All language subtitles for Tales Of The Unexpected s09e05 the facts of life
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1
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,560
Talk about fast.
2
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,260
Yeah, he's too damn fast.
3
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:57,020
He's got no cool idea of strategy.
4
00:00:57,340 --> 00:00:59,080
He's so bloody fast, he doesn't need
strategy.
5
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:12,780
He's championship material.
6
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,500
I bet you. I bet you he could win the
National Race Group finals.
7
00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:20,700
Too much natural exuberance. He can't
control his emotions, Lovejoy.
8
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:22,450
He's had a lot of grain, actually,
today.
9
00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:28,890
Halt!
10
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:31,930
We're left 5 -0.
11
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:34,970
You're lucky.
12
00:01:38,770 --> 00:01:39,770
See what I mean?
13
00:01:40,150 --> 00:01:41,150
Take your pen out.
14
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:42,128
I get 20.
15
00:01:42,130 --> 00:01:42,988
We're on.
16
00:01:42,990 --> 00:01:43,990
That's the final.
17
00:01:44,090 --> 00:01:45,090
London. Right.
18
00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:49,910
We're on the way to London, Nicola.
19
00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:54,940
Well,
20
00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,440
I'll have to ask my dad.
21
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,080
Believe me, Nicholas, you haven't the
first idea about London.
22
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,020
It's not called the modern Babylon for
nothing.
23
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,800
Dad,
24
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,140
it's only a fencing competition.
25
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,780
You're not old enough.
26
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:01,540
When you're 18 and no longer my
responsibility, then, of course, it's up
27
00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:07,040
But until then, how could I look a
policeman in the eye and tell him I'd
28
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,400
young son loose in London on his own?
29
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:12,780
But, Henry, the competition is sponsored
by the YMCA.
30
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,140
That's a good Christian organisation.
31
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,660
Yes, I know that, Mother, but what makes
Nicholas think he's good enough to be
32
00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:20,020
in a national competition?
33
00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:22,260
Well, Mr Lovejoy... Lovejoy?
34
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,020
Lovejoy. Even the name.
35
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,320
Why not?
36
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,080
It's just because you were never good at
anything.
37
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,200
I see.
38
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:38,620
If that's all fencing teaches you, then
I think we can call a halt right now.
39
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:42,900
Pride, Nicholas!
40
00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:46,300
Pride leads you on the path to
destruction.
41
00:03:53,780 --> 00:03:55,320
You're quite right, of course.
42
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,060
It's time he learned humility.
43
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,040
Too much winning, I suppose.
44
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,080
What he needs is to lose something.
45
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,420
Something important to him.
46
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:11,960
Like a national competition.
47
00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,760
will depart from Platinum City.
48
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:24,900
I told him I'll pass time. We'll have to
go without him.
49
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,740
Do you remember, Nicholas?
50
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,060
It's a modern Babylon.
51
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,440
Now, be alert.
52
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,120
Everything there attempts you.
53
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:37,940
Here.
54
00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:39,740
Nicholas?
55
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,300
Pay your way, Nicholas.
56
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,620
Neither a borrower nor a lender be, and
whatever you do, don't gamble.
57
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,240
Dad, when am I giving it to you? Satan
whispers on the shoulder of the gambler.
58
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:52,820
Isn't that right, Mr. Rudge? We'll take
good care of it, Mr. Lilly. Don't worry,
59
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,260
I'll make it my personal responsibility.
60
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,780
Ha, ha, ha, at last.
61
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,100
No, look, listen. Now, pay attention.
62
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,220
Last but not least. A cup of coffee at 9
.30 in the morning. I hardly thought it
63
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,220
was non -regional.
64
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,640
I'm sorry. Did I spill it? I'm sorry.
Nicholas.
65
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,860
Now, pay attention, Nicholas, please.
This is important.
66
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,080
Have nothing whatever to do with women.
67
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,500
Nothing.
68
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,060
You understand what I mean?
69
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:18,860
Promise. I promise.
