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This has been the NBC Nightly News
with Tom Brokaw.
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Please stay tuned for
our next program in progress.
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00:00:57,247 --> 00:01:01,843
Gosh. Wasn't that story
about the heart transplant amazing?
4
00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:03,838
I wasn't paying attention.
5
00:01:03,927 --> 00:01:06,919
I was fantasising
what Tom Brokaw looks like naked.
6
00:01:09,207 --> 00:01:13,997
He must have sensed it. I thought
I saw him looking down your blouse.
7
00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:16,038
Hi, Ma. Hi, Tony.
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We won the dance contest
at the Sons Of Italy bar.
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That's fantastic.
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00:01:21,807 --> 00:01:24,719
I had no idea you were such a dancer.
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In the over-80s we were the only couple
to do the mambo without a walker.
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Don't believe her. She has great moves.
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- I'll see you tomorrow.
- OK, Tony, take care.
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Give me a break, would you?
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Bye.
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00:01:50,087 --> 00:01:52,317
You really like Tony a lot.
17
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He's the best catch in town.
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He's got his own hair, his own teeth and
a totally unrestricted driver's license.
19
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:03,204
At my age,
that's like dating Tom Cruise.
20
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,278
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi, Rose.
21
00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:09,437
- Hi.
- Rose?
22
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,478
Yes, Dorothy.
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00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,525
Is that a chicken
you're carrying in that cage?
24
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- I think it is. See you.
- Rose.
25
00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:21,886
- Before you all say no...
- No.
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00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,845
Please, just hear me out.
27
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You've heard me speak about
Sylvia Butell. This is her chicken.
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Sylvia Butell?
Isn't she the woman who thought
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00:02:32,727 --> 00:02:36,640
Milton Berle was sending her secret
messages through her dentures?
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Yes, but with extensive counselling
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00:02:39,207 --> 00:02:42,677
and some new bridgework,
she's totally back to normal.
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The woman keeps a chicken
in her house. How normal can she be?
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- I kept a chicken in my home.
- You see my point?
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I will not have
that filthy beast in my house.
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- It belongs in a barnyard.
- This is not a farm chicken.
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Count Bessie is a showbiz chicken.
Wait till you see this.
37
00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:06,882
A showbiz chicken?
What does she do, play the piano?
38
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She plays the piano.
39
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,402
You just wait until you see this.
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OK, honey, come on, it's showtime.
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Yeah, come on, sweetheart.
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I know.
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Here we go. OK, Count, hit it.
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Isn't she incredible?
What do you say, girls? Can she stay?
45
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- I guess so. All right.
- Thank you.
46
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Just be sure and keep her in her cage.
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Maybe I can convince the Count
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00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:46,887
to give us some live entertainment
with dessert.
49
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Have you any requests?
50
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,958
How about Bye Bye Birdie?
51
00:03:54,407 --> 00:03:59,117
Sometimes I get confused. I want to
make sure I have this absolutely right.
52
00:03:59,207 --> 00:04:02,836
Rose works somewhere where they help
people with mental problems?
53
00:04:02,927 --> 00:04:06,522
- That's right, Ma.
- Can we contact Morley Safer?
54
00:04:08,087 --> 00:04:10,157
I wonder who that could be.
55
00:04:10,247 --> 00:04:13,125
Maybe it's the Count's
clarinet player Henny Goodman.
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Aunt Angela.
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No, Sophia Loren.
I stopped using Oil of Olay.
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- Angela.
- Sophia.
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00:04:25,527 --> 00:04:27,438
Hello there.
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00:04:27,527 --> 00:04:29,438
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
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00:04:29,527 --> 00:04:32,246
You travelled 5,000 miles
from Sicily for nothing?
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00:04:32,327 --> 00:04:35,717
I know. The Valducci-Petrillo vendetta
is still on.
63
00:04:35,807 --> 00:04:38,367
Dorothy, buy a dozen mattresses,
30Ib of pasta
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00:04:38,447 --> 00:04:41,007
and some aluminium foil for the windows.
65
00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:42,998
There is no vendetta.
