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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:42,760 If a bucket of paint falls on a man's head, that's funny. 2 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,500 If the bucket fractures his skull at the same time and kills him, that's not 3 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,500 funny, it's tragic. 4 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,980 And yet, if a man falls into a sausage machine and is sold in the shops at so 5 00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:56,320 much a pound, that's funny. 6 00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:58,620 It is also tragic. 7 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,140 So why is it funny? 8 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:02,560 I don't know. 9 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:07,650 But what I do know is that somewhere within this very difficult area lies the 10 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,070 secret of all black comedy. 11 00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:14,610 The play you're going to see now is one of those blackish comedies, and thanks 12 00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:19,210 to the presence of two famous stars, it's come out a good deal funnier than I 13 00:01:19,210 --> 00:01:20,650 was ever able to make it on paper. 14 00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:31,070 Lady Turton, who ran her husband's newspaper empire as aggressively as she 15 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:32,070 his house in Norfolk. 16 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:36,300 didn't know that Sir Basil had invited an extra guest for the weekend, 17 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:38,020 John Bannister. 18 00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:52,660 Gently. It's irreplaceable. 19 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,240 Gently. My lady. 20 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:03,940 Basil! 21 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:05,760 Basil! 22 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,100 Have you gone out of your mind? 23 00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:09,300 Hello, my dear. 24 00:02:09,699 --> 00:02:12,740 What on earth is this tradesman's van doing at the front? 25 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,240 My date of acquisition. 26 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,220 Quite wonderful. Basil! 27 00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:19,240 What will my guests think? 28 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,540 Really, Basil, you've no style. 29 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,180 No style at all. 30 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,160 This way. 31 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,760 Here. 32 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,560 Evening, Jokes. 33 00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:34,920 Good evening, sir. 34 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,360 Who else have we got for the weekend? 35 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,060 Hardly anyone, sir. Yourself and Miss Carmen La Rosa, and a young friend of 36 00:03:41,060 --> 00:03:42,160 Basil's, I believe, sir. 37 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,580 A young chap, blocking the drive. 38 00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,020 Really possum, sir. 39 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,400 Good looking, is he? 40 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,460 Presentable? Bit of young blood? 41 00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:50,760 I've no idea, sir. 42 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,800 You'll find Lady Turton in the library, sir. 43 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,420 Thank you. Send up my bags, will you? I'll change first. 44 00:04:11,089 --> 00:04:12,089 She's beautiful. 45 00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:24,390 Thank you. 46 00:04:24,830 --> 00:04:25,830 Thank you. 47 00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:30,770 Ah, you made it. Good. 48 00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:32,650 Well, what do you think? 49 00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:33,890 She's just arrived. 50 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,010 I like it. 51 00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:37,990 She looks better than when we saw her last in the sale room. 52 00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:39,510 Don't you think? No comparison. 53 00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:45,110 I realize I paid over the odds, but we couldn't let her go to Dusseldorf, could 54 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:47,530 we? Anyway, I had to have her. 55 00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:51,230 She fills a real gap in my collection. 56 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,910 I like the way he's used the natural grain of the wood. 57 00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:59,370 Don't tell Lady Turton that. She hates what she calls art talk. 58 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,850 Can't imagine what he was doing, young idiot. 59 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:13,750 A young man. 60 00:05:14,370 --> 00:05:18,010 Part his pedal car all over the drive. 61 00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,950 I blasted him with my horns. 62 00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:26,670 Jelich tells me he's Basil's guest. 63 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,849 I think. 64 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:30,850 Does he ride? 65 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:32,870 Oh, we'll have to see. 66 00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:36,370 If he's Basil's guest, he's bound to be a drip. 67 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:40,900 Well, now. 68 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,060 I take that back. 69 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:47,340 My dear, may I introduce John Bannister? We happen to meet at Sotheby's. 70 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,040 Oh, Basil haunts that place. 71 00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:52,800 Every honest penny I earn, he spends on art. How do you do? 72 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:54,200 How do you do, Lady Titan? 73 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,920 Oh, Natalia, please. 74 00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:59,580 Basil, do get this presentable young man a drink. 75 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:00,980 Love you, sir. 76 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:05,060 Carmen John, Carmen La Rosa. How do you do? 77 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:08,300 Are you horsey? Not really, no. Oh. 78 00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:10,780 Then we won't have anything to say to each other. 79 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,160 What do you do? 80 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,440 I'm an art historian. 81 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,780 Oh, my God, how awful for you. 82 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,200 Jokes, get me another martini. 83 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,100 I've just met an art historian. 