All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s04e09_the_best_policy

Bye.

Is this about the Mariposa branch?

Yes, sir.

The Mariposa branch?

The Mariposa branch. I have a letter
here.

Oh, well, this is most peculiar.

It alleges... Irregularities at the
Mariposa branch.

Well, what regularities do we have at
the Mariposa branch?

None that I know of, sir.

This letter states that this man...
Flock, sir? Flock, yes, Flock.

Who's Flock?

Acting manager, sir. Mr. Pierce, the
regular died, sir. Flock, a minor clerk

temporarily taken over the duties of the
deceased manager because... Why?

He knows the computer, sir. We intend to
replace him as soon as possible, of

course. This letter accuses the acting
manager of irregularities.

Embezzlement. Yes, sir.

Is that possible?

It's highly unlikely, sir. However, we
shall investigate at once.

I'm curious.

An anonymous letter should arrive
shortly after the branch manager's

Oh, how did he die?

Mr. Pierce died of perfectly natural
causes, sir. Oh, yes.

Well, I'll leave it in your capable
hands. Oh, yes, sir.

A leaking ship is a sinking ship,
Philbert. Yes, sir. The same goes for a

Plug up that leak. Yes, sir.

Oh, Philbert. Yes, sir.

The natural causes of Mr. Pierce's
death, what were they?

He choked, sir.

Ah, on a piece of meatloaf.

Come on, eat up, Harry, otherwise you're
going to be late for work.

What is this?

Oh, that's sea kelp. You know, there's
nothing better to keep the system clean

as a whistle.

Remember poor Mr. Pierce?

Yes.

Gorging himself all the time on that
heavy meat.

Harry,

come on, finish that sea kelp because
I've got a nice soybean patty to follow.

What's that?

A hamburger for Punky.

Where is that dog?

Punky? Punky, come here, boy.

Time is money.

Harry Flock, you are not leaving the
breakfast table until you finish your

soybean patty. Now, you know that
breakfast is the cornerstone of the day.

quite full. Thank you, my dear. It's
amazing how sea kelp fills the stomach.

Okay, Harry, now let me fix your tie.

Is it all right? Uh -huh.

But, yup.

Thank you. Now, let me look at you.

Harry Flock.

Bank manager.

Acting bank manager. Oh, sure. But
that's just until they see how competent

are. Competency is seldom rewarded, my
dear. What they're looking for is

charisma. Pierce with his capped teeth
and his waxed mustache. Oh, sure. Mr.

Pierce had a very fine set of teeth.

But he certainly didn't know anything
about his computers.

Not like you did.

Yes. Still, if one little thing goes
wrong...

Nothing is going to go wrong.

Nothing much has gone right with my
life.

Except you.

Oh, Harry.

It's true.

Pierce kept me a little humpback mole
toiling away.

Well, all that's changed now.

There you go.

Bye -bye, honey. Bye. Have a good day.
You too.

You know, I just can't get over this
feeling of impending doom. What could go

wrong? Yes.

That's your right, of course. What could
go wrong?

Bye -bye. Goodbye.

Pokey! Pokey, where are you?

Come here, Pokey.

Oh, my Pokey, where were you? Mama was
looking all over for you.

I had your husband already.

Yes. Oops, hold on.

Here you go, Pokey. Wait till you see
what Mama has for you.

Mrs. Runyon?

Morning, Peterson.

Over.

Filbert, Main Branch. This is Wheatley.
Bank examiner. Mr.

Fluke. Flock. We are here to run a
check.

A check? I don't understand.

There's nothing to be alarmed about.
It's just a routine once over. Mr.

Flock, if you'll just produce the
printouts for the past month as well as

collateral ledgers. Produce the
printouts, of course.

I hope there's no suspicion of any
irregularities. I've never had any

or... No, no, Mr. Blue. Flock, this is
just a formality. You know our motto,

when in doubt... Check it out. I heard
that, yes.

Now, if I can just, um, excuse me.

I mean, I never...

Ah, there's never been the slightest
doubt of it. My books are impeccable.

no, no, Mr. Clark, I'm certain of that.
There's no need to get upset.

All right, everybody.

Everybody back to your places, please.

Please.

I just can't comprehend why you... I
know from time to time little... And yet

Mr. Pierce was never audited.

I've always prided myself on my
property.

A small community like this, you know,
the slightest hint of suspicion, rumors

spread like wildfire. My reputation's at
stake. Mr. Pierce died where?

Oh, at this very desk where you're
sitting now.

He just fixed himself a cup of tea.

He...

He took the last bite of his meatloaf
sandwich and gagged.

Tea, anyone?

Yes, that would be nice.

He'll like this. It's herb tea.

My wife grows it in our own little
garden.

Pierce, blessed soul, loved my wife's
herb tea.

