All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s03e07_the_stinker

Back at three, Beach.

Very good, sir. And don't do anything I
wouldn't do meantime.

Tinker!

Got you, Tinker!

What shall we do with him? Use him as a
pulpit.

What shall we do with him, Jack? What do
you say?

We'll do anything.

What? Why not?

Nothing. We'll do a Jack White photo.

And I'll go slivelling back again if we
do anything, won't we? We can't just let

him get away with it.

We won't.

We'll call him something.

That way, no one, nor the point, nor
will he, will call him the stinker.

Jack Cutler.

Stinker. Remember me.

Keep it after me, I say.

A stinker is a sniveling telltale. Come
on.

A stinker is a sniveling telltale.

A stinker is a slimy detroit to the
community. Let's hear it.

A stinker is a slimy disgrace to the
community.

A stinker fails in everything he tries.
A stinker fails in everything he tries.

I am a stinker. Say it! Say it! I am a
stinker.

Stinker, stinker, holy Moses, hold your
noses. Stinker, stinker, holy Moses,

hold your noses. Stinker, stinker. Oh,
yes, I remember.

I should hope so.

What are you doing for lunch?

Well, I haven't decided.

You have now.

Fire away, my old dink. Fire away.

I have a glass of port with you,
Stilton, won't you? Oh, no, no. No,

If you ask me, Stilton without port is
like marriage without a bit on the side.

Yes, well, all the same. Suit yourself.

I'll have a large vintage port anyway.

You married?

Yes, yes.

Well, it happens to the best of us.

Mind you, I can't complain.

Married to my business, in a way.

The old boy left her everything.

Chance of a lifetime for yours truly.

I'm not saying we don't have our
problems, shirkers, unions, council

The money's there, no two ways about it.
You've just got to go out and hustle

for it these days.

About time, too. Coffee?

What?

Coffee. Yes, please.

Two coffees, and I'll have another one
of these.

What was I saying?

I was talking about myself too much. I
always do when I eat.

I can't tell you how good it is to see
you again. What are you doing with

yourself, Maud?

I'm a contract estimator for a firm
of... Paint manufacturers.

Picks prices, makes sure nobody's
cheating.

That sort of thing, yeah. Everybody's
cheating on us.

As far as the sweeping generalisation,
isn't it? I'm damn sure some of my boys

are robbing me.

Quite possibly.

Reckon there's any way of stopping that
kind of thing?

Well, if the estimates are properly
checked, certainly.

How much do they pay you at your paint
shop?

£4 ,550 a year.

Skinflints, aren't they?

Come away from me and I'll double it.

You didn't get the drink talking, did
you?

Ah, thank you, Stuart.

Never affects me in the way of business.

What do you say?

Oh, absolutely not.

Why?

I don't like cutlery. School used to
call me the stinker. What?

Tinker, the stinker. Was it a joke on
your name? It wasn't a joke. It caught

People used to hold their nose until I
got near them or pretend not to see me

and walk about saying, ooh, what's that
stink of it?

Honestly. Made my life a misery.

Well, now he's giving you a chance to
change it, and not just your life, our

life. You don't know. Cut that. But I
know the rut we're in, though, don't I?

It's been ten years, Harold. Same house,
same firm, same job.

It's a chance.

A chance at last to change, move, do
things.

And you, because of some stupid joke
someone played on you, what, 30 years

or more, you expect me to stand quietly
by and watch you chuck it away? It

wasn't a joke, don't you understand?
That was what was so diabolical about

He put the finishing touches to the
feeling of inadequacy that my father

into me. He thought I was wet.

To be told every day by my peers that I
was also offensive.

Jack Cutler meant to destroy me, and he
very nearly succeeded.

I think you're making a bit much of it.

It sounds like a typical bit of
adolescent boy's beastliness to me.

And anyway, it's history.

I tried to explain. I know your father
was a monster. I met him, and I've had

live with your woeful insecurity.

This is really being childish.

I'm your wife.

You say you love me. Well, you know I
do.

Then take the job.

At least see if your old school pal
means it.

Please.

For my sake, I want a bit of life before
I die.

Well, we'll see.

