186
00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:09,876
This guy's got to eat.
187
00:11:10,652 --> 00:11:13,678
All the same, he can't
hardly face up to killing him.
188
00:11:13,755 --> 00:11:15,382
It's so darn loyal.
189
00:11:16,891 --> 00:11:21,692
He said this snake's got
eyes like a cocker spaniel.
190
00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:24,589
What if I went to
the pet shop to see him.
191
00:11:24,699 --> 00:11:28,362
Oh no, no! That's where you
went wrong with the turtle.
192
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:32,531
He still connects you with the
pet shop where he was so miserable.
193
00:11:32,607 --> 00:11:34,939
Look at him,
he's all withdrawn.
194
00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:38,535
Listen, if I was a snake,
I'd like to be put in a box,
195
00:11:38,613 --> 00:11:40,444
and not know
where I was going.
196
00:11:40,515 --> 00:11:44,417
And find myself being unwrapped
by someone just like you, Myra.
197
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:47,978
In a nice, quiet room,
with the door shut.
198
00:11:48,757 --> 00:11:50,315
You would?
Yeah.
199
00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:52,886
Really?
Yeah!
200
00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:56,521
You know something, Myra?
201
00:11:57,599 --> 00:12:00,966
He told me, it takes all
day for a snake to die.
202
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:36,067
Hey, kid. Is this place called Melodie?
203
00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:38,966
Yeah. You want to make a nickel?
204
00:12:39,674 --> 00:12:42,768
Show me where this fellow
hangs out, this snakeologist.
205
00:12:44,145 --> 00:12:45,373
Herpetologist.
206
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,179
Yeah, Herpet...
Uh, yeah.
207
00:12:48,249 --> 00:12:50,308
Snakes, lizards,
gators, turtles, mice.
208
00:12:50,385 --> 00:12:52,819
I'm lookin' for the
fellow that runs this ad.
209
00:12:53,721 --> 00:12:55,154
Eidelpfeiffer.
210
00:12:55,623 --> 00:12:58,285
Herpetologist. That's me. You?
211
00:12:59,327 --> 00:13:01,352
Hansel Eidelpfeiffer.
212
00:13:02,163 --> 00:13:07,294
Naturalists, pet shops, medical
schools, and museums supplied.
213
00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:10,763
Live reptiles
for scientific purposes.
214
00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:13,264
And rare
collectors' items.
215
00:13:13,741 --> 00:13:16,073
What are you doin' there? Frogs.
216
00:13:17,178 --> 00:13:19,442
For my aquatic species.
Oh.
217
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,547
You want to buy something?
218
00:13:23,618 --> 00:13:26,746
Well, I tell you, Hansel. I'm a professor.
219
00:13:26,821 --> 00:13:30,518
I'm, uh, involved in
some crucial research
220
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,958
on the, uh,
Cape Canaveral thing.
221
00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:35,188
Professor, huh?
222
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:40,162
Now, what we want is a tiptop,
high powered, poisonous snake.
223
00:13:40,568 --> 00:13:41,933
A real stinger.
Hmm.
224
00:13:42,504 --> 00:13:44,938
Well, let's see.
Crotalus?
225
00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:46,940
Crotalus adamanteus?
Horridus?
226
00:13:47,342 --> 00:13:49,742
Or what about Ancistrodon?
227
00:13:50,145 --> 00:13:51,737
No, no. Nothing imported.
228
00:13:51,813 --> 00:13:54,407
Just a decent,
straightforward American snake
229
00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:56,609
like you'd come on
in your own backyard.
230
00:13:57,218 --> 00:13:58,947
Those are copperheads
and rattlesnakes.
231
00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,750
I was just giving you the
Latin names, Professor.
232
00:14:02,056 --> 00:14:03,887
Why sure.
233
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,423
Don't know what
I was thinkin' of,
234
00:14:06,494 --> 00:14:08,985
what with these mosquitoes
buzzin' around me all the time.
235
00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:11,398
Look, kid, I ain't interested in a rattler.
236
00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:14,401
What I need is something with
a lot of class, little and cute.
237
00:14:14,469 --> 00:14:16,300
With plenty of zing.
238
00:14:16,905 --> 00:14:19,237
How about
Tyrannosaurus rex?
