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I thank you, gentlemen, and this
afternoon's lecture.
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Thank you.
3
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:04,688
Good morning.
4
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:05,388
Good morning.
5
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,390
I'm Max Gelada.
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Dr. Max Gelada?
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That is quite right.
8
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Oh, well, if you'll just wait a moment,
Professor, I'll tell your assistant
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manager that you're here. Thank you.
10
00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:15,730
Do you mind filling out one day's dream,
please? Not at all.
11
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:17,760
Oh, Mr. Cradley?
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Yes, it's great, sir.
13
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Yes, Professor Max Collado has arrived.
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Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir.
15
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This is the manager. We'll be with you
in one moment, sir. Very good.
16
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Are they tart?
17
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,520
I'm sorry?
18
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The girls, are they tart?
19
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Oh, I believe they're students,
Professor. They're here for the
20
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of course. Many of them are here for my
lectures.
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Well, this is a holiday resort. Surely
some of them are lobby girls?
22
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Ah, well, I... Can I help?
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I hope so, sir, because the professor
here has a query.
24
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Well, that's what we're here to answer.
25
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,480
Professor Collada? That's right. I'm
Jasper Gramley, the assistant manager of
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00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,980
the Greenleaf. How do you do? How do you
do? Now, how can I help you, sir?
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00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,000
Well, I simply ask if some of these
girls here were hookers.
28
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,280
Hookers?
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00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,500
What a suggestion.
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00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,320
Why, Professor Collada, the Greenleaf is
just about the most discriminating
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hotel on the island.
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These girls are graduate students, most
of them.
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00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:15,020
I can assure you our security would
allow nothing off -color in the lobby.
34
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:16,950
Really? How depressing.
35
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,510
Now then, we were expecting you
yesterday, Professor.
36
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,410
Yes, I was delayed in Tokyo.
37
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I tried to cable from Moscow airport,
but you know how ludicrously inefficient
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00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:27,930
the Russians are.
39
00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,430
Fifteen, please.
40
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:33,550
Do I have a sweeter room? Why,
Professor, all of our accommodation
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00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:37,910
studio suites, which are made up of a
large living area, a terrace, with a
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jacuzzi -equipped bathroom. Yes, yes, I
understand.
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It's a room.
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00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,980
I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has
got the only problem. I can assure you,
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Professor, there is no favoritism at the
Greenleaf. All of you visiting
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archaeologists will receive the same
high standard of personalized service
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00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,200
ultra -modern but gracious
accommodation.
48
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,320
Why are these called the Virgin Islands?
49
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,020
I have no idea.
50
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,260
Seems a trifle ominous.
51
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,980
I'll have a maid bring up your whiskey,
sir.
52
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:15,180
Are the maids available?
53
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,960
This is a decent hotel, Professor.
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Curly.
55
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,440
I'm sorry.
56
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,500
I apologize.
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00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,540
I guess it's just that I'm feeling a
little bit jumpy, sir. You see, my
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00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,220
returning from Boston tomorrow with our
little girl, and I'm always kind of
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00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,500
nervous when they fly, sir.
60
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,860
Still, Professor, it might save
embarrassment if you would just remember
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this is a conference hotel.
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00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,620
Curly, have this put up in the lobby,
please.
63
00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:42,030
I'll have it attended to, sir. Thank
you.
64
00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:49,510
So, Barnum's arrived, has he? Good
morning, Professor Maddox. Morning.
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He'll turn your lobby into a casino.
Really?
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00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:56,590
The greatest showman in archaeology does
the Mortimer Wheeler stunt.
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00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:01,730
People come up to him with a bit of
pottery of such like, and he says what
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00:04:01,730 --> 00:04:03,450
is, what they are.
69
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,330
Only he does it for money.
70
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:09,390
He bets the customers $100 he'll get it
right. Does he always win?
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00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,550
No, not always.
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00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:16,470
Merely a modest nine times out of ten.
Just enough to make him a small fortune.
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00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:20,310
But I think he does it mainly to impress
the girls.
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00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:22,630
I see. Is there a Mrs. Collada?
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No.
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00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:28,450
He's, shall we say, addicted to variety.
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If Max Collada sees a girl twice, he
thinks the affair's getting stale. You
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00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,890
he's a womanizer, a seducer.
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00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,720
The Casanova de Nojour.
80
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,240
You wanted to see me, Mr. Cranley. I'm
the roommate.
81
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,920
Oh, yes. Aren't you the English girl,
Ellie?