Well, we all know what that means, don't
we?

Oh, don't go off like that.

Click. My revolver was empty.

I was surrounded.

And what did you do?

Surrender?

Oh, I mind telling you how, my boy. I
thought about it. Well, I wouldn't have

been human if I hadn't in the
circumstances.

Oh, I thought about it.

And I rejected it.

Unworthy. Yeah.

Put my head down. I charged them.

Laid about me.

Startled the life out of them and got
cleaned through and away.

Oh, I couldn't go blubbing home, could
I?

David couldn't go blabbing home, could
he?

I stood there and he flew Goliath.

And that's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go back to her.

And you're gonna stand up for yourself.

Oh, my God, you'll have to reckon with
me, boy.

I decided I'm gonna take that job.

He means it.

It'll make all the difference.

Let's hope so. Oh, I feel quite
differently about you already.

Oh, quite, quite differently.

What's all this, then?

I thought I made that quite clear. Good
Lord, I haven't got time for all that

rubbish. I've got to get in and go to a
golf this afternoon.

We've only just got back from lunch. All
work and no play makes a chequered old

boy. Isn't that what they say? They also
say that when the cat's away, the mice

will play.

I see it.

All right, give it to me in a nutshell.

Well, um... One of the foremen has been,
um...

He's been working with one of

the sales managers to inflate the cost
of job.

Handpocketing the difference. No, I
can't prove that.

Don't give me all that claptrap.

Well, I can only tell you what the
figures show.

That's the beauty of them. They're
absolutes, like music. You can...

You can fit theories round them.

I mean, there they just are.

Never mind the poetry. I'm paying you to
find out if I'm being swindled.

Oh, unquestionably. They're putting in
false invoices.

How do you know they're false?

Well, the firms don't exist.

You can't get much closer than that, can
you?

How much have they been getting away
with?

Well, in the current financial year, it
amounts to about 10 ,000 pounds.

Does it, by God?

Names? The foreman is Gould.

Len Gould?

Well, that's nice. That's really nice.

I should have pinched him off years ago,
and he begged me to keep him on, said

he'd get bored, and all the time he's...
Which sales manager?

Arlenshaw.

You sure about that?

Positive.

Thank God you changed your mind about
coming to work for me.

The event you keep already.

What will you do?

Sack the pair of them so fast I'll never
know what hit them.

What do you

think of them?

Oh, very nice.

You mean you had places?

Not until you mentioned them. Oh, you're
hopeless.

Then it's good to see you interested in
your work.

Well, it is interesting, and I've got
plenty of scope, and I'm more or less my

own boss.

See?

Left back down, covered a fraud the
other day.

I hope Mr. Cutler was properly
impressed.

I think he was, rather.

You ask me, I think he's trying to make
amends for being so beastly to you at

school. Still calls me stinker. Who
cares?

I do.

That was ready when you were.

Still don't like him.

Good Lord, anybody would think we didn't
know each other.

I'm an employee.

Though just because I use a rose and
have young meats drive me in every

doesn't mean that I'm standoffish.

The rose is good publicity, the best
there is.

And I get driven in every day so I can
get ahead with the mail.

Most of the rest of the time I drive
myself.

You don't have to justify yourself to
me. I don't want you making out that I

forget old friends.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you and your wife come and
have dinner one evening?

Well, and we'll use the road.

My wife, Phyllis, Mr. Cutler. Jack,
Jack, Jack, for heaven's sake. At least

friends call me Phil.

All the comforts of home.

What'll it be?

A gin and tonic, beloved.

Gin, gin makes you sin.

You better have one too, old boy.

I'll have you picked left out in the
cold.

I love that dress.

It's just the first thing I laid my
hands on.

Don't think I've seen it before.

You've given the game away there,
haven't you?

I did a bit.

To tell you the truth, it is new.

Come on, it's lovely.

Leaves a little bit to the imagination,
but not too much.

Cheers. Cheers and cheers.

I was looking forward to meeting you, I
must say, but I had no idea I got such a

treated store.

You're a dark horse, aren't you, my old
stinker? Oh, I said that's what you

called him.