84 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:25,900 Oh, I think you've met Jack, Major Haddock. In a way, yes. 85 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,640 How do you do? 86 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:28,800 Unique. 87 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,480 Stupid place to leave a car. 88 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,680 I was admiring the view. 89 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:34,680 Don't we all? 90 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,320 Basil, for God's sake, take our guest upstairs. I cannot stand tweeds after 91 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,160 I can't wait to see you in a black tie. 92 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:10,710 We've admired you of the garden, sir. 93 00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,130 Bathroom in here. 94 00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:19,890 Beware the flash, sir. It's quite powerful. 95 00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:21,670 Oh, thank you. 96 00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:24,170 Dinner at 7 .30, sir. 97 00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:25,390 Thank you. 98 00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:31,530 Don't bother with the air. Don't bother, sir. That catch is rather tricky. 99 00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:34,750 I seem to have got the better of it, sir. 100 00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:38,780 Look, there's hardly anything to hang up. I just threw in a few things. Quite, 101 00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:42,720 sir. Just a weekend bag. Look, Rayleigh, I'd rather you didn't, sir. 102 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,780 Do you play bridge, sir? 103 00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:49,000 Yes, sir. As a matter of fact, I do. Ah, well, then you'll be doubly welcome 104 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 here, sir. Believe me. 105 00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:51,740 They play a lot of bridge, do they? 106 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,560 Yes, sir. And poker. And gin rummy. But Sir Basil prefers bridge. 107 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,460 I see you favour the modern approach to evening dress, sir. What? 108 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,420 Snap on, snap on. 109 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:05,960 It's a bit creased. 110 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:08,840 You laundered it yourself, sir? It's drip dry. 111 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,200 Quite. 112 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,400 I can't wear man -made fabrics myself. 113 00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:15,920 I find the static electricity it generates inconvenient. 114 00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,880 One tends to give off blue flashes in the dark. 115 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,620 That will be all, Jokes. 116 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:22,940 But your pumps, sir? Pumps? 117 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,460 Your evening footwear, sir. They may require polish, possibly. No. No, 118 00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:28,460 fine. Ready. 119 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,480 Very well, sir. 120 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,059 I'll just leave you to it, then. Thank you. 121 00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:34,419 Thank you, sir. 122 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,510 Yes, of course. 123 00:08:38,730 --> 00:08:41,370 I never accept emoluments, sir. 124 00:08:42,909 --> 00:08:43,909 No tips? 125 00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,690 If I might offer a little further advice, sir. 126 00:08:47,290 --> 00:08:51,990 Yes? It's simply that her ladyship does somewhat tend to overbid her hand. 127 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,490 Thank you, Jokes. 128 00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:59,550 One further point, sir. At dinner... Yes? 129 00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:04,650 Her ladyship's right foot doesn't always seem to know what her left foot is 130 00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:06,570 doing. That will be all, Jokes. 131 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,380 I sincerely hope so, sir. 132 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:14,780 So what exactly do you specialize in as an art historian? 133 00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:17,220 Renaissance. 134 00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:18,620 Oh. 135 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,320 Basil used to call me his mumbling Madonna. 136 00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:24,980 But I always saw myself more like that. 137 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:29,120 The telephone, milady. 138 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,880 Oh, what a bore. 139 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:31,819 Who is it? 140 00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:33,820 The editor of the Sunday Globe, milady. 141 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,820 I am a slave to Basil's inheritance. 142 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:40,980 Now, his father, what a magnificent man he was. 143 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:45,120 Basil, wasn't your father a magnificent man? 144 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,200 Yes, dear. Very forthright. 145 00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:48,540 Like you. 146 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:54,360 Brilliant. Built an international newspaper empire to the coarse 147 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,920 gazette. Such animal magnetism. Even on his deathbed. 148 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,020 But does his son take after him? 149 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,960 Well... The editor is waiting, milady. 150 00:10:04,340 --> 00:10:08,100 He needs to know how many nudes you require for the front page of the 151 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,100 Edition, milady. 152 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,600 Thank you, George. 153 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,160 I shall tell him to think big. 154 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,540 Amazing woman, one. 155 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,020 One for the book, eh? 156 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:21,300 Yes. 157 00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,740 Tell me, what do you think of Basil's art collection? 158 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,620 A load of rubbish. Quite the reverse. 159 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:31,240 Ah, better than what you chaps see in it. Well, for a start, it must be worth 160 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,240 millions. 161 00:10:35,910 --> 00:10:38,090 Really? Well, that's put the fear of God into him. 162 00:10:38,690 --> 00:10:41,230 Oh, Basil, haven't you finished eating yet? 163 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:46,050 He is the slowest eater in the world. Nibble, nibble, nibble. 164 00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:48,030 Thank you, Joke. 165 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:51,150 Tell Cook the poached salmon was abominable. 