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It is very seldom that a short story
writer is able to make anything
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out of an incident that actually
happened.
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00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:43,300
But this story is one of the rare
exceptions.
4
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:48,200
I myself met the Umbrella Man on a
street in New York City.
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00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:51,740
And I followed him, just as in this
story.
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00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,140
And I was delighted and amazed by what I
found.
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00:00:56,180 --> 00:01:00,340
I must confess to you that I tried the
same experiment myself a few days later
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00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:01,700
to see if it really worked.
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00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:03,540
And it did.
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00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:09,120
I only hope that on the next rainy day
that comes along, we won't have
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of you going out and doing the same
thing.
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00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:13,980
It would cause chaos in the land.
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00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:46,460
Sir.
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00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:48,740
I want a room.
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One night.
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00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:58,000
Not our son. Look, sir, would you
please?
17
00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:03,340
Say, yes?
18
00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:09,919
Do you have such a thing as a list of
the public houses in this town?
19
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,520
No, what?
20
00:02:15,850 --> 00:02:16,850
Public houses.
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00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:19,850
Inns. Hostels.
22
00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:21,990
Bars.
23
00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:23,570
Public houses.
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00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:25,830
Pubs.
25
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:28,830
A list.
26
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:33,010
Of those in the centre of your charming
little town.
27
00:02:34,310 --> 00:02:36,650
Yes. A list.
28
00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:41,130
It's only this.
29
00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:44,430
That'll do nicely.
30
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,279
Well, mate.
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00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,300
First floor.
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00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:50,220
Thank you.
33
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,880
Was there something else, then?
34
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,120
Yes.
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00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,400
A porter.
36
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,260
A porter?
37
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,560
No porter.
38
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:24,140
I say, you don't happen to know the
weather forecast, do you?
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00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:26,920
The what?
40
00:03:28,940 --> 00:03:29,940
The weather.
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00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:31,900
The weather.
42
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:33,980
Tomorrow's weather.
43
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,020
No idea.
44
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,680
I don't care about the weather. I'm
stuck in here all day.
45
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,800
I hear you've had some heavy rains the
past few days.
46
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,290
I don't notice the weather.
47
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:53,350
Yes.
48
00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:54,930
Heavy.
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00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:56,710
Very heavy.
50
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:46,930
It may become cloudy towards evening,
but for the most part, the day will
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00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:49,270
be dry and sunny. And that's the
weather.
52
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:32,790
You want paper?
53
00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:33,870
No.
54
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:39,610
Here is the special announcement.
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00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:46,050
The request in A25 from Cambridge is
running approximately 15 minutes late.
56
00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:47,610
Going to be 15 minutes late.
57
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,270
Again.
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00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,120
Wendy. Andrew.
59
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,640
You won't need that today, will you?
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00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,580
What? Umbrella.
61
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,780
Better safe than sorry.
62
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,280
Forecast was dry and sunny.
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00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,140
It's the weather we've been having. You
can't be too careful.
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00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:29,740
Ridiculous.
65
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,159
Beg your pardon?
66
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,160
No.
67
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:39,830
Rice and coffee, then?
68
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:41,870
No, thanks.
69
00:06:43,610 --> 00:06:45,030
I'll just put you to the buffet.
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00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:49,050
I don't want a cup either, thanks.
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00:06:57,290 --> 00:06:58,290
Darling.
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00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,250
Darling.
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00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:02,530
I love you.
74
00:07:03,470 --> 00:07:04,470
I love you.
75
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:11,960
Where are we going to meet?
76
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,960
I mean, properly.
77
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,380
What about lunchtime today? I've got the
hairdresser with eleven, but I can be
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00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:19,319
through by one.
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00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,520
Damnation, I can't. I've got a business
lunch.
80
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,880
Oh, darling.
81
00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:29,860
Do you think?
82
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:31,600
Does Arthur suspect?
83
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,760
Of course not.
84
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,600
He looks at me so strangely.
85
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,520
Does Jennifer suspect?
86
00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:38,740
No.
