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00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:09,530
of applause for our new Julie and Sybil
show band.
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00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:19,410
Okay, well, you can catch Toby live
weekdays at 3 on the Santa Monica Pier
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00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,250
Sundays after 2 in the parking lot of
the La Brea Tar Pit.
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00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:29,530
Toby's other talents include painting
with his feet and eating formica.
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00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:33,310
And yes, ladies, he's single.
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00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:37,790
Oh, that looks too easy. Audience, let's
give him a challenge.
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00:00:42,090 --> 00:00:43,710
Oh, I want a goldfish.
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00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:46,710
One more, Toby?
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00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,130
Oh, oh.
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00:00:52,230 --> 00:00:54,750
Stay tuned. You don't want to miss
what's next.
11
00:00:56,070 --> 00:01:01,350
How does that a compound fracture?
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00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:16,280
Work if you can get it, and if you get
it, won't you tell me how?
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00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,420
Boy, Julie's really jealous of you. You
know, she offered me 60 bucks to slash
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00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:25,420
the tires on your car.
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Then she found out I was your daughter.
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00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,100
Did you give the money back?
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00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:39,430
Nobody should be allowed to hire a
relative on this show.
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00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:44,290
Julie, calm down. The last time you got
this upset, you pulled out all your
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00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:45,290
eyelashes.
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00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,470
Charlie, I'm serious. No more relatives.
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00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:50,870
Dad, when you gave me this production
assistant job, you didn't tell me people
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were going to make me do stuff.
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00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:53,410
God.
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00:01:53,970 --> 00:01:54,970
Dad.
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00:01:56,190 --> 00:01:59,750
Now take those away and put them on the
side of the freeway where they belong.
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00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:01,490
Yes, ma 'am.
27
00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:04,310
What do you think you're doing,
Marianne?
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00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:06,170
Redecorating. Just...
29
00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:10,750
Wait, let's do something about Julie's
hair.
30
00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:14,870
What? Displace an entire family of bats?
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00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:21,750
Well, Julie is momentarily placated. I
told her she had a big stack of fan mail
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00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:25,430
waiting for her. Now I just gotta get my
daughter to crank out 50 letters in the
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00:02:25,430 --> 00:02:26,430
next 20 minutes.
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00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:29,030
Oh, Marianne!
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00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,230
This is Charlie Addison. Charlie
Addison, this is my best friend Marianne
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00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:35,890
Thorpe. So this is Charlie Addison.
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00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:43,510
Who am I for an F? Absolutely nothing
about every minute of every day for the
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00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:44,510
past two weeks.
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00:02:45,570 --> 00:02:47,170
Don't you have some furniture to judge?
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00:02:51,470 --> 00:02:55,730
So, I'll pick you up at seven, and we'll
discuss next week's guests.
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00:02:56,270 --> 00:02:59,830
Yes, just as long as we're clear, this
is not a date. Repeat, this is not a
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00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:02,770
date. Absolutely not. Our relationship
is strictly professional.
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00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:05,050
Good. Good. You smell great.
44
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:06,350
Nice belt.
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00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,650
So that's kind of cute, kind of wild,
Charlie.
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00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:14,370
Yeah. The man Mom pretends to hate but
secretly lusts after.
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00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:16,510
Like we don't notice her licking her
lips.
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00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:20,490
She's not licking her lips. She's
sharpening her tongue.
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00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:27,390
Charlie's a great guy.
50
00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:31,050
So why won't you date him? Because we
work together. It'd be wrong.
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00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,500
You didn't think it was wrong to date
that actor who gnawed off your foot in
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00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,500
Dead Shoe Diaries?
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00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:43,120
He didn't gnaw off my foot. It fell off
because of a gypsy curse.
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00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,940
He just ate it.
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00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,660
Now, stop badgering me. As much as I'd
like to date Charlie, I can't. Things
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00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:51,940
just going too well at work.
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00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,300
Sybil, please. You're allowed to have a
good job and a good love life.
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00:03:56,740 --> 00:04:00,000
Yeah, I should be able to date Charlie
without having to worry about something
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00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,180
else going wrong in my life.
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00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:03,750
Happiness and love doesn't mean I'm
going to lose my job.
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00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,870
Maybe it just means when I get home,
I'll find out I'm out of toilet paper.
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Or ice cream.
