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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:38,590 The possibility that a large woman might one day swallow a small clergyman is 2 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:40,270 one that has always appealed to me. 3 00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:45,530 My mind first started wandering in this direction one day in the zoo, while I 4 00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:48,550 stood watching a huge snake swallowing a live rat. 5 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,210 The rat didn't wish to be swallowed, he was against it. 6 00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:56,810 But the snake had hypnotized him, so he had no chance, and down he went. 7 00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:01,770 The keeper told me it would take the snake five days to digest the rat. 8 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:07,920 And that's when I got to wondering how long a large woman would take to digest 9 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,780 clergyman with all his clothes on if he were not too big. 10 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,960 That, of course, would depend on the woman. 11 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:17,900 But I know one or two who could have him for breakfast and still feel hungry at 12 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:18,900 the end of it. 13 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:20,690 Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. 14 00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:28,590 I keep under my body, lest that by any means, when I have 15 00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:33,350 preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. 16 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:40,650 St. Paul's first epistle to the Corinthians, chapter 9, verses 25 and 17 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,600 Dearly beloved... 18 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:54,500 Dearly 19 00:02:54,500 --> 00:03:00,220 beloved... In this age of permissiveness... 20 00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:07,220 St. Paul is sadly out 21 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:08,220 of fashion. 22 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,840 I could eat him, couldn't you? 23 00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:12,440 Eat him! 24 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:21,140 Good day. 25 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,460 Ah, Miss Elphinstone. 26 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,620 Glorious flower arrangements, as usual. 27 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:32,360 The secret is to get a grip on the talks, Vicar. 28 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:34,320 Quite. 29 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,480 Good morning to you. Good day. 30 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:47,760 A small token, Vicar. 31 00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:49,550 From the spinster of the parish. 32 00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:53,670 Miss Unwin, how very kind. 33 00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:56,270 Oh. 34 00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:58,910 No harm done. 35 00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:03,470 No, quite. They're meant to go on the floor, aren't they? 36 00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:05,570 Good day to you now. 37 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:06,910 Steady, steady, boys. 38 00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:08,130 Steady. 39 00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:13,190 Vicar, may I introduce my niece, Mrs. Roach? Julia. 40 00:04:14,230 --> 00:04:15,230 How do you do? 41 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:17,170 A challenging servant, Vicar. 42 00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:20,930 Julia's staying with us for a few weeks. Her husband's in the States on 43 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:23,990 business. Well, that's his story, anyway. 44 00:04:25,270 --> 00:04:26,270 Oh, quite. 45 00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,410 Don't forget my tennis party on Saturday. 46 00:04:28,770 --> 00:04:30,950 I'm counting on you for the mixed doubles. 47 00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:35,210 Well, I'm rather a rabbit, I'm afraid, Lady Birdwell. 48 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:39,550 Oh, but I adore rabbits. I've bagged you already. Oh, well, with Julia as your 49 00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:42,030 partner, you're bound to win. Come along now. 50 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,300 Shall I lock up, Vicar? 51 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:53,440 No, no, I'll lock up. You forgot last week. 52 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,280 Yes. 53 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,200 Yes, well, that was because... 54 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:05,480 How's 55 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:06,520 your rash, Vicar? 56 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,460 Oh, it, um, it comes and goes. 57 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:10,900 Our lad had that. 58 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,420 Giant urticaria, they call it. 59 00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:14,820 Nerves. 60 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,380 He got over it once he was caught in regular. 61 00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:31,790 Think on me and purge away my sins. 62 00:05:32,150 --> 00:05:39,070 From earth -born passions set me free and make 63 00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:41,350 me pure within. 64 00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:48,690 Georgie! Oh, Jesus, think on Georgie, Georgie, pudding and pie. 65 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,950 Georgie! Georgie, Georgie! 66 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,760 Don't call him Georgie Porgie, dear. 67 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,120 You give the boy a complex. 68 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:04,920 Basically, Georgie Porgie, your father is a timorous man. 69 00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:08,980 Like all socialists. 70 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,840 Taste my show. 71 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,480 It's very dry. 72 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,880 Claire. It's called manzanilla. 73 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:18,840 He's too young for alcohol. 74 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,720 He doesn't need that kind of stimulus. 75 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,540 Don't be frightened, Georgie. Drink it. 76 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,620 must experience everything, Boris. 77 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,920 Everything without shame. 78 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,280 You ruined my skirt. 79 00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,360 You stupid child. I'm sorry. 80 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,980 You're just like your father. 81 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:59,910 Because it's Sunday, Georgie, I'm going to tell you about Muhammad. 82 00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:05,230 Claire, we'll be late for the Harbinger Humanists. Oh, humanism can wait, Boris. 83 00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:10,150 Our pudding and pie needs to know about every religion so he has a choice when 84 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:11,150 he grows up. 85 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:15,850 Now, Georgie, if you must have a religion, and I'm not saying that you 86 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:19,010 then I suppose Muhammadism is as good as any. 87 00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:24,970 It's all based on keeping healthy. You can have lots of wives, but you mustn't 88 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:25,970 have... 89 00:07:26,890 --> 00:07:28,030 Why not, Marie? 