Original subtitles

(MUEZZIN CALLS)

MAN: In the annals of crime

only three robberies can be considered as genuine masterpieces.

The first was the great train robbery of 1931.

The second took place in Arabia in 1952...

the Shah of Ben Abu was victim of the greatest jewel robbery in history.

But perhaps the most ingenious, the most cunning of all criminal masterpieces

was the great gold robbery of Cairo.

(SPEAKS ARABIC)

(SPEAKS ARABIC)

(# "AFTER THE FOX" BY BURT BACHARACH)

- SINGERS: # Who is the Fox? - MAN: # I am the Fox

- # Who are you? - # I am me

- # Who is me? - # Me is a thief

# You'll bring your poor, poor mother grief

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Off to the hunt with chains and locks

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Somebody's always chasing after the Fox

- SINGERS: # Where is the gold? - MAN: # It's on the truck

- # Where's the truck? - # Ah, I won't tell

- # You must tell - # Then I will lie

# You'll make your poor, poor sister cry

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Off to the hunt with chains and locks

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Somebody's always chasing after the Fox

- # Why do you steal? - # So I'll be rich

- # Why not work? - # Ah, work is hard

- # You'll be caught - # I never fail

- # All little crooks wind up in jail - # Not me, not me

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Off to the hunt with chains and locks

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Somebody's always chasing

# After the Fox

# After the Fox

And where is the gold now, gentlemen?

According to my agents, it has left Cairo by ship

and is heading for a Mediterranean port where the cash exchange will be made.

But where?

France? Spain? Italy?

And how?

All major shipping ports and air terminals will be watched.

And in what form?

Will they melt the gold down?

Or will they try to smuggle in all 300 bars, weighing nearly 4,000lb?

They have the gold, gentlemen.

But they must find the one man in Europe who possesses the skill, the cunning,

and the genius to attempt an enterprise of such enormity.

I believe they have four possibilities.

Marcel Vignon, of Paris.

Sometimes known as "The Cat".

And, like a cat, he pounces on his prey.

And then, with lightning speed, just disappears.

But now perhaps a little past his prime.

Michael O'Reilly, of Mayfair, London.

"The Panther". But now afflicted with failing eyesight.

This is a stick-up.

Oh no, it isn't. This is the police station.

- Come on, Michael. - I'll have to get my eyes tested.

Felix Kessler, of Berlin.

Hands up!

Hand over.

Once the big man of Germany, but now perhaps too big.

And that leaves one last possibility.

Aldo Vanucci, of Italy.

Now in semiretirement in the peaceful hills of Umbria.

A clever, resourceful criminal, sometimes called "The Fox".

Excuse me.

- Hello, Aldo. - Hello, Aldo.

- You've got a wonderful colour. - I am foreman of the vegetable garden.

And now, before you all starve to death...

Sausages. Prosciutto.

For my mamma, a young spring chicken.

For my sweet sister Gina, magazines, chocolates and American shampoo.

- No cigarettes? - Plain or filter?

Filters.

Oh, Aldo!

You make us so ashamed, so ashamed.

A prisoner has responsibilities.

You don't have to be a prisoner much longer.

You think I need keys to get out of prison?

When I'm ready, I can walk out of this place.

- Hey, Luigi? - Yeah?

You've got a hole in your pants.

But, Aldo, we need you. Something big has come up, very big.

The gold of Cairo.

How did you know?

They say it's worth millions, Aldo, millions.

And what is a man's family worth? Can you count a mother's love?

Can you spend a sister's kiss?

I want to see my Gina dressed in silks.

I want to see her wearing a white wedding gown. But who'd marry a thief's sister?

- I would. - Another thief.

Ah, if only I could steal enough to become an honest man.

- Don't touch my mamma's chicken. - GUARD: Time's up.

Time is up. Everybody out.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

- Aldo, what about the job? - I gave you a job.

I hold you responsible for my mamma, and you for my sister.

I hold you responsible for the chicken. Goodbye.

Buy Gina an ice cream.

- When I see her. - What do you mean, when you see her?

Don't look at him. You see her when she comes home from school, don't you?

- Sometimes. - Aldo, Gina is getting to be a big girl now.

- A very big girl. - So?

So big girls don't always come home when little girls come home.

Gina? My sister Gina?!

- You're lying! Say you're lying! - All right, I'm lying.

- Liar, you're not lying! - I'm not lying.

- Aldo. - I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill him.

Everybody out!

- Not you. - Let me go. I have to save my sister Gina.

- You can save her in six months. - No. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow. I will be out of here by three o'clock tomorrow. This I promise, Gina.

GUARD: Ah, well, the great Fox is still in his cell, isn't he? (LAUGHS)

I wouldn't laugh. He has five minutes to go.

- Doctor, you've finished your rounds? - I have one more to check. Vanucci.

Be careful, we're expecting trouble.

Ah, my clever friend Vanucci.

- Planning to escape, they tell me. - Yes.

It's impossible. How can he get out of his cell without the keys?

- Argh! - Nothing is impossible for Vanucci.

- GUARD: Everything all right, Doctor? - Yes, yes.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

All right, come out quickly.

Why were you so worried? He gave me no trouble at all.

We can't be too careful with that one.

Arrivederci, dottore.

- I'll see you next month. - (CLOCK STRIKES THREE)

One hundred.

Help.

- Seven hundred. Eight. - (GUARDS LAUGH)

- Help! - What's that?

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

(YELLS) Help!

(BLEATINGLY) Help.

- Untie me. Get me out, imbecile. - Good God.

Imbecile, he's escaped. Vanucci has escaped.

- Mamma mia! - Imbecile. Imbecile.

Argh! You're pulling the hairs on my legs.

...thing happened to me before. Never happen...

Agh!

- Happened to me before. - Let him pass.

First I am trussed up like a chicken.

- He'll never make it. They'll get all of us. - If you're just going to cry, sit in the car.

Hey, look! Look.

I don't care about my instruments, but what about my dignity, eh?

- Let go of me. - Who will give me back my dignity?

Start the car!

Start the car!

- Faster! Can't you go any faster? - Still crying, eh?

Do you want to spend the rest of my life in prison?

- Go faster! - Slow down.

The police!

The police are looking for a fast car. So we go slow.