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00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,040
Ellie Somerton. That's it, Miss
Somerton.
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00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:54,320
Are you here on a working vacation, Miss
Somerton? Yes, I am. I need some sun.
84
00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,960
Going to medical school when I get back.
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00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,540
Oh, really? I have a great respect for
doctors.
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00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,100
Would you please take a bottle of single
malt whiskey to room 15?
87
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:04,640
Cool. And you take care now. Yes, Mr.
Cranley.
88
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,020
What do you mean, take care?
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00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,940
Oh, it's nothing to get upset about.
Jeff, would you please put one in each
90
00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:11,919
room, please?
91
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,660
It's just that sometimes some of our
visitors, our gentlemen visitors, they
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00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,680
the wrong idea about our girls if you
take my meaning.
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00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,320
You mean they assume we're cool girls?
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00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:23,360
Oh, no, no, no, no. That's putting
far... Yes, I guess that's it. Oh, it's
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00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,199
happened to me before.
96
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,840
I've had some extraordinary experiences.
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00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,500
Once in a hotel in Grand Rapids... Yes,
yes, yes. We're just running a
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00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,920
conference center here, Miss Somerton.
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00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,380
We don't often encounter these types of
problems.
100
00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,390
But the chap in 15 is an exception.
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00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:38,670
Oh, well, Professor Collada is a very
distinguished archaeologist.
102
00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:43,650
But off the record, he's also some sort
of a Casanova. Seems he's irresistible
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00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:44,970
to some women. That's him there.
104
00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,310
Doesn't look irresistible to me.
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Room service.
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00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,070
Come in. The door is not locked.
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00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,510
Ah, a woman. Just what I need.
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00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,260
Now, just a minute.
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00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,520
To help me unpack.
110
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,040
I'm afraid that's not possible.
111
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,860
I'm only allowed to do room service.
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00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:09,140
I'm the original helpless male.
113
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,140
Observe this scene of primal chaos.
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00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,520
Yeah, it's a bit of a mess.
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00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:13,719
Here.
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00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,720
What's all that for?
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00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:17,820
A tip, of course, but if you could see a
way to lending a hand.
118
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,460
Oh, all right, but not a word to anyone.
119
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,760
Of course not.
120
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:25,540
I'll pour us a drink. Oh, no, you won't.
Very well, I'll pour myself a drink.
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Are you interested in archaeology? Yes.
I don't know much about it. I'm going to
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00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:35,979
be a doctor.
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00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:36,879
Are you now?
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00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,620
Thank you. You seem surprised.
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00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,080
I confess I am. Cheers.
126
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,099
Bummer job.
127
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,600
Going to medical school in October.
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00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,220
Really? Yes. Is that all right?
129
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,320
Well, very ship -shape indeed.
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00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:50,180
Here.
131
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,400
Thank you, sir.
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00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,300
You're a remarkably attractive girl.
133
00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,040
And you're a very accomplished
flatterer. I am indeed.
134
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,680
Perhaps we should have dinner together
and compare notes.
135
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,660
We poor skivvies aren't allowed to dine
with the guests.
136
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:06,900
Pity.
137
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,300
How can we meet again?
138
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,700
Send down for something.
139
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,540
I'll have to bring it up, won't I?
140
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,240
Splendid idea.
141
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,420
Um, that poster of yours in the lobby?
142
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,980
Yes. What does it mean?
143
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:22,720
It means that the fool and his money are
soon parted.
144
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,240
If you want to know how.
145
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,860
Be in the lobby at about ten this
evening.
146
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,840
Hmm.
147
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,580
Irish filigree brooch.
148
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,720
Late 12th century.
149
00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,900
Almost certainly from Connemara.
150
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,120
Must be part of the Templeton Horde. Am
I right?
151
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,800
I happily guess.
152
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,460
Oh, well.
153
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,960
Thank you. Thank you.
154
00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,250
It's Chinese, I'm sure.
155
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:57,650
Yes.
156
00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:02,590
It's a Tang shirt on glazed pottery. Am
I right? Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm afraid
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00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:03,950
not, Professor Kelada.
158
00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:06,630
It is prehistoric Greek.
159
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,150
Greek?
160
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:11,010
Made from Yellow River clay?
161
00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:12,710
Very well.
162
00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:17,170
I'll pay you, but as you know, I have
the right to submit the object to an
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00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:21,250
appropriate authority, and if he or she
supports my judgment...
