All language subtitles for tales_of_the_unexpected_s02e14_back_for_christmas

John Collier, who wrote this story, is
surely one of the wittiest and most

subtle writers of our time.

He has produced a multitude of short
stories, three novels, and many fine

scripts.

When Collier writes fiction, he is
totally outrageous.

Consider, for example, a novel called
His Monkey Wife, which is all about a

female chimpanzee who falls in love with
and eventually marries an

undistinguished colonial schoolmaster.

If that isn't outrageous, I don't know
what is.

Here, then, is another equally
outrageous Collier story.

Chicago, of course.

Well,

I'd better circulate. I'll see you
later.

Samantha! How are we doing here?

You were always pretty, but you're in
grave danger of becoming a beauty.

I'm looking forward to starting a
hospital.

God help the hearts of our students when
you do it.

Darling, would you circulate with me?

Oh, yes, of course.

Would you like some?

Ladies and gentlemen, I know James is
going to hate me making a speech. All

same, I'm jolly well going to.

Now then,

who but Hermione would provide us all
with such a splendid feast a few hours

before she goes off to America?

Well, I'm quite sure of one thing.

She'll be the only one who doesn't
suffer from jet lag.

Well, you know, I sometimes feel
nowadays that Britain's losing faith in

herself. So it's a real shot in the arm
to know that our hospital, and in

particular James's unit, leads the world
in one field.

Yeah, yeah. So much so, in fact, that
the Americans want to steal James from

for nine months.

Oh, well, that's the usual period of
gestation.

So let's hope that the mating of James
and the Americans will bear fruit.

Well, we're all going to miss him.

And we shall miss Hermione, too.

And, alas, she won't be here to organise
our arts festival this summer.

However, I understand it's all in the
capable hands of... Who?

Sebastian. Oh, Sebastian.

Yes, well,

I won't be here to bully you all into
buying tickets, but we do have some most

exciting events, particularly that
series of concerts of Renaissance music,

I do hope that you'll all give Sebastian
your support.

Well,

I hope you both have a splendid trip.
Oh, and one thing.

We all know... what James is going to
spend the proceeds on.

Well, what more harmless hobby could
there be than growing orchids? I must

they do look very nice. I don't know
much about them.

Mmm, they also smell very nice.

Just like Hermione.

But I smell of his packing, luggage and
mothballs.

Now, now, Gabby.

Now, I'd just like to say that the
research which has given us the honour

this invitation is the result, like most
modern research, of teamwork.

And most of you here were in that team
and...

We are both very grateful for all your
years of hard work and loyalty.

Thank you. Thank you, Gavin. Excellent.
Now, drink.

And now, go on, everyone.

Darling.

The unit will go on while we're away, of
course, as usual, but orchids

need water.

And I'd be most grateful if all my
friends could take care of one of our

beauties till we get back. So if you'd
just follow me.

They've all got a label with full
instructions on the back. Now, look

is a patiopedilium hirsutissimum.

I call it the hairy one.

Do you think you're going to like it?

Will it like me?

Oh, of course it will.

One thing worries me.

James is going to get a lot of offers
over there, you know.

And double, treble the salaries we get.

Now, you won't let him be tempted, will
you? We need him.

Tom, I promise you, I won't let the
dollars seduce James or America seduce

Tom,

I don't think you're going to escape
without one.

Oh, thank you.

I've got one with a Latin name that
sounds extremely rude.

Oh, you are lucky to have a husband
whose mania doesn't involve you in

soaking wet and freezing every weekend.

Oh, Tom's sailing. Tom's sailing. I'm
Tom's crew. I sometimes wish the boat

would sink.

Not with Tom on it.

Well, preferably not.

Do you think orchids can't be annoying,
too?

Oh, they can't talk.

Oh. James talks to them endlessly.

Well, rather more than he talks to me,
actually.

Sometimes he's in there half the night,
potting and clinking away.

And whenever I want to watch television
or listen to a concert, that's the

moment when he decides he wants to put
up some shelving.

I want him to have a nice, new, modern
aluminium greenhouse out of sight behind

the tennis court.

See, without his clutter, that would
make the most marvellous garden.

Oh, and you're so clever at doing things
up.

No, I'm not clever.

Well, I'm clever enough to know what to
copy.