90 00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:32,410 Because if you have lots of wives, you have to be virile, Georgie. 91 00:07:36,650 --> 00:07:37,650 What's virile? 92 00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:40,450 Being full of bounce in bed. 93 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:41,690 Like this. 94 00:07:42,390 --> 00:07:45,610 I do that by myself sometimes. Well, when you're married, you'll bounce. 95 00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,650 Bounce, Georgie. Bounce. 96 00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,150 There. 97 00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:50,430 There, please. 98 00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,310 Oh, I think your father's jealous. 99 00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:54,690 Oh, what a pet you are. 100 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:56,840 Scrumptious. Mummy. 101 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,280 Another thing about Mohammed is that... We'll do it on the rug. 102 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:02,880 Come on. 103 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:07,980 Come on, pudding, over here. 104 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,240 We're supposed to be facing east. 105 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,960 Claire. Don't nag for it. 106 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,960 Mohammed never gets concentrated. 107 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,560 State your defects, Claire. 108 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,600 You ought to be doing this, not us. 109 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:23,300 If only you bent over and touched the ground with your forehead. 110 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:29,140 Come on, you... They do it morning, noon, and night. 111 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:30,960 Facing Mecca. 112 00:08:58,920 --> 00:08:59,799 I have a story. 113 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:00,880 Just once. 114 00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,420 As it's my birthday. 115 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:08,100 Darling, you know perfectly well I don't tell stories. I don't believe in 116 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:13,040 stories. Just for once. Dearest Pudding, the world is much too wonderful to 117 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,040 bother with stories. 118 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,060 Let's look at your new book together, shall we? 119 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,860 Well... It tells how Daddy and I made you. 120 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:23,640 I know. 121 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,200 Sure. You've been whispering at school, have you? 122 00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:29,080 Dirty little sneakers in corner. 123 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:33,760 No. Well, this book makes it all clear and above board, Pudding. 124 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:35,720 There. 125 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,560 Rats! 126 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,340 He's got rats! 127 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,260 They're hamsters! 128 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:51,520 He confiscated them from the choir boys. 129 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:57,930 I... I didn't want... my garden, do I? 130 00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:02,150 God preserve me from the spinsters of this parish. 131 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,030 Vicar, doesn't it look better? 132 00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,710 So much bigger with the grass cut. 133 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,200 I'm sorry. 134 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,840 That's all right. 135 00:10:31,140 --> 00:10:32,920 Quite refreshing. Just what I needed. 136 00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:39,000 Nothing like a cold shower, Vicar. 137 00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:13,650 Where is he? 138 00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:34,910 I hope you don't mind. I borrowed your pimp. 139 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:37,350 It's tea time. 140 00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:38,710 Won't you join us? 141 00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:44,450 I know you bachelors. You never eat a thing. 142 00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:48,550 Georgie, Georgie. 143 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:50,750 Wake up, Georgie, Georgie. 144 00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:51,950 Wake up. 145 00:11:52,970 --> 00:11:56,310 Josephine has just started having her baby. It's a perfect opportunity. You 146 00:11:56,310 --> 00:11:57,390 watch the whole process. 147 00:11:57,670 --> 00:12:00,550 I don't want to. Don't argue, Pudding. Come on. 148 00:12:02,410 --> 00:12:03,410 Stop it, Napoleon. 149 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,670 Josephine's busy. It's all because of you. 150 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,460 See how she's washing the baby? 151 00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:35,960 Now just imagine, my pet, that the baby is you and Josephine is 152 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:36,960 me. 153 00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:43,320 Isn't it funny to think I used to do almost exactly the same thing to you 154 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:46,840 Oh, look. 155 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:53,220 She's fondling it and kissing it all over. 156 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,490 She's really kissing it now, isn't she? 157 00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,170 Exactly like you and me. 158 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,430 She's eating it. 159 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,450 Mommy, she's eating it! 160 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,480 You have one, George. 161 00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:48,820 May I call you George? 162 00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,260 Mmm. 163 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,740 Delicious, Edith. 164 00:13:59,460 --> 00:14:01,980 I think not, thank you. 165 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,500 Why do you keep hamsters, George? 166 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,120 They scared poor Miss Bunwinster. 167 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,280 One of the choir boys. 168 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,160 Are they male or female? 169 00:14:16,299 --> 00:14:17,720 Predominantly female, I think. 170 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:21,640 You really should have one, George. 171 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,620 You look sort of hungry. 172 00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:29,380 Excuse me. 173 00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:43,440 Where have you gone now? 174 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,640 Call of nature, I suppose. 175 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:54,100 It's not my fault. 176 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,420 It's not my fault. 177 00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:05,780 You know, someone should really take him in hand. 178 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,700 Your old Meccano, eh? Yes, I had to soak it in oil to loosen the nuts. 179 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,080 These are the ladies? 180 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,100 That's right. This is Miss Elphinstone. 181 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:26,600 The plump one is Miss Unwin, and the rather sleek one is Julia Roach. Well, 182 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,780 least that's how I like it. 183 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,860 They ain't had no Osher father for a week, right? 