70
00:05:19,260 --> 00:05:20,119
Thanks, Dad.
71
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:20,959
Bye, Mum.
72
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:21,960
Good luck, Mickey.
73
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,240
Don't forget to...
74
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,400
Down to the last eight. How do you feel?
75
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,540
Not as good as I thought. I told you so.
Yes, but they're still there.
76
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,760
Yes.
77
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:02,740
I've been watching him.
78
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,480
Baron Hypen Irvin. He's cunning.
79
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:12,860
The finalists to compete by direct
elimination are as follows.
80
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:20,640
Beast One, Barlow, Manchester Grammar,
and Patel, Ealing Fencing
81
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:21,640
Club.
82
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:28,230
Feast four, Ling Ho Lim, Harrow, and
McNair,
83
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,870
Billericay College.
84
00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:37,710
Hells bells, where's Baron Irving? Feast
three, Lily, Norwich Fencing Club, and
85
00:06:37,710 --> 00:06:42,550
Baron Irving, Halebury.
86
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:45,370
Feast two.
87
00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:50,420
Right. Now, let us hold back. Hold back.
Remember, he who attacks makes himself
88
00:06:50,420 --> 00:06:52,220
vulnerable, all right? Good luck.
89
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,180
Good luck.
90
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:58,400
Well, I hope you're feeling rich,
Lovejoy.
91
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,720
Double or quits?
92
00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:33,650
He said he was so fast he didn't need
strategy.
93
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:44,770
Wait for it, wait for it.
94
00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,410
Ready,
95
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:53,510
play.
96
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,350
Go ahead, he did it.
97
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,560
is in for a change.
98
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,440
On guard.
99
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:06,760
Ready.
100
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,360
I know he's playing for time.
101
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,500
Keep cool, Nicholas. Don't let him
ruffle you.
102
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,360
He's definitely out of order. The
president should intervene. Get on with
103
00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,260
Sorry.
104
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,079
All right.
105
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,240
Are you ready?
106
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,480
Thank you. Well,
107
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,039
this is it.
108
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,080
Just one more hit, Nicholas. Just one
more.
109
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,360
20 quid, I think.
110
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:35,920
So, who's hitting the high spots, then?
The 750 only stops at Ipswich.
111
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,660
Otherwise, it's the 9 o 'clock, all
stations from Colchester.
112
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,700
Early night for me.
113
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,160
But you're buying the drinks.
114
00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:43,560
Oh, you'll be lucky.
115
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,640
Come on, you old bucket of fertiliser.
This is Nicholas's night.
116
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,780
You should have been champ, but for a
cheap trick. We're going to celebrate.
117
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,340
This boy is the best fencer we've ever
had in our club, eh?
118
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,280
Got a bit of nightlife.
119
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,980
It's not all God and your sword army,
old mate.
120
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,720
I'm not really in the mood, Mr Lovejoy.
121
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:07,060
I think I'll just phone my parents and
go back to the hotel.
122
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:08,620
You sure?
123
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,020
Sure. Does it?
124
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,400
Night. Night -night.
125
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:15,520
Come on, Rog.
126
00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:18,990
And you're not going to let me down, man
of the world?
127
00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,290
You owe me one, and you'd better make it
a double.
128
00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:25,910
Well, if you insist, but not here. I
happen to know a place that serves 50
129
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,950
different single malts. The more, the
merrier.
130
00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:38,470
Nicholas Lilly.
131
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:40,450
Hello.
132
00:10:40,630 --> 00:10:41,630
James Baron Irvin.
133
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:45,450
Congratulations, you gave me the closest
fight in the tournament.
134
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,580
No, really, a great game. Thanks. I
thought I was done for.
135
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,660
Anyway, no hard feelings.
136
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,640
All's fair in love and war, eh?
137
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,240
You know, you really ought to be
celebrating.
138
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,300
I know a super sporting club if you'd
like to come along.
139
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,560
A sports club?
140
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,660
Will it be open this late?
141
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,920
That's very good. That's very good. Sit
down.