I think I'll forego the tea, Mr. Flock.

Well, I must... Say, Mr... Flock. You've
done an admirable job. I've never seen

books so immaculately in balance.

My compliments.

It's a lovely, lovely piece of work.

Thank you. Well, Philbert, my work is
done.

I wish the books and all our branches
were as finely tuned as Mr... Flock's.

Well, uh, thank you for your time,
Wheatley.

If they went over the books in such
great detail, then they must know what a

wonderful job you're doing.

Yeah. You know, Harry, I don't think
it's going to be much longer before...

Harry, honey, what's wrong?

Hmm? You barely touched your gluten
cutlet.

I'm sorry. I don't seem to have much of
an appetite. A visit from the bank

examiner is a very upsetting experience.

Well, that's only if you have something
to hide.

You know they were treating me as if I
had committed murder.

Really? Yeah.

as though I was suspect in the death of
Mr. Pierce.

My goodness.

That seems awfully unfair, though.

I offered them some herb tea.

They were afraid to drink it. Afraid to
drink herb tea? Yes.

You know, there's really nothing more
helpful.

Of course not. There's nothing one can
drink as helpful as your herb tea.

I can't imagine anybody suspecting you
of killing Mr. Pierce.

Where would they get such an idea?

Another anonymous letter. It ain't got
irregularities at the Mariposa branch. I

thought you told me Wheatley checked it
out. He did, sir. He said that

everything was in very good order and
that Flock had done a lovely job. Well,

this letter says that Flock manipulated
the computer. He should have known

better that the books were too well
balanced.

Is that possible?

Wheatley did say they were the most
perfectly balanced set of books he'd

come across.

All right, you go down there with
Wheatley again and you go over

a fine -tooth comb. And don't come back
until you've gotten to the bottom of

this. It'll take Simpson with you.

Simpson, sir? The bank detective?

This letter is more explicit.

It goes into detail about meatloaf and
tea.

Meatloaf and teas. There are intimations
here.

Sir? A foul play concerning Mr. Pierce.

What's your opinion, Mrs. Runyon? Mr.
Flock is doing an acceptable job in Mr.

Pierce's position.

Mr. Flock is a very competent operative,
and with the new computers, he's just a

whiz. Mr. Grunge, what's your opinion?

I am on to him. I am on to Flocky.
Wilbur. No, no, no, no. Let's hear Mr.

Grunge out. Grunge?

Well, he's supposed to be this big
vegetarian, vegetarian, my foot. I have

him eat hot dogs, and more than once.
Mr. Grunge is bitter.

He was in line for Mr. Pierce's job
until Flock caught him in a boo -boo. It

$1 .67.

I was humiliated for $1 .67.

What's going on?

Oh, Mr.

Flock, I hope you don't mind. I took the
liberty of having everyone come in

early. There's still a few minor
problems to clear up. What minor

sure they have nothing to do with me. We
hope not, Mr. Flock. We certainly hope

not.

Magnificent. Magnificent.

You check, read, check, and triple
check.

Mr. Flock, I am genuinely impressed.

I have never seen books in such sublime
balance.

Fine, then whatever problems you're
having have nothing to do with me.

These should be bronzed and hung in a
museum.

That's beautiful.

Now, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I
have a lot of work to do.

Not so fast.

Simpsons, Main Branch, Internal
Security.

This is Mr. Flock.

I deduced as much.

Now then, Mr. Flock.

We want to make it completely clear to
you that you are under absolutely no

suspicion.

No suspicion?

You come in here questioning my fellow
workers. You steal my fingerprints. You

muck around in my books. Your books, Mr.
Flock?

I believe you were present when Mr.
Pierce met with his unfortunate

Yes, I was. I was in the vicinity.

He had a cup of tea.

Is that correct?

Yes. Herb tea?

Yes. Your wife's tea?

Yes, yes, yes!

Why am I being subjected to this?

Look, I'm only interested in doing my
job.

My sole concern is, as it always has
been, for the good of the bank. Do you

I've given my best years to this bank?
When I first started working here, my

eyesight was 20 -20.

Take a look at these now. Where are you?
Can you see that? Look how thick they

are. The hump on my back keeps growing
from toiling over the books. I wake up

the middle of the night in a cold sweat
for fear that I've shorted the bank a

nickel or a dime.

There, there, Mr. Flock. Pull yourself
together.

Don't you understand?

This is a very small town.

You're ruining my reputation.

Look. Look. My co -workers.

My dear co -workers, the most loyal
people in the world. Just look at the

and suspicion on their faces.

Someone is trying to sabotage me.

Why? Why?

Surely your investigations have shown
nothing.

Whatever you're looking for, you've
either found or not found by now.

Mr. Flock, please, simmer down.

Why don't you make us all a nice cup of
herb tea?

Tea?

Yes, of course.

