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1
00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:39,090
Do you not shift me eyes? Do you not
shift me eyes?
2
00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:41,090
So do you, pal.
3
00:02:17,649 --> 00:02:18,649
Charlie.
4
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:24,830
Charlie dropped by and brought me the
most beautiful wild orchids. Look at
5
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,150
Well, did she offer you a drink?
6
00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,130
Oh, she did. How about a cigar?
7
00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,810
Yeah, I got one of those, too.
8
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:32,930
Well, you don't sit there, huh?
9
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,920
Except that I've got to go to work.
10
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,120
Oh.
11
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:41,420
Thank you for your hospitality, ma 'am.
Well, you're our most welcome kind, sir.
12
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,640
Good of you to stop by, Charlie.
13
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:44,980
Keep heading to company.
14
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,060
Well, I thought at least I could be
better company than that dumb carrot.
15
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:50,380
Here you go, Shifty Eyes.
16
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,500
Here you go, Shifty Eyes.
17
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,180
Is that all he ever says?
18
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:54,520
Of course not.
19
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:55,700
Tom, Tom.
20
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,420
Santa Yama, Belgrade, Sophia, Blumfield,
Middlestonville, all aboard.
21
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:00,980
What's that supposed to mean?
22
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:05,220
It took us a while to figure it out, but
we finally decided it's the last five
23
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:08,360
stops on the old Orient Express heading
east.
24
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,500
Where do you suppose he ever learned
that?
25
00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:14,080
Traveling very strange old man.
26
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,260
You've got to catch yourself one weird
bird.
27
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,300
You've got shifty eyes.
28
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,620
Shifty eyes.
29
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,340
Belgrade, Sofia, Plovdiv, and Estobul.
All aboard!
30
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:34,900
Something broke in here.
31
00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:50,970
It was one of those cats, wasn't it? One
of those damn cats.
32
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,060
seen what our bird has been doing.
33
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,420
Looks like he's building a nest to me.
34
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,600
Drink, Charlie? Got one.
35
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:34,900
Cigar?
36
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,700
Almost there. Stay for dinner.
37
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,600
Oh, we can't. I have to go to work.
38
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:39,860
Oh, good.
39
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:43,940
Forgot. I asked Charlie to drop by,
darling, so that he could give us some
40
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,060
advice about Tom.
41
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,940
No. You better start calling him
Tomasina, good buddy.
42
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,460
That's what you got out there is a
female parrot.
43
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,040
You're a parrot expert now, Charlie?
44
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:58,220
No, but I can tell a male from a female
in pretty near every creature God ever
45
00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:02,380
made. And what you've got out there
right now is a female parrot that's
46
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:03,319
to raise a family.
47
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:07,180
I was so relieved when he told me. I
thought poor Tom was going crazy. He,
48
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,960
wouldn't talk and just kept putting all
these little pieces of paper and sticks
49
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,220
together the whole time she was building
a nest. Isn't that exciting?
50
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,780
Very. Yeah, I wonder who the daddy is.
51
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,430
Come quickly. Why? It's Tommy. Come.
52
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:38,870
Percival.
53
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:46,730
Are you all right?
54
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:14,930
Are you serious?
55
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,390
Well, that's cruel.
56
00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:21,650
I know. We could incubate it and make it
hatch.
57
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:24,970
We don't know anything about hatching
parrot eggs.
58
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:28,350
I'll call Charlie. He knows about things
like that.
59
00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:29,590
He'll know what to do.
60
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:30,689
Yeah.
61
00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:31,850
It's a good idea you do that.
62
00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:33,310
Call Charlie.
63
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:35,490
Well, where are you going?
64
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:39,010
Get a shovel to dig the grave to bury
Tom. Unless you want Charlie to do that,
65
00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:43,310
too. Oh, don't be that way, Jack. I told
you Charlie is completely harmless.
66
00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:44,850
Is he?
67
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:51,150
Look, I... Oh, Don.
68
00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:59,070
It won't be that way again.
69
00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,070
Not like in Mexico.
70
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:38,310
Charlie's going away, darling.
71
00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:40,350
Yeah, they want me back at headquarters.
72
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:42,670
Telex just came in.
73
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,470
I'm gonna be gone about six weeks.
74
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,370
I brought this over to hatch your egg
in.
75
00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:48,950
Who told you about the egg?