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00:04:43,087 --> 00:04:45,647
There's not even
a Valducci family anymore.
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00:04:45,727 --> 00:04:48,321
They ate some sausages
that they shouldn't have
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at their last family picnic
and they all died.
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00:04:51,407 --> 00:04:53,443
Food poisoning?
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00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:57,236
No, they stole the sausage
from the Calabresi family.
71
00:04:57,327 --> 00:04:59,238
So, what are you doing here?
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00:04:59,327 --> 00:05:02,239
I took a vacation to come and see you.
73
00:05:02,327 --> 00:05:05,922
- Didn't you get my letter?
- No. We never got a letter.
74
00:05:06,007 --> 00:05:07,963
She never sent it. She forgets.
75
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:10,356
- I don't forget anything.
- Hi, Angela.
76
00:05:10,447 --> 00:05:12,358
- Hi, Blanche.
- No, I'm Blanche.
77
00:05:12,447 --> 00:05:15,803
Isn't that confusing, having
two Blanches in the same house?
78
00:05:15,887 --> 00:05:19,436
Wouldn't you like to lie down?
You've had a long trip.
79
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,961
No. I just got here.
80
00:05:22,047 --> 00:05:24,959
I always get tired
after a long trip.
81
00:05:25,047 --> 00:05:29,199
I remember one time Daddy
took the whole family cross state
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00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:32,677
on our tractor to visit
Great-grandfather Zingbarten.
83
00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:36,642
Great-grandpa Ziggy
was a famous inventor.
84
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:39,958
He developed the first,
and to my knowledge, the only,
85
00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:43,960
low-voltage meter to detect what kind
of centre pieces of candy had.
86
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,359
Anyway, we were just a few miles out...
87
00:05:49,447 --> 00:05:51,677
You know, I am a little tired.
88
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I think I will lie down.
89
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,678
- I'm tired myself.
- Me, too.
90
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,723
I'm exhausted.
91
00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:00,517
Fine, but I'm warning
you all right now,
92
00:06:00,607 --> 00:06:05,317
I'm telling the rest of that story
as soon as you get up.
93
00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:20,681
That was the best meal I've ever had.
94
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:22,962
You left half of it.
95
00:06:23,087 --> 00:06:25,681
- I ate every bite.
- There's some sauce left.
96
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:30,045
If you really like it,
you'll use bread to sop it all up.
97
00:06:30,127 --> 00:06:33,676
- You can afford it.
- No. I've put on a few pounds.
98
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:35,803
- You haven't noticed.
- Am I blind?
99
00:06:37,487 --> 00:06:40,081
I can see that. I meant the bread.
100
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:43,443
You can afford the bread.
It's only 89 cents a loaf.
101
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Angela, sit down. I'll serve dessert.
102
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You two made
such a fantastic meal,
103
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,846
I can't imagine what dessert could be.
104
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- I made dessert.
- Damn.
105
00:06:55,687 --> 00:06:57,598
What'd you say, Blanche?
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Yum, I said yum.
107
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:05,119
Rose, is this another one of those
Scandinavian Viking concoctions?
108
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:07,243
Yes.
109
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,636
It's called gnurchen-frurgen cake.
110
00:07:12,647 --> 00:07:16,242
It's an ancient recipe,
but I Americanised it.
111
00:07:16,327 --> 00:07:20,002
One might say you brought
geflirchen-nirchen into the '80s?
112
00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:25,160
Yes, but I'm not one
to blow my own verturgen-furgen.
113
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I can't even reach mine.
114
00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:40,395
Have you had a chance
to catch up on old times?
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00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:44,400
Angela filled me in on how
my friends and family are doing.
116
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- How is everybody, Angela?
- Dead.
117
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Angela and I are the only two left
of the original family.
118
00:07:51,527 --> 00:07:55,076
That's terrible, Angela.
Does that mean you're all alone?
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00:07:55,167 --> 00:07:57,078
No, I have a goat.
120
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:59,556
Actually, I lead a very full life.
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I get up, milk the goat,
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00:08:01,687 --> 00:08:04,804
go to a funeral, come back,
feed the goat.
