All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s09e10_mr_know-all

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,470 I thank you, gentlemen, and this afternoon's lecture. 2 00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:52,770 Thank you. 3 00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:04,688 Good morning. 4 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:05,388 Good morning. 5 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,390 I'm Max Gelada. 6 00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:08,130 Dr. Max Gelada? 7 00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:09,330 That is quite right. 8 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,570 Oh, well, if you'll just wait a moment, Professor, I'll tell your assistant 9 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,050 manager that you're here. Thank you. 10 00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:15,730 Do you mind filling out one day's dream, please? Not at all. 11 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:17,760 Oh, Mr. Cradley? 12 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,140 Yes, it's great, sir. 13 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,720 Yes, Professor Max Collado has arrived. 14 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,240 Yes, sir, I'll do that right away, sir. 15 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:27,920 This is the manager. We'll be with you in one moment, sir. Very good. 16 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:29,700 Are they tart? 17 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,520 I'm sorry? 18 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,160 The girls, are they tart? 19 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,700 Oh, I believe they're students, Professor. They're here for the 20 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,880 of course. Many of them are here for my lectures. 21 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:43,240 Well, this is a holiday resort. Surely some of them are lobby girls? 22 00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:45,860 Ah, well, I... Can I help? 23 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,840 I hope so, sir, because the professor here has a query. 24 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,380 Well, that's what we're here to answer. 25 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,480 Professor Collada? That's right. I'm Jasper Gramley, the assistant manager of 26 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,980 the Greenleaf. How do you do? How do you do? Now, how can I help you, sir? 27 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,000 Well, I simply ask if some of these girls here were hookers. 28 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,280 Hookers? 29 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,500 What a suggestion. 30 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,320 Why, Professor Collada, the Greenleaf is just about the most discriminating 31 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,320 hotel on the island. 32 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,960 These girls are graduate students, most of them. 33 00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:15,020 I can assure you our security would allow nothing off -color in the lobby. 34 00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:16,950 Really? How depressing. 35 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,510 Now then, we were expecting you yesterday, Professor. 36 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,410 Yes, I was delayed in Tokyo. 37 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,850 I tried to cable from Moscow airport, but you know how ludicrously inefficient 38 00:02:26,850 --> 00:02:27,930 the Russians are. 39 00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,430 Fifteen, please. 40 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:33,550 Do I have a sweeter room? Why, Professor, all of our accommodation 41 00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:37,910 studio suites, which are made up of a large living area, a terrace, with a 42 00:02:37,910 --> 00:02:40,250 jacuzzi -equipped bathroom. Yes, yes, I understand. 43 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,130 It's a room. 44 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,980 I suppose Professor Medox of Yale has got the only problem. I can assure you, 45 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,820 Professor, there is no favoritism at the Greenleaf. All of you visiting 46 00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:55,080 archaeologists will receive the same high standard of personalized service 47 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,200 ultra -modern but gracious accommodation. 48 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,320 Why are these called the Virgin Islands? 49 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,020 I have no idea. 50 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,260 Seems a trifle ominous. 51 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,980 I'll have a maid bring up your whiskey, sir. 52 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:15,180 Are the maids available? 53 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:18,960 This is a decent hotel, Professor. 54 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:20,260 Curly. 55 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,440 I'm sorry. 56 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:22,500 I apologize. 57 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,540 I guess it's just that I'm feeling a little bit jumpy, sir. You see, my 58 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,220 returning from Boston tomorrow with our little girl, and I'm always kind of 59 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,500 nervous when they fly, sir. 60 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,860 Still, Professor, it might save embarrassment if you would just remember 61 00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:36,880 this is a conference hotel. 62 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,620 Curly, have this put up in the lobby, please. 63 00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:42,030 I'll have it attended to, sir. Thank you. 64 00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:49,510 So, Barnum's arrived, has he? Good morning, Professor Maddox. Morning. 