All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s05e16_a_man_with_a_fortune

I'm terribly sorry.

Two more. This way, please.

Boy, do I need to sit down.

My feet are just... I'm awfully sorry. I
sometimes think we're a bit too

friendly. Pushy, even.

Americans, I mean.

I'm sure you're not.

It's possible we're too standoffish.

No, I like it.

My family worry me.

Can I get an obliter?

Oh, dear.

Too much sight, Pink?

No. No, not really.

No, I'm looking for something. Back at
the hotel, they called it Somerset

Oh, yes, where all the records were
kept. Birth, marriage, and death.

Hmm. Well, what I should have had them
do was market in my A to Z.

But I always kid myself I can solve
everything.

That's how I got to where I am in
business.

Anyway, my feet were just killing me,
and I saw this place. It looked

You know, and unpretentious, so I...
Yes, I come here for lunch sometimes

because it's quiet.

I don't play loud music all the time.

I know that music.

It just means everywhere.

Well, it sure is good to have a...

A nice young person to agree with you.
I, uh... I was beginning to think I was

getting old -fashioned. I don't think
I'm quite that young.

What?

You're no more than, uh... What, 25?

I am. I'm 28.

Well, I... Well, I wish that I was 28
again.

Last year I got married.

I had a wonderful wife.

And I still miss her a lot.

Oh.

She... She... She disappeared.

Table for two. I can seat you now.

Oh, er, well, we're not really... Well,
look, maybe... Maybe you're stuck with

me. Is that all right?

Oh, yes, of course.

Will you see the manual, please?

There is this one. It's all up there.

Oh!

Well, let's have a look at the wine
list.

You know, back home, we tend to drink
our own.

That's California.

In fact, wine's my business.

You sell it?

How interesting.

No, I make it.

I supervise it.

I own some very big vineyards.

Oh, how nice.

Give me a...

I've sworn that you said that your wife
was... It was really a very, a very nice

place. That was the most terrible thing

that ever happened to me in my whole
life.

It was three years ago.

There was no note, nothing.

I just came home one day and she was
gone.

Surely you told the police.

Oh, yeah.

I drove them crazy.

You know, they got hundreds. They got
thousands of people on their missing

persons list.

After a while, I just gave up. Even they
said eventually I better just assume

that she was dead.

How awful for you.

You're a very nice person.

I asked myself time and time again, what
did I do wrong?

Maybe I just like things too so -so. I
don't know.

But my life's been a blank since then.

No kids, so I'm all on my own.

Are you ready to order? The lamb
casserole's best today.

Yes, that's fine.

Casserole? Yeah.

And a bottle... You'll let me buy you
lunch?

Oh, no, why should you?

Well, at least a bottle of wine.

All right.

Uh, San Emilio.

What?

Number 12, San Emilio. All right.

Right, two lamb casseroles and one
bottle of number 12. Coming up.

So difficult.

Conversations and restaurants.

Where were we?

Well, I'm afraid I was paying my usual
melancholy self.

Living alone in the desert.

Oh, I see.

You've no family in California, so you
decided to find your ancestors, hence

Somerset. Well, my family come from
England.

At least my mother and I did about 40,
45 years ago.

Now, if I could just locate somebody to
get... Oh, dear.

I almost led you astray.

It's not Somerset House any longer.
They've moved.

Oh, no.

Well, what, very far?

Well, it's not in this area, but I can
point you in the right direction.

Well, would you know, is it difficult to
look somebody up?

I shouldn't think so, if you've got the
right names and dates and so on.

Well, I don't have too much to go on. I
thought I'd start with my father's

grandfather, because he...

Well, I mean, I don't have much choice.

I never really knew my mother's maiden
name.

She died when I was just a little fella.

I'm kind of a self -made man.

Orphanage to vineyards. Only took 30
years.

Where did your father's family come
from?

Well, a village in Norfolk called
Bedham.

I remember.

One of the first things I remember is my
mother pronouncing it in very English.

Not Bedham, you say, but...

Bet them.

Well, there's your starting point.

You do know what year your grandfather
was born?

Well, I'm not sure.

Dad was an only child.

Grandfather had three brothers, and they
were born around 1860, 1870.

So if I draw a blank there, I just go
five years forward and five years back.

It would take an awfully long time.

Of course, it would help if you had a
fairly uncommon name. I mean, there

be many entries under, say, James
Cripples now.

By the lamb, aren't you?

We ordered number 12, the anti -million.

What?

Hell.

Leslie, I think they could get a simple
little order like... There's something

wrong. Oh, no.

It just happens that my name is Smith.

Smith?

Really, Eva, why didn't you offer to
help him?

Me?

Well, it didn't even occur to me.

But a man with a fortune.