166 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:53,810 With pleasure, milady. I know how she values your opinion. 167 00:10:57,610 --> 00:10:58,610 Well, 168 00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:01,490 what's it to be tonight? 169 00:11:01,550 --> 00:11:02,550 Gin rummy? 170 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,600 Liar dice. 171 00:11:03,740 --> 00:11:04,780 Strip poker. 172 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:06,660 Bridge. 173 00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:09,260 One fade. 174 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,300 Three clubs. 175 00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,220 Three halves. 176 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,760 No bid. 177 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:18,720 Three no trumps. 178 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,080 No bid. 179 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:22,740 No bid. 180 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,840 No bid. 181 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,520 Must you always bid three no trumps, Basil? 182 00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:31,560 It makes the game so dull, so unadventurous. 183 00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:33,110 Not if one wins, dear. 184 00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:37,770 What's the idea, man? 185 00:11:38,050 --> 00:11:39,610 I didn't ask for another scotch. 186 00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:43,030 No, sir, but as things are looking, you may well need one, sir. 187 00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:45,750 Are you still losing? 188 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,430 And quite the score, sir. 189 00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:54,290 No, you may not. 190 00:11:55,470 --> 00:11:56,970 In fact, Jokes, you can go to bed. 191 00:11:57,290 --> 00:11:58,470 This is our last hand. 192 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,010 Very good, milady. 193 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,750 Mr. Bannister and I are 1 ,200 upjokes. 194 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:04,970 I'm very gratifying, sir. 195 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:06,850 Good night, sir. 196 00:12:09,030 --> 00:12:09,949 Now go. 197 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:10,950 It's all yours. 198 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,130 We overbid, Natalia. I've told you before. 199 00:12:15,390 --> 00:12:16,049 Oh, Jack. 200 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:18,610 No postmortems. You know I can't stand postmortems. 201 00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:24,710 Basil, since winning's obviously worn you out, I suggest you go to bed, too. 202 00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,470 I'm rather tired, dear. 203 00:12:28,390 --> 00:12:29,670 I will. 204 00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:31,090 Settle in the morning. 205 00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:03,230 Yes, Mr. Bannister, you leave a lot to be desired. 206 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:04,510 Do I? 207 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:06,970 Beating your hostess at bridge? 208 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:08,410 Jack's furious. 209 00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:10,410 And then locking your door. 210 00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:12,770 Such ingratitude. 211 00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:16,850 Besides, I have a key to every bedroom in this house. 212 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,330 All 47 of them. 213 00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:23,770 47? 214 00:13:27,010 --> 00:13:28,530 It's ripe pyjamas. 215 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:31,530 I'm cold -blooded. Oh. 216 00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:34,690 Oh, and the bow. 217 00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:36,990 How sweet. 218 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:39,330 How old -fashioned. 219 00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:47,230 Just, uh, think of it as your bread -and -butter letter, darling. 220 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:49,210 Written in it both. 221 00:13:57,569 --> 00:13:59,850 Forgive me, milady, I thought I heard an intruder. 222 00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:02,910 You are the intruder, Jax. 223 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,190 Could I be of any service to you, sir? 224 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,930 No, I'm... Go away, Jax! 225 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:14,250 Hearing strange sounds, I took the precaution of alerting Sir Basil, 226 00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:19,890 As a butler, Joe, you'd make a perfect baby minder. 227 00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:25,830 I hope I've been of some service, sir. 228 00:14:26,140 --> 00:14:27,180 I suppose so, yes. 229 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,800 If I might suggest it, a chair braced firmly under the doorknob is quite the 230 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:32,800 best deterrent. 231 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,100 Her ladyship has been known to sleepwalk before dawn. 232 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,520 Good night, Chokes. 233 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,720 Good night, sir. 234 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,220 When my father died, I was taken rather by surprise. 235 00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:54,680 Up until then, I'd lived a very quiet bachelor life. 236 00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:59,030 Then suddenly, at 40, I seemed to become enormously eligible. 237 00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:01,750 Young ladies appeared from nowhere. 238 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,750 Oh, I bought that head last March. 239 00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:06,869 A Frank? 240 00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:07,870 Yes. 241 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:13,770 And then Natalia appeared and literally swept me off my feet. All the others 242 00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,350 were rather miffed. She is very striking. 243 00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,270 All a wonderful head, isn't it? 244 00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:23,090 Though, I must say, she has rather changed the tone of our various 245 00:15:23,410 --> 00:15:25,840 But the cash... does roll in. 246 00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,200 Who is Sir Gallop? 247 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,160 We're coming. 248 00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,140 Jack. Let her go. 249 00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:45,520 Did you sleep well 250 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,299 last night? 251 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,400 Yes, eventually. 252 00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:50,880 Jones told me he thought he heard an intruder. 253 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,480 False alarm. 254 00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:55,230 Quite. 