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00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:12,990
Okay, you don't get to play this game
anymore.
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00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:21,050
I won't believe it.
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I won't.
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I won't.
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00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:29,650
Do you think he finally realized that
all the other waiters are wearing the
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00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:30,650
outfit?
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00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:38,720
Credit card rejected.
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00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:44,020
Huh.
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00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,540
I guess that's the one I use to bail out
Luxembourg.
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00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:52,880
Try one of these.
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00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:55,960
I checked all your cards. They were all
canceled.
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My babies.
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00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:14,680
Cry me a river.
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00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:19,860
Where will I ever find another customer
who will simply sign her name after I've
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00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:21,500
added my 50 % tip?
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00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,140
Now I'll never be able to build my dude
ranch in Montana.
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00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:29,660
Don't panic.
80
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,020
Where's Marianne's card? I'm sure there
has to be some kind of mistake.
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00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:38,960
The credit card company told me not to
give it back. They said I had to cut it
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00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:39,960
in half.
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00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:43,690
Please let this be a dream.
84
00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:45,470
Wake up, waiter.
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Wake up.
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00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,890
Oh, relax, relax.
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00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:52,490
He didn't cut my card in half.
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00:05:52,730 --> 00:05:56,770
How do you know? Because I would have
felt it here.
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00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,050
She's right.
90
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,290
I couldn't bring myself to do it.
91
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:05,230
I gave it to the maitre d'.
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00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,440
It's Chanel.
93
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:33,940
What happened?
94
00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:39,500
We just came from a meeting with her
business manager. She's B -R -O -K -E.
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00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:42,480
Oh, my God. She's illiterate?
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00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:25,650
bed practice.
97
00:07:27,150 --> 00:07:30,190
She was exactly like this the day they
put Ray on on the market.
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00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:38,930
I know, I know, honey. It still burns,
doesn't it?
99
00:07:40,530 --> 00:07:41,530
Hi, honey.
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00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:43,490
Sibyl, I came as fast as I could.
101
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,310
What happened?
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00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:57,330
Mary Ann's business manager was bribed
by Dr. Dick.
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00:07:58,030 --> 00:07:59,030
I'm sorry.
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00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:00,110
I'm sorry, Dr. Dick.
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00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:09,490
And then Mary Ann's business manager
tricked her into signing a form where
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00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,289
gives Dr.
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00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:13,450
Dick power of attorney.
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00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:16,670
You used to be a lawyer and she wants to
know if he can do that.
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00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:19,770
He can do that.
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00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,040
Hoo boy.
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Yes, he can.
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00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:32,880
Well,
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00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:35,299
what did he buy?
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00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,140
Leg warmers or us?
115
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:44,200
Raw pork on a stick?
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00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,280
What are cowkins?
117
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,200
Apparently, it's...
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00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:57,380
Part chicken, part cow. Basically, it's
a dog with feathers, only you can milk
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00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,380
it.
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00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,320
All she has left is the house.
121
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,100
And the mortgage payments.
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00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,480
Marianne, this is horrible. Can I get
you some aspirin?
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00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:16,940
Can I get you a blanket?
124
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,680
How about a martini?
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00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,100
Make it a double.
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00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:30,640
I'm sorry, Miriam.
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00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:36,420
If you need any help with, you know,
packing... Ira!
128
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,600
Goodbye.
129
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:42,680
Don't you panic, honey. I've got a full
-time job now. I can help you out.
130
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,200
Oh, God.
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00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:49,000
You can finally pay me back for all
those lunches I paid for.
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00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,240
That'll be $257 ,000.
133
00:09:58,060 --> 00:10:01,200
Maybe you could, you know, just kind of
sell a lot of these things you're not
134
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,800
going to need anymore, like your jewelry
and works of art.
135
00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:07,760
I bet you could probably get a pretty
penny for your shark tank.
136
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,980
I can't listen to this anymore. I've got
to get out of here.
137
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,360
There is only one thing, one thing that
is going to help me through this.
138
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,500
I have got to shop.
139
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:25,949
You're right.
140
00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:29,770
I can't go shopping anymore.
141
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,250
Come on now, listen.
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00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:41,350
You can come over here and stay a few
days. I'll take care of you. Oh, thank
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00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,810
you, darling. You're such a good friend.
144
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:45,170
By the way, do you still have cotton
sheets?
145
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:48,350
Yes.