Put it out in the light and air till the
first frost. We'll take the greatest

care of it.

Intensive care. Oh, Gavin.

Mine's just a stick.

Well, don't worry. It'll burst into
butter in December. Give it a light

over with this from time to time.

So, ma 'am.

Now, this one's for you.

It's called an odontoglossum superba.
It's the most precious one.

Why?

Is it a rare one?

It's the most precious, Samantha,
because it will give you an opportunity

call upon you to collect it.

When exactly do we see you both again?

Oh, all being well, we shall be back for
Christmas.

Put that over there, shall I? Thank you.
There we are.

Drive carefully.

See you at Christmas.

Bye -bye.

Something would matter.

Oh, for God's sake, grow up!

I'm a big boy now, Mummy.

You can't set eyes on a young girl
without having to show me that you can

her. Well, all right, then. Get one.

One of your adoring young nurses, maybe.
And I hope you're more used to her than

you are to me.

You've got a joke, do you know?

People laugh at you behind your back.

The ageing cousin of a...

That's a role that I much prefer to my
present one.

That of the hen -pecked husband.

Hen -pecked husbands usually help.

It's your glory, Hermione, that you
never need help from anyone.

You're always so perfectly organised.

Aren't you?

Hermione? Hermione!

What is it?

I just found something absolutely
extraordinary.

Come up and see.

Hermione!

Yes? Something really peculiar.

What is it?

Aren't you dressed yet? What are you
doing? Unless my eyesight's deceiving

there's a gold chain down that drain.

Can't be. I haven't got a gold chain.

Oh, unless you've had someone here, of
course. Some tidy little nurse who

a bath.

Oh, really? Seriously, Hermione, come
and look. Oh.

There.

There.

You can't be lost. We were there an hour
ago.

Well, it must be left, then right, then
left again.

All right.

Around the world, then.

One bloody earring.

You've been losing earrings ever since I
knew you.

Why don't you get your ears pierced? I
can't bear the thought.

You, a hospital nurse.

I told you they'd be gone.

That's right. Not until six.

They might be calling on someone on the
way.

goes with my Chinese dress.

I wanted to wear it to the Fraser Star.

Thank you.

Stop!

What is it now? I just want to drop a
note in. There should have a daily woman

or someone who keeps an eye on the
place.

If earring found, please ring.

Why is it I can never remember our
telephone number?

2825.

Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes
we should be landing at Los Angeles

Airport. Would you kindly observe the
new smoking sign and ensure that you're

seated in the upright position?

We are on safety and comfort. We ask you
to remain seated when you take off.

Until the captain has parked the
aircraft in place.

We're both having a marvelous time here
in L .A. and enjoying the legendary

American hospitality.

Back.

Uh, aye.

Hello? Hello, James.

Eleanor, darling.

You got my message?

How are you? I was scared to death I'd
miss you.

You're in Los Angeles? Yes, we've come.
New York, Chicago, Philadelphia.

Now I'm here, at last.

Oh, I didn't know Jackie went. Listen,
Eleanor, I've got some great news.

She's left me.

She's gone.

Left you?

Where? Quite suddenly.

What do you mean, James? Oh, hold on a
minute.

Here, come in.

Oh, put it in the bedroom, will you?

So what time are you arriving?

Not till 9 .30.

Oh, that means a late dinner, I suppose.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

Well, I suppose I'll survive. Oh, thanks
very much. I'll survive till then.

You usually do. Yes.

What are you going to do?

What do you mean, what am I going to do?

I'm going to build a glass house, a
range of glass houses.

Settle down.

Don't mean it.

Yes, I'm going to give up being a
doctor.

I'm fed up with transplanting bits of
people who are dead to people who ought

be. I just don't believe you, James.
What about the hospital?

Uh, hold on a minute.

Just a minute, darling.

Dear Madam, thank you for your letter of
Friday the 4th of March accepting our

estimate and for the house keys you
enclosed, which we're starting work on

immediately in order to complete by
Christmas, as promised.

We confirm that the work involved is as
detailed as the letter.

Supplying and erecting aluminium
greenhouse as shown on enclosed

Clearing existing conservative.

Moving shell.

Lifting old...

Flooring.

Digging up foundations.

Laying new floor.