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Are you ready?
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00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,800
I know you see me standing here.
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Do I look good, my dear?
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Do I look good today?
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I'm just gonna...
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Oh, man.
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Hey, Quinn, do you think you could fix
our model airplane?
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I could fix a real airplane.
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Let's see here.
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I should be able to boost the voltage to
the engine if I bypass these two
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resistors and connect this wire directly
to the battery compartment.
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That should up the thrust by about 250%.
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the navigational system to give it more
power.
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Have fun.
15
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,640
Give me that thing.
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Oh, and I need you to... One second.
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Until Dean Rivers returns from the
hospital with his nose reconstructed,
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temporarily in charge of PCA will be
Dean Taylor, who's with me now. Dean,
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welcome to PCA, sir.
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Thanks. Glad to be here.
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That's the new Dean.
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Look at him.
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Gorgeous. He's not as good looking as
me.
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His foot's better looking than you.
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Well, we're psyched to have you here.
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Although... We're sorry it's due to the
tragic accident that happened to Dean
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Rivers.
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00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:19,440
And now we go to Brian Straley with the
report on PCA's new cheerleader
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uniforms.
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They're awesome, Jeremiah.
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They are just awesome.
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Oh, my God.
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Did Carl break up with you again?
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I think Carl broke up with her again.
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But we gotta go start our homework.
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I just... I just don't understand guys.
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First they tell you that they love you.
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Then they tell you that you're too
clingy and needy and, man, I'm hungry.
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I mean, I know I can be moody and
bloated and judgmental and I may not pay
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as much as other girls.
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00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,720
the only dinner with candlelight and
music and i wore my special cargo pants
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00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,720
with the little hearts all over you know
what he bought me for a present do you
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00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:09,860
want to know what i got for valentine's
day a pretzel a big old pretzel from the
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00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:16,620
gas station then
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00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:21,700
the seventh time he broke up with me it
was a week before my birthday we got in
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00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:22,960
this huge fight because he said
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His mother's crazy.
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His mother makes baseball caps for dogs.
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What dog wants to walk around with a
rhinestone studded baseball cap?
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No dog I know.
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Five hours.
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Five hours that woman blabbed on and on
about Carl.
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Do not say the name Carl again. I'll
puke.
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00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:49,450
Isn't our dorm advisor supposed to help
us with our problems? That's how it's
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supposed to work.
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00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,890
Let's just go to bed and forget about
it.
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00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:54,270
Good night.
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00:06:55,210 --> 00:06:56,830
Bye, guys. See you in the morning.
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00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:02,910
It's like part of me wants to call him
and try to fix it, but you know, what's
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00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:06,170
the point? Three weeks from now, he's
just going to call me up with more
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00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:08,350
complaints about whatever it's in the
mood to complain about.
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00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:11,130
One thing you can count on, Carl.
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Complaints, complaints, complaints.
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00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:15,430
Hmm. Cookie dough?
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00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:19,770
One Christmas, I go over to his house,
I'm knocking on his door for like five
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00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,890
hours. Who's not home on Christmas?
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00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:23,270
Another thing?
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I just don't understand why they call it
a pair of pants.
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00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,559
Why not?
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Because, man, a pair means two. Like, a
pair of shoes or a pair of gloves.
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Two shoes, two gloves.
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Mm -hmm.
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Why a pair of pants?
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00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:54,760
Because, man, you would sound stupid if
you were like, Hey, man, I love my new
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00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,660
pants. You like my new pants?
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00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,740
Check out my new pants. I think we're
safe.
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Safe from what?
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00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,380
Coco. She won't leave us alone.
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00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,420
We had to listen to her gripe and moan
about her dumb boyfriend for hours.
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It's him!
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00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,360
He's coming!
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00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,540
What's going on? It's the hot new bean!
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What's your policy?
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Black.
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00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,480
Thank you.
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00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:43,220
What I would do is spend ten minutes
just talking to him. Yeah, you and every
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other girl at PCA.
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We could spend a little time with him.
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If we got in trouble.
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00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,530
Did you two start the food fight?
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00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,170
Uh -huh. Yeah, we did.
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We're bad.
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00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:54,590
But see, that's what I don't understand.