255 00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,410 Jokes is very low. 256 00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:01,070 Oh, 257 00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:10,190 I love this 258 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:11,190 place. 259 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,450 Every inch. 260 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,160 What's the dicky bird? 261 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:28,920 Take one like this. 262 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,120 Oh, that's very good. 263 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,400 Tally -ho. 264 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,400 Shall we go down? 265 00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:39,160 It's very pleasant here. 266 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:48,300 Oh, yes, brilliant. Just like those things at the seaside. 267 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,080 Idiot. Gotcha. 268 00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:01,120 How now, my proud beauty. 269 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:09,280 Natalia finds everything so amusing. 270 00:17:10,619 --> 00:17:12,960 Jack, I'm stuck. 271 00:17:13,579 --> 00:17:14,599 You can't be. 272 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:16,460 I am. 273 00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:17,539 Oh, rubbish. 274 00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:20,819 What goes in must come what in. Jack, do something. 275 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,680 Oh, flatten your ears back. 276 00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:41,380 We'll get something quickly. Butter, lard, anything. 277 00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:47,720 I got my fist stuck in a jar of boiled sweets once. Couldn't get it out. 278 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:52,980 Finally, I broke the jar with a hammer and told my mother it fell off the shelf 279 00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:53,980 by mistake. 280 00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,700 I suppose we ought to help, really. 281 00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:00,600 I suppose so, yes. 282 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,820 A cigarette? 283 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,620 Virginia this side, Turkish that. 284 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,200 I don't, thank you. 285 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,260 I do. 286 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,720 Nothing good Turkish. 287 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,960 What are you doing? 288 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,160 Better take the jacket off. 289 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,320 We'll just have to wait for Carmen. 290 00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,020 Oh, God. 291 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,700 Now look who's here. 292 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,800 Battle, get me out of here. 293 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:01,340 What's the matter, dear? 294 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,100 Isn't it obvious? 295 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:04,920 Stuck ahead through the blast of hell. 296 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:06,760 Can't get it out. 297 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,400 How or? 298 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,420 Just for a lark, you know. 299 00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:14,440 Quite. A bit of fun, as it were. 300 00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,780 Battle, don't be such a damn fool. 301 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,140 Pretty obvious. We'll just have to break up this lump of wood. 302 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,500 Surely not. 303 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:26,100 No petroleum jelly should do the trick. 304 00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,920 Ah, you thought of it already. 305 00:19:31,060 --> 00:19:32,060 Allow me. 306 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:35,540 Good. You're not going to smother me in that much. 307 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,280 Basil! Keep still, dear. 308 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:56,210 That's right, on the ears. 309 00:19:57,790 --> 00:19:58,790 Plenty of ears. 310 00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:01,890 Oh, how dare you! 311 00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:05,070 Oh, this is so humiliating! 312 00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:06,510 Oh, Beth! 313 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,090 Oh, look at you! 314 00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:13,970 You are enjoying this, aren't you? You beastly little rabbit of a man! 315 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,730 I reckon my old fart would get her, eh? 316 00:20:17,490 --> 00:20:18,950 Not going to take her, that's the answer. 317 00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:20,510 Poor madam. 318 00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:24,210 Try now. A good, strong, poor... 319 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:25,430 from the hips. 320 00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:29,690 I must look ghastly. 321 00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:34,350 It's no care. 322 00:20:35,390 --> 00:20:37,990 We will straighten her out. You take the left leg. 323 00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:39,830 You two, come on. 324 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:45,470 Now, you take the left. That's right. Both of you. That's right. Up. 325 00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:47,190 Now. 326 00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:48,350 Ready. 327 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:49,730 Steady. 328 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,960 best lady turtle. 329 00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:16,420 Traitor! 330 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:17,720 No! 331 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,520 Perhaps we should call the fire again. 332 00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:26,060 Oh, and have them see me looking like this. 333 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,500 Ah, jokes. 334 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,460 An unusual occurrence, sir. Quite. 335 00:21:30,660 --> 00:21:33,460 I presume it is the ears that are the main obstruction, sir. 336 00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:34,700 Could well be. 337 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,240 They do tend to swell in moments of excitement. 338 00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:40,480 Jokes. My lady. 339 00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,260 Please. 340 00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:44,030 Do Something constructive? 341 00:21:44,410 --> 00:21:47,870 We are considering ways and means, milady. 342 00:21:49,510 --> 00:21:54,510 Ah, I said so. Chop the damn thing up. Chop up a masterpiece. 343 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,950 No question, man. 344 00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,610 All right, that'll... Come on, get on with it. 345 00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:05,170 Your ladyship is right, sir. No time like the present, I always say. The saw 346 00:22:05,170 --> 00:22:06,430 the axe, sir. 22807