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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:39,090 Do you not shift me eyes? Do you not shift me eyes? 2 00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:41,090 So do you, pal. 3 00:02:17,649 --> 00:02:18,649 Charlie. 4 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:24,830 Charlie dropped by and brought me the most beautiful wild orchids. Look at 5 00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:27,150 Well, did she offer you a drink? 6 00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,130 Oh, she did. How about a cigar? 7 00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,810 Yeah, I got one of those, too. 8 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:32,930 Well, you don't sit there, huh? 9 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,920 Except that I've got to go to work. 10 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,120 Oh. 11 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:41,420 Thank you for your hospitality, ma 'am. Well, you're our most welcome kind, sir. 12 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,640 Good of you to stop by, Charlie. 13 00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:44,980 Keep heading to company. 14 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,060 Well, I thought at least I could be better company than that dumb carrot. 15 00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:50,380 Here you go, Shifty Eyes. 16 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,500 Here you go, Shifty Eyes. 17 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,180 Is that all he ever says? 18 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:54,520 Of course not. 19 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:55,700 Tom, Tom. 20 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,420 Santa Yama, Belgrade, Sophia, Blumfield, Middlestonville, all aboard. 21 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:00,980 What's that supposed to mean? 22 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:05,220 It took us a while to figure it out, but we finally decided it's the last five 23 00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:08,360 stops on the old Orient Express heading east. 24 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,500 Where do you suppose he ever learned that? 25 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:14,080 Traveling very strange old man. 26 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,260 You've got to catch yourself one weird bird. 27 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,300 You've got shifty eyes. 28 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,620 Shifty eyes. 29 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,340 Belgrade, Sofia, Plovdiv, and Estobul. All aboard! 30 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:34,900 Something broke in here. 31 00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:50,970 It was one of those cats, wasn't it? One of those damn cats. 32 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,060 seen what our bird has been doing. 33 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,420 Looks like he's building a nest to me. 34 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,600 Drink, Charlie? Got one. 35 00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:34,900 Cigar? 36 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,700 Almost there. Stay for dinner. 37 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,600 Oh, we can't. I have to go to work. 38 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:39,860 Oh, good. 39 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:43,940 Forgot. I asked Charlie to drop by, darling, so that he could give us some 40 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,060 advice about Tom. 41 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,940 No. You better start calling him Tomasina, good buddy. 42 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,460 That's what you got out there is a female parrot. 43 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,040 You're a parrot expert now, Charlie? 44 00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:58,220 No, but I can tell a male from a female in pretty near every creature God ever 45 00:08:58,220 --> 00:09:02,380 made. And what you've got out there right now is a female parrot that's 46 00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:03,319 to raise a family. 47 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:07,180 I was so relieved when he told me. I thought poor Tom was going crazy. He, 48 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,960 wouldn't talk and just kept putting all these little pieces of paper and sticks 49 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,220 together the whole time she was building a nest. Isn't that exciting? 50 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,780 Very. Yeah, I wonder who the daddy is. 51 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,430 Come quickly. Why? It's Tommy. Come. 52 00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:38,870 Percival. 53 00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:46,730 Are you all right? 54 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:14,930 Are you serious? 55 00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:16,390 Well, that's cruel. 56 00:10:18,190 --> 00:10:21,650 I know. We could incubate it and make it hatch. 57 00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:24,970 We don't know anything about hatching parrot eggs. 58 00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:28,350 I'll call Charlie. He knows about things like that. 59 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:29,590 He'll know what to do. 60 00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:30,689 Yeah. 61 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:31,850 It's a good idea you do that. 62 00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:33,310 Call Charlie. 63 00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:35,490 Well, where are you going? 64 00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:39,010 Get a shovel to dig the grave to bury Tom. Unless you want Charlie to do that, 65 00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:43,310 too. Oh, don't be that way, Jack. I told you Charlie is completely harmless. 66 00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:44,850 Is he? 67 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:51,150 Look, I... Oh, Don. 68 00:10:55,970 --> 00:10:59,070 It won't be that way again. 69 00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,070 Not like in Mexico. 70 00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:38,310 Charlie's going away, darling. 71 00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:40,350 Yeah, they want me back at headquarters. 72 00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:42,670 Telex just came in. 73 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,470 I'm gonna be gone about six weeks. 74 00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,370 I brought this over to hatch your egg in. 75 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:48,950 Who told you about the egg? 76 00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:55,190 Oh, well, I told him, darling. I... I called Charlie while you were out 77 00:11:55,190 --> 00:11:56,590 poor old Thomas Sr.'s grave. 78 00:11:57,070 --> 00:12:00,650 Now, all you do is put the egg in here, turn the light on, keep it warm, it 79 00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:01,650 ought to pop right out of the shell. 