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... ...
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...
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...
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Either you leave or I do.
5
00:01:34,170 --> 00:01:36,750
I've had enough. Now get out of it
saying you're going.
6
00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:38,410
While you're here, don't you go.
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Go for good and leave me in peace.
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Rake, gas, electricity.
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All final demands.
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One final demand I await with pleasure.
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The last judgment.
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Then you'll be judged as well as me, you
stale fish.
13
00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:06,230
That
14
00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:14,810
was
15
00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:18,770
seven pounds and twelve hours of
oblivion.
16
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,320
Perhaps they've come to cut something
off.
17
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,120
Your head, I hope.
18
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:36,760
Oh. Yes?
19
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:40,460
I was wondering... Yes?
20
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,280
Whether you were having any trouble with
your water.
21
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,440
Water is something that has never
troubled me.
22
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:48,760
No.
23
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:50,360
No.
24
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:53,480
That was just an excuse, of course.
25
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:59,840
I have been a marriage guidance
counselor and a Samaritan. If I could
26
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:00,840
all. No!
27
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,880
Just to pay for the one you broke.
28
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:12,360
Mrs. Locke, I have a friend in
Alcoholics Anonymous. Will you get the
29
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,360
of here?
30
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:18,920
Don't be a Samaritan to the strippers in
Soho. I've done my best to be
31
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,420
understanding, Mr. Lockwood. Really,
these rows are quite intolerable. I
32
00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:23,440
make a complaint to the landlord.
33
00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:45,330
did I keep them for?
34
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:48,690
Mementos of mediocrity.
35
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:54,470
A day's success has to be paid for.
36
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:57,530
Failure comes a bit more expensive.
37
00:03:57,910 --> 00:04:01,790
And I have to pay for your failure.
38
00:04:03,070 --> 00:04:04,270
Richard Mellor.
39
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:06,950
Old Dickie.
40
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,630
Damn his guts.
41
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:32,850
Damn PAs, damn PROs, and damn all the
jerks who can't keep a deadline.
42
00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:38,910
You haven't done much today, have you?
43
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,370
Well, moving these stones does my back
in.
44
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:46,330
If you went to the osteopath, whose
name, address, and telephone number I
45
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:48,250
you, you wouldn't have a bad back. I
don't want an osteopath. I just want
46
00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:49,290
minutes' peace, please.
47
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:55,080
You've had a whole day's peace while
I've been seeing 20 dumb models. Oh, and
48
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,080
fixing the air tickets.
49
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,680
Hotel.
50
00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:59,060
Italian PR.
51
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,360
An absolute idiot.
52
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,340
Taking to see if I can get 40 dresses
through customs in Rome.
53
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:09,220
Make sure I've got the hairdresser I
want to not stand in.
54
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,980
Why the hell do you still read Variety?
55
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:21,620
Think you're going to make Broadway?
56
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:23,980
Nostalgia, my love.
57
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,780
I did make Toronto once.
58
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,220
Where did you put my clothes?
59
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,220
Clothes? My dry cleaning.
60
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:35,580
Oh, God.
61
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:37,200
Oh, that means you haven't collected it.
62
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:42,160
It's too late. They're closed now. Look,
I'll go first thing tomorrow morning. I
63
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,140
leave the house at eight. That means
I've got to go shopping when I get there
64
00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,060
boil in wool in Rome.
65
00:05:50,730 --> 00:05:52,490
I'm sorry, my mind was on other things.
66
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:57,030
Yes, I've got to go to the theatre now,
too. Now, what for? It's early.
67
00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:58,930
Well, we have an equity meeting.
68
00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:03,570
I haven't told you the show closes on
Saturday.
69
00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,270
And it's most unlikely we'll get paid.
70
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,830
When did you last get paid for anything?
71
00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:12,750
It's rough on the others, that's all.
72
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:17,510
Because they are not subsidised by wives
who fly first class.
73
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,120
To boil in wool in Rome.
74
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,100
What time is the night boat to Dublin?