It's a genius sitting in the back, a genius.

Take me home.

Home? In one hour every carabiniere will be looking for you.

So I still have one hour to be with my mamma and my sister. Take me home.

- Now give me my suit. - What suit?

- Didn't you bring my suit? - No. Did you want one?

(GRUNTS)

Mamma!

Mamma.

WOMAN: Cinquanta under the O.

Ventidue under the G.

Ventitre under the I.

Quattro under the B.

(GIGGLING)

Check your cards, please. The wheel spins.

And the number is... diciotto under the G.

- Mamma. - Do we have a winner?

- Mamma, it's me, Aldo. - Hold your cards, it's not the winner.

Novanta under the N.

Mamma, what's going on here? What is all this?

It's Bingo. You want to play? Give him a card. It's 500 lire.

Is this all you have to say to me? After seven months, me, your own son?

I have no son. I have a due under the B.

- Riconto, please. - A due under the B.

- Due under the B. - Pay attention.

- WOMAN: I didn't understand. - Mamma!

Is this how I find the mother of my sister? Running a Bingo game?

What should I do? Rob a bank? I am a mother, not a fox.

- I am not a fox, I am a son. - You are not a son, you are a disgrace.

- ALL: Yes. - WOMAN: Shame on you.

A son's place is at home to take care of his old mother and helpless sister.

Like her son. Her son. Her son. Her son.

- WOMEN: Yes. - Shame on you. Shame!

- Spin the wheel, Teresa. - No, I forbid it.

- Do you hear me? I forbid it. - Oh!

Ah!

- (SIREN) - The police are on their way!

A quattro under the B. Nove under the I.

(HORN)

- Hey, you, get out of the way! - No, no. You take your car back.

- Mamma, where's Gina? - Riconto.

- Mamma, tell me. - Teresa, ecco.

Sedici under the G! Under the G! Where is Gina?

- Where? On the streets, that's where. - You mean my sister is a...

- Bingo. - (WOMEN GROAN)

- We have a winner. - No, I don't believe it. I don't believe it.

It's true. Cinquanta under the O. Ventisette under the I.

Who told you this lie? Who?

Lie? Go! Go see for yourself.

She's on the Via Veneto right now. Go see if it's a lie.

Right, I will.

- Father. - Bless you, my son.

Ciao, pussycat.

Hey.

Champagne subito.

- She's only 16, you dirty old man! - Father, please, I do it for a living.

Aldo, get away. You'll spoil everything.

I'll take care of you later, after I rip his eyes out of his head!

- You don't know what you're doing! - Of course I do. I'm making a movie.

- Movie? What do you mean, a movie? - I'm acting. He's acting. He's directing.

We're making a movie and you spoiled the best scene.

It's true, Father. It's the truth.

- A movie? Where's the camera? - Where's the camera?

There! There's the camera, there.

- When did you become a movie star? - This morning. It's only a small part.

- Yeah? How much they pay you? - Nothing.

So you let him kiss you for nothing. That's worse than taking money. We are going.

- I want to be a movie star! - Father, give me a break. Gina, let's go.

Never! The films are sinful. They are sinful.

- All right. You're fired. - No, no.

All films are sinful.

- Hey, lady, do you want to be in this film? - Yes.

...and pray. Pray.

Pray for our salvation.

(GINA CRIES)

There has been enough crying. Take this soap and wash those lips off your face.

I hate you! I hate you till I die! I hate you!

And thank you for uniting my family.

If I cannot trust you, you are to stay in your room until you are 21.

I go where I want and when I want! Can you say the same, fugitive?

Now just you listen to me, you, you... you delinquent.

- Sneak. - Harlot.

- Coward. - Tramp. Starlet.

You are never to mention acting again. And you are to put down that flowerpot.

She never misses.

Like dogs on the street, they fight. If only your poppa were alive.

Mamma. Mamma, I am the poppa now.

When the poppa goes, the son becomes the poppa. I am the poppa, Mamma.

Everything will be different. We'll be rich soon.

I'll send Gina to a wonderful new school.

And I'll buy you a lovely new kitchen, with shiny new pots and press buttons.

I don't want buttons. I want grandchildren!

Mamma.

You hear that? Your mamma wants grandchildren.

You're a crook... steal her some.

Mamma, turn around. I am going to hit Gina.

Go on, hit me. You don't know any different.

Crook. Fugitive.

You can never walk in the street and say "I am Aldo Vanucci."

I'm not going to live that way. I'm going to be me. I'm going to be rich and famous.

One day, people will point to me and say "That's her. That's Gina Romantica."

- Gina Romantica? - Hm.

I'm changing my name. I don't like "Vanucci".

You won't change your name nor become a movie star.

You will do as I tell you and I tell you this: I am Aldo Vanucci!

And I am proud of it and I will shout it to the world!

I am Aldo Vanucci!

- The police. - Police.

The police.

Remember, I am the poppa and the brother, so don't say nothing.

Understood?

(DOG SNARLS)

No.

Tell your son, Mrs Vanucci, that we'll get him. Like we always get him.

(WEEPS)

Mamma!

Are you all right? Mamma, please.

Speak to me. Say something. Mamma, please.

Is this what I raised my children for?

Well, I won't watch.

Do what you want with your life. I don't care, because mine will soon be over!

- No, Mamma, no! - I want to die in front of my neighbours.

No, Mamma!

(MAMMA WEEPS HYSTERICALLY)

Mamma,

perhaps I have failed you and Gina.

But the Fox will not fail.

It's Vanucci. There has been a change in the plans. The Fox is out of the tree.

We are taking the gold of Cairo job.

Tell the contact to meet me eight o'clock at the Grotta Rossa tomorrow.

Understood?

What?

Oh. All right.

You tell your poppa the message I give now when he come in. Yes?

Good. Bye.

This is the famous Red Grotto restaurant. Typical early Italian.

You are entitled to one plate of spaghetti, one glass of wine, one song.

Please, tip the musicians. I will meet you in the bus.

Please, come in. Please.

(SPEAKS GARBLED WORDS IN AMERICAN ACCENT)

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

(CONTINUES IN GARBLED SPEECH)

- Where's the contact? - Table six.

Six.

Ooh!

That's a very beautiful contact.