76
00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:55,190
Oh, well, I told him, darling. I... I
called Charlie while you were out
77
00:11:55,190 --> 00:11:56,590
poor old Thomas Sr.'s grave.
78
00:11:57,070 --> 00:12:00,650
Now, all you do is put the egg in here,
turn the light on, keep it warm, it
79
00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:01,650
ought to pop right out of the shell.
80
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:05,110
I just knocked this together with some
old junk I had laying around, so it
81
00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,110
fancy, but it ought to work.
82
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,670
That's awful sweet of you, Charlie.
83
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,570
Won't you come in and have a drink? No,
no, I can't. I've got to go pack.
84
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,430
Here you go, Jack.
85
00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:23,210
You know, I'm kind of curious about
what's going to hatch out of that egg.
86
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:27,310
Since you say you didn't get a good look
at the daddy, it might turn out to be
87
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:28,310
something unusual.
88
00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:32,630
I never said I didn't get a good look at
him.
89
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,290
You saw him?
90
00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:35,470
You never told me that.
91
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:36,970
Well, what did he look like?
92
00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:44,230
Well... He was different.
93
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,070
Well, you can at least try to be civil.
94
00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:18,650
Always civil.
95
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:23,570
Always polite. In fact, sometimes I
think I must be the politest man in the
96
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,570
whole world.
97
00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:28,470
Darling, you're going to have to try to
do something about your drinking. These
98
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,770
past six weeks have just been... I know,
you told me.
99
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:32,710
The past six weeks have been hell.
100
00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:36,590
But if you would just try to... Do
something about my drinking, all right,
101
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,530
think I will. I think I'll have another
drink.
102
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,240
All the details.
103
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,679
Hi, Jack.
104
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,540
Charlie. That was headquarters.
105
00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:57,320
All great. Just great.
106
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,280
I'm glad you hear what I heard about
you.
107
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,240
Really?
108
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,400
Meantime, what can I offer you? My
liquor? My cigars?
109
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:05,640
My piano?
110
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,080
My wife.
111
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,280
Now, that last remark wasn't very funny,
friend.
112
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,300
Don't pay any attention to him. For the
past few days, he's just been brooding.
113
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,980
Brooding, huh? About what?
114
00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:22,230
Manical genius.
115
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:26,310
Well, I always thought of myself as half
smart, but genius?
116
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:29,150
This incubator you knocked together?
117
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:30,730
It worked.
118
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,290
Boy, did it work.
119
00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:33,530
Your egg hatched, huh?
120
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,130
It hatched. Well, where's the offspring?
121
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:42,950
Good Lord!
122
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:49,030
It grew to that size in six weeks?
123
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:51,980
Five weeks. It took a week for the egg
to hatch.
124
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,080
It's black.
125
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,920
Cold black. I don't think I've even
heard of a black parrot.
126
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:01,840
It's not a parrot, Charlie.
127
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:03,820
Well, what is it?
128
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:05,880
Well, it's interesting.
129
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,700
You're the expert on what you call God's
critters. Well, what kind of critter is
130
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,820
that? Is it male, female?
131
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,440
Something in between.
132
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,780
I don't think I've ever seen anything
like it.
133
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,900
I want to give the thing away.
134
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:20,680
Why?
135
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,660
Because it watches.
136
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,840
Watches what?
137
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:30,740
Everything. Can it talk?
138
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:34,640
Not sure.
139
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,040
Can you talk, handsome?
140
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,220
Is that what you named it, handsome?
141
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,200
Hasn't got a name, but I sometimes call
it handsome.
142
00:15:47,770 --> 00:15:49,870
And it isn't cold anything at all, isn't
it?
143
00:15:50,870 --> 00:15:52,290
It doesn't like to be watched.
144
00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:57,870
Let's not waste the whole evening
talking about that stupid bird.
145
00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:01,730
Charlie, I want you to tell me all about
headquarters. I want to hear all the
146
00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:04,750
gossip. Well, they're real high on your
husband there.
147
00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:11,470
From what I can gather, anyway, they're
going to... Did you hear that, Johnny?
148
00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:17,900
I'd be rewarded for happiness of thought
and neatness. Neatness. counts for a
149
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:18,900
great deal at headquarters.
150
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,560
You can turn in a report that says
nothing at all.
151
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:25,340
But so long as it's neat, headquarters
will be delighted.
152
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,620
Well, I reckon I brought back a little
news about myself, too. Oh, what?