75
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,940
Yes, yes, I said Dublin.
76
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:41,300
And what train from London would connect
with that?
77
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,800
Is that the first train?
78
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,720
And what time does that arrive in
Dublin?
79
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,760
Dickie. Good Lord.
80
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,280
Do you still live over there?
81
00:08:58,780 --> 00:08:59,780
Yes, yes.
82
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,160
Still full of actors?
83
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:03,880
Well, there's one or two of us left.
84
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,280
Are you off somewhere?
85
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,640
Yes. Well, parents, what a dirty
weekend.
86
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:15,540
One of the Puritan English would
describe a lover's meeting as a dirty
87
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,080
No, no, those days are over, dear boy.
88
00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:22,950
When do you go?
89
00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:27,430
Well, I've got a couple of hours to kill
before I check in at the airport.
90
00:09:27,770 --> 00:09:31,670
Oh, because I was just going down the
road for a snifter. Ah, my local pub.
91
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,270
Well, I can do with a drink.
92
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:34,990
Oh, good.
93
00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:37,170
Good.
94
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,330
Is this your car?
95
00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:44,490
Yes, yes. It was a present from Melissa
a few years back. Oh, my God.
96
00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:48,390
Melissa! I think I need that drink.
97
00:09:50,220 --> 00:09:51,500
Oh, it's nice to see you.
98
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,340
Because we never made this, did we, Gus?
99
00:09:55,660 --> 00:09:57,920
I carried a spear here once. Oh, yes.
100
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,900
Because I'm working down the road,
actually.
101
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,100
Ah.
102
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:06,280
But not that play that... Not the worst
notices I've read in 30 years, yes.
103
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:08,780
Yes,
104
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,560
we close on Saturday.
105
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:13,720
Yeah, well, I didn't see your name
outside the theatre.
106
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:15,880
No, well, I've only got a very, very
small part.
107
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,240
I'm understudying as well.
108
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,300
Were we bad, or was he just bad luck
that our names aren't up there?
109
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,060
Fergus Locke in King Lear.
110
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,640
Yes.
111
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:37,500
Richard Miller in Pygmalion. I think I
was a rather good Professor Higgins.
112
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,240
In New Zealand.
113
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:43,440
What the hell do you need to play big
boys?
114
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:48,480
I've heard that Melissa's whatever the
female of a tycoon is.
115
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,040
Or tycoonette.
116
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,240
Oh, yes, she's got a chain of boutiques
from here to Miami.
117
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,380
So why don't you sit back and pack it
in?
118
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:03,480
Well, because... Because I think she's
left me, Gus.
119
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,800
She's gone to do a fashion show in Rome.
120
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:08,960
She's got a little chap there, I know
that.
121
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,320
And I don't expect her back.
122
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:16,920
She will settle in some tax haven
somewhere with her gigolo.
123
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,660
Everything's in her name. All I've got
is a car.
124
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,760
So, I'm an understudy.
125
00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:26,280
It's out of work now, too.
126
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:32,120
Well, if I'd known, I'd have called you.
127
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,960
Even after 25 years.
128
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:36,620
Sympathy? No, no.
129
00:11:37,540 --> 00:11:38,540
Satisfaction.
130
00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:41,260
Because you, you bastard, you took her
from me.
131
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,680
If it hadn't been for that, we might
have stayed friends.
132
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,980
I've often misjudged us.
133
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:53,380
We'd have rambled on like old ham do,
but theatrical digs and disastrous
134
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:58,220
Yes, playing in... Oh, do you remember
now? What the hell was the name of the
135
00:11:58,220 --> 00:11:59,920
play? End of the Brighton Pier.
136
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:03,900
Oh, that's right, that's right. It was
the middle of a foresake game.
137
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,260
Waves coming through the waves. And I
had to say the line, it's so quiet up
138
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:08,260
here.
139
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,100
And we both collapsed.
140
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,280
So did the audience. All six.
141
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:16,020
Two more, Kathleen.