(ASKS TO TAKE A PHOTOGRAPH IN GARBLED AMERICAN)

Grazie.

(CONTINUES IN GARBLED SPEECH)

Excuse me. It's a little crowded at my table. May I join you?

MAN'S VOICE: By all means. We don't wish to attract attention, do we?

Please excuse these overelaborate precautions,

but I think you are far less conspicuous

talking to a beautiful woman than to a swarthy-looking man in a fez. True?

True. And far more delightful.

Good.

We see eye to eye even though we're back-to-back.

My name is Okra. The girl? The girl is unimportant.

Oh.

- Order drinks. - Waiter, three whiskies.

- Two drinks. I'm not with you. - Sorry, two.

We can't afford mistakes at this stage of the game, can we, Signor Fox?

Or should I say "partner"?

We are not yet partners, Signor Okra.

- Cigarette? - I do not smoke. But the girl does.

One whisky. One wine.

You are with the tourists.

Now then, my proposition.

It would be better if I held your hand.

- That's better. You were saying? - I will come directly to the point.

My confederates and I, we have in our possession over 300 bars of gold bullion.

Where is the gold now?

Somewhere on the high seas.

- Interesting. Continue. - I'll be brief.

- Take your time. No hurry. - I can't hear you. What are you doing?

I am throwing off suspicion. Keep talking, please.

My clients, extremely powerful men, expect delivery in Rome on the 28th.

Two weeks from today. Is this possible?

Everything is possible.

Now, this is my offer.

For the plan and execution of importing the gold into Italy and delivery to Rome,

I offer to you 25 per cent of the profits. Hm? Are you satisfied?

- Not yet, not yet. - My clients are impatient. 30 per cent?

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

40 per cent. This is the loudest I can talk. Did you hear that?

- I can hear it, but I don't want it. - Then what do you want?

- More meetings. - Impossible. Fifty-fifty, my last offer.

Well, we must take what we can get.

I can see now why you're called the Fox. I suppose that we have a deal, signor.

Considered.

(WHISTLES)

And may I say that it has been a great pleasure

doing business with a man as beautiful as you?

Everybody back on the bus.

Bye.

TOUR GUIDE: Next stop Mamma Luigi's.

Can I have your pizza orders now, please?

(BRASS BAND PLAYS JAUNTY TUNE)

No market. Another national holiday. We won't eat today.

That's right, tell the world where we are. Imbecile!

Shh, shh.

He is thinking.

Well, he has three more days to think of a plan. They want the gold on the 28th.

- (KNOCKING) - Who is it?

Friends.

Come in.

Hey. Hey.

- The police. - Ooh.

(KNOCKING)

Just a minute.

I'm not dressed.

Aldo, the police are here.

Do you hear us, Aldo? It's the police!

Aldo, stop thinking for a minute. The police are here.

- Ooh! - Uh?

- Where am I? - You're in the bath. The police are here.

- The police? - Yes.

Open up. Open up or we'll break it down.

- All right, where is he? - Who?

In the bathroom.

All right, Vanucci. Come on out.

(GLASS BREAKS AND CAT WAILS)

You tell Vanucci I'll get him. One of these days he is going to expose himself.

(WHISTLES)

Aldo? Aldo?

Uh?

- She's gone. - What?

The Via Veneto again.

- This time I kill her! - No. No. No, Aldo.

Gina's a good girl. She's just young, that's all.

- Aldo. Aldo! - Huh?

Not like that.

Oh.

How would you like that, my dear?

(CAR SKIDS AND HORN BLARES)

- Caught you again. - Get away from me!

- What's wrong, Officer? - Hey, you!

Watch out. You're in the picture.

I warn you! I warn you, no more pictures with my sister.

- Gott in Himmel. - Aldo!

It's not a movie! It's not!

Nein, nein! Mein Kamera, mein Kamera!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Come on. Ah!

(GINA HUMS)

That was a real producer and he was going to give me a part in his film.

- He had a contract. - And a pen in his hotel room.

- Is this to be the life, running away? - Permesso, permesso.

Permesso.

Stand aside, please. Don't block the entrance.

That's right. Stand aside. Don't block the entrance.

- Here he comes! - (CHEERING)

I was here first.

- Who is it? - It's a movie star.

- Which one? - Who cares which one? It's a movie star.

- Who is it? Can you see? - Just his nose. Looks like Marlon Brando.

- What did she say? - Who is in the car?

Marlon Brando's nose.

Ah!

It's Tony Powell.

- Come on, let's go. - I don't want to go.

I want to see Tony Powell.

Silence! Silence! Hold it! Give him a break, kids!

Come on, give him a break. Let him through.

Stop it, you crazy kids, you!

They're insane. Is this what you want?

- To have the clothes torn off your back? - Yes.

- Hey! - GINA: I want it!

- There he is! - Give it to me.

Who wants his collar?

Quick, let's hide in this cinema.

- No, no, no. I've seen this picture. - See it again.

- There is a Tony Powell picture, there. - Come on, then.

Oh, here, in here.

- Tickets. - Carabiniere.

Carabiniere.

GINA: That's him.

- Who? - Tony Powell.

- We just saw him in the Excelsior. - Ah.

- Why isn't he fat? - It's an old picture.

Hello. I wanna talk to the overseas operator, please. That's right.

I wonder what's the matter with my stomach. What do they put in lasagne?

Lasagne? At your age it's hard to digest corn flakes. Operator?

What do you mean, at my age?

Take a look at this. I've still got the pupils of a young boy.

Don't try telling it to the camera. Hello. I wanna talk to America.

The United States of America! What the...

Look at those teeth, Harry.

Just look at 'em. (LAUGHS)

How many people in the world over 40 can still say they have their own teeth?

And how many people over 50 can still say they're only 40?

Hello. I wanna talk to Hollywood, California, please. Hollywood!

I am speaking English!

Look at this.

Look at this. Solid as a rock. Come on, give me a hit in the stomach.

I'll hit you later, Tony. I'm making a call.

- Sam Duffleman of Duffleman Studios. - Just one shot to the stomach.

Excuse me, Operator. I have to hit someone.

(LAUGHS) You satisfied?

- Satisfied. Give me an answer for Sam. - Later.

I've got to take a shower.

Hello. Beverly Hills, 42222.