87
00:07:39,049 --> 00:07:41,630
She's more interested in her cats than
she is in me.
88
00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:43,090
Poor darling.
89
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:47,850
If only...
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00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:58,710
Damsel.
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00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:02,270
Water. Bring your umbrella in weather
like this.
92
00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:06,090
You're wet. That's your trouble, Andrew.
93
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,110
You're wet, old man.
94
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:09,780
Bye.
95
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,490
Thank you.
96
00:08:57,090 --> 00:08:58,090
Yes, hey.
97
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:00,350
Where's the nearest church?
98
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:02,290
Tell what?
99
00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:05,890
Church.
100
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,490
Place of worship.
101
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,530
House of God.
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00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:13,230
Temple. Chapel.
103
00:09:14,190 --> 00:09:15,190
Church.
104
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,010
What denomination?
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00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:21,570
Any denomination.
106
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:25,810
Straight down the road.
107
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:27,650
Turn right.
108
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:56,900
Can't get four across, can you?
109
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,240
Can you, bud?
110
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,120
I'll see if your wife can help.
111
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,300
I'm no good at crosswords.
112
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:06,580
Have a look, you know now.
113
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:22,780
Tricky.
114
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:26,170
No, I'll go on struggling.
115
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,310
The answer is mistrust.
116
00:10:33,270 --> 00:10:34,330
Five's coming in.
117
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,470
What train are you coming back on?
118
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:38,730
I don't know yet.
119
00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:41,490
Oh, the 520. I thought you said the 520,
Arthur.
120
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:43,970
Not that train. I'll try to be on it,
the 520.
121
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:47,590
So -so.
122
00:10:58,860 --> 00:10:59,860
nearly forgot.
123
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,420
I do hope you'll excuse me.
124
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:21,660
Yes? I wonder if I could ask a small
favor.
125
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,940
It's only a very small favor.
126
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:26,260
What do you want?
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00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:33,320
Well, as a matter of fact, I've got
myself into a bit of a scrape, and I
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00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,199
some help.
129
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,780
Not much, I assure you. It's almost
nothing, in fact, but...
130
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:42,830
I do need it. I haven't got any money.
You see, madam, old people like me often
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00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:46,610
become terribly forgetful. I'm sorry,
but I don't give a beggar.
132
00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:50,670
Madam, I assure you, I'm not a beggar.
133
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:53,570
Do I look like a beggar?
134
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:58,650
I beg you to believe, madam, that I am
not in the habit of stopping young
135
00:12:58,650 --> 00:13:01,670
in the street and telling them my
troubles. I suppose not.
136
00:13:02,110 --> 00:13:05,190
You see, I've never forgotten it before.
137
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,160
You've never forgotten what before?
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00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,480
My wallet.
139
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:13,880
Please, go away. I shall call the
police.
140
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,100
Allow me. Do me the courtesy.
141
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:21,200
You see, I left my wallet in my other
jacket.
142
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,900
This is the silliest thing to do.
143
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:29,020
I have told you, I am not going to give
you any money. So there is no use asking
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00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:29,779
me for money.
145
00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:31,260
I'm not asking for money.
146
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:32,720
Good gracious.
147
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,900
Heaven forbid I should ever do such a
thing.
148
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,520
Then what are you asking?
149
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,650
And now me to explain.
150
00:13:39,390 --> 00:13:45,630
Now, when I first saw you hurrying for
the suit, taking cover, I said to
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00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:48,170
what an attractive woman.
152
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:50,510
Fresh from the hairdresser, no doubt.
153
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:56,710
Smart, elegant, with a kindly, not to
say, considerate face.
154
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,650
And yet... And yet what?
155
00:14:01,510 --> 00:14:03,430
Well, you'll forgive me saying this, I
know.
156
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:08,470
But I couldn't help feeling that you
were possessed with a certain sadness.
157
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,150
Sadness?
158
00:14:11,510 --> 00:14:13,090
I mean, I'm probably quite wrong.
159
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:16,530
No, no. No, silly of me. No, no, go on.