65 00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:51,990 He'll turn your lobby into a casino. Really? 66 00:03:52,630 --> 00:03:56,590 The greatest showman in archaeology does the Mortimer Wheeler stunt. 67 00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:01,730 People come up to him with a bit of pottery of such like, and he says what 68 00:04:01,730 --> 00:04:03,450 is, what they are. 69 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,330 Only he does it for money. 70 00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:09,390 He bets the customers $100 he'll get it right. Does he always win? 71 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,550 No, not always. 72 00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:16,470 Merely a modest nine times out of ten. Just enough to make him a small fortune. 73 00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:20,310 But I think he does it mainly to impress the girls. 74 00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:22,630 I see. Is there a Mrs. Collada? 75 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:23,970 No. 76 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:28,450 He's, shall we say, addicted to variety. 77 00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:34,010 If Max Collada sees a girl twice, he thinks the affair's getting stale. You 78 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,890 he's a womanizer, a seducer. 79 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,720 The Casanova de Nojour. 80 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,240 You wanted to see me, Mr. Cranley. I'm the roommate. 81 00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,920 Oh, yes. Aren't you the English girl, Ellie? 82 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,040 Ellie Somerton. That's it, Miss Somerton. 83 00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:54,320 Are you here on a working vacation, Miss Somerton? Yes, I am. I need some sun. 84 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,960 Going to medical school when I get back. 85 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,540 Oh, really? I have a great respect for doctors. 86 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,100 Would you please take a bottle of single malt whiskey to room 15? 87 00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:04,640 Cool. And you take care now. Yes, Mr. Cranley. 88 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,020 What do you mean, take care? 89 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,940 Oh, it's nothing to get upset about. Jeff, would you please put one in each 90 00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:11,919 room, please? 91 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,660 It's just that sometimes some of our visitors, our gentlemen visitors, they 92 00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:17,680 the wrong idea about our girls if you take my meaning. 93 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,320 You mean they assume we're cool girls? 94 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:23,360 Oh, no, no, no, no. That's putting far... Yes, I guess that's it. Oh, it's 95 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,199 happened to me before. 96 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,840 I've had some extraordinary experiences. 97 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,500 Once in a hotel in Grand Rapids... Yes, yes, yes. We're just running a 98 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,920 conference center here, Miss Somerton. 99 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,380 We don't often encounter these types of problems. 100 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,390 But the chap in 15 is an exception. 101 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:38,670 Oh, well, Professor Collada is a very distinguished archaeologist. 102 00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:43,650 But off the record, he's also some sort of a Casanova. Seems he's irresistible 103 00:05:43,650 --> 00:05:44,970 to some women. That's him there. 104 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,310 Doesn't look irresistible to me. 105 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:53,650 Room service. 106 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,070 Come in. The door is not locked. 107 00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,510 Ah, a woman. Just what I need. 108 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,260 Now, just a minute. 109 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,520 To help me unpack. 110 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,040 I'm afraid that's not possible. 111 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,860 I'm only allowed to do room service. 112 00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:09,140 I'm the original helpless male. 113 00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,140 Observe this scene of primal chaos. 114 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,520 Yeah, it's a bit of a mess. 115 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:13,719 Here. 116 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,720 What's all that for? 117 00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:17,820 A tip, of course, but if you could see a way to lending a hand. 118 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,460 Oh, all right, but not a word to anyone. 119 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,760 Of course not. 120 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:25,540 I'll pour us a drink. Oh, no, you won't. Very well, I'll pour myself a drink. 121 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:35,340 Are you interested in archaeology? Yes. I don't know much about it. I'm going to 122 00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:35,979 be a doctor. 123 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:36,879 Are you now? 124 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:38,620 Thank you. You seem surprised. 125 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,080 I confess I am. Cheers. 126 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,099 Bummer job. 127 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,600 Going to medical school in October. 128 00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,220 Really? Yes. Is that all right? 129 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,320 Well, very ship -shape indeed. 