No. 2222.

They're getting him. Give me an answer.

Tony!

Tony!

Tony?

- What are you doing? - I'm looking for my vitamin pills.

Why not put your glasses on?

Why don't you send for a wheelchair and have me rolled into the old actors' home?

I don't care what it says in Who's Who. I still feel 35.

And you can tell Sam Duffleman,

if he wants me to play a 64-year-old sheriff, he'll have to wait another 20 years.

Who's gonna believe you're 64?!

63-year-old ladies.

That trench coat is your bread and butter. Without it you have 10 per cent of nothing.

- You don't have to be 64. You could be 60. - I don't wanna be 60! I wanna be 40.

- How can you be 40 when your son is 35? - They can make the son 25.

- How can they when his wife is 30? - And then?

I can be his brother.

Tony, I wish we could turn the clock back for you. We all wanna stay young.

But you can't lie to the close-up lens. You know that.

If you lead the charge of the Light Brigade in a corset,

they'll laugh you right off the screen.

I'd rather get laughs than sympathy.

- You all right? - Of course I'm all right.

I was only trying to prove how agile I am.

Oh!

He's a good kisser.

Do you know how many good kissers are starving in Italy?

If you're in the movies they give you millions of dollars.

Women tear your clothes off. Police protect you wherever you go.

I tell you, it's a...

Wait a minute.

Police protect you...

Did you hear what I said? Did you hear what I said?

- Shh! - That's it. I've got it.

I've got a plan! I've got a plan! Ha!

Come, come. Ha, I've got a plan.

Quiet! Quiet on the set!

Ready, Mr De Sica. Ready with the camera.

Quiet, everybody!

Quiet on set!

(APPLAUSE)

Please, save the applause for when I'm finished.

This afternoon we shoot the scene

when Mr John Huston, Moses, leads the slaves into the desert.

(SNAPS FINGERS)

I want more sand in the desert!

More sand! More sand!

- Let me look at the slaves. - Bring on the slaves!

Left. Left. Left, right. Left, right.

Come along there. Pick up your steps. Come along. Left, right. Left, right. Left.

Slaves, halt!

Right turn.

Ready, Mr De Sica.

Good.

We start with the sandstorm.

Please, Mr Huston, please.

Clapper. Roll them!

Uno, prima.

- Action! - Start the blowers!

- More sand! - More sand!

More sand!

- More wind! - More wind!

More wind!

- Stop! - Stop!

Stop, stop, stop!

- Where is the camera? - And the lamps?

Sevalio.

That's it. That's good for landing the gold.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Beautiful little boy.

Eh? Eh, eh?

- A smoke? - Uh-uh.

Beautiful little boy, tell me, is there a good hotel in this town?

Giovanni, get away from there. Don't talk to strange people.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Nice friendly little town, this.

It's like this in all these poor little villages, direttore.

They don't trust people from the city.

How my heart goes out to these poor forgotten people. Eh?

Dear poor forgotten lady,

how would you like to have this?

Gina, sweetheart, darling, go and stand on the film fountain. There's a good girl.

Now then, for this shot I absolutely need to have the 14 reflex...

Not that reflex. With the 75 opening.

Put that Hollywood film camera over there.

Hurry. Time is money, time is money. Come, come, come.

We begin with the long full tracking thing. Panning the camera. Putting it down.

- They're making a movie. - Good. Hah!

They're making a movie in Sevalio!

- Papa, come back. You're sick. - The movie, I want to be in the movie.

Rosa, close the shop. We are going to be in the movie.

Hey, hey, Mr Director!

Here's my Giovanni. Pick my Giovanni, Mr Director.

Let me through. They are staying at my house.

I am your wife. Tell them, I am your wife.

- I am the caf� owner. - I am the mayor.

Yes, yes. Federico Fabrizi.

- Don't push! - Don't push. Don't push.

Don't push. Don't push.

Everybody will be in the picture, but don't push.

ALL: Don't push!

- What's happening? - Ah! Get away. I was here first.

I demand to know what's happening. I am the chief of police. Let me through.

Let the police through. Let the police through. Let me through.

Permit me!

Rizzuto, Chief of Police. What's going on here, please?

(LAUGHS)

We are trying to make a movie here.

- Can I see your permit, please? - My what?

Your official permit. If you don't have a permit, you can't make a movie.

No. Stop it! Stop it!

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

- We should talk before they kill you. - CROWD: Yeah!

- Please. - It's always like this when I'm filming.

- Please. Please. - For me.

Starring Gina Romantica

and the internationally handsome star Tony Powell.

Well, Signor Fabrizi, this is a great honour for Sevalio, a great honour.

- Have a cigar. - Ah.

- I couldn't take your last one. - Thank you.

So, you say you actually know Signor Tony Powell?

I am his director, producer and best friend.

Yes. But I mean, you actually know him to talk to, in the same room, up close?

Ah.

Just the same, just exactly the same as you and I are talking now.

Cigarette?

Thank you. Hmm.

English. Very nice.

Now then, the business of the permit.

Just because I am Federico Fabrizi, the star maker,

I don't expect to get any special treatment.

Yes. Hm. Interesting.

I'm glad we agree on that. What's interesting?

You must excuse me, but every time I see a face with good bone structure,

immediately I picture that face up on the screen.

- You were saying about the application? - We must file an application in Roma,

which goes to the district supervisor, and then to me for final approval.

In what way do I have good bone structure?

In films, either you have got a face, or you don't got a face.

You have got a face.

- Can I have it, please? - What?

- The application form. - Oh, yes, yes.

I'm sure I have got one here somewhere.

And you say I have a face, eh?

I noticed it when the light hit you from the side.

- Did you look on the shelves? - Not yet.

Everything is in such a mess.

Oh!

Here it is. Here it is.

Permit for parades and special events.

Oh!

- Sorry. - All right. You have good bone structure.

Now then, you would be required to have this filled out in triplicate.

And then it must be brought to be stamped at the Bureau of...

- Is anything wrong? - Please, continue.

The Bureau of Approval, which would...

I wonder. I wonder.

- No, no, I couldn't ask it. - What is it? Ask me. Go ahead, ask me.

No, I couldn't ask you. You are a policeman.