142
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:18,930
And I'll have a packet of those cigars.
143
00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:21,190
Is
144
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:31,850
that
145
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,050
pub time or real time?
146
00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:34,550
That's right by the radio.
147
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:43,150
Only in a Puritan country like England
would they set pub talks five minutes
148
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,730
fast. Make you drink up so much.
149
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:48,150
Oh, sorry.
150
00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:49,410
Water.
151
00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:56,270
I said,
152
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,510
did you want water?
153
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,670
Oh, yes. Yes, please.
154
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:04,270
Sir, what have you been up to lately?
155
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:11,450
Oh, uh, walk -ons in TV, you know. I,
uh, I model a bit now.
156
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:14,990
Clothes for the older man, you know,
insurance ad.
157
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,490
Plan for a happy retirement.
158
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,670
I should hate your guts.
159
00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:29,290
Well, time cures all things.
160
00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:31,350
So they say.
161
00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:32,890
25 years.
162
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,310
Haven't stopped me loving Melissa.
163
00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:45,330
Ah, well, a woman is only a woman, but a
good cigar is a smoke.
164
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,790
Was that from some play we were in?
Sounds like Noel Card.
165
00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:50,550
No, no.
166
00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:51,890
It's Rudyard Kipling.
167
00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:56,290
Could I... Help yourself.
168
00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:57,930
Thank you.
169
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,510
Do you remember the old story about the
two girls?
170
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:03,590
One says to the other, Do you like
Kipling?
171
00:14:04,190 --> 00:14:06,490
And the other one says, Well, I don't
know. I haven't done it yet.
172
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:14,930
Do you remember the lovely Noel Card
story?
173
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,040
He was rehearsing some romantic piece of
his.
174
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:22,200
And the ingenue was a girl called
Maureen Clopp.
175
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:26,900
So when Noel saw the proofs of the
bills, he took her aside and he said,
176
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:31,420
Darling, you're a lovely girl in a
lovely play, but I really can't have my
177
00:14:31,420 --> 00:14:33,160
on the bill with someone called Maureen
Clopp.
178
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:38,440
So go away, darling, and come back
tomorrow and tell me some nice new
179
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:43,080
name you've found for yourself. So she
went home and came back the following
180
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,330
day. And Noel said, have you found that
name, darling? And she said, yes. And
181
00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:48,330
Noel said, tell me.
182
00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,450
And so she said, Diana Klopp.
183
00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:56,270
Yes, yes, I remember.
184
00:14:58,050 --> 00:14:59,210
Did you know him, Dickie?
185
00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:00,590
No, no.
186
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:02,850
Then why do you call him Noel?
187
00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,670
Oh, God, Gus.
188
00:15:07,070 --> 00:15:08,770
It's an old actor's habit. We all do it.
189
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:11,330
How was the marriage?
190
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,380
There was a boy and a girl.
191
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,200
And where are they?
192
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:21,080
The boy's in New York.
193
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:26,740
And the girl does some sort of work with
children.
194
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,400
I've rather lost touch with her.
195
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,600
Doesn't sound as though the love match
worked out.
196
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,460
Well, I never made it as an actor, and
Melissa was a great success.
197
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:41,440
She got in on the 60s boom, then she
went in for ethnic stuff, you know, left
198
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,440
hands and all that.
199
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:45,000
And then she made workmen's overalls a
rage.
200
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,540
So now there are girls all over the
world walking around with a label
201
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:50,540
their bottoms.
202
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:56,580
Whatever happened to that ghastly girl
she was at art school with?
203
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,700
Short legs and freckles and screwed back
hair. Do you remember? She was a little
204
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:03,800
dumpy and had to have every joke
explained to her twice.
205
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,580
Gosh, she was awful.
206
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:09,600
Smelt like the inside of a tart handbag.
What was her name?
207
00:16:10,940 --> 00:16:11,940
Audrey.