130 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:50,180 Here. 131 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,400 Thank you, sir. 132 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,300 You're a remarkably attractive girl. 133 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,040 And you're a very accomplished flatterer. I am indeed. 134 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,680 Perhaps we should have dinner together and compare notes. 135 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,660 We poor skivvies aren't allowed to dine with the guests. 136 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:06,900 Pity. 137 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,300 How can we meet again? 138 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,700 Send down for something. 139 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,540 I'll have to bring it up, won't I? 140 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,240 Splendid idea. 141 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,420 Um, that poster of yours in the lobby? 142 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,980 Yes. What does it mean? 143 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:22,720 It means that the fool and his money are soon parted. 144 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,240 If you want to know how. 145 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:26,860 Be in the lobby at about ten this evening. 146 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,840 Hmm. 147 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,580 Irish filigree brooch. 148 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,720 Late 12th century. 149 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,900 Almost certainly from Connemara. 150 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,120 Must be part of the Templeton Horde. Am I right? 151 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,800 I happily guess. 152 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,460 Oh, well. 153 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,960 Thank you. Thank you. 154 00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,250 It's Chinese, I'm sure. 155 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:57,650 Yes. 156 00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:02,590 It's a Tang shirt on glazed pottery. Am I right? Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm afraid 157 00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:03,950 not, Professor Kelada. 158 00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:06,630 It is prehistoric Greek. 159 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,150 Greek? 160 00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:11,010 Made from Yellow River clay? 161 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:12,710 Very well. 162 00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:17,170 I'll pay you, but as you know, I have the right to submit the object to an 163 00:08:17,170 --> 00:08:21,250 appropriate authority, and if he or she supports my judgment... 164 00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:24,820 You will then have to decide whether to return my money, but by then, whatever 165 00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,880 you decide, you will be an object of ridicule, Professor Daxatides. 166 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:32,200 Possibly I have made an error. I brought several pieces. 167 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,519 Let me see. 168 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,520 Greek. 169 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:36,179 Yes, of course. 170 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:40,159 This is the Chinese and not the Greek shirt. 171 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,039 Thank you. 172 00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,280 So sorry, Professor. 173 00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:44,640 So sorry, Professor. This is mine. 174 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:45,900 Oh. 175 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,100 Thank you. 176 00:08:55,310 --> 00:08:56,310 Very sinuous. 177 00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:57,870 Classic example. 178 00:08:59,650 --> 00:09:01,550 That's all very well, but what is it? 179 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:03,590 It's an amulet. 180 00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:05,650 Amerindian. 181 00:09:06,010 --> 00:09:07,330 Mid -12th century. 182 00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,170 Probably from Arizona. 183 00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:12,670 Right? Well, I never thought you'd guess that. 184 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,030 I was with my daddy when he found it. 185 00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:17,810 Oh, Professor Dalton of Veracruz. 186 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:23,410 Oh, and you must be Angela Dalton. Do you believe it? That's right. 187 00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:30,930 And there goes my fun money. Well, a girl's fun money is a serious matter. 188 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:36,310 Come here, stand here beside me, and we'll see if we can think up some 189 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,330 consolation prize. 190 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,340 Is everything all right, Miss Dalton? 191 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:20,240 And so we should never forget, when challenged by historians, that the 192 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,260 may, and were frequently intended to, tell lies. 193 00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:31,040 But the artifacts are themselves crystallized proof. 194 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,360 Very good. 195 00:10:48,769 --> 00:10:49,669 Hello, Mrs. 196 00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:51,250 Cranley. How nice to see you. 197 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,490 Hello, Jeff. 198 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,550 Lizzie, what are you doing here? I thought I'd better come home and check 199 00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:57,349 you. What? 200 00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,810 I'm teasing. We missed you. 201 00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:01,110 Both of us. But you're not due back till tomorrow. 