That's what policemen are for... to ask them things. Go ahead, ask me.

Well, I couldn't ask you to actually act in the picture

because I only use professionals for the talking parts.

No, I couldn't act. I'm a policeman. Don't ask me to act.

Of course not.

What were you going to ask me?

Well, if, after I got the permit to film in Sevalio,

if, during the shooting of the film,

my sensitive camera were to come across an interesting face,

with good bone structure,

a face that could be in a crowd, sitting at a caf�...

- Walking along the street. - Walking along the street.

Who could object to that? You wouldn't be acting, you would not be saying anything.

I wouldn't say anything because that would be acting.

I could say "Good morning." That wouldn't be acting. I always say it.

There is a character in this film that says "Good morning."

- It's a milkman, but I could change it. - I don't want you to change your story.

I just take out the milkman and put in a policeman.

Then I'm a policeman? So I could do it?

Yes, it's settled.

You start the picture, I'll take care of the application.

That is a wonderful wink.

Maybe we could use that wink when you say "Good morning."

Whatever you want, you are the director.

Again, my deepest gratitude. And... good morning.

Good morning.

Such a deep rich voice.

(SCREAMS HYSTERICALLY)

Excuse me, excuse me, but we film people must give vent to our feelings.

And I have just vented.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

- OKRA: You have the plan? - ALDO: Yes.

Brilliant in its conception, daring in its execution.

OKRA: How do you get the gold into the country, hm?

On a ship, in broad daylight, with police protection.

Trust me. I'll see you later in the stable.

TONY: # You make me feel so young

# You make feel as though spring has sprung

# Oh, oh-oh

# You make me feel so young

- (PHONE) - # You make me feel so young

Tony!

- Tony! - What?

Did you ever hear of a director called Federico Fabrizi?

No.

He's downstairs. He wants to talk about a picture.

- What? - A neorealistic film.

Send him up. What's neorealism?

No money. Send him up.

Cleopatra Suite, Signor Fabrizi. Fifth floor.

I do all the talking. You will not accept nothing unless I say so. You understand?

Yeah. I'm gonna wear my trench coat.

I'm gonna see what he's done, find out about the money.

I wanna control the script, casting, everything. Right?

Right. I'm gonna sit here, so when he comes in he'll get my best side.

Oh, I've got it.

I'll get everything on paper and two fares to California.

As soon as he comes in, I'll make an entrance.

Come here, will you? Sit down and let me handle this. You're a star!

Pull the shades. I don't wanna squint, it crinkles my eyes.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

- Federico Fabrizi. - I'm sorry, I don't speak Italian.

- I am Federico Fabrizi. - I'm Harry Granoff.

I'm Mr Powell's manager. It's so nice to see you...

Where is he? Where is my Tony? Where is my beautiful Tony?

Ah.

There he is.

There is my Tony.

It's Fabrizi.

Look at that skin. Look at that skin, like a baby.

You never get old like the rest of us, eh?

I love him. I love him!

Mr Fabrizi, have we ever met?

You hear? You hear that voice?

You don't listen to that voice. You feel that voice in here... boom, boom.

Can you wait? Can you wait till we start to work together, eh, Tony?

- Work together? - Cigarette.

Cigarette, Harry.

He's meditating.

I see a beach, the waves pounding against the shore.

A beautiful girl, her heart beating against her breast.

I see a tall, handsome man.

Huh.

Harry, Harry, a light.

- What was I seeing? - A tall, handsome man.

- I don't see it. - In a trench coat.

Now I see it. Now I see it.

I can hear their heart beating as one.

(THEY IMITATE HEARTBEATS)

- I can hear the roar of the ocean. - (THEY IMITATE WAVES)

And, finally, I can hear the music of love.

(THEY HUM A TUNE)

You're not crying? Shh!

- My music does not make you cry? - It's beautiful.

(PHONE)

Hello? Just a minute. Milano.

Hello. Sophia!

Hello, my darling.

No, Sophia, I told you, I'm busy with Tony Powell.

I am sorry, Sophia. You will have to get somebody else.

Sophia, I'm sorry, my darling. There is no part for you in the picture.

Would I lie to you?

I... So... Sophi...

Sophia, don't cr...

Tony, talk to this girl. She's hysterical. Talk to her, please.

Hello? Hello, Sophia.

- She hung up. - She'll kill me. It'll be in all the papers.

- Why don't we use her in our picture? - What picture?! What picture?!

Why does he yell? Why does this man yell all the time?

If I'm gonna have trouble with these yells, I do the film with Sophia. Get Milano.

- No, no. - Milano?

You won't have any trouble with him, I promise you. Harry!

- Take it easy, will you?! - Ah!

What did I do? I just wanna know what this picture is about, that's all.

That!

That is what it's about.

- Windows? - No. People. It's about people.

Can I see a script?

In here is my script. In here is my story.

- Tony... Tony plays the Fox. - An animal picture.

No. The Fox... a master criminal, with an ingenious plan to smuggle gold into Italy.

And a surprise ending.

- What's the plan? - That is the surprise ending.

- I love it. When do we start shooting? - The picture will be shot on the 28th.

- What about a contract? - Contract?

There is my contract.

Do I get a copy for my lawyer?

Tony, until next week, eh?

Right, FF.

FF? Ah!

Federico Fabrizi.

That's very good.

Hey, Tony, try to get some sleep. I think I see a little wrinkle.

Wrinkles?

- What about the girl? - What girl?

On the beach. The love story. And remember, she's gotta be a name.

Don't you worry. I have got the greatest new name in Italy.

- Who is she? - Gina Romantica.

- Can we get her? - If I got him, I can get her.

Arrivederci.

And I love you.

(THEY HUM TUNE)

Where does he see a wrinkle?

Smile, Gina, smile. This is the moment you've been waiting for.

When I see Tony Powell, I'll believe it.

- How do you like this reception? - It's beautiful, beautiful.

Turn your face this way. The light is better.

- So? - No, no. Like this.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Oh, what a blessing when you chose us. This is a golden day for Sevalio.

Yes. Golden.

He's here! He's here!

- Start the music. - I say that! I am the mayor.

- Start the music. - (BAND PLAYS MARCH)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Oh, it's him. It's really him!

Ciao. Grazie. Ciao, ciao.