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00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:24,820
You will then have to decide whether to
return my money, but by then, whatever
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00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,880
you decide, you will be an object of
ridicule, Professor Daxatides.
166
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:32,200
Possibly I have made an error. I brought
several pieces.
167
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,519
Let me see.
168
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,520
Greek.
169
00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:36,179
Yes, of course.
170
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:40,159
This is the Chinese and not the Greek
shirt.
171
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,039
Thank you.
172
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,280
So sorry, Professor.
173
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,640
So sorry, Professor. This is mine.
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00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:45,900
Oh.
175
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,100
Thank you.
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00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,310
Very sinuous.
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00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:57,870
Classic example.
178
00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,550
That's all very well, but what is it?
179
00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:03,590
It's an amulet.
180
00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:05,650
Amerindian.
181
00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,330
Mid -12th century.
182
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,170
Probably from Arizona.
183
00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:12,670
Right? Well, I never thought you'd guess
that.
184
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,030
I was with my daddy when he found it.
185
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:17,810
Oh, Professor Dalton of Veracruz.
186
00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:23,410
Oh, and you must be Angela Dalton. Do
you believe it? That's right.
187
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:30,930
And there goes my fun money. Well, a
girl's fun money is a serious matter.
188
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:36,310
Come here, stand here beside me, and
we'll see if we can think up some
189
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,330
consolation prize.
190
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,340
Is everything all right, Miss Dalton?
191
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:20,240
And so we should never forget, when
challenged by historians, that the
192
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,260
may, and were frequently intended to,
tell lies.
193
00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:31,040
But the artifacts are themselves
crystallized proof.
194
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,360
Very good.
195
00:10:48,769 --> 00:10:49,669
Hello, Mrs.
196
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:51,250
Cranley. How nice to see you.
197
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,490
Hello, Jeff.
198
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,550
Lizzie, what are you doing here? I
thought I'd better come home and check
199
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:57,349
you. What?
200
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,810
I'm teasing. We missed you.
201
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,110
Both of us. But you're not due back till
tomorrow.
202
00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,230
Right. Off I go. No, no, no, no, no.
203
00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:06,410
Uh -huh. Well, at least you'll be a
happy man.
204
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,930
Boy, the bag. Thank you. Let me hold
her.
205
00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:12,650
Telephone call for Professor Smith.
206
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:15,010
Professor Smith to reception, please.
207
00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:16,830
Now, Jasper, whatever's the matter?
208
00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:18,710
Oh, it's nothing.
209
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,870
It's just so great to have you both
back.
210
00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,470
I'm always afraid when you go to the
States that you'll stay there.
211
00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:25,690
Why would I do that?
212
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,270
Because I'm such a dumbo.
213
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:31,490
You're so artistic and educated and from
New England, and I'm from Beatrice,
214
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:36,270
Nebraska. Jasper, you're not a dumbo.
Maybe you're not an intellectual, but I
215
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:40,030
had enough of those in college. I wasn't
very impressed with their human
216
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,610
qualities. You're the kindest, strongest
man I ever met.
217
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:47,630
And I wouldn't have anyone else for a
husband.
218
00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:49,490
Now, come on.
219
00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:54,470
It is time to put up the poster of the
voodoo man.
220
00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:55,710
What?
221
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,830
That's Professor Max Collada.
222
00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,290
You'd better be careful if you bump into
him.
223
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:10,890
I trust you'll have a dervish with me.
The most civilized of all cocktails.
224
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,230
I can't.
225
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:13,850
That's why I ordered two, please.
226
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:17,930
Oh, all right. I've had a hell of a day.
Very good. Sit down.
227
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,130
Only for two minutes?
228
00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,150
Of course.
229
00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,570
May I know your name?
230
00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,230
Ellie. Ellie Somerton.
231
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,450
Cheers, Ellie Somerton.
232
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,930
Cheers. I say, I was very impressed.
233
00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:32,310
Really? What by?
234
00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:33,730
Your amazing performance.
235
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,090
Oh, well. You know, identifying those
things in the lobby.
236
00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:40,310
How can you possibly know so much? Well,
I have a most capacious brain.
237
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:44,130
Can any archaeologist do that? Certainly
not. If they could, they would.
238
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,980
I'm a television star in five countries,
and I make three times as much that way
239
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:50,460
as I do by being a professor.
240
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,680
I'm not surprised.
241
00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,080
You won every single time.