146
00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:06,070
Well, if she was my mother, I guess I'd
be drinking this early, too.
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00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:09,490
Charlie,
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00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,930
as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I
have to go upstairs and sand down all
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00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:13,930
the sharp corners.
150
00:11:16,870 --> 00:11:18,150
We've had kind of an emergency.
151
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:23,230
I'm really sorry. I'm not going to be
able to go on our meeting.
152
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:26,610
Where's the little slip I fill out for
breakfast?
153
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:32,850
See, that's my friend. She's not well.
154
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:35,780
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
155
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,680
Is there anything I can do?
156
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,500
No, thanks.
157
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,340
Listen, though, you know, we were going
to go out to dinner, have a little wine.
158
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:47,380
We would have started out talking about
business, but then we would have just
159
00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,880
ended up staring into each other's eyes.
160
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:55,780
Letting our fingertips touch ever so
casually as we reached for the
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00:11:56,060 --> 00:12:02,080
And then we would have had to admit that
we're attractive to each other.
162
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,090
Oh, I had a wonderful time.
163
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:13,570
Me too.
164
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:15,730
Oh, yeah.
165
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,730
I'd really like to ask you to stay, but,
you know, my friend needs me and
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00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:21,730
everything.
167
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,110
Yeah, that's okay. I understand.
168
00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:38,410
almost made me forget there really was
something I needed to tell you.
169
00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:43,770
Oh, Sybil, I'm sorry. I did everything
that I could, but the station is
170
00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:44,830
canceling our talk show.
171
00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,250
40 feet tall.
172
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:10,230
It has huge hairy antennae and is
destroying everything in its path.
173
00:13:13,530 --> 00:13:15,890
Great. The giant fingers came back
again.
174
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:22,230
Honestly, I am so angry at Dick this
time. Even the thought of blowing up his
175
00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:27,070
new motorcycle that he paid for with my
money doesn't fill me with the customary
176
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,070
glee.
177
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:34,250
Apparently, I underestimated the glee.
178
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:39,590
Blow up that ridiculous new boat that's
sitting in his driveway.
179
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:41,910
No! It's not going to bring my job back.
180
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:46,630
Oh, Sybil, come on. You have a new
relationship with an exciting man, two
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00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:49,130
beautiful daughters, and a house that's
worth twice what you paid for it.
182
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:52,670
Whereas I barely have the cash for the
enchilada combo at Del Taco.
183
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,090
Oh, congratulations.
184
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:56,910
You win the crappy life contest.
185
00:13:57,910 --> 00:13:59,870
Maybe this is a challenge from the
universe.
186
00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:04,210
Maybe the universe is trying to teach
you that you have to learn that
187
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,490
possessions don't mean anything.
188
00:14:06,459 --> 00:14:09,840
Sybil, you gave the same speech to Gary
Coleman on Touched by an Angel.
189
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,960
Well, he put the gun down, didn't he?
190
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,200
I suppose this means I'm going to have
to re -enter the workforce.
191
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
But what can I do?
192
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,120
What skills do I have?
193
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,500
I pretend our gun in the plastic. That's
what gives that fireball its
194
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,540
interesting green hue.
195
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,800
Marianne, you have skills.
196
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:32,819
Oh, what?
197
00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:34,640
Dialing a cell phone, shopping.
198
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:40,680
What I said was put the booster charge
under the satellite dish. That's what
199
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,680
gives it that lift.
200
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,940
I just wish you'd stop putting yourself
down.
201
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,180
You are such a good friend.
202
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:50,900
Here.
203
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,540
Blow up his Porsche.
204
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,500
I insist.
205
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,540
No. Oh, go ahead.
206
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:57,980
I mean, look at it.
207
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,920
Such an eyesore.
208
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,140
You're right. You know what we call that
back home? Big old driveway penis.
209
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,440
That was quick.
210
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,320
Big surprise.
211
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:19,560
Okay, welcome back.
212
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:24,080
Well, this is our last show, and there's
some people who need to be thanked,
213
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,019
darn it.
214
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,340
The people you don't see.
215
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,660
The people on the other side of the
camera who, well, they make us look good
216
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:31,660
week after week.
217
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,860
Yeah, you know, the people we're going
to go out and get drunk with after the
218
00:15:34,860 --> 00:15:35,860
show.