Ciao. Grazie.

Ciao.

Thank you very much.

You're wonderful people.

Ah, Federico.

- It's so good to see you. - And you. The mayor.

Ah, thank you.

And our wonderful chief of police.

- Good morning. - Good morning to you.

Signore e signori, this indeed is a great day for Sevalio.

It was just 67 years ago that I was born in a little house on top...

(CROWD GROANS)

Oh, no, no, no, no. Silenzio. Grazie.

All right. All right!

I, Giuseppe Molini, 43 years mayor of Sevalio,

wish to present you with the key to our glorious city.

- Thank you. - (LAUGHTER)

Grazie.

I'm deeply, deeply touched.

Beautiful speech.

And now I wanna present to you the man who's made this all possible.

Italy's greatest director, truly a genius, Federico Fabrizi.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

Thank you.

Well now, as director of The Gold of Cairo,

I shall be needing your complete cooperation,

from the smallest little child to your most illustrious chief of police.

- Good morning. - (APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER)

Now comes the moment you have all been waiting for.

Extremely handsome Tony Powell...

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

Meet your co-star,

very beautiful, Gina Romantica.

- Very glad to know you. - (WOMEN SIGH)

Cameramen, technicians, we must take a picture of this.

We are making screen history today.

I now declare this a legal holiday.

The butcher and the barbershop will be closed half a day.

# La notte tutte dormeno

# Ma io che vvuo'durm�

# Penzanno a Nenna mia

# Me sent'ascevul�

# Li quarte d'ora sonano

# A uno, a ddoje, a tre

# Te voglio benne assaje

You know what you are. You are a beautiful man.

- You're a beautiful girl. - That is right. We're both beautiful.

- Do you like being beautiful? - I'm not really beautiful.

Yes, you are. You're even more beautiful in person than you are in real life.

You're very sweet. And very drunk.

- Can I have your autograph? - Harry, pen.

- I don't like it. - Don't drink it.

Not the wine. I don't like the whole setup here. Something here doesn't smell right.

You've been dealing with phonies all your life.

You've never seen honest people like these before. Just look at 'em.

- When do we shoot tomorrow? - Be on the beach at six o'clock.

- I'll be there at 5.30. - Don't forget to shave.

You're the director.

Signor Fabrizi, telephone.

- My wife. - Very pretty.

(LAUGHS)

Be on the beach tomorrow at six o'clock.

- Fabrizi. Who's calling? - Okra.

- Okra? Where are you? - Right behind you.

- What are you doing here? - Just keeping my eyes on things.

- Don't you trust me? - Do you trust me?

- Absolutely. - Neither do I.

How come when I checked Hollywood not one producer ever heard of this Fabrizi?

You checked Hollywood. Check someone in Italy.

All right. I will.

I'm all right. All right. All right. All right. I'm fine.

- Will the ship be on time? - I don't make mistakes.

Sophia, it's no use crying, my darling. And don't call me. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

This is Fred Okra, my coproducer. He invented OkraScope.

This is my personal private secretary.

- Some face, huh? - Isn't it, though?

Listen, when we do this scene with the landing of the gold,

let's use some stuff that looks just like real gold.

OKRA: Like real gold?

- Pronto. - Hello. I wanna speak to Rome, please.

- Rome. It's a city in Italy. - Roma?

No, not Roma. Rome!

- DRIVER: Where to? - To the bus station.

I'm going to Sevalio to see my children.

She is leaving now.

(BELL RINGS SIX TIMES)

RADIO: We are having engine troubles. It must be the engines.

- What? - We'll have to look at the engine.

Federico!

- Good morning. - Good morning, star.

Good morning, co-star and hundreds of extras.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

The first scene that we shoot will be the landing of the gold.

Which should be here any minute now.

Hey. Psst.

Director.

Stall. Stall.

- What? - The ship is having engine trouble.

Tony, there's no Fabrizi registered with the Italian Screen Directors Guild.

Relax, Harry, baby, will you? That man's a genius.

- What am I going to do? - You're a director. Make a movie.

Correction. There has been a change in the shooting schedule.

Instead of doing the landing of the gold, we will begin with the straight acting.

(CROWD GROANS)

Quiet when you're being quiet. Quiet. Now then...

Ready on the camera?

- Ready on the lights? - Ready, but...

Good. You, ready on the makeup? Good, good, good. Uh...

Action!

What do we do?

Stop. Cut. Cut the film, stop the lights, cut everything.

Cut the music, sound. Don't move, anybody. Stay where you are. Cut. Stop.

Tony, sweetheart, you got a question? Never be afraid to ask questions.

It's the only way we're going to get along, you and me.

What are we supposed to do? What's the scene all about?

You wanna know what this scene is all about?

Wait. I have to think.

Quiet! Fabrizi's thinking.

CROWD: Quiet!

- I've got it. - Quiet. He's got it.

I've got it. I've got it. I've got it, I've got it.

- What? - Nothing.

- What? - It's about nothing.

Tony, sweetheart, in this scene we have a great opportunity

to make a wonderful comment on the lack of communication in our society.

Two extremely beautiful people sitting alone at a caf�,

with absolutely nothing to say.

You get the significance?

- It's beautiful. - I love it. I love it.

Gina, technicians, we take it from the beginning. Right, right.

Now then, when I give you the signal, you do nothing, absolutely nothing.

- I love it. - Try and get it right the first time, eh?

Good. Good luck to you. God bless.

Right, now... ready with the nothing?

- MAN: Ready. - Good.

And no... action!

Shh.

- (MEGAPHONE CLINKS) - Shh!

Shh.

- Good morning. - Shh!

This is my son. He's a director.

That's Gina, my daughter. She's an actress.

(APPLAUSE)

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

OK, Gina, Tony, we are ready for the next shot.

Only in this scene, instead of doing nothing,

we do something.

What?

- Running. - What are we running from?

From yourselves. You get the symbolic meaning.

Ah!

No matter how fast you run, you can never run away from yourselves.

Ah, beautiful!

Ready with the legs? Good luck, both of you.

And... action.

Wonderful.

Lunch, everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

Hey, how are you?

You didn't tell me you could run like that.

- Did you like it? - Wonderful, wonderful.

- TONY: Thank you. - No question.