Just to hang out for the school days.

Best years of our lives, isn't that what
they say?

Thank God it isn't true.

I want you to run Mr. and Mrs.

Tinkerhole, Meech. Very good, sir. Oh,
we could get a taxi, couldn't we,

Of course.

What on earth for?

Well, I mean, if it's any trouble.

Oh, it's what he's here for, isn't it,
Meech?

Yes, indeed, sir.

Oh, unless, of course, my poor old car
isn't good enough for you. Well, I'm

my wife... Oh, I'm just pulling your
leg.

You're only teething, Harold. You are
awful.

Not half what I would be if it weren't
for the beady eye of your spouse.

say that dress is really... We're here.

And you behave yourself.

Ah, Blanche.

This is Phil and Harold.

Blanche, my blushing bride.

I didn't realize you were newly married.

We're not.

It's just Jack's incorrigible sense of
humor.

Hello.

Harold, do come and have a drink.

Why, to tell the truth, we're one or two
ahead.

You usually are.

another glass of vino? I wouldn't say
no.

Atta girl.

Right? No, thank you.

No point in asking you, is there?

Oh, no, thank you. All the more for us,
eh?

Jack tells me you and he were great
friends at school.

Oh, yeah? Well, you know what Jack
christened him at school?

The stinker.

Charming. A joke.

Tinker, snicker, tinker, play on words,
that's all. I think there was more to it

than that. Are you sure it wasn't a
comment on his performance?

I'll try with you. You know, with girls.

No, of course not.

I bet it wasn't a punch.

We'll have coffee by the fire, shall we?

Thank

you,

Meech. My pleasure, sir.

Bye.

Thanks.

Oh, what a lovely evening.

Glad you enjoyed that.

Oh, and what a lovely man your friend
Jack is.

My friend is my employer. He's a lovely
man anyway, very certainly. He's a bit

old for you, isn't he?

Look at Tommy. I seem to remember young
door -to -door salesmen being more your

style. I thought we'd agreed to forgive
and forget. Well, we did and I've tried,

but after your behaviour... Don't dance
with me. Don't be such a party pooper.

You bastard, you pushed me over.

You're drunk.

That's a stinking thing to say.

Jack called you the Tinker. It's the
right name for you.

Tinker, Tinker.

Tinker!

I hope you enjoyed yourselves out there.

Well, my wife did.

I got my knuckles wrapped, too, as a
matter of fact.

An attractive lady.

Still, if I did overstep the mark... If
the one and half a dozen of the other?

I'd hate there to be any
misunderstanding.

After all the years we've known each
other.

But look here, I'm afraid Phil got hold
of the wrong end of the stick about that

nickname.

Stinker? Yes, well, she seemed to
think... I mean, damn it, it was only

affectionately.

But if people do get the wrong idea...
From now on, perhaps we'd better drop

No more stinker, agreed?

Agreed. Good, splendid.

Right, well, I must go off and get a
game of golf.

It's amazing how much business you can
get done at the 19th hole there.

Mind how you go, my lord.

Harold.

I don't feel very well, Miss Marston. I
think I'll call it a day. All right,

then.

Hello, it's me,

Harold. Sounds funny. What's the matter?

I'm not feeling very well. I'm on my way
home.

Where are you?

I'm at the office.

But you're on a payphone. I heard the
pit.

Yes, well, it's in the entrance hall.

Oh. So you'll be a while.

No, I'm on my way now.

Look at you.

Pop into bed and I'll fix an aspirin and
a hot water bottle.

Oh, no.

Ain't it better?

I overslept. Yes.

Yes, the coffee's on the stove.

Are you sure you should go to work
today?

Oh, yes. Yes, I'm fine now.

Bye.

I understand that at this time, a
takeover bid might be favorably

Why the hell don't you knock?

Oh, it's you, old boy.

Well, as a matter of fact, you're the
one person who might be helpful.

This blasted budget.

What do you think you're doing, my old
stick?

What was that all about?

God knows.

Well, I'm off. I'll know that.

I am a stinker.

Yeah.

Stinker, stinker.

Hold your noses, hold your noses Say
that's it, I'm holding on