242
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,540
I don't often lose. Still, you mustn't
think I'm just a showman. I'm also the
243
00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:01,020
world's leading authority on the pre
-Columbian era.
244
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,700
Some of those objects were very
beautiful.
245
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,360
That little statue, Etruscan, was it?
246
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,060
Hmm.
247
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,320
That was rather delicate.
248
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,320
Of course.
249
00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,990
Aesthetic considerations are secondary
to an archaeologist.
250
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,390
Wait.
251
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:28,170
I have something here that might
interest you.
252
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,210
It's lovely.
253
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:32,630
What is it?
254
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,130
Well, it's unique.
255
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:36,870
I found that figure in myself in Central
America.
256
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:42,000
It has certain Mayan features, but is
not closely related to any known Mayan
257
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,240
artifact. So it might represent a lost
civilization.
258
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:50,360
Really? Yeah. I see. It's a little awe
-inspiring, isn't it?
259
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,520
Well, I'd like you to have it.
260
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:54,880
You're joking.
261
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:55,819
Not at all.
262
00:13:55,820 --> 00:14:00,420
Lovely things belong to those who
appreciate them. It must be really old
263
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,740
valuable. About 900 years old.
264
00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,740
Its value is...
265
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,150
But it'll always remind you of me.
266
00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:13,550
I see. No, no, please, please. I find
you tremendously attractive, but the
267
00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,470
figurine is yours with no strings
attached.
268
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:20,530
After all, there are quite a few, how
shall I put it, willing dames in the
269
00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:21,690
hotel. Yes.
270
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:26,230
And I should warn you, Mr Cranley's
noticed what you get up to with them.
271
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,230
very cross about it.
272
00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:28,430
I dare say.
273
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,670
Well, Puritans spend half their lives in
a rage.
274
00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:38,930
About the figurine, I ask only one
thing.
275
00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,330
What's that?
276
00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:46,770
Don't ever sell it. I'm bestowing upon
you an object of beauty, not an
277
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,770
investment.
278
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,030
Do you promise?
279
00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,090
Yes, of course.
280
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,390
Thank you.
281
00:15:00,470 --> 00:15:01,830
With a wonderful present.
282
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,160
Cranley, go for a walk. Yes. Mrs.
Cranley.
283
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,720
Mrs. Cranley, hello.
284
00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:23,920
Hello. I'm Max Gelada.
285
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,219
I know.
286
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:29,600
Your husband has been awaiting your
return with scarcely concealed desire.
287
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,519
see why.
288
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:35,200
Yes. Well, we just got back from the
States. Oh, what a lovely little girl.
289
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,340
Nearly as attractive as her mother.
290
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:44,980
Oh, it's clear that motherhood suits
you. Some women find it to be an almost
291
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,480
erotic... Is that how it strikes you?
292
00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:52,240
Well, I... I don't really know. I would
imagine you were a woman with strong
293
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,340
erotic feelings.
294
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:59,420
I've noticed that physical beauty and
voluptuous nature often go together.
295
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:06,160
I have to walk Hannah now. Of course.
But I trust we'll have an opportunity to
296
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,940
probe these mysteries further sometime.
I doubt it. Goodbye.
297
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:11,180
Please. No.
298
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:20,280
Crowley, I'd like to order a bottle of
champagne. What for, Professor? To
299
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,840
celebrate your wife's return. I just
made her acquaintance, and I'd be
300
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,400
if you'd both join me at the cocktail
hour. I'm sorry to have to say this,
301
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,660
Professor, but I do not feel happy for
my wife to be in your presence. What?
302
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,300
I have explained to her how I feel, and
she understands.
303
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:39,340
Crowley, I have no design on your wife.
304
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:40,880
Why not?
305
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:41,980
She's female.
306
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,880
Professor Gulotta, I have a great
respect for your learning. Thank you.
307
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,580
have to tell you that my wife has an
interest in archaeology. Does she? Yes.
308
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:53,160
a student, she went on some digs. Oh.
But after some of the things I've seen,
309
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,400
sir. What exactly have you seen,
Cranley?
310
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,160
Just one example, sir.
311
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,120
Yesterday afternoon, as I happened to be
inspecting the air conditioner in room
312
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:06,900
16, through the open door, I saw
Professor Roday's wife leave your room.
313
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:10,920
know that she's French, sir. Well, as it
happens, Professor Roday has a bad
314
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:15,020
heart and can't leave. love. Do you
expect his wife to live like a nun?