Now, Tony...

in the next scene, you are looking for Gina and Gina is looking for you.

When you find each other, you run into each other's arms.

- And what is the meaning of this scene? - A man's search for his own identity.

It's a man's search for his own identity. Hm.

Now, uh, you townsfolk, in a moment, I want you to walk across the square.

RADIO: We dropped anchor. Now the anchor is stuck.

- What?! - We're going to take a look at the anchor.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Tony, Gina, my darlings.

A director's job is never finished.

My darlings, listen, listen, listen.

I know how tired you must be, because I know how tired I am.

But we must sacrifice our tired for our art, because art is health.

Art is love. Eh?

And art is... art.

Eh?

Wonderful. Gina, you stand here. Tony, my darling, you go over there.

Brilliance.

Right.

Action.

(WHISTLE TRAILS OFF)

VANUCCI: That's it. Slowly, slowly.

Now you see each other.

Now then, when I drop my arm, you rush towards each other.

And a few of you townsfolk, you walk slowly across the square.

And... now!

No, no. Stop. Stop.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Stop it! Stop it!

Back, everyone! Back! Everybody back! Get back! Get back!

VANUCCI: Cut. Stop, stop, stop. Cut. Cut. Cut.

Stop it!

Shame on you, Sevalio!

You are a disgrace to your village and to the motion-picture industry.

Either I get complete cooperation, or you are all out of the picture.

I want you to go back to your homes and think this over.

Remember, there are many other villages who want to be in the movies.

You are all dismissed.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

- I must talk to you. - Who's talking? You or him?

Me.

- I didn't know you had a voice. - He doesn't allow me to talk to anyone.

I haven't used a telephone in six years.

Poor child. You're trembling. Are you cold?

- If he knew I was here, he would kill me. - Swine.

(SNORTS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

GINA: Tony.

What?

- Tony? - Who is it?

It's your co-star, beautiful Gina Romantica.

I'll be right there.

Why do you stay with him?

I can't run away. I'm afraid of him.

You feel any warmer now?

Would you like to... get under the blankets?

I can't stay. I just came to warn you not to trust him.

Oh!

I don't trust him.

I don't trust him for a single moment.

- Can I come in and talk? - Well, it's very late.

No, it's not. It's very early.

The man's got no honour.

He's not like you. I can trust you. You are honest. I can see it in your eyes.

Yes, yes.

Keep looking into my eyes... and trust me.

I've got to tell you something. I'm not what you think I am. Can I tell you a secret?

A secret?

He keeps me a prisoner, a slave.

- He's evil and cruel. - Cruel and evil.

I didn't understand one word you said.

I didn't say anything. I was kissing your ears.

I saw a girl do it to you in a picture once. Did I do it as good as her?

No?

Well, that's was a... long long time ago.

I want to be a great actress, Tony.

- Will you teach me? - You kiss very well.

For a girl, yes.

But not for an actress. You see? No style, no finesse.

I'm so miserable, so unhappy. But what can I do?

Keep talking about it. If it takes you all night long, keep talking about it.

Teach me to be a wonderful movie kisser.

Please.

I'm sorry. I just can't keep my eyes open.

- I don't have enough experience, huh? - No, I've had too much.

After all, I'm fif... thirty-seven years old.

You look twenty-seven. Everything about you is so young.

Your body. Your face. Your hair.

- Only, I like your hair when it's mussed. - No, no, don't.

- Argh! - Tony!

(CRASH)

- Tony, are you all right? - Get me a ladder.

Tell me again how rotten he is, Aldo.

He's rotten. Rotten, I tell you, rotten.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

- Yes, who is it? - Okra. Let me in.

Don't worry. Leave it to me. Hide in the closet, quick.

OKRA: Open up!

Open up.

- What's wrong? - Where is she? I'll kill her if I find her.

- Who are you looking for? - You know whom I'm looking for.

My sister!

Your sister? She's your sister?!

Go back with your brother. And shame on you! Shame!

Aldo!

If Poppa were alive, he'd kill himself.

(CLOCK STRIKES)

RADIO: We've sighted Sevalio. Get the boats ready, we're coming in.

It's coming. It's coming.

The ship is coming.

How will they shoot in this?

- They won't even find the camera. - He'll find it.

It's crazy. Smuggling gold in front of 300 people, it's crazy.

Shut up! This is the last movie I ever do with you.

(FOGHORN)

There it is! There it is.

(GUNSHOT)

The ship is here! The ship with the gold in is here!

Places for the landing of the gold. Everybody up.

(CROWD CHEERS)

- Am I in this scene? - Without you, I couldn't do it.

Tony, once the gold in the boat is on the shore, I want you to load it into the truck.

I made it heavy so as to look real. Can you do it?

I never use a stunt man.

Your trench coat is your trademark.

I've got a new trademark, Harry, baby. It's called acting.

Aldo! Gina!

It's Mamma!

- What's she doing here? - I sent for her to see me act.

Act quickly, we don't have much time.

Get those crowds out of there.

I want that truck down at the beach. Get it as near the water as possible.

Back! Back! Back, come on. We've got a picture to make here.

VANUCCI: Come on. Everyone down to the boats.

Come on. Hurry. Faster. Faster.

Get that gold back to the shore. That's it.

This picture involves all of you. The first ones back will be in the picture.

Rome. Give me Rome.

- Rome? We've found him. - MAN: Found who?

Vanucci. He's on the beach at Sevalio. It looks like he's making a movie.

Get down there and arrest him.

It's not possible, sir. He's got his whole gang with him, hundreds of them.

Stay where you are. I'll contact the local police.

Yes, sir.

Look, they're nearly there.

(PHONE RINGS)

Good morning.

Good morning.

Come on, pull.

Right. Right.

Left again. Pull.

Right. Right. Pull.

- They are unloading the cargo. - What kind of cargo?

It's very big and it's shaped in bars and it's the colour of gold.

- What do you think it is? - Big bars of gold.

Vanucci.

Of course! It's the gold of Cairo. Report every movement. I'll inform Interpol.

At Sevalio? Alert all stations Sevalio area.

They've found the gold of Cairo. Send reinforcements. We want Vanucci.

Come on there. Come on!

- Aren't you supposed to be filming this? - Me? Oh, yes.