123
00:08:05,887 --> 00:08:08,765
Then I drink Chianti and I pass out.
124
00:08:10,127 --> 00:08:14,086
It's a shame you and Ma
don't live closer to each other.
125
00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:17,398
Dorothy is right.
How many years do we have left?
126
00:08:17,487 --> 00:08:20,957
20? 30?
We should live in the same town.
127
00:08:21,047 --> 00:08:23,436
You want to come back to Sicily?
128
00:08:23,527 --> 00:08:27,122
Am I a woman
who beats her laundry on a rock?
129
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,482
You should move here, to Miami.
130
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:32,035
That's a great idea. You'd love Miami.
131
00:08:32,127 --> 00:08:34,721
- Angela, what do you say?
- I don't know.
132
00:08:34,807 --> 00:08:37,719
I'm too old to move
to a strange country.
133
00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:41,402
What? Before your husband died,
you lived here for 30 years.
134
00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,398
I don't know.
135
00:08:43,487 --> 00:08:48,925
Think about it. Who would you rather
live with? Your sister or a goat?
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Give me a minute.
137
00:08:52,807 --> 00:08:54,718
All right, I'll do it.
138
00:08:54,807 --> 00:08:56,718
- Wonderful.
- Good for you.
139
00:08:56,807 --> 00:09:01,085
While you're in Sicily,
we'll look for a place for you to live.
140
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:03,078
Why should she make two trips?
141
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,876
She can stay here
until we find her a place.
142
00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:09,606
That sounds wonderful,
I mean, if nobody minds.
143
00:09:09,687 --> 00:09:11,598
Mind? Why should we mind?
144
00:09:11,687 --> 00:09:15,726
Dorothy, could I see you
in the living room for a moment?
145
00:09:21,967 --> 00:09:24,242
- Are you out of your mind?
- What?
146
00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:27,239
Why did you invite
my sister to live here?
147
00:09:27,327 --> 00:09:30,842
You're the one who invited her
to live in Miami.
148
00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:33,521
Yeah, Miami the city,
not Miami my house.
149
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,518
Am I missing something?
150
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:37,837
You don't know Angela like I do.
151
00:09:37,927 --> 00:09:39,838
She always wanted whatever I had.
152
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:41,838
Even if she didn't want it.
153
00:09:41,927 --> 00:09:44,282
She'll try to muscle in.
154
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,801
Come on. I think you're overreacting.
155
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:48,843
Aunt Angela, where are you going?
156
00:09:48,927 --> 00:09:51,157
I'll tape my name on the mailbox.
157
00:09:51,247 --> 00:09:53,238
After all, I live here now.
158
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:57,684
Any more bright ideas,
linguini-for-brains?
159
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:10,278
Hi, Rose, what you got there?
160
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:13,040
Just a little snack.
Darn, I forgot something.
161
00:10:20,007 --> 00:10:21,918
Not bad. What is it?
162
00:10:22,007 --> 00:10:23,918
I'm not sure.
163
00:10:24,007 --> 00:10:26,316
The pet store calls it Chicken Chow.
164
00:10:33,887 --> 00:10:36,481
Maledizione, maledizione.
165
00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:38,478
Ma, what's wrong now?
166
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:42,355
Living with Angela has been
a nightmare. She'll never leave.
167
00:10:42,447 --> 00:10:46,565
- What has she done now?
- She used up my Porcelana.
168
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,558
Look at all these liver spots.
169
00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:51,286
I've got more brown skin
than the Temptations.
170
00:10:52,327 --> 00:10:54,238
Ma, I'll get you another bottle.
171
00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:57,160
At least try to get along with her.
172
00:10:57,247 --> 00:11:00,796
I have tried.
Did I complain about sharing my bed?
173
00:11:00,887 --> 00:11:04,482
- Yes.
- Or her using my Polygrip?
174
00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:05,556
Yes.
175
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:09,276
Did I complain when she washed
your sweater in a ditch?
176
00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:13,599
- She ruined my sweater?
- Maybe I shouldn't say.
177
00:11:13,687 --> 00:11:16,599
She's not going to be here
that much longer.
