All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s05e15_in_the_bag

Bye.

Thank you.

Sam.

Sam Crawford from Buffalo?

Depends. I don't understand. Didn't
Marty tell you about the safe -cracking

Never.

Ever talk business in public.

Sorry.

Yeah.

What time do we go tomorrow?

We go today.

Today?

Lady, I was told the job was for
tomorrow. Well, there's been a small

seems our friendly stockbroker had a
deal he had to negotiate on Monday.

I don't like it.

24 hours is no small change.

Neither is the $100 ,000 in negotiable
securities sitting in his safe this very

minute.

Talk to me.

Well, my inside source called me last
night and told me that Ogden... Ogden?

Oh, the stockbroker's name is Ogden.

Go on.

Well, it seems that Ogden and his wife
are ski freaks, and this being the end

the season, they planned an extra long
weekend someplace in Vermont.

Oh, but the snow didn't show, so they're
heading back tomorrow.

That's why we have to go today.

The $100 ,000 in...

negotiable securities are part of a deal
to be transacted at Ogden's home on

Monday, rather than come back into the
office to pick up the bonds he stashed

his private safe over the weekend.

That's kind of careless.

Well, he doesn't think so. He's been
doing it for years.

Up until now, no one even knew the safe
was there, not even Ogden's wife.

What about your source?

Well, um, she was his mistress, and
mistresses know everything. They have

It's how they survive.

Yeah, right. Well, speaking about
survival, uh, splits 50 -50, right?

Wrong.

All I want is the jewelry.

You can keep the rest.

I don't get it.

Well, um, the jewelry belonged to my
sister. She was Ogden's

ex... Mistress.

Right.

He stole it from her and beat it right
back to his wife.

That jewelry represents five years of
very boring conversations with a very

boring stockbroker.

And she wants it back.

Yeah, well, this is me, lady. You can
have it all. I mean, she can have it

Never touched this stuff myself. It's
too many problems.

It's too hot.

It's hard to tell. It can be traced.

All I want is the securities.

They're as good as cash.

Good.

Then we've got a deal.

Now, here's where the house is.

On Staten Island.

Staten Island?

Lady, I was told the job was in New
York.

Well, it is. Staten Island is a borough
of New York.

Oh, New York has five boroughs.
Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and

Island. Yeah, well, thanks for the
geography lesson, but to be real honest

it, it doesn't make me feel any less
nervous.

I don't like this at all.

Hey! You can't back out now. I'm
depending on you.

I need you.

Lady, I'm your friendly burglar. I ain't
your brother.

Please refrain from this I -need -you
stuff.

You want out?

Is that it?

Huh?

Come on, out with it.

Why, huh?

It's because I'm a woman?

Huh? Come on, the truth now. Sam, or
whatever your name is, out with it.

Okay, you finished?

Because if you are, let me explain a
basic principle upon which I operate my

life.

And that is that greed always takes
precedence over ground.

And what does that mean?

What it means is that I never... Allow
my personal feelings, be they anger,

annoyance, or your garden variety ticked
offness at a partner in crime, be it

male or female, to interfere with my
earning my daily bread.

So if you think that I would... Well,
then why do you want out?

Lady, I never said I wanted out. I said
I was ready for Manhattan Island, not

Staten Island.

Manhattan, Staten, what's the
difference? You're cracking a safe, not

The difference, lady, is I always liked
to case the joint.

I am a pro.

I am not one of your Central Park punks.

Now, either we check out the hit, or I'm
busting it back to Buffalo Tootsuite.

Oh, is that all you want?

Yeah.

That's all I want.

For now.

Well, there's no problem, because that's
already been done.

Now, here's Ogden's house.

We don't stand a chance.

Now what's the problem?

Well, the problem is the house is in the
open.

It's too much in the open. I mean, there
isn't a nosy neighbor on the whole

street that wouldn't spot two strangers
coming in, going out, and they'd call

the cops, and I don't like it.

Well, then why did you take the job?

I've been trying to tell you.

I took the job because I thought it was
in Manhattan, where there's plenty of

noise, plenty of people, you won't be
heard, and you won't be seen.

And even if we trip to a dozen alarms,
it takes the cops half a day to respond.

So it's a little more risky.

But just think of all that loot sitting
there just waiting.

I'm thinking.

Believe me, it's the only reason I'm not
halfway back to Buffalo by now.

Who are these people?

And how come they're running?

Oh, they're college students. They're
probably late for class.

Oh, yeah?

Where's the college?

It's about a block from the house.

Oh, yeah?

That's perfect.

That's absolutely perfect.

Tell me.

Look.

What do you think? How do I look?

Joe College?

Maybe Joe Preppy, so?

So, on the way to your place, what we're
going to do is we're going to pick up

one of your kids' school bags. My place?

Yeah.

You're next.

You've got to be kidding. I mean, I
would look stupid dressed like a preppy.

Wrong.

You look just like everybody else, and
that's the point. You want to blend in.

You don't want to be noticed.

Okay, as soon as we finish the job, what
we want to do is get away from the

house as fast as possible, right? Right.

Okay, car's too risky. It's a quiet
street. Somebody might notice the car.

So the fastest way is to run.

Run? Are you feeble? Now that's
suspicious.

Oh, yeah?

What bank they rob?

Oh.

Yeah. Go to my place.

Perfect little dodo is more like it.

Must we do this?

Now I know why I've been having that
nightmare. It's the job. Oh, no, it's

to me again.