VANUCCI: Come on. Faster, faster. All right, you're all in the shot.

Get that gold out of the boats and into the truck. Come on, quick.

(TOWNSFOLK SING A WORK SONG)

That's it. Keep the gold moving. This is what you've been waiting for all your life.

Your dreams have come true. Your ship has come in.

Let me see it in your faces. Let me hear it in your voices.

Sing, sing, Sevalio, sing!

That's it. Faster, faster.

Sing with your hearts. Show me your happiness.

- They are loading the truck. - Get to the top of the hill.

We'll blockade the road.

(TOWNSFOLK CONTINUE SINGING)

Come on!

- Is that police headquarters? In Sevalio? - Si.

- Is the chief there? - No. He's in the movie, like everybody.

Come on!

Keep singing, Sevalio. Keep singing with joy. With happiness.

With freedom!

Hey, the phone, the phone.

Get away. You're spoiling the shot. Get away, you fool.

Good morning. Rizzuto, Chief of Police.

What do you think you're doing? What are you doing with a gang of crooks?

What?

- What? - Hello?

Vanucci! You are stealing the gold of Cairo with him.

Do you realise you're an accessory before and during and after the fact?

Aldo!

Sevalio, I want Vanucci dead or alive.

Momma, Gina, quick, into the car.

- Are you all right? - Of course. Let me finish my scene.

- Yes, sir. - Do you hear me? Act!

- Don't just stand there! Idiot! - Goodbye, sir.

Stop them! Stop them!

Sing, Sevalio, sing!

(CROWD CHEERS)

Faster, idiot. We'll never catch them.

Where is he? I can't see him.

Faster. Faster.

(HORN)

- Mamma, this is my girlfriend. - How do you do, darling?

HARRY: You can let me off at the embassy.

Car 17, where are you?

MAN: This is car 17. We are right behind you.

No. We are in front of you.

RIZZUTO: Stop the car. I think I hear something. Quiet, everyone.

(WHISTLE)

- It's a train! - (ALL SHOUT IN FEAR)

Mamma mia! Mama mia! Mamma mia! Mama mia!

Mamma mia! Mama mia! Mamma mia! Mama mia!

Mamma mia.

I wasn't afraid.

- Start the car. - I don't want to drive any more.

I resign from the police.

- Start the car. - I wasn't afraid.

I wasn't afraid for even one second. I wasn't. Really, I wasn't afraid.

Vanucci!

Turn left!

Okra!

- VANUCCI: Let me drive. - MAN: You are driving!

Okra!

Faster!

HARRY: I demand to see the American...

Vanucci!

(SHOUTING)

JUDGE: Silenzio.

- Silenzio! - (RINGS BELL)

- Silenzio. - Silenzio.

Silenzio.

Will the accused please stand?

- All of them? - All of them, Your Honour.

- There's no room for the jury. - Nevertheless, they were all accomplices.

ALL: No! No! No!

Silenzio. Silenzio.

Silenzio!

Silenzio!

Bah!

Another outburst like this and I'll have you all thrown out of court.

How does the accused plead? Guilty or not guilty?

TOWNSFOLK: Not guilty!

Silenzio.

Silenzio.

Just one of you speak.

- Who are you? - Who?

Federico Fabrizi, the film director.

Like all of these good people, an innocent bystander.

He is also Aldo Vanucci, an escaped convict.

I object on the grounds that he is trying to discredit a witness.

- Silenzio. - Silenzio.

Silenzio.

Silenzio!

One case at a time. Who's responsible for smuggling in the gold?

That's what I want to know. As a film director, I asked for fake gold.

Some crook used real gold instead. I suspect... I suspect hanky-panky.

(MURMURS OF AGREEMENT)

Your Honour! This man is trying to make a mockery of justice,

as he has done all his life.

He has been nine times in jail.

Five times he has escaped. The law must not be cheated again.

But who is guilty here? This one? That one? All of them?

- We can decide after seeing the evidence. - Evidence? What evidence?

The evidence you have supplied us with...

the film you made in Sevalio, The Gold of Cairo. Lights, please.

Bravo! It's brilliant! Brilliant!

- Who is this man? - Mario Stravoli, the film critic.

It's a work of art, a classic. He's a genius!

What depth, what meaning. I cried...

Out. Get this idiot out.

What truth, what honesty.

It's the greatest film to come out of Italy in 40 years. A primitive genius.

A classic, the man has made a classic!

Now the whole world's gone crazy.

But a crime has been committed against the state and somebody has to pay.

Who is it going to be?

All right, take away everybody but the children and grandmas and grandpas.

Your Honour, I beg you. I plead for mercy.

These people are innocent, all of them.

They've been misguided and misled.

Not for gold nor for riches, but for the weakness of the human spirit.

Should they be punished because they want to feed the hunger of an empty soul?

- Yes. Take them away. - Wait.

If anyone must go to prison, it's me.

For I alone am responsible for this crime.

Because I'm a small crook, I go to prison.

It's only the big crooks that go free. Is that justice?

Justice says that somebody has to pay.

I sentence you, small crook, to five years.

(MURMURING)

I accept it happily,

knowing in my joyous heart...

that a sister will write to her brother every day after school.

That a mother will be protected and cared for by friends.

Hard-working friends.

And that a fine actor has realised that true talent is not diminished by passing years.

But don't you worry about Vanucci.

I will be out of jail April 1st, at three o'clock.

- GUARD: Be careful, Doctor. - Vanucci, planing to escape again, huh?

Yes.

I don't know why you worry. He won't give you no more trouble.

We can't be too careful with that one.

- Arrivederci. See you next month. - Ciao.

(CLOCK STRIKES THREE)

(WEAKLY) Help.

Help.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Imbecile. He's escaped. Vanucci's escaped.

You can't fool us this time.

Let me out. Untie me, fools.

Idiots!

My God, the wrong man has escaped!

(# "AFTER THE FOX" BY BURT BACHARACH)

- SINGERS: # Who is the Fox? - MAN: # I am the Fox

- # Who are you? - # I am me

- # Who is me? - # Me is a thief

# You'll bring your poor, poor mother grief

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Off to the hunt with chains and locks

# So after the Fox

# After the Fox

# Somebody's always chasing

# After the Fox

# After the Fox