184 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:32,260 No, indeed. 185 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,980 And what do you call that big bloke at the other end? 186 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,840 George. Male. 187 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,180 That's sort of me. 188 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,440 Oh, is he? 189 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,600 Now, the big question is, will the females go for the male? 190 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,740 And for the nuts and raisins? 191 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,300 Why do you want to know, vicar? 192 00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:52,440 It's just an experiment, Mr. Pollard. 193 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,140 I'll lay you, they go, for the fool. 194 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,140 Grub first, then nookie, eh? 195 00:15:58,180 --> 00:16:00,820 Well, I can see that you're a sporting man, Mr. Pollard. 196 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:02,680 All right. 197 00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:06,480 We'll let them go, shall we? On your remarks, ladies. 198 00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:25,680 Are you Vicar? You were right. 199 00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:30,680 Dare I suggest that you donate it to the Fendrick Fund, Mr. Pollard? Right, my 200 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,220 pleasure. I'll do that right away. 201 00:16:38,940 --> 00:16:45,220 Well, Lord, our reward is knowing that the females really are more lascivious 202 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:46,220 than the male. 203 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,660 When it was your turn, you went for the nuts and raisins. 204 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,220 I know where I stand now. 205 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,640 Point proved. 206 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,220 My advantage, I think. 207 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:08,839 If I had meant well, meant 208 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:10,819 well, if I... 209 00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:02,590 Julia. Yes? 210 00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:07,190 The biggest decision, if you dare take a sip of our fruit cup. 211 00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:09,330 It's scrumptious. 212 00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:11,650 No, 213 00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,670 lemonade, I think. 214 00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:17,610 George, this is so much better for you than fizzy lemonade. 215 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:22,510 Carbon dioxide attacks the lining of the stomach. Didn't you know? 216 00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:24,630 Really? 217 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,550 Don't be frightened, George. 218 00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:27,830 Drink it. 219 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:32,060 Don't be frightened, Georgie. 220 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,280 Drink it. 221 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,960 Not too sticky for you, Vicar. 222 00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:57,140 We don't eat the mince. 223 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,160 Or the cucumber. 224 00:19:12,989 --> 00:19:17,890 Then Sala, incorporate Sala. 225 00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,970 You're right, George. It's perfect. 226 00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:24,470 I may sing a song. 227 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,250 He's feeling happy. 228 00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:27,870 Tremendous nectar. 229 00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:29,590 George. 230 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:35,380 Why don't you and I take a little walk outside and see the lupins clear our 231 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:36,380 heads? 232 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,760 Fine. 233 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,120 Lovely. 234 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,440 I'm sure Julia can help him, if anyone can. 235 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,360 We can cool off in the boathouse. 236 00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:59,140 I am cool as a cucumber. 237 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,400 Touch on the pillow, George, just to keep her tongue cold. 238 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,700 You're a very understanding woman, Julia. 239 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,160 Relax, George. 240 00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,360 It's all right, dear. 241 00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:36,300 It's not a fantasy. 242 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,520 I'd quite like to touch your ear. 243 00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:43,980 Why 244 00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:55,960 don't 245 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:56,960 you kiss me, George? 246 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,640 She's eating it. 247 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,580 Mommy, she's eating it. 248 00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:16,440 My darling. 249 00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,460 No. 250 00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:22,900 No. 251 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:26,100 No. 252 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:32,720 No. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to eat me, aren't you? Eat 253 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,060 me. Eat me. Eat me. 254 00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,280 Go away! 255 00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:05,000 Mummy! Darling! 256 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:06,640 He's swallowing me! 257 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,600 Mummy, you're swallowing me! Georgie! 258 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:15,700 Morning, George. 259 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,480 Where are we today? 260 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:41,700 In the primary section of the duodenal loop, just above her 261 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:42,700 right kidney. 262 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,680 I believe we can escape. 263 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,080 But I don't want to escape. 264 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:55,220 My dear vicar, why ever not? 265 00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:09,660 Nobody's chasing you. Oh, yes, they are, and I... I bet they're chasing you as 266 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:10,660 well. 267 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,200 I mean, you're too scared to admit it. No. 268 00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:17,120 Well, then why do you keep coming down here, then? 269 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:24,060 I bet you were with Julia as well and got yourself swallowed up just like I 270 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:27,100 And you're ashamed about it, I'm not. 271 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:37,720 It's nice and comfortable down here. It's warm and safe and soft. 272 00:23:40,180 --> 00:23:45,420 Listen, you won't tell her where I'm hiding, will you? 273 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:47,960 Tell who, George? 274 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,200 Mummy. 275 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:18,260 the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away. 18588