178
00:11:16,687 --> 00:11:18,962
I wish you'd try to be patient.
179
00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:21,686
She's out right now
looking at another place.
180
00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:25,362
How many places has she seen
in the past three weeks?
181
00:11:25,447 --> 00:11:29,360
They're "too small," "not enough light,"
"no room for a goat."
182
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:31,358
She'll be here for ever.
183
00:11:31,447 --> 00:11:34,519
Like I told you,
whatever I have, she wants.
184
00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,999
- How was the apartment?
- She liked it very much.
185
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:41,999
What's not to like?
Some lovely people live there.
186
00:11:42,087 --> 00:11:45,682
- It's close to the beach.
- Are you going to take it?
187
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:49,680
It's kind of small
and there's not enough light.
188
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:52,361
And there's no room for a goat.
189
00:11:52,447 --> 00:11:56,520
Come on in the kitchen. I made dinner.
It should be ready.
190
00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:59,838
- I was gonna cook dinner.
- I thought, for a change,
191
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,043
we'd have a meal with flavour.
192
00:12:02,127 --> 00:12:05,039
I'm supposed to get along with that?
193
00:12:05,127 --> 00:12:06,924
That smells great.
194
00:12:07,007 --> 00:12:09,805
She probably defrosted
something I already cooked.
195
00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:12,799
Yeah, I did. But I had to throw it out.
196
00:12:13,807 --> 00:12:16,082
It smelt like it had gone bad.
197
00:12:16,167 --> 00:12:19,318
It was probably no good. You cooked it.
198
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:22,001
That does it.
199
00:12:22,087 --> 00:12:24,362
Ma got something caught in her throat.
200
00:12:24,447 --> 00:12:26,358
There.
201
00:12:26,447 --> 00:12:28,403
That should take care of it.
202
00:12:28,487 --> 00:12:31,399
We're out of fresh pepper.
Do you have any?
203
00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:33,717
Yeah, in the pantry in the back.
204
00:12:33,807 --> 00:12:35,718
Boy, this chicken looks great.
205
00:12:35,807 --> 00:12:37,718
Girls.
206
00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:39,798
Girls, Count Bessie is missing.
207
00:12:41,807 --> 00:12:44,401
I went to the garage to feed her
208
00:12:44,487 --> 00:12:47,479
and her cage was empty.
Where could she be?
209
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,158
Aunt Angela.
210
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,078
Where did you get this chicken?
211
00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:13,158
The garage.
212
00:13:15,287 --> 00:13:18,597
I guess this means no
live entertainment with dessert.
213
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,478
Rose.
214
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:37,525
Honey, you've got to stop torturing
yourself like this.
215
00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,996
- Now, Count Bessie is gone.
- I know.
216
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,043
It's just such a tragedy.
217
00:13:42,127 --> 00:13:45,437
Who cooks a musician
at the height of her career?
218
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:50,797
You've got to put this in perspective.
219
00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:52,798
Count Bessie was a chicken.
220
00:13:52,887 --> 00:13:55,640
Angela didn't fire up Doc Severinsen.
221
00:13:57,727 --> 00:14:00,321
- How are you doing, Rose?
- Not very good.
222
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,318
You may not think so now,
223
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:05,046
but in a few days you'll feel better.
224
00:14:05,127 --> 00:14:08,403
No, I won't.
Mrs Butell will be back by then.
225
00:14:08,487 --> 00:14:10,398
What am I supposed to say?
226
00:14:10,487 --> 00:14:12,398
Welcome home. How was your trip?
227
00:14:12,487 --> 00:14:14,796
By the way, here's Count Bessie.
228
00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:21,442
Rose, honey,
think of the positive things.
229
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:25,076
Count Bessie accomplished more
in a few years on this earth
230
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:28,523
than most chickens do
in a lifetime.
231
00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:33,440
Give me a break.
I'm making this up as I go along.
232
00:14:33,527 --> 00:14:38,442
Above all else,
that chicken was a great entertainer.
233
00:14:38,527 --> 00:14:40,563
And a great entertainer
234
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,320
deserves to be remembered
in a special way.