315
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:21,980
She came to my room of her own free
will, and her husband knows that she
316
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:24,160
from the Senate. Too sophisticated for
me, Professor.
317
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,000
All I know is that if you lay a hand on
my wife, I'll hit you on the jaw.
318
00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:33,440
Oh, you Puritans do love hitting people,
don't you? No. I try to avoid violence.
319
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,820
Grandly. Why don't you trust your wife?
320
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:40,400
What? What's that supposed to mean?
Well, you're apparently terrified of my
321
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400
meeting her again.
322
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,439
Not terrified.
323
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,160
I just don't want her to have to repulse
insulting and unwanted advances.
324
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,400
Now, if you'll excuse me, Professor, I
have to phone through an order.
325
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,020
Certainly.
326
00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:53,820
What do you have to order?
327
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,220
A horse whip?
328
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,920
Come in. The door is not locked.
329
00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,180
Where shall I put it?
330
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,540
On the table, please.
331
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,720
Where's the sandwich?
332
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:09,980
What sandwich?
333
00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:11,740
I ordered a smocked salmon sandwich.
334
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,200
I wasn't told. I'll go and get you one.
Oh, no, no, it's not important. I'll
335
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:15,979
tell you what.
336
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,160
In the wardrobe on the shelf, there's a
packet of chocolate chip cookies. Get
337
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,160
them down from me, please.
338
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,300
What happened?
339
00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,340
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
340
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,400
You told me my statuette was unique.
341
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,800
I know.
342
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,920
It was a lie.
343
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,180
You mean it was all nonsense about the
Mayan features and... No, no, that was
344
00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:51,060
quite accurate. It had certain Mayan
attributes. I can swear to that because
345
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,500
designed it myself.
346
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,100
You said it was 900 years old.
347
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,460
Slight exaggeration.
348
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:02,480
It's actually nine years old. Made for
me by an old Peruvian friend who lives
349
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,520
the Andes. Very skillful carver.
350
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,700
These four...
351
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:11,350
are the last of an original batch of
100.
352
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:12,930
100?
353
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,830
What nerve do you want with 100?
354
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:21,090
Well, since you and I seem destined to
have only a platonic relationship, I
355
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,170
might as well come clean.
356
00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:24,670
I give them to girls.
357
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,370
Yes, I'd got that far.
358
00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:29,310
Not to all girls, mind you. Only special
ones.
359
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:34,510
Only the ones I might have married, if I
were the marrying type.
360
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,850
Do you give them to the girls before or
after you've worked your wicked will on
361
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:41,410
them? Always after. Of course after.
362
00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:48,670
It's a keepsake, a parting gift, a
memento, a pledge that perhaps, I don't
363
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:53,870
know where, I don't know when, we might
meet and do it again.
364
00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:55,670
That's very moving.
365
00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:57,550
But you gave me mine before.
366
00:19:57,890 --> 00:19:58,889
I know.
367
00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:02,210
Sheer waste, especially when stocks are
getting so low.
368
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:04,010
But I felt...
369
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,920
You know, that it might... Soften me up?
370
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,760
Put bluntly, yes. You are a despicable
rogue.
371
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,340
Suppose I am, really.
372
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,360
But an ingenious one.
373
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,280
And statuettes may be fakes, but they
are attractive.
374
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,900
A bit like me, perhaps.
375
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,620
Not in the least like you.
376
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:21,839
A little bit.
377
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,300
Well, perhaps a tiny bit.
378
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,060
Ellie, you are rubbishing when you
laugh. Now, don't start that.
379
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,140
I know you're just a con man.
380
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,560
You are. You can't...
381
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:38,050
Possibly think I'd succumb. Knowing what
I'd do.
382
00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:46,630
Apologize and tell her that I'm
attending to it myself.
383
00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:48,010
Yes, thank you.
384
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:52,890
Jeff, number 19's just been on to me
about her rose hip tee. Says she's been
385
00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:54,010
waiting nearly half an hour.
386
00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,230
Uh, 19.
387
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:58,910
That would be Ellie's number. She seems
to have got stuck somewhere. Stuck?
388
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,460
Yeah, she took some teeth in number 15
tonight. 15?
389
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,680
Yeah, that's right. That would be... I
know just who it would be. Leave it with
390
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,559
me, Jeff.
391
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,240
Yeah, but if I could get hold of another
girl... Huh?
392
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,300
Professor, it's Jasper Cranley, the
assistant manager of the hotel. I'd like
393
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,300
word with you, please, sir.