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00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:58,410
I've been told that neither one of you
have ever been in trouble at PCA before,
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so why now?
96
00:10:00,570 --> 00:10:04,730
Well, we've always had serious
behavioral issues. They've just been
97
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:08,130
But I still don't understand what... Do
you have a girlfriend?
98
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:12,510
What are you, like, 6 '1"? I don't. What
kind of product do you use in your
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00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:16,600
hair? Product in my hair? Come on, don't
tell us. That's just... I will try.
100
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:17,640
We're not dumb.
101
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,320
Oh, no, we are not.
102
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,860
Um, okay.
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Since this is your first offense, I'm
not going to give you detention.
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00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,000
Do you have a younger brother?
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00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,920
Can I take a swab of your DNA?
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00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,060
I brought a swab.
107
00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:39,780
Look, I know I have flaws and
insecurities and dry skin, but Carl's
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00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:41,020
Mr. Wonderful either.
109
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,440
I mean...
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00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:55,620
Would you show up at my house on
Valentine's Day with a pretzel from a
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station?
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00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,320
We're just teenagers.
113
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And I don't even like pretzels.
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00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,260
You're just a mess.
115
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:06,420
Maybe it's Carl.
116
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:09,760
Gross. It's my mother.
117
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:11,280
What?
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No, he hasn't called me.
119
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,600
That's right, Mom. I'm going to grow old
and die alone.
120
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,790
You have a horrible dorm advisor.
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00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,030
Hello. Hi.
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00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:31,390
Hey. So, uh, how'd your little meeting
go with hot Dean Taylor?
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00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:32,750
Awesome. Excellent.
124
00:11:32,950 --> 00:11:34,190
We found out things.
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00:11:34,470 --> 00:11:37,610
He's from Indiana. Graduated from
Harvard. He's adorable.
126
00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:39,490
And he's single.
127
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,790
Good. Why don't you set him up with
Coco? Get her mind off Carl.
128
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:46,170
Yeah,
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00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:50,690
Dean Taylor and Coco. I would kill to
see that.
130
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,260
Um, we're, uh, we're just kidding.
131
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,160
Dean Taylor and Coco?
132
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,920
No. Yes.
133
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:02,560
Zero chance.
134
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:07,800
Okay, then I guess we can all take turns
listening to Coco go on and on and on
135
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:08,800
about Carl.
136
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,700
I think Dean Taylor and Coco could make
a lovely couple.
137
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,900
Let's make it happen. Let's do that.
138
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,690
Okay, here we go.
139
00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,750
I mean, Taylor, what up?
140
00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:38,809
What's up?
141
00:12:38,810 --> 00:12:42,790
I'm doing all right. How are you guys?
Pretty good. Just chilling. Can't
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00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:43,790
complain.
143
00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:45,990
So, you single?
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00:12:46,670 --> 00:12:49,190
Huh? Not married, no girlfriend.
145
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:50,410
Not dating anyone?
146
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,460
Actually, work keeps me pretty busy. I
don't have time to date much.
147
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:58,080
Well, you know, there are a lot of
available women right here at PCA.
148
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,080
Teachers. Nurses.
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00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,080
Girl dorm advisors.
150
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:04,800
Oh, yeah, like Coco.
151
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:10,460
Coco. Coco sounds like a poodle. Oh, no,
she's much prettier than a poodle.
152
00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:12,880
So, what are your hobbies?
153
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,400
Do a little scuba diving.
154
00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:16,820
That's perfect.
155
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,040
That is so perfect.
156
00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:19,260
Yeah.
157
00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:21,420
This Coco likes to scuba dive, doesn't
she?
158
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:24,820
Well, you know, she likes sushi.
159
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,540
How is sushi like scuba diving?
160
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,880
Well, you know, they're both fish
themed.
161
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,760
Yeah, you know, they're both part of the
aquatic experience.
162
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,300
Right.
163
00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:43,380
Come on, just a little trip. I don't
want to see the new gym floor. Who
164
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,220
Everyone, it's so glossy.
165
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,160
Why would I want to see gym floor? Hey,
it's Chase Michaels.
166
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,100
Oh, well, this is so weird.
167
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:54,800
What? We were just talking about Coco.