239
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:23,308
Look, Hassenpfaffer, I came
here for a yard of snake,
240
00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:25,946
not a yard
of highbrow talk.
241
00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:28,005
You got somethin' like I
said, let's do business.
242
00:14:28,082 --> 00:14:31,313
If you ain't, say so, and don't keep
me standin' around here gettin' bit!
243
00:14:32,187 --> 00:14:33,950
How about a coral snake?
244
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:35,780
How's it for size?
245
00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:37,449
Twenty inches.
246
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:39,083
Packs a high grade
of poison?
247
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,525
It certainly does.
248
00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:42,621
Good lookin?
249
00:14:42,697 --> 00:14:44,392
It's got bands
around it,
250
00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:46,296
black and red
and yellow.
251
00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,759
It looks like
the scarlet king snake,
252
00:14:49,404 --> 00:14:51,668
handsomest of American reptiles. Here...
253
00:14:52,373 --> 00:14:54,034
Here, read what it says.
254
00:14:57,745 --> 00:15:02,079
Deadliest type of poison
in North or South America.
255
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,913
Akin to that
of the cobra.
256
00:15:04,786 --> 00:15:05,844
That's my baby.
257
00:15:08,456 --> 00:15:09,582
What you want it for?
258
00:15:11,292 --> 00:15:14,352
They've got no right lettin'
a kid like you advertise.
259
00:15:14,429 --> 00:15:16,363
Here the country's
needin' scientists
260
00:15:16,431 --> 00:15:19,696
and my time is being wasted drivin'
all the way down here to a little punk
261
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,860
who don't know
a snake from a tapeworm.
262
00:15:21,936 --> 00:15:26,134
Keep your snake and I'll keep my top
secret information and my dough as well!
263
00:15:32,413 --> 00:15:34,244
Listen, pal.
Let's make ourselves a deal.
264
00:15:34,315 --> 00:15:38,012
A little bitsy one like that can't
come so very high, I guess. Three bucks?
265
00:15:38,319 --> 00:15:39,843
Four?
Ten.
266
00:15:40,288 --> 00:15:43,018
Ten?
That's what I said.
267
00:15:43,091 --> 00:15:47,619
Look, Hassenpfaffer, I'm gonna let
you in on this top secret information,
268
00:15:47,695 --> 00:15:50,994
even though you ain't showin'
a very patriotic attitude.
269
00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:54,628
Our scientists over
at Canaveral
270
00:15:54,702 --> 00:15:58,604
want to see if we can beat the
Russians puttin' a snake on the moon.
271
00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:01,135
Five bucks?
272
00:16:01,276 --> 00:16:02,504
Ten.
273
00:16:03,611 --> 00:16:05,909
Split the difference.
Make it 7.50.
274
00:16:06,381 --> 00:16:07,541
Ten.
275
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:16,985
Want it wrapped?
In a carton.
276
00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:19,818
Make it a good,
strong one.
277
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:26,563
Hermie, you remembered.
278
00:16:26,634 --> 00:16:28,761
Our 15th anniversary.
279
00:16:30,238 --> 00:16:32,763
Listen, you can
hear him in there.
280
00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:38,803
Hermie, you went out and bought
him with your own allowance.
281
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,279
Well, honey, I...
282
00:16:40,348 --> 00:16:43,511
Oh, Hermie, sometimes you
just surprise me to pieces.
283
00:16:43,584 --> 00:16:45,745
You used your own money,
just for me.
284
00:16:46,321 --> 00:16:48,118
Let's open him.
Wait, hold it.
285
00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:52,489
What's the matter? Well, uh,
that's a trained snake, Myra.
286
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,489
He's tame, affectionate.
287
00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:56,218
He does an act.
288
00:16:57,532 --> 00:16:59,261
He does?
Sure.
289
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,359
You can tie him around
your leg for a garter,
290
00:17:01,436 --> 00:17:03,461
or around your neck,
or anywhere.
291
00:17:03,538 --> 00:17:06,803
You just stick his tail in his mouth
like the two ends of a necklace.
292
00:17:07,642 --> 00:17:09,166
How darling!
293
00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:11,040
The guy told me
all about him.