No, no, no, it's not back to you. It's
back to anyone.

Look, I usually work alone.

I make my own plans.

I have never been caught.

And the only time that I've ever come
close is when I work with a partner.

And what does that mean?

It means that from now on, I'm running
things. I am the boss. I say what we

and when we go.

I'm doing this for your own good, lady.

I'm not a lady, and the name is Kara.

I'm doing this for your own good, Kara.

You're repeating.

I'm repeating because ladies' jails are
no fun. Women's jails are no fun.

Now you're repeating.

You're right. And even though you're
very silly, you're also very cute.

What's my first order, Mr. Sam Crawford?
Your first order is you never mention

your partner's name.

Forget names.

Especially if you're caught. What's the
difference? We're bound to have some

identification.

Who says we're bound to have some
identification?

No one. I guess we don't have to carry
wallets. Now you're learning. No

no purses, no identification. I get it.
I get it. No wallets, no purses, no

identification, no et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera. Right.

Let's go crack a safe.

I figure we time the job so we exit the
house about five minutes before the

start of a new class.

And dressed like college kids, we head
for campus. And we're running, just like

everybody else is running.

Come on.

4 .15. That means we've got to be
finished and out of the house by 4 .10.

Okay, when we hit the campus, we enter
at Williams Hall at the North End.

This is it I think it goes like this

Cute

It's Leclerc's safe. It's going to take
some finessing.

Well, can you do it? It's a little late
to ask that question, lady, but the

answer is yes.

Can I help?

Uh, yeah. As a matter of fact, you can.

You can go up to the front room and you
keep your eye on the road. And if you

see anything, and I mean anything
suspicious, you come and you tell me too

because it's... I know.

Ladies' jails are no fun.

Now you learn it.

Man out front the gardener he mowing the
lawn

My baby goes through.

Go through.

Come on.

Come on.

I think he heard. He heard, but he's not
sure what, and I don't think he cares.

Negotiables. A lot, though.

Uh -uh.

The jewelry's not part of the deal.

Remember, it belongs to my... Your
sister.

She can have it all.

We've got to go. We've got about three
minutes before class starts.

We've got about two more minutes before
class starts.

We've got to get out of here.

Get out of here, don't you know
smoking's bad for your health?

Would you please just get in your truck
and go?

Thank you.

Let's try to act normal. We're a couple
of college students who are on our way

to the sheriff.

We're here.

The window's shut.

Do you suppose we were seen coming out?

What if we tripped a hidden alarm or
something?

Shouldn't we run or something? No.

In Manhattan, we could have run. People
do it all the time. We could have ducked

into a subway. We could have gotten lost
in a crowd. There's too much in the

open here. We'd be spotted and pinned in
a second.

No, run it. She's too suspicious.

Thank you.

It's an ambulance.

Okay, okay, I got the pimple. A
policeman.

Be cool.

She's following us. Maybe she's just
walking in the same direction we are.

I'm never going to make it to the ferry.

You're kidding.

Can you make it to the cafe across the
street? I can try. Come on.

Please stop.

Well, maybe we should go and ask him for
directions. You know, I once saw this

movie with a... Don't be dumb.

What did I have?

Coffee and a piece of pie.

Well, I have the same thing.

Here he comes.

Please stay calm.

He comes up to us and he stops. What you
do is you throw the coffee in his face

and we run.

Pete!

I'm just going to use the phone.

Sure.

God, what if he's calling for help?

He'd use his radio.

Are you sure? Marie,

where have you been?

You know, my tour was over half an hour
ago. I've been up and down Grand Street

half a dozen times looking for you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not
complaining.

I'm merely pointing out that... Of
course I still want to see you.

You know how I feel.

I'm at Pete's Cafe on Grand Street.

Ten minutes? No, of course, I don't
mind.

Yeah, I'll be right out in front.

All right, all right, I'll see you in
ten minutes, okay?

All right, bye.

Will that be all?

Yes.

5 .40.

All right.

You

got

any money?

No. Remember?

No wallet?

No purses, no et cetera, et cetera.

Uh -huh.

Two deadbeats.

This is the third time this month.

You college kids are nothing but crooks.

No, here, look.

You take my watch.

That watch won't get me a nickel. No one
wants a watch nowadays.

Especially me.

Tash. Oh, I call that top.

Well, I'll send you a check with
interest.

I'm no bank.

I don't loan money, and I don't want
interest.

Randy, come here, will you, please?

These college student bums owe me $5
.40, and they won't pay.

Is that true?

I just forgot my wallet. That's all it
is.

Please, we'll be back tomorrow.

Yeah. There you go, Peter, bringing your
money tomorrow.

I want the money now, or I want them
arrested.

I've been beat three times by these wise
guy college kids.

Arrested? Pete, you know what that
means?

That's two hours of paperwork down at
the station house.

It ain't worth it for a lousy five bucks
in change.

I'll tell you what I'll do. You look
like an honest guy.

I'll take care of this myself, all
right? I got a date in a couple of

and I don't want to be late.

Okay, here, here.

You'll meet me here tomorrow at the same
time and pay me back, all right?

Right.

Thanks, officer.

Just a minute. I'll take that bag.

For security, you understand?

You give me back my five bucks tomorrow,
I'll give you back your books, right?

Right. Randy!

Hey, sweetheart!

Don't forget now, tomorrow you're going
to be here with my money, right?

Sure.

Will we?

Good question.