142
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,980
Nice to see you again, Mr. Baron Irvin.
143
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,700
And how's your uncle keeping?
144
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,800
Gone to Monty for the tenant.
145
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:30,740
Just to remind you of our rules, sir, I
trust that your guest is over 18.
146
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:33,000
Arthur, you disappoint me.
147
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,760
Come on.
148
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,140
Don't draw attention here, sir.
149
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,300
But where's the gym?
150
00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:10,600
A sporting... Not a sport.
151
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:22,560
Where's the high rower?
152
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:25,000
£5 ,000 a hand.
153
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,860
£5 ,000?
154
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,640
I've just watched him lose 20 grand in
half an hour.
155
00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,220
How much? 20 grand.
156
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:55,960
20 ,000 pounds?
157
00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:58,700
That's remarkable.
158
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:00,940
That's awful.
159
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,520
You could buy an house in Norwich for
that.
160
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:04,760
Oh, really?
161
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,200
Thank you, sir.
162
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,040
I think I ought to go, James.
163
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,100
It's been very nice. Thank you. Oh, come
on, man. This is a celebration.
164
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,020
Look, if money's the problem, I'll lend
you some. Oh, no.
165
00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:24,780
No, it's okay.
166
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:30,480
Um, well, maybe I'll just watch for a
bit. Lord Nick, don't be a bore. You
167
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,480
have a go. It's fun.
168
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:32,820
Good for the adrenaline.
169
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,560
Get your nerves in training.
170
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:38,880
Evening. Good evening, sir.
171
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:45,140
Could I have a couple of those, um,
totes?
172
00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:46,370
Yes, sir.
173
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:50,370
I'm sorry, sir, but five is the minimum
state.
174
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,010
Thank you, sir.
175
00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:04,410
Enjoy yourself, sir.
176
00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:08,149
Thank you.
177
00:14:08,150 --> 00:14:09,150
Thank you, sir.
178
00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:25,800
No more bets, are we?
179
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:27,020
Quick.
180
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,900
Cash played 17, black 10 pounds.
181
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:33,140
My age. You're 18, remember?
182
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:39,920
17, black.
183
00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:42,220
17?
184
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:43,960
James, I've won!
185
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,300
Stay cool.
186
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:02,950
You know I knew you'd be a winner. I can
tell.
187
00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:04,410
You've got the vibe.
188
00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:07,410
No more now, please.
189
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:12,910
17 blasts again.
190
00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:15,630
Amazing. I can't believe it. That's
incredible.
191
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:16,850
What's your shot?
192
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,290
What? You've won again.
193
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:20,170
What?
194
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:23,890
Oh, I can't. I didn't put anything on.
That's your original stake. They leave
195
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,110
on unless you tell them not to.
196
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:26,590
Oh.
197
00:15:26,850 --> 00:15:29,210
I told you I could feel your vibe.
198
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:30,740
They're really strong.
199
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,800
Is this your first time? Yeah.
200
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:35,860
Oh, nothing like beginning to like, you
know, it's the best sort.
201
00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:38,180
Sometimes it's even not drop onto the
tip.
202
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,720
Do you mind if I try?
203
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,160
I'll give you them back in a minute.
204
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,100
Hey, wait a minute. Call it, Nick.
205
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:46,460
Don't make a scene. You can get me
banned. It's your fault, anyway. You
206
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:49,620
asking for it. She could see you coming
a mile. But she's given me 50 quid.
207
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:50,940
Borrowed, man, borrowed.
208
00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,060
Look, stop whinging. You've been had.
Forget it.
209
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,340
You're still 650 quid up.
210
00:15:57,820 --> 00:15:58,980
650 pounds?
211
00:16:00,770 --> 00:16:01,810
Thank you, Ben.
212
00:16:02,630 --> 00:16:03,630
Bouncy another go?
213
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:05,410
Right.
214
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:14,650
I reckon the devil's on your side
tonight, Nick.
215
00:16:15,370 --> 00:16:16,930
I thought you were going to lose
everything.