Well, he's obviously rich, dear.

vineyards in California and no
offspring.

He might have taken a fancy to have
forgotten about finding boring old

relatives. I hardly think so.

He seemed to have this need.

How long does he have in England?

I don't really know.

A couple of weeks, I think.

Then he's out of his mind. He could
spend ages just working through the

before he so much as claps eyes on any
birth, marriage or death certificates.

I bet he gives up on the first day.

Not him.

Too important to them.

Why? They expect to find he's well
-connected, in line for a title, Lord

of San Francisco.

Janet, you do boil everything down.

He's lonely.

I mean, he's the most ordinary -looking
man.

Middle -aged, slightly tanned, quite
well -dressed. He was like an overweight

teddy bear.

And he seemed to have this neat... I
don't know.

Find somebody he belonged to.

Oh, belong to him, naturally.

He wants the fortune to stay in the
family.

Yes, well, perhaps it's as simple as
that.

Darling, don't switch that thing off. We
can do them any old time.

I want a coffee.

All right, um, I'll make some coffee.

Can you imagine how many Smiths are born
in England in a year?

Your Mr. Smith has to check every male
Smith born in... What was the name of

village? In Norfolk, was it?

It does sound impossible.

Poor Mr. Smith.

Tell me, darling, I know. I've been
through it.

One of the first assignments I had on
the magazine was to locate the

of Thomas Hughes.

He wrote Tom Brown, Goulday. It was
really Eva.

Didn't your family ever teach you to
read?

Darling, what have you done with my
conditioner?

I feel quite bad about this. I more or
less encouraged him.

Actually, there is another way.

What's that?

Parish record.

If you knew the village in Norfolk.

It ended in ham, pronounced mm.

Hmm.

Well, it's Bressingham.

My aunt's a great gardener. We went to
Bressingham Hall once.

Lovely display.

Wonderful lot of alpine plants.

They were alpine in Norfolk. I'll never
understand.

Just flat as a pancake.

Howl.

Read him.

Red. Bed him. That was it.

Not bed ham.

Bed him.

There you are, then.

The local church would be sure to have
it.

Well, you can check each denomination. A
village can't have that many churches.

Probably Anglican anyway.

The father's name would be in the
register.

Which father?

The father of the three brothers.

Oh, do try to keep up, dear.

Your mistress may have had to check each
brother's entry to establish their

Christian names. Then look under those
names to find the marriage entry.

The marriages would be years later. Some
of them may have moved away.

I know, darling. I've been through it
all, dear, with old Watsit, Thomas

Believe me, your Mr Smith needs all the
help he can get.

Well, don't look at me.

Why not?

Oh, Janet, it was a chance conversation
in a wine bar. Oh, Eva, you're so

negative.

I'm not. I just don't think it's any of
my business.

Really, dear, aren't you always telling
me what a wonderful life I have on the

magazine, how I get about the country
and abroad, too, and how boring your

is in your electronics firm?

Mr. Smith didn't once mention where he
was staying in London.

Even if I wouldn't, I wouldn't have the
faintest idea where to find him.

Don't be stupid, dear. You've just told
me exactly where he'll be, at least for

the next few days.

In the Kingsway, in the register office,
working through the Smiths.

Well, if you won't go, I will.

Janet, you wouldn't. Why not help the
poor old thing?

And your motives would be of the purest,
wouldn't they?

Don't be silly, darling. Of course I
won't do anything.

Can't you take a joke?

My name is Smith. I was here yesterday.

All right.

Oh, Arthur.

Are you all right?

I'm sorry.

I just can't find the volume I want.

Someone's obviously put it back on the
wrong shelf.

I know.

People just don't think.

Might have known it wouldn't work.

I've just moved into a new office nearby
and I decided to nip out and do

something I've been meaning to do for
ages.

Look up my ancestors.

Silly of me. I have to get back and...
What date are you looking for?

Oh, 1868.

The second quarter.

That's the one I've got right here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean... No, look, you go ahead.

I've got all day.

Your time is more valuable than mine.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Please.

Very kind of you.

It'll probably take ages anyway.

Why did my mother have to have such a...

Common name is Smith.

Your name is Smith?

I guess it's not that much of a
coincidence.

Well, my mother's name, actually.

I'm Janet Maddock.

Oh, John Smith.

I'm having a terrible time.

Oh, why is that?

Well, the trouble is they don't have any
villages here. Just the nearest big

town.

If I don't know the town, I've got to
try to spot my grandfather's village.

Well, close by.

That must take ages.

Yeah, but I'm getting faster.

Anyway, I'm taking up your precious
time.

No, not at all.

Oh.

I wonder if this is my... Matthew.

Great Yarmouth.

