All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s03e09_the_party

28 more shopping days till Christmas.

It's the longest month of my life.

Did you say something, dear?

Not that I was aware of.

Not a moment. I thought you were talking
to yourself.

It's cold outside.

Wouldn't be surprised if we had a white
Christmas.

This year, my dear, we're going to have
a black Christmas. Black?

Why black?

All Christmases are black. Some are
blacker than others.

It's a season of rush and crush.

Drinking and drunks.

Jobs undone. Letters unanswered.

That was a Christmas card.

Much too early.

Above all, it's the season of the office
party.

The office party is the bane of my life.

Couldn't you get young Leighton to
organise it? He seems a very capable

He may seem a very capable sort.

He may think he's a very capable sort.
He's merely a very ambitious sort.

which isn't quite the same thing.

In this country, if you want something
done properly, you have to do it

yourself. I have been organising the
office party now for the last 30 years.

During that time, I dread to think how
many bottles of sherry and how many

pies have gone down their greedy
gullets. I don't know why bother.

Everybody hates it.

Why do you say that? I love it. You
know, Mrs Peckham simply lives for it.

Mrs Peckham is 110 and has not anything
else to live for. Of course, the

pensioners like it. Gives them a chance
to talk over old times.

We've got more pensioners now at
Peckhams than we have actual staff.

Dozens of them in wheelchairs, on
crutches, shuffling, snuffling, cracking

their teeth, talking at the top of their
voices, slurping the sherry, munching

the mince pies, crunching the chips,
grabbing at everything that's going, or

merely sitting slumped in a chair with a
paper cap on their head.

Our office parties are a living argument
for euthanasia. One day, I'm going to

put brown glass in the mince pies,
cyanide in the sherry, salt the chips

arsenic, and give an office party to end
all office parties. You're tired,

darling. You always get overwrought at
this time of the year. Now, tuck your

scarf in properly. I'm not overwrought.
I'm not underwrought. I'm merely fed up,

as I have every right to be.

Premier exercice.

Quel beau temps aujourd 'hui,
mademoiselle. Quel beau temps aujourd

mademoiselle.

À Noël, il ne fait pas.

Darling. Do you know how long I've been
at Peckham's? Yes, dear, I do. Forty

years, and you've done very well. Now
you're the general manager. General

body. Why do you say that? Mr. Peckham
thinks the world of you. Mr. Peckham's a

senile old fool.

He's not old.

You don't have to be old to be senile.

Mr. Peckham was born senile.

Nous avons une soirée bien agréable.

Bonne nuit.

Bonne nuit.

For a change.

All his temps get tempier and tempier.

I don't know.

We get him women in their 60s. We get
him grandmothers.

And he still can't keep his hands to
himself. Cheers.

Yes, well, I can only tell you he's the
perfect gentleman with me.

Yes, well, I wouldn't be if I was in his
position.

Oh, where's your boss?

Isn't he with Peckham?

I thought he was.

And Peckham thinks he should be.

But he doesn't appear to be anywhere.

I don't know what's happening to him.

You're not the first person to say that.
It's always a trifle on edge around

Christmas. It's still four weeks to
Christmas.

I think I know what's worrying him.

What? The takeover.

The what?

Takeover. It's a merger, not a takeover,
and you're not supposed to know

anything about it yet. There's very
little in this building that I don't

especially now I'm taking Peckham's
letters.

Well, I'll tell you something.

Though if you breathe a word about it to
anyone, I'll kill you.

The deed's as good as done.

Leclerc will be in this office in
another week or two's time to settle and

And when that's done, no one's job is
safe. Not yours, not mine, not even

Knox's.

And that, incidentally, is why I want
the party to go off with a bang.

Eat, drink and be merry, but tomorrow
we're redundant.

You don't mean it, do you?

Well, the junior staff is safe, but I'm
not sure about the others and I

certainly wouldn't like to be in Knox's
shoes.

That's good.

Can't imagine Peckhams without Knox.

No.

No, neither can I.