160
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:23,190
Well, I saw in your eyes a lost, faraway
look that hinted at pain.
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00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:30,010
To give an old man's impertinence, you
seem to me so terribly, terribly tragic.
162
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:31,959
Did I?
163
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:36,240
Yes. And so I thought that you were the
one person to approach because my
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00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:40,860
dilemma might in turn be of some help,
however poor, to you.
165
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:42,720
Pardon me?
166
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:48,440
I wish to offer this umbrella of mine to
protect you.
167
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:51,580
Don't fret.
168
00:14:52,260 --> 00:14:58,600
Madam, I don't wish to encroach or pry
on your private affairs, but...
169
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:06,080
If, as I suspect at this moment, you are
suffering from some unrequited love, a
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00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:12,020
longing, an age, then I can think of
nothing worse than to endure such
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00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:13,760
at the heart in the pouring rain.
172
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:19,040
Mr. Preston, all I ask in return is five
pounds for my taxi to her home.
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00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,280
You are asking me for money.
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00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,060
Madam, I am not without means.
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00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,300
I think I told you.
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00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:29,610
I left my wallet in the other jacket.
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00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:34,850
Now, if I'm to get this weary old body
home, I need the taxi fare.
178
00:15:35,370 --> 00:15:38,190
And all I can offer in return is my own
rent.
179
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:43,230
And I believe I may be of some service
to you as an avid woman.
180
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,610
If you had no money in the first place,
then how did you get here?
181
00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:47,910
Well, I walked.
182
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:52,030
Every day, I go for a lovely long walk,
and then I summon a taxi.
183
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:57,120
Take me home. I do it every day of the
year, come rain or shine. Then why don't
184
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,120
you walk home now?
185
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,360
I wish I could.
186
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,000
I really wish I could.
187
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:07,040
But I don't think I would make it on
these silly old legs of mine. I've gone
188
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,040
too far already.
189
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,680
It's, um... It's a lovely umbrella.
190
00:16:12,660 --> 00:16:13,660
Yes.
191
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,560
It's, um... It's silk.
192
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,620
I can see it, dear. Yes.
193
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:20,860
Then why don't you take it out of my
knee?
194
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:26,040
It cost me over 20 pounds, and that was
several years ago. But that's of no
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00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:27,760
importance as long as I can get home.
196
00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:31,640
I don't think it's right that I should
pay you five pounds for a silk umbrella
197
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,780
that cost you over 20.
198
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,800
Just take the tax and be done with it.
No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't dream it.
199
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:39,780
I wouldn't dream of taking money from
you. No, no.
200
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,580
Take the umbrella, dear lady.
201
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,800
Keep the rain off your beautiful hair.
202
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,220
And let your spirit be chilled just a
little.
203
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:50,870
How did it show so clearly?
204
00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:54,790
Just a look in my eye.
205
00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:00,350
Just... One more thing.
206
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:02,330
Remember this.
207
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:07,530
No man is worth the tears of a beautiful
woman.
208
00:18:40,379 --> 00:18:43,180
Thank you.
209
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,740
I thought to myself, as I was trying to
find a taxi and getting soaked in the
210
00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:57,920
skin, I thought to myself, Andrew will
be all right.
211
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,600
Andrew brought his umbrella.
212
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:00,900
It was stolen.
213
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,560
Stolen? Yeah.
214
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:06,560
When I was lunching in a pub, I got back
to the office, several of my colleagues
215
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,360
had had their stolen, too. Where did
they go?
216
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,920
I went round to the police station to
report it. They had several complaints.
217
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,580
Damned odd. Damned annoying.
218
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,740
Well, Wendy, you'll be furious.
219
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:17,919
Why?
220
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,000
He had a hair down today.
221
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,240
Probably looks like a drowned rat by
now.
222
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,160
Drowned rat, indeed.
223
00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,300
Don't worry, Arthur. I didn't buy a new
one.
224
00:20:35,740 --> 00:20:38,780
No. I must be sure everything happened.
225
00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,060
A man.