294
00:17:11,112 --> 00:17:13,137
He said you got
to love him up,
295
00:17:13,214 --> 00:17:14,841
you got to make
a pet of him,
296
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:17,748
you got to let him do his
stuff right from the very start.
297
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,844
And he'll be
just crazy about you.
298
00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:21,684
Let's undo him.
Oh, wait.
299
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:24,724
Now, let me
get out of here.
300
00:17:25,526 --> 00:17:27,687
See, I don't want
him seeing me first.
301
00:17:29,664 --> 00:17:31,859
He might take to me,
instead of you.
302
00:17:31,933 --> 00:17:33,298
That's herpetology.
303
00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:37,164
Herpe-what?
Snake psychology.
304
00:17:39,607 --> 00:17:41,768
Now, I'll just go
for a little walk
305
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:45,006
and give you some
time to love him up
306
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:47,070
and get real
friendly with him.
307
00:17:47,682 --> 00:17:50,446
Well, go to it, sweetie.
308
00:17:51,552 --> 00:17:53,247
He's all yours.
309
00:17:54,789 --> 00:17:56,916
Thank you, Hermie.
310
00:18:00,628 --> 00:18:02,562
Slob.
311
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,232
One word and tomorrow
you're a feather duster.
312
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,435
The way I see it, Hermie,
you got two problems.
313
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:20,413
You got to find a hotel for that livestock
and you got to train Myra to drink beer.
314
00:18:20,481 --> 00:18:23,143
You get them two things
settled... What's the matter?
315
00:18:23,751 --> 00:18:26,845
Uh, it's almost 6:00. I gotta go.
316
00:18:26,921 --> 00:18:28,252
Ah, sit down and relax.
317
00:18:28,322 --> 00:18:30,586
Here, I'll split this one
with you. It's the last one.
318
00:18:30,658 --> 00:18:32,125
Ah, no thanks,
George.
319
00:18:32,493 --> 00:18:34,586
Yeah, you get that dame
to drink beer with you,
320
00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:37,187
and the next thing you know,
she'll wanna go fishing
321
00:18:37,265 --> 00:18:39,631
and after that, there's
no telling what she'll do.
322
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,292
Might even raise
your allowance.
323
00:18:41,702 --> 00:18:44,432
Can't even keep gas in your
tank on 10 bucks a week, boy.
324
00:18:44,505 --> 00:18:46,200
Well, thanks for the
beer, George. I got to go.
325
00:18:46,274 --> 00:18:47,263
Hermie.
326
00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:49,670
Yeah?
Put the bite on her!
327
00:19:07,128 --> 00:19:08,891
Shorty.
Huh?
328
00:19:08,963 --> 00:19:10,897
Here's a nickel.
Gimme a loan of the bat.
329
00:19:10,965 --> 00:19:14,059
What for? Never mind what
for. A nickel for five minutes.
330
00:19:14,135 --> 00:19:15,466
Gimme.
331
00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:42,227
Myra?
332
00:19:49,937 --> 00:19:51,336
Myra?
333
00:20:02,717 --> 00:20:04,878
I'm in here,
Hermie.
334
00:20:05,353 --> 00:20:06,513
Where?
335
00:20:06,587 --> 00:20:07,918
In the bedroom.
336
00:20:08,422 --> 00:20:10,151
Hermie, I'm hurt.
337
00:20:11,158 --> 00:20:12,750
Hurt?
338
00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:14,624
Come here, Hermie.
339
00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:25,638
Myra?
340
00:20:26,707 --> 00:20:28,265
Hermie.
341
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,710
He doesn't like me.
342
00:20:35,783 --> 00:20:38,013
What do you mean,
he don't like you?
343
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:42,112
That fellow must've fast
talked you into a bad deal.
344
00:20:42,189 --> 00:20:44,555
That's a cold snake
if I ever saw one.
345
00:20:46,561 --> 00:20:48,461
I'm really hurt,
Hermie.
346
00:20:49,196 --> 00:20:51,994
What'd you do with him?
I put him to bed.
347
00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:55,132
Oh.
348
00:20:57,538 --> 00:20:59,199
What's that for?
Hmmm?
349
00:21:00,274 --> 00:21:02,071
The bat?
Oh!
350
00:21:02,877 --> 00:21:05,368
I've been popping
flies to the kids.