394
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,760
Oh, not him, not him, not him.
395
00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:28,610
I have reason to believe that you have
Ellie Somerton with you, sir.
396
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:29,870
Really?
397
00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,210
What reason?
398
00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:33,550
Don't play games with me, Professor.
399
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:34,810
No, it doesn't matter.
400
00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:36,270
You're right, Mr.
401
00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:37,450
Cranley.
402
00:21:37,550 --> 00:21:38,550
I am here.
403
00:21:38,810 --> 00:21:42,290
This is very sad, Miss Somerton,
especially after my warning. If you felt
404
00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:45,050
were in any danger, all you had to do
was come to me. Don't be silly, Mr.
405
00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,470
Cranley. I'm not in any danger.
406
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:49,290
And as for you, Professor, I shall have
to report you to your superiors.
407
00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:53,950
I have no superiors, and I'm breaking no
law. So if that's all you have to say,
408
00:21:54,030 --> 00:21:56,810
kindly leave us alone. You may not be
breaking any law, Professor, but you're
409
00:21:56,810 --> 00:22:00,310
sure as hell busting our house rules
wide open. So I'd like you to check out
410
00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:01,129
noon tomorrow.
411
00:22:01,130 --> 00:22:04,050
That's not fair, Professor Collage.
That's enough out of you. You're fired.
412
00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:07,650
I'm entitled to a week's pay in lieu of
notice. Oh, you get it. You get it.
413
00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:10,470
You think that's funny? You think that's
funny? Then try this.
414
00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:12,330
You'll get out of my hotel by midnight.
415
00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:17,650
What an extraordinary fellow.
416
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:19,730
He is worse than the Russians.
417
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:24,330
They at least send you a girl, even if
they try to blackmail you afterwards.
418
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,810
Oh, Cranny's so stuffy. Oh, God.
419
00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:30,190
Well, cheers.
420
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:31,650
Cheers.
421
00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:37,930
You've been fired.
422
00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:42,470
Well, you'll have to accept something
now.
423
00:22:42,710 --> 00:22:45,210
Oh, no, honestly, I'm all right. I
promise you this.
424
00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:50,910
No matter how great my need, I'll never
sell my unique mindset.
425
00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:10,310
First century AD, Roman Egyptians, but
not a particularly distinguished
426
00:23:10,710 --> 00:23:11,710
Am I right?
427
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:14,750
Yes. Thank you.
428
00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:19,950
All right, Mr. Know -All, how about this
little number?
429
00:23:21,690 --> 00:23:22,690
Where did you get this?
430
00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:26,730
Is this from... Never mind where I got
it. Do you know what it is?
431
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,510
I know exactly what it is.
432
00:23:29,270 --> 00:23:30,270
It's a fake.
433
00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:31,430
Are you sure, Professor?
434
00:23:31,650 --> 00:23:33,310
I'm not only sure, I can prove it.
435
00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:34,590
Can you now?
436
00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:38,810
Well, that's very interesting to me,
considering that my wife dug it up for
437
00:23:38,810 --> 00:23:39,810
herself.
438
00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:41,890
What? Yes.
439
00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:45,090
When she was a student and went on some
archaeological digs.
440
00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:48,400
That statue has been sitting on our
aunt's table ever since we got married.
441
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,800
Would you like to up the stakes a little
bit on this one, Professor?
442
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,100
Shall we say $500?
443
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,820
Did you say your wife dug this up?
444
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,780
Yes. Come on, Lizzie.
445
00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,119
Don't be frightened.
446
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,760
Tell this wise guy where you got this
thing.
447
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,220
Come on, darling. Tell him what this is.
448
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,920
It's Central American. It shows Mayan
influence. It's about 900 years old.
449
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680
There. You still think it's a fake,
Professor?
450
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,280
Let me see.
451
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:20,280
Did you find it six years ago at
Yucatan?
452
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,240
Yes. I remember.
453
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,680
That is, I remember reading about that
excavation.
454
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,860
Well, let me see.
455
00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:34,940
Oh, I was wrong.
456
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,240
It's genuine.
457
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:43,780
Well, win a lot, lose a few. Here's your
$100, Granady.
458
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,500
Thank you, Professor.
459
00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:50,520
No man is infallible.
460
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,120
Thank you, darling.
461
00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:53,620
Now come along, we've made our point.
462
00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:11,180
Well, this is a well -preserved item. A
belt buckle, I believe.
463
00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:13,380
Second century Roman.
36519
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