216
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:20,230
£760, sir.
217
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:22,670
£760.
218
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,630
I'll get Campagnolo gears for the bike.
219
00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:27,950
Or a car.
220
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:29,630
Please, Nick, just put it away.
221
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:36,260
Thank you. Good night. There you are.
I've been looking for you everywhere. I
222
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:38,020
was so worried. I thought you'd gone.
223
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,480
Heaven knows what you must think of me.
I'm so embarrassed.
224
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,420
Thank you.
225
00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:49,640
I knew you had lucky eyes.
226
00:17:04,619 --> 00:17:05,619
Mickey darling.
227
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,240
People are trying to sleep, you know.
228
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,760
Pina colada.
229
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,620
I never want to hear the words pina
colada as long as I breathe.
230
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,100
Skinted me, lady.
231
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:03,620
Skinted me. You skinted yourself.
232
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,480
You were a sitting duck.
233
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:06,980
Thank you.
234
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,800
Women.
235
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,000
You give them the earth, Rog.
236
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,760
And what do they do?
237
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,820
They talk amongst themselves.
238
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:25,160
I
239
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:35,220
should
240
00:19:35,220 --> 00:19:36,220
have known.
241
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,880
You're a liability, Lovejoy.
242
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,540
You always have been.
243
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,640
Oh, thank God the boy didn't come with
us.
244
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:47,030
Thank you.
245
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,160
Who's that?
246
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,640
It's only me.
247
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,860
I didn't like to wake you.
248
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,720
Kiss?
249
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:44,980
Goodbye, super lover.
250
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:46,780
Bye.
251
00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:20,670
Sorry,
252
00:21:26,130 --> 00:21:27,130
I went...
253
00:21:33,230 --> 00:21:34,230
No, that's all right.
254
00:21:34,850 --> 00:21:35,850
Thanks.
255
00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:38,710
Morning.
256
00:22:01,430 --> 00:22:02,430
Don't talk to me.
257
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:04,790
Have you got any change?
258
00:22:05,350 --> 00:22:06,370
Fives? Tens?
259
00:22:10,870 --> 00:22:11,870
Yeah.
260
00:22:16,390 --> 00:22:18,150
Mr Lovejoy, can I ask you something?
261
00:22:21,850 --> 00:22:26,310
Mr Lovejoy, if someone steals something
from you...
262
00:22:26,310 --> 00:22:32,970
If someone steals something from you...
And then you...
263
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,320
Steal it back.
264
00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:41,480
Except that at the same time, by
accident, you take something else as
265
00:22:42,380 --> 00:22:44,680
Does what you've done count as stealing?
266
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:53,260
If someone steals something from you,
you steal it back and
267
00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:54,620
take something else.
268
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,740
Accidentally. Accidentally.
269
00:22:58,840 --> 00:22:59,940
What's the question again?
270
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,460
Does what you've done...
271
00:23:02,919 --> 00:23:03,919
Count of steel.
272
00:23:08,420 --> 00:23:09,420
This is soup.
273
00:23:12,620 --> 00:23:13,900
All right, what happened, Nicholas?
274
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:21,160
Well, last night I... Anyway,
275
00:23:24,140 --> 00:23:27,560
when I got out of the taxi just now, I
had all the cash.
276
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,220
Better than I thought. I came fifth.
277
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:54,440
Wonderful.
278
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,100
Praise God.
279
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,520
Hello, Dad.
280
00:24:00,100 --> 00:24:01,100
Well?
281
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:02,480
He didn't win.
282
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:03,920
Ah.
283
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,300
So you weren't quite good enough, then.
284
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:11,040
Never mind, Nicholas. The experience
will stand you in good stead. It'll
285
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,040
you a little about humility.
286
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,200
Pride, Nicholas.
287
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,200
Pride leads you along the path to
destruction.
288
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,200
Yeah, yeah. I know, Dad.
289
00:24:23,550 --> 00:24:25,750
Nicholas! How dare you!
290
00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:28,990
Stay cool, Dad.
18956
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