168
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,520
Coco, this is Dean Taylor.
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00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,940
Dean Taylor, Coco.
170
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,360
Uh, hi.
171
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:02,720
Dean Taylor?
172
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,680
He was just telling us how he loves
sushi.
173
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,060
Oh, you like sushi?
174
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,780
Yeah, I like sushi.
175
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,120
Perfect. Why don't you take her out for
sushi on Friday night?
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00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:14,980
Friday night?
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00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:16,900
Sushi Rocks is right here on campus.
178
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,420
So what do you say, Dean Taylor?
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00:14:19,409 --> 00:14:22,770
Well, sure, if Coco would like that.
Okay.
180
00:14:24,590 --> 00:14:28,330
Wait, you swear you're going to show up?
Because I've been down that road
181
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:30,610
before, like 4th of July two years ago.
182
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,930
Yeah, we're good. No worries about it.
Yeah, she got it.
183
00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:37,130
4th of July to have a real fun time with
sushi.
184
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:38,590
It's Friday at 8 o 'clock.
185
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:46,550
Okay. You have your sunomono started
here.
186
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:48,950
Sunomono. Your sushi here.
187
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,410
Sushi.
188
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,470
My special tuna.
189
00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:53,850
What makes it special?
190
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:55,930
I told you never to ask me that.
191
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:57,750
It won't happen again.
192
00:14:58,650 --> 00:14:59,650
Okay, Chase.
193
00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:01,190
You are in charge.
194
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:04,510
Try not to burn down my restaurant
again.
195
00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:07,630
Just saying.
196
00:15:07,870 --> 00:15:08,870
Right.
197
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:11,830
Okay, there's more prepared sushi in the
back.
198
00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:13,970
Great. Dude.
199
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,579
Where are the girls?
200
00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:19,000
I just had to set a table, and I am a
guy.
201
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:20,720
There was Coco out there doing her hair.
202
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,400
I hope they got all the bugs out.
203
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,440
Oh, good, the cello player's here.
204
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,980
I thought we were going to have a flute
player, too.
205
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,720
Where'd he go?
206
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,100
Oh, God.
207
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,200
Michael, you play the flute?
208
00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:41,780
Man, I told you he would laugh. I'm
leaving.
209
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,500
Hey, hey, this is important, man.
210
00:15:43,930 --> 00:15:45,210
Now go get ready, you little fluter.
211
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,190
It's flautist, okay?
212
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:48,430
Get it right.
213
00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:49,510
Flautist.
214
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:53,030
Carl. Carl.
215
00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:54,950
Carl. You're not listening.
216
00:15:55,590 --> 00:15:57,130
Well, I don't want to get back together.
217
00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:58,510
You heard me.
218
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:01,650
Hey, hey, hey. Too little, too late. I
have a date tonight.
219
00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:03,489
That's right.
220
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:05,810
I am having sushi with a hot dean.
221
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,580
Look at this. Very impressive.
222
00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,820
Okay, you guys eat, talk.
223
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,200
Enjoy the music.
224
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,420
And if you need us, we'll be right back
there in the kitchen.
225
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,220
Thank you. Thanks a lot.
226
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:33,660
Um, that's a very pretty dress.
227
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:35,420
Thanks.
228
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,940
So, uh, how'd you dump your last
girlfriend?
229
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:39,719
I'm sorry?
230
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,360
I was recently dumped over the phone.
231
00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:42,960
Oh, well.
232
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:45,590
That's not a very nice way to end a
relationship.
233
00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:47,030
You got that right.
234
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,710
He says soup? Oh, yeah, yeah.
235
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,750
I mean, I give the guy four years of my
life, right?
236
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:07,490
I wash his underwear. I fix the toilet.
I pop the pimples he can't reach, and he
237
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:09,930
has the nerve to dump me over the phone?
238
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:11,270
Okay, whatever.
239
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,430
Everything she says is awful.
240
00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:25,410
I got an idea.
241
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:36,050
What'd you tell him?
242
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,430
To listen to Coco, and every time she
starts to say something awful, play
243
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,430
loud.
244
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:44,250
So, I grew up in New Hampshire, but I
was actually born in Kentucky.