226
00:20:40,220 --> 00:20:44,840
Dear, kind, old man. Pardon me if I
would buy his umbrella.
227
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:50,580
Swine.
228
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:52,950
I beg your pardon.
229
00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:56,670
Your umbrella was stolen.
230
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:57,910
You're a liar.
231
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:01,270
Swine. Who on earth are you talking
about? I'm talking about you and Wendy.
232
00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:03,430
You met at lunchtime, didn't you?
233
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,130
You gave me your umbrella.
234
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:08,450
You met at lunchtime and then you
invented some cock -and -pull story
235
00:21:08,450 --> 00:21:09,450
theft in the police.
236
00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,510
God, what a fool I've been. You think
I'm blind?
237
00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,170
Stop this at once.
238
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,070
Secret locks of whispering to size.
239
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,480
You met at lunchtime for God knows what
reason and he gave you his umbrella.
240
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:23,020
This is rubbish, nonsense, absolute
madness. In the first place, it isn't my
241
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,680
umbrella. In the second place... Don't
lie to me. You can lie in court.
242
00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:28,420
Court? What do you mean, court?
243
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:29,760
I'll name you as correspondent.
244
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:38,040
For God's sake, you're behaving like a
maniac. This umbrella was sold to me.
245
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,720
I don't want to hear any more lies.
246
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,400
You just listen to her. Shut up!
247
00:21:47,980 --> 00:21:51,500
You're in love with her. I am not in
love with her. I'm a happily married
248
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,260
Happily married man. I am.
249
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,260
I don't give a fig for you. You may not
give a fig, but you gave me your
250
00:21:57,260 --> 00:21:59,960
umbrella. I can prove I didn't. This is
absolute madness.
251
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:03,160
Come with me now to the police desk. Oh,
nice try. I demand you to come to the
252
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:06,400
police. You accuse me of treachery. You
threaten me with divorce proceedings.
253
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,640
You put my marriage and happiness in
jeopardy. You teach me how to prove my
254
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,640
innocence.
255
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:15,980
Umbrellas.
256
00:22:19,850 --> 00:22:20,850
Could be.
257
00:22:21,910 --> 00:22:23,410
We have pulled in a man.
258
00:22:23,990 --> 00:22:28,450
A well -known con merchant, known as the
Major, the Commander, the Rural Dean,
259
00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:30,970
and even Chief Inspector.
260
00:22:32,190 --> 00:22:34,290
But I haven't connected him with the
Umbrellas.
261
00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:36,290
An Umbrella man.
262
00:22:38,310 --> 00:22:39,530
He's come down in the world.
263
00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:42,550
We'd need you to identify him, madam.
264
00:22:46,150 --> 00:22:49,030
Well, of course you'd identify him.
There's a great deal at stake.
265
00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:51,380
People's happiness depends on this,
Inspector.
266
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:56,040
We will chummy in, will you?
267
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:00,620
Better be the man.
268
00:23:01,060 --> 00:23:03,500
Otherwise, happiness won't be a word
much use around these parts.
269
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:09,600
Well, madam.
270
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,160
Is this the man who sold you the
umbrella?
271
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:32,440
No, I've never seen him before.
272
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:36,960
That's all I wanted to hear.
273
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,600
You'll both be hearing from my solicitor
in the morning.
274
00:23:51,150 --> 00:23:52,150
Could you, Wendy?
275
00:23:52,290 --> 00:23:53,930
This is the man, isn't it?
276
00:23:54,430 --> 00:23:55,470
How could you?
277
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:57,870
How could you?
278
00:24:06,350 --> 00:24:09,770
No man is worth the tears of a beautiful
woman.
279
00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,270
On your way, then, are you, sir?
280
00:24:30,690 --> 00:24:34,110
Yes. Off to Manchester, I think.
281
00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:35,670
Manchester?
282
00:24:36,370 --> 00:24:37,710
Always rains in Manchester.
283
00:24:38,550 --> 00:24:39,550
Yes.
284
00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:41,130
Yes.
285
00:24:41,590 --> 00:24:42,590
I know.
20689
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