219
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:41,170
I'd like to say a special thank you to a
very special guy.
220
00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:45,090
He's almost like a brother to me, our
cameraman, Jamie.
221
00:15:45,870 --> 00:15:46,870
It's Vern.
222
00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:56,050
What happened to Jamie?
223
00:15:56,450 --> 00:15:57,590
There is no Jamie.
224
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,270
There's an Amy in props.
225
00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:03,550
I thought that was Sherry. No, there's a
Terry in craft services.
226
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:04,749
Oh, who cares?
227
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:05,750
More than me.
228
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,900
Speaking of arts and crafts, Sybil, I
made you a little farewell gift.
229
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,120
Uh -oh.
230
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,280
It's a picture I made out of bird seed.
231
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,800
Oh, it's so cute.
232
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,400
It's an armadillo.
233
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:32,340
Oh, it's you.
234
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,940
Yeah. I thought you'd like a little
memento of our time together.
235
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,760
Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.
236
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,080
Now I just have to get a parakeet, so
I'll have someone to share it with.
237
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:47,460
Well, I have a little something for you.
238
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:50,340
It's a bag of old shoes.
239
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,280
I was going to send them to the
Goodwill, but then I thought, you know,
240
00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:00,900
remembered how much you love to decorate
them and make planners and gravy boats
241
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:01,900
and stuff.
242
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,380
You gave me your old shoes?
243
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,569
The show's ending doesn't mean I'm dead.
I'll be back.
244
00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:33,650
Meanwhile, uh... Why don't I introduce
you to my very best friend, Marianne
245
00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:34,650
Thorpe?
246
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:41,750
I'm not prepared. I look a mess. What
would I say? What would I do?
247
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Well, you could start with telling...
Watch the shadows and shoot me from the
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00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:46,010
left. Zoe!
249
00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:07,750
because I have something to say to this
woman.
250
00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:12,930
Sybil, you have always been there for
me.
251
00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:20,370
When my ex -husband was unfaithful with
the night nurse, you were there for me.
252
00:18:21,570 --> 00:18:24,950
When he cheated with the x -ray
technician, you were my rock.
253
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:32,170
When he slam -dunked that Laker girl
after telling me it was at a seminar.
254
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:37,020
teaching third -world physicians how to
perform liposuction using only a sponge,
255
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,760
a shrimp fork, and a straw.
256
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:45,760
Oh, what a fool I was. I mean, think,
Marianne, think. They don't have shrimp
257
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,360
appetizers at a coffee plantation.
258
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,120
I was blind, blocked.
259
00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,260
Anyway, thank you, Sybil.
260
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:15,750
Any of you watching would like to
contribute to the Marianne Thorpe Relief
261
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:23,830
Remember, your donation of a duvet
cover, crystal bowl, or chauffeur.
262
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:24,870
Bye.
263
00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:29,910
Marianne, that was shameless.
264
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:31,810
You should have asked for cash.
265
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:39,210
Excuse me, but I'm looking for Marianne
Thorpe.
266
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:47,180
to offer a high -paying and prestigious
position in the government of my
267
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:51,320
country, leading a holy war against the
infidels to the south.
268
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,660
Oh, Mary Ann, I meant to tell you I
faxed your resume to Soldier Fortune
269
00:19:56,660 --> 00:19:57,660
magazine.
270
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:03,480
Good thinking, darling. Tell me, is
there a Tiffany's in your backward but
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00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,480
-meaning country?
272
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:14,900
Okay, honey, bye -bye. Bye.
273
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:26,000
Well, I am no longer Marianne. From now
on, my name is Kalamara Kina.
274
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,140
I have no idea what it means, but it
comes with a tiara.
275
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,100
Sybil Sheridan, Marianne Thorpe.
276
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:38,920
Hi. Which foreign government do you work
for?
277
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,360
You're under arrest for murder.
278
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:43,220
Murder?
279
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:44,760
we murder?
280
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,720
Dr. Richard Thorpe. He was in a certain
Chris Craft last night when he was blown
281
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,040
up. Did he say Chris Craft?
282
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,340
She's my dental hygienist.
283
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:58,939
Let's go, lady.
284
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:00,140
Oh, come on. This is impossible.
285
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:02,720
I made sure he wasn't home when I blew
up that boat.
286
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:06,720
Uh, doesn't she have the right to remain
silent?
22673
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