But when Peckhams becomes Peckham and
Leclerc, or worse, if it becomes Leclerc

and Peckham and the head office moves to
Brussels, we shall have an entirely new

regime.

Oh.

And don't forget, he hardly speaks a
word of French. He's been trying very

to learn.

I know he has, but he's left it about 40
years too late.

And none of us is really safe.

which is why, as I said, it will be the
party of parties.

I want there to be gay abandon till
dawn.

Ah, Mr Knox.

I do believe Mr Peckham was looking for
you.

Mr Peckham has found me, thank you.
There is such a thing, you know, as an

internal telephone, which I'm pleased to
say Mr Peckham has now learnt to use.

It was very nice of you to come in
search. Yes.

What were you saying about a party?

A party? A party.

Oh, that's just something small we're
having at the George. Oh, I see.

Not the office party.

Well, you see, the office party is
rather... The office party is what, Miss

Lake? Well, what I'm trying to explain
is that the party at the George is for

youngsters, really. It's a disco
dancing, that sort of thing.

Of course, the office party is for old
fogies like Mr Peckham, Mr Peckham's

mother and myself.

Do you know how long I've been at
Peckham's?

Forty years. Rather longer, I fancy,
than you've been on the earth.

During that time, we've managed to see
the old year out without discos.

There can be no question of Peckhams
paying for a disco. But Peckhams

have to pay.

Wouldn't it? No, of course not. This is
a private party, though of course you'd

be perfectly welcome to come and bring
your wife. Oh, that is kind of you. I

rather fancy Mrs. Knox and I will be
otherwise engaged that evening.

Well, now, perhaps if you'll get back to
your work and allow this young lady to

get back to hers.

Yes.

You going to the disco?

I haven't thought about it. It's some
time away.

When are they planning to have it?

Um, December the 20th, I think.

December the 20th?

That's the day before the office party.

The office party's going to be rather a
come -down after that, isn't it?

What are sherry and mince pies?

Compared to discos, canned beer,
Bacardi, rum. Bacardi is rum.

You seem to know more about these things
than I do.

Martinis, Camparis, drinks I'd never
even heard of when I was your age. Of

course, there are more dark corners in
the George, aren't there?

Forty -watt bulbs, if I remember
correctly.

I'm surprised they haven't lost their
license. Oh, yes, the office bar is

to be a comedown, all right. Not much
fun for you young people.

My mother wouldn't miss it for anything.

I'm not talking about your mother. I'm
talking about you.

Well, it's a tradition.

Well, it's not likely to stay a
tradition much longer.

If you people are going to have orgies
at the George, we might as well scrap

One lump or two.

Sorry to barge in like this, sir, but
something rather urgent has cropped up.

Urgent? It's about the party.

Party? The Christmas party.

Well, it's not Christmas yet, is it? It
will be in four weeks. Will it now? How

time flies.

Can I ask you to take that in hand? The
party, I mean.

I'm already doing so, sir. I've been
organising the office party for the last

years. I do feel it should be taken over
by a younger man. Quite understand?

Quite understand.

Try young Leighton. Seems a very capable
sort.

Not quite what I mean, sir. I've no
objection to organising the office

It's not what they want.

They are planning a disco.

A what?

A disco, sir. Basically, it's a
gramophone, records and dancing, if you

it dancing.

It's not the sort of thing I fancy
myself.

The wife has a slipped disc. But if
that's what you want... Of course it's

what I want. It isn't? Good heavens, no.

Well, then, damn it, what do you want?

I'm a fairly busy man, you know.

Mr. Peckham, do you know how long I've
been with this firm?

Is this some sort of riddle?

As a point of interest, do you know how
long I've peed with Peckhams?

As a matter of fact, somebody mentioned
it to me the other day.

Forty years. And for the last thirty, I
have been organising the office party.

Still don't know what you're getting at.

Mr Peckham, if the disco is going to be
on the 20th, what is the point of having

the office party on the 21st? I don't
see any sense in having party after

night after night.

Neither do I, really, but after all,
Christmas is Christmas, isn't it?