208
00:16:13,329 --> 00:16:16,670
Yes. Whatever happened to her, did she
ever get anywhere? No, not far.
209
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,310
She married me.
210
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,090
I'm sorry.
211
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:31,750
Oh, God!
212
00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:33,290
Oh, God, that was funny!
213
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:38,990
I wish I'd heard that description all
those years ago when I asked her to
214
00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:39,990
me.
215
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:42,670
On the reaper.
216
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,090
When you stole Melissa.
217
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:51,290
Gosh. Oh, yes, you did, you devious
bloody liar.
218
00:16:52,430 --> 00:16:56,410
And the pair of you like burglars who
mess up the carpets.
219
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,230
You messed up my life.
220
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:05,050
Two more, Kathleen.
221
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:06,710
No, no, this is my round.
222
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:10,550
Diet, then.
223
00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:13,329
The same again, please.
224
00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:22,829
How was your marriage?
225
00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:26,550
Bust, like yours.
226
00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:28,750
We couldn't have children.
227
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:34,070
Then she found out that I was
chronically unfaithful.
228
00:17:34,990 --> 00:17:37,930
So she took to religion and illness.
229
00:17:41,550 --> 00:17:43,710
When she wasn't in church, she was in
hospital.
230
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:46,230
Thank you.
231
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:48,930
Well, Melissa was always doing the place
up.
232
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:51,970
If we weren't converting the attic, we
had to have a patio.
233
00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:53,490
It was yesterday.
234
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:55,750
With unpaid labour, mind.
235
00:17:57,150 --> 00:18:03,950
Melissa... was... And I've... I've known
236
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:04,950
a few.
237
00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:09,310
The most beautiful woman...
238
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,480
Dressed or undressed, I have ever seen.
239
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,540
You know who she reminds me of?
240
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:19,820
No?
241
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,740
You know what reminds me of her?
242
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:31,220
Every time I see a picture of Marilyn
Monroe.
243
00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:37,700
The hair that was blonde without being
blonded.
244
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:45,300
The vulnerable, red mouth that was like
a kiss without being kissed.
245
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,320
Is she a gentleman?
246
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,580
It was written off, not trash.
247
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,200
Oh.
248
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,780
Bloody hell, with her, my whole life
might have been different.
249
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,300
Work, sex, and everything.
250
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:03,620
Gosh, that's fantastic.
251
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,190
So what are you going to do when your
show closes?
252
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:13,950
Take a break.
253
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:16,610
On what's left in our joint account.
254
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:20,890
Go back to where I grew up, south of
Norfolk.
255
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:22,470
Find a pub somewhere.
256
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:26,110
Yes,
257
00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:30,370
Audrey and I used to go cruising on the
Norfolk Roads.
258
00:19:31,850 --> 00:19:33,010
We'd hire a boat, you know.
259
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,000
Boring flat concrete.
260
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,580
Too much water.
261
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,920
Over by the barn. Quick, move. Come on,
poke it over there.
262
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,060
You're not the kind of chap who carries
a gun. That's not real. It's real, all
263
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:08,200
right. You know when I got it? When you
ran off with Melissa.
264
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,560
Don't move, Kathleen.
265
00:20:09,780 --> 00:20:11,940
I didn't come in here for the sake of
your company.
266
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:14,600
I thought if anything goes wrong, you
might tempt me with an alibi.
267
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,180
And now it has gone wrong.
268
00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:17,620
Stay where you are, Kathleen.
269
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,720
I wouldn't want to shoot a girl from
Galway.
270
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,220
Mr. Murphy!
271
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,580
Mr. Murphy!
272
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,620
He's that murderer. Give him a chance.
273
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:29,620
He never had a chance in all his life.
Mr. Murphy!
274
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,600
Come on, come on, I never make it.
275
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,080
Come on, I've got to be on that boat.
I've got to be on that boat tonight.
276
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:29,960
Come on!
277
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,420
Hell of a place to end here.
278
00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:36,500
Oh, no.
279
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:38,800
Oh, no.
20874
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