I imagine that's where they'd register
people born in Bedham.

Did you say Bedham? Yes.

In Norfolk?

Why, yes.

Miss Murdoch.

I've got something really wonderful to
tell you.

Matthew Smith, Mark Smith, Luke Smith.

How about that? Matthew, Mark, Luke and
John.

Yeah, we got to Mark before we realized
it. It's not infrequent, sir.

But you only appear to have three here.

John seems to be missing.

Well, John's my grandfather.

I know all about him. No, it's his
brother's descendants I'm trying to

And I think I found one already.

But we'll have to wait for the birth
certificates to be sure.

How long will that take? Three or four
days. Quite soon.

Soon?

Janet, I've got a great idea.

I'll be back to pay you in a minute.

Now, what?

Now, don't get me wrong, but this
weekend, why don't you and I travel to

together? To Bedham.

To find the church with all the old
parish records. Now, I am sure this is

best way to find out about our people.

Will you?

Will you come?

I'd be delighted to, Mr. Smith. Mr.
Smith!

I'd better sort out exactly what
relation to me you are.

Well, can I say something?

I dreamed for a long time about finding
someone or some family.

And it might have been a boring old
uncle or a wicked great aunt who said

it was you.

I'd better get back.

Look, here's where I'm staying.

Now, phone me first thing in the morning
and tell me what arrangements to make

for the weekend.

Hello? Tommy Williams here.

Oh, hello, Tommy.

Can you talk to Ron for a second?

Is Janet there?

Oh, no, isn't she away on a job?

Oh, not with a magazine.

I haven't seen her all week.

Oh, well, you know Janet. She never
tells me where she's going or when she's

coming back.

Do us a favour.

Take a look around.

She may have left something, a note or
something like that.

Oh, all right. I'll have a look round.

Yes, do that.

Ring me back, OK?

Yes, OK, Tommy. I'll get right back to
you. Thanks.

...may arrive after you've left for
Norfolk.

It's simply to confirm that I shall be
pleased to show you the entries in our

register pertaining to your mother's
family, the Smiths.

Although it's very likely that we have
nothing that you have not already seen

the General Register office.

Yours sincerely, Dennis Harcourt, Vicar.

The bitch!

Why, yes, Miss Murdoch called on a
Saturday afternoon.

Two weeks ago it would have been, or was
it more?

No, that's right, I was conducting a
baptism, or was it the... Yes, a

and they waited until it was over.

She had someone with her?

Her cousin.

Her cousin? Well, I gather it wasn't her
first cousin, but they were related in

some way. He was from America.

His name was John Smith.

John Smith III, as the Americans like to
say.

A middle -aged man, slightly overweight,
with graying temples.

Indeed. He was most appreciative of
everything that I showed him. Well, his

father and his grandfather were born
here, so I was able to look up their

bathrooms and their marriages in the
register.

It goes back to the 16th century.

All were very proud of our register.

And did it turn out that Miss Murdoch
was related to the Smiths of Bedham? On

her mother's side. Her great...

Grandfather Matthew Smith is buried in
the churchyard.

Would you like to see his grave?

He was the brother of the American
gentleman's grandfather, if I've got it

right.

That's the only Smith grave of that
period in the churchyard.

When I first got Miss Murdoch's letter,
I was hoping I would be able to locate

the graves of the grandfather and father
of our American visitor. I thought it

would be such a thrill for him.

But it was not to be.

No, they're buried elsewhere.

Do you know where?

Yes,

I got it from Mr Harper, the sexton.
Well, he's been here much longer than I

have. Is it confidential?

No, not really.

It was information, but in the
circumstances I decided not to volunteer

Miss. Murdoch and Mr Smith.

Well, they both seemed so happy to have
found each other, and one didn't, was

he?

You're not one of the family, are you?

Oh, no, absolutely not.

Oh, well, then.

The first John Smith, our American
friend's grandfather, was apparently

given to the most appalling fits of
violence, and he became quite dangerous.

He was committed to a private asylum in
London and he ended his days there.

And his only son, the second John Smith,
he also ended his days in distressing

circumstances.

He was convicted of murdering two local
girls by strangulation.

Thunder was believed to have been the
third, but the charge was never brought.

He was found guilty but insane and sent
to Broadmoor.

And to compound the tragedy, he had a
wife and a baby son.

And they went to America.

Well, how can you tell somebody that
their grandfather and their father are

psychopaths? Perhaps you can understand
why I was silent on the matter when Mr.

Smith and Miss Murdoch was here.

I do think that the medical men and the
psychiatrists make too much of heredity.

And anyway...

The dear girl will be safe in London by
now, won't she?

But that's the point.

She never came home.

But it's over two weeks.

Oh, my word.