I'm your teddy bear.

I love you.

Jolly, isn't it?

Yes. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Beckham. I'll
come back. Oh, come in. Come in, Gary.

Sit yourself down.

Mr. Knox and I have just finished.

Yes, well, if you'll excuse me, sir.

I like it when you stroke my fur.

Now then, Gary, what do you think about
this? Just right for Christmas?

Take me to bed with you every night.

But I thought you liked lamb casserole.

Is that what it was?

Oh, delicious.

You've hardly touched it.

I'm slightly off food.

You seem to me to be more than slightly
off everything.

If you're upset about something, why
don't we talk about it?

I've been speaking to Mrs. Peckham.

Is it true the company's going to be
taken over?

Is that what she told you? No, she
didn't. But she's been hearing all sorts

rumours and claims nobody tells her
anything.

For a woman to whom nobody tells
anything, she seems to know rather too

Oh, so it is going to be taken over.

If that's what the proprietor's wife
says, dear, who am I to deny it? She

all the jobs are going to be absolutely
safe, especially yours.

Peckham's wouldn't be Peckham's without
you, Henry. That may be her opinion. It

may not be the opinion of our new
masters.

To tell you the truth, I don't think I
care very much.

In some ways, I wouldn't be sorry to go.

But Peckham's is your life, Henry.

Peckham's was my life.

Peckham's isn't Peckham's anymore.

You know the trouble I always take with
the office party?

Of course I do, dear.

Having a rival party.

A disco.

It's sabotage.

Sabotage? What is?

Having the disco the night before the
office party.

Well, this morning you said you hated
the office party.

Well, I hate the Albert Memorial. I
don't want it blown up in my face.

I'll tell you what.

Let's have a party of our own that
evening. Remember that little Italian

restaurant on Queen Street? Oh, wasn't
it lovely?

It was expensive.

Yes, but you got value for money.

I got indigestion.

I know. Perhaps you could ask the
Peckhams and make up a fortune. Oh, my

see quite enough of him at the office.
Thank you very much.

Besides, he'd probably leave me to pay
the bill.

That's how the rich stay rich.

No, we're not poor, Henry.

Not yet.

Put out the light, darling.

I put it out.

Fast, fast.

We'll appreciate delays are not uncommon
at this time of the year or in the

congestion at the post office. However,
in order to save you any further

inconvenience, we are dispatching a
fresh confinement of pandas, which we

you will find... Do we have a lunch at
the door?

Sometimes have a sandwich and a beer.
The meals are too pricey. Doesn't seem

stop our Mr. Layton.

What time is it?

Nearly four o 'clock.

He's meant to be Christmas decorations
or an obstacle course.

Did you put them up?

Gary helped me.

Gary? Um, Mr. Leighton. Oh, yes.

Extraordinary. Mr.

Leighton seems to find time to do
everything except what he's supposed to

Well, next time he puts up the
decorations, will you remind him that

grown men in this office who do not wish
to have their brains dashed out with

his wretched baubles?

Your health, monsieur.

Merci, monsieur Pékin. A votre santé et
joyeux Noël.

Yes.

Ah, here you are, Knox. We've just been
talking about you. Now, you've met

Monsieur Leclerc, haven't you? Bonjour,
Monsieur.

Bonjour, Monsieur.

Permettez -moi de vous présenter mon
assistant, Monsieur Noël. Ah, oui. Ah,

Noël, il ne fait pas beau temps.

Et très fois ici en hiver.

Yes.

Anything particularly urgent? Non, pas
du tout.

Je reviens demain matin.

Oh, couldn't it wait until tomorrow
morning?

Parfait.

Parfait? I didn't know he spoke French.

He doesn't.

Blast. It's all right, dear.

It'll soon be over.

I don't know which will be over first,
me or Christmas.

The office closes tomorrow, doesn't it?

Try and be back early, dear.

I've ordered a table at the restaurant
for seven.

Seven? Seven o 'clock, dear. Oh.

Then put on your dinner jacket. We'll do
it in style.