235
00:14:43,407 --> 00:14:44,999
Yeah.
236
00:14:45,087 --> 00:14:47,726
Like with a roast at the Friars Club.
237
00:15:01,407 --> 00:15:03,318
I was only kidding.
238
00:15:03,407 --> 00:15:07,036
- It was just a joke.
- And a pretty darn good one.
239
00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:09,958
Rose, what have you got there?
240
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:12,038
Exhibit A.
241
00:15:13,047 --> 00:15:15,003
You know, I like Rose.
242
00:15:15,087 --> 00:15:18,636
But when a woman throws herself
on a chicken screaming "murderer",
243
00:15:18,727 --> 00:15:21,685
she's not playing
with a full set of balls.
244
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:24,725
I'm getting out of here just in time.
245
00:15:24,807 --> 00:15:27,037
- You found an apartment?
- Yeah.
246
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,676
I went down to the Senior
Citizens' Centre this morning.
247
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:34,919
Decaf coffee, sodium-free bacon
and a chest x-ray.
248
00:15:35,007 --> 00:15:39,956
I saw some advertisements for roommates,
so I picked out a few places
249
00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:41,275
and I found one I liked.
250
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:43,278
Isn't that wonderful?
251
00:15:43,367 --> 00:15:46,962
My new roommate will come
to help me move my stuff.
252
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,958
- Thief.
- What?
253
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:51,356
- What's that on your neck?
- A wart.
254
00:15:52,967 --> 00:15:55,765
That's my necklace
Momma gave me for confirmation.
255
00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:57,963
- You always wanted it.
- I did not.
256
00:15:58,047 --> 00:16:00,607
- Why take it?
- To cover the wart.
257
00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:03,281
- Give me back my necklace.
- Come on, Ma.
258
00:16:03,367 --> 00:16:07,155
No, no, no, come on.
Here. Forget it.
259
00:16:07,247 --> 00:16:11,160
She's accused me of stealing everything
of hers that wasn't nailed down.
260
00:16:11,247 --> 00:16:14,125
I'm sick of it. I'm glad I'm moving.
261
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,085
- Moving?
- Angela found an apartment.
262
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:20,079
I know you hate me,
so don't bother visiting.
263
00:16:20,167 --> 00:16:22,078
Come on, you two.
264
00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:24,158
Ma, she is your only sister.
265
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,486
OK.
266
00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:30,640
All we've done is fight for
three weeks. How about a truce?
267
00:16:30,727 --> 00:16:32,957
OK. A truce.
268
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:37,002
Hi.
269
00:16:37,967 --> 00:16:39,878
Hi, Tony.
270
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,923
- You know him?
- He's my boyfriend.
271
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:43,998
That's my new roommate.
272
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:48,442
I thought
this address sounded familiar.
273
00:16:48,527 --> 00:16:50,518
Boy, this is some coincidence.
274
00:16:50,607 --> 00:16:52,518
This is no coincidence.
275
00:16:52,607 --> 00:16:55,440
Everything I have, you try to steal.
276
00:16:55,527 --> 00:16:57,757
May the bags under your eyes
277
00:16:57,847 --> 00:17:00,805
grow so large your head falls in 'em.
278
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,799
May your shampoo get mixed up
with Preparation H
279
00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:06,447
and shrink your head to mushroom size.
280
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:08,563
Tony, the bag.
281
00:17:18,527 --> 00:17:21,121
Come on, just try it. It doesn't hurt.
282
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,198
See?
283
00:17:34,527 --> 00:17:36,438
Hi, Dorothy.
284
00:17:36,527 --> 00:17:38,518
Hi, Rose.
285
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,438
Rose, do you know offhand
286
00:17:42,527 --> 00:17:46,156
if 911 is the right number
to call for a straitjacket?
287
00:17:48,207 --> 00:17:50,437
- I can explain.
- I know you can.
288
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,597
That's the scary part.
289
00:17:52,687 --> 00:17:54,598
You don't understand.
290
00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:58,282
When Mrs Butell finds out about
Count Bessie, she'll be devastated.