202 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:03,230 Right. Off I go. No, no, no, no, no. 203 00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:06,410 Uh -huh. Well, at least you'll be a happy man. 204 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,930 Boy, the bag. Thank you. Let me hold her. 205 00:11:10,990 --> 00:11:12,650 Telephone call for Professor Smith. 206 00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:15,010 Professor Smith to reception, please. 207 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:16,830 Now, Jasper, whatever's the matter? 208 00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:18,710 Oh, it's nothing. 209 00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,870 It's just so great to have you both back. 210 00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,470 I'm always afraid when you go to the States that you'll stay there. 211 00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:25,690 Why would I do that? 212 00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,270 Because I'm such a dumbo. 213 00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:31,490 You're so artistic and educated and from New England, and I'm from Beatrice, 214 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:36,270 Nebraska. Jasper, you're not a dumbo. Maybe you're not an intellectual, but I 215 00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:40,030 had enough of those in college. I wasn't very impressed with their human 216 00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,610 qualities. You're the kindest, strongest man I ever met. 217 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:47,630 And I wouldn't have anyone else for a husband. 218 00:11:48,110 --> 00:11:49,490 Now, come on. 219 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:54,470 It is time to put up the poster of the voodoo man. 220 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:55,710 What? 221 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,830 That's Professor Max Collada. 222 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,290 You'd better be careful if you bump into him. 223 00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:10,890 I trust you'll have a dervish with me. The most civilized of all cocktails. 224 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,230 I can't. 225 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:13,850 That's why I ordered two, please. 226 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:17,930 Oh, all right. I've had a hell of a day. Very good. Sit down. 227 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,130 Only for two minutes? 228 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,150 Of course. 229 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,570 May I know your name? 230 00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,230 Ellie. Ellie Somerton. 231 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,450 Cheers, Ellie Somerton. 232 00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,930 Cheers. I say, I was very impressed. 233 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:32,310 Really? What by? 234 00:12:32,570 --> 00:12:33,730 Your amazing performance. 235 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,090 Oh, well. You know, identifying those things in the lobby. 236 00:12:36,430 --> 00:12:40,310 How can you possibly know so much? Well, I have a most capacious brain. 237 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:44,130 Can any archaeologist do that? Certainly not. If they could, they would. 238 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,980 I'm a television star in five countries, and I make three times as much that way 239 00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:50,460 as I do by being a professor. 240 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,680 I'm not surprised. 241 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,080 You won every single time. 242 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:57,540 I don't often lose. Still, you mustn't think I'm just a showman. I'm also the 243 00:12:57,540 --> 00:13:01,020 world's leading authority on the pre -Columbian era. 244 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,700 Some of those objects were very beautiful. 245 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,360 That little statue, Etruscan, was it? 246 00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,060 Hmm. 247 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,320 That was rather delicate. 248 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,320 Of course. 249 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,990 Aesthetic considerations are secondary to an archaeologist. 250 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,390 Wait. 251 00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:28,170 I have something here that might interest you. 252 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,210 It's lovely. 253 00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:32,630 What is it? 254 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,130 Well, it's unique. 255 00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:36,870 I found that figure in myself in Central America. 256 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:42,000 It has certain Mayan features, but is not closely related to any known Mayan 257 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,240 artifact. So it might represent a lost civilization. 258 00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:50,360 Really? Yeah. I see. It's a little awe -inspiring, isn't it? 259 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,520 Well, I'd like you to have it. 260 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:54,880 You're joking. 261 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:55,819 Not at all. 262 00:13:55,820 --> 00:14:00,420 Lovely things belong to those who appreciate them. It must be really old 263 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,740 valuable. About 900 years old. 264 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,740 Its value is... 265 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,150 But it'll always remind you of me. 266 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:13,550 I see. No, no, please, please. I find you tremendously attractive, but the 267 00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,470 figurine is yours with no strings attached. 