80 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:05,110 I just knocked this together with some old junk I had laying around, so it 81 00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,110 fancy, but it ought to work. 82 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,670 That's awful sweet of you, Charlie. 83 00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:11,570 Won't you come in and have a drink? No, no, I can't. I've got to go pack. 84 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,430 Here you go, Jack. 85 00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:23,210 You know, I'm kind of curious about what's going to hatch out of that egg. 86 00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:27,310 Since you say you didn't get a good look at the daddy, it might turn out to be 87 00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:28,310 something unusual. 88 00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:32,630 I never said I didn't get a good look at him. 89 00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,290 You saw him? 90 00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:35,470 You never told me that. 91 00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:36,970 Well, what did he look like? 92 00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:44,230 Well... He was different. 93 00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,070 Well, you can at least try to be civil. 94 00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:18,650 Always civil. 95 00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:23,570 Always polite. In fact, sometimes I think I must be the politest man in the 96 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,570 whole world. 97 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:28,470 Darling, you're going to have to try to do something about your drinking. These 98 00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,770 past six weeks have just been... I know, you told me. 99 00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:32,710 The past six weeks have been hell. 100 00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:36,590 But if you would just try to... Do something about my drinking, all right, 101 00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,530 think I will. I think I'll have another drink. 102 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,240 All the details. 103 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,679 Hi, Jack. 104 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,540 Charlie. That was headquarters. 105 00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:57,320 All great. Just great. 106 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,280 I'm glad you hear what I heard about you. 107 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,240 Really? 108 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,400 Meantime, what can I offer you? My liquor? My cigars? 109 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:05,640 My piano? 110 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,080 My wife. 111 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,280 Now, that last remark wasn't very funny, friend. 112 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,300 Don't pay any attention to him. For the past few days, he's just been brooding. 113 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,980 Brooding, huh? About what? 114 00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:22,230 Manical genius. 115 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:26,310 Well, I always thought of myself as half smart, but genius? 116 00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:29,150 This incubator you knocked together? 117 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:30,730 It worked. 118 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,290 Boy, did it work. 119 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:33,530 Your egg hatched, huh? 120 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,130 It hatched. Well, where's the offspring? 121 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:42,950 Good Lord! 122 00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:49,030 It grew to that size in six weeks? 123 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:51,980 Five weeks. It took a week for the egg to hatch. 124 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,080 It's black. 125 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,920 Cold black. I don't think I've even heard of a black parrot. 126 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:01,840 It's not a parrot, Charlie. 127 00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:03,820 Well, what is it? 128 00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:05,880 Well, it's interesting. 129 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,700 You're the expert on what you call God's critters. Well, what kind of critter is 130 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,820 that? Is it male, female? 131 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,440 Something in between. 132 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,780 I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. 133 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,900 I want to give the thing away. 134 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:20,680 Why? 135 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,660 Because it watches. 136 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,840 Watches what? 137 00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:30,740 Everything. Can it talk? 138 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:34,640 Not sure. 139 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,040 Can you talk, handsome? 140 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,220 Is that what you named it, handsome? 141 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,200 Hasn't got a name, but I sometimes call it handsome. 142 00:15:47,770 --> 00:15:49,870 And it isn't cold anything at all, isn't it? 143 00:15:50,870 --> 00:15:52,290 It doesn't like to be watched. 144 00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:57,870 Let's not waste the whole evening talking about that stupid bird. 145 00:15:58,630 --> 00:16:01,730 Charlie, I want you to tell me all about headquarters. I want to hear all the 146 00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:04,750 gossip. Well, they're real high on your husband there. 147 00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:11,470 From what I can gather, anyway, they're going to... Did you hear that, Johnny? 148 00:16:12,810 --> 00:16:17,900 I'd be rewarded for happiness of thought and neatness. Neatness. counts for a 149 00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:18,900 great deal at headquarters. 150 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,560 You can turn in a report that says nothing at all. 151 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:25,340 But so long as it's neat, headquarters will be delighted. 152 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,620 Well, I reckon I brought back a little news about myself, too. Oh, what? 153 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,500 I'm going to be transferred. 154 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:35,720 When? 155 00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:37,940 Next week. 156 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,040 Where are you going? 157 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:42,960 Bogota. 