291
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,597
There'll be a void in her life,
292
00:18:00,687 --> 00:18:03,155
that only another
musical chicken can fill.
293
00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:07,479
If you're worried about voids,
start with the one in your head.
294
00:18:08,527 --> 00:18:10,757
Come on, honey. Just a few notes.
295
00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:12,917
Dorothy, do you believe it?
296
00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:17,000
Four chickens and not one
of them has any musical ability.
297
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:19,958
It's a sad commentary, Rose.
298
00:18:20,047 --> 00:18:23,722
All the young chickens are wasting
their time playing video games.
299
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:29,326
Can I make y'all some lunch?
Fruit salad.
300
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:31,967
That sounds good. I'll get Sophia.
301
00:18:32,047 --> 00:18:35,642
She has no appetite since
she was stabbed in the back.
302
00:18:35,727 --> 00:18:38,685
My God. Who stabbed Sophia?
303
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:41,440
The chef at Benihana.
304
00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:46,920
Angela. Ma thinks that Angela
tried to steal her boyfriend.
305
00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:48,918
- And you don't?
- Of course not.
306
00:18:49,007 --> 00:18:52,317
Don't be so sure, Dorothy.
Angela and Sophia are sisters.
307
00:18:52,407 --> 00:18:55,444
Sisters have a natural
adversarial relationship.
308
00:18:55,527 --> 00:18:57,438
That's 'cause it's genetic.
309
00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:01,600
It has to do with the double helix
of the DNA molecule.
310
00:19:01,687 --> 00:19:03,439
What?
311
00:19:03,527 --> 00:19:05,518
I saw it on television.
312
00:19:05,607 --> 00:19:09,395
Peter Marshall played
this microbiologist on The Love Boat
313
00:19:09,487 --> 00:19:13,480
and he was conducting sinister
experiments on the Landers sisters.
314
00:19:14,807 --> 00:19:17,037
My apologies, Rose. For a moment there,
315
00:19:17,127 --> 00:19:20,324
I didn't think it had been documented.
316
00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:23,683
What is happening between
Sophia and Angela is not unlike
317
00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:26,486
an incident between
my sister Virginia and me
318
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,876
when we were in high school.
319
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,527
Can you believe
that one's very own sister
320
00:19:31,607 --> 00:19:35,919
could seduce her sibling's boyfriend on
the eve of that sibling's senior prom?
321
00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:39,602
- Virginia did that to you?
- No, I did that to Virginia.
322
00:19:41,407 --> 00:19:45,116
She deserved it. She borrowed
my saddle shoes without asking.
323
00:19:46,607 --> 00:19:51,203
What? She scuffed those shoes.
I hardly left a mark on that boy.
324
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:56,439
I'll see you later.
I'm going over to Tony's.
325
00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:58,438
- For lunch?
- No. I called him.
326
00:19:58,527 --> 00:20:01,121
He was in bed. I heard female laughter.
327
00:20:01,207 --> 00:20:04,483
It was Angela. They're sleeping
together, like I suspected.
328
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:08,765
I'm going to kill her.
I'll be back for Wheel Of Fortune.
329
00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:20,965
Open up, tramp.
I know you're in there.
330
00:20:21,047 --> 00:20:23,277
You can run but you can't hide.
331
00:20:23,367 --> 00:20:25,278
Run? I can barely walk.
332
00:20:25,367 --> 00:20:27,278
Fine. Rub it in.
333
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,517
What are you talking about?
334
00:20:33,727 --> 00:20:35,957
You and Tony have been fooling around.
335
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:38,686
That's a lie.
I've been shopping all day.
336
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:41,998
- In your bath robe?
- I took a shower. Kill me.
337
00:20:42,087 --> 00:20:44,521
Why do you think I came over?
338
00:20:44,607 --> 00:20:48,077
How will you do it?
Make me eat your ziti?
339
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:51,079
- Take that back.
- I will not.
340
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,158
May the hair on your lip
341
00:20:53,247 --> 00:20:55,920
get tangled with
the hair from your nose.
342
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,918
May you take a diuretic
343
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:02,079
and not be able
to get your pantyhose off.
