All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s06e13_youth_from_vienna

Attacks began when three persons were
shot to death by police in a series of

unconnected incidents earlier this week.

In today's press conference, Chief Davis
blamed television news reporters for

sensationalizing the recent police
shootings.

He also blamed the rumors of his
resignation on what he called his

the city council and in the mayor's
office.

During the 30 -minute press conference,
Chief Nelson shouted his angry answers

at reporters and pounded the podium for
him.

Dick? Humphrey?

I'm at the airport, but something's come
up. I can't make it for dinner, but

I'll be there later. About 11, okay?

Good.

Turn it up.

He shouted his angry answers at
reporters and pounded the podium for

His attacks on the city council and the
mayor's office is the newest outburst in

the longest simmering political feud in
this city.

This is Carolyn Coates.

Now back to new center six.

Turn it off.

How long does it take to get to channel
six?

Won't you ask the cab driver, buddy?

Absolutely brilliant suggestion.

Carolyn Coates, please.

You could tell her it's a matter of life
or death.

My card.

Carolyn, there's a guy out here who
wants to see you about a small matter of

life or death.

No, I don't think he's one of those. His
card says he's Dr.

Humphrey Baxter from Johns Hopkins
University.

Right.

She'll be out in a moment. Thank you.

Oh, may I have my card back?

Dr. Baxter?

Yes. I've been told I have a very abrupt
manner, even peremptory. I find it

saves a great deal of time.

I see.

I never saw you before an hour ago at
the airport, on television. I came

straight here.

I don't think I want to ask why.

Why? It's really quite simple.

We're going to get married.

You really are a nutcase, aren't you?

Humphrey! Get in here.

You should have let us pick you up at
the airport.

Meaning people at airports should be
declared a crime.

A federal crime.

Stella's just in here.

Look who's here.

Nothing's wrong, is there? I mean, you
called from the airport. Oh, no, Stella,

nothing's wrong. And you look as
splendid as ever.

By the way, I have great news.

Vingelberg has accepted me.

In Vienna?

I got the word just before I left
Baltimore. So I thought I'd come up here

spend a month with you two and then fly
from here to Vienna. That is, if it's

all right with the both of you. All
right, Humphrey. You've no idea what

do for my position with the faculty
wives pecking order.

Bingleberg. There's a rumor going around
that he's close to a breakthrough on

the aging process.

It's a bit more than a rumor.

So that's why he needs a top
endocrinologist.

And I have some more good news.

I'm going to get married.

Humphrey. When? To whom?

Soon, I hope.

Would you like to meet the bride?

Well, of course. When?

I think right about now.

Frank Nelson shouted to reporters that
he had no intention of retiring.

Not today, not next week, not ever.

TV cameras were barred from today's
press conference, which featured heated

exchanges. Carolyn Coles?

Do you know her?

Well, hardly. You're talking to the
shabby professor and his wife. We don't

around with those types.

How long have you known her?

About four hours, I'd say.

And you're going to marry her? I am.

Does she know it? She does.

You mean she said yes?

Not yet. But she hasn't said no either.

There are 28 balloons.

They symbolize the number of days we
have left before we leave for Vienna.

Vienna. Which I'm sure you'll love.
We'll remain there for one year while I

with Vingelberg.

Vingelberg. A noted scientist.

Today my courtship officially begins.

Shall we start with lunch?

Do I have a choice?

Almost none.

Crazy, you know that?

Absolutely mad at that. Well, I'm a bit
ostentatious perhaps, but since this is

your last day in the television
industry, why not?

I told them today that I was quitting to
get married.

Good.

And guess what they told me?

They told me that I could either quit
and get married or I could have the

spot on the 6 o 'clock news. So guess
what I told them?

You would have liked Vienna, I think.

I'm sure you would have.

Oh, Humphrey, it's only for one year.

You can fly back and see me at least
once or twice. We can write, we can

each other.

We'll still be engaged.

Telephone, yes.