351
00:21:07,348 --> 00:21:10,715
I'm really discouraged, Hermie,
it's just like I told you.
352
00:21:10,785 --> 00:21:14,619
He's a coldblooded thing and he
just can't work up a love for people.
353
00:21:20,661 --> 00:21:24,256
I could fix him an egg.
He might be sweeter to me.
354
00:21:32,873 --> 00:21:34,238
You hold him.
355
00:21:35,876 --> 00:21:37,969
He bit me. He bit me.
356
00:21:38,179 --> 00:21:40,147
Well, you scared him,
Hermie.
357
00:21:40,448 --> 00:21:42,541
How can we ever
catch him now?
358
00:21:43,184 --> 00:21:45,175
Myra! Myra!
359
00:21:45,252 --> 00:21:46,844
I'll put some Mercurochrome on that.
360
00:21:46,921 --> 00:21:48,650
Never can tell where
their teeth have been.
361
00:21:48,723 --> 00:21:50,247
They've been in me!
362
00:21:51,125 --> 00:21:52,217
Myra!
363
00:21:52,793 --> 00:21:54,693
Oh, what's the matter,
Hermie?
364
00:21:54,929 --> 00:21:56,487
Myra, I'm gonna die.
365
00:21:56,564 --> 00:21:58,691
Get a doctor, it's
a poisonous snake.
366
00:21:58,766 --> 00:22:02,065
Oh, Hermie, you wouldn't
give me a poisonous snake.
367
00:22:05,006 --> 00:22:06,530
Hermie?
368
00:22:09,944 --> 00:22:11,707
Mr. Bay!
369
00:22:11,779 --> 00:22:14,077
George, come quick!
370
00:22:22,857 --> 00:22:26,588
I'm going to get rid of all the
animals, every last one of them.
371
00:22:27,862 --> 00:22:29,727
Because every time
I look at one,
372
00:22:30,364 --> 00:22:31,922
I'll think of Hermie.
373
00:22:32,833 --> 00:22:34,664
You've got to go on,
Mrs. Jenson.
374
00:22:35,469 --> 00:22:36,993
I'm going to sell the house,
375
00:22:37,672 --> 00:22:38,969
go away.
376
00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:41,535
Europe. Hawaii.
377
00:22:42,677 --> 00:22:44,474
The South Seas.
378
00:22:46,814 --> 00:22:49,715
But you know,
it won't be the same.
379
00:22:50,551 --> 00:22:51,984
Here he is.
380
00:22:54,922 --> 00:22:56,480
Alive and kickin'.
381
00:22:58,325 --> 00:23:00,020
Well, I was right.
Sure.
382
00:23:00,094 --> 00:23:01,527
He's not poisonous?
383
00:23:01,595 --> 00:23:02,823
Of course not.
384
00:23:02,897 --> 00:23:05,058
Hermie never would
slip you a hot snake.
385
00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:08,158
This is a king snake,
that's not a coral.
386
00:23:08,235 --> 00:23:09,998
They just look alike.
387
00:23:10,671 --> 00:23:12,298
As I told you,
Mrs. Jenkins,
388
00:23:12,373 --> 00:23:14,568
your husband died
of a heart attack.
389
00:23:15,209 --> 00:23:18,770
Poor Hermie. Right up to
the last, he was kidding.
390
00:23:19,547 --> 00:23:21,174
Always kidding.
391
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,164
I'm attempting
to improve on nature
392
00:23:39,236 --> 00:23:42,569
by giving this flower
a more inviting scent.
393
00:23:43,174 --> 00:23:45,972
I want my friend
to get quite close.
394
00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:49,669
This perfume has
such a suggestive name
395
00:23:50,114 --> 00:23:53,106
I'm not even allowed
to mention it on the air.
396
00:23:53,751 --> 00:23:58,154
The saleswoman told me it's
infallible in attracting men.
397
00:23:58,622 --> 00:24:00,988
This was the last
bottle they had.
398
00:24:01,058 --> 00:24:05,757
Their entire supply was bought
up by the Army recruiting office.
399
00:24:06,464 --> 00:24:09,763
I shall return next time
with another story.
400
00:24:09,834 --> 00:24:12,496
Until then, goodnight.
28351
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