344
00:21:03,167 --> 00:21:05,078
What's going on here?
345
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:09,001
Taking a shower?
I suppose this is your loofah sponge.
346
00:21:09,087 --> 00:21:11,396
What are you talking about?
347
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,398
You toyed with my emotions.
348
00:21:13,487 --> 00:21:16,684
You toyed with my affection.
You toyed with my sister.
349
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:20,282
That's not true, Sophia.
Angela's just my roommate.
350
00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:22,597
You're the only woman in my life.
351
00:21:22,687 --> 00:21:25,679
There can be no-one else but you, dear.
352
00:21:26,687 --> 00:21:28,723
Tony.
353
00:21:30,727 --> 00:21:33,719
Angela.
354
00:21:36,367 --> 00:21:38,358
Boy, who is that woman?
355
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,323
This woman.
356
00:21:41,407 --> 00:21:44,319
- She's my cleaning lady.
- What?
357
00:21:44,407 --> 00:21:47,160
But I'm "the only woman in your life".
358
00:21:47,247 --> 00:21:49,158
You've insulted my sister's honour.
359
00:21:49,247 --> 00:21:51,158
I don't know what to say.
360
00:21:51,247 --> 00:21:53,841
I'll tell you what to say. Say "ouch."
361
00:21:53,927 --> 00:21:56,600
- Say "that hurts."
- Say "please stop hitting me."
362
00:22:03,567 --> 00:22:06,604
You two just started hitting him
with your purses?
363
00:22:06,687 --> 00:22:08,598
He was cheating on me.
364
00:22:08,687 --> 00:22:11,599
In Sicily, if Uncle Bruno
had heard about this,
365
00:22:11,687 --> 00:22:13,757
he'd have been in hot water.
366
00:22:13,847 --> 00:22:16,759
- What would Uncle Bruno do?
- She just told you.
367
00:22:16,847 --> 00:22:19,520
He would have put him in hot water.
368
00:22:20,567 --> 00:22:24,276
Something good came out of this.
You two are close again.
369
00:22:24,367 --> 00:22:27,598
Yeah, right now, but before long
we'll be fighting again.
370
00:22:27,687 --> 00:22:31,600
It's not that we don't love each
other. It's just our relationship.
371
00:22:31,687 --> 00:22:34,281
- We get it from our mother.
- Our father.
372
00:22:34,367 --> 00:22:36,278
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
373
00:22:36,367 --> 00:22:38,722
- May your nose...
- Ma.
374
00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:44,760
You're right. You're right.
We get it from our father.
375
00:22:46,647 --> 00:22:48,558
Now, Angela,
376
00:22:48,647 --> 00:22:51,923
there's something
I want to give you. Here.
377
00:22:52,007 --> 00:22:53,918
That's the necklace Momma gave you.
378
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:55,918
I want you to have it.
379
00:22:56,007 --> 00:22:59,602
It's my way of apologising
for the way I acted.
380
00:22:59,687 --> 00:23:03,600
Sophia, this is the nicest thing
anybody ever gave me.
381
00:23:03,687 --> 00:23:06,997
Don't get choked up.
It's only to hide that wart.
382
00:23:12,047 --> 00:23:15,039
My God, it can't be.
383
00:23:17,167 --> 00:23:20,398
It is. Count Bessie.
384
00:23:20,487 --> 00:23:23,081
Angela, that chicken
you cooked the other night,
385
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:25,681
didn't you get that from the garage?
386
00:23:25,767 --> 00:23:27,678
- Yes, right.
- Out of a cage?
387
00:23:27,767 --> 00:23:31,999
No, from the freezer.
Do you think I can kill a live chicken?
388
00:23:32,087 --> 00:23:34,078
Am I Conan the Barbarian?
389
00:23:35,287 --> 00:23:39,166
I must have left the door open
and she wandered away.
390
00:23:39,247 --> 00:23:42,080
I've got to get another apartment.
391
00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:46,638
Aunt Angela, until you find
a place, stay right here with us.
392
00:23:46,727 --> 00:23:50,242
Dorothy, can I see you for a moment?
30601
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