Right? Of course. But fly back? Never.

Dr. Fingalberg would never stand for
that. He's too close to that

What an aging process, Hunter.

He's right.

And he always is.

Won't get out of that laboratory unless
they burn it down.

You won't change your mind?

Humphrey, I'm going to explain something
to you, and I want you to listen very

carefully. Certainly.

Five years ago, I was a Nebraska farm
girl just out of business school.

Next week, I'm going to be a $200 ,000
-a -year anchorwoman on the best fish in

the biggest market in this country.

And it's not because of my brilliant
mind.

It's because all those genes and those
chromosomes you're always talking about

make me look the way I do.

They're not paying for my expertise on
the common market.

They're paying for my looks and my
youth, and I'm not going to have them

forever.

No, perhaps not.

But what's to become of us?

Come on, we're in love.

Very much so.

It's only going to be one year.

And then after that, well... Well, after
that... We'll live forever.

Then it's settled.

It's a long flight, isn't it? From
Vienna, it's 15 hours a year.

Dick's in the study.

Welcome back, hump.

How was Vienna? Where is she, Dick? I
worried that I'd meet her here.

I've been trying to call her for a
month, but her phone's been disconnected

something, and somehow I keep missing
her at the studio.

Is she all right?

Carolyn's fine.

It's just that...

Carolyn has fallen in love with a tennis
star.

A tennis player?

Well, he's more than just that. He's
Alan Brody, the national singles

He's... He's showbiz, Humpf.

Just like Carolyn.

She's not just a pretty face you see on
the six o 'clock news anymore.

She's a celebrity.

And so is Brody. They can't tie their
shoes without its getting into the

They're getting married next month, I
think.

Where are they now?

Caroline's moved into his place out at
Malibu.

What's the address?

You're not going to do anything foolish,
are you?

Whatever gave you that idea?

Terran coach, please. I'm Humphrey
Baxter. They're expecting you. They're

on the court.

Thank you.

Hey, watch it. Sorry.

Save those for the game.

What's that?

Humphrey.

Well, what do you think of us?

I think yes.

I think you're both very charming and I
hope we'll all be friends.

Very. See, darling, what did I tell you?

Humphrey's the most sensible man I've
ever known.

She's told me a great deal about you,
Doctor. All of it's flattering.

Humphrey, please.

Or Humpf.

That's what all my friends call me.

Come on, let's practice.

He's teaching me.

You know, I picked up a newspaper the
other day.

And there was a story in it about you
and a Dr. Vingle something.

Vingleberg. Yeah, Vingleberg.

It was a pretty complicated story, but
the gist of it seemed to be that the two

of you had made some kind of
breakthrough.

Discovered the Fountain of Youth or
something. Nice one.

No, nothing so fantastic.

But it's made you famous! Miss Humphrey.

Not as famous as the two of you.

You both have youth and fame.

It's a heady mixture.

Yeah, well, I don't know about the
youth.

I've got a match next week with a 17
-year -old kid who'll probably wipe up

court with me.

But then, who wants to be young forever?

I do! Me!

Really? Yes.

Well, those newspaper stories weren't
entirely accurate.

For one thing, they didn't give
Dingleburg enough credit.

Oh, we did make a breakthrough. A very
complicated and expensive one.

In fact...

I brought you an example of it as a
present.

Carolyn, I'd like you to meet
Methuselah.

He just had a birthday. He turned five.

Oh, hi.

Five weeks?

No, five years.

I just brought him back from Vienna.

You've just displayed instinctive
prejudice.

Before long, the world will have to get
used to this sort of thing.

Well, that's a freak cat or a dwarf or
something. Oh, no, no, no.

It's perfectly normal in every respect.

What'll happen to it? Will it eventually
explode or crumble into dust or what?

Probably die of a heart attack.

But after 40 years of glorious youth,
which is 280 years in human terms...

Will your stuff... work on humans?

Yes, theoretically.