268 00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:20,530 After all, there are quite a few, how shall I put it, willing dames in the 269 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:21,690 hotel. Yes. 270 00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:26,230 And I should warn you, Mr Cranley's noticed what you get up to with them. 271 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,230 very cross about it. 272 00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:28,430 I dare say. 273 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,670 Well, Puritans spend half their lives in a rage. 274 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:38,930 About the figurine, I ask only one thing. 275 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,330 What's that? 276 00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:46,770 Don't ever sell it. I'm bestowing upon you an object of beauty, not an 277 00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:47,770 investment. 278 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,030 Do you promise? 279 00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,090 Yes, of course. 280 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,390 Thank you. 281 00:15:00,470 --> 00:15:01,830 With a wonderful present. 282 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,160 Cranley, go for a walk. Yes. Mrs. Cranley. 283 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,720 Mrs. Cranley, hello. 284 00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:23,920 Hello. I'm Max Gelada. 285 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,219 I know. 286 00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:29,600 Your husband has been awaiting your return with scarcely concealed desire. 287 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,519 see why. 288 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:35,200 Yes. Well, we just got back from the States. Oh, what a lovely little girl. 289 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,340 Nearly as attractive as her mother. 290 00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:44,980 Oh, it's clear that motherhood suits you. Some women find it to be an almost 291 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:47,480 erotic... Is that how it strikes you? 292 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:52,240 Well, I... I don't really know. I would imagine you were a woman with strong 293 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,340 erotic feelings. 294 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:59,420 I've noticed that physical beauty and voluptuous nature often go together. 295 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:06,160 I have to walk Hannah now. Of course. But I trust we'll have an opportunity to 296 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,940 probe these mysteries further sometime. I doubt it. Goodbye. 297 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:11,180 Please. No. 298 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:20,280 Crowley, I'd like to order a bottle of champagne. What for, Professor? To 299 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,840 celebrate your wife's return. I just made her acquaintance, and I'd be 300 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:27,400 if you'd both join me at the cocktail hour. I'm sorry to have to say this, 301 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,660 Professor, but I do not feel happy for my wife to be in your presence. What? 302 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,300 I have explained to her how I feel, and she understands. 303 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:39,340 Crowley, I have no design on your wife. 304 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:40,880 Why not? 305 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:41,980 She's female. 306 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,880 Professor Gulotta, I have a great respect for your learning. Thank you. 307 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,580 have to tell you that my wife has an interest in archaeology. Does she? Yes. 308 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:53,160 a student, she went on some digs. Oh. But after some of the things I've seen, 309 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,400 sir. What exactly have you seen, Cranley? 310 00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,160 Just one example, sir. 311 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,120 Yesterday afternoon, as I happened to be inspecting the air conditioner in room 312 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:06,900 16, through the open door, I saw Professor Roday's wife leave your room. 313 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:10,920 know that she's French, sir. Well, as it happens, Professor Roday has a bad 314 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:15,020 heart and can't leave. love. Do you expect his wife to live like a nun? 315 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:21,980 She came to my room of her own free will, and her husband knows that she 316 00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:24,160 from the Senate. Too sophisticated for me, Professor. 317 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,000 All I know is that if you lay a hand on my wife, I'll hit you on the jaw. 318 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:33,440 Oh, you Puritans do love hitting people, don't you? No. I try to avoid violence. 319 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,820 Grandly. Why don't you trust your wife? 320 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:40,400 What? What's that supposed to mean? Well, you're apparently terrified of my 321 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400 meeting her again. 322 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,439 Not terrified. 323 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:46,160 I just don't want her to have to repulse insulting and unwanted advances. 324 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,400 Now, if you'll excuse me, Professor, I have to phone through an order. 325 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,020 Certainly. 326 00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:53,820 What do you have to order? 