I wear a dinner jacket. Everybody thinks
I'm the head waiter.

You have to explain you're off duty.

You look very elegant in a dinner
jacket.

And I'll have my hair done.

Again? Aren't we overdoing it a bit? No,
dear. You'll be working very hard.

Oh.

Henry, you are clever.

My,

my. We are in a hurry.

Disco time already?

Where are the glasses?

Oh, they haven't sent them yet.

Well, you'd better phone the George.

No, no, no bother.

I'll do it myself.

I don't want to keep you from your
innocent pleasures.

You'll be in early in the morning, won't
you?

There'll be a good deal to do.

Oh, don't worry. I'll be here first
thing.

Looking like a zombie, no doubt, after a
night of debauchery.

Is that the George?

This is Knox of Peckham's.

I want to speak to Mr. Tapstall, please.

How do you mean he's not available?

An important function? Oh, has he?

Well, will you tell him that I have an
important function tomorrow?

And if he doesn't call me back in five
minutes, the order is cancelled.

Moreover, he'll never get another order
from this firm.

Sue? I'm the temp.

Oh, another one.

I'm just going to have a word with Mr
Peckham. Oh, you can't. How do you mean

can't? He's gone to the party at the
George.

They've nearly all gone.

There's hardly a soul in the building.

Aren't you going?

Mr Peckham's gone to the George?

That's what he said.

I'm the only one that hasn't been
invited. Worst luck.

Congratulations.

Disco?

This isn't a disco.

It's a banquet.

Mr. Layton.

Mrs. Layton.

Mrs. Peckham.

Honored guest.

Mr. Peckham.

Honored guest.

I see.

A wedding feast.

The union of Peckhams and the clerk.

Minus Knox.

So this is the climax to the comings and
goings, the furtive looks.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my privilege
to propose the toast of our new

masters, the clerk. As you know, I have
been at Peckham's now for 40 years, man

and boy.

I would like to have stayed a little
longer. You can't expect a man to linger

his own funeral.

However, I cannot let this occasion pass
without paying my tribute to old Mrs.

Peckham, the brains behind the sperm,
who during the second childhood of her

has selected the toys which we have
tried to market.

So, ladies and gentlemen, please be
upstanding and drink the toast of the

of Peckham and Leclerc.

Ladies and gentlemen...

There seems to be a small emergency.

Don't panic. I shall deal with this.

On the other hand...

Goodness, where have you been? And what
are you wearing on your head?

Oh, it's Christmas, dear. I could do
with a drink. You could bring me one in

bath.

Yes, dear.

I'm afraid we're going to be late.
Nonsense. These attendant places stay

till midnight.

I can smell a burning.

I can't smell anything.

Henry! Henry, it's the police!

Typical.

Any idea what's happening?

I've no idea.

I'm afraid we're going to be late.

Yes, we are.

But as long as he's here, we're all
right.

It's the George. The George? What, on
fire?

Yeah, they think it's Arston. In fact,
they're sure it is. One of the barmaids

saw a chap running out of the building.

Well, they'll catch him, I suppose, but
that won't help us much.

Henry. Shall we tell him?

But there's no point in keeping it a
secret now.

Secret? You mean the merger?

There isn't going to be any merger.
That's all over and done with.

That frog fellow wanted us to take on
his name, Leclerc.

I told him to go and jump in the Ghent
Canal.

Peckham's is Peckham's.

What secret?

Oh, let the poor chap out of his agony.

We were planning a dinner here to
celebrate your 40 years with Peckham's.

The press was invited, the mayor, the
lord lieutenant of the county.

I thought we were going to an Italian
restaurant.

You thought we were, but we were really
bringing you to the George.

What was all that about a disco? A
smokescreen.

Darling, it's a presentation for you. A
gold watch.

Swiss. Goes underwater.

Very useful if you should go down with
your ship.

I can't read the inscription.

Anyway, Henry, we're offering you a
place on the board.

Many congratulations and a very happy
Christmas. Happy Christmas. Darling.