158 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,800 Bogota. 159 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,740 A lot of pirates in Bogota. 160 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:49,700 Hear that, handsome? 161 00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,560 Charlie's been transferred to Bogota. 162 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,440 What do you think of that? 163 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,900 I waited as long as I could, Jack, but I gotta catch that plane. 164 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,320 I just stopped over to say so long. 165 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,580 Say so long to Edna? Oh, yeah. 166 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:34,880 Yeah, we said goodbye. 167 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,300 Hope it wasn't too painful. 168 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,920 Well, Jack, I never like saying goodbye to good friends. 169 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,020 And that's how I always think of you and Edna. 170 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:45,320 Good friends. 171 00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,620 Say goodbye to the bird? 172 00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,700 You know, Jack, you ought to get rid of that bird. 173 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:53,460 He don't do nothing but sit up there and... 174 00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:56,850 Chuckle that mean, low -down chuckle of his all day long. It's driving Edna Plum 175 00:17:56,850 --> 00:17:58,410 crazy. Is that what she said? 176 00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:01,290 Well, she didn't come right out and say it, but shoot, you can tell. 177 00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:02,510 I mean, you can tell. 178 00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:03,810 Bird's driving her crazy. 179 00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:08,950 I hope you straighten out, boy. 180 00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:11,470 I surely do. 181 00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:18,750 So long, Charlie. 182 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:41,780 Hey, for your lesson? 183 00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:45,340 Hey, now, repeat after me. 184 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,440 Gee, you got shifty eyes. 185 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,180 Gee, you got shifty eyes. 186 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,100 I'll bet you could talk if you wanted to. 187 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,300 I'll bet you could tell me all kinds of interesting things. 188 00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:02,660 I didn't hear you come in. 189 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,760 Just, uh, giving handsome his lesson. 190 00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:08,880 Not much of a pupil. 191 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,500 You missed Charlie. He dropped over to say goodbye. 192 00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:14,260 No. I didn't miss him. 193 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,800 You saw him? 194 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,440 On the drive. 195 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:18,920 He stopped. 196 00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:20,500 He wanted to say farewell. 197 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:25,680 Charlie. 198 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:26,880 Yes, wisdom. 199 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,080 Thinks you're going crazy. 200 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:31,820 Charlie didn't do that. 201 00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:34,460 Yes, he did. 202 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,360 How long was he here? 203 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,100 About an hour, I guess. 204 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,000 Suppose you could spend an hour saying goodbye to somebody. 205 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,040 Did he tell you you were going crazy? 206 00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:45,880 You're making that up. 207 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:50,340 He thinks the bird is driving you crazy. 208 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,080 It just makes me nervous, that's all. 209 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:57,740 Look, Jack. 210 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,080 Can we talk? 211 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:01,480 Sure. 212 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,320 Not here. 213 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 In the bedroom. 214 00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:27,470 I have some news, darling. Some good news. 215 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,250 What? 216 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:32,810 I'm going to have a baby. 217 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,690 You sure? 218 00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:37,390 I'm very sure. 219 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:45,190 Damn, that is great. That is just great. 220 00:20:46,050 --> 00:20:48,010 When? I mean, when? 221 00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:49,650 About seven months, I guess. 222 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:51,270 A baby. 223 00:20:51,930 --> 00:20:52,930 A son. 224 00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:54,310 An heir. 225 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:55,390 A daughter, I mean. 226 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,730 What would a daughter be? An heiress. 227 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,550 This changes everything. 228 00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:04,110 No more fighting, no more brooding, no more booze. 229 00:21:06,510 --> 00:21:10,050 First, one last celebration. 230 00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:12,790 A bottle of champagne in the refrigerator. 231 00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:15,010 What do you say? 232 00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:17,970 One last celebration. 233 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,330 But darling, could I ask you just one thing? 234 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,250 Anything. 235 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:38,630 Can we get rid of that awful bird? 236 00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:41,230 Done. First thing in the morning. Now. 237 00:22:18,060 --> 00:22:19,019 going to be a father. 238 00:22:19,020 --> 00:22:20,120 You don't say so. 239 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,560 What about you? 240 00:22:32,340 --> 00:22:33,340 What did you say? 241 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,680 You think the child is his? 242 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,919 Don't worry. 243 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:36,920 He's a fool. 244 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,320 One more time. 245 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,760 Where's the champagne? 16771