327 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,220 A horse whip? 328 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,920 Come in. The door is not locked. 329 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,180 Where shall I put it? 330 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,540 On the table, please. 331 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,720 Where's the sandwich? 332 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:09,980 What sandwich? 333 00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:11,740 I ordered a smocked salmon sandwich. 334 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,200 I wasn't told. I'll go and get you one. Oh, no, no, it's not important. I'll 335 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:15,979 tell you what. 336 00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,160 In the wardrobe on the shelf, there's a packet of chocolate chip cookies. Get 337 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,160 them down from me, please. 338 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,300 What happened? 339 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,340 Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. 340 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,400 You told me my statuette was unique. 341 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:40,800 I know. 342 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,920 It was a lie. 343 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,180 You mean it was all nonsense about the Mayan features and... No, no, that was 344 00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:51,060 quite accurate. It had certain Mayan attributes. I can swear to that because 345 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,500 designed it myself. 346 00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,100 You said it was 900 years old. 347 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,460 Slight exaggeration. 348 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:02,480 It's actually nine years old. Made for me by an old Peruvian friend who lives 349 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,520 the Andes. Very skillful carver. 350 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,700 These four... 351 00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:11,350 are the last of an original batch of 100. 352 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:12,930 100? 353 00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,830 What nerve do you want with 100? 354 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:21,090 Well, since you and I seem destined to have only a platonic relationship, I 355 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,170 might as well come clean. 356 00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:24,670 I give them to girls. 357 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,370 Yes, I'd got that far. 358 00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:29,310 Not to all girls, mind you. Only special ones. 359 00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:34,510 Only the ones I might have married, if I were the marrying type. 360 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,850 Do you give them to the girls before or after you've worked your wicked will on 361 00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:41,410 them? Always after. Of course after. 362 00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:48,670 It's a keepsake, a parting gift, a memento, a pledge that perhaps, I don't 363 00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:53,870 know where, I don't know when, we might meet and do it again. 364 00:19:54,390 --> 00:19:55,670 That's very moving. 365 00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:57,550 But you gave me mine before. 366 00:19:57,890 --> 00:19:58,889 I know. 367 00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:02,210 Sheer waste, especially when stocks are getting so low. 368 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:04,010 But I felt... 369 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,920 You know, that it might... Soften me up? 370 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,760 Put bluntly, yes. You are a despicable rogue. 371 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,340 Suppose I am, really. 372 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,360 But an ingenious one. 373 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,280 And statuettes may be fakes, but they are attractive. 374 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:18,900 A bit like me, perhaps. 375 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,620 Not in the least like you. 376 00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:21,839 A little bit. 377 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,300 Well, perhaps a tiny bit. 378 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,060 Ellie, you are rubbishing when you laugh. Now, don't start that. 379 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,140 I know you're just a con man. 380 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,560 You are. You can't... 381 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:38,050 Possibly think I'd succumb. Knowing what I'd do. 382 00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:46,630 Apologize and tell her that I'm attending to it myself. 383 00:20:47,010 --> 00:20:48,010 Yes, thank you. 384 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:52,890 Jeff, number 19's just been on to me about her rose hip tee. Says she's been 385 00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:54,010 waiting nearly half an hour. 386 00:20:54,230 --> 00:20:55,230 Uh, 19. 387 00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:58,910 That would be Ellie's number. She seems to have got stuck somewhere. Stuck? 388 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,460 Yeah, she took some teeth in number 15 tonight. 15? 389 00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:04,680 Yeah, that's right. That would be... I know just who it would be. Leave it with 390 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,559 me, Jeff. 391 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:09,240 Yeah, but if I could get hold of another girl... Huh? 392 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,300 Professor, it's Jasper Cranley, the assistant manager of the hotel. I'd like 393 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,300 word with you, please, sir. 394 00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,760 Oh, not him, not him, not him. 395 00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:28,610 I have reason to believe that you have Ellie Somerton with you, sir. 396 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:29,870 Really? 