Tell me, Mr. Flock, is this the same tea
Mr.

Pierce had on the day... Yes, of course.

I'll take that.

That's my tea.

It was Mr. Pierce's tea. It was enough.
It was shared by all.

Then it's time the main branch had its
share.

That man took my tea.

What's the matter, Harry? Didn't you
like the cashew casserole? They sent a

detective to question me. A detective.

Astonishing. Mr. Bullock has a great
deal to consider. Now, if there's a

suspicion of an irregular... Harry?

Honey?

Guess what we're having for dessert.

What? Your favorite.

Avocado whip.

I don't want any.

Harry, have you been sneaking hot dogs?

Because you know what happened to Mr.
Pierce with those hot dogs and that

meatloaf and... Yes, dear, yes.

Harry, it's very important under these
trying times that you keep your health

up. Oh, Daisy.

You're so good to me. What would I do
without you?

What do any of these have to do with the
herb tea?

I have deduced, sir. Oh, you have
deduced. Well, I have deduced. You're a

Yes, sir.

According to this lab report, apart from
being foul -tasting bilge, Mrs.

Flock's herb tea is utterly harmless.

Dust particles, hair samples,
fingerprints.

Is that what I'm paying you for?

It is standard procedure, sir.

Well, you get to the heart of the
matter, man.

Well, but tell him what the heart of the
matter is. The heart of the matter,

sir? The corpus delecti.

Corpus delecti. Would you check out the
body?

Get in touch with the proper
authorities. I want an autopsy performed

man Pierce. I will not count its petty
embezzlement a murder, for that matter,

in any of my branch banks. Of course
not, sir.

A leaking ship. It is a sinking ship,
yes, sir. Yes.

If this man Flock has poisoned this man
Pierce...

I want to know about it. Sir, the corpus
delecti will be looked into.

Mr. Filbert?

Yes? We found something very
interesting.

Come with me.

I have just been through the most
grueling experience.

Pierce's body has been exhumed.

Exhumed? You realized we'd have to do
it? The circumstances surrounding his

death? The letters we've been receiving?

Letter? Accusing you of the most
extraordinary behavior.

Now, the coroner has found... What?

The coroner's found what?

Pierce.

Had two gallbladders.

Rare, the coroner said, rare. But other
than that, the circumstances of his

death were perfectly normal.

As normal as a death can be when one
chokes on a piece of meatloaf.

Two gallbladders.

You dug up poor Pierce's body to
discover only that he had two

Well, this has been a great strain on
all of us. I realize it's been an

imposition on you. I cannot tell you how
terribly sorry I am, but we did have

the letters.

You have pushed me to the brink and
over.

I have been maligned, abused, my
character spattered with mud.

Flock, Flock, keep your voice down.

No! No, no!

on the bounds of reason. This whole
dreary matter must be settled now. I'm

to finish this thing right now. Fuck,
fuck. Where are you going? To the main

branch. I'm going to settle this thing.
This persecution must cease. I'm going

to finish it once and for all.

Fuck.

Flock, acting manager of Mariposa
Branch.

Flock. Oh, yes, Flock.

Oh, it's a nasty business, this whole
thing.

Nasty business?

Sir, I have been maligned, humiliated,
accused of the most outrageous crimes.

Calm down, Flock.

These little things happen, you know. I
don't call being suspected of

embezzlement and murder a little thing.
Look, a week ago, I didn't even know

your name.

Now I have a stack of reports on you,
and it seems you're doing a bang -up job

for us out there. No more.

What? As of this moment, I resign. My
career in shambles, my life in ruin. Do

you know that my own co -workers look at
me like I'm a common thief? Or worse,

I'm a young man. I have a wife to
consider.

I understand how you feel. I think a
great injustice has been done to you,

I'm going to make it my personal
responsibility to see that your good

restored. Impossible!

Pierce's job is still open.

Doubles.

Okay.

My hairy bank manager. Not acting bank
manager, but the real thing.

From the vicious attack of a hostile
fanatic has come a marvelous good.

Yes, the trouble with being an honest
man is that nobody ever knows it. I

have gone years without my honesty being
there.

I only have one regret.

What's that?

My last letter.

Oh, Harry, it was a masterpiece.

In it, I accuse you of being a notorious
embezzler.

Well, no sense in sending it now.

No, dear, no more letters. The others
quite did the job.

Sure did.

Well, tonight for dinner, I've prepared
something very, very special. Tonight

for dinner on this special occasion,
dinner is my treat.

Chump boots?

Oh, Harry.

Very. That's very, very wicked of you.

Yes, I know.

Mmm.

Hamburgers. Hot dogs.

French fries.

Mmm. Thank you.

Try the corn dog. Where's the corn dog?
Here.

Oh, a corn dog. I bought that.

Where's the pickles?