153
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,500
I'm going to be transferred.
154
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:35,720
When?
155
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:37,940
Next week.
156
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,040
Where are you going?
157
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Bogota.
158
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,800
Bogota.
159
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,740
A lot of pirates in Bogota.
160
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:49,700
Hear that, handsome?
161
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,560
Charlie's been transferred to Bogota.
162
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,440
What do you think of that?
163
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,900
I waited as long as I could, Jack, but I
gotta catch that plane.
164
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,320
I just stopped over to say so long.
165
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,580
Say so long to Edna? Oh, yeah.
166
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:34,880
Yeah, we said goodbye.
167
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,300
Hope it wasn't too painful.
168
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,920
Well, Jack, I never like saying goodbye
to good friends.
169
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,020
And that's how I always think of you and
Edna.
170
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,320
Good friends.
171
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,620
Say goodbye to the bird?
172
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,700
You know, Jack, you ought to get rid of
that bird.
173
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,460
He don't do nothing but sit up there
and...
174
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:56,850
Chuckle that mean, low -down chuckle of
his all day long. It's driving Edna Plum
175
00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:58,410
crazy. Is that what she said?
176
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:01,290
Well, she didn't come right out and say
it, but shoot, you can tell.
177
00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:02,510
I mean, you can tell.
178
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:03,810
Bird's driving her crazy.
179
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:08,950
I hope you straighten out, boy.
180
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:11,470
I surely do.
181
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:18,750
So long, Charlie.
182
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:41,780
Hey, for your lesson?
183
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:45,340
Hey, now, repeat after me.
184
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,440
Gee, you got shifty eyes.
185
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,180
Gee, you got shifty eyes.
186
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,100
I'll bet you could talk if you wanted
to.
187
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,300
I'll bet you could tell me all kinds of
interesting things.
188
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:02,660
I didn't hear you come in.
189
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,760
Just, uh, giving handsome his lesson.
190
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:08,880
Not much of a pupil.
191
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,500
You missed Charlie. He dropped over to
say goodbye.
192
00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:14,260
No. I didn't miss him.
193
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,800
You saw him?
194
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,440
On the drive.
195
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:18,920
He stopped.
196
00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:20,500
He wanted to say farewell.
197
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,680
Charlie.
198
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:26,880
Yes, wisdom.
199
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,080
Thinks you're going crazy.
200
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:31,820
Charlie didn't do that.
201
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:34,460
Yes, he did.
202
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,360
How long was he here?
203
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,100
About an hour, I guess.
204
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,000
Suppose you could spend an hour saying
goodbye to somebody.
205
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,040
Did he tell you you were going crazy?
206
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:45,880
You're making that up.
207
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:50,340
He thinks the bird is driving you crazy.
208
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,080
It just makes me nervous, that's all.
209
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:57,740
Look, Jack.
210
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,080
Can we talk?
211
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:01,480
Sure.
212
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,320
Not here.
213
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000
In the bedroom.
214
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:27,470
I have some news, darling. Some good
news.
215
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,250
What?
216
00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:32,810
I'm going to have a baby.
217
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,690
You sure?
218
00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:37,390
I'm very sure.
219
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:45,190
Damn, that is great. That is just great.
220
00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:48,010
When? I mean, when?
221
00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:49,650
About seven months, I guess.
222
00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:51,270
A baby.
223
00:20:51,930 --> 00:20:52,930
A son.
224
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:54,310
An heir.
225
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:55,390
A daughter, I mean.
226
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,730
What would a daughter be? An heiress.
227
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,550
This changes everything.
228
00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:04,110
No more fighting, no more brooding, no
more booze.
229
00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:10,050
First, one last celebration.
230
00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:12,790
A bottle of champagne in the
refrigerator.
231
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:15,010
What do you say?
232
00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:17,970
One last celebration.
233
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,330
But darling, could I ask you just one
thing?
234
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,250
Anything.
235
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,630
Can we get rid of that awful bird?
236
00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:41,230
Done. First thing in the morning. Now.
237
00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:19,019
going to be a father.
238
00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:20,120
You don't say so.
239
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,560
What about you?
240
00:22:32,340 --> 00:22:33,340
What did you say?
241
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,680
You think the child is his?
242
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,919
Don't worry.
243
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:36,920
He's a fool.
244
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,320
One more time.
245
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,760
Where's the champagne?
17821
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