397 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,210 What reason? 398 00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:33,550 Don't play games with me, Professor. 399 00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:34,810 No, it doesn't matter. 400 00:21:35,270 --> 00:21:36,270 You're right, Mr. 401 00:21:36,450 --> 00:21:37,450 Cranley. 402 00:21:37,550 --> 00:21:38,550 I am here. 403 00:21:38,810 --> 00:21:42,290 This is very sad, Miss Somerton, especially after my warning. If you felt 404 00:21:42,290 --> 00:21:45,050 were in any danger, all you had to do was come to me. Don't be silly, Mr. 405 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,470 Cranley. I'm not in any danger. 406 00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:49,290 And as for you, Professor, I shall have to report you to your superiors. 407 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:53,950 I have no superiors, and I'm breaking no law. So if that's all you have to say, 408 00:21:54,030 --> 00:21:56,810 kindly leave us alone. You may not be breaking any law, Professor, but you're 409 00:21:56,810 --> 00:22:00,310 sure as hell busting our house rules wide open. So I'd like you to check out 410 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:01,129 noon tomorrow. 411 00:22:01,130 --> 00:22:04,050 That's not fair, Professor Collage. That's enough out of you. You're fired. 412 00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:07,650 I'm entitled to a week's pay in lieu of notice. Oh, you get it. You get it. 413 00:22:07,970 --> 00:22:10,470 You think that's funny? You think that's funny? Then try this. 414 00:22:10,850 --> 00:22:12,330 You'll get out of my hotel by midnight. 415 00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:17,650 What an extraordinary fellow. 416 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:19,730 He is worse than the Russians. 417 00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:24,330 They at least send you a girl, even if they try to blackmail you afterwards. 418 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,810 Oh, Cranny's so stuffy. Oh, God. 419 00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:30,190 Well, cheers. 420 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:31,650 Cheers. 421 00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:37,930 You've been fired. 422 00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:42,470 Well, you'll have to accept something now. 423 00:22:42,710 --> 00:22:45,210 Oh, no, honestly, I'm all right. I promise you this. 424 00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:50,910 No matter how great my need, I'll never sell my unique mindset. 425 00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:10,310 First century AD, Roman Egyptians, but not a particularly distinguished 426 00:23:10,710 --> 00:23:11,710 Am I right? 427 00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:14,750 Yes. Thank you. 428 00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:19,950 All right, Mr. Know -All, how about this little number? 429 00:23:21,690 --> 00:23:22,690 Where did you get this? 430 00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:26,730 Is this from... Never mind where I got it. Do you know what it is? 431 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,510 I know exactly what it is. 432 00:23:29,270 --> 00:23:30,270 It's a fake. 433 00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:31,430 Are you sure, Professor? 434 00:23:31,650 --> 00:23:33,310 I'm not only sure, I can prove it. 435 00:23:33,590 --> 00:23:34,590 Can you now? 436 00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:38,810 Well, that's very interesting to me, considering that my wife dug it up for 437 00:23:38,810 --> 00:23:39,810 herself. 438 00:23:40,850 --> 00:23:41,890 What? Yes. 439 00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:45,090 When she was a student and went on some archaeological digs. 440 00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:48,400 That statue has been sitting on our aunt's table ever since we got married. 441 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,800 Would you like to up the stakes a little bit on this one, Professor? 442 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,100 Shall we say $500? 443 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,820 Did you say your wife dug this up? 444 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,780 Yes. Come on, Lizzie. 445 00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,119 Don't be frightened. 446 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,760 Tell this wise guy where you got this thing. 447 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,220 Come on, darling. Tell him what this is. 448 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,920 It's Central American. It shows Mayan influence. It's about 900 years old. 449 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,680 There. You still think it's a fake, Professor? 450 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,280 Let me see. 451 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:20,280 Did you find it six years ago at Yucatan? 452 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:24,240 Yes. I remember. 453 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,680 That is, I remember reading about that excavation. 454 00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:31,860 Well, let me see. 455 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:34,940 Oh, I was wrong. 456 00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,240 It's genuine. 457 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:43,780 Well, win a lot, lose a few. Here's your $100, Granady. 458 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,500 Thank you, Professor. 459 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:50,520 No man is infallible. 460 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,120 Thank you, darling. 461 00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:53,620 Now come along, we've made our point. 462 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:11,180 Well, this is a well -preserved item. A belt buckle, I believe. 463 00:25:11,940 --> 00:25:13,380 Second century Roman. 36519

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.