245
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,030
I was born in a trailer park.
246
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:55,630
My mother, uh, my mother, my mother
couldn't drive herself to the hospital
247
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:59,230
because her license was suspended and we
didn't have a bathroom in our trailer.
248
00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:05,950
I see, so... So,
249
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:09,250
did you go to high school here at PCA?
250
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,530
Nah, PCA just started letting girls in a
couple years ago.
251
00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:16,410
I went to this rat hole of a high school
in Cleveland right next to a chemical
252
00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:17,410
plant.
253
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:22,700
They had roaches in the cafeteria the
size of, uh... They had roaches in the
254
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,560
cafeteria the size... Hey!
255
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:25,840
Keep it down!
256
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,440
Keep it down!
257
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,880
She got sushi on my flute.
258
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:37,920
Uh,
259
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,040
let's talk about something more
meaningful.
260
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,499
Like what?
261
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,499
Tell me about you.
262
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,780
What makes you tick?
263
00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:48,520
Oh, I... I don't know. I mean, I have my
hopes and dreams like other girls.
264
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,620
Uh -oh, she's getting nervous.
265
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:57,940
So? When Coco gets nervous, she sweats a
lot. It gets bad.
266
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:04,320
Um, I'm sorry. I always feel a little
weird talking about myself in a personal
267
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,320
way.
268
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,680
Man, she's sweating like an animal.
269
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,280
We have to help her.
270
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,940
There's a fan in the kitchen.
271
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:22,829
people person.
272
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,070
I love people.
273
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,810
I'm a Capricorn.
274
00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:30,670
Um, watch Jay Leno.
275
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:38,110
He's one of my favorites. He does this
bit about airline food. He gets me
276
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,370
every time.
277
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:42,250
Is it warm in here?
278
00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:45,690
No, not particularly. Can I get you an
aspirin or something?
279
00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:48,310
No, no, I'm good.
280
00:19:48,650 --> 00:19:50,610
I'll just be one.
281
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,560
One minute.
282
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,780
Help me, I'm soaked in my own sweat.
283
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:01,960
Okay, okay, you guys go get some towels
so she can dry her off. How?
284
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,660
She's got to change clothes.
285
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:07,860
I can't run all the way across campus
and change. I have foot spurs.
286
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,680
Well, okay, you can borrow my clothes. I
wouldn't wear that.
287
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,480
Oh, really? Do you like mine?
288
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:14,780
Yeah, I'd wear that.
289
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,340
Good,
290
00:20:17,780 --> 00:20:20,040
now go in the kitchen, wipe off the
sweat, and switch clothes. Okay.
291
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:44,989
Oh, great.
292
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:47,130
Did you change your clothes?
293
00:20:47,410 --> 00:20:48,410
No, not really.
294
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,910
Please, sit.
295
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:53,810
Sure.
296
00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:03,610
I'll just stand.
297
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,820
I want to know what you're doing out
with another guy. You dumped me. And
298
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:17,360
gives you the right to date other men?
299
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:18,599
Kind of.
300
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,140
Wow. You did great.
301
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,600
You're coming with me.
302
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,480
No. I'm tired of getting dumped every
time your softball team loses.
303
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,380
Do you know what it's like to play on a
softball team that loses the majority of
304
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:31,820
the... Sir, ladies, please leave her
alone. Sir, just... Back off! Hands up.
305
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:37,680
I messed up, Cokes.
306
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,200
I need you.
307
00:21:42,340 --> 00:21:43,340
Take me back?
308
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,820
Carry me to my dorm, cowboy.
309
00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:51,180
I got cookie dough in the mini -fridge.
310
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:54,300
Wow.
311
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:57,820
He is really strong.
312
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:14,360
Now take a little sip.
313
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,320
Girls,
314
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:18,840
really, I'm fine.
315
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,300
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You took a nasty
spill.
316
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,280
Yeah, you shouldn't move for at least 24
hours. You just relax.
317
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:31,300
Hey, get together, everyone.
318
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,100
Now, say Dean.
319
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:36,840
Dean.
320
00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:39,620
That's a cute one.
321
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,600
How... How much farther?
322
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:51,260
About a quarter mile.
323
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,060
Oh, dear God.
23636
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