Well, it's more than theoretical if you
want to be absolutely accurate.

You see, I can't say anything else
unless I can swear you both to absolute

secrecy.

We won't say a word.

Never. All right.

We did make a breakthrough, Vingelberg
and I. Mostly Vingelberg, of course.

Unfortunately, the source of the serum
dies once the serum is extracted.

What's the source?

Man himself.

People? What do you mean?

They were volunteers.

But the big breakthrough is that we're
absolutely certain we have a synthetic

source. Unfortunately, it would take
years and millions of dollars to

But you did make some of it.

We made it only three times.

Under circumstances about which I will
tell you absolutely nothing.

Three? Yes, I took one dose.

You did?

Yes, me.

Well, I helped discover it, so I took
it.

Wengelberg also took one.

He's 68 and as ugly as a monkey. He's
going to remain 68 and ugly for 200

It stops aging completely?

Mm -hmm.

Yes.

What about the other dose? You said
there were three.

The third one I brought back with me
from Vienna.

Carolyn, I needn't tell you why.

This is life, youth, and love for nearly
200 years.

It's for you.

Rather, it's for both of you.

You could call it sort of a wedding
present.

But you must swear, you must solemnly
swear, both of you, not to mention a

Do you swear?

I do.

I do.

Rather like a wedding ceremony, isn't
it?

We'll each take half.

A hundred years each. No, no, you can't
do that. Your body does not understand

mathematics. Half a dose could cause
deformation, even death.

Now, what I gave you was one dose and
one dose only.

It's to be taken orally at a gulp.

The taste is not unpleasant.

It's very safe unless you fool around
with it.

And then dynamite.

Keep it as a curiosity.

It's not very pretty, but it is unique.

Well, I've got to go now, so
congratulations.

And my very best wishes for a long and a
very, very happy life.

I want you to take this. Right now.
Right away. No.

No, darling. I want you to take it. It's
for you. Please.

You're the athlete.

Think of your game.

You mean there's something wrong with my
game?

No. Of course not.

Your game's holding up beautifully.
Everyone says that. Holding up?

A kiss of death.

Darling, I don't want to see you get old
and sick and ugly and die.

I'd die rather than have that happen.

That's just how I feel.

Would you still love me even if I grew
old?

Sure I would.

Until then, this is Pat Ward, Channel 10
News.

So, what do you think of our new co
-anchor?

Well, she's a little young.

That's what the ad agencies are buying
this year.

Youth.

Youth.

Well, she looked good.

You'll meet her next week.

Listen, by the way, could you go to see
Jan in makeup?

She has an idea about your hair.

Sort of pull it back or something.

She swears it'll take a couple years off
you.

Sure. I can do that.

Go see Jan.

I left him.

The tennis player?

Yes. Well, these things happen.

Come in.

It's all your fault, Humphrey.

Yes, yes, I would imagine.

Sit down.

It's that stuff you gave us, that stupid
serum.

I suppose that means that you drank it.
Yes, I drank it.

Behind his back.

What did he say when you told him?

I didn't tell him.

How do you tell somebody that he's going
to grow old while you're staying young?

I just drank it.

And then I filled the thing up with
water and I threw a little quinine in

Why the quinine?

Well, to give it that bitter taste that
it has.

I see.

Go on.

Well, then I started watching him.

Watching him grow old, I guess.

And then I started noticing things, you
know?

Like what?

I don't know, just stuff I didn't like
about him.

And then I suddenly just stopped loving
him.

If, in fact, I ever did.

It's very difficult being immortal.

There's only three of us.

You, me, and old Vingelberg.

Just us three and all the world.

I'll let you down, Humphrey.

Yes.

But we could try again, can't we?

By the way, you're quite sure it tasted
bitter.

Yes, it was very bitter.

No mistake about that.

No.

That's strange.

You see, when I first filled the bottle,
I used tap water and salt for taste,

you know.

So clearly, someone else drank it and
substituted something else, which you

drank.